The Awkward Silence

12:28 AM

@EmC you're quite welcome :) Also, really I should be thanking you. Your answer to my question was incredible. I used the advice you gave, and over time, my girlfriend got much more comfortable talking about things. We're at a point now where there's not anything left that she isn't able to talk to me about, except for what the dress she just bought for our wedding looks like ;)

Em C

@Rainbacon !!! I don't think I knew about that, congrats :D

Rainbacon

12:43 AM

Thank you!

Em C

how goes the planning? :)

El'endia Starman

1:06 AM

Oh hey congrats! :D

user15026

@Rainbacon aaaaaaaaaaaa omg congrats that is THE BEST NEWS

user15026

Like seriously could we ask for a better outcome of an IPS post? I don't think so :P

2

user15026

This room is filling me with a lot of hope and light right now.

ElizB

Alright, I'm back on chat and I was puzzled about the pings earlier, so I went back and found what started it all.... @Rainbacon @Noon @Tinkeringbell Thank you for thinking of this and starting it :)

El'endia Starman

She chuckled quite a bit while reading back through the transcript. :)

ElizB

1:16 AM

@avazula Aww, thanks. I wish I didn't live so far away from most people here. After I graduate, I want to see if I can try and go somewhere else, some traveling :)

El'endia Starman

We do have another online friend in Switzerland.

ElizB

@Noon I am glad to be a representative of the deaf community and really I like showing that deaf people are people that just wanna stop the idea that not having some sense makes your brain incapable of doing stuff

@El'endiaStarman That's what I was thinking as well, some traveling and going different places.

El'endia Starman

@ElizB Meanwhile, having a brain incapable of doing stuff certainly means not having any sense!

Rainbacon

Thank you everyone. We're very excited. @Ash, it's actually not just one IPS post. My very first question was about how to explain to a girl I had just met that I had autism. As it turns out, not only did that post help me figure out how to bring it up, but when I did, she did some research and came across the post and found some good advice in the answers to help her understand me.

ElizB

the only issue is getting enough money and time and making sure that doesn't get in the way of preparing for a little one, possibly. We're not trying for one at this time, but I predict that we want to try for one by the end of 2019 through to 2020.

so we'll see what happens :)

Rainbacon

1:21 AM

@EmC It's going really well, we've got a date, a venue, a DJ, a caterer, a minister, a block of hotel rooms. And she just got her dress this past weekend.

El'endia Starman

That does sound like great progress. When's it?

Em C

@Rainbacon ahh, that's so exciting :)))

Rainbacon

I'm really excited for this summer. We're getting married in July and we're moving in together when our leases end in June. I can't wait until there's not an hour long train ride to see each other.

ElizB

Wedding preparations are so fun but can be stressful! I hope that you both are doing well despite some stress. I loved preparing for mine with @El'endiaStarman but here's the thing, he and I paid attention to different details... hehe I took care of selecting colors, flowers, etc and he took care of the money :P

El'endia Starman

Hahahaha yep.

Rainbacon

1:23 AM

She's kind of stressed because I don't have an opinion on most of the details. I told her the only detail I care about is that she's the bride

El'endia Starman

@Rainbacon Yeah, that'll be wonderful. :)

@Rainbacon Heyyyyy just like me! :P

ElizB

@Rainbacon that is exactly what @El'endiaStarman thought of..... oi. drove me bonkers

El'endia Starman

Well, actually, I did care about the details a bit, but mostly that it was simple but meaningful.

user15026

@Rainbacon oh that's fantastic

ElizB

yeah haha

ElizB

1:40 AM

Tomorrow will be my 10 month anniversary being married to @El'endiaStarman :) So far, I've survived being a programmer's wife :P hehehe

Rainbacon

Well, I may have to have my fiancee pick your brain sometime so that she can survive being a programmer's wife ;)

Em C

@ElizB congrats :) us programmers aren't that bad, are we? :P

ElizB

@EmC hehehe nah, not too bad. just the timing when fixing bugs is wildly unpredictable...

@Rainbacon Sure, I think the number one thing I learned is to have patience.

Em C

@ElizB heh, true that

ElizB

@EmC Other than that, he's lovable, patient, and overall great. Some other people don't understand 'introvert' so that's something I've gotten used to

Rainbacon

1:47 AM

Well, she's pretty patient

ElizB

@Rainbacon That's good.

El'endia Starman

Wouldn't surprise me if patience was a trait common among programmers' partners.

ElizB

@El'endiaStarman wouldn't surprise me either :P Take for example he says hang on, i wanna fix this bug, it'll take 30 minutes... 4 hours later..... still banging his head on the computer, muttering angrily at it then smacks his head and says "ohhh, duhhhh. just this then there we go!"

@EmC relatable?

Em C

@ElizB very! you think "oh, I just need to add this one line, easy" but then it doesn't work as expected and you go down a rabbit hole of weird behavior and suddenly it's hours later :P

ElizB

@EmC yuuuuup. then I'm just on the outside wondering what the heck is going on

Rainbacon

1:53 AM

That's like the time we were travelling for a wedding and I was debugging failed unit tests in our hotel room until 2 in the morning

ElizB

@Rainbacon Yup, that sounds like @El'endiaStarman hehe wow so similar

Rainbacon

That's what we do

Em C

@ElizB yeah, sometimes you don't know what you don't know, so it's hard to come up with a realistic time estimate

Rainbacon

Especially when moving code from one file to another can break 300 tests

ElizB

I am grateful that there are people who do programming. people don't realize how incredibly complicated it is to learn one or more languages, take that information, apply it, and make it do things we had to manually do before or couldn't do before.

@EmC Yup, totally understand that now, being with him now for over 6 years total. (married 10 months)

El'endia Starman

1:58 AM

@ElizB ....wait what, 6 years? :O

And yeah, I relate to every programming happenstance that's been mentioned. :P Been there, done that, and that, and that...

@El'endiaStarman Oooh, it'll be 6 years this June. :D

ElizB

@El'endiaStarman Yeah, just about... I think.

@El'endiaStarman Oh, wow. I was close lol

El'endia Starman

@Rainbacon I've coded until late in the morning numerous times. One in particular stands out though: I was writing a gif encoder from scratch for one of my projects (VarLife) and a small error in the documentation I was using meant it took me until 7am to figure it all out. But man, it was super satisfying to have it all working. :D

Rainbacon

Yeah, it's such a great feeling. At my first internship I spent multiple weeks working on a single bug. Finally figured out that the code wasn't marking old session ids as inactive so if someone re-joined a video conference they would join twice, once as a blank video player

dhein

6:07 AM

@Tinkeringbell Hey I am trying to grow over it, too. But thanks for acknowledging that I am a good punchingbag :'D

@Tinkeringbell @All Is it just me or is any one else feeling like this chat becomes a kind of autism kindergarden with Tink being our Garden momma? x'D

2

@scohe001 pf screw that! With the right mindset there are no limits! I mean.... whats distance? Its not like anyone of us is sitting on the moon, is it?!

@avazula So I am Sir? :P Well, I will check that list when back home today. Don't like music at work, and couldn't get to that anymore.

@Noon Deaf culture? What exactly is that? Hanging out with deafs? I like that too '^.^ next time gonna happen in April or may I think. looking forward ^^

@Ash I just have to note again on this: I got my job position at SAP through an IPS post, as without that post I would have had the motivation to apply here. So while thats another kind of outcome, its still compatible with that one I'd say xP

Ok, I stoped reading that conversation. Don't want to get drained by emotions again early in the morning xD

So hey good morning you all and have a nice day :)

@Noon: Oh btw I tried that ASMR(?) thing yesterday, it kinda worked. But it had some.... intervall....(?) that felt not fitting for me.... if that makes any sense.... So I skipped through a few other of theese thingys, where I had to say most of them had sounds in between that I found noisy. So dunno if it has the expected impact on me.

user15026

6:43 AM

@dhein that's awesome too! I love it.

Noon

7:29 AM

@dhein There is a lot of different ASMR video. Some sound work for some people when it doesn't work for other. For example, I like wispering noice but I find some "squishy" noise kind of boring. The point of ASMR is to find the sounds that works for you

@dhein I didn't know anything about deaf people before meeting @ElizB, so I would say that, to me, deaf culture is the knowledges deaf people have and other generaly don't (unless they are friend with someone on the deaf community)

@EmC If you still need cheering, I think you are an amazing person and mod wjo always have the right words :)

dhein

@Noon Ah, I see. yeah the whispering was in fact relaxing. Just as said the intervall felt kinda weird I found. But I think I got the point now :)

@Noon Hmmmm haven't found any particular knowledge to be honest '^.^ Its just.... I like hanging out with them, as there are no unpredictable sounds appearing and so having together time with them is really relaxing for me >.<

avazula

8:02 AM

@Rainbacon that's so cool! Congrats :) Wishing you lots of lots and good things in life!

And good morning to everyone!

Noon

@dhein I think you do have this particular knowledge, you just don't realize it (and you also might under-estimate how ignorante the reste of the population is.) For example, I had no idea before how deaf people can do phone calls. Or the fact that you must talk normaly if you want people to be able to read your lips

@avazula Good morning :)

avazula

@Noon Hey girl! Sorry I didn't answer you yet, I just started my computer at work and I slept 3 hours last night so I may not be in my best shape today ;)

Noon

@avazula Sending you lots of virtual hugs

avazula

The flat below mine is an Air Bnb disposal and the people who rent it are, how to say ... they don't seem to be aware of basic behavioral rules. Like, you don't scream and shout at 2:00AM. And when your neighbor comes and knock, you don't pretend not to be home. And when she insists to have a talk with you, the first thing to do is open the door to have that conversation, not just let her talk through it.

ThZ

Oh oh oh discussing so early! I'm usually catching flies in the afternoon

dhein

8:25 AM

@Noon "and you also might under-estimate how ignorante the reste of the population is." I totally agree. I figured that already a few times recently.

@avazula Huh, how that comes? Are you ok? Well good morning first :)

@avazula Ah.... Irnoically I had a quite similliar situation last night. except that it was.... well that artisians on construction ar in 4 or 5 rooms of the pension I am in and.... theese guys make so much noise... one of them going out for smoking every few minutes and all of them smashing the doors.... and at 11 pm just when I made it to start sleeping you heard a bed being smashed against the heating isntallation in a quite distinct rythm....

I am hoping so much they are gone again after this week...

only difference, I am not brave enough to confront all of them with it that they are quite disturbing >.<

Mithrandir

8:47 AM

@avazula Tourists. Can't live with them, can't live without them...

IPS Comment Bot

8:58 AM

Why don’t you just tell her directly that you don’t want to have babies right now and that you don’t appreciate all the baby jokes? I feel that you have so much suspicions about her that no matter what she tells you or does you won’t believe in it. The lack of trust will drive your relationship to a dead end. So don’t focus on finding out her intent, focus on communicating clearly and creating trust. — Storm 1 min ago

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic", "experimental-aic(@scohe001)"]

avazula

9:15 AM

Eeeek! I can't retract a delete vote of mine ... I don't think I wasn't able to do so before. Is it my memory playing tricks on me or is this a bug?

Mithrandir

@avazula I don't think you can retract delete votes.

avazula

Oh no :(

Mithrandir

You can retract close votes, but AFAIK reopen, delete, and undelete are un-retractable.

avazula

I'm gonna search Meta.SE and see if this was asked as a feature request

Thank you for letting me know @Mith :)

Well, it was requested in 2013 but was never implemented, people thought it was too dangerous (for you can't cast a vote on the post anymore after that)

Noon

10:24 AM

You know what we did yesterday when we give compliments to each other? I suggest doing that at my work and my chiefs think it's an excellent idea! But now they want me to present it to everyone else and, OMG, this is stressful! < go hide somewhere >

avazula

10:36 AM

@Noon D: but that's a good idea all in all :)

Noon

@avazula Yeah, it's just too bad that the idea of speaking in public makes me want to hide in a small closet ^^'

dhein

11:29 AM

@Noon Maybe this might help you in getting an idea how to present that: At SAP we have a system for that. It is called "appreciate". You can use it to send someone an appreciate notification with a personal message in one of 5 different categorize, which represent the companys culture. And also you can nominate someone for an appreciate award, which is connected with an monetary reward if its approved by management.

Not that I want to advertise the system, but maybe this gives you some inspiration for your presentation.

I really want to make that meta post I talked about a few days ago.... But I just can't... its so... sdgjksdfgdfgmdf... meh >.>

Dunno... I am just getting overwhelmed when trying to start considering how to phrase it....

Noon

@dhein That sounds like a nice system, thanks for the idea (actualy, I came up with an even better system IMO, so I won't use it, but thank you any way :) ). However, the part that stress me the most is the "speak in public" aspect. Three years ago, I was good at speaking in public, but then life happen and now it terrify me. I just hope it will go well (but I don't have a date for the presentation yet)

@dhein Yeah, phrasing things can be hard. I have that everytime I want to leave a comment under a bad question/anwser. Sometimes I'm considering just dropping it in chat and ask you people to leave a comment because "this answer doesn't follow X guidline"

dhein

11:59 AM

@Noon got that. But I was hoping more ifnormations might give you more confidence in waht you say. So.... WHOSA be stronk :*

@Noon Yeh, but I think there is more behind it, as I can't even really explain why I am getting overwhelmed. And usually I dont with such things.

IPS Comment Bot

This is really interesting :DON'T ask "are you still" or "do you still" anything. As I would ask those questions to show I had been thinking about you — WendyG 1 min ago

#20653 WendyG (2457 rep) | A: How can I avoid asking leading question when inquiring for someone well being? (score: 4) | posted 12 hours ago by Kate Gregory (29384 rep) | Toxicity 0.32121104 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

Mithrandir

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

Mithrandir

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

avazula

12:12 PM

Well that's nice from them :)

Hopefully it'll be better tonight

IPS Comment Bot

Hi HansJanssen. This is a good advice and lifehack, but I think IPS requires the use of a interperonal skill. In this case, it might be useful to explain how, after using your hack, OP can deal with their roommate / tell them. — OldPadawan 31 secs ago

#20654 OldPadawan (14549 rep) | A: Non-tech savy roommate thinks I hacked into his computer because when he scans wifi it shows my printer connected (score: -1) | posted 28 minutes ago by Hans Janssen (2945 rep) | Toxicity 0.07514789 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["chatty-no-doubt(@Noon)", "chatty"]

Noon

12:28 PM

@IPSCommentBot fp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught incorrectly (fp) Currently marked 0tps/1fps

Noon

@avazula I hope for you that it will be :)

avazula

@Noon Now I feel bad, I feel like I'm the bad guy the last thing I wanted is for them to feel bad... (paradoxal, heh? I know...)

Noon

@avazula Well, let me tell you, you didn't do anything wrong here, they are the one who did and apologizing was a nice gesture but doesn't make you the bad person (read this again and again until you don't feel bad anymore ^^)

@dhein Hum yeah, if you can't even explain it to yourself, putting it to words might be hard. On the other side, trying to put it to words might help you understand your feelings

dhein

@avazula No it isn't. I think this is actually contrary to common belive, due to our high empathy ;) We feel bad if we were pushing someone and they feel sorry about it, as you are currently just considering how you would have felt, if there was someone causing noise being out of your controll and then even someone started knocking your door to complain. The difference is, yesterday you werent aware that it was uncomfortable for them and now youd like to tell them it is ok, right? ;)

Just find your inner peace about it. It was inconvenient for you, so you had the right to try get it fixed. They couldn't fix it and express that they are sorry. So everything is fine, no need to feel bad :)

avazula

12:38 PM

@dhein Well ... not yet. I wanna see if it goes better tonight before telling them it's okay, otherwise I'm afraid they'll go one :p

You're right, guys, and I know you're right...

Noon

@avazula The difficult part is to convince the other part of your brain that it's true indeed :P

dhein

@avazula well dependend on the source of the noise (or probably independend of it) it might jsut happen again. But at least they know thats not proper behavior. my point simply is, you aren't the bad guy :)

avazula

@Noon exactly haha

Noon

@avazula How is your work doing by the way? Did you finish the "mise en prod" (putting to production?)

dhein

@Noon true. But having inspiration about my feelings is draining on me, especially as I figured yesterday soemtimes even to an extend I couldn't imagine. And I am recently so short on energy, that I really have to plan what to use it for. You are right in every aspect, tho.

avazula

12:43 PM

@Noon Nah, they're not ready yet to push in production ... So I'm doing some GitLab black magic in the meantime

Noon

@avazula I like black magic :p

@dhein Take care of you then :)

avazula

@Noon I don't like this one. I'm dealing with nested JSON files and I wish I could handle and manipulate those files in Bash, but I can't use a Linux VM since I don't have the credentials to access the needed JSON files from it .... eeeeek!

Otherwise I'd have written a simple egrep and basta!

Darn it windows, I hate you

Noon

@avazula Arf, good luck with your problem. And LET'S BURN WINDOWS!!!

avazula

@Noon ♥

Noon

@avazula <3

Introverted Meta Man.

1:04 PM

0

Q: difference between "bullying" and "harassment" tag

Here is the definition of bullying tag: When someone is hurt or frightened by someone who is bigger or more powerful, and is trying to force them to do something that they do not want to do. And here is the definition of the harassment tag: A often recurring behaviour that annoys or up...

dhein

1:15 PM

@Noon giving my best

avazula

@dhein but you're already the best :)

Noon

1:30 PM

Anyone here knows what blind people use to navigate through the internet? I want to test the accessibility of the new web site of my company

Tinkeringbell

@Noon screen readers, IIRC

Noon

Thanks :)

Tinkeringbell

@doppelgreener or @Mithrandir perhaps knows more about specific ones and where to get one, I think they wrote quite a few accessibility reports on MSE.

avazula

@Tinkeringbell yup

thence the need for alt texts when you embed medias :D

dhein

@avazula :3

doppelgreener

1:33 PM

@Noon Please use the NVDA screen reader (world-class, extremely popular, and free) with Firefox. (Not Chrome.)

Mithrandir

Screen readers, and keyboard navigation. Unplug your mouse and monitor for a real test

Noon

Thanks all!

comment-cleaning | NLN | interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/20645/21067

Rainbacon

2:03 PM

@avazula Thank you so much! And Good morning all!

Tinkeringbell

2:16 PM

@Rainbacon Slow reply: But good morning to you too!

Noon

2:38 PM

You now what people? I think I like testing your scope mouahahaha

Em C

@Noon aw geez, thank you :)) the things I was stressed about yesterday have gotten much better so this morning is looking up \o/

@Rainbacon good morning!

Rainbacon

@Noon my scope is pretty well tested. Here's a snippet from rainbacon.test.js

assert.equal(self, rainbacon);

Noon

@EmC Nice to hear! :)

@Rainbacon Do you mine that, if it was written by you, it must be on-topic? Because I have a really similar definition here but with "Noon" instead of "rainbacon" :p

Rainbacon

@noon I think we might have taken different meanings for the word scope

Also, I look forward to seeing your newest question get answered

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Why do people want eye contact when talking?

A lot of people think that having eye contact when talking to someone is important, but why is that? Why don't we look at the mouth or hands or the whole face or body instead? Why are we supposed to only look at the other one eyes? And what message are we supposed to send or receive when looking...

non-verbal-communication academic-research

Rainbacon

2:46 PM

You appear to be thinking of scope in the context of the scope of a stack exchange site. I was referring to scope in the computer science meaning of being the context in which a variable lives

Noon

@Rainbacon Oh, I was wondering what scope you were talking about, thank for the enlightening!

Rainbacon

substituting alternate meanings of a word is one of my favorite forms of humor

Noon

@Rainbacon Well, you were the one who told me "we don't have this kind of question", so if this question get answers, it will be thanks to you :D

@Rainbacon It's mine too! :D

Rainbacon

It's a good question. I have a few sporadic thoughts about it, but not enough to create an answer. And I certainly couldn't back up any answer I wrote about it.

My main thought is something about eye contact signaling attention. If you look at their hands, they might not know that you are looking at their hands. But if you make eye contact, then you are both looking at each other's eyes and I think that somehow creates a shared environment of paying attention to each other

Noon

@Rainbacon Yeah, the backing up part seems also tricky to me. But I'm surprised people think it's too broad, I mean, doesn't all interaction need/want both people to look at each other eyes? Why would they want a specific example when this happens so often?

Rainbacon

2:56 PM

I'm not sure. I would wonder if the same scrutiny would be applied to the same question if it wasn't asked by you.

Noon

@Rainbacon That's my thought too, but then I'm wondering: if it's the case, why would some people on the autism spectrum find it difficult to look someone in the eyes (and not on another part of the body)?

@Rainbacon I don't know, I was also wondering if people weren't more prompt to close because they don't see this kind of questions often? Or maybe it's both

Rainbacon

Making eye contact with someone requires interacting with them. Looking at any other part of their body does not. Interactions are uncomfortable, but not only that, eye contact feels like a different sort of interaction to me than say, just having a conversation. There's something about the type of interaction that eye contact is that makes me very uncomfortable

Noon

@Rainbacon So, it would mean that eyes can send and receive messages that mouth or hands can't? But what kind of messages would that be? I find it hard to think at anything that eyes would be able to send but that the rest of the body wouldn't

El'endia Starman

I'd say it's almost certainly hardwired biologically.

Rainbacon

It seems like for me the differentiator is that eye contact is by necessity a shared experience. I can't make eye contact with you if you aren't making it with me. I can, however, look at your hands or your mouth without you being engaged in an interaction with me. The shared nature of eye contact makes it feel more intimate to me.

That might be what makes it so uncomfortable. It feels very intimate, yet people that I've never even met try to do it.

Noon

3:10 PM

@Rainbacon That's interesting, thanks for sharing your thought with me :)

Em C

@Noon yeah, I think this is a good question at its core. I'd be very interested to read well-sourced answers. maybe to prevent the "too broad", you could add references of your own? like "many people say eye contact is important for face-to-face interactions, such as interviews (link to interview advice), meeting new people (another link), etc." to motivate the question and explain why you don't think it's about a specific type of interaction but just in general for face-to-face

ElizB

@dhein I am a deaf person, so you've been hanging out with a deaf person here. Deaf culture is associated to the community of deaf people in my area as well as many other areas around the world.

@Noon You are right, generally people learn about deaf culture by either doing their own research or meeting a deaf or hard of hearing person.

Noon

@EmC I added a note but without the examples as I don't want people to focus on a "side" aspect. But I might follow your advice if my question gets closed, thanks for the suggestion :)

ElizB

Good morning :) I'm all caught up :)

Late start this morning.... I really need to get started on my internship work but I'm heading out at 11:30 so only maybe an hour or something to get actual work done

I might just shift my internship hours after my work out, because i plan on being out only from 12 to 3, so I can do internship work after that

I think this weekend will be a big internship work catch up game

Rainbacon

Went to start up some music, but forgot to turn on my headphones, so it just started playing very loudly in my office. I think I'll go crawl in a hole and hide for a while...

Noon

3:22 PM

@ElizB Ahah, that sounds like what a lot of students do :p

motosubatsu

@Rainbacon been there done that! have wondered "why does it sound so quiet?" and upped the volume on the phone - only to discover that it only sounded quiet to me because I had my headphones on and the sound was blaring out of the phone's speaker

Noon

@Rainbacon Ahah, I'm always afraid this might happen to me too x)

Rainbacon

It was, very awkward. I wasn't listening to one of my usual playlists when I hit shuffle I got a somewhat embarrassing song

ElizB

@Noon yeeeahh... vacation brain got me and I like procrastinating...

@Rainbacon oh, geez... been there, done that mostly at home on my speakers. Usually @El'endiaStarman glances over to see what is up... :P

Noon

@ElizB Ahah, like I said, students :p

ElizB

3:32 PM

@Noon guilty as charged :P

my issue is that I start beating myself up for being slow but I know that I had a choppy sleeping pattern last night I didn't sleep very well and still feel sleepy

Noon

@ElizB Let's be honest, not student people do that too, it's just that they hide it better :P

ElizB

@Noon yeah, haha

Noon

@ElizB :/ Some days, getting anything done seems hopeless and you better do something else entirely instead of just sitting and not be happy about yourself. That's what I do anyway

dhein

3:54 PM

@ElizB Ah, ok :) Well in here there are generally no acustics from conversation or as sideeffect. But I once was on a lanparty hanging out withe the „deaf clan“ and playing boardgames while drinking. while any other hut made party and loud noise. with them it was just quiet and trying to learn communicating with them was really exciting.

at the end of that weekend I was already able to tell them a few short more or less understandable sentences. And this year I am attending that same party again, with one of the main reasons being meeting that dudes again :)

Rainbacon

@Noon I just went looking for some examples of open questions similar to yours. It seems that most (if not all) questions that ask "Why do people do X" have been closed as too broad

A few examples: one, two

Noon

@Rainbacon And yet, it's still listed as on-topic in the help center. Since my question as just been closed, I'm definitively going to do a meta question about that

Rainbacon

Sounds like a good idea. I have a few other links I can give you that might be useful in your meta

Here are one and two questions of that form that are currently still open

Noon

@Rainbacon Those have been closed as primarily opinion-based, I'm not sure they are comparable to my question

El'endia Starman

Well, I for one am hoping it gets reopened! I started working on an answer...

Noon

4:07 PM

@Rainbacon Thanks for the links :)

@El'endiaStarman Those last 4 days, I have asked 3 questions (including this one) and two of them were reopened after being closed. I'm confident enough this one will be re-opened too :) (And I can't way to read you answer!)

Rainbacon

When you make the meta, you should drop a comment on the question linking to the meta to mention that we are discussing the question's broadness or lack there of

Noon

I'll try to remember doing that, thanks :)

El'endia Starman

@Noon Good to hear! :) And yeah, the question really intrigued me and I had quite a bit of prior knowledge related to eye contact, so I was really interested in pulling all that together.

Rainbacon

@El'endiaStarman Ooh, I can't wait

ElizB

@Noon I can totally relate to that feeling.

@dhein That's really cool! Many people unfortunately don't want to hang out with them just because it's a bit more effort to communicate with them

Rainbacon

4:19 PM

@ElizB I've been wanting to learn ASL for a few years now. When I was a host at a restaurant in college I had a deaf customer come in, and if the other host working with me hadn't known ASL, it would have been hard for me to communicate with her. It made me realize that knowing ASL could be a really important skill if I ever came across another person who couldn't hear. Sadly I've never found the time or place to learn

Noon

@ElizB Not really related but, when reading lips, is it harder for you to understand people who have a (strong) accent?

ElizB

@Noon ooooh yes.... oi. or having beards or mustaches that cover the lips

or people who dont move their lips. or mutter

@Rainbacon You can learn online from Gallaudet

@Rainbacon gallaudet.edu/asl-connect

Rainbacon

@ElizB oh, thank you!

ElizB

There's both free content and paid courses

Rainbacon

Interesting, I'd never even thought of the effect of an accent on someone who was reading lips

ElizB

4:25 PM

@Rainbacon no problem. just 5 signs a week or something slow like that should help

Noon

@ElizB Alright, thanks ^^

ElizB

@Noon no problem :) Okay, gotta go sort silverware! I can explain later about that haha

Noon

@ElizB See you later!

El'endia Starman

@Rainbacon Yeah, I have a coworker who immigrated from Russia as a teenager and his lips and teeth stay closer together when he's speaking than a native English speaker.

Noon

Not sure this was my best meta post, but here it goes:

0

Q: Was my question really too-broad?

Today I asked this question: Why do people want eye contact when talking? It was closed as too broad and here are the explanations that I got in comments: When expressing emotions, you make eye contact to make it feel more genuine. When angry, you want to intimidate the other party. When lyi...

discussion specific-question

scohe001

4:31 PM

@Noon you're like Introverted Meta Man, but with a cooler avatar! :p

2

Noon

@scohe001 Ahah, I definitively agree about the cooler part :P

Rainbacon

@Noon, I'm working on an answer to your question, but I have to run home really quick over lunch, so it probably won't be posted until a bit later today

Noon

@Rainbacon No problem ^^ Also, if you are answering the closed question and not the meta one, there is definitively no rush ^^

Also, see you later! :)

Rainbacon

5:05 PM

The meta :)

dhein

5:26 PM

@ElizB Wow.... thats.... unfair >.>

Mithrandir

6:46 PM

→ 16 messages moved to Trash

user15026

@ElizB I was looking for this link the other day, thanks for sharing it again :D

Tinkeringbell

Evening all! I'm proud to present my co-worker's new habit: Using my private phone number (the one we exchanged because carpooling) to send me messages about work :/ Twice this week.

Who apps their co-worker at almost 8pm asking them to 'review a merge request so it can be tested tomorrow'? 0.o

Noon

@Tinkeringbell Wow, this sounds really like a nice person... Please tell me you didn't do what he asked for?

Tinkeringbell

@Noon Duh. I really nicely (read: Dutch bluntly) told him that I had other things to do tonight (read: absolutely nothing) and that the way to contact me for work is using work phone, work e-mail, work Skype, not private phone number, that's only for carpooling.

I also e-mailed the manager, just in case (this is the one co-worker where I'm basically reporting/documenting everything)

Which means I did have to get out my work laptop and do actual work stuff in my free time, ugh.

Noon

Ahah, nice! That definitively sounds like the right move :)

@Tinkeringbell This is less nice though :/

Tinkeringbell

7:00 PM

@Noon Yeah. I could've sewn in a lot of ends in the time it took to handle that :/ Ah well. If I hurry up, I might still get this done tonight

Noon

Sending you a lot of courage!

user15026

@Tinkeringbell nooooo :(

Tinkeringbell

@Ash Yes. The other one was about 'Your Skype says you're offline' :/

ElizB

@dhein I'm glad you think so. That means you're willing to put just a little more creative effort in to just chat with deaf folks

Tinkeringbell

(It did, because I had 2 hours of meeting, 30 minutes lunch, 2 hours of meeting)

ElizB

7:07 PM

@Ash no problem

@Tinkeringbell ughhhhhhhhh thats so frustrating. Sending positive thoughts and courage :)

Tinkeringbell

Thanks :) (@Noon too). I hope it's only two more weeks

If not, I'm switching jobs.

Rainbacon

So, at what point do we band together and form The Awkward Silence LLC, an augmented reality startup that gives people a HUD with tips about how to interact with others?

Tinkeringbell

We need to write manuals for each person first.

Rainbacon

Ooh, API documentation!

@Noon I posted my answer to your meta

user15026

@Tinkeringbell Here's hoping, because that sounds pretty awful :(

Tinkeringbell

7:19 PM

@Ash It's mainly small annoyances, if one seems fixed another pops up. Before this, it was merge requests with merge conflicts, and him saying it was my job to fix them. Before that, it was him saying I needed to fix stuff I didn't break. Luckily for those I've had some great help from the scrum master, and if he wants me to do 'extra' work now he has to go through her. Sadly, reviewing is already in my list of tasks. I am going to ask the scrum master what she thinks of this too, though.

What really helps is that now we're no longer a team of two, but I'm (technically) on another team. So I have other people to talk with during the day, which already helps a lot.

I'm still required to work with him though, across teams.

Rainbacon

It's nice that you have a really understanding scrum master. Every place I've ever worked (I do consulting so it's quite a few now) has had a culture that encourages everyone to put in the kind of work hours your annoying coworker does.

Tinkeringbell

I was in the office from 7am to 4pm, so they're not allowed to complain ;) Also, I was with another co-worker, so it's not like I'm making those hours up

Rainbacon

screams I wasn't even awak at 7am

Noon

@Rainbacon I just saw, I find your answer really good and convincing, I hope other people will feel the same too :D

Rainbacon

@Noon Thanks, unfortunately, it's a lot easier to convince someone who already agrees with you

Tinkeringbell

7:27 PM

@Rainbacon Usually, I'm awake at 6:45, on my bike at 7:05, and in a car at 7:30, to be at the office either 8 or 8:30 am

And that's 'relaxed' for me, as I no longer have to take the train :P

Noon

@Rainbacon Ahah, true :p But it was nicely phrased anyway :)

Rainbacon

I wake up at 7:30 so that I can actually get out of bed by 8 to be walking at 8:30 to make it in by 9

Tinkeringbell

I like getting home early

Rainbacon

Me too, which is why I don't take a break for lunch. I eat while I work

Tinkeringbell

I couldn't do that. The canteens at work have fresh bread for lunch. Nothing beats fresh bread and halfway melted chocolate sprinkles

Rainbacon

7:31 PM

You must not have ever had bacon then ;)

Tinkeringbell

Ohh. I did. But not on bread

With eggs. It's nice :)

Rainbacon

I like it in Mac & Cheese, on Pizza, by itself, etc...

Tinkeringbell

(not for breakfast though. Just the smell of it in the morning makes my stomach upset)

@Rainbacon Oh, it also works really nice in pancakes

And in salads

Rainbacon

Important point for clarification. Is bacon in The Netherlands the same as bacon in the United States? I know that bacon is something different in Canada and the UK than it is in the US

Tinkeringbell

Spek

Spek is over het algemeen varkensvlees, dat veel vet bevat. Spek zit bij het varken op de rug en op de buik. Rugspek bestaat voornamelijk uit vet; buikspek bevat meer vlees, het zogenaamde doorregen spek. == Soorten == bacon katenspek ontbijtspek Zeeuws spek gerookt spek (met zwoerd) == Uitdrukkingen == Spek wordt als een echte lekkernij beschouwd, zoals blijkt uit de uitdrukkingen: een spekkie voor zijn bekkie (iets lekkers) een spekkoper is iemand die goede zaken doet de kat op het spek binden is iemand aan een grote verleiding blootstellen Met 'n worst naor de spek smieten is een Ne...

Rainbacon

7:35 PM

That's what we have

scohe001

LOL I changed that link from nl.wikipedia... to en.wikipedia... thinking I'd just get the English version. Didn't work out too well

Spek

Hussain Yoosuf, better known by his stage name Spek, is a Canadian hip hop musician. He is best known for his singles "Smell the Coffee" and "I'm a Hippie". He is also a former member of Canadian hip hop pioneers, Dream Warriors and more recently known for his work as a music publisher. == Early career == Spek started rapping at the age of 14 in his hometown Montreal. He joined the hip hop group Dream Warriors shortly after the release of their hit songs "My Definition of a Boombastic Jazz Style" and "Wash Your Face in My Sink". At the age of 17, he signed a worldwide record contract with EMI and...

Rainbacon

HAHAHA

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Then what's the Canada/UK version?

Rainbacon

Back bacon

Back bacon is a cut of bacon that includes the pork loin from the back of the pig. It may also include a portion of the pork belly in the same cut. It is much leaner than side bacon made only from the pork belly. Back bacon is derived from the same cut used for pork chops. It is the most common cut of bacon used in British and Irish cuisine, where both smoked and unsmoked varieties are found. == "Canadian bacon" == "Canadian bacon" or "Canadian-style bacon" is the American name for a form of back bacon that is cured, smoked and fully cooked, trimmed into cylindrical medallions, and thickly sliced...

Tinkeringbell

Bacon (vlees)

Bacon bestaat uit stukken vlees die gesneden worden van de karbonadestrook van het varken, een strook vlees op de rug van het dier. Het vlees bevat een strook spek. Om bacon te verkrijgen wordt het vlees geconserveerd (gezouten, gedroogd en mogelijk ook gerookt). Het wordt gewoonlijk in dunne plakken gesneden en gebruikt als een ingrediënt in een recept, vanwege het vet en de smaak. In het Engels refereert het woord bacon aan elk soort spek, waardoor verwarring kan ontstaan. Bacon met zwoerd, dat wil zeggen met de huid er nog aan, is tegenwoordig minder gebruikelijk. Ook vindt men voorgekookte...

Apparently we get both :P

Rainbacon

7:39 PM

Basically, bacon can be made either from the meat of the pig's back or the meat of the belly. Canadian/UK bacon is typically made from the back and in the US we typically use the belly

Tinkeringbell

I really like the belly stuff better. It even looks more tasty :P

El'endia Starman

@Rainbacon Well, TIL!

Rainbacon

Agreed

@El'endiaStarman It was quite a surprise when I ordered bacon in the UK and was given something that looked like a piece of ham

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Usually... imagine those pieces stacked together like they were never cut, we put spices/seasoning on it and just cook it, and serve it as meat to go with a dinner.

El'endia Starman

@Rainbacon Jeez, why do those Brits have to use the wrong words for everything??

Rainbacon

7:41 PM

Ah, so you just have it as a block of meat instead of strips?

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Yep :)

Rainbacon

@El'endiaStarman I wouldn't say for everything. I do think that the work "queue" is much better than the word "line"

Tinkeringbell

Like this.

El'endia Starman

...TIL I'm a Brit. :P (I like/use queue quite a bit.)

(But maybe that's just for coding.)

Rainbacon

After all, we say "in line", but you can't be in a line. You can however, be in a queue. Although the British might say that one is on the queue (I can't remember), which is also wrong

@Tinkeringbell I can't eat it like that. The texture is wrong

Introverted Meta Man.

7:53 PM

2

Q: Was my question really too-broad?

Today I asked this question: Why do people want eye contact when talking? It was closed as too broad and here are the explanations that I got in comments: When expressing emotions, you make eye contact to make it feel more genuine. When angry, you want to intimidate the other party. When lyi...

discussion specific-question

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Ah. I really dislike it when there's pieces of bone in it, but for the rest... Add some sauce and it's even more perfect.

Rainbacon

@IntrovertedMetaMan. Nice of you to drop by 3 hours later

You put sauce on bacon?!?!?!?

Tinkeringbell

8:09 PM

@Rainbacon No, on karbonade!

Richard U

@Rainbacon bacon is the root cause of the long dark night of the soul for atheists. They just cannot reconcile simultaneously believing in no God, and explaining the existence of bacon.

Rory Alsop

8:21 PM

@Rainbacon bacon is a close second to chees in my rating scale of "food of the gods"

if only it could rain bacon

Rainbacon

@RoryAlsop If only, but I've long told people that my name has nothing to do with the weather ;)

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Rain man?

Rory Alsop

bacon man

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell In college I picked up the nickname Rainman. I then portmanteaued it with bacon

Tinkeringbell

Woah. I know enough about movies to guess nicknames right achievement unlocked

Rainbacon

8:25 PM

It's funny, my friends apparently figured out that I had autism before I did

That was my freshman year, I was diagnosed my senior year

They claimed the nickname was because I was good at mental math, but I suspect otherwise

Rainbacon

9:05 PM

Without the tl;dr at the top of it, does my answer to @Noon's meta read as me thinking that the question is too broad?

Richard U

@Rainbacon I don't want to have autism anymore. Everyone is joining the club and it's becoming popular. I don't want to be popular

Rainbacon

@RichardU sorry to ruin your club

Richard U

@Rainbacon I would never belong to a club that would lower itself by having me as a member. I have standards, you know.

Noon

@RichardU You have a very different perception of how autism is perceived than I do. In my country, I definitively won't be more popular by saying "I have autism"

Richard U

@Noon I was being more than a tad bit sarcastic.

In the USA, it's being over diagnosed though, which is not a good thing

Noon

9:11 PM

@Rainbacon I guess it can be read like that if someone only read half of it. But it was really clear for me that you though the definition of "too broad" was, in this case, "too narrow" (sorry for the bad pun :p )

Rainbacon

@Noon I very much appreciate your pun

Noon

@RichardU Maybe be careful with sarcasm next time (add an indicator), it's hard to recognize it online

Richard U

@Noon ah yes, Poe's law. gotcha

Noon

@Rainbacon Well, I'm glad I did it then :D

Richard U

@Noon if you are an incorrigible punster, we shouldn't incorrige you.

Noon

9:14 PM

@RichardU Haha :p

Richard U

@Noon it is getting better for people with autism though. I belonged to a group back about 15, maybe 20 years ago that had to go private because of all the people popping in and calling us retards, and various other things...

While I had no problems dealing with them, others were not quite so able to defend.

Me, I'm tough, old, and crazy. was even back then :D

It helps to frighten off the online bullies.

Noon

@RichardU :/ But it's true that it's getting better, I wouldn't know I was on the spectrum otherwise

@RichardU Are you saying that you were born old? :O

:p

Richard U

@Noon well, I was born at a very young age.

I was born two months premature and blue. I had all sorts of developmental problems because of it.

Also, born half-deaf and with dysgraphia.

And this was at a time when people with handicaps were treated very poorly.

Noon

@RichardU That definitively doesn't sound good, it must have been a tough time for your parents

Richard U

@Noon my mother was a teacher, so she spotted things the schools didn't. I was lucky.

Mithrandir

9:20 PM

@RichardU Funny. I was born ten weeks early, and I don't to the best of my knowledge have developmental problems because of it. I guess medical advancements in the intervening years will account for that?

Richard U

@Mithrandir yeah, I was born all the way back in the 1960's, and born blue. The survival rate back then was very low.

Noon

@RichardU Even if things are improving, there is still a lot of progress we have to do about not treating people with handicaps very poorly

Alex

@Mithrandir You're still blue though.

Richard U

@Noon Well, I'm of two minds on that. Yes, people should treat each other with respect, but no, it will never happen at 100%, so we should never respect it.

A few years ago, someone said to my face that my employer shouldn't be allowed to hire people like me, so...

there is that

My parents sent me for martial arts training in the hopes it would help keep me from getting my butt kicked every day.

Rainbacon

@RichardU Did it?

Noon

9:25 PM

@RichardU I get that you don't believe that this will happen, but I'm still young and I still believe that a truly better word is possible

Richard U

@Rainbacon yeah, it actually did. That plus learning to do impressions. Turned out the kids found it to be more amusing to hear me imitate voices than kick my butt.

@Noon A better world is always possible, a perfect one never. That's why we have locks on our doors, even in good neighborhoods.

but part of making a better world is making sure people aren't easy targets.

@Rainbacon another thing that helped was I got my growth spurt and went from being one of the smallest kids in the class to one of the biggest. I'm a gentle giant though.

Noon

@RichardU Or maybe having locks on doors is just part of not leaving in a better word ;) But I see we don't have the same opinion here and it's time for me to go to bed, so good night people! :)

Richard U

@Noon if we all had the same opinion, it would be a very boring world. Good night, godspeed.

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face;

the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,

may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Rainbacon

@RichardU I thought you were an atheist

Richard U

@Rainbacon I'm an atheist, but only on Christmas and Easter. The rest of the time.. well it doesn't really matter.

But I've decided that Pascal's wager has great merit, though I still hold the nietzschian affirmation close to my hear.

ElizB

9:59 PM

Hello all :) I'm back from sorting silverware :)

Rainbacon

10:14 PM

Is it well sorted now?

ElizB

i'll explain... Sue, my teacher of the deaf who worked with me and my sisters when we were very young is the wife of the CEO of Morgan Linen, a linen cleaning company. What happens is that they get linen and put it all together in a big wheelbarrow, and dump it on a conveyor belt. The workers take the linen and the silverware fall into a big bucket, which is brought to Sue once a week or so, and she sorts through it all and goes to restaurants to find who owns what brand/design of silverware

Rainbacon

That seems very tedious

ElizB

yep. Morgan Linen has over a thousand customers.

maybe 75% are restaurants

Rainbacon

cowers in fear

ElizB

and she only knows maybe 15% of these restaurants silverware they use

oh not to mention I just got a bunch of random miscellaneous kitchen items. A pitcher, dipping bowls, etc

Found a couple Japanese soup spoons

lots of dipping containers, basket for bread, fries, etc whatever I want in there, tongs, ice cream scoop, and a pitcher :) They all got thrown in with the linen for some reason.... ughhh

so frustrating for poor sue to sort through and no idea what to do with them

ElizB

11:02 PM

So... the silverware has to be sorted one by one into bags with names of restaurants that she knows uses that type/design of silverware, or sorted into bags that have the type, number, design written out on them

so she has a room in the basement dedicated to this and more is still coming in

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