The Awkward Silence

5:56 AM

@Tinkeringbell And this is actually the problematic point in my Opinion. Thats how I see it what we are currently doing. And the extrapolating in my opinion leaves too much leeway. There is one case with a response to it, seemingly some times getting intepreted one way and then again being at another point in time being interpreted in a different way. And thats actually something, that shouldn't be.

In my opinion thats discouraging, for any user who has a controversial opinion, possibly even made the effort to check if what he plans to write is ontopic/ok found confirmation makes his post, just for it getting closed/deleted because this time rules are layed in a different way. Thats at least how I am observing it from my point of view.

JAD

7:27 AM

Maaaaybe, this topic is better discussed on meta

Yeah maybe. But dunno :x

7:48 AM

@dhein Yep. I remember writing such questions (We closed this one, but this one is still open, why?) on meta. It works best with specific examples. I agree that one rule shouldn't be applied differently to different questions, so asking on meta should be good.

8:00 AM

→ 6 messages moved to Trash

Good morning everyone :)

8:16 AM

@avazula Hey you :)

@Tinkeringbell Yeh, quite a good fit, that's true. My problem is I am really bad in bringing things on point, so I am a bit scared of my writing style possibly outfocusing the actual topic :x But I might try composing a meta post on that later today. Busy right now, tho.

8:36 AM

@dhein Hey! How is it going today?

9:03 AM

@avazula: Generally I am quite fine I think. It is just the usual struggle with my selfesteem which I am trying to work on. Its just really hard to get out of a habit of generally valuing everyone else opinion over my own and striving for conformation, if thats what you did all life long. :x Its frustrating, but I think I am making progress on that matter :)

confirmation*

wbu?

9:51 AM

@dhein oh no :( if that helps, I think you're a great person :)

Oh, but you said you didn't want to rely on someone else's opinion, arf ... :/ then don't mind my last sentence :p

11:07 AM

@avazula Thank you:) But yeah, thats the difference between self confidence and selfesteem Id say. I am infact very selfconfident (so sorry if it sounds cocky, but I know I am great)

But despite being confident in what I do and who I am, I allways value my self by the confirmation of others. And if I dont get it I feel lost and insignificant

And thats what I try to tackle, especially since this makes me very vulnearable for being manipulated

11:48 AM

@dhein To be fair, lots of people depend on others to build selfesteem. I think you can indeed tell yourself that you're not bad, but unless other people see it too and acknowledge it, it's hard to 'feel' it. So don't feel too bad about it, though if it really is bad enough to make you easily manipulated, it is perhaps something you should work on ;)

@Tinkeringbell @dhein easily manipulated is a common trait in atypical people AFAIK, as they're often quite "naive" and bluntly honest and factual when they communicate

@avazula I think part of it is 'want to please'. I remember a story to illustrate that, but I have to go to a meeting now :P

Q: Is it rude to refuse a hairdresser because I want someone who's cut my hair before?

@Tinkeringbell I think so too, although there might be other things at stake here. Have fun! :)

Extroverted Main Man

0

I went to have my haircut, and the first hairdresser who became available was the one I know the least, and has only cut my hair once or twice before. For context, I've lived in the area all my life and usually gone to the same hairdresser here. I didn't protest when she called me up, and she di...

awkward-situations politeness united-kingdom

12:20 PM

@ExtrovertedMainMan or else just do like me, and (almost) never cut your hair :D

JAD

I'd say call ahead to make an appointment with a specific hairdresser, probably the easiest for them

@Tinkeringbell You have generally a point here but qhat ava says totaly is inline with what I observed so far. Nonetheless I think the lack in selfesteem has additional negative impact on this matter.

But yeah, I made an kinda complex agreement with my bailey. Where under the line we agreed on I am allowed to use her in specific ways to raise my selfesteem. And it seems to work. Its just progressing very slowly and I tempt to fall back sometimes in the bad moods

@JAD I sometimes feel like, when being there the first time " ehm.... can I get someone else? Your hairstyl looks so odd that I really prefered someone with a better feeling for styl"

And saying that would for sure be rude xD

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12:42 PM

Very thoughtful answer — Aquarius_Girl 48 secs ago

Matched regex(es) ["short-comment"]

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Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

my bailey -my xD was gonna write my best friend and then remembered that you know I am calling her bailey 🙈

@avazula btw, I asked you „what about you?“ ;P

1:12 PM

@Tinkeringbell And yeah it is to an extend that most people are even annoyed by my need of getting confirmation.

1:29 PM

@dhein Yeah, that's understandable to an extent. I've had to learn that too.. As a kid, I'd show my mom my drawings every other line, just to have her confirmation. Later on, it was asking her 'did I fold this right' for every different piece of laundry (t-shirt, sweater, sock, towel) every time I'd fold the laundry...

@dhein sorry, big day. I'm fine, thanks :)