The Awkward Silence

spiral succulent

12:13 AM

I only write text walls...

also maybe I should move this answer to another question

since now that I've written it all, it says what I want, but doesn't really apply to the question anymore

scohe001

Yea that's what I was about to comment

spiral succulent

I'm actually going to move it to interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1395/…

scohe001

That's not my downvote, and I think some of what you wrote is really great for this question, but a big chunk of it doesn't entirely fit

spiral succulent

yeah

I'll move it to a place I think is a better home for it

and then I'll write a real answer to your question

scohe001

Haha awesome. I don't want to discourage you after you put all that work into that answer. It's strong! It's just a different discussion

(Also quick tip...I find when i want to go "under construction" it's easier to delete the answer, edit, and then undelete ;) )

spiral succulent

12:30 AM

Yeah, I only planned to leave it like that for 10 minutes, I'll delete as part of that process in the future

interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/a/2622/12145 heres the migrated text wall

@Everyone I would like feedback on that^

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Complimenting as opposed to thanking

In general, when should you give a compliment to someone instead of thanking them? I'm thinking of an analogy to Stop Saying “Sorry” And Say “Thank You” Instead like 'Stop Saying “Thank You” And Say “Good Job” Instead'. I think the idea is that saying 'sorry' instead of 'thank you' implies some...

Introverted Meta Man.

-5

Q: Bringing on board new diamond moderators?

As many of you who spend time on the Meta site know, there are a lot of problems with the main site - lots of bad questions, low quality answers, and argumentative comments. Has there been some initial discussion of whether bringing on board a new diamond moderator could be helpful? If so, ho...

discussion answers comments asking-questions moderation

spiral succulent

@scohe001

I fixed it

scohe001

12:47 AM

+1, Looks good to me!

spiral succulent

cool :)

Extroverted Main Man

1:22 AM

0

Q: How to convince people I don't want to attend an event?

Note- I used the 'United-States' tag, but this takes place on the US-Canada border. TL;DR: There is an event that everyone is excited for but me, and I don't know how to convince people I don't want to go to it. Each member of my friend group wants me to attend for their own reasons, none of whi...

united-states boundaries saying-no

user15026

1:51 AM

@IntrovertedMetaMan. @D.Hutchinson If the site is struggling so much, adding more mods is not going to fix it

user15026

You need the community to step in/step up.

user15026

Mods aren't here to do all the hard work.

Catija

2:03 AM

... work... at all... who cares about "hard" :P

user15026

Well, they do some stuff :P

user15026

I am just very tired of people saying "well the mods need to do it"

user15026

no

user15026

A site thrives when it barely needs mods at all except when things slide south

user15026

or like...you need specific tooling that we have

Catija

2:07 AM

Yeah

A J

2:37 AM

> Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician

@IntrovertedMetaMan. umm... What!?!?

Catija

@AJ Better?

A J

@Catija after the change of title? Still not.

Catija

No, but it's less deceptive. :D

A J

@Catija lol

Mithrandir

6:19 AM

@IntrovertedMetaMan. The benefits in bringing on a new mod would be another person sharing the work and not wearing out the three we have so fast. Not all those things you mentioned.

Tinkeringbell

6:43 AM

@Mithrandir But for that, the three we have right now should be worn out

I don't think we're raising enough flags XD mine usually all get solved the same day

@sphennings I did, but spiral wanted to write that answer and they did great ;)

sphennings

@Tinkeringbell I was meaning that you got your explanation down to about a screenload, rather than the actual explanation itself. I like what they've done with their meta answer though.

user15026

@Tinkeringbell on a site this size, they should be solved that fast

user15026

:)

sphennings

Perhaps it's the person but it's taken longer than that to convey the concept effectively to people when I've tried to explain it in the past.

A J

Good Afternoon all!

Tinkeringbell

6:56 AM

@sphennings I have tried often before to get the realization across.. actually, I was flabbergasted last night at how well stuff was suddenly received

@Ash Yeah ;)

sphennings

It's nice to be working with other users to improve things rather than dealing with the most recent dude who has decided to double down when told to follow the rules.

Magisch

7:17 AM

morning

Tinkeringbell

Hello

A J

31 mins ago, by A J

Good Afternoon all!

Magisch

I think a new mod in another time zone could have value (less "dead time" where flags can't be handled) but it's really not that big of an issue rn

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch Yeah, I wouldn't hate one that's awake now, but it won't magically solve the site

Magisch

nothing will magically solve the site, the existing mods already do a fine job. What we need is more normal people to step up and help shape the site

JAD

7:24 AM

most, if not all, problems this site is struggling with can be solved by regular users, but there's not enough on one line to get it done

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch I'd say we first have to get the ones that are already doing stuff in line, before we ask new ones to step up...

Magisch

first of all we need to find out what that line is and who it is that's out of it

besides a few core things that's not a given

Tinkeringbell

True.

A J

agreed

Mithrandir

7:59 AM

I'd like a few more eyes on some posts I got disputed flags on last night. Anyone willing to point out something I may have missed?
https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/1929

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/1894/… interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9103/…

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/2970/… interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/2802/…

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/1804/… interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/10440/…

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/10729/… interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/10500/…

Magisch

8:17 AM

@Mithrandir LQP Review completed with "looks OK": interpersonal.stackexchange.com/review/low-quality-posts/8311

Mithrandir

Right... the question is why it was reviewed that way.

Tinkeringbell

I'd have said all of them are VLQ... But people apparently disagree. I've got 2 downvotes on this: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/11734/1599 while it's the only answer that gives a source and techniques for compromising instead of brainstorming :/

I've mentioned this before, but I'd like to see the whole brainstorming thing gone.

Sources, or experience (When I had to compromise, I had success with XYZ under circumstances ABC)

Magisch

Both of the reviewing users have exclusively reviewed "Looks OK" in lqp and "Reopen" in the reopen queue as well as "No action needed" in the first posts / LA queue

Tinkeringbell

siiiiiiigh

Have fun fighting that battle.

Magisch

You know what I'm not going to

Mods can action people if they feel they're not reviewing properly

A J

8:23 AM

if someone is not reviewing properly, there is nothing you can do except bring it to mod attention

Tinkeringbell

Yeah but is this 'improper' reviewing? We don't enforce back it up rules according to meta

We have nothing we can use against this

Magisch

Which is why I'm not getting into it

JAD

@Tinkeringbell roboreviewing is harmful

it's not even about specific cases

494

Q: The current review system encourages fake reviews; some people upvote everything rather than actually fixing problems

I went to a Late Answers review queue that had four items in it and started reviewing the first one by editing it into shape rather heavily. By the time I was done, someone else had reviewed the same post simply by upvoting it, so I only got a "Next" button, not an "I'm done" button. My edit st...

discussion review review-abuse community-standards review-suspension

Tinkeringbell

I'm all for removing the badges

Magisch

This problem is really rampant on SO and I've long since given up fighting it there either

JAD

8:30 AM

I'd argue the issue here should be a bit more manageable

Tinkeringbell

11 hours ago, by Catija

Having people agree "this is not OK as an answer" and getting the community to actually act on it... isn't the same thing. Meta usage is pretty small... so many reviewers don't know what rules we have for answers.

I think that needs fixing first

And I think we're even far off on 'not OK as an answer' so getting people to act on it isn't even something we should try yet

JAD

that doesn't meant you shouldn't try on acting on it

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Yeah, you know, I tried acting on it... very frustrating, so I took that break that keeps being recommended

JAD

yeah I know

Tinkeringbell

I'll be around to keep the chatroom clean, and that'll be it for a while

A J

8:48 AM

LQP

Magisch

@AJ Reviewed as "no action needed" in First Posts: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/review/first-posts/8319

A J

What?!?!

They shouldn't have.

This site has either robo-reviewers or those who don't know what to do.

or both.

JAD

@AJ that's what we've been discussing just now...

A J

Yeah, I noticed.

Magisch

I think the problem is mostly so few reviews are available that people jump on and instantly review any that come up

A J

8:51 AM

I usually check the queue at least 2 times a day.

@Magisch And there are fewer who check mod tools.

Tinkeringbell

I used to use is:a as a search term, and then sort by newest. New answers will pop up and the tab will give a notification. That way, I could track all new answers, not just first posts (some people go on answering sprees)...

Extroverted Main Man

1

Q: How to inform a friend who has anxiety that you don't dislike them

I have a friend who has depression and anxiety, they constantly think that when they do certain things that I suddenly dislike them or have developed a sudden hate even though I understand what they're going through. I can't seem to tell them that they aren't annoying me or getting on my nerves. ...

friends united-kingdom difficult-people

Tinkeringbell

The tools are slow... interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/10740/1599 is still pending deletion

I voted to delete that ages ago

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/11560/1599 another example of how bad reviewing can get on this site, this is actually a good one to show that there's not enough consensus

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/review/first-posts/8320 was upvoted without even asking what was already tried...

Sorry. I seem to be breaking my own promises here..

A J

Should we get Review Audits like SO, Maths etc.?

JAD

@AJ please no

Tinkeringbell

9:01 AM

Won't make a difference if there's no consensus on what should and shouldn't be done

People will mess up the review audits just as bad

JAD

@AJ take a look here please to see why audits are a bad idea: meta.stackoverflow.com/questions/tagged/…

Tinkeringbell

@Catija it isn't your time yet. Nothing is exploding. Go back to sleep :)

Catija

@Tinkeringbell Sorry. Brain won't shut up... have to write an email.

JAD

good morning :)

isn't it like 4am over there?

A J

@JAD I have seen them. But this is something we have to do to make users learn. It can be turned off anytime as far as I know.

Catija

9:05 AM

@JAD 4:05, yes

A J

Puzzling did so. They started in beginning and turned off later after requested by Rand'althor I guess.

Magisch

@AJ Problem is the amount of false reviews will seed a lot of bad audits

JAD

@AJ problem with audits is that you first need a very strict definition of what you are reviewing for

which is exactly the problem. We don't have that yet

Personally, I would prefer if meta activity was required to review, but that's not going to happen I don't think

Tinkeringbell

@Catija Well, I'm very glad my mind likes sleep better than emails ;)

@JAD Not just activity then... a post that was positively received by the community at the least..

There's people that have a knack for stupid ideas and putting them on meta, you wouldn't want those ideas in the queue, that'd fix exactly nothing

JAD

meta-awareness is a start

I'd rather have people that know of the consensus and disagree with them, than people that just do random things

the former you can engage with more easily than the latter

A J

9:10 AM

Let's create one. I am busy right now to dig up wrong reviews, though. But I can try.

JAD

let's create a what?

A J

a meta post

Tinkeringbell

On what?

A J

wrong reviews

if we don't want to get review audits, this is the best we can do.

Mithrandir

@Magisch I can go push several dozen posts in there ;)

Tinkeringbell

9:11 AM

That's not going over well, there's no guidelines for what's 'wrong' and 'right' yet and even then people are just going to be nasty and say 'well, it's the only way I can disagree with the pedantry' or something like that. Be warned!

A J

I have a history of posting meta posts that most people disagreed with but were important to make them aware.

JAD

I'd rather start with adressing roboreviewing that blaming people for wrong reviews

Mithrandir

This can probably be reopened now. interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/11787/…

JAD

wrong is subjective, roboreviewing is slightly more objective

already voted

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Meh, judging from the comments, the OP is still looking for words.

Sid

9:13 AM

I haven't slept for 2 days. What should I do?

Tinkeringbell

@Sid Find a hobby to fill the free time gap?

On a serious note, if you just can't sleep, go to a doctor

A J

@Sid Read your engineering books. ;)

Sid

@Tinkeringbell the hobby along with academics is what is eating away sleep time.

Tinkeringbell

@Sid okay, then you need to get priorities ;)

Sid

@Tinkeringbell I am fine. I don't need to go to a doctor

Tinkeringbell

9:16 AM

@Sid Yeah, I just wasn't sure if you were unable to sleep or just keeping yourself awake ;)

Sid

I feel like sleeping but I can't or else I will miss class. :/

Mithrandir

@AJ review audits on Puzzling.SE were an experiment to see how they'd work on a smaller site.

Tinkeringbell

@Sid Go to class, then go to sleep

A J

@Mithrandir But I read somewhere that they got some bad reviews in the beginning. That's why it was implemented.

Sid

@Tinkeringbell Got a chess match after that. It will probably go on till late night. After which, I have homework and other activities.

Tinkeringbell

9:19 AM

@Sid Pffft.... Do you have time for some powernaps?

Mithrandir

@Sid skip the game

Do the homework and go to sleep.

Tinkeringbell

to squeeze in between? They're not the healthies choice, but they'll make do. And make sure you get some time off soon

Mithrandir

Health is more important than chess.

Sid

@Mithrandir it's the semi finals. I am two matches away from winning...

Tinkeringbell

@Sid You'll lose the final if you don't get sleep before that

Sid

9:21 AM

@Tinkeringbell I don't do power naps. I always sleep way longer than I intend to if I take a nap. Maybe, I can try sleeping in class... But that's never a good idea.

Extroverted Main Man

2

Q: How to let someone know he hurt me without spreading negative feelings

I am living in a flat with 3 other persons, 2 females and 1 male. I am a 25 year old male too. I have some romantic feelings to one of the female flatmates, Alice, but we never spoke about it nor do I think she knows it. Alice was having a little party yesterday at which I did not attend, howev...

conflicts germany romance roommates

Extroverted Main Man

10:23 AM

0

Q: How to decline a polite but insincere request

I recently got a new job, and I don't talk with people besides what is needed for work, because I'm in such a life stage that I don't want to interact with strangers if I don't have to. My colleagues sometimes ask me to participate some free time activity. Usually I can make some excuse, like "...

awkward-situations

Tinkeringbell

10:35 AM

This looks fun, but is it actually suggesting improvements or asking clarification? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/11790/…

Cashbee

it can be interpreted as a improvement suggestion, as in "you don't have to focus on your own locale (FR), you can act on the assumption that it is considered flirting everywhere"

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: My fiancee is addicted to a pay-to-win game

My fiancee and I lived togheter for exactly 4 years as of today. She and I always loved video games, we both own several consoles (PS4, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Switch etc), we actually met online on one of the official communities of one of these consoles. She never exceeded with video games, for...

relationships games

Tinkeringbell

@Cashbee Meh... To me, it seems like people are being chatty. Which is why I flagged them

Cashbee

yes it became flirting after the second or third country

uiuh chatting not flirting xD

if the answer would be edited, all the comments could be removed

Tinkeringbell

I don't even think the answer needs to be edited.

We had the same thing with answers to the cashier question, and there we deleted comments that were complaining that 'in my culture, this would not be a serious issue' > I think the reverse goes too

E.g. some people were of the opinion that smalltalk should be perfectly acceptable, even though OP specifically mentioned that it wasn't in theirs...

You can upvote to agree

You can write your own answer if you have experience with the culture that shows otherwise..

Cashbee

10:46 AM

hm I have a bigger contingent of flags today. Do you get more flags when you raised helpful flags previously?

Tinkeringbell

Yep, to a max of 100

Magisch

@Cashbee Yes. You get 1 flag per day per 10 helpful all time flags

To a max of 100 a day for both comments and posts, seperately

Cashbee

cool

@Tinkeringbell but yes, I agree

Tinkeringbell

I need just 1 more post flag :P

Oh wait, wrong link

That was the post flag I raised this morning, not the one that had been pending for weeks, that one is apparently handled :}

Snow

I got a notification last night that a 50 vote answer of mine I made 6 months wasn't good enough for IPS. Thanks for informing me of this oversight. I have now deleted that answer in order to maintain the quality of the site.

Tinkeringbell

11:01 AM

@Snow It probably was good enough when you posted it, but expectations have risen. Thanks for helping, although it might have been even better if you'd taken time to improve instead of delete :)

Snow

It was a simple answer that doesn't really need more words to make it any more understandable. I have pretty much discontinued my participation here anyway.

Tinkeringbell

11:32 AM

Anyone here from a 'nordic' country? Is that tag specific enough??? I think culture can differ amongst the countries listed?

Why are we still working with location tags anyways...

JAD

11:45 AM

because cultural differences ARE important

answer quality is too low for that to be noticable though

Tinkeringbell

@JAD interpersonal.stackexchange.com/review/suggested-edits/8327 I was talking about this btw

Magisch

11:56 AM

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/11853/… is interesting

Tinkeringbell

Oh yay, another 'make her'...

A J

lol

@RoryAlsop Hello there! How is your new job going?

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How do I tell my mom that I should manage my savings?

Background I'm 18 and I live with my parents. I also have two younger sisters. Since I was younger until now nothing changed in terms of their parenting with me. I have to go to bed at X hours and many other things that takes out my autonomy. (it's kinda embarrasing have to end a conversation wi...

money parents

sphennings

@Tinkeringbell At least it has more reasonable expectations.

Tinkeringbell

@sphennings Oh?

It's still about influencing her behavior, instead of a problem with their approach

sphennings

12:09 PM

How can I make her reduce her time spend in the game.

As opposed to how can I make her stop playing entirely.

Tinkeringbell

Accidentally drop her device in the toilet

Sit on top of the phone and tell her you haven't seen it

See? It isn't an Interpersonal Skills problem

JAD

@ExtrovertedMainMan think this might be better suited to Parenting

Cashbee

Sit down with her and have an honest talk. use I-messages.

sphennings

@Tinkeringbell I'm trying to write a comment to explain that as it's written it isn't an IPS question. Point them to the meta discussion that happened last night and suggest that they edit their qestion.

Cashbee

See? It can be an interpersonal question

JAD

12:12 PM

@Cashbee Intervention time

sphennings

@Cashbee Like every other how can I talk about x question.

Cashbee

im not trying to make a point, i was just joking around ;)

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Meh. OP should first clarify why they think they are capable of handling their own money, if they just flunk around their age like they did in the post, it'll get them nowhere

I already asked them what their arguments were because we're not here to brainstorm up possible arguments per the help center (link included). It's getting conveniently ignored

JAD

not relevant. All I said was that seeing as it is a child-parent relation, parenting might be their best bet

Tinkeringbell

Maybe...

But you'd have to ask a mod there to come over and take a look (or one of their higher rep users). They know what they'd be expecting from such a question and tell us if we're planning on advising to migrate crap

JAD

12:19 PM

eh, it's not off-topic here, so I see no real reason to actively migrate it

sphennings

It should be closed until it's actually asking more of a question than "How can I say x"?

Saying X isn't an interpersonal skill.

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell But OP is looking for an interpersonal way to do thaT

sides, I'm interested in the addictive effects of mobile games because I know some of the science behind it

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch Hold her at gunpoint while you make her drop the device in the toilet?

JAD

@Tinkeringbell arguably not IPS

sphennings

@Tinkeringbell Do you have a solution that doesn't deprive their fiancee of their phone?

Magisch

12:22 PM

@Tinkeringbell I mean ... I guess

Tinkeringbell

That'll be my standard answer for 'how do I make this person do something'... use a gun and if that doesn't work, you can't

JAD

@sphennings sure, remove internet access

Tinkeringbell

@sphennings Drop the router in the toilet

Burn the house down

sphennings

@Tinkeringbell LOL

JAD

kill the fiancee

gets rid of the addiction as well

Magisch

12:23 PM

nefarious magisch mode convince her to sign up for a restrictive data plan with minimum contract duration of 5+ years. Then "accidentally" break the wifi at home

sphennings

Might I suggest first closing the question and getting the OP to edit it?

Tinkeringbell

You might. But I'm just here to monitor the chatroom ;)

sphennings

Do we have a good close reason for "how can I say x?" questions.

Tinkeringbell

@sphennings No, just vtc as off-topic with a link to the help center?

Tinkeringbell

2:10 PM

→ 1 message moved to trash

Richard U

slow day....

Rainbacon

@RichardU I've found that this time of day is usually pretty slow in here

Extroverted Main Man

2:28 PM

0

Q: How to check the veracity of a rumor about a relationship?

A while ago, someone told me a rumour that stated that "either I wanted a relationship with a girl or she wanted a relationship with me". We were kind of close with that girl, I was not against a relationship but she did not know this and she might have been interested in me. We were part of gro...

relationships online-interaction

Tinkeringbell

@ExtrovertedMainMan Is there a detective.se?

A J

> The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.

Em C

@AJ heh, I should remember that one for my dad's birthday card this year ;)

A J

Lol

> I used to wonder why Frisbees looked bigger the closer it came... Then it hit me!

Magisch

@Catija one good example where early mod intervention can make a difference would be the case of the guy who called us a SJW cesspool

Tinkeringbell

2:33 PM

> Ever tried getting rid of a boomerang? I keep trying to throw mine away, to no avail

JAD

@Tinkeringbell this might apply for some detective work: genealogy.stackexchange.com

@Magisch is that still up?

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Oh yeah, definitely! Make sure you aren't family first, that'll prevent birth defects XD

HDE 226868

@Magisch That was in chat, though - and any mod/user-with-enough-rep can deal with that (and it was originally on another site, not IPS).

Magisch

@HDE226868 No I mean with the experience that made him write that

On TWP they do this a lot

JAD

@Tinkeringbell since when has that stopped people?

Magisch

2:36 PM

By being really quick on moving comments to chat and locking them down early on questions where you just know trouble is brewing

Tinkeringbell

I think it would be nice, but it would be one of those golden requirements they warn about in programming. Yes, it will have it's perks... I'd have liked it if there would have been a mod online when I last noticed someone being very abrasive on meta... If only it were because we can't make other people not react

HDE 226868

@Magisch Okay . . . but how often does that happen?

And, again, we don't want the community to stay so reliant on us.

Magisch

@HDE226868 Not that often. But when it happens we end up several meta posts and a futile chat discussion deep and someone badmouthing us to others

Tinkeringbell

It'll end up in the chatroom with a request for everyone to keep out of it, which often has the negative side-effect of giving things more credibility and attention than it deserves...

Magisch

@HDE226868 The community will always rely on the mods to do things only mods can

JAD

2:38 PM

@HDE226868 when it comes to moderating comments, there's not much we can do

Magisch

Thats what they're for. Users moderate content, Moderators moderate content and users

Catija

@Magisch Which is my point. Disengagement. Stop the argument by refusing to participate.

HDE 226868

@Magisch Eh, I think y'all do actually rely on us for a lot more than just mod-only things.

Magisch

@Catija This works for me but not for anyone else who may think of starting an argument

@HDE226868 For example?

Catija

@JAD have you not read my answer? Three flags on a comment removes it. Fewer if it has a word the system flags as abusive.

Magisch

2:39 PM

You can't expect everyone to back off. People hardly read meta, when things get interesting and controversial you can book on an argument starting

JAD

@Catija which gets progressively harder once the comments get upvotes

Magisch

As I said though, it's not terribly important

But could help in getting this on the right track. Right now we're flailing a bit between how members action things and how they're supposed to work. It feels like a lot of people want this to be anydramaandjuicystories.stackexchange

I thought I was gonna bring it up again since the occasion arose in the meta post, but I'll leave it at that. Y'all know what you're doing

Catija

How does a mod fix that? I closed a really crappy question and it was almost immediately reopened and it now has +40 score.

Magisch

I'm not sure

I think on TWP they just outright delete those

But that would be delegating off tasks to a mod that the community should fulfill

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch the community can only immediately delete stuff if it's heavily downvoted... which isn't happening here either..

Magisch

2:45 PM

The problem is we're fighting windmills going up against the HNQ bait

And from what Shog said we can't let this site turn into that lest it be closed

A J

@Tinkeringbell old joke. :P

Tinkeringbell

And then there's the people that don't like nitpicking, and just want to say 'oh, you poor thing, here's my brainstorm that'll magically fix your life'....

Extroverted Main Man

2

Q: How to tell to an overweight person that the climb will be to hard?

Really hard to find a suitable title, if you find a better one, don't hesitate to edit. I don't want to be mean or anything and I don't want to go "Fat shaming" or things like that. Also, I'm not english native speaker so maybe excuse some terms I may use wrongly. Context With my SO and a coupl...

friends politeness rudeness approach

Magisch

As I said, I'm not going to harp on about it, I know it's a sore spot

HDE 226868

@Magisch Getting asked to weigh in on a meta post even when it's not directly relevant to moderation, for instance. Or, in the present case, essentially being told that question quality issues are our fault.

Em C

2:47 PM

@ExtrovertedMainMan geez, how do people write answers < 10 mins after the question is posted o:

Tinkeringbell

@HDE226868 Well, in those cases you know who that's coming from... I think you should take that into account as well and don't compare me (and maybe others) to those people

Magisch

@HDE226868 I think y'all need to get aligned what role you need to take in the quality process. I think I remember mods working more in that direction on TWP

Tinkeringbell

@EmC Blame the mod for setting a bad example :P

Em C

@Tinkeringbell lol, it's basically the same thing I was going to write though, I guess I am just slow

Tinkeringbell

Any examples of stuff where e.g. I rely to heavy on the mods?

Magisch

2:49 PM

Way I see it, we have only a very narrow window of what this site can be successful on SE, so we might need mod help to get to that

HDE 226868

@Tinkeringbell I'm not saying that encompasses everyone. Just more than just one or two people.

Magisch

I'm ... not sure.

JAD

It feels to me there is a bunch of people with some idea of what direction to take moderation (as a whole, not just by diamond mods) on this site and are actively trying to hash it out on meta. But the problem is twofold:

not enough users frequent meta to be up to date or participate for the policies in decided in meta to be effective.

On the other hand is there a constant supply of bad questions bringing in people from the HNQ, giving us ample examples of what is not working right now, but also so much traffic along with it that it is hard to fight against it.

This together creates a pretty demotivating environment for users to actually try and get something done

Tinkeringbell

@HDE226868 Yeah, and I'm saying I dislike the examples because they're either new users (sometimes on the autism spectrum as well), dissidents, or people that have shown a lack of understanding of how SE is supposed to work in the first place... I think THE community is trying whatever they can to keep things rolling, but it is either unappreciated or not working...

Magisch

And the flipside of all of it is that we can't simply go with the flow because CMs have made it very clear that this site either works as IPS or closes as not IPS

Tinkeringbell

2:52 PM

@Magisch Which is why I say it's time to write a few PSA's and have people stick with it. But I also have a feeling that were I to write them now, they'd be downvoted into oblivion

A J

@Tinkeringbell PSA?

JAD

@AJ public service announcement

A J

Gotcha

JAD

@Tinkeringbell well, at very least it needs to be something people can agree on

which immediately brings us to the problem that there is so little people active on meta

HDE 226868

@Tinkeringbell I'm not talking about problematic users; I'm talking about normal, helpful users.

A J

2:53 PM

Which is the hard part

@JAD and moderation.

Tinkeringbell

@HDE226868 Haven't seen those doing that... But I'll keep an eye out

JAD

@AJ moderation isn't really the issue

I think there is enough people moderating if only there were one a line with eachother

Tinkeringbell

I think the normal helpful users are doing their best. I see them leaving comments, closing questions, editing...

Posting on meta

Flagging

A J

Yup

JAD

the problem is that there is so much back and forth, that any attempt of moderation through the review queues is ineffective

Catija

2:55 PM

@Magisch I think the chance of the site closing is pretty low. If that's something that motivates you, fine. But I'd rather focus on fixing the site because I want it to be a better place than because there's a sword of Damocles hanging over my head.

A J

@JAD doesn't this site give easy rep and privileges with that rep to users who really lack knowledge about how to use them the best? Bad reviews are examples of it.

HDE 226868

^ That's also something to think about. This site is growing at an inordinately fast pace.

JAD

@Catija but how would you suggest fixing the site? Where to start? The community doesn't seem to be able to decide on whether a question is on-topic or not, whether it's to broad or not, whether an answer is an actual answer or not. There have been various attempts at creating policy on meta, but either they didn't get input or they did get input but it's not adhered to

IPS Comment Bot

A huge part of interpersonal skills is appropriately dealing with other people's shitty interpersonal skills. — coinbird 40 secs ago

#11732 coinbird (236 rep) | A: How to politely deflect questions about awkward scars? (score: 18) | posted 49 hours ago by baldPrussian (9009 rep)

HDE 226868

And keeping everyone on the same page is somewhere between extremely difficult and somewhat impossible.

IPS Comment Bot

2:59 PM

Matched regex(es) ["offensive"]

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