The Awkward Silence

2:26 PM

Wait, I'm confused. There's no official seating plan and this is just some fantasy one student drew up. What exactly is your reason for not just sitting where you've always sat? Are you scared of group pressure or something? Because the way this question is written, it seems like their new "plan" has no actual basis in rules and has no more weight than you telling everybody to sit in the back? — Theik 2 mins ago

#9933 Theik (147 rep) | Q: How to tell my classmates that I don't want to sit in the back row (score: 15) | posted 23 hours ago by Serafina Reisinger (137 rep) | edited 21 hours ago by Serafina Reisinger (137 rep) | Has magic comment

Anne Daunted

I just lost 55 rep after a user was removed

Tinkeringbell

@AnneDaunted Oh :/ That's not fun..

Anne Daunted

It's not so much the rep itself

Tinkeringbell

I have a -20..

Now I'm curious! :)

Anne Daunted

But it's quite a lot (for a single user)

so I guess they must have been an active user

Tinkeringbell

2:28 PM

@AnneDaunted That's true. I'm wondering who didn't notify us ;)

I mean, who didn't say in chat 'sorry guys, I'll be leaving' :)

I think I found it already ;) They changed their name to DeletedUser before leaving ;)

Anne Daunted

Yes, or "when will my account be deleted?"

Tinkeringbell

(You can see deleted posts right? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/9857/1599)

JAD

hah

take that, I lost 0 rep

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Ah well, me loosing rep means it'll just take longer to pass 13k and so it'll also take longer before I'll consider posting a bounty again :P

Anne Daunted

It also means that we are actually gaining rep

Mithrandir

2:31 PM

@JAD same here :P

Anne Daunted

I mean, you can't lose what you didn't get in the first place

:P

Tinkeringbell

@AnneDaunted Yeah! Go us! :D

JAD

@Tinkeringbell :o so stingy

@AnneDaunted well, yeah. I haven't posted much this year so far

Anne Daunted

You still have a few months left

I see the deleted post but don't remember their (former) username

Tinkeringbell

@AnneDaunted I think it was squidandwhimsy, they were pretty new to IPS... I also can't find another account ;)

Anne Daunted

2:36 PM

Thanks

I think I remember

TheTinyMan

I lost 10, I'm cool too! :o :o

Also, hiya peoples! :-)

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Hello :)

TheTinyMan

So this latest answer that I made is the highest voted, and accepted, answer to its question...but one of the comments on it has more upvotes than it does. xD

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan If it's no longer needed, flag it :P

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell * flags @Tinkeringbell *

Tinkeringbell

2:43 PM

I once had a comment with over a 100 upvotes, until Mith decided to run a script selecting all comments containg '+1' :P

Anne Daunted

0

Q: How to say no to people asking for charity without feeling bad about it?

Now don't get me wrong, I know the title of the question can feel a little awkward, but I am a person who chooses his "battles" very carefully, therefore helping those in need is something that I don't do often, that I surely ponder a lot, and (sorry if this may seem arrogant) I get to choose who...

helping

VTC as off topic

TheTinyMan

hahaha, these scripts! :-p

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell Hey, that's not a script! Those were all manual!

Tinkeringbell

@AnneDaunted Wasn't there a related one lately that got closed as a duplicate for the street vendor one?

Anne Daunted

I had the same thought

TheTinyMan

2:44 PM

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing too

Mithrandir

I have a deleted comment on this question that had over 50 upvotes.

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir The flags were, but you were definitely using something to dig them all up?

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell oh yeah, a data.SE query

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Yeah.. my comment would have been hidden for eternity for me to enjoy if you hadn't done that! :P

Mithrandir

I'm evil.

Phineas and Ferb - Evil For Extra Credit Song - Official Disney XD UK HD

►

TheTinyMan

2:52 PM

@Mithrandir Dude, my cuddle buddy just introduced me to that show and it's so good!

Mithrandir

:D

Aren't you a little old to be watching that show?

TheTinyMan

@Mithrandir I rarely follow Youtube links when at work...that involves, like, picking up my headphones, and putting them on

and that's just crazy talk

Mithrandir

(Heck, you could say I'm a little old to be watching it...)

TheTinyMan

@Mithrandir Ahhh. No such thing. One of my favorite shows is Steven Universe.

Also, My Little Pony and Adventure Time are good. :-)

Mithrandir

(I have a little bit of a reputation for not liking MLP that I'm not entirely sure how it originated.)

TheTinyMan

2:58 PM

@Mithrandir Probably because you're such a horrible person, flagging comments and all. ;-)

Mithrandir

I've never watched it so I don't actually have an opinion on it.

cc @Derpy

sphennings

@TheTinyMan That show is disturbing in the best ways.

TheTinyMan

@sphennings It's got a few moments of fridge horror, but what ways are you referring to?

Anne Daunted

No bronies around?

TheTinyMan

Or should we move elsewhere to discuss spoilers? OH ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN THE EPISODES RELEASED IN 2018 OR THE LATTER HALF OF 2017? BECAUSE STUFF GOT CRAZY!

@AnneDaunted /\

Mithrandir

3:00 PM

@TheTinyMan Fridge horror? Like... a tuna sandwich left alone for a few months?

sphennings

There's the episode where Steven wrestles with PTSD, and attacks a classmate.

TheTinyMan

@Mithrandir Haha, it's a TVTropes term. I'd link to it...but I'm not setting foot in there, I have work to get to.

@sphennings Oh, yeah, Mindful Education is actually IMO the single most important episode in the show.

It barely touches on mindfulness techniques but that is some shit that I didn't learn until therapy.

Mithrandir

I'll see y'all in a couple dozen hours

Anne Daunted

binge watching MLP, I guess

TheTinyMan

(also, Steven isn't who attacked the classmate, Connie is...I didn't take it as PTSD so much as, uh, excessive readiness. Mind you, Steven definitely suffers from PTSD.)

Mithrandir

3:02 PM

@AnneDaunted Ever seen my chat activity graph?

I'm afraid it reveals just how little I sleep.

chat.stackexchange.com/users/133031

Extroverted Main Man

-1

Q: How to say no to people asking for charity without feeling bad about it?

Now don't get me wrong, I know the title of the question can feel a little awkward, but I am a person who chooses his "battles" very carefully, therefore helping those in need is something that I don't do often, that I surely ponder a lot, and (sorry if this may seem arrogant) I get to choose who...

helping

sphennings

"Excessive readyness" is just what people with PTSD call PTSD when they're too afraid to admit it.

Anne Daunted

scary what you can find out about users

sphennings

Afraid is not exactly the right word.

Anne Daunted

The question got already its second answer

TheTinyMan

3:04 PM

@sphennings Connie may also, I don't know, but what I mean is that I think that she just let her muscle memory take over, I don't think she had an emotionally painful experience in that moment until the kid was hurt.

Just my take on it of course.

sphennings

By that point she's been fighting a lot.

PTSD isn't just an exposure to a single traumatic event. It can also be something that builds up over time.

Remember that most things psychological are on a spectrum. It's low grade but I think It's going to get worse before it gets better.

TheTinyMan

@sphennings I get that, but what I'm saying is that I don't think she was having a flash, I think she just acted before having a chance to entirely realize what that sensation was when the kid bumped her.

@sphennings Maybe...but Garnet's lesson was literally what my therapists have taught me to get over some things.

sphennings

@TheTinyMan True I don't think she was triggered

@TheTinyMan And they did it in song which was pretty badass.

TheTinyMan

@sphennings And, to be fair, her daily life has become a combat zone. There were monsters attacking her mom working in the hospital. So I don't even think it was unwise for her to be in such a high-strung mode while walking around school.

@sphennings That whole episode, man. The butterflies representing the 'bad thoughts.'

sphennings

I doubt it was a choice on her point. 12 year olds shouldn't be in combat situations.

TheTinyMan

3:08 PM

The only thing I didn't like was that it seemed to kind of encourage dependency. One of the first "hey, let's pull out of this thought" strategies was "hey, come over here, you're not alone"

@sphennings That's true.

sphennings

Knowing you're not alone is important.

TheTinyMan

@sphennings I guess that's true.

sphennings

There's a broad spectrum between isolation and dependency.

Anne Daunted

Wow, My Little Pony is too dark for me

TheTinyMan

@AnneDaunted We're talking about Steven Universe

@sphennings You're completely right...I'm not sure that I'm good at discerning that in my own life to be honest.

I'm not even sure that I ever fully appreciated that there was more than a fine line to be honest.

Anne Daunted

3:10 PM

Did I just embarrass myself?

TheTinyMan

@AnneDaunted Nah, this conversation is probably hard to follow :-)

sphennings

@AnneDaunted It's actually a really sweet show. The main character is an enthusiastic earnest preteen. It also has episodes where someone reconciles with their the man their lover chose to have a child with 12 years after her death through song.

TheTinyMan

@sphennings Sigh. The horrors of monogamy.

Anne Daunted

@sphennings That sounds quite touching

sphennings

I wouldn't call monogamy horrific.

TheTinyMan

3:13 PM

Although there is a polyamorous character in the show. ^.^

@sphennings Nah, that was a joke. Mostly. Partially. :-)

@AnneDaunted There are a whole, whole bunch of touching moments.

sphennings

The whole show is about blurring the lines that people have used to split people into categories.

I'd argue that the gems and Greg form an effective family despite their relations all being companionate not romantic.

TheTinyMan

@sphennings I would agree. Of course, Greg is an exemplary father, and Garnet is an exemplary mother, and Pearl is also a pretty good mother.

sphennings

@TheTinyMan I've heard some interesting reads of Greg as a borderline abusive father through incompetence. I can't say I completely disagree. Note how he doesn't live with Steven.

He't not a bad person but he would make a horrible single parent.

TheTinyMan

@sphennings He doesn't live with Steven, but the possibility of Steven moving back with him is mentioned at least once. Note how quickly he jumps up when Steven's age regresses, and how emotionally accessible he is.

@sphennings Ehhh. Maybe? So in what way are you suggesting that he's an incompetent parent?

(I'm not sure that I disagree because he's not the most competent in the world at ... most things, but as a parent figure he's impressed me)

sphennings

I didn't pick up on it on my own. I was watching it with a friend who didn't have the best home life and his take on Greg was a very different read to everyone else's I'd seen.

TheTinyMan

3:20 PM

I guess it is mentioned that Steven, at ... hey, isn't he 14? ... has never been to school, and that's a thing.

Hmm, that's fair.

sphennings

Those incompletencies over time have an effect on people. If your folks don't have enough money to pay the heating bill and burn scrap wood to keep warm during the winter that will affect things. Greg is very emotionally competent especially when compared to most father figures in media.

TheTinyMan

@sphennings Yeah, that makes sense. As an adult he's not exactly a role model.

Living out of his van, and if he wants to watch TV he goes to his storage unit. :-P

I would love to know how someone who almost always wears a tank top, even at work, also always has a farmer's tan. :-p

Anne Daunted

free flag: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9953/…

TheTinyMan

And speaking of things that I'd love to know. I don't understand how Lapis has ever come to forgive...anyone. Now there's some PTSD.

SmokeDetector

3:41 PM

[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Blacklisted user: How to deal with [male] friends mocking me about my life choices by Todd Anderson on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell)

Anne Daunted

Answer got deleted, user writes the same answer again: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/10022/2625

Tinkeringbell

3:58 PM

Help Mith improve the regex instead ;)

@JAD YAAAAAY! Elfstedentocht :P nu.nl/binnenland/5115713/…

Cascabel

wow I didn't realize all those comments were ending up in here...

Tinkeringbell

@Cascabel Yep.... We're still thinking whether that was a good idea or not ;)

Catija

4:17 PM

That's not really a regex setting, though... any comments posted after that "don't write answers in comments" comment get put in here automatically...

Please don’t write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by not having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don’t use them for other purposes. — Arwen Undómiel 19 hours ago

Same thing happened last night.

→ 13 messages moved to Trash

TheTinyMan

@Catija Yeah. Maybe the magic comment filter should only trip if there've been X comments over a short amount of time? But even that seems wrong and like it would produce a ton of false positives.

Catija

→ 4 messages moved to Trash

sphennings

I think this current iteration of the bot is to noisy to be useful. Perhaps it should be disabled while it's selection criteria are revised.

IPS Comment Bot

I won't notify you on a magic_comment

TheTinyMan

cheers

Catija

4:26 PM

FFS finally.

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Thank you, you're our hero! :P

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell :-D

Tinkeringbell

Shall I move some stuff to the trashcan now? ;)

Extroverted Main Man

-1

Q: How to deal with a huge misunderstanding and an angry ex-girlfriend?

A few weeks ago, my ex-girlfriend and I broke up, it was a peaceful ending, no tears, no fights, we just accepted that was better for us. We keep living in the same place, until i find another apartment to move. This week, she found some messages in my steam chat (without my permission to acces...

relationships family misunderstandings

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Yes, clearly it should look like I just did the right thing from the very beginning! ;-)

Tinkeringbell

4:30 PM

→ 29 messages moved to trash

@TheTinyMan I'm gonna leave Catija's message too... nice and confusing :P

hola

@AJ Hiya!

howza?

@AJ Going pretty well on my end, how about you? :-)

A J

4:47 PM

@TheTinyMan good here too

TheTinyMan

Slightly crushed because @sphennings opened my eyes to some of Steven Universe's dad's failings that I'd previously come to ignore. xD

A J

ohh

apaul

@TheTinyMan Aww you ok?

Anne Daunted

@TheTinyMan I feel you

TheTinyMan

@apaul gesticulates overdramatically I'm heartbroken! I shall never recover from my idol being knocked from his stage---err, his pedestal!

apaul

4:50 PM

@TheTinyMan lol I'm sure you'll survive ;)

Tinkeringbell

@apaul he already did he's still here

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell But slowly dying all the same...I'm sure I won't last another 90 years...

...the wound was that deep!

apaul

lights cigarette

Join the club

Tinkeringbell

@apaul you shouldn't smoke in public places! There's kids here sometimes too, think of them! :p

Catija

THIS IS A NO SMOKING AREA Please smoke somewhere else. :P

2

TheTinyMan

4:55 PM

#FunFreeZone
- @Catija

3

Tinkeringbell

I'm wondering why the smoke detector isn't going off?

Anne Daunted

:-)

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell He's not smoking right under it! The smoke disperses before it gets there!

Tinkeringbell

heads over to charcoal hq to file bug report

apaul

@Catija explosm.net/comics/4795

Catija

4:58 PM

Smoking is not fun!!!

Tinkeringbell

@Catija depends on what you're smoking :P

apaul

Buh dum tiss

Catija

Um... no?

Tinkeringbell

@Catija smoking salmon or other fish is pretty fun :)

Catija

Nope. I think they taste icky.

MetaEd

5:00 PM

@Tinkeringbell Tried it. Friendly advice: Don't inhale.

thesecretmaster

@Catija You figured it out?

TheTinyMan

@Catija Smoked sausage?

Catija

@thesecretmaster Eh... it took a bit of work... what's the bot's name?

We had to use an asterisk to get it to work because we don't know the name.

Anne Daunted

Ray Charles - Let's Go Get Stoned

►

Tinkeringbell

@AnneDaunted that's fun too... ;)

@MetaEd nah, that's for other occasions ;)

@Catija ah... I like smoked fish or sausages :)

TheTinyMan

5:03 PM

@Tinkeringbell Like when you're in a reasonably oxygen-rich environment! :o

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan laughing gas is good for inhaling too :P

thesecretmaster

@Catija ips

!!/alive ips

IPS Comment Bot

I'm alive and well :)

Catija

@thesecretmaster Ah. Yeah, we were trying to call it ipscommentbot

thesecretmaster

I could rename it

Anne Daunted

5:07 PM

What about Botsy or Botty?

TheTinyMan

@AnneDaunted Nagging Netsy

Catija

Didn't I already suggest a name the other day...

Cecelia

thesecretmaster

If y'all have a name, renaming it is just a line in a config file, so I can change it really easily.

Anne Daunted

a botiful name

Catija

Hmmm... that wasn't it... I can't find it in the transcript

Jan 29 at 19:03, by Catija

How about "Celia" the "Chatty Comment Catcher"?

thesecretmaster

5:12 PM

I could also give it multiple names

Anne Daunted

I like the name very much, but people may mistake it for an actual human being (like they do with me)

TheTinyMan

@AnneDaunted The thing is, none of us are the real human. You have to be. The rest of us are just illusions, put here specifically to fool your consciousness into thinking that "reality" exists.

Anne Daunted

@FigmentOfMyImagination Stop being so mean to me!

TheTinyMan

@AnneDaunted But then you wouldn't grow and become all that you're meant to be.

apaul

@TheTinyMan remind me to never trip around you...

Anne Daunted

5:19 PM

@FigmentOfMyImagination Do I have to save the world?

TheTinyMan

@apaul Or always call me if you plan to trip for fun, profit, and enlightenment! ;-)

@AnneDaunted You don't understand...you ARE the world.

Anne Daunted

@FigmentOfMyImagination So where shall I grow, if I'm everything?

TheTinyMan

@AnneDaunted It will all make sense once you are complete.

apaul

@TheTinyMan Eh, nope. I like my grip on reality right where it is, thank you very much.

Anne Daunted

@FigmentOfMyImagination You are confusing me. Or rather, i am confusing me.

TheTinyMan

5:22 PM

@AnneDaunted This is what happens when you open the curtains too wide. Don't worry - it won't happen often.

Anne Daunted

@FigmentOfMyImagination I will keep them closed from now on

TheTinyMan

@AnneDaunted One day, you will no longer need them - but until then, that is probably best.

Anne Daunted

The question about nominating answers for the contest seems to be gone

6

Q: Nominations for the best answer of the fourth quarter 2017

Because you asked so nicely... Introducing the first quarterly Best Answer Nominations Post (Belated) In an effort to reward answers that deserve additional attention, we're offering bounties for the top three answers of the quarter. The rules: Write an answer to this post with a link to t...

discussion quarterly-answer-awards

Catija

It's not gone, it's locked.

Anne Daunted

Thanks

I just noticed that it was missing and showing up nowhere

Catija

5:30 PM

interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions?sort=active

Shows up fine, just not on the active page.

Anne Daunted

I didn't know about that mechanism

Catija

Yeah, it's annoyed me for a while. :/

Anne Daunted

I'm too lazy and usually keep the settings just the way they are

Catija

It's just a matter of clicking on "questions" instead of the site logo.

Anne Daunted

Something that came to my mind recently

There were like two months with several sex-tagged questions and oftentimes pretty explicit content

But now we didn't have any for quite a while

Strange pattern

I guess the climax is over

2

Catija

5:37 PM

har har har

TheTinyMan

@AnneDaunted Some would argue that it was probably the work of one troll. Not sure though.

@AnneDaunted That was glorious xD

Anne Daunted

;-)

A J

@Catija Mahadev

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan or winterbash

TheTinyMan

@AnneDaunted Guess that we should work on playing up to it fore a while?

Tinkeringbell

5:38 PM

I blame the hats

Anne Daunted

Hats off!

Tinkeringbell

@AnneDaunted hahaha ;) I made a meta post suggesting next year to make a very clear upvote requirement for a 'post at 7pm' hat

Man... What a bunch of s...posts that one caused...

Anne Daunted

It was deleted?

Tinkeringbell

@AnneDaunted no ;)

It was an answer to the suggestions for 2018 post

On meta.se

Anne Daunted

8

A: Suggestions for Winter Bash 2018

The Hero of Time hat gave the impression by its description that it didn't have an upvote requirement attached to it. So, every hour I saw a boatload of crap posts. This actually made me be less active during Winterbash than I usually am. Make sure that there's an upvote requirement for each hat...

Tinkeringbell

5:45 PM

Not IPS meta ... Sorry, should have been more clear ;)

Yep, that's the one!

Extroverted Main Man

6:25 PM

0

Q: How do I effectively remediate a situation in which I personally insulted a friend out of anger?

I've been friends with three other men since high school. We're all in our mid twenties. Not all of us live in the same town we went to high school anymore and we use Discord to communicate and play games together almost daily. The three friends are Alex, Michael, and Luke. I had created and mana...

united-states online-interaction friend-groups anger

Anne Daunted

pretty long and pretty broad

My question attracts all kinds of speculation about why they acted the way they did, although that's not what it*s about.

Tinkeringbell

6:40 PM

@AnneDaunted I'm sorry... That's no fun to have to deal with

Anne Daunted

Thank you

At least this is

Fun.: We Are Young ft. Janelle Monáe [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

►

apaul

@AnneDaunted Fun song.

TheTinyMan

7:39 PM

Ooohhhh I can see deleted things now!

Man. There are some bad answers out there! :o

Loong

The Sixth Sense (1999) - "I see dead people."

►

apaul

@TheTinyMan Yuppp

Extroverted Main Man

8:32 PM

0

Q: How to deal with Phatic expressions

I am a guy, who never likes Phatic expressions. If any person spends time with me saying those colloquials, I get boredom quickly and wants a lot to leave from such place. I feel that I am in correct way because I am not liking unproductive conversation. But I am surrounded by such talks every...

friends socializing

Tinkeringbell

8:59 PM

@AnneDaunted I put a comment on it, maybe it works ;)

English Student

Are we ready to post the bounties for the quarterly awards (contest page now 'locked') @apaul?

apaul

9:18 PM

@EnglishStudent Did we even get three answers?

Ah, I guess we did...

Catija

One of them was technically late.

apaul

Meh, not thrilled with the responses, but whatever...

English Student

9:37 PM

I have posted a 300 point bounty for the (joint) 2nd place answer by PoloHoleSet @Catija and would like to post another 300 points for the technically late answer as well.

IPS Comment Bot

What a pointless edit. Why is "shit" considered a profanity while "crap" is not? It's like changing "damn" to "darn". Your meaning hasn't changed! If the meaning was offensive before then it still is. — Kapten-N 48 secs ago

#9930 Kapten-N (31 rep) | A: Apologizing to an old roommate (score: 3) | posted 31 hours ago by Kapten-N (31 rep) | edited 24 hours ago by AytAyt (130 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["offensive"]

@Catija I'm surprised. I've seen YOU edit out shit for crap before. (and many other mods) — AytAyt 45 secs ago

#9930 AytAyt (130 rep) | A: Apologizing to an old roommate (score: 3) | posted 31 hours ago by Kapten-N (31 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by Catija (9082 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["offensive"]

apaul

9:54 PM

Well that was crappy.

Catija

:/

apaul

@Catija Sometimes you gotta laugh, so you don't cry ;)

JAD

@IPSCommentBot well, he kind of has a point

sphennings

@Catija If I understand it correctly profanity can be acceptable if it's mentioned instead of used?

Catija

@sphennings If it's part of a quote, it's fine... to be completely honest, the only time we're really specifically against profanity is in titles.... but if it's just put in there for emphasis - it's non-essential - we will remove it, particularly if it makes your answer look like a sailor wrote it or it's being directed at either the OP, other answerers, or the subject/s of the question.

SE rules about it are more strict than that but on sites where it serves a purpose, we're allowed to make exceptions.

I think Jeff has an answer on MSE about it somewhere.

118

Q: Are expletives (cursing, swear words or vulgar language) allowed on SE sites?

Can I use salty, expletive-laden language on Stack Exchange sites, like Q*Bert? For more information, see "What kind of behavior is expected of users?" in the Help Center. Return to FAQ index

support faq etiquette profanity

sphennings

10:08 PM

Makes sense.

Introverted Meta Man.

10:45 PM

-1

Q: Is it ok to delete a question, revise it, and then repost?

What happens if I edit a question so that more than half its content is gone, then decide to delete the original question and post the new, shorter question? Is that bad to do? Why?

discussion

sphennings

Do we consider questions about how to interact with young children on topic or should we direct people to Parenting?

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to deal with unruly children that aren't yours?

I'm a 21 year old college student living with my girlfriend, her mother, and her mother's boyfriend. We've lived here, on and off, between my house and hers for the past 5 years. I don't consider this to be my house, but her room, at the very least is my only private space in the house. Recently...

boundaries saying-no children

Anne Daunted

@sphennings If the children are not their own, it's not about Parenting

55

Q: Can I correct other people's children in front of them?

I am a childless female 20-something who occasionally comes in to contact with other people's children. This happens anywhere really, at work, stores, museums, movie theatres, just around the neighborhood. And sometimes these children are being rude. I tend to be very forgiving about things like ...

strangers parents children

@Tinkeringbell Thank you.

sphennings

11:01 PM

@AnneDaunted I've seen questions on parenting asked by a child about their parents.

Personally as someone without kids if I had a question about interacting with kids I'd ask on parenting over IPS

I think it would be on topic for Parenting to quote "Parenting Stack Exchange is for parents, grandparents, nannies and others who care for children."

Catija

@sphennings Why would they be off topic here?

I mean... heck, this one was asked by one of the parenting mods:

29

Q: Is there a polite way to ask a kid to "move along"?

Another dog-related question, sorry. I read this question but I'm not sure it applies. My two Border Collies need/want a lot of exercise. One of the reasons I chose this neighborhood is that about 700 feet from my house is a mowed, 26 acre area (a water retention field when necessary) that no on...

etiquette children

sphennings

@Catija That's why I asked. I think this question could be answered on either site, but is probably a better fit for parenting.

Catija

@sphennings That's sort of irrelevant. If it's not off topic here, it stays here.

sphennings

Other exchanges handle overlap differently. Thanks for clarifying how things are done here.

Cascabel

sometimes it can be helpful to mention that the other site exists, just to inform the OP of their options, but as a general rule if it fits two places, it's the OP who gets to decide where it works best for them

(I'm saying this as a network-wide generalization, not an IPS-specific thing, even if there are sites that make exceptions.)

Catija

11:14 PM

@sphennings They shouldn't. I don't use every site on the network but, in general, if it's on topic somewhere, it stays there... some sites may make exceptions for if the OP requests it ... for example, from M&TV to SFF... But, generally, without that request from the OP, we don't migrate stuff unless it's off topic.

There are added complications with migrations that make them really difficult to do well... if the OP doesn't have an account there, for example, they may not follow their question to the new location... Closing a migrated question - for any reason - will reject the migration and send it back to the originating site... In general, we avoid migration unless it's necessary.

I've had mods ask me if a question would be on topic here for migration and, if it's not in really good shape already, I'll ask them to point the user here to ask the question directly on IPS rather than migrating it. This prevents questions from being rejected just because they're lacking detail. This is doubly true with users who have only 1 rep. Many of these users never return to their question, even if it gets answers. They often forget it exists.

sphennings

I wasn't trying to suggest that moderator action be taken. I was curious about how things were done on this site. Most of my SE experience comes from Worldbuilding which is a bit of a dumping ground. Technically questions about anything can be formulated so they are on topic for WB.

Catija

My second highest rep site is ELL... which is a dumping ground for ELU... at least part of why I don't spend much time there any more is that I'm sick of the migration path.

sphennings

I've seen a lot of cross exchange migration problems. There will be questions on Worldbuilding that are about writing, or physics, not building a fictional world but if they were asked on those exchanges they'd be dumped on us.

Catija

I haven't talked with HDE or Monica about that much... but I'm guessing Monica, at least, is conscientious about migrations between Writing and Worldbuilding.

sphennings

I'm pretty sure all the mods on WB try to be considerate about migrating questions.

As a regular user I try to point out that there are better places to ask certain questions but they need to remove the fantastic set dressings around the core of their question.

Cascabel

11:24 PM

That might not be evidence that other sites migrate things even though they're on-topic, it might be evidence that they're taking narrower views of on-topic, i.e. seeing questions that look too hypothetical as world-building rather than hard science.

Catija

I think the general mod consensus... of the mods I've seen talking about migration... is that it's ... not a great thing. Particularly as it stands. There needs to be a check on both ends... something that prevents the user feeling like a pool ball bouncing all over the place. For example, a question could be closed on the site it was posted while half of the migration process has occurred... users/mods on the receiving site vet the question and decide whether to accept it or not...

If not, it stays closed, if so, it gets migrated and future closing just treats it like a normal close on the site it's now on.

sphennings

@Cascabel Technically every question could be about building a fictional world. "In my world people do math like they do on Earth. What would they consider the result of 2 + 2?"

Cascabel

@sphennings Yeah, I know, but my point is that people are probably not thinking as deeply as you're attributing - they're probably saying, oh, this question is very hypothetical, it's world-building, and not thinking through to the point of what it'd take to turn it into purely a physics/chemistry/whatever question.

sphennings

It's technically about building a fictional world but really shouldn't be asked on WB. Mathematics wouldn't be too happy with that question either.

@Cascabel I'm fine if Space Exploration doesn't want to do hypotheticals.

Bryan Krause

I frequent Biology.SE, and we get a lot of questions there that could also fit on other stacks. They have some very specific rules there, like questions that can be reframed as purely a chemistry question are always off-topic and belong on Chemistry.SE, but we allow some level of health or neuro/psych question if it's about the underlying biology; same with bioinformatics if its about biology and not the process of doing bioinformatics

Cascabel

11:33 PM

In case it's unclear: this is just going back to what you started with, saying that some sites handle scope overlap differently. I'm simply saying that migrations to worldbuilding are probably often seen as outside the original site scope, rather than overlapping but better fits on worldbuilding.

Bryan Krause

But the overall rule is that if it fits the local stack's on-topic rules, it's on topic, regardless of whether it is also on-topic someplace else

sphennings

My original point was that I wanted to ask how things were done on this site before acting.

Bryan Krause

In my opinion the questions about children-interacting I've seen so far are at least as much about interacting with the parents - I mean, to paraphrase, "How can I tell a kid they're being a brat without upsetting their mother"

It's quite a bit different from parenting, because your reaction in those circumstances might not be anything like what an actual parent/primary caregiver would do in the circumstance

I also think this stack is likely to get a lot of readership from people who wouldn't really consider joining Parenting because they don't directly look after kids of their own

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