The Awkward Silence

@ArtOfCode kinda odd, I see fox at work fairly often, but never really associated a noise with them. Apparently they do call and have a variety of noises... Or so the Google tells me.

@apaul Aye. Mostly at night, when you want to sleep and are wondering why there's a screaming child outside... oh wait, just a fox.

1:08 AM

@ArtOfCode Ours tend to be quiet, but likely because there's a lot of people and foot traffic.

user15026

@ArtOfCode That would terrify me!

@Ash Instant dilemma... do I get out of bed and get cold to check, or do I put it down to a fox and miss a screaming child

That was a little dark, sorry bout that.

D.Hutchinson

geez ...

can you not, please?

welp o.o

user15026

1:17 AM

@ArtOfCode I remember there was a period of time when a cat outside would terrorize my cats and it was a lot of cat screaming sounds keeping me and my then-partner up at all hours :/ I suspect fox screaming is just as pleasant

@Ash sure sounds like it

soft evil laughter

IPS Comment Bot

1:46 AM

@hobbs Are you suggesting the art of persuasion is not part of interpersonal skills? If so, you should make a meta post on the topic and have it discussed to reach community consensus on the topic. — corsiKa 17 secs ago

#9798 corsiKa (169 rep) | Q: How can I convince my partner to accept my best friend instead of wanting to break up? (score: 56) | posted 3 days ago by Anon Ymous (286 rep) | edited 3 days ago by Anne Daunted (8276 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["you\\W(really)?(need\\Wto|should)"]

@IPSCommentBot That whole thing could use a comment purge.

@apaul already has been. 35 deleted.

Q: I need a method to prove that everyone hates me

2:22 AM

0

In my class, I want to prove that everyone hates me using a simple and effective technique, does anyone have this secret? I've already tried some and they did not work. Help is very appreciated.

work-environment

user15026

@ExtrovertedMainMan I don't think we can help there

Q: What to do when your best friend tells your secret?

2:38 AM

0

So there is this guy that I have a crush on, and I told my best friend about it. But later I found out that my crush started dating someone who happens to be friends with my best friend. Then a couple days after that my crush's girlfriend (we're not friends but she's one of the nicest girls in sc...

friends

Well, that was fun. The man just showed up at my job. Apparently some little darling dialed 911 on their cell phone and hung up.

:/

5:14 AM

@HDE226868 I try and understand what a mod thinks when they respond to flags. I know it's a tough job, and I respect the effort you ppl take. From my side, though, seeing a well-intentioned flag declined is disheartening, which is why I requested not to decline without checking. It was not an "accusation" or anything that heavy. Just a disappointed flagger's disappointment put in words.

SmokeDetector

6:22 AM

[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Manually reported answer: How do I gently reject an indecent proposal? by Jennifer Thomas on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell)

@SmokeDetector You can't escape from me!

6:38 AM

@SmokeDetector This post should have been locked and deleted as spam, not like a normal answer! @Catija @HDE226868 @John

7:13 AM

Free Flag 1: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9953/…

Free Flag 2: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/10030/…

Q: How to gently correct my non-American friends about the Super Bowl, without being rude?

10:17 AM

0

How can I gently correct my non-American friends about the Super Bowl, without being rude? I have noticed that several of them say to me in person - and also write on their Facebook posts - the "Super Ball". I feel I could risk coming off as condescending or impatient, so what is a tactful wa...

conversations language language-barriers

Q: Hard for me to take no for an answer, is it a normal behavior?

11:01 AM

0

It's more like psychological question, but since it is related to interpersonal skills I think it can be also asked here. When I've started to analyze my own personality, I've found that I have hard time taking no for an answer or take a failure, I also get frustrated when something is not going ...

conversations conflicts saying-no

D.Hutchinson

11:20 AM

All-4-One - I Swear

►

^ karaoke, anyone?

g'nite ...

IPS Comment Bot

What you should do with these feelings isn't something we can decide for you. Whether these are normal or not is probably primarily opinion based, at least it's a psychology question and not one about Interpersonal skills. If it does influence your interactions with other people, a better question might be focused on how to improve those interactions (e.g. how to explain this to people/how to hide these feelings maybe)...Right now, this reads most like an intrapersonal problem and those are off-topic here. — Tinkeringbell 25 secs ago

#10063 Tinkeringbell (12831 rep) | Q: Hard for me to take no for an answer, is it a normal behavior? (score: 0) | posted 38 minutes ago by Lera M (1 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["you\\W(really)?(need\\Wto|should)"]

Q: How to say "No" without any hesitation and uncomfortable?

11:54 AM

0

When my friends ask me for going out with them, but I don't want to go with them? Some time my colleagues asked me for doing extra work that i don't want to do. I can't say to any one "No", who can I say "No" to them with my hesitation and they will not get hurt?

saying-no

Uhmm... so we can either keep this general one (saying no is an Interpersonal skill I think) and close all future ones as duplicates of this...

Or we need more detail? :/

This is a difficult one!

JAD

@Tinkeringbell I wouldn't mind

12:11 PM

So many spam edit suggestions on a single post.

@Tinkeringbell Pretty sure that one's the very definition of too broad.

Q: Dealing with ex-girlfriend suicide threat

1:52 PM

0

I recently broke up with her, and it wasn't very peaceful. I am sure that she was somehow trying to cheat me. After a day of silent treatment (we don't see each other a lot, we chat via Internet), I told her that I can NOT bear the thought and we need to separate at once. Following my anger, I ...

relationships online-interaction suicide

2:24 PM

@ExtrovertedMainMan Looks like a "seek professional help" situation.

3:58 PM

Everyone sleeping in on the weekend?

@apaul I'm up early. At least early for me.

@sphennings I had to get up painfully early this morning to take my partner to work. Mainlining coffee to compensate.

I've just been waking up earlier recently. I don't like waking up an hour before my alarm.

Just seemed oddly silent for a room with 16 people in it.

I'm trying to be productive with my time. I'm building some shelves so less of my stuff sits on the floor.

I'm only checking in in passing.

4:03 PM

@sphennings Ya, I've been getting up earlier lately as well. Sleep schedule got all jacked up at the burn.

I'm blaming stress from a multitude of sources.

Can't seem to sleep much past sunrise when I'm camping, no matter how late I stay up.

@sphennings Anything you need/want to talk about?

I should probably make another stab at talking to a therapist. They've been of limited use in the past but that's probably because I've been framing the visits wrong. Thanks for asking.

@apaul It's almost dinner time... I shouted at my mom today and I'm still crocheting squared...

@sphennings I'm not a huge fan of talking to shrinks, but I've been making a go of it once again. Seems somewhat productive so far. It helped to find a shrink who had some experience with queer, poly, and gender issues.

@Tinkeringbell Shouted at your mom?

4:11 PM

@apaul Yeah well she started it, for what it's worth...

So, if I'm coming across as cranky today, it's probably that..

@Tinkeringbell Fair enough. Sometimes better out than in.

No one's got time for that on the weekend.

@Catija Time for what now?

Non-fun things.

@Catija Who's doing non-fun things?

has fun

Weee!

4:19 PM

Damn... Not even going to suppress fun? Must be a dire situation.

@Catija teh cuteness overload!

@Catija Meh.. I'm cranky, all I'm seeing is how sticky he will be afterwards :/

He's eating ice. No sticky!

Kool & The Gang - Celebration

@Catija woot!

►

IPS Comment Bot

4:39 PM

Besides everyone else's excellent suggestions, it's worth noting that children respond to someone they think likes them (warm) while also being firm (demanding). If this kid perceives you as not appreciating him in any way, he will have a much harder time respecting your needs and wishes. It is a question of discipline but it's also a question of negotiating the relationship. Most six-year-olds can't have an adult discussion but they can recognize other attempts to build bridges. — Euchris 34 secs ago

#10039 Euchris (101 rep) | Q: How to deal with unruly children that aren't yours? (score: 13) | posted 17 hours ago by Tyg13 (166 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

So, anyway...

Looks like it's going to be a good week.

user15026

My day started with tearing my pants as I got into work, but if that's the worst that happens today I'm okay with that

Eeek!

Q: How to talk to parents who undermine tutoring

0

I do some in-home tutoring, and this sometimes means working in a family space. However, as a tutor, I also have to create a professional setting that allows the kid to focus and recognize they're working, not just hanging out at their dining room table. Most parents get that and allow the space...

canada teachers

user15026

4:56 PM

@apaul Luckily it's on the inside of my thigh so if I walk careful it's not noticable

user15026

Although my leg will be cold when I walk home (currently -9C feels like -18C and projected to get colder as the day progresses)

@Ash If you're not going to stitch/save them later, super glue works in a pinch.

@Ash How on earth do you guys survive in such horrible conditions

Had a few blowouts playing soccer/football during lunch breaks back in the day. (Pro tip: take pants off before applying super glue)

user15026

@Sid This isn't even all that awful, the other week it was -19C feeling like -37C

user15026

5:02 PM

@apaul oooh, good idea. No idea if we have any here at work (so far I just like keep my legs together and kinda penguin waddle :P)

@Ash At least a penguin waddle fits the weather lol

user15026

(And I'm not even in the colder bits of Canada - in Longlac today it's -42 feels like -49)

user15026

@apaul Lol you have a very good point there

5:16 PM

@Ash We currently have −11 °C feeling like −18 °C.

And I just spent two hours in a parking lot.

user15026

@Loong :(

Just a FYI... Don't superglue cotton pants while wearing them.

It's going to be in the 60s F today...

I may have learned that lesson the hard way. While driving.

@Shog9 what happened?

5:18 PM

@Shog9 the burned everything teaches best, eh?

@AJ they got very toasty

And I thought texting while driving was bad...

@Shog9 Ohh.

Country road fortunately, so not too many people could've observed a frantic driver pulling over to hurriedly undress on the side of the road.

Texting while driving maybe risky, but smoking seriously kills

5:21 PM

@Shog9 ....wow.

@Shog9 that'd be embarrassing

It was

heather

i kinda want to grab some superglue and cotton now.

Well, at least they didn't actually ignite...

heather

in small quantities, obviously.

5:23 PM

I found your post after my son came to me with 2 burnt Q-tips. He used the Q-tips to apply super glue to something, they started to smoke and the ends were black. It would appear that cotton can catch on fire when super glue is applied. He did not put anything else on the Q-tips. — Kathy Mondazzi Jan 1 '17 at 5:33

heather

wow.

@Shog9 the real question is: why the heck were you gluing pants while driving?

Exothermic reactions are funny... Another classic mistake is tossing oily tags in the trash when finishing furniture - they usually won't ignite, but if you're unlucky...

@Mithrandir I was late for work

This was many many years ago now

Oily rags?

I was actually supergluing my fingers, but I spilled some of the glue

@Catija like, linseed oil

5:26 PM

@Shog9 Oh, that changes things.

Or other oil based finish

@Shog9 I can understand as a similar case happened with me once.

@Shog9 yeah... just clarifying tags/rags.

user15026

@Shog9 Noted. I think I will skip supergluing my jeans then

So... why exactly were you putting superglue on your fingers? Trying to make sure you didn't let go of the wheel?

5:27 PM

So had you cut a finger?

Always take pants off before glueing lol

user15026

Yeah, my guess was cut finger

They were cracked; it was winter and I worked with hot water all day at the time.

user15026

Ah, yes, I understand the superglue now

O_o I have never heard of supergluing cut/cracked fingers

5:28 PM

Nah. I had worse. I got super glue in my eyes once.

That sounds horrible

@AJ oops

@Mithrandir it's really quick and convenient

Superglue has been used (from what I've heard) for quite a while as field sutures.

I learned it from my grandmother, so... It's been around a while

5:30 PM

Huh. Well, if I tried that I'd probably end up having a severe allergic reaction, so...

@Catija Yup, learned the trick from my dad, who learned it in the service. It's not pretty or pleasant, but it works.

They do sell alternate formulas for folks who are allergic to the normal consumer stuff

The stuff they use in surgery is formulated to avoid common allergies

Int... I wonder what the allergens are.

Yeah - I've actually got some special band-aids for use, so I think I'll skip the glue :P. Interesting trivia though

@Catija most adhesives my entire family is allergic to

For most folks, it doesn't matter - and if you can glue up a gash quickly at home, it heals a lot better than going in to get it stitched

5:33 PM

@Shog9 Yep. I quickly washed them and didn't blink too much as it may risk gluing eyeballs to eyelids. Luckily it didn't affect them and I didn't have to run to the emergency room. But it was horrible one hour

Latex, then.

Which reminds me... I've got about a thousand empty toilet paper tubes sitting in the attic waiting for me to get back to gluing them... I have some strange hobbies.

@Mithrandir whatcha making?

@RoryAlsop there's photos on A&C somewhere.

Here crafts.stackexchange.com/questions/2618/…, although I'm using much less glue than shown there

Stapling them and then gluing them

user15026

5:37 PM

@Mithrandir I saw this in the chat switcher and thought we were still talking fingers

I don't get the cotton-superglue thing... I've superglued ends in my crochet and I'm pretty sure I used 100% cotton?

heh

Does it need to be a special kind of cotton?

@Catija very cool - @Mithrandir how do you stop the pyramid tipping forwards away from the wall

Oh, and what is it?

@RoryAlsop careful balancing - plus the top 18 are all glued to each other so that those don't come apart

@RoryAlsop a pyramid :P

5:39 PM

@Mithrandir well yes... I meant is it for anything? Like storing small items in? Like a printer's board?

user15026

My real question is "what will you do when it reaches the roof"

@Catija does there have to be a reason for everything? :P — Mithrandir Jan 13 '17 at 8:38

@Mithrandir yeah - but that slightly avoids the question

@Ash it's kinda disassembled at the moment, while parts of it are getting repaired + new layers being added

You have at least to do something with empty toilet paper tubes, don't you?

5:40 PM

Recycling?

@RoryAlsop that's kinda the point

@Tinkeringbell if you read the discussion I linked to at the start, it heats slightly but normally just sets. The danger is when there's enough surface area and other conditions are favorable to trigger enough of the reaction quickly enough to generate sufficient heat to both speed the reaction and ignite the medium.

Iow, you get unlucky

user15026

@Mithrandir fair enough, but once it's up, it will eventually hit the roof with sufficient tubes added. Are you then going to spread outward?

This week I built a "castle" out of almost 200 polyethylene blocks. Should be more than a ton.

An end of yarn would be unlikely to suffer; a spill on a ball of fuzzy yarn might not fair so well

5:43 PM

@Ash He could turn it into a 3D pyramid

user15026

@AnneDaunted that would work too!

I'm keeping it disassembled; it'll be assembled outside on the occasions that I put it together. It's kinda already higher than our ceilings...

@Mithrandir You might need ladders to assemble them, then

Q: What do we do with answers that are primarily opinion based?

@Shog9 Hmm.. I never was good at chemistry, but at least that helps me make sense of that answer there..

Introverted Meta Man.

0

Although answers on a website like IPS.SE will be opinion-based to some extent, I recently came across certain questions that are not themself primarily opinion based, but seem to have attracted a few answers that are primarily opinion based in terms of making assumptions about the motives of the...

discussion

5:44 PM

Thanks

@Mithrandir If you do not glue it together in the first place, it's even easier to keep it disassembled

Each row is an independent piece, ignoring the first 18 for the moment

I tried just stacking them but it didn't hold

empty toilet paper tube overflow?

That would be an accurate description.

Better than toilet Overflow.

5:48 PM

:-)

anybody already heading towards area 51?

Toilet overflow... for all the plumbing questions! :P

think that's covered on DIY.SE

Here's what the ones that are waiting for me to get to look like

@RoryAlsop I thought that sites with some overlap weren't a bad thing?

Your pyramid will become huge

5:53 PM

@Tinkeringbell overlap is fine... but all encompassing is not.

@AnneDaunted indeed

Disassembled rows:

I'm aware of at least one example of it but the more specific site came first... Woodworking and Arts & Crafts.

Coffee and Seasoned Advice as well, no?

@Mithrandir Will you paint it, too?

Also all the cryptocurrency sites

@AnneDaunted I'm considering it.

5:55 PM

Coffee and Booze are weird sites.

@Mithrandir that's a naming problem. You could argue the same is true with Cooking/coffee/alcohol.

Beer, Wine and Spirits – alcohol.stackexchange.com

1473

Beta Q&A site for alcoholic beverage aficionados and collectors

Currently in public beta.

"Cooking" doesn't necessarily say "beverages" in the same way "Bitcoin" doesn't imply "Monero" or "Ethereum"... site names do a lot more to affect scope than you might imagine.

That's why picking the right name is so complicated... to some degree it requires being able to see/guess the future.

In other words: the CMs should set up a fortune-telling booth? ;)

do names get changed afterwards, under special circumstances?

discussion featured site-name

Yes.

19

Q: This site is now Writing

In response to the recent discussion "Should we change our name?", we've made a subtle but crucial alteration to how this site presents itself: As a general practice, we long ago moved away from naming sites after their audience in favor of topic, so this is in keeping with the more modern app...

Q: When should we change the name to include fantasy?

6:02 PM

7

When should we change the name to include fantasy? I'm pretty sure that it's very much in, there are few dissenting votes from either the sci-fi or the fantasy community, but what day should we set for the target date? Also, I'm assuming the name will be just Science Fiction and Fantasy, if the...

discussion status-completed fantasy

Thanks

@AnneDaunted They've also recently changed cogsci to psychology.

Sounds sensible. They will probablyattract more people this way

Moderators.SE to CommunityBuilding.SE, etc

There was a request a long time ago to rename Bitcoin to Cryptocurrencies ... it was declined... now they have half a dozen different crypto sites.... and more in the pipeline and... who knows what they're going to do to solve the problem.

6:04 PM

:-)

perhaps merge them all one day

Merging them is extremely complicated... since all sites start numbering posts at 1, the post numbers will be identical in many cases... so they'd have to somehow manually renumber the posts before moving them... or something.

some kid of snowball effect?

There are other issues you wouldn't necessarily think of... each site has at least 3 mods... but when combined, you wouldn't need... 12-15 mods... so who steps down... how do you deal with different site cultures/communities... users who are upset about the sites being merged. SE cares a lot about the users ...

A real clusterf...

My general recommendation would be to just change the site name for bitcoin to either Cryptocurrences or Cryptocurrencies & Blockchain and leave the other existing sites alone. End all of the proposals for new sites and push them at (what is currently) Bitcoin, where the questions are already on topic anyway.

gist.github.com/catija/acf7c8172f86eaebf95a4b74c27688e0

6:13 PM

That sounds like a sensible solution

so that the problem doesn't become bigger and bigger

Yeah. Well, I don't make the choices :P The CMs, particularly Robert, are the ones who have to deal with it.

Since they are so keen on keeping Bitcoin, maybe "Bitcoin & other Cryptocurrencies" or something like that

The only thing I know is that they have more info than I do, so they'll probably make a better decision... I just hope they do it before long... there are several proposals getting very close to being completed.

Else the only hope is that all cryptocurrencies get banned everywhere

7:04 PM

Hi @Mithoron ;-)

Mithoron

@Loong Eh, seems rather "virtual crowd" ;)

@AnneDaunted I'm tracking 110 in current usage. Of which I think 3 have practical use cases for my employer currently. None of these 3 are bitcoin.

ola

7:19 PM

Ello

Missed you pal

So much happening here these days.

@Catija something I totally think so too. meta.stackexchange.com/q/301373/309993

@NVZ That question needs updating.

@Catija Yes, I wish someone expert in such currencies chimed in.

Hmmm... maybe I can repost my answer there.

I've been looking for a place for it.

Ah, glad to be of some help.

7:49 PM

@NVZ Posted.

@Catija wow, you wrote all that in under 10 mins?

@NVZ Did you see the gist I posted earlier?

2 hours ago, by Catija

https://gist.github.com/catija/acf7c8172f86eaebf95a4b74c27688e0

oh that..

lemme see

I dunno much about git hub so I probably didn't notice that.

I see it thown around in Charcoal often.

@Catija nicely written. upvoted.

@NVZ :D Thanks. :)

Q: I'm a bibimbap heretic - can I eat my food the way I want without coming off as disrespectful?

8:24 PM

-2

I enjoy bibimbap. In American Korean restaurants, bibimbap is typically served as a large bowl of rice with individual portions of each topping arranged over it, like so. The traditional way to eat it is to slather it in sauce, then thoroughly mix it all together, resulting in a fried rice-like...

eating korea

@ExtrovertedMainMan I really thought that was someone trying to be funny :) I never heard of bibimbap :P

A_S00

Sorry friends, it looks like this question needs some workshopping; I'm guessing I've missed out on some of the norms on this stack.

@A_S00 I'm reading it now ;) Don't worry, I think there's a good one in there somewhere :)

No worries, we're glad to help out.

user15026

Yeah, I think it can totally be worked into something

user15026

8:32 PM

(Also it has made me want to get Korean food on my way home from work tonight)

@A_S00 Feel free to pop in here...

A_S00

This is a genuine question - waiters have returned to correct my bibimbap eating on at least 3 occasions, and I find it embarrassing. I'm reluctant to just tell them, "no, I wanna eat it MY way" because I'm concerned that doing so would communicate a "screw you and your culture" attitude

Nah, you say "Thanks so much for the guidance, I've actually eaten this many times and I find I prefer it this way." :)

Which is a genuine worry I think... but I'm sorry, I don't eat much foreign foods let alone eat them out ;) So I can't really help.

Only time I had a waiter correct/help me I was eating the food wrong, and it got a lot easier after that (it was fish with grates)..

@Catija That's an answer :P

@Tinkeringbell I know but Ben just woke up from his nap and we've got fun stuff planned for the afternoon!

8:35 PM

@Catija Ugh, there goes your rep :P Enjoy your afternoon, I'm going to socialize a bit with my dad before he disappears for another week :P

@A_S00 I think the question can stay, although if you could edit in the "I'm reluctant to just tell them, "no, I wanna eat it MY way" because I'm concerned that doing so would communicate a "screw you and your culture" attitude" exactly as you just said it... It might be even better :)

Bye!

A_S00

Edited that concern into my first bullet point

8:49 PM

brb screen printing "Lord of Questionable Bibimbap Decisions" on tshirts

9:35 PM

It's quite quiet...

Eamonn Walker is cool, isn't he?

@AnneDaunted who?

I'm sorry, I don't know that person....

See apaul's video above

The actor who isn't Nic Cage

@AnneDaunted hahaha.. okay ;) I'm always really bad at actors and famous people.... It's where I fail when taking a general knowledge quiz..

What movie is that from?

possibly imdb.com/title/tt0399295/?ref_=ttfc_fc_tt

9:39 PM

@Ash. Update ^

@AnneDaunted ah... I haven't seen that movie ;)

that picture is beautiful

@AnneDaunted thank you :)

I'm making a blanket for mom, I hope to have it finished by mother's day

user15026

@Tinkeringbell Oh, I like this one

user15026

You had less of a wobbly edge issue this time!

@Ash yeah, after the first one I paid special attention to the long stitches

So this one needed less stretching to get to 22cm

9:43 PM

@AnneDaunted yup, that's the one.

user15026

@Tinkeringbell That's awesome

@Ash Yeah, I'm very happy with this one ...

I need more foam boards though.. I have almost 4 other squares finished to block... But I can only do one at a time and they take two days each!

user15026

Oh that is a lot of tiem

@Ash yeah.. that's what the instructions say though... So I'm not going to risk doing one each day..

I'm afraid they won't keep their shape as well if I did

user15026

Makes sense

user15026

9:54 PM

It just is rough when you only have the one board

Yeah.. but buying another when I don't know if I'll ever make anything else that needs blocking seems a bit frivolous too...

user15026

I can see that

Q: How to stop being angry when a friend tries to make you envious?

11:14 PM

0

He is a good guy but I noticed on numerous occasions that if I buy a thing he will try to buy something similar but a bit better. If I say I wanted to watch a movie, he will go and watch it with someone else and then tell me how good it was. It feels like he enjoys when people are envious or jeal...

friends anger

SmokeDetector

11:28 PM

[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Bad keyword with email in answer, pattern-matching email in answer: How do I tell a potential partner about my autism? by Jessica scott on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell)