The Awkward Silence

Tinkeringbell

4:00 PM

@AnneDaunted Yeah, I might write one about boys :P

@apaul Apparently not :(

Catija

@Tinkeringbell What were deleted?

Tinkeringbell

@Catija Valuable stuff :P

No, joking, spam :)

We had one user spam about 6 answers before the spam police caught em ;)

Anne Daunted

Was this Maxwell guy?

Tinkeringbell

@AnneDaunted Think the user name went something like that yeah

The Snark Knight

@Tinkeringbell did you get his silver hammer too?

Anne Daunted

4:04 PM

Just noticed that name when scrolling down

Tinkeringbell

@TheSnarkKnight huh?

The Snark Knight

@Tinkeringbell Maxwell's Silver Hammer

Tinkeringbell

@TheSnarkKnight ah... that was way before my time :P

The Snark Knight

@Tinkeringbell nothing quite like being an old fart with an eidetic memory

Magisch

@AnneDaunted almost like gender is a fault line in social interactions

who would have known

Anne Daunted

4:08 PM

It's hard out there for a man

3

Tinkeringbell

Why is this downvoted? As far as I can see, it does the best job at answering the question in the body: How to get that bathing suit out of the hallway... :/

Anne Daunted

@Tinkeringbell do you mean the answer that was just deleted (again)?

Tinkeringbell

@AnneDaunted Oh, it might help to share a link :P No, the one from AndreiROM: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/7590/1599

The Snark Knight

@AnneDaunted you're surprised that boys are having trouble with girls? I should introduce you to some of my exes. One of them could turn a man into a millionaire, but only if he started out as a billionaire

Anne Daunted

@TheSnarkKnight No, I'm not. It's just that there are so many questions on IPS. At least, that's the feeling I got. On the other hand, there are not nearly as many questions about girls having problems with boys.

The Snark Knight

4:20 PM

@AnneDaunted should we have a quota system then?

Anne Daunted

@Tinkeringbell I agree with you. That's probably the advice I would give the OP, too, to tackle the actual problem and not what the OP suspects it to be (whether he is right or wrong).

The Snark Knight

I just hope the poor sod doesn't end up getting the police called on him if she decides to flip the script

Anne Daunted

@TheSnarkKnight No, not necessary

Tinkeringbell

What? People call the police when asked to not litter their possessions in the hallway?

The Snark Knight

@Tinkeringbell it's sadly, not so uncommon, as it is known to be tactic used as a form of constructive eviction.

Anne Daunted

4:24 PM

but she is just a roommate, not the landlord, is she?

The Snark Knight

@AnneDaunted it doesn't matter. she calls the PD, they follow the Duluth model, and the man is removed.

All she has to do is say that she is in fear for her life and she gets a TRO (temp restraining order)

Mister Positive

@TheSnarkKnight Tact is key in this situation. Very dangerous for the male here.

TheTinyMan

I think that the fear isn't that the woman would react to being asked not to leave her possessions in the hallway, but that she'd react very badly to the realization that he isn't interested in her romantically. Crazy guys may get physically aggressive and imply (or express) physical threat to smaller-than-them women, and crazy women may employ social or legal tactics that favor women.

The Snark Knight

THIS ^^^^^^^^^^

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Trust me, if you get me mad I would get violent first and tactful after....

Catija

4:27 PM

Or... you know... she could just stop hanging her bathing suit in the public spaces of the apartment...

Tinkeringbell

@Catija Which is what that answer suggested, and why I was wondering why it was downvoted...

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell That's a much better approach IMO, but I've known both kinds. :-P

Mister Positive

@Catija Agreed, but I would not ask her to do that...she could respond in a very humiliating way especially if she is attractive and you try to embarrass her.

Tinkeringbell

But then again, the OP still hasn't answered whether or not they want to 'deal with attention seeking' or 'get the bathing suit out of the hallway'.... there's a bit of difference I think, and the answers are in both ranges as well..

TheTinyMan

@Catija Absolutely what a non-crazy person who has been rejected and asked not to do that would do, but that's a symptom and not the real issue the OP wants to fix, and we also can't evaluate the person's craziness.

Mister Positive

4:29 PM

@Tinkeringbell Also agree with this.

The Snark Knight

@TheTinyMan an ex of mine accused me of stalking her. I had to drive five miles out of my way to work so I didn't even go through the town she was living in (in the house I paid for).

Catija

So stop assuming that she is crazy?

The Snark Knight

@Catija you assume a gun is loaded, don't you?

Anne Daunted

There may still be practical reason for her putting her bathing suit in the hallway

Mister Positive

@Catija Well, I think a bit of craziness is there in that the behavior outlined by the OP is not normal base on my experience?

Tinkeringbell

4:30 PM

@Catija Then we might want to edit the question title a little, and bold out the 'get the bathing suit out of the hallway?' --> If she isn't crazy, what do the attention seeking details in the question, and the romantic interests, have to do with it?

TheTinyMan

I don't think that anyone is assuming that she's crazy, although the OP's undertones imply that she might be. @TheSnarkKnight kind of expressed a hope that she's not, and since then we've been talking about what he meant when he said that?

Mister Positive

@AnneDaunted Such As?

besides dryer broken

Anne Daunted

Maybe she wants even more space in her room than she already got. Perhaps she is just selfish

The Snark Knight

The post says she has her own bathroom

TheTinyMan

Oh, there are possible reasons. Maybe there's a convenient vent that blows out very hot air in the hallway.

Catija

4:31 PM

Assuming that she's "crazy" fails the "be nice" rules utterly.

The Snark Knight

@Catija assuming she's a danger is a rational course of action.

Catija

No. It's really not.

The Snark Knight

@Catija I bring you two tigers, one of them is viscous, the other is tame. Do you risk petting one of them?

Anne Daunted

There is really not enough information to conclude that.

The OP is pretty vague about the alleged stalkerish behavior

Catija

Seriously, how is someone hanging their bikini out in public space a sign of being "crazy"? This guy could be reading things into it that we're unaware of... it could just be a bikini left out to dry...

TheTinyMan

4:33 PM

Entirely possible.

Anne Daunted

So the worst we know about is her bathing suit hanging around in the hallway - to arouse the OP?

Magisch

Why is that even relevant

Anne Daunted

Maybe she has a crush on the other guy nd not the OP ;-)

Magisch

I don't agree that hanging a bikini into the hallway has to carry a hidden meaning

The Snark Knight

@Catija it's not the bikini. If he approaches her and expresses that he is NOT interested, then he risks dealing with someone who has been rebuffed

and THAT is dangerous

Mister Positive

4:34 PM

@Catija Its attention grabbing. The type of person described by the OP is an attention seeker, and is most likely interested in the OP.

The Snark Knight

Perhaps the bikini part should be edited out, since everyone is focusing on it.

Mister Positive

@TheSnarkKnight good idea

I think we should edit this part out "with her hanging her skimpy bathing suit out in the hallway" as I read it too fast and thought the OP meant she was hanging out not just putting her suit out. [my bad]

TheTinyMan

I think that'd be for the OP to do though, since have multiple interpretations of what it is that he's looking for help with?

apaul

Wow... Things took an awfully misogynistic turn...

TheTinyMan

Yeah, that was my first reading, too

Magisch

4:37 PM

My reading of this is that OP is interpreting things into her behavior that aren't guaranteed to be that

The Snark Knight

@apaul nothing misogynistic about being aware of what can happen to you. Watch Judge Judy some time, this does happen

Magisch

But challenging the framing of the question isn't on topic so w/e

Mister Positive

I think my edit will work.

Anne Daunted

@Magisch I agree with you

Mister Positive

Feel free to roll it back if it doesn't.

The Snark Knight

4:37 PM

Given the overall tone of the question, I think it's pretty clear that she's being forward towards him.

Anne Daunted

@TheSnarkKnight No, the only thing clear is that the OP thinks so

The Snark Knight

@AnneDaunted regardless. he's tap-dancing on a minefield.

Catija

The third paragraph makes no sense now because the initial mention of the swim suit is gone.

Magisch

This is a thing we might need a meta for

how do we handle questions where it's likely that people will challenge the framing

just enforce that they don't do so?

Mister Positive

It reads ok to me, but by all means edit it. I am not attached to any of it

The Snark Knight

4:41 PM

I edited out the baithing suit entirely

Mister Positive

@TheSnarkKnight That is better to me

Catija

That invalidates the top answer...

Anne Daunted

I think that editing is going too far here

This is not TWP

Mister Positive

@AnneDaunted What does TWP have to do with the edits?

Anne Daunted

The OP wants to tackle the issue of the bathing suit in the hallway and this is then edited out...

Mister Positive

4:42 PM

I was actually just trying to make the question less scandalous.

The Snark Knight

@AnneDaunted are we from TWP unwanted here?

Anne Daunted

No

Mister Positive

@AnneDaunted The real issue is the stalker, get in my biz behavior. I don't appreciate the TWP reference.

Magisch

@MisterPositive on twp people don't just challenge the framing most of the time, when your framing is challenged the framing is usually changed by an editor to fit useful answers better

is a 15k user on twp

Mister Positive

I was attempting ( poorly ) to make the question more useful to all. The bikini is irrelevant to the overall goal of the OP IMHO. By all means roll it back if need be, but I don't think being a member of another community is relevant. It reeks of a backhand.

Anne Daunted

4:45 PM

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone

I was just remembering this meta discussion

8

Q: What to do with the question regarding working with a previous rapist?

How can I professionally change circumstances so I no longer work with a convicted rapist? I made a very significant edit to this question as it was quickly bound to be deleted, given it's content. However there are a few answers there and some meta conversation under the question now so I'm op...

discussion

Mister Positive

have a good day all

The Snark Knight

I'll see if I can edit and put the bikini back in without making it the focal point.

forget it. Peace out people.

TheTinyMan

I'd like to point out that @TheSnarkKnight and @Catija are both editing the question to emphasize what they perceived as the OP's most important question. Maybe we should revert it and ask the OP to clarify?

Anne Daunted

They did in the original question: "I want to directly address the issue of her leaving the bathing suit hanging out in the hallway (she has the biggest bedroom of us all and has a huge closet inside, there's clearly no need for her to hang it outside of her room, other than for seeking attention, I feel), but I am not sure how to do this without being accusatory and mean."

Magisch

Maybe we should have this discussion on meta

Catija

4:51 PM

We can not answer how to get the entire behavior to stop, that's too broad. We need to focus on specific issues.

Magisch

hashing out policy in chat runs the risk of being exclusionary

Jarko Dubbeldam

P.S. Might it perhaps be LARP? — Bookeater 1 hour ago

That's kinda scary lol

Anne Daunted

There is no need for such a discussion. The OP made it clear. You simply can't leave out the bathing suit, because that's what the OP is asking about.

Tinkeringbell

I voted to close the thing as unclear what you're asking... We need to know whether the OP wants the bathing suit thing addressed or the behavior

If we have such rows about it in chat, it's time for the OP to step up

(I like the title edit btw, but I think OP might need to confirm what it's about)...

Catija

@AnneDaunted That's what I wrote in my comment.

Magisch

4:53 PM

@AnneDaunted The fact that we've been sharing conflicting opinions on what should be done with the question for 20 minutes now is I think evidence that a meta discussion would be beneficial

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch By all means, please do :)

Magisch

If only to create something to point to if it comes up again

TheTinyMan

@JarkoDubbeldam There are definitely some horrific snorers in my LARP group too. My strategy tends to be "sleep like a rock." xD

Jarko Dubbeldam

@TheTinyMan I tend to do that as well

But falling asleep is hard if you're listening to a noise

TheTinyMan

@JarkoDubbeldam Yeah. I use sheets as curtains around my bunk, and have a CPAP machine which adds white noise that only I can hear, and take melatonin to help me sleep in general, so I think I have an advantage there. xD

Jarko Dubbeldam

4:57 PM

which sadly is also something earplugs are not that useful for, since it's not necessarily the loudness that's the issue

TheTinyMan

@JarkoDubbeldam Yeah. Wish I had good advice for you. :-(

Jarko Dubbeldam

It's generally not a biiig issue, since the snorers generally share a room, but I was just wondering

TheTinyMan

That sounds kind of horrifying in its own right though O.O A cacophony of snoring!

Jarko Dubbeldam

That just means the rest is safe. so that's nice

TheTinyMan

Yeah :-)

apaul

5:16 PM

So...

TheTinyMan

'Bout that weather?

Tinkeringbell

Oh, it's no longer freezing here, but it's dark and sometimes a bit rainy

TheTinyMan

Man, it was freezing in my house this morning, because someone decided to turn the AC on when it was 50 degrees outside the night before xD

(Not, you know, literally freezing. But you know.)

Magisch

It's around 0C to -1C here and a brash snow/rain mix coming down on 25cm now very soggy fresh snow

So ideal weather to not leave your apartment and stay inside instead

TheTinyMan

Aw, man. Can I come visit, @Magisch?

I think I'm of German descent, that'll help, right? xD

It's just chilly and partly cloudy here ... like 7C or 8C I guess?

Aw, man, I can't edit my post about "50 degrees" to add the value in Celsius? Weird...but that's like 10C

Tinkeringbell

5:27 PM

@TheTinyMan That's nice and cozy :P

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Yeah, most people around me feel differently but for me it's light jacket weather. I need to buy a light jacket. xD

Probably no-jacket weather when I'm not first waking up and crawling out from under the covers. xD

Tinkeringbell

Well, to be honest, if the temp gets below 10 degrees C here, I'm in my winter coat ;)

I like winter coats, they're like portable blankets :D

TheTinyMan

I get so warm so easily though! D:

Magisch

I misplaced my ability to heat myself with a couple lost pounds

TheTinyMan

I do have quite a few pounds that I'm trying to find a new home for

Magisch

5:31 PM

I used to be fine walking around in a tshirt @ 5C but now I'm constantly cold and wear like 4 layers

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Please don't lose them... I have the bad habit of picking pounds up that other people lost everywhere! :D

@Magisch Meh, that's a clothing thing.... they don't make clothing that you can wear in 1 layer anymore... ;)

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell At least those poor pounds aren't homeless and unloved!

Hah, all that I know is that I am sweating and my fan is on at work wearing short sleeves xD

Magisch

I have a heater on max here and a blanket and a hot water bag

maximum wuss mode

TheTinyMan

Don't worry, I'll be in wuss mode come the summer

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch I'm jealous. I'm still on a train, so all I have is my winter coat...

TheTinyMan

5:35 PM

But it's like a portable blanket, right? xD

Someone should get @Tinkeringbell a Snuggie for the holidays!

Tinkeringbell

And they don't have heating here it seems, it's drafty cold air that I feel blowing and freezing my feet :(

@TheTinyMan Yeah, someone should, because my mom will kill me if I buy one myself :D

I'm going to get one as soon as I've moved into a place of my own ;)

Magisch

I have a scarf and a wooly cap and 2 layers of jacket and long underwear for this time of year

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Uh oh, related to the fashion police?

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Not really, but she hates snuggies. She hates my pink blankie too.

And my fleece sweater

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell So basically all things that are warm, comfy, and cute?

Magisch

5:37 PM

I used to be that guy that made fun of people needing a lot of clothing for warmth

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Pretty much. I'm certainly not allowed to wear any of those when there's other people than close relatives around...

Magisch

because I never had those issues until a couple months ago

on the plus side, I don't sweat much anymore during summer

Tinkeringbell

@Magisch Well, keep at it :) Losing weight is hard, so feel glad you did it :)

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell I'm going to tell myself that you're exaggerating and you're not actually forbidden from wearing a fleece sweater around people O.o

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan I am...

TheTinyMan

5:38 PM

@Tinkeringbell Oh! Good. xD I've known some, uh, overbearing parents! Actually I've read about way more on IPS xD

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell really isn't for me. It was a change of habit at the start, but that's it

once you've established healthy habits it becomes work not to lose weight

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Hahaha. it might just be the print, lemme see if I can find a picture for you ;)

Magisch

One of the things that will be hard to shake is the habit of notoriously counting calories

I can't eat things where I can't calculate the calorie content anymore

TheTinyMan

@Magisch Like as a matter of health awareness or more of a psychological compulsion?

Magisch

psychological compulsion

TheTinyMan

5:41 PM

@Magisch That sounds really rough. :-\

Magisch

Its got to the point where I'm loath to touch anything that I can't calculate the calorie content down to 2 decimal points. And I have a small scale in my backpack

TheTinyMan

Down to 2 decimal points?? O.O

Magisch

And yes that too is a unhealthy habit but it's better then not caring

TheTinyMan

Is counting calories that precise? I'd always had the impression that even going by calorie menus or calorie databases, those are in reality expected to be off from the theoretical by +/- several percent unless it's a perfectly homogeneous substance.

Magisch

@TheTinyMan They aren't

I just started off with spreadsheets and the habit stuck

TheTinyMan

5:44 PM

I mean, Sandwich Artisan Angie might have put slices of a bigger cucumber on my sandwich than Sandwich Artisan Bill, so unless I'm weighing the cucumber itself, weighing the sandwich itself wouldn't tell me what's in greater proportion?

Or so I would think

Magisch

Like I know Strawberries are 33 kcal / 100g but they really aren't depending on the type and sweetness of the individual strawberry

Another effect this has is that I don't eat compound foods not self made anymore

TheTinyMan

Yeah, like that - is that not a greater variance than what you're expecting?

Man

if I could manage that

I would lose so much weight xD

Magisch

This only works because I a) live alone and b) fully control my entire food intake

And one of the side effects of mathematizing food to such an extent is that the taste and cravings are really just irrelevant now

TheTinyMan

Absolutely fair. :-) Immediately following my divorce I managed to lose 40 lbs in 3 months because, not sharing my time or meals with anyone, I could eat the most boring-to-everyone-in-the-world-but-me for 3 meals a day, about 5-6 days a week, and exercise a lot, and still have time to relax. xD

Magisch

I stopped eating food because it tastes good and started eating it because of macronutrient balance and micronutrient balance

Like this morning I ate an edamame salad with balsamico vinegar and almonds and some quinoa as base. It tastes far from great but has great nutritional balance

TheTinyMan

5:49 PM

Man, that sounds super un-filling to me...quinoa just doesn't do it for me like people say it's supposed to. That's the biggest reason that I eat, because my stomach will gnaw and distract me if I don't.

Magisch

Funny thing is I don't get that at all

I don't need to fill full because that feeling just went under in the obsession of flipping nutrition numbers

TheTinyMan

Man. Yeah, I eat gigantic portions (I'm a gigantic guy, though), and I really don't think that I'd do that as badly if I didn't get that gnawing feeling.

Magisch

This is typical of my personality I went from not caring whatsoever about what I ate (bad) to obsessing over every sliver (still bad but less so)

apaul

7:02 PM

I'm a little lost on what was wrong with the bikini/roommate question @Catija

@Catija Seems like the OP thought the bikini was a symptom of the attention seeking behavior and I'm not sure how the attention seeking issue would be too broad.

Tinkeringbell

@apaul Well, it's closed as unclear ;)

Introverted Meta Man.

0

Q: Are INTRApersonal questions allowable on this site or is this strictly interpersonal?

As the title suggests, I was looking to ask an intrapersonal question and was wondering if this would be the appropriate site? I understand this SE is more about sociology than psychology but there is no SE as of yet that covers the psychology aspect of life.

discussion asking-questions

apaul

@Tinkeringbell I still don't get it...

Tinkeringbell

@apaul Well, you're interpreting the questions as being about the attention seeking. Many other people did, that's what we had a pretty big discussion and edits about. But, as asked in the comments, the original question states:

> I want to directly address the issue of her leaving the bathing suit hanging out in the hallway

So, I asked whether they wanted to deal with the attention seeking OR the bathing suit

Because if it's just the bathing suit, an IPS solution might very well bypass the attention seeking alltogether

apaul

@Tinkeringbell Why not both?

Tinkeringbell

7:12 PM

But if this is about the attention seeking, she might react very poorly to people saying 'please store your bathing suit in your own room'

apaul

@Tinkeringbell Kinda seemed like the attention seeking was the core issue? The bathing suit seemed to be included as an example of that behavior?

Tinkeringbell

Well, to be honest, I'm struggling with 'both'. As Catija mentioned a few times, we can't assume bad intentions.

So, if it's just about the bathing suit, working from the premise that she might be a crazy attention seeker is sorta that...Assuming bad intentions in leaving the swimming suit around

On the other hand, we have to honour OP's premise

But, take a look at the answers there.... they range from 'deal with the bathing suit' to 'she's crazy'.

So I think there's something missing here...

Either it has to be edited to make clear the bathing suit is just one example
Or it has to be edited to make clear the bathing suit is the core problem

And I'm not confident enough making that judgment call without input from the OP...

Funny though, most males interpret the question as being about 'attention seeking', while women see it as about 'the swimsuit has to go from the hallway'.

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell sexual dimorphism and differences in socialization

I guess

apaul

@Tinkeringbell I haven't read the answers yet, but reading the first version of the question seems to show how the OP interpreted the situation. It could be the OP misreading the situation, or reading too much into it, but drastically editing to change the intent seems a little off.

Tinkeringbell

That's why to me, it's unclear.... Does he want our help with adressing the bathing suit issue only, or the whole attention seeking thing?

True, the 'attention seeking/romantic interest' might be a thing to take into account, even when dealing with the bathing suit only...
But then an answer will have to focus a lot less on that and more on the bathing suit...

apaul

7:27 PM

Probably best to leave it till the OP comes back, but the strong reactions seem to be coming from people in the community and don't seem to be... well... realistically based in the situation present in the question.

HDE 226868

I imagine that if the OP really believes that the bathing suit is part of a larger romantic pattern, then even dealing only with the bathing suit would require dealing with the larger issue as a whole. I agree with @Tinkeringbell there.

I'm not inclined to edit or vote to reopen until we have any more information on that.

apaul

@HDE226868 Did you take a look at the original question?

HDE 226868

@apaul I did; I can't see any specific details in it.

(additional specific details, that is)

apaul

@HDE226868 I'm questioning why it sparked all the editing and controversy. Additional details are always nice, but the man vs woman thing it sparked felt a little silly.

Catija

I was intending to somewhat neutralize the question without removing actual content. Some of the edits completely removed all of the reference to the swim suit at all.

apaul

7:34 PM

@HDE226868 it seems to have started in chat here: chat.stackexchange.com/rooms/61165/the-awkward-silence#

Jarko Dubbeldam

eh, idk what's up with that question. It seems to me like a big overreaction to interpret leaving a bikini lying around as attention seeking. But ohwell

apaul

@Catija Mkay? Just seems like closing, requesting more info, and rolling back the edits could/should have resolved it?

Catija

The loaded question content wasn't helping the OP. I thought about the title a lot before editing it but the body of the question specifically says that they "wanted to directly address" the swim suit issue.

apaul

@Catija Fair enough.

HDE 226868

@apaul So, I've skimmed most of the morning's transcript.

One thing that comes to mind is that fact that in many cases, we can't really trust the OP's interpretation of things. We can only trust the facts. None of us is (are?) able to present a truly unbiased view of a situation, and I feel like people should maybe not be taking the OP's interpretation as the actual truth.

TheTinyMan

7:43 PM

@HDE226868 As someone who admittedly tends toward trusting an asker, how do we draw that line, beyond asking for more information?

HDE 226868

@TheTinyMan I'd say that's the perfect way to go, all by itself: Just ask them for the facts.

And people have done that in this particular case, in the comments.

The Snark Knight

@HDE226868 everybody lies? I can run with that.

@HDE226868 people actually using the comments as intended? Is there a full moon or something?

@TheTinyMan If we're not going to trust the asker, what's the point?

apaul

@HDE226868 That seems reasonable. I find myself doing that in answers from time to time, when it feels like there's a bit of hyperbole present in a question. But it's usually better to reduce hyperbole than add it? Like if you have to make an assumption try to assume that people are sane and relatively reasonable.

Mithrandir

Phineas and Ferb - Lies

►

apaul

@TheSnarkKnight Super full actually.

The Snark Knight

7:47 PM

@Mithrandir I'm lying to you now. Everything I write, is a lie, including this.

HDE 226868

@apaul That's usually a good assumption to make.

The Snark Knight

@apaul I KNEW it!

@HDE226868 I never assume anyone is sane.

if they were, Judge Judy would be out of a job

TheTinyMan

No viewers AND no clients!

The Snark Knight

@TheTinyMan much of my life would seem like a falsehood, except to those who know me. Heck, I don't believe half the things that happened to me myself.

Hmmmm, I did the whole "which movie character are you" I got "Loki"

Mithrandir

@TheSnarkKnight universe explodes in the face of a paradox

apaul

7:51 PM

Judge Judy is a TV show... Not really representative of normal human interaction... Like it's very likely dramatized for TV much like Jerry Springer or any other bad daytime TV.

The Snark Knight

@apaul I disagree. It's quite representative, as those are humans interacting.

granted, it may be exaggerated, but far worse goes on.

apaul

Also... Are "Super Moons" not all that super? Seems like much ado about nothing...

The Snark Knight

In any event, it was my understanding that one of the core rules on SE was "assume good intent". If we are to assume that the OPs are lying, that goes against "assume good intent", doesn't it?

@apaul I prefer studying things at a quantum level, things get real interesting down there.

apaul

@TheSnarkKnight @HDE226868 you wanna field that?

@TheSnarkKnight Selection bias at it's finest ;)

HDE 226868

I've always interpreted "good intent" as "trying to sincerely get a solution or answer a question".

2

So, for instance, many answer to relationship questions that say "End the relationship!" are probably not written with good intent (especially in cases where the conflict is minor).

For instance, people probably shouldn't end a relationship over something like disagreeing over what shade of beige to paint the living room.

Likewise, a question that basically just asks for people to confirm the OP's feelings is probably not written with good intent.

TheTinyMan

8:00 PM

I had that concern too though

..argh go away enter key

It seemed to me that not addressing the "underlying" issue that sounded to me like what he was really asking would violate the "assume good intent" thing ... although someone had already done what I thought was needed, which was "ask for more information."

The Snark Knight

@apaul I'm well aware of the fact that JJ picks the most entertaining litigants, but they are still litigants, nonetheless. Besides, I've been to court, you wouldn't believe the antics in there that dwarf what goes on that you see on her show.

HDE 226868

@apaul I've never found images of super moons that exciting. Looking through a large telescope at the full moon, on the other hand, is something else.

apaul

@HDE226868 I have a similar feeling. It was kinda nice to not need headlights at work last night, it was noticably brighter, but that seemed to be about it.

@TheSnarkKnight Simply being in a courtroom you're seeing a tiny sliver of the population that couldn't resolve problems among themselves.

The Snark Knight

@apaul and the people coming to IPS are, as a consequence going to be on the fringes, as people not having any difficulty will not be asking questions.

also, there's Poe's law.

HDE 226868

@apaul My roommate and I went outside at night to take pictures when it came out in the middle of the clouds. It was fun, albeit chilly.

Em C

8:11 PM

@HDE226868 I hope it had a filter if it was a big scope! you can burn your eyes doing that

apaul

@TheSnarkKnight It's a bit like drawing crime stats from a prison population ... You gotta consider your methodology.

Em C

it's really neat to look at the edge of light and dark when it's not a full moon, too :D

HDE 226868

@EmC Don't worry; there was a filter. We also used a second scope to guide it, which was quite smaller.

Em C

(sorry to butt in, I just like astronomy :P)

HDE 226868

:D

Em C

8:13 PM

@HDE226868 oh phew :) sounds like a neat setup

The Snark Knight

@apaul nothing wrong with that if you want to see if you have criminals in your midst

apaul

@HDE226868 Astrophotography is always fun. Takes a bit of patience sometimes though.

HDE 226868

@EmC It's the telescope in my college's observatory; we were using it for my astro class and got lucky with the timing.

The Snark Knight

Sadly, I live in NJ, I haven't seen stars in the sky since my youth.

Em C

@HDE226868 nice! my college had an observatory too and if you did a training class you could check out the keys whenever, so a couple friends and I would do that every so often and just hang out on the roof. it was awesome

apaul

8:17 PM

My experience with it was doing 360 degree HDR panoramas at night. Lots of really long exposures stitched together. The end results look kind of neat though.

HDE 226868

@EmC Awesome! I took a trip this fall to a university with an old-ish observatory. Unfortunately, the computers controlling the telescope were in a room directly below it, so if only one person was using it, they apparently had to keep running up and down the stairs to check that things were working (and to move the dome, by hand).

Catija

We went out to the McDonald Observatory in West Texas a few years back for Valentine's Day. It was perfect and practically cloudless and the next day we went for a tour and got to see a bunch of their telescopes.

Em C

@HDE226868 haha, that's astronomy for ya

somehow super high tech and very old school all at once

HDE 226868

Until 3 years ago, the computers they were using were approximately 30 years old. They didn't want to transfer the data to new ones because they were unsure if they could do so without damaging anything. The floppy disks were . . . fragile.

(And yes, they still had to use floppy disks for the system . . . in 2014.)

apaul

Not one of mine, but this one is pretty impressive:

360cities.net/image/vortex-star-trails

2

Em C

8:23 PM

@apaul o: that's awesome

HDE 226868

. . . Wow.

Em C

my homepage at work is apod.nasa.gov, that's where I get all my desktop backgrounds :)

apaul

They have a couple panos shot by the Mars Rover on that site too.

360cities.net/image/…

Em C

:D

TheTinyMan

@Catija That sounds like the best Valentine's Day! :D

@apaul It's so weird how that almost looks like a normal Earth desert! O.O

apaul

8:38 PM

@TheTinyMan The sky is very eerie though. Almost reminds me of weird pre tornado sky, but it's so... featureless?

Jarko Dubbeldam

I like this one: 360cities.net/image/mars-panorama-curiosity-selfie-night

apaul

@JarkoDubbeldam I hadn't seen that one yet, that's beautiful. Surprisingly clear night sky.

Jarko Dubbeldam

well, the lack of atmosphere helps

Em C

I don't think it's real :( based on the caption, "digital art compilation", ESO is earth-based observatory

apaul

@JarkoDubbeldam Ya, I suppose so. Just after getting lost in the day sky's odd yellowish-ness it's easy to think of it as overcast?

@EmC Ohhh

Jarko Dubbeldam

8:45 PM

@EmC yeah they reference VISTA telescope

doubt that's on Mars

still pretty though

Em C

this one is from mars: img.purch.com/w/660/… (it's from a space.com slideshow with 146 pictures so I can't find a direct link lol)

oh here's a better source mars.nasa.gov/news/…

apaul

@EmC "you are here"

Em C

SPAAAAAACE! - Portal 2

►

apaul

The Snark Knight

One nice thing about supernovas (and hypernovas) is that if one is ever coming our way, we'll never know about it.

apaul

8:53 PM

@Catija interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/7605/59

The Snark Knight

@apaul three flags and it's gone. I flagged it.

Catija

I deleted it.

Em C

"snack overflow", lol

The Snark Knight

okay then.....

apaul

@Catija Cool cool. Maybe time for a mod message...

@EmC om nom nom nom

HDE 226868

8:56 PM

@TheSnarkKnight What do you mean?

The Snark Knight

@HDE226868 by the time we could view a supernova in progress, we'd be wiped out if we were in it's path.

Em C

@apaul that's what happens when I go home around the holidays :D

The Snark Knight

so, we would literally never see it coming

HDE 226868

@TheSnarkKnight Not really. We've seen quite a few supernovae over the past couple millenia.

Catija

If it's sufficiently far away, it's not a problem... :/

HDE 226868

8:57 PM

E.g., the supernova of 1054 that formed the Crab Nebula.

The Snark Knight

@HDE226868 right, but we were not in it's path

HDE 226868

Tycho's Supernova was another one.

@TheSnarkKnight What do you mean by "in it's path"?

Em C

inverse square law - it's a very powerful event, but we only get a tiny fraction of the energy since we're so far away

The Snark Knight

@EmC right, but if it were one that would kill us, we'd never see it.

HDE 226868

A supernova would have to be ~10 parsecs or less away, I believe, to cause any serious harm.

Even 100 light-years wouldn't be problematic.

We see plenty of supernovae on a regular basis.

Em C

8:59 PM

@TheSnarkKnight ah, yeah if it were going to we'd be hosed

apaul

@HDE226868 Something tells me there's at least a few questions on Worlduilding about that...

The Snark Knight

@EmC well, the starbursts from when we crash into the next galaxy will probably do us in first

HDE 226868

@apaul There are. I've answered a couple of them (e.g. worldbuilding.stackexchange.com/q/3615/627).

The Snark Knight

I wish I was as sharp as I was before the stroke.

Em C

@TheSnarkKnight hmm I was under the impression it probably wouldn't affect us much on a local scale, since there's still so much space between stars?

HDE 226868

9:01 PM

^ That.

The biggest danger is that the Solar System could be ejected from the galaxy. But the odds are that aren't high, IIRC.

The Snark Knight

@HDE226868 what about gravitational resonance if another star system comes close enough to us.

Wow, I think I've found another part of my brain that got messed up after the stroke. I used to know this stuff

HDE 226868

@TheSnarkKnight What do you mean by "gravitational resonance"? The odds are any orbits coming into alignment are also low.

The Snark Knight

@HDE226868 never mind, I used to understand that, I don't anymore. I'm going to have to relearn that.

Man, your brain after a stroke is like a city with half the roads closed. You know where you need to go, but the ways are blocked.

apaul

Nudge...

0

Q: Could/should we work this into our help center?

Catija said something in a comment yesterday that really struck me as something we could all stand to keep in mind: You don't have to vote on every question and answer posted here. When you downvote because something makes you uncomfortable, you are hurting the person who has asked the questi...

discussion help-center

Much awkward, very silent.

Tinkeringbell

9:17 PM

@apaul I'd say no... for the very reason that it's already in our help center (downvote page).... so, do you really wanna nudge me to downvote? :P

apaul

@Tinkeringbell I think you're missing what I was pointing out with that :P

@Tinkeringbell There's a more important message beyond voting behavior tucked in there that was the real point of the meta question...

Em C

@apaul hmm... maybe this is something that could be added into the "controversial topic notice"?

like instead of just reminding people to keep comments/answers on topic, add a line about being prudent with your votes

Tinkeringbell

I get that, but I think that since you wrote a question asking whether it should be added to the Help Center, the answer is no.

I agree that we should never ever downvote a question (or answer) because you're uncomfortable with it... I hope I never ever did.

Jarko Dubbeldam

@HDE226868 Is that really an issue, if we keep our sun?

Tinkeringbell

The voting culture will come ;) I've seen it slowly but steadily growing over the last few weeks : Bad answers get downvotes and comments, bad questions are downvoted as well.

And as interesting as the discussion might be, it's already past my bedtime again, so see you tomorrow :)

apaul

9:30 PM

@Tinkeringbell night

The Snark Knight

9:50 PM

Tinkeringbell has a point. This stack is still in it's infancy.

things will gel after a fashion

The Snark Knight

10:23 PM

Good night everybody

Extroverted Main Man

1

Q: Is it offensive for an American to use regionalisms when interacting internationally in business?

In my work, I spend a lot of time speaking with international colleagues from Asia and South America. I am from the United States. The English regionalisms I notice in these countries can be surprising, and sometimes so frequently used that I find myself tempted to adopt them for the sake of sm...

united-states language cross-culture cultural-appropriation

Extroverted Main Man

10:41 PM

0

Q: How can I broach the subject of a "friends with benefits" relationship while avoiding being accused of sexual harassment?

Living in the age of Tinder and other hookup / dating apps, people have casual partners called "friends with benefits". How can I ask someone - on Tinder, OkCupid, text message or email - if she would like to become friends with benefits? I asked one girl in a text -- she commented that it wa...

conversations online-interaction

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