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12:01 AM
Q: Is it wrong to frequently ask for help from an acquaintance who is not paid/obligated to help me?

A. WilliamsA small amount of backstory; I work at a small company part-time, helping with their IT/networking needs, as well as managing their database. They use an older, fairly obscure proprietary software that was previously managed by a man I'll call Tom. Before I was hired, whenever my company needed t...

2 hours later…
2:17 AM
Q: How to ask a difficult neighbor not to play ball in front of house

PICyPICyPICyMy problem is with my next door neighbor. His grandson (approximately 5 years old) lives with him part time and they have started setting up one or two nets on the sidewalk and kicking a hard ball. The objective of their game to get the ball in one of the nets. They often miss and the ball has...

4 hours later…
5:50 AM
This room is getting more ROs!
Q: Should we create a script to unprotect questions?

CatijaWe protect a lot of questions. We have fewer that 1000 questions on this site right now and over 134 of them are protected. That's greater than 10%. By having so many questions protected, we are limiting who can answer these questions. I think that we should be removing the protection after some...

For once it's not late.
Has anyone done anything to make it faster?
A script?
Oh, It posted the feed only seconds after the post was posted. (Improvements!)
5:57 AM
@Catija Am I eligible to give an opinion given that I'm not around here for a long time? cc @all
@NogShine Anyone can post on meta, provided they have the 5 rep :)
who protected it? ( think user /mod/community)
think user, OK
No points here.
Jon Skeet is just a normal guy on the Stack Exchange network with a lot of reps. He doesn't need a tag. — Henry WH Hack v2.1 43 secs ago
I want that badge.
The badge for leaving 10 comments.
@HenryWHHackv2.1 Expect the deletion of that question within 1 hour.
6:12 AM
PS: How about a Area51 proposal about Jon Skeet? Our friendly aliens will be waiting to close it. :D
@NogShine Maybe maybe not.
Can anyone see this?
I hit the rate limit.
OK, That's all for today.
1 hour later…
7:26 AM
interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/7607/… What to do with that one? The OP had a long conversation with Catija in the comments, but made no attempts at editing yet.... :/
1 hour later…
8:37 AM
@Tinkeringbell What edits would you expect? I donno what more needs to be added.
8:50 AM
@NVZ Like Catija said in the comments
> Whether something is "offensive" or not is purely a matter of opinion and isn't up to us to decide.
Etcetera. The OP said they were going to edit the question....
@Tinkeringbell most questions fall into that category, then.
@NVZ Hmmm... I think Catija spent a good deal of time explaining in the comments what is wrong with the question. She wouldn't close it unilaterally, but I'm still not seeing improvements after 8/9 hours... For me, it's unclear what the OP is asking, because they stated in the comments that they were willing to rewrite the question but gave no verdict on what they were going to rewrite it to.
So, if they really want to know if X is offensive, I agree with Catija that the question is not a good fit for this site
If they want to know something else, as implied in the comments, that should be edited, and that is what makes it unclear to me
@Tinkeringbell again, what's "unclear" depends on who you ask. let's just say, I found it okay enough, and it's pretty much asked like most other "is it rude to..." kind of questions.
@Tinkeringbell everything is a matter of opinion on this site, so there's that. :)
Q: Problems regarding speech script being altered

See Jian ShinIn a few days time I will be giving a valedictorian speech at my high school graduation. The teachers in charge asked me to show them my speech so I did. Just now a very different speech was sent to me with a title "amended speech". The whole speech is completely different from mine except a few ...

@NVZ I agree with Catija in this case:
"Offensive" is a per-person concept. One person may find certain words or concepts "offensive" while others find them "normal". There's no "correct" answer. The only person able to give an "official" answer is the person you're talking to. — Catija ♦ 10 hours ago
If it's a matter of established etiquette, okay. But this is definitely not...
8:59 AM
@Tinkeringbell okay, so who decides what's an established etiquette? that's an endless chain of questions if we go down that road.
i have asked "is it rude to x to y" once. it has received multiple answers, that contain similar or different advice. but i found them helpful, gives me perspective, food for thought, points to ponder next time i get into such a scenario.
@NVZ rude is very different from offensive
@Tinkeringbell if we go strict about definitions, then yes, they have slightly different meanings. but i see the idea here being about "is it rude"
so perhaps an edit from "offensive" to "rude"?
And I'm not seeing that black-on-white... The OP said they were going to edit but gave no hint as to their preferred outcome.

I'm not going to edit it, I've had to deal with enough bs when majorly editing things...

Everytime this is raised on meta and I advocate editing I get comments saying 'Please just close and await input from the OP first'. So, that's what I'm doing.
2 hours later…
11:14 AM
Q: How should I tell someone that I've changed my mind about doing a favour?

Carlos3dxTL;DR I've changed my mind about doing a favour to a mate, it is not I don't want to do it, it is that I want to change the conditions (it is not economically related to me, but it means that the mate has to spend some money). More detail Some months ago, the inscriptions for a series of sport...

11:37 AM
Q: How do we deal with potentially controversial (but not NSFW) content in questions?

Anne DauntedI want to start this discussion in light of two recent questions, that triggered some debate and attempts at editing: Case 1 The question How to talk to my brother about a shared interest in pornographic furry material? led to a debate about removing pornographic furry in body, title and even a...

11:52 AM
Good question :)

Btw, this meta can use a little more attention: https://interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/2207/is-how-to-write-off-topic-on-ips
@JarkoDubbeldam I think I'll have to adapt this one for Christmas, since it's a bit late to ask for Sinterklaas: scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/…
yay to all bar tea
@JarkoDubbeldam Hihihi :) Well, I'm currently enjoying a mug of coffee. Maybe I'll drink more tea later today
I don't drink tea or coffee
Closest that I do drink is hot cocoa
@JarkoDubbeldam Hahaha ;) I started with tea for special occasions (weddings, birthdays, funerals) because I felt a bit embarrassed asking for a fristi everytime :P
It kinda stuck ...
12:05 PM
I'm drinking coffee now because otherwise I'll fall over...
It has loads of sweetener and creamer, otherwise I'll gag... :/
hmm, I'm at home with a cold
@JarkoDubbeldam Ugh... get well soon!
Curious to see what the non-Dutch people make of that! :P
@JarkoDubbeldam Kikker in je keel? :P
Having a frog in your throat? Isn't that also slang for an englishman?
12:08 PM
@JarkoDubbeldam Never heard it ;)
I thought it was either the french calling the english frogs, or the other way around
@JarkoDubbeldam Okay, so that works in English as well... TIL
Still wonder what the alternative to 'opkikkertje' is though... :D
Google gives booze related search results :P
a boost
I think pick-me-up comes closest...
Is what google translate says
12:13 PM
@JarkoDubbeldam Strange, mine says 'pick me up'... :/
Boost isn't even in my list..
opkikker instead of opkikkertje?
@JarkoDubbeldam Oh... that might be it... I always use the little words :P
Weird though... opkikker gives boost and no other suggestions, opkikkertje gives pick-me-up... does that mean a pick-me-up is just a tiny boost?
Q: How to approach flatmate (and relative) to stop talking about a topic that makes me uncomfortable

Daniel García RubioMy cousin and I recently moved in together. We have always been close and everything is going great except for a topic he really likes but makes me uncomfortable. This topic is about the bullfighting culture. For a little context, in Spain bullfighing is usually controversial. There are people w...

12:47 PM
Q: Blushing while teaching a class,

user9886I teach a couple of classes this semester to predominantly college freshmen. I am a recent grad student that finished last May so I consider myself significantly older than the females in my classroom, even though I am frequently mistaken to be about a decade younger by most strangers. There is...

2 hours later…
2:28 PM
Evening, friends! :-)
Good afternoon :P
Ahh, I should have done my time math better, I overshot! D: It's still afternoon there!
10 messages moved to trash
@TheTinyMan See, looks a lot cleaner :P
I don't mind fun, but if we remove things from the main site, it serves no reason to have it lingering in chat ;)
And you just reminded me of that :P
Absolutely, and I suspect that one of those words would have triggered @TheSnarkKnight's work vulgarity sniffer
@TheTinyMan Be nice you!
If things like that trigger that sniffer, he can get in serious trouble. So I understand his reaction...
2:31 PM
@Tinkeringbell ? I am! I think this is not a place that should trigger sniffers. I'm not being sarcastic or mean to him about it.
I also understand that that trigger might not be calibrated very correctly, but that's another discussion ;)
@TheTinyMan Ah okay.... I just didn't want to start that discussion again ;) I read it in a sort of demeaning manner. If that's not what you meant, then it's okay and my fault :D
@Tinkeringbell Absolutely, haha. But no, I'm not picking on him, I'm legitimately saying that that's a good reason to keep even language that would sound innocuous to me out of here. Which breaks my heart, we filter out so much color, but it's gotta be done!
@Tinkeringbell Ehh, I could have phrased what I was saying more carefully
Anyways. Ever get that snuggie? :-p
@TheTinyMan hahaha :) First, I'll need my own apartment, remember :P
@Tinkeringbell But it sounds like a great way to stir the metaphorical and humorous pot! ;-)
Yeah, our sniffers are *VERY sensitive.
2:35 PM
That really sucks.... FYL, @TheSnarkKnight.
FYL doesn't trip it does it? :-p
@TheTinyMan Meh, I'm doing that enough already...
@Tinkeringbell Oh yeah? Any interesting and juicy drama going on lately?
@TheTinyMan A row about New Years Eve... I wanna say Happy New Year, good night, zzzzz
@TheTinyMan we can tweak them a bit, but it took me two weeks to get authorization to go to Ron DeBruin's website.
@TheSnarkKnight I don't recognize that name actually
@Tinkeringbell And they want to, what, stay up and party all night?
2:37 PM
Mom wants me to go outside and talk to drunk neighbors + Join the neighbors at one of their places for more drink/food and meaningless talk
@TheTinyMan he's very big in VBA code. we use a lot of VBA for office automation
@Tinkeringbell Urgh. I hate it when family decides that you have an obligation to do stuff. >.<
@Tinkeringbell every programmer's dream :/
@TheSnarkKnight There are...big names in VBA? :o I'm way more experienced with VBA than most people I know IRL, that was a dark time in my life. xD
@TheSnarkKnight What, talk to drunk neighbors or the 'go to sleep'? :P
2:38 PM
@Tinkeringbell The one sarcastically and the other earnestly
@Tinkeringbell My family's happy if I even show up to an event that involves more than my immediate family. xD I spent my adolescence building up a reputation for hiding from everyone!
@Tinkeringbell talking to drunk neighbors, of course ;)
@TheTinyMan I've gotten VBA to do things it was never intended to do.
@TheSnarkKnight Do tell!
@TheTinyMan I never got the chance... :/
Things were pretty much obligatory
@TheTinyMan putting out a rather large portion of a newspaper, for example.
I hope I can start making some ultimatums about these things when I'm out of the house..
2:43 PM
argh, meeting prep now. grrr.
@TheSnarkKnight Good luck, make sure to bring sufficient amount of coffee to survive :)
@Tinkeringbell Yeah. That helps, too. I was an...antisocial kid, so sure, I'd go to the obligatory things, but I'd bring a book, and I'd glower in the corner like I did at school, and hide behind my book. And later a computer or a phone. Certainly isn't a tactic for everyone, and I doubt it would make sense to start it now.
As for now..there are always snuggie-related ultimatiums!
"I'll go...but I will smuggle in a Snuggie."
"I'm a Snuggier, like a comfier Han Solo."
@TheTinyMan Don't think that will work ;-)
My family is .... very fond of scandals.... bringing a snuggie/book whatever would be scandal and make me the very center of attention :/
@Tinkeringbell "Fond" in the "people would talk to you and tease you and try to have fun with it" kind of way, or in the whispering-behind-closed-doors kind of scandal fondness? :-\
@TheTinyMan Probably both.... I've certainly more than once heard from mom that aunts commented on my appearance after a celebration to her, instead of directly to me
2:51 PM
@Tinkeringbell Urgh. That's the worst. I wonder how much if any of that was just a one-off, "huh, that's interesting," on your aunt's part, that your mom was exaggerating to increase the drama...is your mom that kind of person? Or your aunt, for that matter?
@TheTinyMan No, my aunts are definitely capable of telling mom I didn't look my best (and looked like I hadn't tried) because I wasn't wearing make-up...
@Tinkeringbell yaknow
Luckily mom is nice and defensive, which meant at the next party I could explain all about my skin problems to a curious aunt... I made sure to be as gross as possible :P
@Tinkeringbell That's terrible, I'm sorry that you have to deal with that kind of crap. :-(
Having (non spam) deleted question oneboxes can be useful to leave in chat, just FYI
2:53 PM
@Tinkeringbell Hahaha
@Mithrandir "oneboxes?"
@TheTinyMan those things that happen when you post a link to a question/answer whatever.
@Mithrandir Gotcha. That's an interesting term for that. :-)
Q: How do I respond to children slightly younger than me laughing at my accent?

Arwen UndómielI'm an American. I moved to Israel. My Hebrew is OK, but I don't speak it perfectly. I also have... quite a strong accent. I'm trying to work on it, but it's there and fairly noticeable. Sometimes I'm talking - in a public space - to some kids my age (15), and some kids a few years younger than ...

@TheTinyMan I didn't make it up... :P
@Mithrandir Okay, but comments? I think I can safely keep removing those?
@Tinkeringbell yup
Just responding to that general message
2:55 PM
@Mithrandir Oh, no, I didn't mean to imply that you did, otherwise I would have asked why you called it that. xD
@Mithrandir I'll remember. Thanks for the info, always nice to know, since I'm not always sure on what to delete and what not. Now, to get a bus :)
YouTube links, XKCD links, Wikipedia links, Amazon links, and SE links (questions, answers, comments, users) all onebox.
And probably other stuff that I'm forgetting, too.
Github gists are supposed to onebox but that usually doesn't work.
Ah yes - SE chat links (message links, room links, conversation links) will also onebox, across all chat servers.
And Twitter links. That's what I was forgetting about.
@Mithrandir Got it, so it's not a SE-specific term even. Is it the name of a library commonly used for the callouts, I wonder? It sounds like a good proper noun. xD
I've got no idea :P
Q: Confronting mother being scammed from Online Dating

David ReedMy parent's divorced when I was in college after 23 years of marriage. A couple of years ago, my mom took to online dating. The first person she "met" scammed her out of a million dollars and then faked his own death. I put "met" in quotations because although they talked for nearly a year they n...

3:46 PM
A: How do we deal with potentially controversial (but not NSFW) content in questions?

apaulI would like to caution people against censorship in these cases. Whether people want to acknowledge it, or not, we're starting down a very slippery slope when we start editing out content that may make us a little uncomfortable. Once we set a standard that it's ok to start editing to suppress...

nice answer, @apaul
@AnneDaunted Thanks
Q: How can I convince my girlfriend not to worry about gifts I give her?

David StockingerOur Background My girlfriend was born in Laos and is currently living with her family in France. Money has always been a problem for her and her family. Her parents both don't earn a lot and regularly ask her for "financial help". While they claim it's just temporarily, they never showed any int...

Q: If humility is good, then why is humiliation bad?

P. DoeMost people would agree that humility is a good thing. So why then is it considered a bad thing to force humility upon someone via "humiliation"?

I agree

, but wasn't the whole discussion about 'do we want a title with the words 'furry porn' to pop up in HNQ'? ... It wasn't about being controversial or not, it was about 'is furry porn an NSFW term and should it, therefore, be edited so it won't show up in HNQ' as far as I recall?
@Tinkeringbell Depends on which part of the discussion you're talking about.
3:53 PM
Both of those conversations happened, @Tinkeringbell. One person was made uncomfortable by the topic and downvoted.
And btw, the furry thing might have gotten a lot less trolling because a lot less people are familiar with it... I had to look up what a furry was... (I understand the principle of porn, so I just looked up furries :P )
@TheTinyMan Ah okay, then I've only heard one side of the convo .... I've said nothing! :P
Btw, that's why I'm asking here instead of commenting ;)
@Tinkeringbell Well, and it's also worth mentioning that "furry" is a term that encompasses a much more diverse community than most people are aware of, that more visible element being the adult content. Not that that's really relevant to that question, because it was about that more visible element.
@Tinkeringbell Absolutely, it's easy to miss something like that when you were away for most of it. :-)
I always miss the fun :P
Btw, I think this meta can use some more attention, it is IMO a good thing to discuss!
Q: Is "how to write" off-topic on IPS?

VylixFirst, you may want to re-read this meta about phrasing request. We have agreed that phrasing request is off-topic. However, I believe that questions that asking "how to write" can be made on-topic by specifically making them asking about the guidelines of writing. These are the recent question...

@Tinkeringbell The really painful thing about the "is this NSFW?" question is that "NSFW" is in the eye of the beholder...and where do we draw the line, at the broadest level that allows the greatest variety of content, or at the narrowest level that doesn't offend even the most banal of sniffers and therefore gives absolutely anyone the chance to participate? It's a tough question IMO.
@Tinkeringbell Also I believe @Shog9 added terms to the blacklist to prevent those questions from hitting the HNQ.
3:57 PM
@TheTinyMan Very true.... My work allows a lot, but I would rather not have that question open or in sight with a manager looking over my shoulder
@apaul He did, I noticed that too.
@apaul Oh, good, I didn't know about that! I feel like that solves a lot of the problems of the pro-strong-response, uh, perspective.
Um... he said that he might if it became a problem... that doesn't mean he did it.
It didn't become a problem as far as I'm aware.
@Catija Someone posted a screenshot and he reacted there that he did... lemme find the link
@Catija Ah.
yesterday, by Tinkeringbell
in Tavern on the Meta on Meta Stack Exchange Chat, 2 days ago, by 6' white male
This is apparently prompted by that IPS post.
4:00 PM
Thought he already nixed it.
If you click the this, you get a screenshot showing Shog saying he removed it..
I blocked variations on the word "pornography" from HNQ.
Guess we can ask him now xD
@Shog9 That seems reasonable.
I'm not complaining either :D
4:01 PM
@Shog9 thank you.
@Tinkeringbell Well, that wasn't there the last time I looked at the screenshot. :P
Regardless of how y'all feel about the specific question, there are literally millions of people who use SO at work and didn't sign up for uncomfortable conversations with HR just 'cause they were trying to look up the syntax for some git command.
@Catija Just realized it wasn't a screenshot but a real message :P So might very well be ;)
@Shog9 Meh.... and what do we do when the CEO wants to see IPS? :P
Please keep this ^ in mind for all topics; y'all don't need to go nuts censoring titles, but please avoid unnecessarily crude or salacious titles whenever possible.
I just gave him a tour half an hour earlier :P
4:03 PM
@Tinkeringbell I would recommend Catija's question about email etiquette. It's broadly relevant to most people.
@Shog9 You seemed somewhat ambivalent when we were talking about it... so... I don't really care either way and I know that some chunk of people will simply be glad to have fewer questions on the HNQ.
@Catija I had quite a few things on my plate that day
Fridays can be like that.
if memory serves, I found myself editing regexs from a bar that evening.
on my phone
...i got it wrong a couple of times.
Do you ever take time off?
4:04 PM
@Shog9 At least there was alcohol. Did you at least have any kind of syntax highlighting going on?
no. On my phone, via a form clearly not meant to be used from a touch device while drinking.
But I did verify the question was gone from the list before I was done
*confused* I meant looking over my shoulder while I clicked things wanting to see IPS, not really seeing the relation to e-mail etiquette :/

At least I learned not to look things up and leave the chat/user profile open when he's around :P
Ouch, haha.
Seems like an opt-out for HNQ could be helpful for the more technical sites. Something like an option that let's people hide the list while they're working... Seems like I remember an old Meta.SE question about that @Shog9
@Tinkeringbell I think he means that if someone wants a tour of IPS, that's a good question to show them.
4:06 PM
@Tinkeringbell oh, I thought you meant "asked to learn more about the site"
@Catija Hahaha, I'll keep that in mind. I'll be recommending you to all C-levels from now on :P
Might even improve their writing skills.... :P
Pretty sure there's a userscript out there that will simply block the HNQ box.
@Shog9 No, they were definitely looking over my shoulder and I'm very glad that question wasn't on the active page right then! :)
@apaul this was actually implemented (complete HNQ opt-out) a few months back, but not rolled out due to some issues with rendering. Even if fine-grained filtering were implemented, there's still a slight issue with keywords getting dragged into Google results.
@Tinkeringbell mmm, yes.
Now, I'm just the cool female programmer with social skills :P I don't know what his opinion would have been otherwise...
4:08 PM
there are places where that'd trigger a "hostile work environment" investigation :-/
@Shog9 I think I can get away with almost everything.... they're sorta desperate for women? Not that I would want to, but I'm almost tempted to see how bad I can do before they'll reconsider ...
@Tinkeringbell For science!
@TheTinyMan Hahaha..... or just to be bitchy :P
@Tinkeringbell ... avoids obvious jokes about "desperate for women" ...
advice we've given other sites has mostly boiled down to:
- avoid keywords in titles that are likely to trigger web filters / automated censors (not just in the workplace - some libraries and even ISPs rely on such for all traffic)
- err on the side of "clinical" terms vs. common (vulgar) terms
- no explicit images (this is actually in the ToS, so... no exceptions)
4:10 PM
@apaul I prefer to keep the illusion alive that I'm there because my work is appreciated :)
But yeah.... definitely both ways those guys... :P
@Tinkeringbell Phrasing, just sayin
@Shog9 with the caveat that the title should somewhat prepare users for what they're going to find inside...
Refer to past discussions on Anime and Arqade for insight into how they've handled sexually-explicit media that would otherwise be on topic
@apaul I didn't do that one on purpose, I promise :) ... Just that this isn't my native language. I'm already bad at such things in Dutch, I can't even begin those in English...
@Tinkeringbell I know, just picking on you.
4:13 PM
@Catija yes, don't do the "make title so vague it means nothing" thing; err on the other side: be more verbose if you can by doing so make it less salacious while preserving the gist of the question.
@apaul Oh, that's bordering on bullying :P
@Catija yeah, but every random person browsing SO won't know about that.
@Tinkeringbell That's why I avoided the obvious jokes ;)
@Mithrandir Any more than letting people manually block it with something built in?
@apaul Btw, you can make them, I can handle and appreciate them :P But I don't know whether they will keep the chat family friendly ;)
4:15 PM
@Tinkeringbell It's a trap!
More people will probably figure out how to tick a checkbox than find and install a third party userscript.
Sniffers and filters are no small thing.
@Mithrandir So we shouldn't even bother with such a thing in the off chance that the devs implement it internally? I really don't understand your argument.
It's irresponsible to let people walk into booby traps
What? No, that's not what I'm saying.
4:16 PM
@TheSnarkKnight Now @apaul just spoiled my brain.... :P
@Mithrandir Then be more explicit? I don't understand the point you're trying to make.
scripts are good for solving a personal need. Not a good solution to a problem you've created for someone else.
@Tinkeringbell ROFL
@TheSnarkKnight I see what you did there...
@apaul I wish I could claim credit for being clever on that one, but it was just a happy accident...... this time
4:17 PM
@TheSnarkKnight Seems that sniffer isn't really working all that correctly after all :P
I'm saying that while a userscript works for one person, you, it really doesn't help the problem that Shog mentioned - that's it showing for other people, who may not be so familiar with the system..
Okay, back to business! :)
@Shog9 Any suggestion on how to reword the furry title to avoid the use of the word "pornographic"
@Tinkeringbell Just curious, but in the USA, we programmers are known for a distinct lack of... tact? and terrible IPS. Is it the same in your country?
@apaul what's the actual problem he's looking for a solution to?
4:18 PM
@Shog9 I'm not arguing with that? apaul was talking about a FR for something to be implemented by the site... I mentioned that I thought there was a userscript that did that already. I'm not saying the words shouldn't be filtered...
@Catija yeah, I think you & mith were talking past each other
@apaul "adult entertainment" or "mature content" or....
@Shog9 Basically, he wants to talk about that topic, with a person that he has seen exploring an interest, but that person isn't aware that he's seen it. And of course, it's highly taboo.
@Shog9 So he wants to know how to approach it, how to bring it up.
@TheSnarkKnight Most are considered to yes.... my company is offering a course of "soft skills for agile workers".... then again, it also depends a lot on the personalities in a team. You can have 4 people with terrible skills but different personalities and they'll manage, or 4 people that are all very dominant and don't have skills and are clashing horrible...
@Shog9 hmm, yeah, I do that sometimes. Whoops.
4:20 PM
@Shog9 Looking at chickens and what not... I think I got to the underlying problem in the answer, but how could the title be reworded to avoid issues when the OP doesn't necessarily know how to sidestep before an answer is provided.
@TheSnarkKnight For me, pornographic is the best. It's clear and shows what is meant. I'm not very familiar with the eufemism as a non-native speaker.
But that literally set off @TheStarkKnight's company's sniffer during the conversation
So, I might walk into a trap if it is used
@Tinkeringbell yeah, but that will trigger sweeps
@TheTinyMan he wants to know how to discuss a shared fetish with a family member?
4:21 PM
I didn't even hit ENTER, chat! >.<
@TheTinyMan You can edit your messages ;)
@shog9 Yes...although I'm sure that "fetish" will set off even more
Or delete them
@TheSnarkKnight Those would set off filters all the same?
@Tinkeringbell I know, but it feels good to yell at my software a little. :-)
4:22 PM
@Tinkeringbell for two minutes... unless you're blue. :P
@Catija Meh, if not, I'll be friendly enough to trash stuff :-) I'm the friendly garbage (wo)man
Actually, doesn't this beg the larger question as to whether adult entertainment topics should be off topic?
that's a question that, if this sort of topic arises often, y'all will need to discuss.
@TheTinyMan why does he want to do this?
@TheSnarkKnight Feel free to ask on meta if you want.
A: How do we deal with potentially controversial (but not NSFW) content in questions?

Robert CartainoI'm drawing on several policy guidelines we worked up from the now-closed "Sexuality" site which I'm going to echo here (outside of how the post above was handled specifically). When hosting a site that that might occasionally delve into frank and clinical discussions about human sexuality (or ...

4:23 PM
@Catija I may. it just struck me now.
@Shog9 That's a question that I don't remember if he answered, though I believe it was asked. We should dig up the question, just a sec...
Hmmm... If this IPS, discussing a 'sensitive topic' might very well require the same skills as discussing 'a pornographic preference' ??? ....
Hm, now how to share this without hitting @TheSnarkKnight's sniffer? :-p
@TheTinyMan don't bother; I don't have the time to dig into this right now.
4:24 PM
I'll be thinking :)
My point was simply to illustrate the questions you should ask yourself if looking to edit.
I see, sorry for misunderstanding. :-)
Always focus first on drilling down to the actual problem to be solved and expressing that
original authors tend to be extremely bad at summarizing their own questions; they're too close. A 3rd-party reader who has spent the time deciphering the question can often do much better.
but... You need the right approach.
Folks often go at these things from the angle of "what can I remove?" and that doesn't end well
@Shog9 Yeah.... I sorta feel that making titles longer often helps?
I like long titles a lot :D They're not always the solution but I do find people often seem scared of making them more than a few words.
4:33 PM
there's a sweet spot for click bait; folks tend to sorta learn this naturally and optimize for it - not necessarily consciously but fairly consistently.
@Catija Striking a middle ground is often a good idea I think. Too long and people skip it, too short and people don't know what the question is about.
you get more attention if your title length is 120 - 160 characters
OTOH, it's not necessarily good attention; if your title is vague or misleading, those are just folks who kibitz
@Shog9 Folks kibitz certain things regardless... Just sayin.
@apaul everything in moderation, including moderation :P
@apaul yes, especially when they've nothing important to say. There's a strong "empty textbox must type something" pull
ideally, you try to optimize views for folks who can either answer or benefit from an answer
worst case is a question that attracts folks who need an answer... to a completely different question
4:39 PM
Makes me wonder how much worse comments would be if there were a placeholder comment box.
@Catija Seems like I remember making that argument once upon a time... Moderation is a bit like trimming a tree. You only trim the things that need trimmed. Trim too much and you end up with a beautiful bonsai, but it'll never really grow.
Or you kill the poor thing...
Looks like someone is after my questions. :D
@apaul Nope, trim too much and you'll definitely kill it :P That won't make a 'beautiful bonsai' ;)
What's a bonsai?
Japanese miniature trees.
4:46 PM
4:55 PM
@Catija I tried growing a few, but they'll have to wait until I have my own apartment. My bedroom is too cold and drafty.
Q: How can I express my concerns about my underage brother drinking alcoholic beverages to him without sounding like I'm his mom?

TinkeringbellSo, recently my youngest brother (16) had a party of a classmate. Mom and dad did allow him to go, and he did just fine. He lived by the rules, he sent a message when he arrived safely and one when he started the bicycle ride back, was home sort-of on time. He only missed one rule: No alcohol. ...

If we're talking long titles, here's one! :P
Sup y'all
@apaul Not much.... My new desk chair got delivered today.... Can't wait to get home, assemble it and try it out :D
@Tinkeringbell Thought we were sharing regional greetings lol
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