The Awkward Silence

3:05 PM

@Tinkeringbell I'm not sure this one actually answers your question: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/8348/2262

It definitely didn't read my question... I want to know why mom won't tell me what's wrong, not convince her to forgive the neighbor

(Christmas drinks!)

Magisch

@Tinkeringbell dieting never works

When you change your eating habits its gonna not be a diet but just a change

(At least I never manifested the willpower to pull off a temporary diet change - its SO hard to hold on to)

Jarko Dubbeldam

3:23 PM

I'm not sure what to make of this comment

The problem is, the only reason this issue has been festering for four years is because OP's mom won't talk about it. OP indicated the neighbor has made several attempts to open up a channel of communication, and has been thwarted or rebuffed every time. The neighbor has been trying to relieve the tension, but OP's mom is refusing. I'm guessing the apology card was sent because the neighbor has been unable to successfully communicate in person and is trying to make her intentions known through other means now. — Doktor J 5 mins ago

@Magisch hmm, I recently stopped drinking beer outside of the weekends and switched from eating bread to knäckebröd

(of course that is mostly compensated by the fact that it is december, with all its festivities, but w/e)

TheTinyMan

@JarkoDubbeldam They may not be wrong but I'm not sure what they're suggesting change within your answer?

Jarko Dubbeldam

@TheTinyMan yeah, I'm not sure if they agree or not

@DoktorJ Agreed, but since the mom apparently hasn't been receptive of the neighbor's attempts, OP could step into the role of mediator, so hopefully ease the mother into the idea of reconciliation. — Jarko Dubbeldam 3 mins ago

Catija

@Tinkeringbell I wonder, is it necessary to say that your mom's a Christian? You could just say "my mom's usually the first to forgive". It seems to be drawing a lot of attention? Unless you want answers that address the religious aspect?

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Catija I think it'd be better to focus on her teaching to forgive

TheTinyMan

@Catija That stuck out to me, too. I inferred that forgiveness is an important part of your mom's view of her faith, @Tinkeringbell, and that that faith is important to her?

Jarko Dubbeldam

3:34 PM

Relevant:

6 hours ago, by Tinkeringbell

@JarkoDubbeldam That's one of the reasons why I didn't confront her with that yet, she doesn't really like me doing that because I'm not going to church anymore

Catija

@JarkoDubbeldam Sure. Either way, my point is that teaching forgiveness doesn't require that you be Christian, so if that's not a big focus of the question, it may be better to skip it.

Tinkeringbell

4:04 PM

Go for it, but if you can do so while leaving in the forgiveness part that would be nice ;) I have to go and catch a train, I can do it in an hour or 3 myself otherwise...

Jarko and Tiny were pretty right, I mentioned it because to me teaching forgiveness and christianity go hand in hand ... But I guess it can go

Anne Daunted

4:54 PM

@Catija I came across this effort at editing a deleted answer to one of your old questions.

Catija

@AnneDaunted Yeah. I've seen it. What's up?

Jarko Dubbeldam

5:17 PM

Hmm, vandalism on a deleted answer

Anne Daunted

@Catija Should the original post be edited back in or is it okay to "manually delete" a post this way?

Catija

@AnneDaunted It's been so long that i'm not really worried about it. It's not new. If it was something that happened just recently, it'd be one thing, but only some users can even see it and you can still see the edit history.

Anne Daunted

Okay, I just thought I'd bring it to your attention. I once asked if something like this was a polite thing to do and users told me it was considered vandalism over at TWP.

Jarko Dubbeldam

@IamSoNotListening thanks :)

IamSoNotListening

@JarkoDubbeldam Your Welcome. I may throw some bounty on it too.

NVZ

6:40 PM

...

Tinkeringbell

7:25 PM

Okay, I removed the Christian part and added somethings @AnneDaunted wanted to know ;)

Catija

7:42 PM

@Tinkeringbell Cool :)

It wasn't urgent enough that I wanted to change it but :P

Tinkeringbell

@Catija I hope the edit helps... I'm getting a lot of answers focused around the part that I want mom and neighbor to make up, while I really just want to figure out what's so horribly wrong...

I might start commenting soon ;)

Catija

I think maybe you need to make your bold sentence more definite?

Tinkeringbell

Yeah, I was thinking about that too....

Haven't come up with a nice phrase yet though...

I'm a bit empty tonight... :P

hows this? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/8334/…

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