The Awkward Silence - 2017-12-22 (page 1 of 2)

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12:12 AM

Hi @Catija

were are you from @Catija?

somewhere in Spain?

5 hours later…

5:36 AM

@apaul Any thing with more then 2-3 people at a time

I can't ignore noises and gestures very well so when 5 people are in a room and 3 conversations are happening simultaneously I get headaches because I can't ignore any but also can't follow all of them.

6:25 AM

@Magisch Ever sought help with that?

@Magisch That's being human, I guess. We can't shut off our ears like we do our eyes. Fun fact.

@NVZ Eh... Believe it or not, some people feel energized by social interaction.

@Magisch That's something I struggle with. I tend to be really good with text interactions and one-on-one interaction, but throw me in large group and my mind wants to track and respond to every conversation within earshot. #aspieProblems

@Magisch do you have similar reactions to other inputs? A weird hum in a room, that's probably the air conditioning, but you can't settle till it stops or you know what it is?

I can ignore repetitive noises if they stay the same

But if there's like a radio running in the background I will listen to 100% of what is said

I guess I'd be really easy to torture. Just put 3 radios with different channels in the room and I'd become insane within a couple minutes

6:41 AM

@Magisch sounds a little too familiar. Don't mean to diagnose or anything, but it may be worth looking into.

Any other sensory issues? How do you feel about clothes?

@apaul Clothes, I like. They're fun.

@NVZ More talking about this sort of thing:

user image

@apaul I usually take them off.

@NVZ in cases where you don't/can't does it throw your whole day off?

Ever lose the ability to communicate, because you're overwhelmed by a sensory thing? Tends to happen with me when I'm too happy, stressed, sad, etc. All the sudden, making the words becomes difficult, because I'm too preoccupied with whatever stimulus.

@Magisch does it feel like you can read facial expression, or hear what the person is actually saying, but it's especially taxing to do both?

7:14 AM

@apaul I'm absolutely garbage at reading facial expressions

Or any kind of body language. The little of it I can do requires concentration and it's only from trial / error learning

I can either listen to what you're saying or how you're saying it, not both

part of why I prefer online communication to offline is because I can mute it when I'm about to have a nervous breakdown and avoid that. Pretty hard to just extricate yourself in an instant irl

@D.Hutchinson Good morning! yawn

@Magisch Excuse me, bathroom break ;) But yeah, that's about the only thing

2 hours later…

Henry WH Hack v2.1

8:56 AM

I am making a recording about HWHHv2.1.1 :)

@HenryWHHackv2.1 Interesting ;) When will it be released? :)

Henry WH Hack v2.1

It's still in beta.

@Tinkeringbell I am making a video about it.

Me moinitoring for NAAs.

@HenryWHHackv2.1 Sounds good :D We get a fair deal of NAA's here ;)

Henry WH Hack v2.1

user image

See the pin tabs?

@HenryWHHackv2.1 Wow, you're on a lot of sites!

Henry WH Hack v2.1

9:07 AM

Some I don't even care about.

But I see 5 pinned, if I counted correctly :)

Jarko Dubbeldam

those aren't pins

those are tabs with new messages

(Sorry, I don't use Firefox :P )

Henry WH Hack v2.1

Yes the dot means new activity.

Jarko Dubbeldam

Same with chrome

user image

9:08 AM

Nope, I don't recognize that ;)

Jarko Dubbeldam

If you rightclick a tab, you can pin it

means they stay to the left, and don't have a close button

@JarkoDubbeldam I noticed ;) I never did that though, I just don't close them :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

Well, this is kinda nice, because they take less space

@HDE226868 made HNQ: worldbuilding.stackexchange.com/questions/100634/…

@JarkoDubbeldam If I open up enought tabs, they'll get smaller eventually ;)

Henry WH Hack v2.1

OK I am done with the demo video. (I didn't got much NAAs to flag only one.)

I chose the wrong time to make the video.

Jarko Dubbeldam

9:10 AM

@Tinkeringbell yeah, but this means the other tabs are more easily readable and browsable

Henry WH Hack v2.1

But at least I monitor when possible.

OK video done with two NAAs found.

:(

Not every time you find NAAs but at least I am still checking.

Henry WH Hack v2.1

10:05 AM

@HenryWHHackv2.1 test

Watch this video and see how I failed in the demo:

Well the failure wasn't my fault there wasn't much new answers at the moment. (You can't blame me.)

HWHH tries to find NAAs but fails!

Failed demo!

And after I stopped recording the new answers started coming in.

I sometimes do this for 5 hours straight.

Thanks for your responses! I like "She’s traumatised by the issue and that influenced her responses." from the answer by @Spagirl very much. Sorry for being so blunt, but your reasoning sounds pretty selfish to me. Doesn't the pain it caused and still causes your parents trump your curiosity ("understanding why", "am I being manipulated and why") and should be enough already to make you feel enough sympathy and empathy? They fought that battle (against a couple of neighbors) alone and protected you from it and were successful. — Anne Daunted 13 hours ago

@Tinkeringbell I tend to leave all my tabs open on every site, and all my chats open when I'm at my machine. This does mean I run around 100 tabs open in Chrome at all times, plus some Firefox and IE for work...

Henry WH Hack v2.1

I will check in with my main mod and ask some questions.

@AnneDaunted, ^^ Ouch, that hurts! Do you really think I'm being selfish by wanting to find out what makes my mom call me naive and being manipulated?

If I don't find out, I'll probably have to endure more of that, because I'll inadvertently make such a mistake again..

10:21 AM

@HenryWHHackv2.1 aaaargh - I couldn't get past the incredibly slow typing intro. I am interested in principle, but please don't expect people to stay if you enforce slow reading :-(

Henry WH Hack v2.1

OK.

It's just me suffering. (As I failed in the demo.)

I do this everyday now!

Today was my unlucky day.

@Tinkeringbell FWIW, I don't agree there

If she's gonna live with you and you're an adult you need to know

.

good friday!

@NVZ Uhh, no, thats the friday before Easter, not the one before christmas :P

@Tinkeringbell Nah, all Fridays are good. Please do not discriminate! :P

Enjoy!

Rebecca Black - Friday

Henry WH Hack v2.1

10:29 AM

That's why I wasn't successfully today. (It's Friday!)

and then... watch this!

Rebecca Black "Friday" (Brock's Dub)

Henry WH Hack v2.1

10:47 AM

@RoryAlsop Wait, "I am interested in principle" it's nothing special you know anyone can do what I do I only do this because I have nothing better to do.

[Chat Session Closed by]: HenryWHHackv2.1 | reason: This chat session has been closed because it is off topic.

Love those audit messages. :)

That's why I want to be a mod because of audit messages. :) (Not really)

HWHH out!

@HenryWHHackv2.1 See ya! (and again, you can be as off-topic as you want here ;) )

Henry WH Hack v2.1

The day when this rooms goes %100 off topic!

Jarko Dubbeldam

hmm

is the link to meta reviews new in the review tab?

Henry WH Hack v2.1

Is the full dark top bar new?

It's new!

user image

@HenryWHHackv2.1 not sure how new -- has been around for a wee while

Henry WH Hack v2.1

10:58 AM

For me anything that has been implemented within the pass day or two is new.

Travel.SE doesn't have the dark search bar.

Catija's hat got the 500 rep bounty on the hat contest: meta.stackexchange.com/q/304500/369802

@Tinkeringbell I feel a little bit bad for the only person with a negative score in that competition

-17

A: A Moose, Some Silly Putty ... And A Desperate Plea For Help

The proposed hat looks like a can of clickbait made of paper mache, and a printed label on it. The following image shows what the content of the can looks like:

@NVZ stop being so discriminatory - ALL days are good

and while we're on the subject, nights are too - so I won't hear a word said against them

...

Afternoons, however - they can just go jump in the sea

Not a fan of mid-afternoon

@RoryAlsop There was another one, but that one got deleted at -4 or something I think..

A spongebob avatar :P

I mean, come on, it people point out your hat is NAA, you can delete it instead of leave it to reach -17 :P

Or comment earlier to defend it :P

@RoryAlsop But definitely a fan of late afternoon here ;) Especially Friday afternoons :P

I vote to delete all hats as being off topic. None of them fit my head. One's got burning candles?!

You're welcome, I'm glad that answers: "Question: I'm guessing our neighbor did something that's even worse than the things I know about, but when I asked mom about it yesterday she wouldn't tell me. I'd really like to know why she called me out for being naive and manipulated, and understand her anger. How can I have a talk about the reasons for her anger with my mom, when only mentioning the subject pisses her off this much? I'd really like to find out what it is that happened that is so inexcusable she doesn't want to talk about it, or can find it in her heart to forgive, even after — Rob 5 mins ago

Huh? Anybody that can enlighten me on how my previous comment answered my own questions? :/

Mithrandir24601

11:28 AM

@Tinkeringbell Lots of people seem to be misinterpreting your question as some variant of "how do I mediate the interaction between parents and neighbours?" for some reason (the question is perfectly clear to me) :/

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell look at the comments, OP is saying they made the hat themselves

@JarkoDubbeldam That comment was posted yesterday.. that hat has been below -10 for the entire week!

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Mithrandir24601 I answered with that in mind at least. As in, how to find out why exactly, with as further goal how to mediate

Since the context is pretty similar

Mithrandir24601

@JarkoDubbeldam Yeah, that's the overall aim, but you still need to answer the question :P (I'm not talking specifically about your answer, just that there are a few answers near the bottom of the page that don't seem to do this)

Jarko Dubbeldam

yeah I know

Extroverted Main Man

11:43 AM

1

Q: How to make friends?

I moved to a different country. I've been here for a year but I still haven't made a friend. I study and I work. I thought I will be friends with some people, but over the time that has shown not to be true. I don't remember how I made friends before. It just sort of happened. Now I feel like I h...

@ExtrovertedMainMan TB

@Mithrandir24601 I know, but I must admit I edited the question yesterday evening to be more clear after a prompt from Catija

What are y'all doing for the holidays?

Jarko Dubbeldam

-1

A: How do I determine if a girl I am seeing is open to a relationship?

How do I ask out a girl who is flirty with me(like smiling at me,acknowledging me,praising me in front of her friends?) IT WOULD BE HELPFUL IF YOU WOULD PROVIDE A LINK TO THIS QUESTION OR GIVE YOUR OWN ANSWER I AM ASKING IT HERE SINCE I AM NO MORE ABLE TO ASK QUESTIONS ..DK WHY!

...

Is that 'abusive'?

11:50 AM

I just delete voted it

Jarko Dubbeldam

NAA imo

Oh then it's already gone ;)

Mithrandir24601

@Tinkeringbell This is exactly why I haven't flagged said answers :P

@Magisch I'm going to have dinner with mom/dad/brothers on the first day, and 'gourmetten' with same+grandparents on the second

nice

11:51 AM

I have a lot of crocheting and weaving to do, a new drawing tablet and a console for my pc to try out :P

Oh, and I'm going to get drunk on new year's eve to make visiting the neighbours bearable

You really like threads, apparently

Jarko Dubbeldam

brunch with my gf's family on 1st, dinner with mine on 2nd

(and the hangover will be a nice excuse to skip visiting family the next day)

@Magisch I do :)

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell the same?

@JarkoDubbeldam All of em

Jarko Dubbeldam

11:52 AM

eh, that's not as bad

I'm going to visit friends of mine for dinner tonight

I don't like the 'you have to go outside, shake hands and wait untill everyone goes inside again, then sit up straight and listen to gossip'.

Jarko Dubbeldam

hehe, a few years ago, I, my brother, sister and mom did drinking games on NYE

and then play video games all the holidays long, except on the 25th, where our company does some sort of christmas giveaway to kids in a hospital

@Magisch Sounds like a good plan too :)

@JarkoDubbeldam I wish my parents were that cool :P Maybe once my brother can legally drink? :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

11:54 AM

we were pretty much drunk at 9:30 lol

the day after wasn't fun

didn't have a hangover right away

I don't get drinking tbh

Jarko Dubbeldam

So I went back to Leiden by bike (~25km)

I'm off the wall and on edge enough as is - if I was drunk I'd be a nervous trainwreck

Jarko Dubbeldam

On the way, hangover kicked in. Was a hell

@Magisch Usually works in reverse for me, I can tolerate a lot more after a wine or two

@JarkoDubbeldam Ugh, that doesn't sound right!

Jarko Dubbeldam

11:55 AM

I generally don't drink a lot

@JarkoDubbeldam Me neither, which makes it pretty easy to get drunk enough on NYE

:P

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell basically, lost so much water on my way that I got hungover

@JarkoDubbeldam then you'll die of thirst.

@Tinkeringbell I never tried so I have no experiences with it but my entire family doesn't react well to alcohol, and my dad tried weed once and had paranoia for weeks afterwards

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell chances are I gotta BOB, so :/

11:56 AM

@Magisch Thaaaat doesn't sound right....

@JarkoDubbeldam Ugh, that's harsh! :P

Who talked you into that :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

Myself, it's either that or taking the bus

lol

I gotta work till 5pm, so if I go with public transport, I won't get there for another 2.5 hours

I'm looking forward to grocery shopping today /s

Jarko Dubbeldam

Since we're going to friends in Lekkerkerk

Waiting in line is exciting

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Magisch We usually do that on sunday

even more fun

11:58 AM

none of the markets are open saturday or sunday here

@Magisch We're all waitin in line to get lucky. / We're all waitin in line to get lucky.

@Magisch holidays are over, it's back to normal stuff now

@Mithrandir Okay, so what did you do? :P

I had donuts for a week :P

Captain Bohemian

today is winter solstice

12:08 PM

@Mithrandir So... is that tradition?

@CaptainBohemian Nope, that was yesterday

:P

Captain Bohemian

I saw a crescent moon in the west sky not long after sunset.

@Tinkeringbell eh. Define tradition

You could say that it is, and you could say it isn't

@Mithrandir I'm guessing you celebrated Hanukkah? (hope I spelled that right)... does it go with the religious tradition or is it more like Santa Claus? :P

More traditional is the lighting candles every night for eight days we all did

@Tinkeringbell hmm. Eating oily foods is sort of a new tradition, I guess.

Captain Bohemian

I am in CST, a time zone advanced than yours.

12:10 PM

And you could say that you spelled it correctly. I spell it Chanukah, though

@Mithrandir I'll try to remember that ;)

@CaptainBohemian define 'advanced' :P

Captain Bohemian

like my time has been Dec. 22 while yours is still Dec. 21.

It's been Dec 22 for over 14 hours here by now

Nope, it's Dec.22 here too, but solstice was Dec. 21? December Solstice in Universal Coordinated Time was on
Thursday, December 21, 2017 at 16:28 UTC

Captain Bohemian

December 21, 2017 at 16:28 UTC is Dec. 22, 2017, 00: 28 here.

12:16 PM

@Tinkeringbell I didn't mean to hurt you. After reading your question and what kind of reaction your behavior elicits from your mom, it was not yet clear to me, why you were doing that at all.

I do understand your desire to find that out, but not causing your parents unnecessary pain, and it seems to cause your mom a lot of pain. I wondered if it was really worth it.

Hmm... Well, she showed me the card, told me she hadn't even read it yet... When I saw the 'new years eve party at our home' bit, I told her because I didn't want her to find out on NYE and ruin that for her as well...

Basically, it's not like I'm pushing this topic every week, this will be the first time I'll try to have a conversation to try and find out what it is that makes her so mad.

I think it is worth it because she really sounded like there is something I don't know which I should know to prevent me thinking that what the neigbors did wasn't so bad

I could never talk about it, but that's not healthy for both of us... and I would have to lie about my relation with the neighbor just to keep her thinking I'm on her side

So it's not enough to know how your parents feel about it, you have to gather the facts and judge by yourself who is right or wrong and to what degree?

But the "facts" don't tell you that much about what it was like for your parents to go through all of that.

@AnneDaunted The facts allow her to make a call if her mom was unreasonable or not, though

No, I don't have to judge by myself who's right and wrong.... Indeed, it's not enough to know how my parents feel about it if they are going to take out that feeling on me

Also, the facts tell you maybe how it was, but when you're in the middle of it, you don't know how it will play out and you will surely worry more. So it's usually worse than the facts make it seem afterwards.

If you found out that your parents have been wrong all along - then what? Tell them they shouldn't feel what they feel? Maybe apologize to all the involved neighbors?

12:27 PM

Who said anything about being wrong? Feelings generally can't be wrong.

They do have reasons to feel that way though, and if mom is going to attack me for not understanding her feelings on the matter, then she should help me understand

At least, that's a very normal thing to expect from people where I come from

"they are going to take out that feeling on me" Then maybe talk to them about that, instead of defending that neighbor. View it as two seprarate issues.

@AnneDaunted Who said anything about defending the neighbor? That's a fallacy a lot of the answers there seem to make too

Could her behavior be a very broad hint that it's just too painful for her to share, to relive and that she's maybe also trying to protect you?

"We got into an argument, me arguing for the neighbor"

@AnneDaunted I think her behavior just indicated a severe hatred of a person...

Even if it wasn't your intention, i could very well imagine that it sounded like this to your mom.

12:29 PM

I know how my mom is when there's things that are painful for her to share, she's different then. She shuts up instead of going full mad

Yeah, so the arguing might have been wrong, I'm not saying we had a 'respectful discourse' and of course I made mistakes as well.

But after that I've still got no answer about what makes her react that way

I don't think that she owes you an explanation. About her behavior towards you - yes, but not necessarily about what happened with that neighbor. As I noted earlier, try to regard it as two separate issues.

And how is she going to explain her behavior towards me without explaining what happened that made her react that way?

Something like "I'm sorry for shouting at you and becoming angry. I know you were not trying to hurt me. But all whenever I even hear from her or think about her, all those memories of what they did and said etc. come back. It's just too painful and I don't believe in her sincerity. Please respect that and do not bring this topic up again."

@AnneDaunted Hmm.. if she really wants that, then she shouldn't hand me christmas cards or ask me 'what were you talking about'

She could do it by talking about how it affects her without talking about the facts.

12:39 PM

Yeah but the basic premise from your example here is that 'it's too painful when it all comes back'.... which sort-of mismatches a lot with handing me a christmas card or asking me what I was talking about when I enter the front-door after our neighbor was in her front-yard as well and we exchanged some small-talk

That example is not in your question (asking what you were talking about).

@AnneDaunted In what world is that reasonable?

If you're gonna react like they ran over your puppy, you'll have to be prepared to explain yourself

> I've had some interactions with one of our neighbors

But indeed, the asking what I'm talking about isn't there

@Magisch I can't follow you there. I said that this is something she could talk about with her mom. But it doesn't mean that her mom was obliged to share every detail of that prior courtcase etc.

@Tinkeringbell Who knows what happened during the courtcase... They were willing to go for it and probably didn't want to lose it. It's not unreasonable to suspect manipulative behavior from that neighbor. Maybe she spread rumors to incite the other neighbors etc.

That's speculation for me, because that's exactly what I don't know.... Maybe she did indeed spread nasty rumours about my parents and their still struggling with the consequences of that to this day... that's something that I could understand and show sympathy for...

But that still doesn't explain why she's so curious about my small-talk since that's something from after the court-case

12:51 PM

I suggest you to take baby steps, not try to achieve everything at once

@AnneDaunted Wouldn't she? Tinkeringbell is her daughter, you do share things with your children if the information is pertinent

"I don't want to talk about it but some stuff went down" wouldn't be satisfactory imo

@Magisch Apparently she doesn't. And she reacts strongly to it. And it may not be satisfactory in your opinion, but how far should children go to get information from their parents they don't want to share (and the children can live very well without knowing it).

@AnneDaunted no clue tbh, my parents have always been honest with me

that's great, but parents are still also human-beings and also do have the right to hide information from their children (for sure, there are exceptions).

Sorry fro causing so much trouble. I'm off now.

@Tinkeringbell I will delete that comment.

@AnneDaunted You didn't cause trouble, don't worry ;)

I was just curious as to your reasoning to say such stuff, since where I'm from parents are generally expected to either keep me entire out of it, or explain a little more

Not act like my mom did, by getting me both in the loop and keeping me out of it

1:05 PM

It drives me crazy when I'm kept in the dark...

@Mithrandir Well, apperently you've got some sort of screen in front of you now, so it shouldn't be that dark ;)

In other news - I'm sitting outside the windowsill on the second floor, and it's t-shirt weather

But cloudier than I'd expect

1:22 PM

@Mithrandir It is very, very misty here...

misty

@Mithrandir I want a tshirt weather too :(

IamSoNotListening

1:46 PM

Can this question be saved?

-5

Q: How to make friends?

I moved to a different country. I've been here for a year but I still haven't made a friend. I study and I work. I thought I will be friends with some people, but over the time that has shown not to be true. I don't remember how I made friends before. It just sort of happened. Now I feel like I h...

I threw a delete vote on it as I don't think it can.

@IamSoNotListening Just leave it hanging around until roomba picks it up

IamSoNotListening

@Tinkeringbell LOL

I like my delete super power...

Anyone want to take a crack at this before I give my bounty to an average answer?

23

Q: How do I deal with someone who makes more of my disabilities than I do?

I am taking a class and the instructor knows I am hearing impaired. The only accommodation I need is to sit in the front and to the left of the classroom and I can do the rest on my own. Between reading lips and sitting close enough, I never have a problem except in very rare instances. The ...

conversations disability school

But you only have a limited amount of votes... it isn't really fair to delete it right now... OP might be asleep and not seen our comments or still thinking about what to do with it...

I think we can delete very off-topic questions within a few hours.... Because they are very off-topic.

This got closed as too broad

@IamSoNotListening Give it some more time, you still have 4 days to award that bounty :)

3, sorry

IamSoNotListening

@Tinkeringbell he he he he....

I was told a couple super users might take a crack at it...

@IamSoNotListening Yeah, and as I said, I find it hard to come up with something that isn't in your answer already

IamSoNotListening

1:58 PM

@Tinkeringbell If anyone can you can.

@IamSoNotListening Meh, I'd have done the same: focus on the solution, not the problem.

Btw, I don't think that second answer about asking someone to fix it for you is all that bad :P

IamSoNotListening

@Tinkeringbell at the moment I am leaning towards Snows answer. It brings a different spin I hadn't considered.

Extroverted Main Man

1

Q: Is it considered rude to not shake hands when wishing a group of people Happy Christmas and the like?

At work I have a close circle of about ten people that I interact with frequently. Then there are some eight people I do greet on the aisle, but we do not work closely together. And then there is a huge group of people I pass when traversing the premises (kind of factory workers) that I greet but...

work-environment greetings groups

2:27 PM

0

Q: How much fun is allowed here?

I was thinking of asking a funny Christmassy IPS question, a bit like the questions over on WorldBuilding or Space: Santa's broke, how much does it cost for someone else to be Santa? How does Santa travel to other galaxies But to avoid a voting war: Do we allow such fun questions this time of...

2:41 PM

5 views and no upvotes... so probably not :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

>=| we hate fun

@JarkoDubbeldam Hahaha ;) I'm wondering if they'll allow it. Now that I think of it, both of those questions were posted by a mod...

I added that, I think it's an important fact to include ;)

@Tinkeringbell I think about 7

@RoryAlsop You should really post that as an answer :P

@Tinkeringbell 7 out of 10 fun :-)

2:52 PM

@RoryAlsop Which probably means fun is only for moderators? :P

sees a moderator is awake, starts jumping up and down and pointing at her meta question

I made a hat.

@Catija Another hat?

Or are you still talking the awesome edible one with a 500 rep bounty?

Extroverted Main Man

-1

Q: What does this comment made by my crush mean?

There is this girl whom I used to have a crush on in 5th grade. My crush gradually faded with time because we started studying in different classes. But again in 11th grade we are in the same class and we have become really good friends and my crush on her has resurfaced. My best friends know ...

relationships romance

@Tinkeringbell That one. Doesn't that count as fun?

@ExtrovertedMainMan Go away. I closed you already.

@Catija Oh yeah, that counts as fun :P But it wasn't IPS fun :P

@Catija Oh yeah, opinion based might have been better than off-topic here..

3:02 PM

It's probably off topic, too. But pob works.

Jarko Dubbeldam

> Difficult to judge it is if examples there are not.

someone is anticipating watching some movie

Sorry. I went last night.

Jarko Dubbeldam

Oh, I remembered incorrectly

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: What is happenning when you adapt your response and tone of voice based on the other person's style of response and tone of voice

Person 'A' might approach you to discuss topic 'B'. If their choice of words, or tone of voice appeared angry to you, you might retort in a similarly angry manner without even consciously thinking about this decision. But if the same person had discussed the same topic in a calm way, with a gentl...

conflict-aversion argument

@Tinkeringbell Of course - it's in our job spec: mods must be fun (on the inside...)

Jarko Dubbeldam

3:21 PM

@RoryAlsop You need something to lift your spirits from all that shoveling

Well, I added one example title... I need to think about the body some more maybe (@Catija, did you want titles or bodies as well?)... If anyone feels they have a better one, feel free to add it to the list ;)

@Tinkeringbell nah, that works.

Okay, thanks :D Let's see where the question goes then ;) I think the most important part is whether or not we allow regular users to post such questions

If we do, we might get flooded...

If we don't, I'm going to be disappointed :P

@Tinkeringbell I reckon the correct answer to your question is that you kiss them, surely...

unerneath the mistletoe

Well I got here at just the right moment xD

Introverted Meta Man.

4:21 PM

2

Q: How much fun is allowed here?

I was thinking of asking a funny Christmassy IPS question, a bit like the questions over on WorldBuilding or Space: Santa's broke, how much does it cost for someone else to be Santa? How does Santa travel to other galaxies But, since both of these questions were posted by moderators, and I wan...

3 hours later…

Extroverted Main Man

7:04 PM

0

Q: How can I identify a sincere vs. insincere apology?

(Inspired by another question.) How can I tell a sincere apology from an apology which is sincerely worded but not sincerely meant? I'm not worried about trivial things or situations which are obviously transactional to begin with, but for apologies about larger things--the kind of thing where ...

2 hours later…

8:46 PM

@ExtrovertedMainMan ugh, parasites.... that's not a good question... otherwise I would have asked!

@IntrovertedMetaMan. right now, I'm feeling grinchy enough to agree with @apaul there.....

@Tinkeringbell I'm grinchy enough too

@Magisch than upvote apauls answer :P

So I can see what you want ;)

Upvote apaul's answers ;)

2

@apaul haha... trying to get a hat? Link please :P

9:01 PM

@Tinkeringbell Nah, just tryin to be fun. I have a lot of answers out there.

@apaul that's true for me too :P

I'll make a round tomorrow okay; )

@Tinkeringbell Just jokes. No need to get busted for serial voting :P

@apaul hahaha... lol! I'll be careful, promised; P

I successfully dodged the company christmas party

No brain killing migraine today

9:25 PM

@Magisch grinch and scrooge huh.?

There's a cute guy and a cute dog here... not sure which to give attention?

@Tinkeringbell why not both?

@apaul hahaha.the dog won when the guy lit a cigarette :P

Both have boarded a train now though...

Were the guy and the dog together?

@IntrovertedMetaMan. Interesting thought.

@Tinkeringbell me too, when a cute girl that I consider approaching lights a cigarette, my heart drops :(

@Tinkeringbell what are your other dealbreakers?

9:39 PM

@D.Hutchinson Every time! D:

right, @TheTinyMan? it's sad :(

@TheTinyMan sadly, yes... no chance of keeping the dog :-)

@Tinkeringbell Aww :'( There could have been so much potential until the cigarette came out! D:

@D.Hutchinson dunno... dishonesty? Sounding like they're extra hard to be likeable?

yeah, those are good ones ... @Tinkeringbell

9:44 PM

@TheTinyMan especially for the dog :D

@Tinkeringbell how about ... social climbers?

@D.Hutchinson hmmm....that's difficult because I might be one myself ;-)

haha

me, too

@D.Hutchinson That's a weird thing to mark as a red flag. O.o Does that mean something different to you than what Google defined it as for me?

how does Google define it?

9:46 PM

"a person who is eager to gain a higher social status."

@Tinkeringbell, to elaborate:

google.com/…

I mean, a social climber that would go to great lengths -- even to exclude you from social events, if you weren't worthy enough, in some form

Ahhhhh

yeah, @TheTinyMan :)

9:48 PM

@D.Hutchinson hmmm not like that...I guess what I picked up was that a social climber was someone who came further in life than family ever did

Oo no, @Tinkeringbell

Like, I'm the only person in my family capable of finishing uni

@D.Hutchinson than I certainly dislike social climbers ;P

I meant like say someone who absolutely needs to date someone from a fancy university ... to climb up socially ... by association*

yeah @Tinkeringbell :)

congrats, btw :)

@D.Hutchinson That's just ass kissing

I'm proud of you @Tinkeringbell hugs

@Tinkeringbell yeap -- defined technically as social climbing, I think haha

9:50 PM

@D.Hutchinson hahaha :)

I am surrounded by social climbers ... it is tough to find someone genuine ...

@D.Hutchinson don't go looking :)

yeah -- I've been advised that too ... to not be so girl-crazy ... and just chill ...

Just wait and be yourself until you meet people that you can be friends with

yeah :)

9:52 PM

@D.Hutchinson hahaha it goes for regular friends too... as soon as you go trying you're not yourself and eventually things go horribly wrong

girl-crazy as in very quickly infatuated :(

yeah, @Tinkeringbell -- agreed ...

@D.Hutchinson ask the doctor for something to get your hormones under control ;)

hahaha ...

That's a pretty heavy-duty last resort but will work :P

yeah :(

@Tinkeringbell, how come you're not wearing a hat?

9:56 PM

@D.Hutchinson I'm typing from mobile again :P

I'm wearing a bowtie though, not a hat :-)

Your hat doesn't show up when you're chatting from mobile? O . O

Ohhhh, so you are xD

@TheTinyMan dunno but I can't see hats on mobile that's for sure!

@Tinkeringbell Well that's a shame!

@TheTinyMan why? Have you gotten a hat that needs admiring?

yeah, I don't see your bowtie :(

9:59 PM

@Tinkeringbell Nah, I was just surprised at your answer. :-P My hat is still the manorah. :-P

@D.Hutchinson It's small, click on her profile?

@D.Hutchinson are you on mobile too?

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