I'm asking here as my last resort.
I have a younger brother which will turn 30 in a few weeks and who has no clue what to do with his life. One could assume that he's old enough to make his own decisions but it affects also the life of other family members, especially the one of our mother with ...
I hooked up with a co-director of our lab at the holiday party this past weekend, and now things are a little awkward. We're both male and gay, and we had consensual, anal intercourse back at his apartment, with me being the receptive partner. Should I schedule a private meeting with him to dis...
I used the word anal once referring to weighing in grams. It got edited out when the answers and question were posted elsewhere. It only bugged me a little.
And only for a minute.
So, I really need to access my email (my normal email, the same one I've used forever) without my phone (still awol). Is there a way?
Yep. But now I don't have that phone. I got very confused with google ids, you tube ids, amazon ids, and missing cards inluding both my picture ids and my debit card.
Well, hopefully he will stop by and then it will be OK. I don't know how to reset the password if you don't have access to a phone. Were you not ever logged into your email on your computer?
We left it with him just saying he'd come by. I think he did come by while I was sleeping. I needed the sleep and did not expect him to take my phone. His intentions seen to be good, but the result is a big problem. I can make calls now using a Google voice "hangouts" number out of Texas. So I can make calls, but I can't get to my email - and I'm expecting important stuff.
Plus I have unlimited background checks I can supposedly run, but I can't see them. They are important to what I'm trying to unravel here, but it won't let me check the box that agrees to not use the information to do things I don't plan to do anyway. So I have not seen even my own report. Never mind the report of the person who seems to be very central to the whole thing.
More explanation here is dangerous to the case. The case that's important.
I finally spoke to one of the two people who have been helping with the apartment/cat issue.
If they show up before my ride to the DMV at 3pm tomorrow, I may be OK. If not, I can only hope that my camera sells for more than the hot check I will write tomorrow to get a state ID (just like a driver's license, but without driving permission because I can't pass a vision test). That's ok, I don't plan to drive again unless I can do it safely, which I can't with my vision and mobility issues.
I'm seriously overdrawn, in part because my hand trembled at just the wrong moment when I has looking at something I'd rather not discuss here.
$30 became $55 because I was already in overdraft protection.
That's fine. :) We'll try to get you back into discord. Do you not remember your password for that, either? Does your browser not save the password for you?
Me too. It's the second time this happens though, yesterday someone flagged the question from Mithrandir. That's why I'm peeved again, I had this discussion before.
LEAVE A COMMENT! when downvoting or close-voting
This one for example already had 3 close-votes for too broad, but no comment. https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/7949/1599
This morning I'm feeling a little grumpy about comments. :) Particularly, too many short answers being left as comments when they should be answers, or left off entirely.
Using the comments robs us of the ability to vote up or down or suggest edits, and basically defeats the functioning of the S...
> I'm too important to be expected to submit an answer and have the community decide where in the pecking order of multiple answers it should fall. My answers should always be at the top of the page, regardless of how the other users in the community view said answers, and should be sheltered from review and correction by the rest of the community.
From that post... That's a pretty sharp statement..
You can't expect people to leave a comment on everything they close vote or downvote - that becomes really tedious and annoying, and opens up the downvoter to revenge by the downvoted person.
While yes, I would appreciate knowing why my question was downvoted, and yes, I would appreciate knowing why someone cast a close vote, I don't think it's unreasonable to cast one or the other - or both - without a comment. It's a good thing to do, but shouldn't be necessary.
But I agree that when VTCing old questions it's good to leave a comment.
Preamble: these names all all fake to comply with site policies.
My common-law partner (Steve) and step-son (Ted) are fairly "indoorsy" guys, and have never even camped before (except sitting in an RV overnight). My husband continually asked a friend of ours, Antonio, to do a "guys hunting day",...
I think that's what makes this question being put on hold. (Personnaly I would have picked too broad/ unclear since it's just a goal that's lacking, not off-topic)
Hmmm.. I'll take a rummage on meta tonight (I've been way too little there lately anyways)... If we don't have a question, I might just ask one along the lines of: Are questions asking whether it's worth the effort to use IPS on-topic here
I hooked up with a co-director of our lab at the holiday party this past weekend, and now things are a little awkward. We're both male and gay, and we had consensual, anal intercourse back at his apartment, with me being the receptive partner. Should I schedule a private meeting with him to dis...
I'm struggling a bit with editing this one: https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/7949/my-brother-messes-up-his-life-and-those-of-other-family-members-by-doing-nothi
I think it needs to be pruned, but I don't really know where to start. A lot of the detail seems relevant.
@Tinkeringbell Well, I get the impression that many people are coming here to vent, rather than actually ask questions... but that's just my impression.
@Tinkeringbell well, I'm an impatient SOB, so there is that.... I think the dividing line is between "needed background" and "seeking justification/validation"
That too... But that's generally visible in other ways.
If I'm looking at a validation/justification question I most often see - One tried solution - A (ranty) story about that not working - A question that seems to focus on 'What went wrong here' instead of on 'What can I improve/try the next time'? (So, more focused on the past than on the future)
Even questions with a very short background can be 'validate me' questions
If there's an amazing background, but also an exhaustive list of tried solutions, that doesn't really read like a 'validate me'...
We love to spread freedom. Be careful or we'll bring freedom to you to
too
@RoryAlsop well, if you're Scottish, thank god for the internet, as it's the only way you'll ever get anyone else to understand you, who isn't also Scottish ;)
All hail the Scottish people, who have managed to frighten two of the most powerful forces ever to walk the earth. The Romans, and the Apple development team trying to get Siri to recognize the Scottish accent.
@Mithrandir dang, I would have been off by a few decades if I had guessed your age. You are VERY mature for a 15 year old. Either that or I am extremely immature.
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@Tinkeringbell they're thinking of making a special German edition of scrabble, but the gameboard is eight feet by eight feet and won't fit on most tables
Yeah, I think if they did explicitly say "You shouldn't talk to him, because..." it would at least answer to the question, but right now they only mention it as an aside at the very end
> The rest is a nice follow up for after that talk (if that doesn't lead to the result the OP desires), but not an answer to the question the OP has right now. 2/2
Time for a holiday-themed question.
I lead a small online group in an MMORPG. For the holidays, we decided to exchange gifts ala Secret Santa. As leader, I took it upon myself to organize the whole thing. We agreed on a budget, drew lots, setup a wishlist so people can get the item they want, a...
> I want to communicate to the gift-giver that they should at least give something near the budget, but I'm not sure how to: do I tell him that the recipient got upset? How do I tell him to send something more appropriate (up to budget), without upsetting him, too?
I want to communicate to the gift giver.
Not 'I want to communicate to the recipient'
So, it's either NAA, or VLQ (for not respecting the OP's request)
@Tinkeringbell I would not say anything to the giver. He gave what he thought was appropriate according to the rules/social expectations that he was aware of. -- Answer + Reasoning.
I don't particularly like answers that say "There's no interpersonal solution here." Two points spring to mind:
It's very, very hard to show that there's no interpersonal solution to an interpersonal problem.
It's very, very easy to claim that there isn't and then write a non-IPS answer.
Prob...
I think that applies here too, the answer is very 'easy' to say....
It's very, very hard to show that there's no interpersonal solution to an interpersonal problem. It's very, very easy to claim that there isn't and then write a non-IPS answer.
@apaul yeah. i want the wisdom of the community to correct my course if i'm on the wrong track rather than give me nitrous and boost in the wrong direction.
i understand that we want to "respect the OP's premise". But OP is just one soul. A human soul. A human error-prone soul. The community is all-knowing, all-wise. The community shall guide the OPs, not be their yes-mens.
@apaul Hmmm.. but is this really a frame-challenge? It's not explaining to the OP why such a talk will definitely make the gifter upset. It's only saying this user was withing the rules, something the OP already knows and acknowledges!
eh, I am leaning towards this one being okay because he explains why not to say anything to the giver this time, but gives a suggestion for how to communicate in the future (set a min/max) to avoid a repeat
@Tinkeringbell NAA flags are supposed to be reserved for those that aren't answers at all. You can just go ahead and downvote anything you disagree with instead.
i used to hate SE for making a dozen different comment flags, where I had to put more effort choosing the right comment flag than the commenter had to put commenting.
I usually flag the post when comments need purging, rather than flagging individual comments. If it's a single comment I usually ignore it if it isn't rude or an answer.
Time for a holiday-themed question.
I lead a small online group in an MMORPG. For the holidays, we decided to exchange gifts ala Secret Santa. As leader, I took it upon myself to organize the whole thing. We agreed on a budget, drew lots, setup a wishlist so people can get the item they want, a...
I don't particularly like answers that say "There's no interpersonal solution here." Two points spring to mind:
It's very, very hard to show that there's no interpersonal solution to an interpersonal problem.
It's very, very easy to claim that there isn't and then write a non-IPS answer.
Prob...
