The Awkward Silence - 2017-12-11 (page 1 of 3)

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Extroverted Main Man

1:08 AM

0

Q: Roommate entering my bedroom and stealing from me, when I'm not at home,

These last several weeks we've been living with a new male roommate, and I've been noticing lately that my wallet's missing cash - if I went to the ATM to take out a $100, and spent $20 on food for one day, the next morning when I start my day, I should have about $80. Instead I have about $20 -...

1:28 AM

@JarkoDubbeldam If you're going to flag every comment (or nearly every comment) please, just use a custom flag on the post the comments are on. There's no need to waste your flags on 20 comments on the same post.

2 hours later…

3:11 AM

@Catija He is just trying to get Marshal badge. ;)

Henry WH Hack v2.1

How about using the flags on 20 questions?

I know many doing that to reach 500 mark.

Henry WH Hack v2.1

I haven't passed 80 yet.

3:28 AM

Well... I can't really flag stuff, so... :P

Henry WH Hack v2.1

You being a mod can only single hand flag.

Flag once and let the action be done.

But mods don't generally flag... unless something is blatantly abusive. We just delete.

Henry WH Hack v2.1

Right because why flag it single handed when you can just delete it single handed. (Makes sense!)

I am making a full recording of StartUps.SE from now to when ever it gets closed. (For anyone who wants to look back and see the site.)

Not %100 full but you know.

4:00 AM

@Catija LOL.

3 hours later…

Jarko Dubbeldam

6:39 AM

@Catija allright, my bad

@Tinkeringbell needles, pins w/e

7:12 AM

morning

Jarko Dubbeldam

the entire country has grinded to a standstill on the first bit of snow

typical

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Husband's former friend hit my son during a bow hunt - how to proceed?

Preamble: these names all all fake to comply with site policies. My common-law partner (Steve) and step-son (Ted) are fairly "indoorsy" guys, and have never even camped before (except sitting in an RV overnight). My husband continually asked a friend of ours, Antonio, to do a "guys hunting day",...

friends relationships family acceptable-behavior

8:04 AM

@Magisch morning

@Catija I know that some mods and staff members use flags to delete comments... I'm not sure why though, clicking the 'x' is much easier :P

@Tinkeringbell Where does one acquire alpaca wool?

Alpacas are seriously fluffy

@JarkoDubbeldam Yep... I'm having a lazy standstill day at home :P

@Magisch At the wool shop? We have this cute little shop in town where they sell all kinds of yarn/cotton/wool

I should learn to work with wool

make myself a scarf

@Magisch That's seriously the easiest thing to do. I'd go with crochet, I find it easier than knitting ;)

You can also go needlebinding if you want something a bit cooler (it's Viking stuff)... But that's slow going...

Jarko Dubbeldam

What do you guys think of this suggestion for that hunting topic?

You can make this question on-topic simply by changing Should Steve and I try to talk to Antonio again, or seek legal action against him? to

Let's say I don't want to seek legal action against Antonio. How to stay stay friend with Antonio without ruining my relationship with Ted?

. — nic 15 mins ago

8:18 AM

scarf made from alpaca wool sounds appealing

Jarko Dubbeldam

I think it's a step in the direction of on-topic

only OP knows what they actually want

could be that they're actually looking for a socially acceptable way to end the relationship with antonio

Jarko Dubbeldam

true

we can't assume motivation to such an extent. The edit that needs to be done here can be done by OP only, which is why I voted to close

flag-pls, del-pls, dv-pls | VLQ | How do I ask for a receipt without implying distrust?

Jarko Dubbeldam

8:20 AM

But if OP doesn't seem to be interested anymore, it could be mutilated to turn into an interesting question

@JarkoDubbeldam Hmmmm..... I think when edited like that, it won't really fit the 'does not require extended discussion'.... --> We only have 1 part of the story and even that isn't black-and-white.

flag-pls, del-pls, dv-pls | NaA | How do I ask for a receipt without implying distrust?

Jarko Dubbeldam

'does not require extended discussion'

?

@Mithrandir I got to those already...

And something has a red dot in the review queues, I'm assuming LQP

8:24 AM

@JarkoDubbeldam Yeah... from that good subjective, bad subjective post. A good subjective question doesn't require extended discussion...

@Mithrandir indeed

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell Well, but the question isn't to pick sides. The question is how to find out who's lying.

flag-pls | NLN | How do I ask for a receipt without implying distrust?

Jarko Dubbeldam

As in, how to approach that

I don't think taking a off topic question and making it into something else entirely without OP input is a good way to go about things

Wait until someone actually has the problem you want to answer, then answer it

@JarkoDubbeldam Than make that really, really bold..... And I agree with @Magisch...

But that's not to say no-one can try... I once nicked a sentence from workplace meta claiming "If the question is already closed with no answers, have at it (anything is better than a no-answer closed question)"

8:27 AM

Our edits should be focusing on coaxing out what OP wants in a format and formulation that fits IPS best

Jarko Dubbeldam

I don't really agree. The question belongs to the community, not the OP necessarily. Sure they have a say in it. But if they abandon the question, I see no objection in trying to salvage it, since it does have a seed of an interesting question.

@JarkoDubbeldam At least, wait until it gets closed (so, 9 days after it's put on-hold)

protect-pls | How do I ask for a receipt without implying distrust?

@Tinkeringbell 5, no?

@Mithrandir Oh, 5 days :)

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell sure

OTOH, discussing ways to salvage is useful to OP as well, since that gives them also information on what might be OnT

8:32 AM

@JarkoDubbeldam That's true.... I think the comment from nic is majorly different from what I'm reading in the question, which is indeed more like 'how can I find out who's lying'.

Jarko Dubbeldam

It's hard to distill an ontopic question out of something that is off-topic. I guess there are multiple possible interpretations

@JarkoDubbeldam Yes. And that's exactly why I'm not fond of editing things without input... I've seen it happen, I spent a week trying to get a question put on-hold, and people just kept editing in disclaimers and making the question broader...

That monser question is still around... :/

@Tinkeringbell which?

@Mithrandir The 'I want to dismiss a street vendor and all guys are creeps btw' one

Jarko Dubbeldam

oh that one

Editing without input in itself isn't bad. The problem arises when multiple people with different intentions do it at the same time, all the while the question is gaining answers.

8:38 AM

@JarkoDubbeldam Well, these edits were a bad example, IMO.

"Oh, people are saying there is already a question about street vendors? Then let's add a disclaimer saying it could be any guy I meet...." :/

How to dismiss any guy I meet in my life is too broad :P

How are people meeting all of these people to dismiss

more specifically, what makes you think you have to dismiss so many people and doesn't that sound a bit arrogant to generalize like that

@Magisch Well, I don't mind 'dismissing' street vendors. They can be a bit assertive here, stepping in front of you all of a sudden...

But yeah, in general, dismissing sounds a bit arrogant.

Jarko Dubbeldam

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/posts/4504/timeline

22 edits

@JarkoDubbeldam And most of them just adding a few words here and there in response to a comment stating 'that's still not good'... --> Yay, another disclaimer :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

Yeah, so there is a difference between editing to change and editing to add.

8:42 AM

I just think we shouldn't be appropriating other people's questions and entirely changing them

@JarkoDubbeldam Also, this was clearly one of those questions where the OP was just looking for validation...

focus, sure, clarify, sure, bring on topic, sure, but don't change everything about it

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell Oh sure enough.

just a little bit of snow and there is chaos in the netherlands :P

Because the first revision AND answer stated she was basically afraid of any male person, and that she thus might be better of looking for professional help... The OP directly bashed that answer as 'not nice'....

Jarko Dubbeldam

8:43 AM

@Magisch how would you go about bringing a question on topic without changing everything about the question?

otherwise you could have OP coming back days later and invalidating a bunch of answers by making their own edits

@JarkoDubbeldam if a question needs to be rewritten entirely to become on topic it's better off closed imo

@Termatinator I thought the chaos was limited because we came to grinding halt?

Well, anyway, that's the example of how NOT to do it :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Magisch Do you see question as the part with the ?, or the entire post?

Because that matters for my understanding

The essence of what they want

Jarko Dubbeldam

But if it is off-topic, there is nothing to do but change what they want, because what they wanted was off-topic

8:45 AM

Well yeah

so it gets closed

Jarko Dubbeldam

I understand not changing too much if it is broad or unclear

and eventually deleted

If you shape it into something else entirely to keep it open OP might come back and assert that this is not what they wanted and then change it back

and now you have a bunch of invalid answers

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Magisch the post isn't theirs anymore though. If they change it again, that's pretty much vandalism and should just be rolled back.

if they abandoned it to the point it get's closed, by all means try to make it good content for the site

@JarkoDubbeldam Thats not true

vandalising a post isn't allowed, but neither is appropriating OPs question to make it into your own

there was a meta about this somewhere

175

Q: What is the etiquette for modifying posts?

I'm getting pretty close to the reputation where I can start to edit others' posts, and I'm wondering what the etiquette for when (and when not) to do so. I figure that I should edit in the following circumstances: Grammatical or spelling errors. Clarification where the meaning is not changed....

support faq edits etiquette

Relevant portion:

> You've provided a great list that matches well with my expectations of our community. You edit to make things better, clearer, more effective -- never to change meaning.

@Magisch Yes, that's exactly a good point

8:50 AM

So in essence we edit to coax out the IPS question OP has already had but hasn't formulated very well, or we cut non-IPS parts from questions if they're not relevant. But we can't go around entirely reshaping a question because the setting OP provided could make for a interesting different question.

Jarko Dubbeldam

hmm

Also read Jeff's blog, which helps a bit

Seems weird though.

I understand why this attribution is so relevant for answers

@JarkoDubbeldam Which makes me wonder if that 'I'm afraid of all guys' question would have been locked/deleted if I just had reverted those edits/disclaimers ....

Jarko Dubbeldam

For questions, especially closed questions with 0 answers, I don't see the issue, other than the chance of OP coming back, turning it into a different question and messing stuff up

In this case however, if the OP disagrees with the edits made, they can just make a new question

@JarkoDubbeldam So can you if you want to use OPs setting for a different question entirely, no?

It's not really fair for you to write an entirely new question in OPs post that is attributed to OP, no?

Jarko Dubbeldam

good point

9:05 AM

You might also take a look at the question in question here: interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/2246/…

9:32 AM

This is some messed up weather here

@Magisch Yeah, I read about it, lot's of snow there too huh?

@Tinkeringbell Yesterday we got 25cm fresh snow and then this morning temperatures got high enough so it started raining

well, the ground's still frozen so we now have aquaplaning + freezing rain on wet snow-mush background

pretty much your worst nightmare in a car or on a bike

and it's windy. So the +4C feels like -5 in the freezing rain/wind combo

@Magisch 13 cm snow here, I think there's still 7 or 8 left (we had a bit of melting). Right now, they're predicting more snow at around 2 o'clock

We had rain too in other parts of the country.

@Magisch Yuk!

9:47 AM

Anything interesting happen over the weekend and friday while I was gone @Tinkeringbell?

@Magisch Here? Not really. We celebrated Sinterklaas on Friday evening (since the 5th of December didn't work for any of us). Had a driving lesson on Saturday, spent the afternoon shopping. Spent all day yesterday underneath a blanket/building a snowman all the way to the gutter of the house and hauling sleighs

No interesting IPS questions :P

I spent saturday deep cleaning my apartment

@Magisch boring :P Or did you encounter anything interesting?

no

spent the rest of saturday, most of friday and all of sunday doing either chores or playing video games

boring existance

Jarko Dubbeldam

hey it's started snowing again

10:09 AM

@JarkoDubbeldam Not here... :( I think I'll have to wait till after 12

But, it's cold here. Time to make myself a pot of tea :D

...does anyone see the value in this comment?

She probably just messaged her friends "look what a handsome guy I saw on the bus" — mathreadler 2 days ago

@Mithrandir no, that is chatty

I flagged it

these are comments not random gossip / quips

I flagged it 20 hours ago, was declined.

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Mithrandir same

Even if you're extremely generous thats a half/non answer in a comment

10:12 AM

custom flagged it now

flag-pls | NLN | How to deal with someone secretly taking pictures of you

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Mithrandir that's borderline r/a

flag-pls, del-pls, dv-pls | VLQ / NaA | How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset?

@Mithrandir asking people to downvote is treading dangerous territory imo

there is a delete vote of mine on there already, though

flag-pls | NLN | How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset?

@Magisch hmm, I don't think it's worse than asking people to flag it, but you have a point ;)

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Mithrandir the two above that are boo as well

10:22 AM

yup

I think reminding people that downvotes are needed to keep things delete-able is okay... We still need to get that voting culture going.

Outright asking for them might be a bit much though

@Magisch any idea on how to do that?

@Tinkeringbell Not sure

We've already had a meta post on voting, didn't we?

'this seems VLQ, but has a positive score'

chat is good and all, but there are like 5 regulars in chat

discussing site policy here and making decisions is sort of exclusionary

@Magisch Hmm... but what @Mithrandir is doing seems to be working better than that meta post

10:26 AM

The problem there is that meta is just as dead

...IPS question: "How do I ask an IPS question about someone who I know will eventually read the question?"

(that's one reason I'm hesitating to post my question :p)

@Mithrandir you can generalize that as "How do I seek advice concerning interactions with someone when that person will likely read the post?"

@Mithrandir Can you easily obscure the identity of the people involved? Make a 'sister' instead of a 'brother' and do something with age/timelines?

takes the meta angle out of it somewhat

(Not: This happened last week on wednesday for example)

10:29 AM

@Tinkeringbell Nope, who it's about would be immediately apparent to the one who read the question.

I'm biased in this but I hate people trying to hide these things from me with a burning passion

Jarko Dubbeldam

yay, starting to snow a lot

Q: How do I raise the issue of my brother reading what's on my screen with him? -

A: Well, now that I've read your question about me, I guess I can stop looking, especially when you're doing moddy stuff...

@JarkoDubbeldam :( Still dry as a bone here

Jarko Dubbeldam

but it's hard to photograph

10:31 AM

@Mithrandir If that solves it, why not post it?

@Tinkeringbell well, I've no idea if it will

@Mithrandir "Stop looking at my screen you oaf"

Alternatively, remove the polarity filter from your screen and wear polarity filter applied glasses

Jarko Dubbeldam

lol

but I know he read my last IPS question, so I assume that he would find this one too

@Mithrandir Hide it :P

10:33 AM

how would I do that?

Jarko Dubbeldam

other account

get someone else to post it for you or use a sock?

the situation is specific enough that I don't think that would help

@Mithrandir There might be a lot more people with annoying siblings than you think ;)

sure, but not many with a 15-year old SE mod involved :P

10:35 AM

@Mithrandir Is the 15 year old part relevant for what you'll ask?

yes

Also, there are other under-18 SE mods

Why?

Jarko Dubbeldam

Or you could change the website

because it's kinda necessary background info, IMO

10:35 AM

I think I could write that question... Is it only about the SE modding stuff?

@Mithrandir Are your parents still monitoring your internet activities? If not, you could just state that...

No. But one of the major causes of annoyance is that I'll leave a mod page open and he'll try to read it. I'm really uncomfortable with that.

You're old enough to use the internet unsupervised :P

@Tinkeringbell that's... debatable.

@Mithrandir I can understand that...

Jarko Dubbeldam

non-IPS solution, screen lock

10:37 AM

@Mithrandir depending on how specific SE is about the mod agreement, that might be a sizable violation of the mod agreement third party rule on PII

I need to get a password to use the computer still (although I don't to get on my phone), which contributes to this question

@Magisch exactly

> [...] I acknowledge that I may have access to potentially personally-identifying information about Stack Overflow users and that in connection with such access [...] I will not disclose this information to anyone, [...]

> I acknowledge that I may have access to potentially personally-identifying information about Literature Stack Exchange users and that in connection with such access

I will use such information solely in accordance with the then-current Privacy Policy of Literature Stack Exchange,

I will not disclose this information to anyone,

I will not store or copy this information and

I will only use such information in connection with performance as a Literature Stack Exchange moderator for the benefit of Literature Stack Exchange.

:/... difficult one.

Jarko Dubbeldam

Ugly, the more you make a fuss about it, the more interesting it gets

10:39 AM

And if I'm in the middle of, say, looking at a voting ring I don't want to have to close all my pages.

Because it can be a pain to find them all again.

Jarko Dubbeldam

But is it that he's walking in, or that you're afk?

Is he looking over your shoulder or while you're not there

Both, kinda

Jarko Dubbeldam

honestly, I don't think it's bad if he sees the question

maybe that'll make him realise it kinda is a big deal

Mhm.

@Mithrandir Sounds like the only solution you can use that'll not put you at risk of getting CMs very angry at you will be to lock the pc when you're away and forbid him from looking

Do under 18 mods need to inform their parents that they signed the mod agreement? if yes you may have a case with your parents there

Jarko Dubbeldam

10:42 AM

@Magisch else you might just voluntarily inform them

Yeah, have you asked your parents what they can do?

Yes, they said that they didn't think it was a big deal :/

@JarkoDubbeldam Yeah but that might backfire. Like "You signed this without our permission?! resign right now and you're grounded for a month"

I know parents like that

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Magisch ugh

in The Reading Room, Feb 22 at 11:33, by Mithrandir

(Parents said yes)

but I didn't show them the mod agreement

10:44 AM

@Mithrandir Well, show them then.

Maybe mix in how you can be sued or worse if your brother reads anything he isn't supposed to and lets that on to someone

I think I'll just ask the question and have him see it :P

sounds to me like it's a question where the predominant answer will be "have your parents enforce your privacy" tbh

which isn't a real IPS answer

and then I'll flag it

Jarko Dubbeldam

Or 'just lock your screen'

he knows my password

and I kinda don't, again because parents

Jarko Dubbeldam

10:46 AM

'get a different password'

"Get a different password, ensure he never is on your pc, have your parents forbid him from looking"

that'll be the "easy" answers

and all of those won't work

@Magisch That'll also be the non-IPS ones ;)

What are we focusing the question on? Talk with parents or brother?

brother

See, make that bold! :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

10:48 AM

I guess punch him in the face whenever he's looking isn't a solution either :/

damn, IPS is hard

11:00 AM

Hmm. What to tag, what to tag...

family, naturally, but what else?

half-tempted to do online-interactions :p

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to talk to grandma about money she promised me

About one year ago my grandfather died of cancer. Now my grandmother lives alone and got rid of most of his things over time including a model railway. As a child, I spent many hours at my grandparents, building it together with my grandfather. Some of the parts we used, were gifted to me on bir...

...well. There's no turning back now.

(asked)

@Mithrandir Looks good ;)

hmm, @JarkoDubbeldam, I was hesitant to add the united-states tag because we're actually not living in the States

Jarko Dubbeldam

ah

11:10 AM

but we're from the States

Jarko Dubbeldam

I guess that's the most fitting then

else vtc-pls too broad :P

jk, if you really want it gone, go ahead.

nah, whatever

flag-pls | NLN | How do I raise the issue of my brother reading what's on my screen with him?

Btw, what I'm not seeing... Did you already explain to your brother the mod agreement and the rules? Are you looking for a way to do that? SNOWING HERE! Or are you already past that point?

Jarko Dubbeldam

SNOOOOOOWWWWW!

@Tinkeringbell I've told him that I don't think he's allowed to see it, but it's also not only about the PII stuff, which is what the mod agreement is out

for instance, while the TL isn't PII, he still shouldn't be reading it

11:14 AM

@Mithrandir True enough.

@JarkoDubbeldam Wish mom was home already. She's out working :/ Just hoping she gets home safe...

Jarko Dubbeldam

hmm

My brother was supposed to go to the zoo today, to catch birds and quarantine them (avian flu, ophokplicht)

Jarko Dubbeldam

Was driving yday afternoon, home from the midwinter fair

Glad he stayed home

@JarkoDubbeldam Than I'm glad you got home safely :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

heh, doing 30 on a 130 highway

tbh, some people were driving dangerously slow

11:17 AM

flag-pls, del-pls | VLQ / NaA | How do I raise the issue of my brother reading what's on my screen with him?

Extroverted Main Man

2

Q: How do I raise the issue of my brother reading what's on my screen with him?

Okay, so a bit of background: I'm 15, and my brother is 19. I technically have my own laptop, but I still need to ask someone to put the password in for me (because parents). My brother knows the password, so I will ask him sometimes. Now, I mod a Stack Exchange site. This is not immediately vis...

united-states family boundaries

Jarko Dubbeldam

trying to enter on a highway at 25km/h is just dumb

did you inflict your weekly reign of terror on the SO mods yet, @Mag? ;)

Jarko Dubbeldam

weekly?

@JarkoDubbeldam Yeah, but it's the entry lanes and exit lanes that are most prone to being slippery...

Jarko Dubbeldam

11:25 AM

@Tinkeringbell exactly, so going so slowly the cars behind you have to break because they would roll down faster than you is very dangerous

going slow doesn't help much when slippery, especially when you're forcing people behind you to break

@JarkoDubbeldam yeah, data.SE only updates once a week

Jarko Dubbeldam

ah right

was wondering which feature was weekly

flag-please | NLN / Answer in Comments | How do I raise the issue of my brother reading what's on my screen with him?

tempted to mod abuse to edit that

@Mithrandir Into what? :P

It's an answer in comments

Jarko Dubbeldam

11:31 AM

into an answer, so it can be downvoted again :p

@Tinkeringbell your chat message

@Mithrandir Oh... feel free ;)

I can't edit comments on IPS, I'm not an IPS mod :P

@Mithrandir No

I stopped doing that when I was prepping for the CoC exam

dear god I haven't done that in at least 4 weeks

Hahaha ;) Well, I'm off for lunch. Hope that user doesn't stir up any more trouble

Did about the same last week. Posted a non-IPS answer in comments first (underneath my answer). Then, made it into a stand-alone answer. It eventually got deleted but I had to call in mods :/

11:34 AM

@Magisch hehe, I'm sure JNat's happy

@Tinkeringbell so'm I, actually :O (off for lunch)

@Mithrandir damn

Since giving an answer which solves your security issue and keeps you from willingly breaking the rules you signed is obviously not appreciated, I will delete that answer, but leave this comment, as the only way to follow rule ii.b is protecting access to your SE mod-account: log out of your SE account before locking your pc. You cannot do anything to prevent your brother from looking at your SE stuff if you do not do that as long as he has access to your laptop. — oerkelens 23 mins ago

Someone throwing serious shade

> Since giving an answer which solves your security issue and keeps you from willingly breaking the rules you signed is obviously not appreciated [...]

yup

In b4 someone actually runs and moans at the CMs with this

11:50 AM

ha

that's why I made sure to clarify that he's never actually looked at the PII

@Mithrandir you sure it's a good idea to call out you know what chatroom by name?

@Magisch it's all over Meta Stack Exchange

@Mithrandir Even I know it exists

Everyone knows it exists, but it's sort of an open secret anyways

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/review/reopen/5428 What's still here making it too broad? The initial comment by @apaul was fixed, and I'm not seeing any others?

@Magisch ^ Looking at you :P

12:06 PM

> How do I tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories that they're wrong without making them feel stupid/upset?

The answers and degree of care you have to take are extremely dependant on which conspiracy theories they are, and what background you have to argue against them

Also the question is just inviting answers like "You know flouride is actually bad for you..." and then have a citation war about flouride influence and similar things

@Magisch The contents are secret. Not its existence.

@Magisch Okay. That helps ;)

should have maybe written a custom close reason

but alas, lazyness strikes

"$conspiracy theory$ is obviously BS, how can I tell someone that without offending them" is just asking to have defenders of such conspiracy theories appear in the comments imo

@Magisch True. I'll write a comment ;)

Well, this is very broad. What do you want to do most? Express your concerns for her health issues? Be able to eat chocolate in front of her again (have her stop commenting on your life?)... Telling someone that they're wrong is very broad. What would be your preferred goal, if you can only tackle them one at a time? — Tinkeringbell 2 mins ago

Also, maybe this question about arguing science with a passionate non-scientist may have some interesting help. — Tinkeringbell 46 secs ago

How's that?

sounds good

12:37 PM

@Mithrandir I answered your Q

tried my best to stay in the constraints of it, but the answer might still be not that great

@Magisch It's not the worst I ever saw :P

Thats a low bar

@Magisch Hey ;) It's a good one, don't worry :)

@Magisch interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/7919/… your answer is not a duplicate answer as it has a few new points that are worth mentioning, but getting a bit too close for comfort with the main suggestion and reasons all matching and then your final stance while opposing the previous answer was still previously covered

maybe add in a couple more deviations if you think?

I don't see why this answer has been deleted: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/7916/345

12:43 PM

we cant see from that link, although i'm assuming it was a comment? it was deleted because the question has been protected and only people with enough reputation can post

@JesseBarnett I really wanted to add that he shouldn't pursue the issue further when she doesn't react to the hint, but editing the first answer into that would be abusive as it recommends against that, but otherwise I agree entirely

@JesseBarnett Nope, it's a link to a deleted answer, you need rep and you'll be able to see em too ;)

So instead of trying to convince OP to edit their answer I wrote my own and put the deviation in it

@Magisch hmmm, perhaps adding a comment would have been better, but i guess the way you did it is fine

@JesseBarnett protected questions allow comments. locked or deleted don't.

12:45 PM

Not sure if that wouldn't have been a too chatty / not constructive comment

@NVZ @NVZ, might it be possible that I cast my vote before your edit? Since I don't remember the answer/comments, only the one from @JarkoDubbeldam...

@Tinkeringbell speaking of... any comments about my earlier linked post? :)

@NVZ Right you are, as Tinkerbell said it was an answer, so just assume I said answer instead of comment

Mister Positive

I love being able to protect questions....

@Tinkeringbell possible.

12:46 PM

@NVZ I'm taking a good look at it now, I think the edit did some good work ;)

@Tinkeringbell it's a copypaste, not much of an edit. it's got pronouns mixed up.

eitherway, i'll let it be.

@NVZ I might take a look at it, take another stab at editing it and then start the lobbying :P

@Magisch also, same post but thats an answer i see in the comments. and happens to be the same as both answers, should we flag it or comment and let them know to post an answer? I hardly think we need 3 very similar answers

@JesseBarnett answers in comments should always be flagged

Answers in comments are generally discouraged and supposed to be deleted. Comments are for seeking improvement or clarification only

more reasons why I didn't want to post my deviation as a comment - it'd get deleted

@Magisch mhmm, idk why it got upvotes

@Magisch I meant as a comment on the answer explaining why you think it should be deviated

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