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04:00 - 18:0018:00 - 00:00

A J
4:32 AM
the awkward...
 
4:47 AM
Hi AJ
 
A J
Hello
 
Is Snark one of yours?
 
A J
He comes here.
 
Yeah, I just have seen that name elsewhere. No matter.
 
A J
@Jolenealaska Something happened?
 
4:50 AM
The Workplace @Jolenealaska :)
@Jolenealaska Welcome to my world ;)
 
@Catija This is just one of the rooms I'm keeping an eye on. I'm bored and lonely waiting for some medical crap.
My MRI is Nov 30, so home stretch.
 
I understand.
 
 
2 hours later…
7:07 AM
0
Q: A partner's obsession with body image and eating habits

SomeoneElseI have been together with my Girlfriend (let's call her Alice) for about one and a half years, with most part of it being long-distance due to her father working in another country and bringing the whole family with him. After about six months(earlier this year) into the long-distance part, Alic...

 
A J
Huh.. silence again.
 
7:23 AM
listening more than talking
I wish I was better with faces
 
@AJ Yeah... you guys can't even get through the night without me? :P
 
A J
@Tinkeringbell I got through the night by sleeping. :P
 
@AJ hahaha...
Me too ;)
 
A J
And I will get through the next one hour by taking lunch and walking across the street.
 
@AJ I’m still waiting for my train to arrive
They are royally late again
 
7:34 AM
:(
considering writing an answer on that meta from yday about my answer...
 
Well, she is trying a low carb high protein diet i think it's called ketone? and as such the things she can and will eat are so limited and doesn't sound healthy. And i suggested if she wanted to do such a diet she might want to consider adding some meat to it. — SomeoneElse 3 mins ago
Hmmm
is snark already online?
Smells like troll: tell a vegetarian to eat meat
@JarkoDubbeldam why not? Just say something like good point I’ve edited it next time just leave a comment?
 
I actually think the edit should've been unnecessary to answer the question, but ohwell
 
7:50 AM
Yeah, I'm thinking troll...:
0
Q: A partner's obsession with body image and eating habits

SomeoneElseI have been together with my Girlfriend (let's call her Alice) for about one and a half years, with most part of it being long-distance due to her father working in another country and bringing the whole family with him. After about six months(earlier this year) into the long-distance part, Alic...

How can I tell her to eat what I think is healthy, while I don't even have an inkling of how her diet now works??? definitely troll IMO.
 
8:24 AM
0
A: My cousin doesn't know that I know he received money that belongs to me - how do I approach him about receiving the money?

CousinIts mine now.Its mine now.Its mine now.Its mine now.Its mine now.Its mine now.

hmm
is this rude, VLQ, NAA or just spam?
 
abusive
lemme dig up the link
> Abuse of the system or community is everything that is created with the intention to harm them. This includes posts that contain no useful content at all – i.e. gibberish posts along the lines of:
asyuv;laergap897wertp[98 gb;vp98a34
 
@AJ good call ;)
 
A J
8:46 AM
Morning @RoryAlsop
 
Wait a minute... How am I on chat without actually being listed as online?..
Hmm... I am now...
Interesting trivial bug
Or maybe it was just on my computer?
 
@Mithrandir24601 I think I saw that happen here as well... yesterday. I was in the chat but my avatar wasn't there? It only lighted up after talking...
 
@Tinkeringbell Yeah, that's exactly what just happened
 
A J
@SmokeDetector Why is it still there?
 
Same, I don't think it counts you as active until you are active
@AJ I had it initially flagged as VLQ, changing it to rude deleted it
 
A J
8:50 AM
Nice
 
@AJ I was on the verge of casting a manual delete vote
It’s quiet in here
I still have 15 minutes to kill before I can show up for my meeting :/ the joys of public transport
 
@AJ morning
 
A J
@RoryAlsop What's up?
@Tinkeringbell Ohh
 
Yeah....
Only 10 to go :P
 
A J
What's the meeting for?
 
9:04 AM
Closing ceremony for our proof of concept
 
A J
@Tinkeringbell Proof of Concept?
 
Which brings the most important question, does it prove the concept?
 
Basically everyone saying yeah we’re happy but we can’t say whether or not you’ll get the funds to continue
 
@AJ A mockup that shows that an idea is viable
 
@JarkoDubbeldam hah I think we did well
But I’m not a manager :P
 
A J
9:06 AM
@Tinkeringbell like the concept for a project you might develop?
 
Well yeah
We built an application with which companies can read out smart meters
I’m seeing colleagues arrive so I’ll go as well
 
@AJ work work work work - so busy
 
A J
yep a truth of our lives.
 
aye, first year I'm actually looking forward to a week off over Christmas
 
A J
Nice!
@RoryAlsop We'll get only one day off. Though it's on Monday, so I guess it will be 3 days off in a row.
 
9:23 AM
I'll have to work the 24th, and 27-31th
:(
 
A J
@JarkoDubbeldam What's your job?
 
@AJ I just decided to save holidays so I can be off from the 23rd to the 2nd, thankfully
 
A J
@RoryAlsop Oh cool!
 
@AJ I work as data scientist, at a website where you can compare and buy insurance policies
 
@AJ well, in Scotland the 1st and 2nd are public holidays, as well as Christmas and Boxing Day - so you don't need to use up too many days leave to get a good week off
 
9:26 AM
In the Netherlands, you can only switch health insurance at the end of the year, so it is really busy for us in that period
So pretty much the entire company is expected to help in the callcenter
 
A J
@JarkoDubbeldam ohhh.. like accountants. They also get busy at certain times in a year.
 
Pretty much
 
A J
@RoryAlsop Don't you guys have sandwich rule or something?
 
but I don't really mind that much, I get paid extra for doing night and/or weekend shifts
 
A J
@JarkoDubbeldam yeah we too.
 
9:38 AM
@AJ sandwich rule?
@JarkoDubbeldam the on-duty folks at my local petrol station get triple time on Christmas :-)
 
A J
@RoryAlsop Like you can't take leaves between two holidays. If you do it without approval, those holidays will be counted as leave without pay.
 
@AJ nope - haven't heard of that rule. We typically try to add leave around public holidays to maximise the time available for holiday :-)
 
@AJ That's a ridiculous rule! Why would anyone want that??
 
@AJ sounds like a hacky way to prevent the entire company from taking those days off
 
A J
@RoryAlsop Yeah, we do have this rule, not in all organizations though. You gotta take approval from management if you need to.
@Mithrandir24601 Yeah, it's ridiculous, but it depends on the organizations.
I did take leaves between two holidays and still got paid, but I had the reason.
 
9:44 AM
0
Q: Determine if girl I am with is open to relationship

CoffeineConverterAbout 1,5 months ago i got to know a girl that's living 5 minutes away from me. We wrote 1-2 days then met. The first to times just talking with each other and then at a concert making out. Long story short. We are kinda "dating" now for the past 1,5 month with sometimes going out together with ...

1
Q: How can I politely tell a family who invited me for dinner that I'm still hungry?

Tycho's NoseThis is about a friend's family and what would often happen during dinners (mom in her 50's, dad in his 60's). Examples One time, the mom had cooked 1 packet of ravioli for 5 people, and she urged me to get the right amount (we all had to count how many pieces we got). Some other time, she had...

 
A J
This rule is placed to prevent everybody from taking leaves between holidays.
 
There is only a few moments there that is really relevant isn't it
 
A J
yes
 
between Xmas and NYE, and maybe around easter/pentecost/ascension day
(assuming the holidays you celebrate are the same)
 
A J
We only get long holidays once in a year on the occasion of Diwali.
 
10:26 AM
@AJ in my industry it is mandatory for staff to have at least one holiday of more than 10 days
 
A J
@RoryAlsop Means if you work on 10 days continuously, you have to take one day holiday at least?
 
@AJ no, it means that at least once through the year you need 10 days off in one continuous block
usually people use this for their 2 week long summer holiday
 
A J
@RoryAlsop Ah.. Nice!!
We don't have this rule.
You guys don't usually have that many festive holidays in a year like we do.
So, I guess you got this kind of rule.
@RoryAlsop You guys get holidays in a block and we get in pieces.
There are almost 15 holidays in a year. This varies according to the local culture, which is different in every state.
 
@AJ we have it as an anti-fraud measure. It makes it harder for an individual to commit fraud if they have to be away over a couple of week boundaries
@AJ we just get a total number of days per year annual leave, plus 4 public holidays (I think it's 4)
those include Easter, Christmas etc
 
A J
@RoryAlsop We get 18 to 30 days leaves including medicals and casual annually besides those 15 holidays.
 
10:39 AM
wow
I think I get 30 annual + 4 public. And that is a lot here - earned over many years
 
A J
@RoryAlsop So, 104 days weekends, 15 holidays, 18 annual leaves. That sums up 137 days off.
@RoryAlsop That is equal to number of holidays+leaves we get.
 
@AJ ahhhh - I understand
that makes sense then
 
A J
@RoryAlsop So, no need to be jealous then. ;-)
:D
 
10:55 AM
@AJ true - just a very different model, as you said, with many pieces of holiday vs blocks
 
11:38 AM
Hmm, getting 30 days off on top of the official holidays
 
@RoryAlsop Hmm... I get 25 days of annual leave, then another 15 of public+uni holidays :) Having said that, no-one actually manages to use their 25 days of leave
 
we are pretty much pressured to use them
 
11:56 AM
@AJ I have 2 weeks of during that time
25 days a year excl the holidays
 
A J
but how many holidays?
 
@Mithrandir24601 I spent ten years not taking more than a couple of holidays a year as I was too busy and didn't have a team that I could delegate to...
I eventually left that job despite loving it, as I just wasn't seeing my family
 
@AJ 6 this year
7*
missed 1st of jan because I didn't work yet then
wait, making a list
1. newyearsday
2. easter
3. Pentecost
4. Ascension day
5. liberation day
6. king's day
7. xmas 1
8. xmas2
9. old years day
but sometimes they fall during weekends, in which case we're outta luck
 
12:23 PM
@JarkoDubbeldam ahh, when ours are on a weekend, we get an extra day of leave :)
 
@JarkoDubbeldam Us being crazy : omroepbrabant.nl/?news/271782992/… :P
It's seriously in 2 new media: metronieuws.nl/lifestyle/food/2017/11/…
 
1:25 PM
wow, all the Europeans are gone. Now's my chance..... ;)
 
I'm still here :D
 
no cigar
 
3
 
oh, darn! LOL
How is everybody today?
 
like yesterday
 
A J
1:29 PM
tired
and hungry
going to grab some snacks
that reminded me I got an apple, not apple phone, in my bag.
 
@AJ LOL, I've been an anti-apple person since the 1980s (the company)
 
I've been neutral, I don't love apple and I don't hate them
(the company)
 
My opinion doesn't go much further than 'it's overpriced'.
 
the newest is overpriced as hell
 
@JarkoDubbeldam BINGO!
Apple's being overpriced is by design. They want people who buy their phones to be able to afford their apps.
 
A J
1:41 PM
Me too
 
I think the newest iphone is the easiest phone to break
 
@Termatinator which is why my kids have LG phones. Cheap, and easily replaced.
 
A J
1:57 PM
I got Motorola
Which is now acquired by Lenovo
I never got the sense of using iPhone with high price and less features.
 
Acer here
 
personally, I use an Iphone, but I bought it from my cousin-in-law, so it was a lot cheaper
 
2:13 PM
0
Q: How can I ascertain what my significant other would rather do?

NejosanI feel like I can't correctly ascertain what my significant other would rather do. We have had a rocky relationship as she is rather introverted, while I am more needy, and while we talked and determined to pursue a more healthy relationship with both of us trying our best to help the other party...

 
2:24 PM
Hey people
 
@Magisch Hey you!
 
I'm trying to come up with a non ping abbreviation of your name since I'm lazy and don't like typing but Tinker sounds awkward and so does Bell
Like I can call @TheSnarkKnight snark or Catija cat
 
(Pick octo :P )
 
@Magisch or maybe tink?
 
octo?
 
2:26 PM
@Magisch They call me 'the octopus' at home :P
 
I'd rather not know why
:o
 
A J
Which kind of girl are you? @Tinkeringbell ;)
 
Once I've got a hold of something physically, people can't take it away from me :P
Now you do :P
 
There are so many ways in which that can be misunderstood
 
@AJ Definitely the bottom one!
 
2:27 PM
@Tinkeringbell now I feel the need to call you squidward
 
Although I prefer to share...
@Magisch Yeah... perhaps the internet is not the best place for it... But I made it into something of a personal brand :P
 
Uh oh, if Tinkeringbell is squidward, what does that make me. (plankton, no doubt)
 
@TheSnarkKnight Crabs... for being crabby? :P
 
@TheSnarkKnight 1% Evil 99% hot air
 
Holy Hentai Batman!
 
2:28 PM
I'm not spongebob
 
I'm far more evil than that, @Magisch
 
or patrick
And I'm not squirrel enough to be sandy
 
@Magisch You can be that girly whale..
 
So I guess i'm background fish #991
 
forgot her name...
 
2:29 PM
@Tinkeringbell wasn't it pearl?
 
@Magisch You should have picked King Neptune, or The Flying Dutchman :P
@Termatinator Yup, that's the one I was looking for :P
because pearls are round, as is Magisch's avatar :P
 
Nah I'm that guy that runs after sponge and patrick when they're traveling salesmen
to buy all their chocolate
 
NO! I AM THE FLYING DUTCHMAN :P
 
@Magisch I forgot about that one!!
I wanted to be that :(
 
tbh I'd probably fit in best with some background fish
I've mastered being completly uninteresting
 
2:32 PM
@Magisch Oh come on... Don't go ruining the fun!
Then try something weird for once! :P
 
You all don't seem to be making much sense this morning... What happened?
 
@apaul We're dividing roles...
Pick a spongebob character and join us...
:P
 
goofy goober peanut is still available
 
Hahahaha :P
 
@Magisch you said that just for the Halibut.
 
2:34 PM
(but don't worry, King Neptune is also still availabe, as are Patrick, Spongebob and Sandy :P)
 
As interesting as role play sounds... SpongeBob SquarePants characters may be a little odd for my tastes... Who spiked the punch?
 
@apaul Star Trek Characters then? I could be Garak, token evil teammate.
 
I never liked spongebob
 
@TheSnarkKnight that would kinda suit you ;)
 
@TheSnarkKnight Nooo... no star trek... I don't even know it that well, so I'll probably end up with something that's funny to all of you but that I don't even understand :P
 
2:36 PM
I come in here and the conversation immediately derails
 
@Magisch Hey, you asked for nicknames! :P
 
@Magisch well, isn't that magical :P
 
@Tinkeringbell is that what this is about?
 
@apaul Yeah, Magisch wanted to know a shorter one than Tinkeringbell :P
 
@apaul I probably started the topic of spongebob
 
2:38 PM
Uh-huh...
 
@Magisch what about 8? Basically the same as octo :P
 
@Tinkeringbell Well tinker Bell nick is Tink :)
 
And the shortest I can come up with :P
 
my nick would probably be term
 
@apaul well, I am kind of a retired villain. ;)
 
2:42 PM
@TheSnarkKnight who's awfully suspicious at times...
 
@Magisch just curious... what would my nick be?
 
@Termatinator Term
 
@apaul I prefer to think of it as helping people maintain a healthy awareness and skepticism.
 
@TheSnarkKnight 6 vs half dozen
 
here is a definition of the netherlands in spongebob:
 
2:48 PM
lol
 
@Termatinator And I'm not living near the sea ^-^
 
I used to
 
@JarkoDubbeldam You should have never left :P
 
@Tinkeringbell I live in overijssel, so I also don't live near it
 
?
I moved from Leiden to Gouda, that's not that drastic
 
2:51 PM
@JarkoDubbeldam I already have plans to move and live near the seaside as soon as possible...
I love being at the beach, on windy days
(if it's sunny, there are too many people)
 
I'm just happy I live in the east of the netherlands
 
The beach is overrated. The sunshine, it burns. Melting, melting, etc.
 
@apaul I love the beach.... at night. I can't stand the sun either.
 
I love the beach during a storm
 
@JarkoDubbeldam Yeah, storms are the best times to go to the beach
 
2:54 PM
@TheSnarkKnight used to play hide and seek with the cops on the beach at night when I was a kid. Most of our public beaches "close" after sunset.
 
I love the beach when it's not busy
 
I'm not sure if private beaches are a thing here, at least at the coast
 
And I certainly don't think our beaches 'close'
 
@JarkoDubbeldam technically I don't think we have private beaches either, but the resorts don't seem to understand that.
 
@apaul new Jersey has plenty of them.... the kicker? When they're destroyed, they're rebuilt with public funds
 
3:03 PM
@TheSnarkKnight it's kind of a gray area here. There's usually a strip along the water that's not technically private property, so if you're close enough to the water they should leave you alone. Most public parks close after sunset to keep the kids from using them as party spots, but that's usually controlled by local city ordinance. Beach cops are annoying... Their goal seems to be to facilitate the tourist industry, so there's a bit of "you people don't belong here..."
@TheSnarkKnight but ya... They justify using public funds to replenish "private" beaches here too. Reduces storm surge/damage allegedly?
 
didn't last week tonight do a piece on storm insurance?
 
@JarkoDubbeldam yup. A pretty good one too.
@JarkoDubbeldam The beach houses you see on stilts in that episode are a thing where I live. It's required building code on a lot of the barrier islands. It's not if it floods, it's when it floods... As in this property will very likely be seriously flooded at least once every few years.
 
3:18 PM
hehe
Funny to compare that to the netherlands
My gf's parents live in the lowest place of the netherlands, 20+ft below sea level
 
@JarkoDubbeldam You all are the master dam and levey builders... I'm sure you've seen the news that we're not great at that...
 
:)
granted
we don't have hurricanes
which I feel helps a lot
 
Yup yup :P
Dunno though... I've built houses on drained swampland where the streets see almost a foot of standing water just because we got one of our usual afternoon thunderstorms...
 
D:
that's a lot
 
Ya. Poor civil engineering is definitely a problem in Florida.
 
3:30 PM
@apaul It's bad in NJ too, as half the state is concrete and asphalt, the water has nowhere to go
 
@apaul did you watch it?
 
@TheSnarkKnight South Jersey was surprisingly rural. Went up there over this past summer, reminded me of central Florida.
@Catija not yet. Ended up falling asleep watching Dr. Strange.
 
Ah. :)
 
@apaul The northeast and southwest portions of the state are VERY rural, especially the pine barrens. The northwest is also very rural, but that is changing.
@apaul yeah, Doctor Strange was long and boring.
 
@TheSnarkKnight Eh, it had it's moments. The first half hour really drags though.
@TheSnarkKnight If you get the chance, checkout the Flying Fish brewery. Very tasty stuff.
Kind of a tangent, but one of the highlights of the Jersey trip.
 
3:37 PM
@apaul if you ever make it back up Rutt's Hut hotdogs are legendary
 
@TheSnarkKnight Doubt I'll be up there again anytime soon, but thanks for the tip.
Mmm bacon
 
Yay! I earned the tumbleweed badge!
 
@TheSnarkKnight Surely not on IPS?
 
On IPS META
My stuff doesn't tend to get ignored. People tend to have strong opinions about what I post.
 
3:52 PM
@TheSnarkKnight odd... Where?
@TheSnarkKnight YUP lol
Ah request to reopen...
Only mild opinions there.
Trying to think up a good question about the annual holiday train wreck.
Pretty sure I'm gonna be "controversial" again...
@Catija any advice?
 
4:08 PM
@apaul on what?
 
Being controversial again.
 
Packing to travel for thanksgiving. :/.
 
@Catija taking the kiddo to see the grandparents?
 
Be honest, avoid weighted language, don't respond to people. Feel free to ping me if you're getting too much heat. I'll be on mobile so mod stuff is hard.
Not impossible... just hard.
 
@Catija I'll try to keep it low-key and I'll try harder to not respond to the dumpster fires...
 
4:12 PM
:)
 
5:04 PM
0
Q: Navigating family holiday gatherings when you're queer

apaulTis the season for social obligation... Unfortunately for some this leads to some awkward and uncomfortable situations. How do you navigate family holiday parties when many family members are uncomfortable with queer people? Personally I've been finding it more and more uncomfortable to go t...

 
Here goes...
 
@apaul I'll keep an eye on it ;)
 
@Tinkeringbell thanks
 
@apaul you like low-key and I like Loki :D
 
> But nowadays many, if not most, know that I'm not straight, which makes things more complicated...
So, they do know? But don't want to accept?
Like, what would happen if you were honest?
 
5:11 PM
@TheSnarkKnight Loki was one of my old nicks
 
@apaul it is still one of mine :D
 
@Tinkeringbell kind of?
 
@apaul Hmmm... must be hard, it's confusing even for me! Like, if you know someone isn't straight and you don't want to accept it, don't ask question?
Anyways... good luck! I thought my family was bad :/
 
@apaul it gets easier over time. Most people just need time to adjust.
 
@apaul "play it straight" good one :)
 
5:14 PM
@Tinkeringbell some would be convinced that I'm going to burn in hell. Some don't want their kids to hear that sort of thing. Some are accepting, but awkward. Some are really cool about it. It's a big family...
 
@apaul Hmmm.... so I'm assuming here you can't just talk about it with the 'really cool' people because the 'burn in hell' people will cause drama?
 
@Tinkeringbell pretty much?
 
(btw, you've got a comment asking basically the same ;) )
@apaul Thanks, that helps me understand. :)
 
@apaul When people say you're going to burn in hell, say "I'll save you a seat".
 
@TheSnarkKnight Tempting, but I'm sure that wouldn't be helpful.
 
5:18 PM
@TheSnarkKnight How do you know there are seats?
 
@Tinkeringbell I've been there and back several times
 
(shouldn't have asked. sorry!)
 
With uncanny timing my cousin started her usual arm twisting to make sure I was joining them for Thanksgiving while I was writing that. It's like her momma bear senses were tingling lol
 
@apaul cousin is one of the good people then? or not? Is arm twisting good or bad?
 
5:23 PM
@Tinkeringbell She's cool, but a little awkward, I guess. She means well and she's been arm twisting since we were kids.
 
@Tinkeringbell did you see my reply to you in Meta about the "back it up" rule?
 
@Tinkeringbell I guess protective, but clumsy about it, would be a good description?
 
@TheSnarkKnight When?
I missed a few days :P
@apaul Yeah okay ;) Just wanted to make sure that the people that don't want you there aren't also the ones pushing you to be there :P
Everybody is clumsy when they try to be protective :P
@TheSnarkKnight (that probably means 'no') :P
 
@Tinkeringbell it was a few days ago. Basically, TWP enforces the "back it up" rule not so much as you have to be in HR to answer an HR question (or something similar) and you don't need links, what you do need to "back it up" is a sound argument and reasoning.
examples help.
 
Yeah, I think that's pretty much in line with this meta answer? interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/182/…
Found the comment btw
I read that just before dropping of the radar ;)
 
5:28 PM
It's a good rule and it tends to prevent one-line answers that help nobody
 
@TheSnarkKnight Exactly... :-) ... Which is why I think it should be in the Help Center btw... I'll add it to that meta later.
 
5:43 PM
This should be closed
5
Q: Determine if girl I am with is open to relationship

CoffeineConverterAbout 1,5 months ago i got to know a girl that's living 5 minutes away from me. We wrote 1-2 days then met. The first to times just talking with each other and then at a concert making out. Long story short. We are kinda "dating" now for the past 1,5 month with sometimes going out together with...

 
5:59 PM
@TheSnarkKnight Eh, it's a reasonable question about a somewhat common situation. And I just spent a good bit of time trying to edit it into shape, so...
 
04:00 - 18:0018:00 - 00:00

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