The Awkward Silence - 2017-10-17

« first day (111 days earlier) ← previous day next day → last day (2394 days later) »

English Student

12:03 AM

As in 'many posts, reasonable reputation, mediocre average reputation score per post'. Your efforts to address my question are very much appreciated @Mithrandir24601.

Mithrandir24601

It's surprisingly fascinating

English Student

Thanks. It's inspired by sporting averages. As you know we Indians are crazy for cricket which is an intensely statistical sport. Some players played 150 - 200 Test matches and scored 10000-15000 runs but others played only 40 - 60 matches and scored upto 6000 -- so averages are essential for extracting the true impact of a player. Same for baseball, I think. Not so much for football (soccer) or rugby union where team results matter more.

Mithrandir24601

12:33 AM

It's done! And with that, I'm off to have a shower, then bed :)

English Student

1:08 AM

Great work @Mithrandir24601 -- I really appreciate the support!

Extroverted Main Man

1:28 AM

0

Q: How to tell co-worker not to ask me do last minute work?

Frequently, when i am just about to leave my workplace, my co-worker asks me to pass him something that he needs (to do his work) about 5 minutes before work time ends. Sometimes, i do not have it ready at hand. And i do not want to keep him waiting for my work before he can do his. I will be i...

3 hours later…

4:17 AM

Morning

4:57 AM

hello

3 hours later…

7:55 AM

Morning :)

Good morning :)

I mean not feeding the troll is one thing, but isn't michael going too far by far? He compares western culture with a culture of rapists. And as much I try to get his point on insisting onto his argument, as deeper I go into it, as more I feel he just wants to offend He says he isn't calling names, true but he addresses his insults to the whole audience. Is that in line with the be nice policy?

@dhein Hmm... it's certainly one of the reasons I haven't replied further last night, I thought he might be trolling. On the other hand, I can sort of grasp his argument: Even though I'm fine with a guy making advances on me while working, Mary was very upset and so she clearly wasn't.

I've learned myself to smile wickedly and throw any papers/phone numbers in the trash in a very dramatic way (If I found the guy creepy).

daaaam damm daaaam dam :D

That said, as I stated in the chatroom, I've dated a customer once, because he did everything right imo...

I can imagine his stance that 'you don't approach a lady in her workplace (customer-cashier, not colleagues)

He's a perfectly fine fellow for not wanting to that. But there are people that do, and Mary should be able to handle them (together with Nina). If Mary never tells Nina, there's nothing Nina can do about it...

@Tycho'sNose is sort of right in his stance that if Nina knowingly facilitated this move, Nina has done something wrong... but then, you first have to find out IF Nina knew, and even then you can only say so much as 'please don't do so again?' --> Especially if laws are such that you can be fired, you have to be very, very careful...

8:12 AM

@Tinkeringbell I'm not saying anything against his stance, I wouldn't even care his tries of enforcing his mindset as long he would accept that others disagree but I mean he just repeats his points and insulting a straw-man on any occasion he can. I mean even OP said that tats not even Marys point. He just ignored that. Judging when some one should feel awkward and when not to, really isn't my expertise :P

Ah well, I think he just feels very strongly about it. Matter of principle and some people can't agree to disagree. That's also sort of why we're here ;) I had fun, there were lots of people on my side, which feels good, it asserts that my way of thought isn't that strange at all ;)

Michael was right on some points. That's why I edited in a little extra after the discussion ;)

By the way, KateGregory does a way better job of making the same point. That's probably why her answer surpassed mine ;)

Its not his point, its the attitude that was simply totally off. Dunno, it annoyed me to read that.... but still, you also can't stop reading it >.<

8:28 AM

@dhein Yeah, it was annoying (but like you said, you can't stop reading, I like to compare it as a sort of 'disaster tourism')

It's a good example of how much an attitude matters when you want to accomplish something :)

@Tinkeringbell: Haha, yeah good point. So I just learned something from that, thanks :P

Hmm... I really have trouble finding out how to phrase the post I planed to make...

I can help you, on lunchtime (about 1,5 hours away ;) )

I'll try to get the post up till then :)

You could always post it, have it closed and have us help you edit it ;)

But if it's closed for too long, it might not get the attention it deserves...

So that's not the ideal solution. Better to post it here, and have us proofread it I think.

you mean like spamming the awkward silence by "here"?

Jarko Dubbeldam

8:41 AM

TBH, I was kind of surprised by the acceptance of this happening in the answer as well, but decided not to post about it

@dhein Sure, why not? Write your question as you think it should be, post it here. Put your doubts underneath it, in question form. We can ask questions, find out if it needs more info and provide feedback

Hmmm... It's sad that 'polling questions' aren't allowed here. I'm really curious now if I'm 'strange' ;) I'd like to know whether people find it acceptable or not and a male/female ratio to go with it, but I can't ask ;)

I put it in there to make clear that that's the reason why I'm not screaming : Oh my gosh he's such a creep, call the police and storm off to Nina to scold her for what happened...

Apparently, it's one of those answers that get's a lot of support, but not because it answers the question very well, but because more people think that Mary is overreacting (and I don't really like that thought... Maybe I'll edit it and delete it.)

8:57 AM

Well I can't even really say whats my opinion for this. As you already said, could be much worse. But still I wouldn't have the balls to do that. In my local flower store there was a girl once I really wanted to ask for going out but I had not overcome my self to do so. But for the willingness I would be a creep then, too. And while I could totally understand that it could have been awkward for her, thats how social interactions work. Probably thats even for me, why I was so annoyed by Michael.

His views just contradicted with anything I learned about social interactions. I mean I understand that this can create awkward situations, but isn't this also a question about WHO does it? About sympathie? I mean I always asked my self why guys come over with weird requests for sex to strangers, did they ever had success with that? But a kind notification of interest.... No idea whats wrong about it.

Jarko Dubbeldam

9:39 AM

It is best to assume that Nina wasn't aware of the customer's intentions

It is unwise to attribute to malice, that which can be explained by ignorance

10:14 AM

@JarkoDubbeldam Exactly...

@dhein His views probably aren't that strange.... they boil down to 'If you want to be a gentleman, you leave the cashier alone', which is okay for a social interaction ;) Then again, I share your opinion that a kind notification of interest isn't wrong, as long as it's done appropriately for the place/time

@Mithrandir I think you sent me an excellent link about SmokeDetector once? I lost it :( I wanted to sign up for autoflagging (finally).

(Well as I already mentioned I'm on job hunt now again.)
I'm looking for a company that is able to get along with me on long terms.
As in my current job things went horrible by not being aware of my Aspergers or even simple ignorance of its impact and having been in a team that simply is unhealthy for me, it is clearly set for me that I will tell interviewers about my conditions, to prevent getting in a situation like I'm in now, again.

The 2 major points I identified so far as problematic here, are when talking about others work, I come over very critical without actually intending to do so.

lul why I was able to send that in one piece? xDDD

@Tinkeringbell uh, hang on

docs.google.com/document/d/…

@Mithrandir Thank you!

@dhein because you pressed <kbd>shift</kbd> <kbd>enter</kbd>

@Mithrandir: All I pressed was ctrl + v + enter :P

I wrote this in an textedit, and usually I had to split them after that

10:25 AM

well, copy pasting with spaces works

ah well to know

10:53 AM

@dhein with regard to your question... are there 'solutions' to the 2 problems you're mentioning in it? Bad comparison maybe, but do you have a 'manual' that people can 'use' to interact with you?

Maybe you can mention that in your question, that you want to communicate that to a recruiter?

@Tinkeringbell: For the first problem, sadly I'm trying to find a solution with my therapist for round about a year already without any notable success. So it is a problem I'm working on but for now I require others to accept that. For the second part, I'm right now writing a post, asking for confirmation and improvement hints of the "manual" I came up with. So I can refer to that solution when later posting this one.

Well, I've done some major editing, hope you still like it. Feel free to scrap it if I made the changes too significant, I tried my best to remain true to your intentions but I'm not you ;)

(Well as I already mentioned I'm on job hunt now again.)
I'm job hunting again, because in my current job things went horrible. People were not being aware of my Aspergers or of its impact and so I was in a team that simply was unhealthy for me.
I'm looking for a company that is able to get along with me on long terms. It is clearly set for me that I will tell interviewers about my conditions, to prevent getting in a situation like I'm in now, again.

The 2 major points I identified so far as problematic here, are when talking about the work of others, I come across as very critical without…

I've put what I added between **, and included answers to your questions as well between **

That was lunch-break for now, I'll be back later :)

11:17 AM

0

Q: How to make sure I understood a work assignment correct?

Due to my conditions as Aspie, I noticed quiet a few times, in working environments I have a big communication barrier when it comes to task assignments. Most of the time I have to work over a project multiple times, as the assignment was meant differently as I understood it. The main problem her...

work-environment asperger tasks

@Tinkeringbell: Thanks for your help, I'm having a look into it :)

Extroverted Main Man

11:30 AM

-2

Q: How to make sure I understood a work assignment correct?

Due to my conditions as Aspie, I noticed quite a few times, in working environments, that I have a big communication barrier when it comes to task assignments. Most of the time, I have to work on a project multiple times, as the assignment was meant differently as I understood it. The main proble...

work-environment asperger tasks

11:41 AM

@dhein don't worry too much about the close-voting. It puts your question on-hold until it is improved. There are users there that are providing you feedback, just go crazy on the editing/answering their questions ;-) And feel free to ask questions yourself.

IMO, the question isn't really a good fit for IPS, because IPS is about communicating your method, not making such a method for you ;) But let them help you, and don't worry about being put 'on-hold' too much ;)

We're just trying to prevent you from getting 'worthless' answers ;)

I'm fine :D thanks for your input. I'll edit it.

@dhein I'm glad to hear that. I was worried you were getting discouraged and confused by the close-votes :) Keep at it, you can do it ;)

11:57 AM

good afternoon

hey @Termatinator

@Tinkeringbell: I just don't like people stomping a post without letting one know why. Here I was confused first, yeah. But that confusion is now gone :)

Hey :)

just met an introvert who is extroverted to people he knows :P

@dhein Give people some time as well, sometimes they stomp before commenting ;)

@Termatinator: Is that unusual? (Just having the hamsterball comic in my mind^^)

12:15 PM

@dhein You've got an answer and an upvote, and now I have to get back to work ASAP! My manager did cast a disapproving glance at me already :P

@Tinkeringbell: That answer is gold! Thanks. And then better hurry ;)

Lol feels like some one is rage voting against me. Just got 1 downvote on 4 of my 5 Questions like 1 hour ago. If it is the same person who did this downvotes its likely they get revoked, right?

12:45 PM

Hmm... I don't know if 4 downvotes are enough to 'trigger' suspicion...

For your info, I'm currently working at a big multi-national company, in one of their offices in The Netherlands ;)

@dhein I missed the smiley :) You're right, your comment was a joke. Anyways, I don't think the edit did any harm ;)

Indeed, it didn't :)

1:08 PM

@dhein, you've made HNQ ;) Hopefully, you'll get a lot of attention now ;)

@dhein I just found it a bit funny, I always thought he was an extrovert (to everyone)

Extroverted Main Man

1:28 PM

0

Q: How can I tell a friend I don't particularly enjoy gossiping without offending them?

I have the opposite problem to How to join in when people are gossiping? During last summer's free camping, my boyfriend and me made some acquaintances including, a woman in her early fifties, Suzy, and some other folks, a single mom with her son, and a couple of divorced dads. We have kept i...

friends conflict-aversion politeness

Extroverted Main Man

1:56 PM

1

Q: How to convey "special needs" in a positive way for an jobinterview?

I'm job hunting again because in my current job things went horribly. People were not being aware of my Aspergers or of its impact and so I was on a team that simply was unhealthy for me. I'm looking for a company that is able to get along with me on long terms. It is clearly set for me that I w...

work-environment asperger

Extroverted Main Man

2:28 PM

0

Q: How to politely refuse telling the client's name for the recruiter?

Usually when dealing with recruitment agencies and applying for certain IT job positions, at some point they share the client's name (either by phone or e-mail) and usually asking that I should keep the client's name for my-self (confidential). This is especially the case when the interview has b...

work-environment phone-calls

Introverted Meta Man.

0

Q: How is this closed question "unclear"?

I am asking about this question: How to avoid wishing my coworker on her birthday? In what way is this question "unclear"? It got multiple good, concrete answers. It has a crystal clear problem statement. Yeah, the question is odd, and most people would probably challenge the premise of the qu...

discussion scope

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How can we get a landscaper to stop blowing leaves into our yard?

My parents live on a somewhat busy but narrow two-lane road. Across the street from them lives an old couple whom we're on good terms with; in the past, they've helped us out with things, and we've helped them out. I still say hi whenever I see them. I recently got home for a break, and found th...

united-states conflicts neighbours

3 hours later…

Christopher Ryan

6:09 PM

So, you've deleted my responses. Why?

6:22 PM

@ChristopherRyan who and where? I'm not even seeing you having an account on IPS.SE?

1 hour later…

Introverted Meta Man.

7:38 PM

0

Q: Why was my comment deleted, feedback requested?

I've participated very little here, but a great deal over 5 years on other SE sites. I made a comment on an answer I believed was quite wrong/unhelpful, so I down voted and left a comment for my reasoning. The comment was deleted. May I have feedback please.

discussion comments

4 hours later…

Extroverted Main Man

11:37 PM

0

Q: Is my dad's friend interested in me?

This has been something on my mind that I just can't seem to shake off. Backstory: My family has a group of other families that we regularly meet up with. We vacation, have dinners, etc. My dad has a pretty close friend among the group. Let's call him Vic. Vic has a wife (who he's pretty distan...

awkward-situations family romance

« first day (111 days earlier) ← previous day next day → last day (2394 days later) »

Transcript for

Oct '1717

The Awkward Silence

Welcome to The Awkward Silence! Here, you can find the general...

join this room
about this room

00:00

06:00

12:00

18:00

all times are UTC

site design / logo © 2024 Stack Exchange Inc; legal

mobile