@pnuts Yes you admitted to it. It's too late to take that back! :D

And by the way I don't mind the corrections. This ain't my native language hence I'm always learning.

Gayot's First Law is less disputable than E=mc^2 - but it is not claimed by its proponent (?) whereas I'd be happy with "pnuts the corrector".

@GayotFow Great one with that no-reason-refusal meme!

@JoErNanO It's funny too

And for sure you all have seen it happening

The best would be I have a friend who had is visa refused for not reason.

My uncle told me to lie

I didn't fill in prior deportations because it wasn't relevant

I didn't know I was going to the UK until I got there

All of these have appeared in Tribunal cases!

Also...

I didn't know they were my employers, I just worked for them that's all

I thought my visa renewed automatically because it's a new year on 1 January

That was an American girl I tried to help

Also an American girl........

I came in from Dublin because they always deport me when I try Heathrow

She was caught in Liverpool...

She told them: "I was only a prostitute because my bf threw me out."

Aren't you going to arrest him instead?

I starred a few. Just for kicks.

@JoErNanO LOL

The Tribunal was very severe with the guy who said his prior history was irrelevant :)

I will look it up for you ...

Here......

That was the judge LOL

Even now it gives me a jolly giggle :)

I think these guys deserve a Darwin award rather then a deportation. :)

It's funny, no?

Yes

And totally deserving of a Darwin award.

No the judge the other ones

Once I had a very respectable British chap

who went to Kenya on a safari tour

and he fell in love with the cook

who always went around topless

and he took her to the airport because he wanted to bring her back

where's the Irishman and the Jew?

Jews are usually more inventive.

And they refused to board her because no passport

So he took her to the British mission

and told them she was under his protection and needed a passport

And they told him to leave

And he clocked the ECO ... LOL

And the Royal Marines had to restrain him and throw him out

And they called the Kenyan police who detained and removed him to the UK

for assault

Things we do for sex

And that's when he contacted me

She did have great breasts, I will give him that much

And I had to apologize to the Foreign Office

Reminds me of a gread joke

Now the Irishman and the Jew?

And when I went in to discuss it, nobody in the room could stop laughing...

I know I can't.

So what about the Irishman and a Jew?

And they were government officials FFS, and we just laughed about it

Sorry, yes, the Irishman and the Jew.......

And we finally got him a spouse visa........

Is willing to risk prison/deportation evidence that the marriage would not be a sham?

@pnuts lots of times it is still judged as a scam

So was it the government officials who were Irish/Jewish?

@pnuts It might be

@pnuts I have to ask cautiously why?

look........

So "If all else fails, clock the ECO" is not reliable guidance for those seeking totty.

he is trying to lie his way out of lying........

@pnuts Excellent!

Once I had a Kikuyu girl who got in touch with me......

And she was drop dead gorgeous

tall, volupuous

beautiful face

and she was an asylum claimant

Which was outside my practice area, but I said WTF and took her on anyway...

Got paid in sex? :)

And her problem was that she had multiple arrests for indecency

And the magistrate had served her with a prohibitive steps order

And she was worried they would deport her

LOL

So it turned out..........

LOL, I can't stop laughing..... just a sec

She was uncomfortable using the shower and bathtub LOL

And so she bathed in the upper Tyburn creek

ROFL!!!!!

Which is near Primrose Hill

LOL,

And in full view of a flat block and a road and a sidewalk LOL

So I told her I would help her get used to it...

Without any hanky panky though

It was so funny

Add user31571/user31577 to user31563/user31564/suren/user31523/Surya Ragh/farhad.

@GayotFow "my son cut 2 papers from my passport..."

@pnuts This is a day of hilarity

Pure coincidence one was the one with "banned" on it and the other had the associated entry/exit stamp - no doubt.

Question 1 - I lied on an application

Question 2 - My son cut some pages from my passport

LOL!!!!

perhaps pnuts the pedant

@pnuts maybe change your screen name?

it's an idea.

Something like PedantPatrol

Misses the hint at crazy.

The FranticPendanticRomantic?

Getting warmer!

ok, there are three holes in my yard.. my wife said she thinks it is a snake because she saw a head coming out from there and quickly goes inside again..

now I am worried.. anyone knows if snakes make holes and live under ground?

not sure where to get help.. last thing I want is my kids to get bitten when they play.. damn it

Even if not made by a snake, perhaps occupied by a snake (say one going after whatever made the hole)?

But surely more likely whatever made the hole?

i do not know..

it is just annoying and makes me worried

if my little kid noticed that hole he will surely tries to stick his little hand inside.. currently it is covered by grass...

i also found a dead frog.. so i was worried it is because snake bite it.. snakes do bite things and let them die before eating them..

i will try to find a place to ask.. maybe yahoo answers..

Add L L to user31571/user31577/user31563/user31564/suren/user31523/Surya Ragh/farhad.

@NeAnDerthal Do you have a cat?

if not, pour boiling water down the hole very slowly

@pnuts How about Netpad?

TOO subtle.

@GayotFow I don't like cats.. and I will try the boiling water idea in the morning...

With all these non-answers I'm now out of flags. :/ Here's one more: travel.stackexchange.com/a/50877

This one is not even trying to pretend he's answering.

Good to see that @pnuts is collecting these.

@NeAnDerthal no, then wait until midday when the serpent retreats for siesta

@NeAnDerthal How big is the hole? How big are the snakes in your country?

And where is @hippietrail when my amazing double innuendo posts need to be starred?

Point being: it could be a mole.

With Mole you'd have a small mound not just a hole.

@1999 But I'm not planning to add jahangiralam to the list, at least for the time being.

To which list? The purveyors of the finest spam?

@JoErNanO 2 inches maybe.. and I am in Indonesia currently (second home)... I do not know about snakes in here and where I am from there are no much snakes in urban areas..

but here in Indonesia things are different.. animals everywhere.. especially lizards and bugs... I just started to be ok with lizards and now snakes!!!!!!

too much grass and trees.. this is what you get..

there is nothing better than sand and deserts... no animals and no weird stuff...

@NeAnDerthal Where in Indonesia?

Jakarta-Tangerang

@Karlson Not as general as "purveyors of the finest spam" but just what appears may be accounts being used to prepare for something like the canadavisexpert thing again. jahangiralam seems to me more a troll than a prospective spammer.

there is a small dirty lake nearby.. and one time I was standing there and I saw something I have never seen like it before.. a snake came out from the water (big one) and was holding a big fish in its mouth... took like 10 minutes to start swallowing it then it went down to water again...

this place is full with animals.. locals do not seem to bother.. but I do..

anyway, time to sleep...

gd nigt

what is with all the **** answers the last couple of days? Surely it's not worth their while to make 'semi-fake accounts' just to spam in like 3 weeks or so...

As Gayot pointed out, just they can live off just three 'bites' each year.

(first just NWOV)

It is either a sock puppet attack or my twitter feed or something else...

At favoured theory at the moment is a sock puppet flood

@pnuts How about NitpickingNed?

I think indication of imbecility is more relevant than of fastidiousness. FranticPendanticRomantic is probably the most suitable so far - but maybe "20%" short of worth the aggro of changing. 6 characters max is a stipulation (now!)

@NeAnDerthal Dissolve baking soda in the water if you can.

@pnuts Potato tomato same thing. :)

@pnuts EllipticalPickle?

pomato

@pnuts But there's no thematic content

EllipticalPickle probably meets the "crazy" requirement (but not max 6).

What is the 6 max referring to?

@JoErNanO Wikipedia use en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vignette_%28road_tax%29#/media/…

@GayotFow I added a requirement the moniker be a maximum of six characters.

Oh my!

@MarkMayo A current conjecture:

The "answers" appear well-intentioned but yeah...

Here's one more of these, farook ahmed: travel.stackexchange.com/a/50886

@1999 I think that's a stretch

@1999 Yeah, my take is that they are sincere. It does not mean high quality though. I try not to hurt their feelings

May make some sense for IT students but wild for here. Add farook ahmed to L L/user31571/user31577/user31563/user31564/suren/user31523/Surya Ragh/farhad. "sincere"? I think not.

Note that at least three answers from the users associated with the canadianvisaexpert question were plagiarism, including one that started “This is a quick itinerary and notes of my recent trip” where that trip took place earlier than 3 years ago.

@pnuts, did you put a bounty in?

I did.

LOL!

I did too

@pnuts I have a good 6 character candidate

EyeGuy

I'll think about the username but after mentioning that the bounty was exactly as it says (hey, stock wording that suits - makes a change!) and the +50 was meant as a sign of appreciation for your other answers also, where the reward is out of line with the work involved relative to many other As with lots of upvotes. (Your subject matter is too specialised!)

@pnuts Indeed very kind of you

Not really - say compared to travel.stackexchange.com/a/41932/4995 - but it is only a token.

Jeez.........

That was 500 points, somebody could get nearly every unlock!

At least all the good ones!

That's about the equivalent of 2 weeks of TSE every day

@Flimzy I was just watching Zombeavers

and noted your name in the crew list.

Coincidence, or do we have a B-grade horror film man in our midst? ;)

@GayotFow But Hubble07 is good (eg see his other answer).

@pnuts wow! I am all out of votes for a while or would have upped both of those answers

I think he would have deserved them and am glad you agree. (Will your rations be replenished in 1/2 hr?)

Yes, how did you know? 27 minutes I can give 1 vote

EyeGuy is retrograde - meets max 6 but not loopy/punctilious and if I am missing something then too subtle.

Usage against such limits is reset at UTC 00:00

It's very subtle

it's short for the guy with the eye