The Bridge

Sterno

18:00

13

Q: Insights: How we evaluate a private beta

If you haven't read, we are extending this private beta another week to see where this site is headed. During last week's evaluation, I shared some thoughts (internally) with the Community Team about what to look for going forward. I thought that perhaps sharing this guidance with you (publicly...

I don't know much about how betas work buy my impression from that was "You have a week to get your shit together"

Unionhawk

@Yuuki You will be happy to know that you have successfully confused @OrigamiRobot

Wipqozn

@Sterno That's a lot further down the front page than I would have thought

Sterno

@Wipqozn Yeah, I was starting to think I hallucinated reading that earlier.

So my daughter was home the last 2 days because she had a 100 degree temperature, otherwise wasn't too bad, but I didn't want to be the dick who brings their sick kid to work (plus, at 101, they send her home, so I kept figuring that would happen anyway)

Today I take her and half the kids are laying on cots half-asleep at a time they're normally running around playing.

One kid had so much snot on his face he looked like Cthulhu. The nose, mouth, and chin were all covered by thick green slime and I am not exaggerating when I say there were three tentacles of the stuff hanging from his chin at least two inches

You'd think he'd reach up and wipe it or something.

Wipqozn

@Sterno Kids are gross

►

Sterno

I did allow me to point to him and say "You've got a little on your face something right.... there" while waving my finger in a huge circle around his entire head. Oddly, the 2 year old did not understand my wonderful joke.

Wipqozn

18:08

@Sterno Dad jokes are best jokes

Sterno

For bonus points, another kid saw me pointing and decided to wipe the other kids nose for him with her shirt.

Origami Robot

I don't understand why they are called "Dad jokes"

Sterno

My kids are in good hands!

Unionhawk

Because when you have children you get +1000000000 to terrible jokes

Brian

Uhg! So close! >.<

So my brother wants Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel for Christmas, which is normally $60.

Unionhawk

18:09

So imagine @Wipqozn having children

Oh god

Origami Robot

@Unionhawk Yes, but it's the "dad" part that confuses me

Unionhawk

Are you saying it's sexist and implies that dads are the only ones capable of terrible jokes?

Sterno

Think it's cold? Go find a corner to sit in. It's 90 degrees!

Unionhawk

Oct 24 at 14:30, by Unionhawk

@Batophobia NO

Sterno

#jokes-that-only-work-with-the-superior-Fahrenheit-system

Brian

18:11

So I've been checking websites to try to find it as cheap as possible before Christmas. I just caught it on sale for $23, and then realized that there was only 19 seconds left on the sale timer. So I scrambled to checkout, but it made me make an account and verify my email first, and by then the sale was over.

murgatroid99

If I understand this site correctly, CSS appears to be Turing Complete

Unionhawk

I read that as Counterstrike Source and was confused

Origami Robot

@Unionhawk Sure, why not

Unionhawk

I wanted to find dad jokes on tvtropes but no

I have been forsaken

Origami Robot

They're just jokes that rely on being a smartass to kids

No parenting required.

Unionhawk

18:13

True, and being a smartass to kids is the pastime of dads

Origami Robot

It's a passtime of most adults

Unionhawk

Truf

Sterno

@OrigamiRobot Because typically only guys make such jokes, and if you're a guy hanging around kids, you'd better be a dad, because otherwise you are creepy.

Unionhawk

Really being a smartass is the national pastime period

Origami Robot

@Sterno I guess the women in my family missed that memo

Sterno

18:15

@OrigamiRobot They could probably use a lifehack for that.

Unionhawk

LIFEHACK: ...no I got nothing

StrixVaria

@murgatroid99 I have no idea what is happening.

Unionhawk

I'm done with lifehacks forever

Brian

LIFEHACK: Ignore all lifehacks and do things that actually work.

4

Origami Robot

All I know is I heard "Hi Thirsty, I'm Friday. Meet me on Saturday for a Sunday." from my mom way more than from my dad.

Unionhawk

18:16

I

Wh

I'M OUT

Origami Robot

@Unionhawk I can't decide whether or not to make these into gifs

murgatroid99

@StrixVaria Conrad's Game of Life Rule 110 implemented entirely with HTML and CSS

Yuuki

@Unionhawk Huh?

Origami Robot

@Yuuki Ignore him.

Literally put him on ignore.

He deserves it.

StrixVaria

@murgatroid99 I found a wiki entry since I said that and kind of realized what's happening. I was expecting it to at some point maybe tell me anything other than "tap tab" and "tap space" alternatingly. Then I realized that's just the mechanism it has to use to actually fill in the table.

murgatroid99

18:19

@StrixVaria Yeah, it computes rule 110, but it doesn't automatically fill in the boxes

Oops, "Conway", not "Conrad"

Batophobia

►

cc @Unionhawk

StrixVaria

@Batophobia @Unionhawk is a skateboard and has no fingers to type with anymore. RIP

Origami Robot

@StrixVaria Wearing a bowler

Sterno

I've given my wife permission to win any argument with me by saying "Fuck you, I have a brain tumor." Last night I was complaining to her that it was going to be a hard weekend watching both kids on my own during her 14 hour shifts. Her response: "Fuck you, I have a brain tumor." She wins.

Origami Robot

Such language by Mrs. Terno :(

Sterno

18:28

"I'm tired of Mexican. Can we have Indian tonight, honey?"
"FU, I have a brain tumor"

@OrigamiRobot That's how you know we're a match!

Wipqozn

@Sterno Indian food is better than MExican, so she's right for correcting your terrible choice

Sterno

I AM THE ONE WHO WANTED INDIAN

Unionhawk

Clearly, you are still the one in the wrong here

MBraedley

I'm a little disappointed that our bug tracking software only tracks "priority" instead of tracking at least two of priority, severity, and (subjective) difficulty. Those three variables do not strongly correlate with each other.

Rapitor

my workplace doesn't even have bug tracking software. It's.... fun.

Powerlord

18:38

@Sterno Also, I thought private betas could only be viewed by participants on the site

I can see the Lifehacks Beta site no problem

Wipqozn

@Sterno Oh, well, in that case she's wrong.

Rapitor

@Powerlord it's like a privte public

Sterno

@Wipqozn FU, she has a brain tumor.

Powerlord

@Rapitor You mean it's a compile error?

Wipqozn

@Sterno well, I can't argue with that.

Sterno

18:39

Exactly!

Rapitor

@Powerlord its a lifehack*

Unionhawk

compiling lifehacks.se COMPILE TIME ERROR: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHY DOES THIS EXISTS COMPILER FORCE QUIT

Matt Giltaji

@Unionhawk lifehacks.se is clearly a runtime error, not a compile time error

Unionhawk

That wasn't as funny as it was in my head

2

As usual

Sigh

Tim Stone

@Unionhawk It's okay, I've decided that I'm never funny, I just manipulate people into laughing. MOD ABUSE.

Wipqozn

18:42

@TimStone HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

YOU'RE SO FUNNY @TIMSTONE!

Tim Stone

See?

Wipqozn

YOU'RE THE FUNNIEST GUY I KNOW

Origami Robot

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAPLEASEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHELPHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Tim Stone

To be fair, I am holding a crossbow.

Matt Giltaji

@TimStone LOLOLOLOLOL (please don't ban me) LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Origami Robot

18:44

Now we look to @TimStone to tell us who had the funniest version of the same joke

stares

Wipqozn

@OrigamiRobot Mine was the funniest since it was the original.

Tim Stone

Normally I'd give it to @Wipqozn for his sheer commitment but the robot said please.

Matt Giltaji

@TimStone yeah @OrigamiRobot wins

Tim Stone

@MattGiltaji also said please, but was second, so no dice.

Unionhawk

@TimStone IS THE WORST

Origami Robot

18:45

Google just asked me if I'd be willing to pay $8.99 for early access to videos. Like... youtube type videos...

Unionhawk

Wh

8.99???

murgatroid99

@OrigamiRobot What? where?

Unionhawk

That's beyond too much

Origami Robot

@murgatroid99 A survey.

Tim Stone

@OrigamiRobot Is early access like watching YouTube normally, just the lag is caused by the video not being fully uploaded yet instead of greedy ISPs?

Matt Giltaji

18:47

@OrigamiRobot so you pay $8.99 and get to see videos before they are even uploaded... google's prediction engine must be pretty badass to make that work

murgatroid99

Having not seen that survey at all, I have a feeling that that's not exactly what the question meant

Origami Robot

The good news is they payed me $0.10 to say no.

murgatroid99

That sounds like the cost of YouTube Music Key, which is currently in beta

Origami Robot

"How often do you watch youtube videos?"
"Would you pay $8.99 per month for early access to short form videos?"

murgatroid99

@OrigamiRobot That's weird

Powerlord

18:49

@OrigamiRobot 1. Often. 2. No

Matt Giltaji

@OrigamiRobot 1. only when they are linked in the bridge 2. i don't even know what that means

Origami Robot

Oh, now it changed to $5.99

murgatroid99

@OrigamiRobot It's still kind of a bizarre question. What videos would they even be able to give you early access to?

Lazers

0

Q: How does one immediately replay cards returned to hand?

Watching some of the pros play Hearthstone, I've noticed that they are able to immediately play a card returned to their hand, somehow issuing the instruction before the card rematerializes in their hand. For example, the rope is burning and the pro has just calculated lethal. The pro does a flu...

hearthstone

Rapitor

@OrigamiRobot 1. very. 2. wat?

murgatroid99

18:51

@OrigamiRobot Maybe they'll keep dropping the price until you say yes

Origami Robot

How do you screenshot on android again?

Matt Giltaji

@murgatroid99 "short form videos"

murgatroid99

@OrigamiRobot depends on which phone you have

Tim Stone

@MattGiltaji "stuff people post on vimeo instead"

Rapitor

@OrigamiRobot hold down lock button and volume down

StrixVaria

18:52

@Rapitor Intuitive.

Matt Giltaji

@TimStone vimeo? i guess I'm not hip enough to know what that means

Rapitor

@StrixVaria quite

Origami Robot

Some stupid combination that makes me do more work if I don't get it right

Matt Giltaji

@OrigamiRobot oh, its a curated experience! definitely worth that cash then

Rapitor

i don't even know what a short form video is

Origami Robot

18:56

Oh fuck, those sneaks.

Matt Giltaji

@Rapitor i think it has to do with the body of someone of below average height

Tim Stone

@MattGiltaji It's another video site, although the first example I thought of is actually on YouTube anyway.

Origami Robot

They reversed the order the second time.

"Defintiely not" was at the bottom the first time.

I just told them I would pay $5.99

Tim Stone

Quickly, call them up and tell them you lied.

Origami Robot

Nah, I'll just get @murgatroid99 or @StrixVaria to tell them

murgatroid99

18:58

@OrigamiRobot That's how they tell whether you're reading the answers before clicking one

Rapitor

@OrigamiRobot great, now they are gonna start the service

Lazers

0

Q: Are voice packs you own applied to other player's emotes?

If I own a voice pack for a character my ally is playing but he doesn't, will the voice pack be applied so that I don't hear the default voice when he uses VGS? I don't own many voice packs so it would be hard for me to test.

smite

Origami Robot

I've never gotten two (mostly) identical surveys like that.

StrixVaria

@murgatroid99 Seems actually like it's a good way to get a lot of useless data mixed in with your survey results.

murgatroid99

@StrixVaria Yeah. There are other ways of doing that too, like asking questions that should logically have opposite answers and checking that the answers correlate

Origami Robot

19:00

Like, it wasn't two questions within the same survey.

It was two separate ones.

murgatroid99

@OrigamiRobot Even if they don't catch that, there's still the fact that accidentally entered data should not have a significant effect on the results of a survey

statistically

SaintWacko

19:16

@murgatroid99 Or having the instructions tell you to pick a specific option

Matt Giltaji

@SaintWacko people might pick a diff option out of spite

SaintWacko

@MattGiltaji Well, then they don't get the reward for the survey

That will be the last time they pick the wrong option out of spite

murgatroid99

@SaintWacko There's a difference between transparently checking for consistency and explicitly testing whether people are reading

Wipqozn

Guys, this is terrible. I can't decide what I want for supper.

Why must life be so difficult?

Sterno

@Wipqozn Indian

Rapitor

19:22

@Wipqozn mexican

SaintWacko

@Wipqozn Italian

Sterno

@Wipqozn A child's tears.

Origami Robot

@Wipqozn @Sterno's tears

Which are the result of his child's tears.

Batophobia

Does The Talos Principle actually have the kitten in the game?

Sterno

Sounds like a job for identify-this-kitteh

StrixVaria

19:31

@Wipqozn Sushi.

Oh, speaking of food, @OrigamiRobot, how did chips on a sandwich turn out for you?

Origami Robot

Mediocre. I could really taste them through all the other stuff.

And the crunch was muted by the massive amounts of bread

I should try again with a normal turkey sandwich

StrixVaria

I do it primarily for the crunch.

It's the only time that normal potato chips are really the right call, rather than some other flavor.

Origami Robot

> “Best described as Medieval Portal with a deeper narrative, The Talos Principle is able to provide a challenge for veteran and rookie puzzle-solvers alike.”

Well, now I have to watch some videos for this when I get home.

StrixVaria

@OrigamiRobot Wait what?

How have I not heard of this?

Unionhawk

You have now

BOOM

Origami Robot

19:37

@StrixVaria I only looked it up for the potential kitten.

StrixVaria

Ew $40.

@OrigamiRobot Are they comparing themselves to Portal, or is this some third party comparing the game to Portal?

The former is audacious and usually wrong, but the latter would have me very interested.

Origami Robot

@StrixVaria A third party.

"Hardcore Gamer"

hardcoregamer.com/2014/09/05/…

StrixVaria

> Arguably the coolest aspect of The Talos Principle is the ability to conplete an extremely challenging task in order to gain an advantage in the stage one finds himself or herself in. [sic]

I can't take this publication seriously.

I will still look at the game though. Sounds neat.

Unionhawk

"Hardcore Gamer" is automatically grounds for not-to-be-taken-seriously

Origami Robot

@StrixVaria That was my stance when I read the name

Unionhawk

19:42

(the publisher, and people using that name, not necessarily the game)

Origami Robot

But I will also check the game out

StrixVaria

Steam please remember my work computer this is like the 8th time you've sent me a stupid code here.

Origami Robot

ಠ_ಠ

StrixVaria

@OrigamiRobot I don't know what this is, but it makes me want to see these two in an Epic Rap Battle. I know Poe has already been in one.

Origami Robot

Cthulhu is neither spelled right nor is it the name of a book

3

Also, Epic Rap Battles are dumb.

2

Unionhawk

19:52

@OrigamiRobot truf

StrixVaria

@OrigamiRobot Most of them are dumb. Some of them are great.

The ones played by Watsky are good.

badp

Complaining about the spelling Of Cthuhlhuhh seems like missing the point Of Chhthuhuhlhuh

Origami Robot

No, they are fundamentally dumb.

moar liek Slam Poetry Battles amirite

Sterno

Unless the point is to spell Cthulhu wrong.

Unionhawk

Just to make @OrigamiRobot angry? I could see it.

This is something I can get behind

Origami Robot

19:54

@Unionhawk No, to avoid writing his true name

But it's still not the name of a book

Maybe they thought "Author of The Call of Cthulhu" was too clunky to read.

badp

I mean it is supposed to be something that defies human intellect, which is probably why the spelling of its name is intentionally hard

Unionhawk

@badp No

badp

IN THRUTH THE ONLY PROPER WAY TO TALK ABOUT IT IS TO FAIL COMPLETELY AT IT

STARTING WITH THE MOST IMPROBABLE TYPOES OF ITS NAME

Unionhawk

...

badp

SUCH IS THE NATURE OF CHOOTULHUH

THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN REASON PROPERLY ABOUT CATTHOOLOO IS BY ABANDONING REASON

Rapitor

19:57

@badp cthulhu isn't hard to say though...

StrixVaria

badp

FOR REASON STANDS TO KCHULOO LIKE REGULAR EXPRESSIONS STAND TO HIS SPAGHETTINESS XML

Unionhawk

For those of you asking "wtf is badp on about this time?" Just... don't.

Don't ask

badp

(and HTML, too)

Unionhawk

You don't want to know the answer to that question.

Trust me.

StrixVaria

19:59

@badp Is XML the spaghettiest?

badp

REASON IS A TOOL INSUFFICIENTLY SOPHISTICATED TO BREAK DOWN GHTULHUH IN MEANINGFUL PIECES

StrixVaria

It's like we're experiencing live Lovecraft theater.

badp

As written by somebody who hasn't read the book, and bobince

Mostly bobince

Origami Robot

He's right though

"Cthulhu" is just the closest approximation humans can get to his real name.

badp

@StrixVaria XML is spaghetti that can be validated by linguine and it can be translated by bavette into bucatini.

Unionhawk

20:03

@badp you're very weird

badp

@Unionhawk just don't go around confusing linguine and bavette or the ragout will come for you next.

Unionhawk

No? Nothing? Not one star? The Bridge is broken today

badp

(For those keeping track, ragout is the spherical root of meatballs.)

@Unionhawk They're thinking about Ktchohbu

I think we can leave them for dead.

Rapitor

@Unionhawk I don't know why, but My current headcanon in all this is @badp is rambling while driving a truck

badp

@Unionhawk wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/9/96/…

Unionhawk

20:08

There we go. Bridge self-test successful

BRIDGE BACK ONLINE

Origami Robot

BOST

Sterno

HOW DID ASTROMENDA SEARCH GET BACK ON MY BROWSER?

Unionhawk

HAVE YOU BEEN USING THE INTERNET IRRESPONSIBLY?

Sterno

FileZilla bundled it in their release. They didn't use to. Now it just appears sometimes.

I now hate FileZilla forever

Origami Robot

@Unionhawk very yes

Unionhawk

20:14

Did you get 400,000 viruses?

WELL HURRY UP AND DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT GETS WORSE

RPi_Awesomeness

^ Is it just me, or does that goat look like the AT-TE things from star wars...with spikes...and an eyeball...and hair?

SaintWacko

@RPi_Awesomeness From that angle I can't really tell what it is

Origami Robot

@Unionhawk My mouth was a broken JPEG!

RPi_Awesomeness

It looked like that to me in the game...guess I twitched as I took the screenie

Unionhawk

@OrigamiRobot You don't understand! You all understand! I mean don't understand. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SaintWacko

20:19

At least spelling Cthulhu is easier than spelling ~~Kikukabaadgha~~ ~~Kikuqabaadgha~~ Kikubaaqudgha

Unionhawk

(allegedly they're back by the way, we'll see in 2015 I guess)

Origami Robot

@Unionhawk Can i have my leg back now?

murgatroid99

3

Q: What is the etymology of the pizza hat?

I have seen the terms but I don't know from where they originate.

etymology winterfest

Most blatant site abuse for a hat I've seen so far

Batophobia

20:43

cc @BridgeDads

Lazers

0

Q: Transferring fuel between tanks on KSP for Mac

I'm trying to transfer LiquidFuel and Oxidizer between a pair of tanks in KSP on my mac. I've previously done this on Windows and Linux machines by Alt+right clicking on each of the two tanks, and then using the 'In' and 'Out" buttons to control the fuel transfer. However, when I try this (by us...

kerbal-space-program keyboard

Powerlord

Hmm... does anyone play CS:GO in here? I'm wondering if I should make it so that the nomination command works on both long workshop map names and their short names

Regardless of which the user enters. It's a PITA to do though.

Lazers

0

Q: What do promotion quests do? Does it only increase base stats?

In might and magic 8 (and other ones I think) you can do promotion quests, changing your necromancers in to liches for example. While becoming an undead endboss is always great of course, I wonder what the changes are. Anybody know?