The Heap™ – Consultancy ©®

12:34 AM

Make sure you get the right one this time - not the Lavender one like LAST TIME !
And god help you if you upset the lilac one !!!!

Erik Darling

12:54 AM

Look at that subtle coloring. The tasteful thickness.

Criggie

1:09 AM

Look for the LAST TIME you're not getting the Embossing feature in the prod database !

you psycho !

:)

Paul White

2:52 AM

Wordle 1,011 X/6*

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@ErikDarling You're very impressionable

Erik Darling

Wordle 1,011 1/6*

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Paul White

4:16 AM

Erik might not be taking the game seriously

Hannah Vernon

5:09 AM

Wordle 1,011 5/6*

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@PaulWhite ouch!

@Vérace zen guessing

Erik Darling

12:30 PM

@PaulWhite is that your impression

Paul White

I may have been influenced

Erik Darling

hard to avoid with such influential people in this channel

Lamak

Wordle 1,011 X/6

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Paul White

my wife also had an X/6 today

Zikato

The original solution list had some 2300 words. I know there were a couple not from that list. But seems like the search space is almost half now

Erik Darling

12:48 PM

hey look it's @MikaelEriksson - who said something bad about xml?

Zikato

Probably this

0

Q: Is there a simple way to filter XML datatype in SQL-Server?

I have a table in an SQL-Server database, containing a column, called XmlMsg, being of the datatype Xml: "Columns" definition: I would like to filter on that column, which first I did using "simple" text filtering: WHERE XmlMsg LIKE '%status%' This resulted in following error message: Argument ...

Mikael Eriksson

It was someone I'm sure.

Erik Darling

oh dear

"Avoid starting your XPaths with "//")" that is interesting. I have not seen that at all. Using the parent axis ".." is really bad but not that. Do you have any sample query that shows it is bad? — Mikael Eriksson 36 mins ago

Mikael Eriksson

I'm here to learn. Just because I have not seen it does not mean there is something.

Erik Darling

🫡🇸🇪

@MikaelEriksson there's a demo for every point of view, probably

Mikael Eriksson

12:50 PM

@ErikDarling Just listened to you and Joe on youtube.

Erik Darling

and you're awake to talk about it!

Mikael Eriksson

You described a query that just sounded like a big xquery thing.

It was ealy on :).

Erik Darling

ha ha

Mikael Eriksson

It's big it takes time no one knows where or why or what to do about it.

Erik Darling

i think we talked specifically about xml stuff in there too

Zikato

12:52 PM

@MikaelEriksson Which one? There are 3 episodes

Erik Darling

because xpath stuff typically has very wonky costing

Mikael Eriksson

@Z

The latest one

Sean Gallardy

@Zikato did you get my email?

Mikael Eriksson

I keep my self up to date with whatever Erik is up to :).

Zikato

@SeanGallardy I did, thank you. There wasn't a window yet when the incident would repeat AND I was free to pursue it

Paul White

12:53 PM

This would be a simple solution. Though OP, keep in mind you said "The big point is that there are over 250,000 entries in that table and I don't want to overload the database by fetching such large query results." and doing an explicit cast to string like this will end up needing to fetch every row first before filtering, in the execution plan. So it is not any more performant than just selecting all rows, for the most part. — J.D. 4 mins ago

Everyone having a nice chat on main

Zikato

We can wrap it up here. The Heap is closed

Paul White

Looks that way. Chat had a good run

Erik Darling

@MikaelEriksson it's funny, when you say it, it's not creepy

Mikael Eriksson

hehe

Paul White

(it was a little bit creepy)

Mikael Eriksson

12:55 PM

There is an ocean in between so he is quite safe.

Erik Darling

~i have crossed oceans of time to find you~

Mikael Eriksson

You should put that in a song and make some real money.

Paul White

sing a long an invoice

Erik Darling

i could probably put out a rap album called "the invoice"

the invoice volume 2: 30 days past due

the invoice volume 3: sent to collections

the invoice volume 4: your credit score has been negatively impacted

Mikael Eriksson

Ouch, you definitely need some kind of hit.
You could perhaps hire W Ryder as a side kick.
Instant success if you ask me.

Erik Darling

1:02 PM

i'll have to see if that restraining order is still in effect

Zikato

Erik might look tough, but he's a Darling

8

Erik Darling

i don't know why people think i look tough, i don't have any facial scars

whew i was getting lonely

John K. N.

1:21 PM

Wordle 1,011 6/6*

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Star of Bethlehem

Paul White

I'm still wondering if ordering is guaranteed without an ORDER BY

It's a tricky question and I wonder if we'll ever get an answer

Sean Gallardy

@JohnK.N. sunflower in tall grass

Paul White

frogs playing volleyball

Erik Darling

@PaulWhite there just aren't enough examples

Paul White

It's astonishing to me how quickly people are willing to believe they're the first ones to think about it

It's amazing it's never come up before

Erik Darling

1:31 PM

but what about in this one very specific way that i want the answer to be different for

Paul White

sounds a bit quirky

also, what if the earth really is a flat disc

Sean Gallardy

or an AI simulation

Erik Darling

someone would have to defragment it

Paul White

and men didn't really land on the moon

Sean Gallardy

Hollywood basement

Paul White

1:39 PM

most issues can be solved with sunlight, exercise, and eating natural foods

we don't need no sciences

Sean Gallardy

You're not wrong

Paul White

(except the natural things that are poisonous or otherwise deadly)

Sean Gallardy

like green vegetables

Mikael Eriksson

Like french cheese. I heard the moon is made of cheese.

Paul White

skin cancer is caused by sunscreen, you know

honestly, I despair sometimes

Sean Gallardy

1:40 PM

Obesity must be caused by exercise

Paul White

@MikaelEriksson green cheese, yeah

Mikael Eriksson

Looking it up right now. It's old.

The cheese no doubt.

Paul White

There's no doubt an active grift out there than relies on telling people result order depends on the clustering key. Buy our merch to support this important cause

I wonder if ol' 300-baud quirky update man ever sold t-shirts

Sean Gallardy

I have oceanfront property in new mexico for you

better than old mexico

Paul White

of course, it says "new" right there in the name

Sean Gallardy

1:44 PM

That's how you know it's good

Paul White

I could really eat a blue brie about now

Sean Gallardy

🤢🤮

Paul White

You're just jealous that I could

Sean Gallardy

I'll leave it all for you

Paul White

That's v decent of u

Sean Gallardy

1:46 PM

along with the romaine lettuce so you can get hepatitis q and cholera

Paul White

I eat only the healthiest, naturalest lettuce

Grow my own food etc

Just like they did in the Bronze Age

Sean Gallardy

using your own fertilizer I assume

Paul White

can't get any more natural

Sean Gallardy

Now we're in the Paul age, so it tracks

Paul White

I found an old chess set and board from my schooldays in the loft today

Sean Gallardy

1:48 PM

I wish I had a loft

Paul White

Spent the evening cleaning it up

Zikato

Is it pretty?

Paul White

Not especially. It v basic

Folding PVC board, plastic pieces

Sean Gallardy

Classic

Paul White

I don't have a picture handy

But I do have this other one that I use most of time

and this one that's a bit more beaten up, but I still like it

The thing I remember most about the school set is the smell of the plastic.
Sadly, that has long since faded.

Things don't stay new for long.
Except Mexico, I suppose.

Zikato

2:11 PM

Do you have a chess clock?

Erik Darling

@SeanGallardy it makes you look bulky

Paul White

@Zikato Not any more. I gave it away

It was a nice wooden one with analogue clocks and a mechanical action

I gave it to someone who I used to play chess with a lot. He was moving away

Zikato

It's the best one. If you slammed it really hard, you could flag opponent early

Erik Darling

I wonder if the Mexicos should be renamed Default Mexico and Legacy Mexico

Paul White

Is Legacy Mexico superior in every way though

Erik Darling

2:18 PM

As far as I can tell

@PaulWhite what kind of dim moves away from NZ

Paul White

@ErikDarling ah, only away from the local area

too far to play in person on the reg

Sean Gallardy

Erik Darling

2:35 PM

When I win PowerBall I’m going to move New Zealand exactly on top of there

Paul White

You could already buy one of the islands with just your most recent invoices

Do it before people realise the US currency isn't real

We've been thinking on and off about moving for a while now

Sean Gallardy

To where?

Paul White

I'd prefer to go north, whereas the wife prefers south

Sean Gallardy

Gothic castle in the French countryside?

oh

I'm just saying, I'd work the fields for room and board

John K. N.

Money is essentially just paper with colour on it. It's worthless.

Paul White

2:39 PM

@SeanGallardy Well, we all would

Erik Darling

What’s with the north/south preferences? Weather? Cost?

Paul White

Temperature

I prefer the heat, she doesn't cope so well with it

It's not fully linear though. If you go south enough, it just gets more extreme. Cold winters, scorching summers

Longer days further north too. Heaps of factors

The mainland also has the Alps so weather is v different west v east

Wet and cool west, dry and hot east

Erik Darling

Just get a house at either end and chase your preferred climate

Paul White

Powerball dependant

Mobile home might be the way forward here

Erik Darling

That’s one view of things

Paul White

2:50 PM

Van with a mattress, w/e

Boat maybe

Sean Gallardy

I've thought about 5th wheel homes

Paul White

That's a new expression on me

Sean Gallardy

@PaulWhite rvtrader.com/Fifth-Wheel/…

We used 5th wheels a bunch hauling horses, hay, whatever

I can also drive a tractor, bulldozer, skid steer, and a host of other heavy machinery

Paul White

I see

Apparently, it's a thing here too roadlife.co.nz/vehicles/houston-5h461-by-sunliner

Sean Gallardy

this one has Paul written all over it!

Paul White

2:57 PM

crikey

Erik Darling

Would you have room for all your laptops

Paul White

Sean Gallardy

That one is nice, you'll get more room with pop-outs though

Paul White

How much room would two people need

Sean Gallardy

That's a trick question

Charlieface

3:00 PM

@PaulWhite More bad data, pile it on, more more, oh we can fix it with Regex don't worry...

Paul White

@Charlieface It's all horrible

Erik Darling

3:28 PM

At least the regex functions will be usable in computed columns

I guess

Sean Gallardy

3:40 PM

Erik has high hopes

Charlieface

Still no basic features that others provide out of the box. Row comparison, deferrable constraints, enums, arrays.

Erik Darling

3:55 PM

@SeanGallardy one of the PMs replied to my question about that and said yes

Was even nice enough to provide an example

Charlieface

At least I found a use for BIT_COUNT: set-uniqueness constraint dbfiddle.uk/Mr8LPZF6

If only STRING_AGG worked in indexed views. There is no logical reason why it couldn't, it just needs a specialized storage implementation to store the PK with each value, then DML can modify it by taking out any particular value.

Sean Gallardy

@ErikDarling You have a better SLA to PG than I do :D

Charlieface

Also wish STRING_AGG on varbinary worked.

Erik Darling

@SeanGallardy have you tried being moderately influential

Charlieface

4:10 PM

You'd think if they were going down this Regex road there would at least be a TVF called REGEX_ALL_MATCHES or something.

Sean Gallardy

Tried and like a phoenix, caught fire and died

Erik Darling

We’re all looking forward to the phoenix rising cycle

Sean Gallardy

5:27 PM

One day I might hit somewhat influential and moderately identifiable person

Erik Darling

maybe when you graduate to purple dumbbells

Sean Gallardy

One day soon, I hope!

Erik Darling

6:24 PM

@Charlieface can't you convert those to strings?

Criggie

9:45 PM

It used to be 65 million sheep, but that's dropped off as dairy has got bigger.
Also, I'm nearest to Charleston by that map.

Sean Gallardy

Dairy is big now.. so cows? or some type of hipster Gen-Z dairy like oatmilk?

Erik Darling

MALK

sorry

MALK

Criggie

not much oatmilk here - oats are very small so their teats are proportionally small and hard to find. Not enough yield to make it viable

Erik Darling

crikey is all moderation being outsourced to new zealand

crikey, criggie

Criggie

@ErikDarling Oh no - brittle bones! I drink plenty of MALK

Erik Darling

9:48 PM

what is a criggie anyhow

is it slang

a nickname

some sort of drug cigarette

Criggie

simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/Malk

@ErikDarling fucked if I know - it started in high school, in the days of Fidonet.

Erik Darling

i look forward to the day that life no longer imitates the simpsons

it's getting too weird

Criggie

@ErikDarling Would that be a bad thing? Seems that the timezones line up well for American users to be up late and its comfortable my afternoon/evening, rather than flags or vandalism or spam posts being left up till the morning.

@ErikDarling True that.

Erik Darling

i think most things (including me) should be outsourced to nz

Criggie

FYI - petrol is about 9-10 USD/gallon here.

Erik Darling

9:53 PM

don't drive

Criggie

$NZD 2.80/litre.

Erik Darling

would be irresponsible

Criggie

okay - that's one of the quickest ways to remind people that "the other side of the fence is not always greener" when they wax on about how NZ is awesome

On the other hand, switzerland is $18 USD/gallon as the most expensive fuel in the world.

Erik Darling

they can afford it

everyone there is rich

poor people get turned into chocolate, see

it's quite an economy

Criggie

point is, everywhere has downsides. Whether they're important to you or not is another matter.

@ErikDarling Willy Wonka's new factory perhaps ?

Erik Darling

9:55 PM

the important thing to me is that i can save paul if there's an earthquake or tsunami