The Heap™ – Consultancy ©® - 2017-07-28 (page 1 of 2)

Not at all. It's just that CASE has special rules. And there's no guarantee that expressions will behave like columns in general. So, just the normal devil-in-the-details thing.

ypercubeᵀᴹ

at least CONSTANT was a constant?

sp_BlitzErik

12:17 AM

What are these SPECIAL RULES

Paul White

I nearly fell for the decoy ID column

@ypercubeᵀᴹ Well a runtime constant :)

Anyway, the sun has broken through so I'm off to exchange electronic money for goods

sp_BlitzErik

Good luck buying a new Trace Flag

Master Database

4

Q: Disclaimers, every post/comment or is profile enough?

Many of you may know that a good portion of those who ask and answer on this site work for companies that may have a hand in different solutions or consulting services that could otherwise sway visitors one way or another. My question is not about individual company policy, but overall transpare...

discussion

Joe Obbish

12:34 AM

:(

I want to blog about it anyway

but I need to figure more to say other than "Paul White told me..."

sp_BlitzErik

1:44 AM

Say "I told Paul White" instead

Teach that rascal a lesson

Paul White

4:52 AM

Yeah and animate it

Andriy M

5:49 AM

Because you never know, it might make someone's—

Morning

Paul White

morning

My only issue with these disclaimers is that they should actually be disclosures. — Andriy M 5 hours ago

So true! If only English were our first language

By which I mean it is particularly impressive that AndriyM wrote that

Andriy M

That's really, really kind of you, sir.

McNets

6:19 AM

Morning

hot2use

Mirëmëngjes (Albanian (Tosk))

aka Morning

hot2use

7:05 AM

Trying to edit @sp_BlitzErik 's answer. Getting 'An error occurred submitting the edit'.

4

A: Differential Backup Issue - Why? Is this Possible?

You don't need to mess with RECOVERY and NORECOVERY here, all you need is the STANDBY option. Here's a quick demo on how to use it. Create a database, set it to simple recovery, and create a table. Insert data, take some diffs. Fun, right? USE master; /*Create a dummy database*/ CREATE DAT...

McNets

Nice answer BTW

hot2use

He's missing the , DIFFERENTIAL option for two of his BACKUP ... commands, but I can't edit the answer currently.

@McNets want to give it a go?

McNets

7:21 AM

Let me try

I can edit it

hot2use

I can edit, but I can't save the edit.

But it's ok if you can do it.

It's in these sections: /*Take another diff backup*/ (one has the , DIFFERENTIAL, two don't)

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@hot2use do you want , DIFFERENTIAL in the last one of the backup statements?

McNets

@hot2use please, have a look and let me know if it is correct

Andriy M

Makes sense at least

I think I can vote it now :)

McNets

;)

hot2use

7:25 AM

@McNets great

Tom V

@PaulWhite Yeah, my sock puppet was unbanned

hot2use

Strange that I couldn't edit it. Privilege thing? Don't I have enough unicorn points to edit a master answer?

ypercubeᵀᴹ

Good answer. Upvoted, despite the lack of terminators ;)

Paul White

@hot2use Not a privilege thing. Not sure why you received an error message.

Tom V

@PaulWhite Last seen 10 hours ago on stackoverflow

hot2use

7:32 AM

@ypercubeᵀᴹ did he get banned?

Tom V

@hot2use 6 months IIRC

I'm looking forward to his return actually, haven't seen such good comedy in a while

Paul White

Hm

hot2use

@ypercubeᵀᴹ Sorry, would have been both

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@hot2use 2 or 3 times. Which is an accomplishment in itself, in such a small time.

Last ban is 6 months.

hot2use

@TomV Sheez, what did he do to get banned 6 months? Swear at @PaulWhite or somebody else?

Tom V

7:36 AM

I wish I had grandchildren so I could tell them the story about the guy who insisted NULL's are bad for performance

4

hot2use

@ypercubeᵀᴹ Hahahaha

@TomV Hahahaha

Tom V

@hot2use Offend pretty much every moderator, get into endless discussions over incorrect answers, post crap on meta

ypercubeᵀᴹ

> This account is temporarily suspended to cool down. The suspension period ends on Sep 7 at 19:21.

Tom V

He knew better than Aaron because he could explain a math joke to his fellow students or something and what not

check his profile "all activity" tab, it's hilarious

hot2use

@TomV Yes, I think I remember that one

ypercubeᵀᴹ

7:38 AM

We can all see the activity here: stackexchange.com/users/10217681/matthew-sontum?tab=activity

Tom V

A lot of the comment discussions have been deleted though

ypercubeᵀᴹ

except for the deleted questions/answers which don't appear there

Yep, and comments, too.

hot2use

Yes, he was very special.

I can remember his question on meta about up and down voting.

:-)

ypercubeᵀᴹ

You need 10K to see his deleted answer (and comments below) in this q: dba.stackexchange.com/questions/163999/…

McNets

IIRC = if I recall correctly?

hot2use

7:41 AM

I like that 'This is an excellent suggestion. I recently posted a feature request because I had no idea it was awarded at 1k rep. I think most people are probably in the same boat, they want it, but don't want to use the site long enough to get that 1k rep without it.'

ypercubeᵀᴹ

So, here is (the answer) in a question tagged with mysql:

>

If you are into the millions of rows you should consider using a commercial relational database engine, like SQL Server or Oracle, to process your queries. If you end up with SQL Server I could explain how to do everything you are asking about, but I do not have that level of experience with Oracle.

SQL Server 2016 Express is a free product and very easy to download and install. It should meet your needs. If you go this route hit me up with a message once you've converted the database to SQL Server.

hot2use

"Superior people don't need rep to do things"-attitude.

:-| Ehmmmmm

Tom V

The upvote discussion was hilarious too. His co-worker had reasonably high rep on stackoverflow and he wanted to match that, unaware that dba.se has a lot less traffic and a separate rep system

ypercubeᵀᴹ

My comment:

hot2use

lucky us

ypercubeᵀᴹ

7:42 AM

> Non "commercial" databases - like MySQL and Postgres - can handle a few million rows - and much more really - just fine. I don't see any reason to move into an expensive DBMS and even less to SQL Server Express which has many limitations

and his awesome reply:

> I've worked as a DBA for 17 years and I've seen nothing that can compete with Oracle or SQL. Whether or not MySQL or Postgres can handle a few million rows, why not do it in Oracle or SQL? I primarily use SQL Enterprise edition these days, but Express will support databases up to 10 GB in size. The limitations of Express are compared to other editions of SQL Server. Not compared to MySQL, which is already quite limited. – Matthew Sontum

Tom V

Also, he was the new guru at this travel website thing and showing everybody there how it should be done, but his linkedin shows they already fired him :)

hot2use

hmmmm

Tom V

or this one

in Discussion on question by Matthew Sontum: How is misinformation moderated?, Feb 25 at 0:26, by Matthew Sontum

@AndriyM My years of experience are just a proxy for intelligence. I could just have easily written out my IQ or GRE scores. The reason I think I am correct when people disagree with me is because I am correct. Trying to teach that Monty Hall problem insulated me. The entire class thought I was wrong on a problem with an objective correct answer, one I had learned in high school. And this was Cornell, it wasn't a scrub school. Cornell freshmen got it wrong. But now I really should get to work, I'm working from home today and I usually start at 9.

hot2use

Yup, remember that one.

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@TomV Don't forget to tell them that CI is always fastest.

hot2use

7:47 AM

There was a picture to go with it wasn't there?

Tom V

@ypercubeᵀᴹ Haha forgot about that one

Didn't that discussion led him to believe Aaron banned him out of spite?

gbn

Only 17 years of SQL Server? Beginner.

And, perhaps I'm getting old, but I might suggest it's the transsexual hormones based on that ambiguous profile picture

3

Andriy M

@gbn Even so, he's still correct because he is correct.

gbn

"My years of experience are just a proxy for intelligence" -> me and especially others here are going to explode with excess IQ then. Good job I started from a low base

Tom V

We should place bets how long he will last this time before being banned again

ypercubeᵀᴹ

8:00 AM

@TomV It could be.

gbn

Spite or frustration?

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@TomV That would be unfortunate. What's after 6 months, 10 years?

Tom V

@gbn It wasn't even Aaron who banned him

ah:

Also, are you sure only 8 users have reached 40K rep? That doesn't sound right. I looked up my friend who reached 40K rep stackoverflow.com/users/1366033/kylemit and he has answers with 500+ up-votes. How does that happen? I don't see any answers with more than 10 up-votes on the questions I have answered. — Matthew Sontum Feb 16 at 18:27

ypercubeᵀᴹ

He also made semi-serious threats in comments, that he can get Aaron's (and mine) reputation to 0. First by downvoting, then by hacking (when it was explained that there are measures against serious dwonvoting)

And then threats to make fool of Aaron, by using his name in the novel he is writing:

> Yes, I will go back to my novel. Although it is not coming along as well as it was yesterday. The original version was told from the first person, with me as the narrator. And today I've entirely rewritten it from the 3rd person with The Devil as the narrator. It will take a long time at this rate. But I'll send you the Amazon link we it's published, so you can see what sort of hijnxs the @AaronBertrand character gets up to. – Matthew Sontum

Tom V

Haha missed that one

See, I haven't seen comedy like that in quite some time

ypercubeᵀᴹ

8:07 AM

And a post at SO, complaining about SQL Sentry customer service.

(I think was deleted by bluefeet)

Tom V

@ypercubeᵀᴹ Didn't he complain to SQL Sentry about Aaron too?

gbn

For a genius he doesn't half post a lot of questions

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@TomV Yes, I don't remember the details. It was bad.

Tom V

He got away easy with 6 months all things considered

hot2use

Bets are on

ypercubeᵀᴹ

8:14 AM

@hot2use nice! (missed the 25-30 interval)

hot2use

An Excel Sheet I created once for an internal betting situation

Paul White

@ypercubeᵀᴹ You'd make a good proofreader

Andriy M

@hot2use If it's just a document you have full access to, you can also consider adding the missing "n" to the name.

hot2use

@AndriyM done

dezso

8:59 AM

@hot2use I think he meant the name of that... person

hot2use

I corrected it, but refrained from uploading another image.

Should I?

Nobody wants to bet (virtual money).

McNets

@hot2use 3 days

I trust him

gbn

meh images blocked in work

put me down for 6 days

McNets

@gbn that sounds quite restrictive

gbn

youtube is not blocked however.

Swiss bank etc

McNets

9:08 AM

We're currently blocking facebook only

And porn

well, it's barely the same

gbn

FB porn is "breastfeeding pictures". FB not-porn is beheading by jihadis.

2

hot2use

Ok. Everybody gets 50 VR$ (virtual bucks) to place bets on duration.

Durations are: x < 5; 5 < x <= 10; 10 < x <= 15; ... ; 35 < x <= 40; 40 < x <= 45; x > 45.

Bets can be split e.g. 5 VR$ on x < 5 and 45 VR$ on x > 45.

McNets

40 for < 5
10 for 5 < x <= 10

hot2use

Current bets

Andriy M

@hot2use If I may suggest, the legend has a typo for OUTPUT ("respresent")

You probably do need that coffee :)

hot2use

9:21 AM

@AndriyM yup

McNets

@hot2use you can copy & paste here, just to show it to @gbn

tablesgenerator.com/text_tables

gbn

I can see it on my mobile

McNets

ah

gbn

Albeit with binoculars

McNets

ok

hot2use

9:23 AM

ugly...

dezso

@hot2use is there an option to count from the point when he starts posting?

20$ <=5, 20$ 5-10, 10$ 10+

McNets

0

Q: SNMP OID and unique ID of network devices

I am trying to store device information, for SNMP using their OIDs, in a DB table and I cannot find which OID uniquely describes a device? I found for example: SNMPv2-MIB::sysObjectID.0 = OID: SNMPv2-SMI::enterprises.41112.1.4 is SNMPv2-SMI::enterprises.41112.1.4 a unique id that can safely be ...

sql unique-key network

Should this question be migrated?

hot2use

9:44 AM

@dezso Sadly no. But that is part of the fun. Will he be quiet for 10 days after his ban or will he stay away forever?

ypercubeᵀᴹ

Do banned users get an email when the ban is over?

Tom V

@ypercubeᵀᴹ He's been checking

Last seen: yesterday

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@TomV ah thnx!

dezso

@TomV OK, then why isn't there an option 'less than a day'? @hot2use

Andriy M

That's too much coffee

ypercubeᵀᴹ

9:50 AM

@dezso Please place your bet and we'll provide the odds ;)

Tom V

Paul's been away for an hour and this has turned into Ladbrokes :)

Also, Paul can't bet, he can pull the banhammer whenever he wants to make sure he wins

McNets

But he can make an agreement

Andriy M

@TomV He can't hold it, though, in case another mod pulls it first.

hot2use

@dezso There is an option. Its called x <= 5

:-)

dezso

10:15 AM

@hot2use not fine grained enough, I've already put 20 bucks on that

let me change my bet and put the whole amount on it

Paul White

@McNets Self-migrated to Super User

McNets

@PaulWhite ok

sp_BlitzErik

10:33 AM

@hot2use thanks for catching that! It was late and I converted the demo script from one I used showing how to do it with log backups.

hot2use

@sp_BlitzErik you're welcome

@dezso ok 50 VR$ on x < 5

sp_BlitzErik

12:34 PM

@hot2use i got $100 on him not coming back

also, do you have a template of that spreadsheet somewhere? that'd be awesome to have for our sql server 2017 release date contest

hot2use

@sp_BlitzErik Yes, I have the spreadsheet lying around on my USB stick. I can send you a copy if you wish.

Andriy M

A copy of the USB stick?

hot2use

:-P

gbn

@AndriyM My thoughts too

A Calvin and Hobbes transmogrifier?

2

sp_BlitzErik

@hot2use yes and please

hot2use

12:43 PM

Can you send me an e-mail to <deleted> so that I can mail you back?

sp_BlitzErik

sent!

Tom V

@sp_BlitzErik I see you revived the dumb_chauffeur twitter account tweeting about sex toys all the time

sp_BlitzErik

@TomV i most certainly did not

hahaha, oh wow

that's awesome because it's on the first round of business cards that brent printed for me

Tom V

I won't let it onebox here, not everybody is ready for a huge pink dildo

hot2use

@sp_BlitzErik sent back

Tom V

12:58 PM

EAGL:

May 24 at 2:18, by sp_BlitzErik

sp_BlitzErik

danke

Tom V

The same handle now (NSFW)

sp_BlitzErik

chat never forgets

hot2use

@sp_BlitzErik Bitte, gern geschehen.

The odds changed slightly as @sp_BlitzErik has put the maximum of 50 VR$ on "x > 45"

McNets

1:13 PM

I'd like to change coffee by tequila, is it possible?

hot2use

Sure. And what is the percentage to we put into the tequila jar? 40%?

@sp_BlitzErik Forgot to mention. The sheet has 'Sheet protection' enabled, but doesn't have a password assigned.

McNets

If required I'll add money ;)

Tom V

1:37 PM

You can issue DUIs to CTEs. Have you tried that? — sp_BlitzErik 3 hours ago

DUI - HAR MAR SUPERSTAR (Music Video)

►

sp_BlitzErik

@TomV no remorse

Forrest

1:57 PM

@hot2use Ha! I love the betting spreadsheet.

hot2use

2:39 PM

Dang. Missed the chance to edit the e-mail address back out. Any mods in here?

Joe Obbish

@PaulWhite @bluefeet Any mods around?

sp_BlitzErik

i bet they're having a mod party

making fun of people without status

bluefeet

@JoeObbish what's up?

Joe Obbish

@bluefeet Would you be so kind as to edit out hot2use's email address? it's in a few comments above

Thank you!

@sp_BlitzErik you have status you know

sp_BlitzErik

i'm a vip on orderbyselectnull.com

Joe Obbish

2:47 PM

@sp_BlitzErik no, your title is #1 fan

but I meant that you're a room owner

sp_BlitzErik

so are you -- doesn't help us here!

also

i wrote powershell for the first time in years

should i post it on code review?

Get-ChildItem -Path "C:\Users\edarl_000\Downloads\Shutterstock" -Filter "*bigstock-*" | `
Rename-Item -NewName {$_.name -replace "bigstock--","" }

Joe Obbish

never written powershell

do you think I'm a DBA or something?

gbn

Does it not work? The filter looks wrong TBH

sp_BlitzErik

it works perfectly

Paul White

@JoeObbish Sure what's up

Oh

Joe Obbish

2:52 PM

Too slow Pablo

sp_BlitzErik

pablo is being demoted to slowpoke rodriguez

Joe Obbish

I did just write up a lengthy row goal demo

I wonder how I compare to the old masters...

sp_BlitzErik

poidh

Joe Obbish

pics of the demo?

shouldn't you be asking for an animated gif?

sp_BlitzErik

agoidh

happy now?

Joe Obbish

2:56 PM

that's all you get

guess how well that query performs

sp_BlitzErik

rob farley's was better

Joe Obbish

link

sp_BlitzErik

i can't, it's top secret

only people who write good row goal demos can see it

hot2use

@bluefeet thanks

I'm starting to understand why some questions and answers stay a 0 upvotes/downvotes and never get closed.

Paul White

At the risk of being the Fun Police, can we drop the spreadsheet thing now? It's not really fair to make fun of someone who cannot respond - though they can, like anyone, read the public transcript.

hot2use

3:12 PM

Sure. :-)

Paul White

Thanks.

hot2use

You may drop the graphics if you wish to

Paul White

Maybe I'll tidy up some tomorrow. On phone now and life's way too short to be trying that sort of thing with this UI

hot2use

Ahem Back to business

Paul White

Besides fun is only for people that write good row goal demos

Joe Obbish

3:18 PM

you haven't even seen my row goal demo

Paul White

@sp_BlitzErik thank you

Joe Obbish

you might estimate that it'll only knock off one sock

but it'll definitely knock off at least two socks

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@TomV I am somehow reminded of Blackadder ...

metacafe.com/watch/5216187/…

Paul White

I am a free elf

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@PaulWhite Is that free as in beer or speech?

Paul White

3:20 PM

I'm never quite sure of the difference

McNets

Beedroom conversations

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@PaulWhite Well, it's easier to persuade folks to accept free beer.

Paul White

That reminds me. The news tonight had an item describing the health benefits of a glass of wine three or four nights a week.

The wife considers herself twice as healthy as most people on that basis

gbn

A glass of red wine is like 30 minutes in the gym or something

Paul White

I am so ready to believe that

gbn

3:24 PM

So a full bottle must be half marathon levels of exercise

sp_BlitzErik

@PaulWhite she drinks 8 nights a week?

McNets

@gbn Yep, and you forget the gym for a while

Paul White

Jes Borland will likely live forever

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@gbn So if I did a bottle a day would that be equivalent of a 2.5 hour workout?

Sounds like a great way to lose weight.

gbn

huffingtonpost.co.uk/2016/01/08/…

McNets

3:27 PM

@PaulWhite It is really curious find someone named Borland working at Microsoft

Paul White

Was a Norwegian study if I recall correctly. 40% less chance of diabetes or sth

hot2use

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells It sounds like a great way to "bugger up yer liver, aye"

Paul White

@McNets ha I suppose. Hadn't thought of it that way before

Joe Obbish

PX SEND (1 SLAVE)

that's a rare one

gbn

@hot2use same thing in the long run. Don't see many fat alcoholics

Joe Obbish

3:28 PM

thought Oracle tried to remove all references to slaves because it was "offensive"

sp_BlitzErik

@McNets she's quite a believer in microsoft, it was a long time coming. i'm sure she's stoked to be there now.

Paul White

Mind you they didn't say whether people died of non diabetes things more quickly but I wouldn't want to hear about that anyway

McNets

@sp_BlitzErik I suppose

sp_BlitzErik

@JoeObbish depends on what kind of club you're at

gbn

@PaulWhite well, these health nuts are going to look pretty silly dying of nothing one day

Joe Obbish

3:30 PM

I'm too young and innocent to understand

Paul White

@gbn quite right

Hmm I wonder if there are any Ordinary Field Engineers at Microsoft

2

Seems wrong to start at Premier

Joe Obbish

I can think of a few

Paul White

I'm sure it's a cool gig though

Joe Obbish

yeah they get to know all the trace flags

sp_BlitzErik

there is a severe lack of quality control in the PFE department

Paul White

3:33 PM

Now Bob Ward. There's a guy living the dream

Such a nice fella too

sp_BlitzErik

because he uses the debugger all day?

yeah, bob rules

he's no joe sack, but hey ;)

Paul White

Some weird sports preferences but no one's perfect eh

I have Dobby in my mind now so read that as Joe Sock

sp_BlitzErik

u wot m8 (soccer fan voice)

McNets

@sp_BlitzErik please translate

sp_BlitzErik

i don't speak soccer

i just wear head to toe fred perry because i like fancy wreaths

McNets

3:37 PM

Tennis then?

Paul White

The most rock star evening I ever had was with Bob and the SQL Skills people at the high roller villa built into the MGM Grand

McNets

Passing your balls from left to right

Sorry, "the" balls

Paul White

Talk about imposter syndrome

sp_BlitzErik

SOMEONE COVER JOE'S EARS

Joe Obbish

it's not like I have a screen reader

Paul White

3:38 PM

Family friendly?

McNets

BTW, Fred Perry is really old-fashioned

Paul White

Like every fashion it goes in circles

McNets

You just have to wait long enough

Paul White

Thank you for the bonus unicorns @JoeObbish

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@PaulWhite my grandfather would not sit on the table without wine. Not much, 2 glasses. He lived to 92.

Paul White

3:43 PM

I feel I should celebrate with a 🍷

dezso

How about setting up a DB and then trying? — dezso 8 secs ago

Joe Obbish

@PaulWhite How did you figure that out anyway? Reading patents + debugger?

Paul White

@ypercubeᵀᴹ The Mediterranean diet?

McNets

Wine, garlic, onion and tomato.

Paul White

And olives

McNets

3:46 PM

Yes

I swear, all dishes I learnt from my mother starts with onion

Paul White

@JoeObbish it came to me in a dream

Joe Obbish

I want my unicorn points back :(

Paul White

@McNets underappreciated vegetable IMO

McNets

@PaulWhite Not here

Paul White

😁

sp_BlitzErik

3:50 PM

@JoeObbish dba.stackexchange.com/questions/182106/…

Paul White

Hey another 500 unicorn points and I'll have enough for an SE waffle maker

flicks through catalogue

Joe Obbish

does azure not have index compression?

this is azure DW, even

no clue about that at all

sp_BlitzErik

it does -- the missing index algorithm just won't ask for some things

clustered, filtered, xml, compression, etc.

it also really rustles my jimmies that it will cry about missing rowstore indexes when you're using columnstore

Paul White

Nostalgia no doubt

But yeah DW is very different. No clue

McNets

see ya

Paul White

3:56 PM

@wBob might know

1

Q: Clustered columnstore indexes - Do I need to create a non clustered index on a column that's used in a join?

I have two very large tables that need to be joined to produce a data extract. Both tables have clustered column store indexes and are partitioned. DW Sentry advises me in the plan view that it thinks a NC index should be added, but without compression, it's likely to be a very large index. Does...

columnstore azure-sql-data-warehouse

Repeated for context

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The Heap™ – Consultancy ©®