The DMZ

Rory Alsop

10:03

@FEichinger Godwin? For breakfast? I do declare...

kalina

technology and I are not getting on today

the coffee machine refused to make me a coffee

I got back upstairs and my PC had decided to turn off

Rory Alsop

@kalina You don't live on the Heart of Gold do you?

kalina

I went outside to get my magical box of tricks and when I locked my car the car alarm went off

I got back inside and the coffee machine decided it was going to make that coffee afterall

without a cup in place

Rory Alsop

that is a bad tech day

possibly it is trying to tell you to step outside, and away from the tech

kalina

no, it's all the technology I don't take to bed with me revolting against me

my phone is working fine

my tablet is working fine

everything else is just issuing me with a big fuck you

it's a good job I don't have computer controlled locks or heating

I guess I will stay indoors otherwise any ANPR cameras I pass will suddenly learn how to identify a joint from a cigarette

AviD

10:07

@kalina you should get your PC to make you coffee. It already has a cup holder.

emberfang

Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol

The Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol (HTCPCP) is a facetious communications protocol for controlling, monitoring, and diagnosing coffee pots. It is specified in RFC 2324, published on 1 April 1998 as an April Fools' Day RFC, as part of an April Fools prank. An extension is published as RFC 7168 on 1 April 2014 to support brewing teas, which is also an April Fools' Day RFC. Protocol RFC 2324 was written by Larry Masinter, who describes it as a satire, saying "This has a serious purpose – it identifies many of the ways in which HTTP has been extended inappropriately." The wordi...

Arperum

@RoryAlsop I'll be watching Behemoth, Avenged Sevenfold and Sabaton in that order on fridaynight. yay for headliners! I'll miss Opeth, but whatever, choices have to be made anyway.

kalina

@AviD While my machine does have an optical drive, it isn't powered, and thus doesn't function as a cup holder

AviD

@kalina ohhh thaaats the technology you mean that you take to bed.

perhaps you should try sleeping with your coffee machine.

urrm....

there, that doesnt sound as inappropriate.

Arperum

@AviD Bah, funkiller.

AviD

10:09

@Arperum you, on the other hand, should definitely try to get in with your local barrista.

@kalina paper clip + spring latch...

Rory Alsop

@kalina okaaaay. :-)

@AviD I was wondering that too.

Arperum

@AviD I wouldn't mind a night of fun with a beautiful woman.

AviD

@Arperum emphasis on "try" .

make sure someone is filming it....

everybody loves watching a good train wreck.

kalina

@AviD why would I have a paper clip to hand when I do not own either a pad or a pen

seems like a waste

Arperum

@AviD I've been in a (literal) train wreck before (this one). They are most definitely not funny.

kalina

10:13

I had some paper clips, I made metal love hearts out of them and then threw them all away

AviD

@kalina for popping CD drives....

kalina

@AviD I only have like... one CD

Rory Alsop

@kalina awwwww - that sounds really sad

kalina

why would I need a CD drive?

@RoryAlsop it wasn't, I was above 6/10 on the boredom scale

AviD

@kalina to hold your coffee cup. I feel like we're going in circles here.

@Arperum whoa. not pretty.

kalina

10:15

@AviD I have a coaster, I don't need to repurpose my bluray drive as a coffee cup holder

it's actually a bluray writer!

it says so on the front

I had never noticed that before

AviD

I think I lost you. Or you lost me. Either way, someone is lost, never to be seen again.

kalina

I think we're all lost

don't worry though, one day we'll find out it was all just a dream

after 7 seasons

Rory Alsop

My dream

kalina

and 100 episodes

Rory Alsop

heh heh

actually, no, not my dream - mine has almost no boredom

kalina

10:16

my dreams contain no boredom

that's why I love sleeping so much and don't like waking up

those split seconds before waking up are bliss

and then it's the biggest anticlimax ever

as I open my eyes and realise I'm not a pony

then it's only a matter of time before the inevitable choice

AviD

@RoryAlsop what about when you have a nightmare?

kalina

do I get out of the left side of the bed or the right side of the bed?

and even though I know full well that the left side of my bed is against a wall

there have been times...

AviD

@kalina and sometimes you choose that side anyway.

less painful that way.

kalina

it's not like I've ever thought "fuck it, this wall doesn't stand a chance" either

Rory Alsop

@AviD don't seem to have them

kalina

10:20

my brain just takes that long to do a full POST

Rory Alsop

@kalina My eldest daughter and wife are like that. The rest of the family are "PING!Awake now! What can we do with the day?"

I imagine that might annoy the two who like a lie in

heh

AviD

@RoryAlsop oh yes it does.

Rory Alsop

@AviD yes :-)

AviD

my 4yo is swinging from the light fixture before her eyes finish popping open.

I need to figure out how to attach a harness to her, she would generate free electricity to the whole town.

kalina

@RoryAlsop no no, sometimes I have a quick POST, sometimes I have a slow POST, the difference being not how quickly I'm useful, but how quickly I start acting like I'm useful

unfortunately, this leads to further problems

Lighty

10:23

@AviD do that, and feed her lots of sugar, infinite energy

kalina

like trying to negotiate with the microwave because I'm pushing the wrong buttons

ultimately, general rule

kalina requires that all other lifeforms provide at least a 10 meter radius around her until fully awake

Rory Alsop

@Lighty never add sugar

kalina

e numbers ftw

Rory Alsop

@kalina heh

kalina

seriously

if caffeine stops working

and it frequently does

and it's inappropriate to skip straight to hard chemicals

I just munch a large bag of fruit pastilles

or sour skittles

which brings me neatly on to KFC

KFC currently do a skittles icecream type thing

and it's the most amazing thing ever

I am having to actively stop myself from eating KFC every day

Lighty

10:27

the other variants are watery

i like the oreo-krushems :x

Rory Alsop

@kalina Even the Colonel agrees that KFC is not food

kalina

@RoryAlsop I don't care if it's not food, Skittles Krush 'Ems is basically the best thing ever

Rory Alsop

...

AviD

@kalina always a good idea, disregarding awakeness

kalina

@RoryAlsop no

Rory Alsop

10:28

@kalina :-)

kalina

I didn't even read that before hitting enter

Rory Alsop

I really wasn't going to say it

kalina

let's forget it happened

Rory Alsop

lol

kalina

I'm still only 80% awake

but no, skittles krush 'ems taste sugary, not salty

AviD

10:31

@Adnan @RryMccune if you guys get bored with all the awesome talks at #AppSecEU you can go say hi to some of my friends at the Quotium booth.

kalina

you have no friends

AviD

Or actually just wander around listening for Hebrew. Probably quite a few of us there.

And of course we all know each other.

Rory Alsop

@kalina pffffft

kalina

@AviD "listen for Hebrew, probably a few of us there" he says, as though all Hebrew speakers are part of some hive mind

@RoryAlsop THE BEST. THING. EVER

AviD

@kalina I'm not going to pretend I have any idea what that conversation is about, but I will just mention pineapples.

kalina

10:32

@AviD no

AviD

@kalina I have no idea what that conversation is about

Lucas Kauffman

@AviD exactly, the used a symmetric cipher without IV, which means that two passwords which are the same would result in the same cipher text

kalina

@AviD good

I have no idea how that went under the radar like that

but good

AviD

@LucasKauffman yes, but you said something different in your answer there.

kalina

I accept your ignorance of the conversation as a perfectly valid and acceptable outcome

AviD

10:33

@kalina we all rely on @RoryAlsop. Blindly.

kalina

@AviD I don't

Lucas Kauffman

@AviD To give you an example Adobe used a bad implementation for password storage which lead to the same issue as you are having now: the value resulting from hashing the password was the same for several users if they were using the same password (in their case due to re-using an IV while performing symmetric encryption,

kalina

the roryhood of rory is not to be trusted

Lucas Kauffman

@AviD I clearly state that they use symmetric encryption with IV re-usage

kalina

I'm so tempted

guys

I need input

that is not an innuendo

if you had the money available

would you buy into google glass

AviD

10:36

@LucasKauffman and you said they hashed the password. And that they reused IV. which they clearly didnt do, since they didnt use an IV at all!

Lucas Kauffman

@AviD in dutch we call that ant fucking

AviD

@kalina not now. Better things to do with that much mad cash. And then you would just regret it when a good version comes out 6 months from now.

@LucasKauffman I have no idea what that is intended to represent, but I will use this line often.

kalina

fine

AviD

Is that a good thing? is it you f*king the ants? is it two ants doing the f*king? how do they even do that? So many questions!

kalina

it's probably for the best

Lucas Kauffman

10:38

@AviD It means you are distracted by details and keep focussing on them. Regardless, I have altered my answer specially for you

kalina

guys

Canada has accepted Bitcoin as a legitimate currency

AviD

@LucasKauffman no, I'm not distracted, I already upvoted you. I'm just helping you realize the mistakes you made in life.

@kalina NO.FRIKKIN.WAY.

Arperum

@kalina That is a horrible idea.

Lucas Kauffman

@AviD and I appreciate that, let me learn from mistake

AviD

@kalina in dutch they call that ant fucking.

kalina

10:39

Bitcoin is MONEY, says Canada

Rory Alsop

@kalina - same as @AviD: not yet. I like the concept, and some of the implementation possibilities, but it's not there yet

kalina

and it's not like some random tiny group of maplesyrup slurpers either

Lucas Kauffman

I've got a few doge and litecoins

kalina

it's THE tiny group of maplesyrup slurpers: the Canada government

AviD

@kalina well tbf, at least from that article, its not so much as treating it like an exchangable currency, or legal tender, just as a taxable one.

Like when the government started enforcing income tax for successful gigolos.

kalina

10:43

tax is important

AviD

They're not saying it's legal, they're just saying you will pay tax on it anyway.

kalina

if the governments of the world legalised marijuana and then taxed it, I wouldn't complain

AviD

@kalina this was always my opinion.

kalina

if the governments of the world legalised cocaine and then taxed it, I wouldn't complain

if the governments of the world legalised euthanasia and then taxed it, I wouldn't complain

if the governments of the world legalised involuntary euthanasia and then taxed it, I wouldn't complain

AviD

@kalina umm... isnt "involuntary euthanasia" just "murder"?

kalina

10:45

if the governments of the world legalised being silly and then taxed it, there would be outrage

Rory Alsop

@kalina heh

Arperum

@kalina It would be silly.

kalina

@AviD no, it's not "just" murder: it's murder that the lower classes aren't intelligent enough to understand

Rory Alsop

being silly and making a profit - that gets taxed

AviD

if that was legal but taxable, the kickstarter to pay for your euthanasia tax would already have been funded.

@RoryAlsop Steve Gibson?

kalina

10:46

I am committing involuntary euthanasia against this group of individuals

with fire.

that will be $99 in taxes please, before you continue

oh, very well, here is $100, keep the change

oh dear

the person I was supposed to have lunch with is having a worse day than I am with technology

guess lunch is cancelled

AviD

maybe the technology is all cursed. or possessed.

Anybody know a powershell cmdlet to compare two whole directories?

kalina

I was looking forwards to a quaint little lunch in a coffee shop though

@AviD Compare-Object (gci C:\dir1 -recurse) (gci c:\dir2 -recurse)

AviD

I... am at a loss.

I am legitimately surprised by the source, but that looks like it just might work.

@kalina thank you thank you!

kalina

reverting back to non-geekette

so apparently, my friend is suffering through a raid array failure

and unfortunately for him

his team of IT SPECIALISTS LOL

decided that it's acceptable to backup their business critical data to the same disc that stored the original business critical data

so even though they do do backups

they've lost their backups in the failure that took down the main database

Terry Chia

@kalina Wut

kalina

10:56

I got that far into the excuse as to why lunch was cancelled and just started laughing uncontrollably

so now 2 out of 3 discs in the array have failed

and thus, I have to make my own coffee

Terry Chia

@kalina What RAID level? Not that it matters.

kalina

so remember kids, no matter how bad your day is going, at least you wouldn't back up important data to the same media that the original data is stored upon

@TerryChia I honestly don't know, it might have been mentioned but I wouldn't have heard it over the laughter

I'm so glad I no longer work in the IT industry

I guess I must go fend for myself

chivalry is dead

Lucas Kauffman

11:18

@TerryChia with three disks you need to ask :p?

Rory Alsop

heh

Terry Chia

@LucasKauffman They could be doing something completely non-standard for all I know.

Lucas Kauffman

@TerryChia true, they could go full retard with raid 0 :p

Kisunminttu

11:37

@kalina You really should, it's definitely in my top 10 :)

Adnan

@AviD Alright, I'll go there now. Let's see.

Kisunminttu

@Adnan hey, plate filler. How's it hanging? :*

Adnan

@Kisunminttu What is it, hun?

@Terry Dude, the OWASP CTF is so fucking difficult!!

Terry Chia

@Adnan Why are you telling me? :P

Lucas Kauffman

@TerryChia He wants you to jump on a plane, fly to the UK and help him beat the challenges!

Terry Chia

11:44

@LucasKauffman If he pays for the flight, sure. :P

AviD

@Adnan what, you're bored already??

@Kisunminttu isnt "plate filler" a slur for somebody you use just to fill your bored time with, for lack of somebody better? I think there is something like that in French, no?

Kisunminttu

@AviD If it is, I had no clue about that. And that is definitely not how I feel about @Adnan :)

kalina

@Kisunminttu FINE

delicious

ice

cream

Kisunminttu

@kalina *ice cream cake

kalina

...

kone

give me something ice cream related beginning with k

Kisunminttu

11:56

I think I'm going to make a cake next week

When @Adnan comes back home

kalina

boredbored bored bored bored boerd bored boredboredboredboredboredbored bored berod bored

b00r3dd

bee ooh are eee dee

Lucas Kauffman

not sure why, but I find reggae to be quite relaxing when working

AviD

@LucasKauffman reggae and php seem to go together.

Transcript for