I could, but I suspect that's not really what's on your mind, so I'm not going to spend time doing so. I'll just point out that when you started complaining about a real person you interact with (and we-all don't know), someone stepped up to remind you just to be kind when doing so. (Shortly after you calling this person "the crusader-without-a-cause type.") We've had plenty of hard conversations in here about people in our real lives, gaming-related or not. (Hell, we have hard conversations in here about each other.) Part of the way we do so is by focusing on things they've done or said, r…
What is really on my mind is that when such things are said I don't get to respond, at all. Just have to go on conversing with whatever they made it sound like I'd done and intended hanging in the air.
And if I have to go on talking implicitly agreeing that I'm guilty of everything that they made it sound like I'm guilty of, I don't want to go on talking. Ever again. Anywhere, really, or certainly not anywhere I don't know the people very well indeed and have friends (i.e. my parents and the five people in the aforementioned group), but certainly not here.
So, you can respond (chatizens are pingable for some number of days after their last appearance in the room, I forget what the number is, you can tell if someone's pingable by starting to type an @user mention and see if the chatbox tries to autocomplete). Whether you should or not Ill leave to your judgment.
Yes, because the whole thing is about not being allowed to defend myself in front of those people and if I'm not even to discuss it in front of those people... Still, I suppose if it ends up concluding that there is in fact a way I could do that, then that wouldn't matter.
@A.B. This is "in front of" @NautArch. It's just giving people who might not want your drama splatted across RPG chat the choice in whether or not to interact with it.
@A.B. Yes. I just pinged them. They're in this room frequently.
If you have something you want to say to people, kindly address it to them and listen to their responses, assuming that they're acting with good intent.
@A.B. Okay, I just want to give you a heads-up: that's not private.
Literally any chat user can read through that, enter, write messages there.
If you wrote things expecting that to be private and would rather they're not discoverable, I suggest asking an elected moderator to delete the room for you.
(I'm not reading through it, both to safeguard your previous expectation of privacy and because I should have gone to bed 45 min ago.)
On the matter of "defending yourself," I'd like to suggest--but I'm doing it with baited breath, because we're basically strangers and I'm wary of giving even my best friends unsolicited advice--that you shift that mindset a bit. (1) I think you're going to get a lot more out of whatever follows if you approach it in the spirit of "hey, I'm newish here, I don't mean to bang anyone's nose, I'm trying to follow the cues I see, but I clearly goofed there somewhere, can you take five minutes to talk through the other day's conflict with me?"
I get that there's internal harm: you feel judged and misjudged.
I can't say whether or not either of those things happened.
I didn't mean it's bad English, I just meant it's not really fulfilling the purpose of language to plead your case with so many words that nobody else knows because you made them up last week.
I don't know why I keep getting taken the wrong way so constantly in chats and especially in here, I'm usually good at writing.
@A.B. Probably because you're using words carelessly. Look at the line above this: "so many words that nobody else knows because you made them up last week." How many words was it? One, right? That's been in urban dictionary for over a year? (Which took me all of twenty seconds to find."
We maintain a diverse community here. That includes users who may be unaware of other groups' norms or language. So occasionally someone will say something that offends someone else, usually out of ignorance and not intending harm. But we also assume good faith, so the user isn't banned or shunned. Instead another user corrects them. Then they learn and move on. There are plenty of active users here, including myself, in this category.
So I can sympathize if you feel attacked. But the reality is that nobody's silencing or attacking you.
I've really got to hit the sack. I'm sorry to run so soon after saying something fairly confrontational like that ^^. If you want to pick this up, I might be around a bit tomorrow and definitely monday afternoon/evening.
Would certainly not have the nerve to trust Urban Dictionary, though, a lot of its definitions seem to be jokes and some of them very rude ones. There are other possibilities though, should've thought of English.SE myself for one.
...I was at one point, though this discussion has got rather complicated so I can't swear that it's the same one you're thinking of.
@nitsua60 My apologies to both @A.B. and @nitsua60 for not sticking around, but real life beckoned. I do want to say that my comments to move on were to everyone in the room and not directed at a single person.
