The Comms Room

Ryan Ries

00:01

@MichaelHampton Like I missed the sores during my remission NO WAIT I AM JUST KIDDING HA HA

Wesley

@84104 Never underestimate the power of my butt.

Cole

BUTTS

Journeyman Geek

eh, I need to learn to skateboard at some time ;p

I've always wanted to, but meh

Olipro

00:18

oh this is gold

tech was apparently seeing routing weirdness on a database server

runs ip rou flush all instead of ip rou flush cache

Bad Times.

Zoredache

00:29

@Olipro been there, done that. The iproute2 syntax seems designed to encourage you to do things like that.

Olipro

I'm going to be really mean here and say "read the manpage dude"

Zoredache

I know the syntax, my statement is that the syntax seems to be designed to make you fail.

ip route flush is the option that is more destructive.

from a usability perspective, the most destructive options should not be the default

ip route flush, should just flush the cache

'ip route flush all' should be an option that completely wipes the route table.

Wesley

@Zoredache #linux #norules #nobrains

Cole

I'm going to light my neighbors on FIRE.

Stop fucking stomping/banging.

Olipro

banging eh?

Cole

00:42

Not the good kind

Olipro

@Wesley it sorts the men from the boychiks

it's like switchport trunk allow vlan 1234 versus switchport trunk allow vlan add 1234

one gets you fired ;)

Dangerous commands - I.T. Darwinism at its finest.

jscott

"I've also had equipment (servers) confiscated..." Oh no!

1

A: How does the US Federal Government shut down a website?

This is usually accomplished via a subpoena and a warrant... That's all it's taken in some cases I've been involved with. They can force an ISP to redirect DNS. I've also had equipment (servers) confiscated...

No more produce for you!

Mark Henderson

Now that is off-topic! @MDMarra feel free to close the shit out of that one

Interesting, but off topic

Olipro

01:05

this is how @Zoredache got banned from the supermarket: i.imgur.com/VjM8nau.jpg

Mark Henderson

01:20

I'm going on holiday for a week so today I'm rushing to document all the procecdures/etc that I haven't done yet. This is a nightmare - and why you need to stay ontop of documentation

I'm just throwing a 1000 line powershell script in there and writing "deal with it" in the comments

My personal favourite?

ewwhite

@jscott Produce client's website disappeared one day... I thought it was user error... I call the hosting provider, and it turned out that the VPS host containing the produce company's e-commerce site also had some kiddie pr0n... The hardware was confiscated. Probably the best example of why having offsite backups is critical.

voretaq7

@MarkHenderson Fuck that shit, just go on vacation and trust it to all hang together.

Mark Henderson

@voretaq7 The only time I ever did that, I was 2,500 kilometers away in an area with no internet connection and a goddamn server caught fire

voretaq7

@MarkHenderson also you have images in your signature. You make the baby jesus cry.

Mark Henderson

And I had to come back early to start DR

voretaq7

01:25

@MarkHenderson Which is why we have halon.

Mark Henderson

@voretaq7 Care factor == 0

jscott

Images, stylized text....

Mark Henderson

@jscott Because that's what anyone born after 1980 expects to see in an email

jscott

@MarkHenderson I kid. I convert all messages to plain-text (Google Apps here) when replying.

Mark Henderson

fwiw the images are multipart attachments so at least they don't need to be downloaded. Also everyone I deal with is, you know, up with it and have a proper email client that supports fancy things like multipart attachments and you know, images

MDMarra

01:27

@MarkHenderson your signature is obnoxious

voretaq7

@MarkHenderson spam score +500 :-)

Mark Henderson

@jscott I do the opposite. If I get a plain text email, I HTML that shit

ewwhite

My signature continues to be: dash-dash space...<newline>Name<newline>email address

Mark Henderson

@voretaq7 I have neve rbeen caught in a spam filter

jscott

@MarkHenderson :)

MDMarra

01:27

Oh wait, I see you guys are on it already. Carry on

voretaq7

@MarkHenderson you'd be caught in mine :-)

actually

ewwhite

@MDMarra Hmmm, why are YOU in here?

voretaq7

how many images?

Mark Henderson

@MDMarra Nobody except for you guys, ever, have had a problem with my signature

voretaq7

just 2?

Ryan Ries

01:28

I just made my first post on the English Stackexchange site... downvote if you disagree with my answer! english.stackexchange.com/questions/122781/…

mossy

Damn, no Chris S

Mark Henderson

@voretaq7 There's only one image in that signature

voretaq7

@MarkHenderson LOOK AT OUR GLORIOUS IMAGE-HATING NECKBEARDS!

Mark Henderson

and it has alt-text for those of you on plain text

MDMarra

@ewwhite came to ask for money

mossy

01:28

Will someone tell that guy that I really appreciate him putting in a good word for me, even if the company is a bit random.

voretaq7

@MarkHenderson then you'd be fine. My filter draws the line at 3 inline images.

ewwhite

Is it wrong to complain about the quality of the mixed nuts on a First Class flight?

voretaq7

because yes, I got an email from someone whose signature was multiple images. (Their company logo, an image version of their business card, and some kind of artist's misconception of what they look like)

Mark Henderson

@mossy Use @@ to mesage him directly

voretaq7

@ewwhite SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BE HAPPY WE'RE FEEDING YOU, HUMAN CARGO REVENUE UNIT!

ewwhite

01:29

after being delayed 3 hours and seeing a very large dog pee on someone's shoe in the waiting area

mossy

@MarkHenderson k.

jscott

@ewwhite What, no mac-i-fuckin-damias?!

Mark Henderson

@ewwhite First class? I would complain about everything. Cabin staff not sexy enough. Sexy cabin staff wearing too many clothes. Not enough lap dances.

mossy

@MarkHenderson how have you been?

voretaq7

@ewwhite er, I mean "Sure, but not to the cabin crew - it's not their fault."

ewwhite

01:30

@jscott they look to be large macadamias...

MDMarra

@ewwhite flying sucks. Bring your own snacks. Unless there's only one cashew in the whole bag if that's the case, kill someone.

ewwhite

@MDMarra Bag?!? Ceramic dish, fool.

voretaq7

@MarkHenderson You're getting the lap dance from the superqueer ultra-flaming dude. All the chicks are occupied lapdancing the lesbians.

Mark Henderson

@voretaq7 Does he have man boobs that I can motorboat? If so then I'm OK with that

MDMarra

@ewwhite have no illusions - it was in a bag 11 seconds before it was served to you.

2

ewwhite

01:31

@MDMarra Foil warming tray...

You Philadelphia people! No culture.

voretaq7

@MDMarra 15 seconds. It's a long walk from the first-class "galley"

MDMarra

I bet they picked them right from the rain forests of brazil right before your flight.

ewwhite

@MarkHenderson Ever been to boobs or moobs?

@MDMarra As they should. I pay big $ for this shit.

voretaq7

@ewwhite and honey, that's Corelle, you're not allowed to have ceramics anymore. Fucking terrorist.

Cole

lol moobs

MDMarra

01:33

bling bling

ewwhite

I'm on the flight home from another week in the office.

So much has changed...

voretaq7

@MarkHenderson No, the male cabin crew has to be at least mildly attractive so I can be enthralled until I realize they live up to the airline stereotype :P

ewwhite

I come away from my trips not hating everyone.

voretaq7

@ewwhite you're losing your edge.

ewwhite

But then, something always breaks.

voretaq7

01:35

@ewwhite usually the camel's back

after someone throws a bale of hay on it.

ewwhite

So I think our Isilon storage array is failing for a client who's trying to use it with Active Directory.

(which sounds like a terrrrrible idea)

voretaq7

@ewwhite (1) where the fuck do they come up with the names for these things?

@ewwhite (2) yes, it does.

Mark Henderson

@voretaq7 hah

@ewwhite I have not. But I shall now. I think I can guess what its content is.

ewwhite

Client with 60+ HP DL360 G7s... running Windows 2003...

yes, a new install... with Windows 2003...

on modern hardware

voretaq7

I'm going to start an equipment company and we're going to have an absinthe mail server appliance, a Cerberus Kerberos appliance, and um.... the IDS/IPS combo will be called Othello.

MDMarra

01:38

@ewwhite they have 1+ years of support left on it

then its OEXS

ewwhite

@voretaq7 I believe the Isilon uses a BSD...

or is based on it.

EMC Isilon

Isilon Systems, was a computer hardware and software company headquartered in Seattle. It sells clustered file system hardware and software for digital content and other unstructured data, to a variety of industries. Isilon was acquired by EMC Corporation in November 2010. Business overview In 2002, Isilon received venture capital funding from Sequoia Capital. Isilon's customers include NBC Universal, Cedars-Sinai, Kelman Technologies, and Kodak, among others. Isilon designed and developed its clustered storage systems specifically to address the needs of storing, managing and access...

voretaq7

@ewwhite FreeBSD something-or-other yes

ewwhite

So all windows environment... except for the SAN and VMware... and they're putting all of their in-VM storage on the SAN...

voretaq7

which just increases the terribleness of trying to make it play nice with Active Directory :)

ewwhite

Actually, we do this a lot....

voretaq7

01:39

I mean they certainly can

it does work

but it can't be happy about it

MDMarra

Netapp CIFS filers have great AD support

voretaq7

@ewwhite . . . why don't they just have the Isilon provide storage to a file server? :)

ewwhite

for instance, if a client with 200 VMs needs some shared resource, my team will put it on the SAN instead of sharing from a VM.

And I think there's value in serving from a native OS/filesystem.

voretaq7

@ewwhite absolutely

MDMarra

@ewwhite nothing like making storage upgrades next to impossible with the nested dependencies there

Cole

01:41

This was awesome: upworthy.com/…

voretaq7

AND if your SAN isn't shit you get the benefit of SAN replication, snapshotting, etc.

ewwhite

@MDMarra Didn't that happen this morning?

4

Q: VMWare ESX and guest settings for Netapp cluster failover

If I'm running VMWare 5.x on FC [edit] LUNs presented from a Netapp running ontap 8.x in 7 mode, what steps should I take to ensure that the VMs can withstand a worst possible case cluster node failover? HBA settings? ESX settings? Modifications to the VMs' settings? I know this is all handled wi...

So the client shows up on our doorstep today.

and emergency meetings ensued... with EMC on the line and all.

fix this bug!!!

EMC hung up on us

Cole

WAT

Falcon Momot

hahaha

ewwhite

Maybe they didn't hang up, but they aren't helping.

Mark Henderson

01:47

@ewwhite I used to work with a woman, who, whenever a question arose that she didn't know the answer to, she would just hang up on the other person

ewwhite

@MarkHenderson I need to get up on that. Nice tactic.

Mark Henderson

(she was fired, obviously, but wtf?)

ewwhite

So I'm reading through the logs of what happened...

looks to be a Kerberos bug in Isilon's OneFS.

voretaq7

@MarkHenderson . . . "I'm sorry, we got disconnected!"

Mark Henderson

@voretaq7 I think she would just cross her fingers that someone else picked up the call next time

ewwhite

01:53

So @voretaq7 @MDMarra If you needed file storage for hundreds of VMware VMs... would you put it on the SAN or on a dedicated file server... or a file server VM that lives on the SAN... GO!

Mark Henderson

#3 but I suspect that my opinion is not as valid as people who, you know, know what they're doing

ewwhite

I think #3, too...

get the resiliency of the SAN, but the VM portability...

voretaq7

@ewwhite #3 definitely

ewwhite

@voretaq7 For any particular reason?

voretaq7

@ewwhite #1 would require me to provision the SAN on a shit ton of hosts, and use cluster-aware filesystems. This would make me miserable (and cost a shitload if it's not an ISCSI SAN)

ewwhite

01:56

@voretaq7 We create storage nets on the VM and VM hosts... and trunk it back to the same storage that the VMs reside on.

voretaq7

@ewwhite #2 means I can't dynamically expand it beyond the capacity of the host it goes on, and if I lose the server for some reason we lose the storage

ewwhite

It's like giving yourself a blowjob....

voretaq7

#3 gives me all the file-serving flexibility of #2, the redundancy of VMotion, and the provisioning flexibility of a SAN

Matt Bear

heh that was satisfying

ewwhite

Are we doing it wrong?

voretaq7

01:58

@ewwhite no, it's like giving every server a blowjob - storage slut :P

I don't think any of them is "wrong", but #3 fits my world model the best :)

Matt Bear

my DC's are now locked down tighter then fort knox

voretaq7

well actually that's a lie - I think #1 is a little wrong (because you're whoring out the SAN when you could have a pimp in the middle to mediate)

and also because clustered filesystems make me nervous

ewwhite

@voretaq7 Oh, it's not clustered filesystems... it's just CIFS or NFS to the VMs from the SAN

Matt Bear

felt good to be able to go in and remove IT from the RDP list, drop them from domain admin, and force disconnect anyone that was still on. They have RSAT and MMC, there was no goddamn reason to be touching my DC's

voretaq7

@ewwhite . . . you make god cry :P

<-doesn't think SANs should serve user-level protocols

ISCSI is OK. FC is OK. NFS, CIFS, etc. are bad.

but I'm also somewhat neckbeardy

Matt Bear

02:02

@Wesley my daughter's first word was cat...

today

wtf

Cole

LOL

Mark Henderson

@MattBear Awesome!

Cole

Mine was "shit" so...

Mark Henderson

Congrats

It's a pretty damn easy word to say

Matt Bear

@MarkHenderson yeah.. shes 10 months

Mark Henderson

02:03

@MattBear Well it might be a wtf but you should be proud

Matt Bear

but cat? damn nasty ass rodent things

@MarkHenderson I dunno if I'm gonna count it lol, I think the first two+ non repeating syllable word should be the first word

<-- not a cat fan

ewwhite

@voretaq7 you make sense.

I'm telling the people at work

Matt Bear

but still... cool! shes growing too fast =/

voretaq7

@ewwhite that happens sometimes. I'm trying to work on my incoherence :P

Mark Henderson

03:00

Dude, do you even bro? — Mark Henderson 2 mins ago

voretaq7

@MarkHenderson dudebros scare me :(

Journeyman Geek

Probably NSFW but this needs to be shared i.imgur.com/dMe3Cet.gif

Mark Henderson

@JourneymanGeek 10/10 would bang

Mark Henderson

03:19

2

Q: MacBook Pro takes about 45 seconds to boot up with SSD, no faster than with hard drive

I have a month old 13 inch Macbook Pro (8GB RAM and 2.9 Ghz i7) and today I swapped the stock HD for a Samsung 840 Pro. I've shut it down and booted up several times with the SSD installed and it takes just about 45 seconds each time. Is this normal? It seems abnormally slow as I've heard MBP'...

osx hard-drive boot ssd macbook-pro

OMG 45 seconds to boot! Kids are so spoiled these days

Before quick POST, it would take 90 seconds just to check 4MB of RAM

(see what I did there @MDMarra? I used the correct capitalisation. Fuck you)

Journeyman Geek

lol

@MarkHenderson: and boot processes have gotten more optimised.

Windows 8 boots pretty impressively fast, as does my ubuntu 12.04 instance

not as fast as my haiku VM tho ;p

ewwhite

0

Q: Linux monitor email processing live

Is there an application that can link all the mail processing steps together from connection to delivery in a way that shows the whole process and the decision live? I know it's possible to tail -f /var/log/mail.log, but when there becomes a large amount of connections and internal steps (clie...

linux email monitoring live

Mark Henderson

@JourneymanGeek Our Dell's take about 5 minutes just to POST

ewwhite

A watched pot never boils...

@mark even longer for HP

Mark Henderson

@ewwhite Too many fancy toys to initialise :P

2

Q: How to make my HP server boot faster?

I have an HP ProLiant DL370 G6 server that I am using as a workstation. It takes 60 seconds during reboot and cold boot before screens post with a discrete Radeon HD6xxx GPU. What can I do to make it boot faster?

hardware hp boot proliant bios

1

Q: How to speed up boot sequence on a Dell PowerEdge 1950

Everytime I had to reboot one of the Dell PowerEdge 1950 we have, there are very long tests and with them the boot sequence becomes incredibly long. Is there a way to turn off all these tests (or at least speeding them up) ?

boot dell dell-poweredge

3

Q: Making HS22 Blades boot Faster

Anyone notice that the HS22 blades take at least 3-4 minutes to get to booting the OS? Is there anything that can be done to get it through the BIOS faster?

boot hs22

8

Q: IBM Server takes a long time to boot past UEFI to OS

I have a pair of IBM System x3620 servers. These servers do fine once they finally reach the point where the operating system takes over, but it takes them forever to get past the new-fangled UEFI boot system... a good five minutes or so; maybe longer. I haven't timed it, but it's the kind of th...

boot ibm uefi

Wesley

03:26

@MattBear Give her a headbonk for me!

Journeyman Geek

@MarkHenderson: those are servers tho. rebooting one outside a planned maintenance window means something Bad has happened

Mark Henderson

2

Q: HP ProLiant ML110 G7 Questions

Have an HP ProLiant ML110 G7 running Server 2008 R2. Question #1: This server takes FOREVER to boot. I think it's because of "HP Power and Thermal Calibration" it does at the beginning of every boot. Is this necessary, and if not, can disable it to speed up the boot times? Question #2 ...

hp proliant power-management external-hdd

Wesley

@MarkHenderson What the spammity spam you spam chucking cunt box?!

Mark Henderson

@Wesley Lots of people with slow servers

ewwhite

Incidentally, Supermicros boot in 30 seconds.

Wesley

03:31

@MarkHenderson I know. All of mine everywhere take about two minutes to get to loading the OS

So many cards and pre-boots and checks, and doodads and thingies.

Mark Henderson

04:02

@Wesley I always order my servers with extra doodads

The more doodads and widgets the better!

Wesley

And wingdings. And spoilers. And a sunroof.

Mark Henderson

Can't have a server without Wingdings! How will I write my deployment scripts?! thedailywtf.com/Articles/Classic-WTF-Symbolic-Installation.aspx

Wesley

And your mom.

Mark Henderson

fwiw that dailywtf story is my life in a nutshell with one particular client

Wesley

@MarkHenderson They say you're criminally incompetent, meanwhile they read nothing you write and do nothing you say?

Mark Henderson

04:23

@Wesley Absolutally

We finally caught them out in their lie the other week because we had concrete proof that they did not follow our deployment instructions. They shut the fuck up and I havent heard from them since

Wesley

@MarkHenderson ಠ_ಠ

Mark Henderson

Normally they give us a 40 minute lecture every time something goes wrong, to which we protest

Wesley

@MarkHenderson Man, is it their IT department or is it leadership like a owner?

Mark Henderson

Now that they're busted being douchnozzles they're very quiet

@Wesley It's the whole business heirachy. Everyone is scared for their jobs, everyone builds little castles that they defend for more than they're worth, and most critically, when something goes wrong, the first thing management do is ask "Who did this?" rather than "How do we fix it?"

This is the same team that stabbed me in the back by pretending to be chummy with me, then taking my words in what I thought was an informal private conversation and using them to make everything look like it was my incompetance

Wesley

@MarkHenderson So what do they expect, do you think? Do they expect someone to come in and do all the work for them and not charge them an hourly rate?

Mark Henderson

04:26

@Wesley I would love to do it on my own. I wouldn't even charge them - we would come out ahead because instead of spending 5 hours dealing with their shit I could do a deployment in 30 minutes flat

But I have no access to any production machines. I can't even load the app

Journeyman Geek

04:40

@MarkHenderson so, they work like everyone else, and now how things should work in an ideal, double rainbow filled world? ;p

Mark Henderson

@JourneymanGeek I don't know what other people do, but I deal with a lot of large organisations - from governments, to local councils, to $50M/year builders, and all of them have said "Ok, yes, we see what value your products can add to our business and we will work with you to get this done". These guys actively block us at every corner and every turn, and they have a reputation within their own company as being killers of projects

Never in my life have I come across such arrogance and stubbornness. I would fire the lot of them, because the job of IT in a company is to support the company and provide people with the tools that they need to do their job

Yes, they have to do it safely, and securely, and protect border networks and make sure it doesn't leak like a sieve, but to block projects simply because you personally don't like them, and for no good technical reason, is ludicrous.

Ward

05:30

Just saw Miles' link to a translated version of the /About page... I prefer the Tourette's translation:

porkjerky.com/free/translator.php?site=http://serverfault.com/…

Journeyman Geek

@Ward: so it sounds a little like @Wesley on the nip?

Wesley

Server Fault is a question and answer site for professional system and network CLIT COCKHOLE CLIT WARTY SNATCHDOUCHENUGGET administrators

4

I'd agree with that.

ASSCOW FAT BUTTBUCKET GUTTER PUKEFACE

Man, that place holds no punches.

Mark Henderson

@Wesley The about page is hilarous when you get to ewwhite's quoted answer

Wesley

@MarkHenderson I KNOW.

YOU FAT ASSBUCKET

Mark Henderson

@Wesley I literally sat giggling in my seat like a tub of lard when I read that

> fuck you fo' this muthafucka! - Nick M. May 25 '12 at 21:50

2

It's also funny because he's about the only person here who is qualified to talk like that anyway

Wesley

05:41

OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT

nope.

Mark Henderson

Yes yes y'all.
Generally dis will increase tha potential read n' write capabilitizzlez of tha system. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some of dis dependz on yo' application, though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce fo' realz. Also, you want tha array expansion ta redistribute data across tha additionizzle disks up in order ta leverage tha higher number of spindles.

edit
answered May 25 '12 at 21:23
ewwhite

@Wesley Offended by sandnigger?

Wesley

@MarkHenderson yeahhhhh I didn't feel like risking that bit of happenstance.

Not worth it.

Mark Henderson

@Wesley Wow you people do live in a state scared for your freedom

As the Daily Show put it, Australia is "casually racist"

Wesley

@MarkHenderson People get really offended here for a lot of diverse reasons, and you never know who's going to get their feelings hurt for what, so it's easier to just air on the side of caution.

Mark Henderson

Speaking of Daily Show, if you haven't heard, we're having an election here at the moment:

Falcon Momot

05:44

*err

Mark Henderson

►

(I don't expect you to have heard)

Wesley

Like, I got called out a bit for calling a certain procedure "Autistic."

"Wow, that checklist for the phone system is autistic."

Falcon Momot

@MarkHenderson lol, it's blocked in canada for copyright

Wesley

MY SON IS AUTISTIC YOU'RE NOT EVEN USING IT RIGHT THAT'S OFFENSIVE YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE

@MarkHenderson Blocked.

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot Srs? Damn

Andrew

05:45

@voretaq7 out NetApp is using NFS because "the sales team didn't communicate with the project team"

Mark Henderson

@Wesley whatwhat what?

Wesley

Cocknugget fistfelching assgoblin

Mark Henderson

Nobody geoblocks anything from the US lol

Falcon Momot

@MarkHenderson Yeah. serious failing of copyright laws - local news isn't worth that much not locally, and certainly not enough to commercialize.

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot Canadians and Americans can probably get it from comedychannel's own website

Meh

Falcon Momot

05:46

Aah, not news. kk.

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot Dunno, seems more accurate than the news we normally see

Falcon Momot

lol.

is the ABC so bad?

Andrew

@FalconMomot whose ABC? yours, ours or theirs?

Falcon Momot

isn't there still an Australian Broadcasting Corporation?

I don't think there's a canadian broadcaster "ABC"

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot Yeah there is

And our ABC is OK but nobody watches it

Falcon Momot

05:49

aah

much like the CBC here then

it's by far some of the most intelligent and balanced media we have and it gets ignored.

Journeyman Geek

@Wesley You should reply "naw, they call them non neurotypical" ;p

Falcon Momot

lol, fuck that

crazy is crazy.

Journeyman Geek

lol

I actually think autistics exist

but they're not as common as claimed

Falcon Momot

of course autism exists

Journeyman Geek

Like a certain self proclaimed security expert we know ;p

Falcon Momot

05:52

ugh, him

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot Same. Except some people (like my boss) insist that they are secretly left-wing and undermine the conservatives (of which he is one)

Journeyman Geek

he's primarily suffering from being a pain in the ass, insufferable know it all teen ;p

Falcon Momot

@JourneymanGeek I should show him my paper, and maybe the next one I'm almost ready to publish

see if he understands even what they are about

let alone why it's important to security.

or!

Mark Henderson

The fact is that having a government-owned and funded media outlet means that they're pretty much the only people who can be policially unbiased because they have nothing to gain or lose from telling it the way it is

Journeyman Geek

@FalconMomot: it might hurt his brain ;p

Mark Henderson

05:54

They are, in fact, mandated to it and have a pretty strict watchdog who reviews all their news and current affairs before they air

Falcon Momot

let's show him this... arxiv.org/pdf/1301.6356.pdf

Mark Henderson

(allegedly)

@JourneymanGeek Who? Did I miss something

Falcon Momot

@MarkHenderson The one here has certainly paid for bashing the government, but the government has been unable to abolish them or really hurt them in any way that matters.

Journeyman Geek

@MarkHenderson: mutual acquaintance of ours

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot Holy shit you understand that? You are way smart

Falcon Momot

05:55

@MarkHenderson we know a rather pathetic "security expert"

@MarkHenderson You're kidding?

Journeyman Geek

@FalconMomot: not all IT guys are math geniuses ;p

Falcon Momot

you don't need to be to understand that awful paper :P

Journeyman Geek

well the mathy bits

Falcon Momot

it's like writing a paper in biology that says "cells divide"

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot I don't even recognise half those mathematical symbols

Falcon Momot

05:56

though I guess it's cool that someone was able to actually prove this simple axiom

Andrew

is that the "entropy isn't as good as we thought" paper? Seems to relate to e.g. Diceware

Falcon Momot

@Andrew, yes.

it found its way onto the internet as a sensational "crypto is dead" paper

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot Ah, so not somebody from the site :p

Falcon Momot

and really all it's saying is that we can mathematically show ciphers are easier to crack when we have some guesses as to what the plaintext might be.

Wesley

@JourneymanGeek Autistic is the new retarded. We'll now have to call it "The A Word"

Mark Henderson

05:58

> By establishing that the expected Guesswork of a source
conditioned on the typical set is growing with a smaller exponent
than its usual uniform approximation, we have demonstrated
that appealing to the AEP for the latter is erroneous in
cryptanalysis and instead provide a correct methodology for
identifying the Guesswork growth rate.

That's not even a real sentence!

Falcon Momot

lol

and!

not even this!

Andrew

@FalconMomot so it's basically "if you know what you're looking for you'll know when you've got it wrong, faster"?

Journeyman Geek

@Wesley: funny thing is its entirely possible to break down human interaction into a series of rules.

Mark Henderson

They just made up words

Falcon Momot

they only show it's useful for bruteforce!

Wesley

05:59

@JourneymanGeek The brain is a series of tubes, all clogged with cats. And porn. And porn with cats.

A cat is one long tube, all clogged with cat food, that will spontaneously erupt onto carpeted surfaces, usually underneath heavy furniture and at 2AM when you can't hear them.

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