The Bridge

(if it's CSV, i'm honestly not sure, so...)

and the C# back end parses the column name

and calls that function on those parameters

That's terrifying, don't even suggest that

by using reverse prepared statements

9:36 PM

I don't quite know how the middleware works

which allows DBAs to change the deployed code

without changing the application binary

There's some layer between the XML screen definition and the code

just like prepared statements

just in C#

That's obviously it

@MadScientist Why would you want to prevent 1, 2, 3, banana, 5? Bananas are yummy.

and obviously those functions change the global state of the webserver

9:38 PM

@Unionhawk :thinking:

@badp stop, stop! this can only get so bad.

so that you can for example bump up the db timeout

@KazWolfe Well yeah. After that, it gets @badp.

Mad Scientist

@Yuuki Not sure, I never prevented the bananas. (I'm still amazed that my most stupid question on SO got me the most votes and a very rare gold badge)

when the database load gets high enough

that production starts going down

The DBAs can do that autonomously

9:40 PM

@badp if that happens, just DEPLOY MOAR SERVERS!

This is an improvement over storing source code in the database

in a relational approach to code versioning

wut

Lazers 2.0

0

Q: Fallout 4 power relay?

I'm playing fallout 4 on ps4 and Ive got power to everything on my power relay but it still will not allow me to complete the mission. Is there something I missed or forgot to do?

fallout-4

where you need to grant developers the rights to create a table whenever they wish to add a new file

and add a column whenever they wish to add a dependency to another file

simply specify the version of the dependency you expect

protip: don't use the @badp versioning system

9:43 PM

protip: don't let @badp within 50 miles of an IDE.

After all they keep saying that in good programming languages code is data

and if it is data

it should live with the rest of the data

You get CVEs. Lots of CVEs.

Cool Versioning Engines

I invent them

> protip: don't let @badp within 50 miles ~~of an IDE~~.

I have patents

The best patents

Terrific patents

9:44 PM

> protip: don't let @badp ~~within 50 miles of an IDE~~.

[narrator: badp doesn't have any patents]

Kevin van der Velden

@Yuuki I have attempted this several times, so far none of them led to death and/or permanent disfigurement

accurate

Using badp's code guarantees your program uses every possible CVE in 2017.

I have the top 0 patents

9:45 PM

> protip: don't ~~let~~ @badp ~~within 50 miles of an IDE~~.

Period

CVE-2017-0001 to CVE-2017-9999: Badp did it.

@badp a period is just an alternative comma

> protip: don't ~~let @badp within 50 miles of an IDE.~~

Kevin van der Velden

Hmm, I just realized something. I'm fairly sure @badp is currently within 80 kilometers of me

9:46 PM

this was a vast improvement on the previous system

> ~~protip:~~ don't ~~let @badp within 50 miles of an IDE.~~

wherein the connection within data and code was maintained in ini files

@badp Yeah, from what I heard, everything needed to be written in 8086 assembly.

@badp why not YAML files?

because it was ini files

YAML is objectively worse.

9:47 PM

which lived in a completely different unmanaged part of the filesystem

and had to be deployed manually

for security reasons

(ignoring the fact that it had to be chmod 777, owned by root:root)

Protip: do not search "zaml" on Google.

> Protip: do ~~not~~ search "zaml" on Google.

I mean, it's not as bad as some things, but don't do it at work.

Of course the path to this file was controlled centrally by performing a reverse DNS lookup of an hard coded DNS address, 1.3.3.7

which would reverse resolve as f.config.sys.webserver-2011_04_03_bak2_donotdelete--ini.local

This allowed the network admins to simply change the corporate DNS servers

to perform a partial roll back of the application

by pointing them to an older version of an ini file

9:51 PM

*cries in a corner at this setup*

of course should this file be deleted the web server will fall back to whatever is the oldest ini installed

Sometimes this would be a completely different ini file

wait, @badp, how could it roll back if it couldn't establish a DB connection to get the code?

if it has a launcher, why is the launcher's code not stored in the DB?

No this is a previous system, and again, you synergize DNS servers as your bootstrap configuration system

@KazWolfe the launcher jar can only be changed by Jeff

Only Jeff has the source code

jeff, the IT guy?

or jeff the UX designer?

and only Jeff knows the password to the safe where the source code is printed in enigma encoding

Code modifications to the launcher involve retyping the encrypted base 64 into a physical enigma typewriter

9:55 PM

Who would flag such lovely ASCII art?

@badp dcode.fr/enigma-machine-cipher

I wish I saw the flag

but I was too slow

That's a common problem for turtles

The only reasonable course of action is to ban @Unionhawk

@Wipqozn *sending PM to Shog regarding performance*

9:56 PM

Once edited

The source code must be retyped with the next enigma machine setting

and all other copies must be destroyed

Also Trump withdrew from the TPP, which might be good. I remember hearing a lot of negative shit about that. Wouldn't it let foreign companies sue nations, and make copyright rules even worse?

@Wipqozn tbf copyright is already really really bad in the US.

Naturally the launcher must be launched

@KazWolfe Yes, but I think TPP was going to make it equally bad literally everywhere else if TPP was part of it.

That said I don't know too much about the TPP. Although I know reddit hated it before Trump withdrew from it.

In order to achieve this a remote code execution plugin in the Windows XP NTP stack is used

9:57 PM

@Ash @MBraedley "If Andrew Shaw totally whiffs on a wide open empty net attempt and then recovers and puts it in, would that be a Shaw shank redemption?"

@Wipqozn And now reddit loves it, of course.

@badp STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE STOP! I'm having "Database via Excel" flashbacks...

@Sterno So are you buying RE7 tomorrow?

@Wipqozn It wouldn't change copyright rules in the US, it would just ship shitty US copyright rules overseas.

@Wipqozn No

BECAUSE I ALREADY BOUGHT IT TODAY

@Yuuki Yes

9:58 PM

@KazWolfe how do you think authentication is performed

@Sterno PC?

LOLOLOL GOOD ONE STERNO

3

@Wipqozn Of course

@badp /me *has another mental breakdown*

@Sterno I see I see. Well I plan to buy it eventually, which I'm sure will turn into a lot sooner than planned since I hate money.

Memor-X

@KazWolfe Jeff is the guy with the nukes

MBraedley

9:59 PM

@Yuuki I believe it would

Let it be known that I have personally written my own Excel formula for secret storage

@Wipqozn Money is the root of evil. Therefore the only thing you can morally do with it is spend it as soon as possible

I didn't realize Russia had more nukes than the USA

so that people could log into the spreadsheet

@Sterno but that just spreads the money around. It would make more sense to burn it.

10:00 PM

and achieve access to the VeryHidden sheets with data

Highly sophisticated securirty

@badp if you say VBA with ActiveX, I swear to god...

I was 14

> Spicer has been waging a quiet, one-sided Twitter with [Dippin' Dots]. It started in 2010

and I didn't have VS6 on the same machine as the spreadsheets

I mean, I agree that Dippin' Dots aren't the ice cream of the future.

10:01 PM

@Yuuki they're also way overpriced and taste pretty meh.

I hope someone makes a chart of reputable charts so I know how reputable this chart is

@Wipqozn Buying games you'll never play is ALMOST as good as burning it

Like, say, Bad Rats 2 for every Bridge member

@Sterno That's true

@Sterno You didn't even do that though, you coward.

@Wipqozn but will a chart of reputable charts include itself?

10:02 PM

I was the only one to do that! and only for you.

@Wipqozn Due to laziness, not cowardice

Now onto logging. Since we were already paying for an internet porn filter,

@Sterno That's fair

He has also referred to Daft Punk as "Daft Funk".

some lines of the ini files specified the fqdn of the porn service they'd GET their error logs onto

10:04 PM

@Wipqozn I'm surprised that The Wall Street Journal isn't farther to the right, and that NBC isn't farther to the left

Now you just made me remember how much I hate the "Get Lucky" song

@badp you know what's really sad? this sounds like it could be some giant enterprise software, like for real.

Daft Punk - Get Lucky (Official Audio) ft. Pharrell Williams, Nile Rodgers

►

Like the legend of the phoenix
All ends with beginnings
What keeps the planet spinning (uh)
The force of love beginning

cc @Sterno

Man what a terrible song

That song is so awful, made worse by the fact that it's insanely popular

I've never even heard of it before

10:06 PM

Really, some stuff in the WSJ reads like it's written directly by Rupert Murdoch

@Sterno People have the worst taste in everything

Would seriously rather listen to Friday

@KazWolfe since the porn service in use was actually different between each machine this conveniently solved the perennial question of what should the naming scheme for physical nodes

I GET IT ALREADY, YOU'RE UP ALL NIGHT TO GET LUCKY

@Sterno such a great song

10:07 PM

@Sterno $50 says they don't.

Trump has great cyber, just terrific cyber. He has the best cyber. It's so good that he's preparing to roll back funding for advanced scientific computing research to 2008 levels.

this lead to somewhat questionable discussion about logging into youporn to deploy the ini payload

@GodEmperorDune That's an alternative fact

@badp wait, you're not naming machines based on what Ethernet jack they're plugged into? For shame.

@Yuuki wat

10:08 PM

which effectively banished sysadmins from the 8th floor to Below 1st

a quality of life improvement since they were now that much closer to the building exit

> The Corporation for Public Broadcasting would be privatized, while the National Endowment for the Arts and National Endowment for the Humanities would be eliminated entirely.

@GodEmperorDune Oh and nuclear physics research.

the wait times to reach proper coffee were cut by as much as 45 seconds

it adds up.

very quickly.

@GodEmperorDune Well, I guess that's one way to be right about fake news. Turn the one news source under your control into fake news.

Like the Postal Service all over again.

unfortunately so did the time savings.

the whole department productivity increased to the point where they accidentally replaced themselves with a very short bash line

10:10 PM

> At the Department of Justice, the blueprint calls for eliminating the Office of Community Oriented Policing Services, Violence Against Women Grants and the Legal Services Corporation and for reducing funding for its Civil Rights and its Environment and Natural Resources divisions.

actually, @badp, question. I'm assuming you had something to auto-generate the ini files?

sad but unfortunately not unexpected

That was written in LISP, correct?

@KazWolfe obviously not.

This was to be edited by hand by policy

the method used to have radio stations in fallout 4 play in realtime while not listening to them is astonishingly c… https://twitter.com/i/web/status/823470212402085888

Tweeted by paperghost on January 23, 2017 at 9:59 AM

10:10 PM

in order to ensure that the text editor would not do funny things like macros

the mandated text editor was edit.com

why not use a LISP generator with everything hardcoded? Then, just edit the LISP source code?

and at any rate this bash oneliner is how we are stuck today with this architecture

@Frank pls to help

it's just a simple bash change.

you can do it in thirty seconds.

SaintWacko

@TimStone I really want to see the bug report that spawned this

@TimStone It's like how trains in New Vegas were a guy with a train hat running really fast.

@TimStone a... cat?

why a cat?

10:14 PM

So radio is actually a series of invisible cats behind you.

3

#AlternativeFacts

@KazWolfe because puppers were unavailable

@GodEmperorDune What's a pupper?

@KazWolfe a small doggo

Slang for puppy/dog

@GodEmperorDune What's a doggo?

10:15 PM

@KazWolfe big pupper

@GodEmperorDune QUADS!

relevant:

There was a secret URL in WebEx that allowed any website to run arbitrary code. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ https://bugs.chromium.org/p/project-zero/issues/detail?id=1096

Tweeted by taviso on January 23, 2017 at 9:23 PM

My insistence on always downloading the temporary application because using the extension turned out to be the Very Right choice

Is there an exploit in that WebEx URL that lets it run WebEx properly and maintain a connection?

Because I would love that exploit.

@badp Eh?

10:28 PM

btw @KazWolfe

bugs.chromium.org/p/project-zero/issues/detail?id=1096

Memor-X

@Yuuki "Overall, the blueprint being used by Trump’s team would reduce federal spending by $10.5 trillion over 10 years." funny how first day in office he started tearing up Obama's stuff and he assume he'll be in office for all 3 terms so that no one else can do the exact same

Uh... Presidents can only be in office for two terms.

Exceptions allowed for people who become president via succession.

@MadMAxJr Or declaring a state of war/emergency/other exception.

it's okay, Trump has a wife and many "adult children"

@MadMAxJr And even then, only if they aren't completing more than two years of the previous president's term.

10:30 PM

@Frank so at the end of the term, trump is gonna declare war to keep himself in power?

@KazWolfe Would it honestly surprise you if he did?

@KazWolfe I'm pretty sure the President can't unilaterally declare war

Q: Valid?? Orc's and Elves java game on PC?

@Frank Nope.

@murgatroid99 Unless trump "fixes" that.

Lazers 2.0

-1

I played Orc's and Elves 7 Years ago and upon coming across it recently really want to play it again. I want to know if there's any way to play it on Pc (Win 7 , 64 bit) or mobile sony xperia Y5 (not mine) . I've tried downloading jar files on the xperia but i am unsure how to run them and or if ...

mobile

@KazWolfe He can't really fix it on his own.

10:31 PM

@KazWolfe He can't unilaterally legislate either

I mean, unless he manages to convince the military back him over the Constitution.

We do still have those checks and balances in the federal government

meh. it's gonna be hell.

@murgatroid99 The power of those checks and balances depend on how much of the military is loyal to the Constitution vs. how much is loyal to Trump. It's very, very, very not likely (to the point where I'd say it's impossible) and at that point, he wouldn't need unilateral legislation to give himself unlimited terms.

@Yuuki Yeah, a military coup isn't really the kind of thing I expect any time soon

10:34 PM

But again, not likely so it's the least worrying thing to panic about.

@Frank i don't know where being in a war allows you to suspend elections

@GodEmperorDune Something about transitioning power while attempting to prosecute a war, etc., etc.

Not sure if it applies to the US or not.

@Frank That's often named as a reason to re-elect a President to a second term, but I don't remember if that's a thing to allow a third term.

> Section 1. No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once. But this article shall not apply to any person holding the office of President when this article was proposed by the Congress, and shall not prevent any person who may be holding the office of President, or acting as President, during the term within which this article becomes operative…

nope

So some signs point to the first new Star Wars trailer reveal during the Super Bowl.

10:46 PM

Are we going to get another 1984?

because a propaganda ad on the same lines might be a kinda cool event during the otherwise boring Superb Owl.

> These football teams should be really excited to play at the Lady Gaga concert.
> Lady Gaga must be pretty excited to perform at the Star Wars trailer premiere.

I demand a Last Jedi song in the form of The Last Unicorn.

@MadMAxJr disney is not stackexchange

Yeah I have one less beer to drink. Boo

I don't care enough to get my $1.60 back though

Q: Did more people use the DC Metro transit system on the day of Trump's inauguration than on the day of Obama's second inauguration (in 2013)?

Abusing data to fit your point:

49

On 21 Jan 2017, White House press secretary Sean Spicer said in a press briefing: We know that 420,000 people used the D.C. Metro public transit yesterday, which actually compares to 317,000 that used it for President Obama's last inaugural. Source: "Sean Spicer held a press conference. He...

united-states donald-trump barack-obama

#AlternateFacts

10:55 PM

To be fair, there were also plenty of protests at that time, with people actually blocking the metro platform, checkpoints into it, and several roads both nearby and in unrelated areas. — Matt Brennan 6 hours ago

Alternate facts are like those alt-history books and games we all love!

@GodEmperorDune While believable, that doesn't change the facts of the subway ridership numbers

So Trump's poor inauguration attendance was the protestors' fault, who prevented hundreds of thousands of riders from getting on the metro

@murgatroid99 i could see blocked entrances contributing to a slight downturn, but not a 50% drop

@GodEmperorDune To be fair, there were also plenty of people during the 2009 inauguration with people actually taking up space in the cars.

@GodEmperorDune I meant that those things plausibly contributed to the difference. I don't think they completely explain it

10:58 PM

Or whatever you call individual metro/lightrail whatevers.