Do you live together or apart? Are you both in the USA now or somewhere else? What does "if I do something it's ok like Red Dawn" mean? Why would she apologize if you went with her to run errands? How often does this happen? What have you tried in the moment besides making her laugh? What did she say when you called this behavior abuse? Have you tried discussing this when you're both calm and, if so, how did that go and if not, why not? — Kat 1 min ago

Was this a sudden change or has it come on very gradually? Have there been any major changes right before this started? (other job, living arrangements, falling out with someone else, ...?) — AsheraH 2 mins ago

Could you add backup to your claims, by giving examples of how it solved the issue in similar or relatable cases ? — Arthur Hv 41 secs ago

Related: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/25577/… and interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/6449/… (from a different point of view) — CaldeiraG 22 secs ago

Hi FoxDen! What do you think a 'handled' situation looks like? This is a site about Interpersonal Skills: behaviors people use to interact well with others. Since no-one here can control others, we can only help you with your behaviors. How have you tried to interact with your friend so far, and what outcome did that lead to that wasn't as expected? What options have you perhaps considered but discarded? If you could include that, we would get a clearer idea of the problem with your behavior you're facing, and answers can avoid suggesting approached that you've already unsuccesfully tried. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago

You can't act on your friend's feelings but you can probably tell him when his behavior is problematic. If that is your point, could you give examples of what he does or say and put you or your girlfriend uncomfortable ? — Arthur Hv 55 secs ago

This sounds like a "what should I do" question, which is out of scope here. Some more appropriate questions relative to this situation might be "how do I discuss this with my friend" or "how do I support my girlfriend when my best friend has a crush on her". The question of "how do I handle this" may be an intrapersonal skill if you are talking about what you do with your feelings. — baldPrussian 2 mins ago

Hi Ruperto! For this site to be a good subjective site, we're aiming for answers written with experience or research at their core. So we've made some citation expectations, and we ask answers to either explain a.) The outcome of when this advice was used by you or someone else, or b.) some research/theory that staves the assumption that this is an effective way to get these relatives to take things seriously. Could you edit and add that? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago

Hi josephine! For this site to be a good subjective site, we're aiming for answers written with experience or research at their core. So we've made some citation expectations, and we ask answers to either explain a.) The outcome of when this advice was used by you or someone else, or b.) some research/theory that staves the assumption that this is an effective way to handle this angry girlfriend. Could you edit and add that? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 2 mins ago

And maybe the real question here is a bit lost between the vagueries of 'best method to handle', but if you want to work with her on being less angry, and have a conversation about her behavior, that's a different question we'd need to know different details for, like what you've considered/tried and how that didn't work, and those priorities I mentioned earlier. Would you be willing to set ultimatums and stick to them? Would you consider breaking up and letting her know you think about doing so? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 42 secs ago

Hi theneverendingsearch! It might also be a good idea to include a list of what you want to consider as a way to handle her and what not, prioritize your wishes for the outcome if you'd like. At this moment, it seems you have 1 way to handle her while angry. If you're looking for another way, could you let us know a bit more about what else you've tried to calm her down when she's in those moods, and her reactions to it? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 2 mins ago