The Sphinx's Lair

o i k o s

not to call anybody an oik

oi

hi Mith

4:11 PM

@Brandon_J you mean, "oi"

oi

**CMC:**

Knockout
Exist
Frigid comment
Young Adult
Before XP

(Intended for @Avi but open to anyone)

ko be br ya ??

mm-hmm..

@Brandon_J \o

i know what it's supposed to be but not sure of the interpretation for the last one

4:15 PM

\o/

windows NT, it seems

yep

covers Kobe and bigrams

Bro taken by tragedy (4, 6)

or mishap as anagram indicator, whatever

no bueno

Idea: a bigram tree: clue a word using bigrams (What I did for Kobe) and then clue those clues with a bigram. I.e. "it" is clued by "scary clown", which is clued by

clues that fit sc, ar, yc, lo, and wn.

@Mithical gotta ask, did you draw the profile pic?

hi mith!

4:22 PM

(Can't find it via reverse image search, nor can I guess its significance like I can with @OmegaKrypton)

No, it's generated from an avatar generator that uses original drawings by Em C. (one of the moderators on Interpersonal Skills). I don't draw, my creative talents are limited to shaping words

Neat-o.

@Mithical Shaping words, aka "sarcasm"

TBH my sarcasm skills can be pretty on-point, especially when I'm tired.

@North fair enough

4:24 PM

Mith has a special skill of being able to be sarcastic over chat

If I was more tired, I could take all of you down at once with sarcasm.

Which is actually pretty difficult

Sounds like a highly unique skill.

(kinda lame, I know, but I'm fairly alert)

@Brandon_J You know how hard it is to sound sarcastic but have people know you're sarcastic over chat?

DANG IT

yeah, OK, it's hard

2 mins ago, by Brandon_J

Sounds like a highly unique skill.

Q: Cover 63 squares of a chess board

4:27 PM

It's not difficult to be sarcastic over chat... it's just transferring tonal nuance through a medium of communication that does not support nuance, over a cultural barrier that you're not always even aware of, and having the other person understand.

4

Sphinx

6

Can you find 3 similar geometrical figures (common shape but can be different sizes) A, B and C with the following property: If you remove any square from a 8x8 chess board, then the remaining area can be exactly covered with A, B and C. How do A, B and C look like?

@Mithical I accept my defeat

with the recognition that I will counter-sarcasm until completely anhilated.

At least North's here to back me up, with his great sarcasm skills.

Right

Trees are experts at communication. Sometimes they even fall over.

That +6 question

is actually sooooo clever

4:31 PM

@Mithical I tend to trip over my on words

like, it's easy to solve, but you gotta make an intuitive leap of faith for a second

then it all makes sense

I heard dogs are terrible communicators though

All they do is bark at each other

ha ha

That was so funny and original that I fell out of my chair laughing. After several minutes of hysterical ecstasy (tears streaming down my face), my lungs began getting sore with the intense work of laughing so hard. Out-of-breath and a little embarrassed, I managed to rise to my feet, still chuckling periodically over the next half-hour in sheer amusement stemming from this most humorous joke.

agh, overdone.

...yeah that was hilarious.

4:37 PM

almost as hilarious as your sarcasm.

Sarcasm? What a concept.

@Mithical I think that was more effective than that entire spewl

...that was the point. ;)

yea

@Mithical Sarcasm? Who?

@North we need you as the moderator

4:39 PM

@Brandon_J Very funny

A straight up textual deadpan is your most effective weapon. Use it wisely, my child.

Pan

no for real - we can't keep score ourselves, due to the sarcastic nature of our duel.

Okay

you can though. I think it's currently 1-0 in Mith's favor

4:40 PM

@Brandon_J Little did you know, I'm a pro-tem moderator of Sarcasm SE

Damn it now I need to actually photoshop stuff to add that to my profile

@North Sorry. He's been dead for several thousand years, unfortunately.

What an expert in Greek Mythology

@Mithical I thought you were talking about Peter Pan

@Brandon_J Obviously you're simply biding your time. It's, uh... inevitable... that you'll take the lead... at some point...

almost as inevitable as you not using "..." in your sentences.

4:42 PM

oof

I'm not even sure if that was a burn

tragic

If Brandon burns me you'll notice. Since you haven't noticed, there is only one logical conclusion.

@Brandon_J logical contradiction

Claim: It is inevitable that Mithical will not use "..." in their sentences

It certainly would be hard to notice Mith getting burned. It's not like all the other burns obscure the view of the flames.

Evidence: Mithical used "..." in the sentence preceding said claim

@Avi shh, we're having a sarcasm battle

@North is supposed to be keeping score

4:45 PM

And Brandon is totally winning

Conclusion: Even nitroglycerin wouldn't explode from that weak burn

And Mithical's comments are totally original and non-repetitious.

@Mithical I can feel half-hearted sarcasm from this one

@Brandon_J Equally as so.

except for "totally", that kind of kills it for me

(...I think I'll get off my phone and grab my computer, which has been sitting unused for a few hours. It's probably warmer than Brandon's burns, though.)

As the #1 expert on sarcasm I clearly know when to use certain words

4:47 PM

[time-out] are we doing pure sarcasm, or just plain burns?

I ask because Mith has been doing neither.

[both, it's more fun]

@Avi Having watched Monty Python, I'm an expert in British humor

No you're not.

OK (switches to burn mode) (turns burn mode on high) (realizes that won't be needed)

@Mithical did...did...did you miss the sarcasm?

hol' up

Did... did... you miss the reference?

4:50 PM

@Brandon_J im busy

throws Monty Python references at @North

Yes. Three commonly used words are rarely enough to form a reference

and the holy hand grenade of Antioch!

Obviously you are a true expert.

avi can be my proxy

4:51 PM

@Brandon_J Yes they are.

for now

bc im actyally busy

alright guys

hit me with your tree puns

I guess we gotta take a timeout while Avi tallies the score

currently it's like 1-0

in favor of Mithical

Mith's score will take a long time to add up, I'm sure

4:52 PM

wow, Brandon and Mith are being really hilarious today. Dunno if I can take any more of it without dying of laughter.

@Mithical no satisfactory sarcasm since

... and that's one for Gareth

Hmm. I guess I better step things up, then. This is the most important thing I have to do all night.

not sure if serious

Good thing you respond so quickly @Mithical

If I wanted burns I'd just turn on the stove, since y'all seem incapable of delivering

4:54 PM

I know. It's my not numb fingers.

@Avi yeah I'm not Amazon, sorry

ok i got rekt

2-0

@Brandon_J better catch up

When you blame your fingers for the lack of a sense of humor, you know you're destined for Hollywood.

t o o l o n g

*deep bow* Thank you, thank you.

oo long tea

oh, that could be a riddle

4:56 PM

Your sense of humor rivals Gareth's vocabulary, Brandon.

In that it is incomprehensible to anyone else.

that would be a compliment

I took it as an insult to me.

except....... given the evidence so far

@Mithical I was gonna say useless

(presumably in response to my earlier comment)

4:57 PM

they seem massively incongruous

Gah, I'm being teamed up on

Good thing they aren't afraid of me.

Oh, no, I'm proper terrified.

pats brandon on head

3:0

i'll give you a 3:1 for pity's sake

@Avi when you put the time, use both zeros

Go on, Brandon, it'd be a shame for you to get shut out.

4:58 PM

score: 3:0.000000001

pity vanished

It would be a shame for you to be shut out of the burn ward - unfortunately, your insurance policy only covers 15 visits

Shame.

score: 3:0.000000002

gonna have to keep this in fractional percents of a burn

It's just as well we have Avi here to tell us how everyone is doing.

It's for Brandon's benefit

5:00 PM

Indispensable.

score: 4:0.000000002:2

Brandon's doing well today.

Mithical:Brandon_J:Gareth

@Mithical abusing poor people for points is unethical!

score: 5:0.000000002:2

but effective

@Avi People who can't spell don't care about ethics

give him a break

remind me of typos; I forgot (serious)

5:02 PM

(their username)

ah

Yeah, my username was definitely a typo.

Sure. Of course.

score: 7:-1:2

I'm not biased I swear

Ouch, the negatives? That's got to burn almost as much as Brandon's jokes.

okay that doesn't count as sarcasm, but sick burn

5:04 PM

It's hard to be positive when listening to Mith's humor.

score: 7:1:2

finally

It's okay, I'm just balancing you out.

As in... out of the game.

...

bold of you to assume I haven't already fallen over

(wait, burned the wrong person)

!

5:05 PM

jk, jk, just want to make sure Mith feels good for a little bit

Brandon: uses flamethrower Everyone: unharmed The ground: ahhhhh

@Brandon_J It's okay, at least you hit something! It's a start.

score: 8:1:2

@Mith aw, you're the sweetest.

score: 8:2:2

5:07 PM

Thanks, it was the burns you gave me earlier.

oof

just understood that one - score: 9:2:2

the dripping sarcasm

the turnaround

the execution

@Brandon_J are you all right pat

I think leaking is the better word

keep complimenting them, Avi. It makes it obvious that you aren't biased

It was executed almost as well as Gareth. Er, I mean, his burns. Yeah.

score: 8:2:2

5:09 PM

@Brandon_J The pronoun is "them" I believe

@Mithical Er. Uhm. -1

Aha, a point removed. That's totally fair.

@North ugh second time I made that mistake

@Brandon_J It's okay, they're the worst burns you've given me so far.

Ooof

That's

Yikes

5:10 PM

outclassed

And actually, I'm not all right. I paid good money for this burn protection cream, and it's non-refundable

You should've left it.

@Brandon_J I don't think it's working

@Brandon_J I'm afraid you were scammed, my friend.

@Mithical I dunno, haven't had a chance to test it yet

5:12 PM

I see. That explains the burn marks- - you weren't using it.

Meanwhile, in Puzzled Puzzlers, episode 2: Brandon_J has yet to notice his incineration...

those aren't burn marks, those are rust stains. Your old jokes have been rubbing off on me

Ironic.

that's just a pun x.x

I think it's time to call this over. Brandon has clearly won.

5:13 PM

But it's the pinnacle of their humor

score: 10:2:2

give them a point

No, keep yours. It's the last one you've got.

score: 9:2:2

failure to count: 2 != 1

@Avi Hmm? Wrong kind of point.

5:14 PM

OUCH

you count better than we can count on Mith's jokes to be funny, Avi

score: 11:2:2

@Brandon_J most sarcasm is short and sweet

@Avi I learn from the best

So... like me, then. Brandon's just short.

score: 12:3:2

when it starts looking like a snake that's when you've stretched it out too much

5:15 PM

I am short - even shorter than the life of your lead

I use graphite.

Which is mixed with clay

oof

it's not entirely graphite

score: 13:3:2

5:16 PM

that's a misconception

lead is toxic

not that you would understand

@Avi so is your scorekeeping

Lead's too thick and hard to get through to. Like your puns.

score: 13:4:2

@Brandon_J Yeah, I heard you were the foremost expert on misconceptions. (:

5:17 PM

i think it's pretty clear

it's time to reach a treety

That's what everyone thinks.

The story of @Brandon_J's unfortunate treemise

Okay, we're being a little hard on Brandon now.

It's time to go harder.

[acknowledgement] I am badly burned, but still alive

@Mithical nothing can be harder than understanding your jokes

score: 13:5:2

even if it's not true

5:19 PM

If that's the hardest thing you've done, I fear for your academic future.

lol it would be hard if it has to be true. Mithical seems like a really nice person

(no sarcasm intended)

Sure, I'm nice...

score: 14:5:2

You are nice. Your jokes, though...

not sure if blatant lying is allowed

perhaps being good with words makes you a flamethrower

5:20 PM

Avi award a point, that was an awesome comeback

naturally

score: 13:7:2

one moment

Avi's scorekeeping is being very reliable.

I have to get behind that burn

Mith needs some help with their score

My archaic writing style keeps tripping me up. Perhaps Mith's over-used jokes have been putting me in mind of the olden days.

Word.

5:23 PM

PowerPoint

No, you don't have any.

As in, Mith's jokes are as smooth as PowerPoint transitions

hmmm

no

your jokes are falling in quality recently

perhaps you should go back to the forest and fetch some firewood

We should change Mithical's name to Niagara

why

5:25 PM

because Niagara falls

[actually have to leave now]

score: 15:8:2 final, I believe

@Mithical see you around; I concede defeat.

@Brandon_J don't worry you did fine lol

Ironically, the more you burned me, the more I warmed up

;)

24 mins ago, by Avi

score: 7:-1:2

a decent attempt at a comeback

5:28 PM

for sure

I'm not even sure what the -1 score was for lol

@Avi People who can't spell don't care about ethics

^ that line was bad, because they did intentionally use "Mith" as the start of their name

which has been discussed in chat a few times

I know

^ and so does everybody else, so it doesn't serve as great burn fodder

but their jokes were also good, and I was (attempting to) insult those

5:31 PM

right; didn't work :(

@Brandon_J This was good though

what was good?

the line that links to

"This" is a tad unspecific

if you click on the arrow that looks like this: ↰ from that message

it goes back to the replied message

@Avi oh. Usually it just goes back to my last message

Ah, yes, my two-pointer

anybody up for another round?

now that Mith has warmed me up

hi, Jafe

5:44 PM

@Brandon_J Light a fire for someone and you've warmed them for the rest of the day. Light them on fire and you've warmed them for the rest of their life.

4