Hi all - I completely understand the rationale for deletion of my previous post. I don't blame you in fact. Please advise how to fit the spirit of my post into the CoC/topic rules - I think the intent is clear, relevant, and specific, but am happy to edit in hopes to receive thoughtful answers
@bruglesco A bunch of the regulars are Europeans, so it tends to be quieter during the night on this side of the world. Not everyone is up at 4:15AM like I am.
@goofology so to be clear, the situation you're describing is where someone has asked you to call them X and you don't want to call them X? I'm not sure what you're expecting here. For us to come up with justifications not calling them X for you? To help you think about things differently? Both of these are explicitly not what we do.
I meant I have primarily seen that posts on SE are in favor or refusing to use preferred pronouns, for various reasons. thought an opposing viewpoint was approrpiate
if there are SE-hosted posts about how ridiculous it is to refuse to use a person's desired pronouns, I'd appreciate some links. I've only seen comments.
It was my last effort after meta post got deleted :/
I think the primary issue here is that you're trying to ask a question to express a "viewpoint" and make an argument. That's really not what any question on any site except meta is for.
There doesn't need to be a post for every side of a debate. It's really okay. Most of this discussion is happening - or at least was happening, and should still be happening - in private, so most users are not going to see the majority of things.
I think labeling it "anit" or "pro" pronoun is misleading. Every post I've read has talked about the merits and drawbacks of how SE mods may enforce rules around pronouns. And all to different degrees. Again, if you want to talk about how you believe rules should be enforced, that's a meta conversation. If you want to express your opinions on pronouns in general, well...I guess if you can find a chat where someone wants to have that convo with you, you could.
I think right now is not the best time to bring it up because people are still thinking and processing all of this, and to be blunt, the last thing we want is someone else jumping in and starting the discussion afresh.
for what it's worth, I can't imagine a more relevant and topical Interpersonal Skills post (don't be a jerk) than this. I'm excited I've found this forum though, because I do have a passive aggressive boss I could use some advice regarding.
@goofology I'm sorry if I've offended you. I assure you I have nothing against you here. This is just a sore subject and I may be a little worn thin from it atm.
I mean, that can wait for a post.. but I suppose briefly to change the subject- I was previously a 10-year employee well regarded/highly respected by all my peers in the IT field and otherwise, C-levels, etc.
I left for 2.5 years for unrelated personal issues and have recently been re-hired after some of the older employees spoke highly of me to the now new executives. my original direct boss warned me about the new manager who is a bit full of himself (he shouldn't be) and how he has a penchant for treating subordinates like children/lesser than him when it suits his fancy.
I should've listened, but I'm the type who has to learn things for myself. the interview (with the new manager) went well, no obvious red flags, and the offer was too good to turn down, but now I'm starting to see the problems
it seems new manager (not IT field) has the typical IT-person stereotype in his head
do what I say when I say it, don't ask questions, hold my hand since I'm computer illiterate because that's what I pay you for, etc
It's clear to him that I am a valuable and well respected resource, but he's not willing to admit it, except in jokes or jabs
He lovingly refers to the laptop I almost religiously bring with me to meetings (to get things done) as "Giselle" - as if I named it that and it's my pet/I have some loving relationship with it
it's big fun to him and he likes to do it in public
I'm very sarcastic and can hang with the best of them when exchanging true sarcasm, but when it's insult veiled as sarcasm, I can't come up with witty responses
can I post a text I composed to let my frustration out (but didn't send)?
@scohe001 - thanks very much, and I understand. small tip if you're willing - ending/interspersing messages with ... is almost universally perceived as disrespectful.
ok. I've read a few things that suggest just ignoring it or staying above the fray, which is easy to do, but doesn't accomplish anything productive, and I'm not sure I'm willing to stick it out long enough for him to finally come around, thought I love every other part of the job
thanks for suggestion. Thought @ElizaB was looking to share suggestions here
@Ælis I would have to lookup introversion and social awkwardness, but this comic seems relatable to me too, and the comic post you shared reminded me of this and I'd go ahead and share it disregarding the possibility that I had shared it already.
@ankii I believe I find it in the list of the most upvoted question/answer of all time. You might find something if you are digging through there: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions?tab=Votes Also, I believe the question was related to autism, but not sure I remember that correctly
The friend who is planning this trip wants to exclude another friend, who will likely ask me sometime during the trip what I'm up to. The planner reiterate to me to not tell him (this same scenario happened in the past and I openly said what I was doing at the time which upset the invited friend)...
Having been here before myself, I think you need to realize what this means for your relationship. You don't feel able to relax and have you-time with her around. This is probably because you place a set of responsibilities on yourself when you spend time with her, but also want to be able to she...
@JAD True that! But I already have another answer that I want to bounty (I wanted to wait until I actualy tested the propose solution but, I'm really not sure I will do that anytime soon...)
Having a meaningfull conversation with a homeless person
conversation, politness, autism-spectrum (is this one really relevant?)
Everyday, when I go to work, I pass by a homeless person. At first, I just waved hello to them, but now I shake hand with them and, when doing that, they will start...
Ah, right when I was wondering what this dog was up to! You are pretty slow today @Sandman!
I'm currently writing an article for work. It's usually not much of a problem but today I writed 3 lines in 45 minutes. Let's just say that I had more productive days >< I guess Saucelabs isn't inspiring me much after all...
I think the worst part is that regardless of whether it's F or C, we still call them "degrees." Like if they had different unit names, this would all be fine :(
> Interviewer: What drives you? Candidate: The bus mostly. Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? Candidate: Missing the bus!
Friend A did not get invited in the first place, as Friend B is organizing the trip. That’s a good point, I might do that. There is someone else in the trip group that Friend B has been playing tennis with more, so there is a decent chance he will have to say he’s out of town too. I doubt he would have any issue saying it himself, but Friend B might try to pry deeper upon finding that we’re both unavailable because we’re both out of town. We could make sure that what we say is plausible and different, but I’m averse to that sort of thing which is why I’ve posted here. — Austin Conlon3 mins ago
Thanks for the links :) And I think I remember another one posted by one of our TAS regular (dhein maybe?) about debating and playing devil advocate too
I have another year before I can get a new work laptop.. I don't know what I was thinking, choosing macbook over thinkpad. definitely will be switching it out
Having a meaningfull conversation with a homeless person
conversation, politness, autism-spectrum (is this one really relevant?)
Everyday, when I go to work, I pass by a homeless person. At first, I just waved hello to them, but now I shake hand with them and, when doing that, they will start...
