The Awkward Silence

3:24 AM

0

Q: How to Deal With Asking Out A Friend's Sister

I've been friends with the oldest brother, Gary, since middle school. His younger brother Billy also integrated into our group of friends around high school and Billy, Gary, and I frequently played video games together online during this time. Near the later half of High School, Jennifer, the mid...

Tinkeringbell

6:30 AM

@ElizB (and @avazula and @Ash) Thanks!

avazula

@EmC :) if you ask me, as a French I'd say the Orsay museum is more interesting but it all depends on which painting styles you like. But actually I wasn't at the Louvre museum but in the café Louvre in Praha :) I couldnt see any likelihood despite the name, though.

Magisch

morning

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A J

afternoon!

JAD

@Magisch ola

A J

6:47 AM

@JAD I prefer Uber. :P

JAD

7:08 AM

?

A J

7:24 AM

@JAD Ola and Uber are cab-service providers.

Journeyman Geek

Grab?

A J

@JourneymanGeek yeah like that.

Journeyman Geek

;)

Magisch

grab-a-cab

Journeyman Geek

@Magisch basically they absorbed uber's operations here

and uber was large enough they have a monopoly on the "private hire car by app" market

Termatinator

8:13 AM

Hey guys, I got a question, if you don't mind. Though I do believe it is in violation of the stackexchange question (a "how do I"), so that's why I'll try here in the chat

a long time ago I asked a question about love here on the site, I'm now very good friends with her. I do feel that this a good thing as she now knows she can trust me

We now speak semi-regularly and are very honest to each other.

Now I got an idea to sort of announce that I love someone on facebook to try to get her to ask about it, wich would make it easier for me to confess my love to her.

should I continue with this idea? P.S. I'm on college at the moment, so I can't respond that quick (and I made these in word first, before I sent it here)

Dukeling

8:50 AM

@Termatinator Maybe just start by asking her on a date (explicitly, as in "would you like to go on a date with me"). Confessing your love is much more likely to go wrong if she doesn't feel the same. Asking her on a date leaves how strong your feelings are for her unclear, but does make it clear that you think of her in that way.

Termatinator

@Dukeling she is an introvert, like me. This means that she wouldn’t like to go out, we’d rather stay at each other’s houses. We also both have PDDNOS, a form of autism

Journeyman Geek

doing it "publically" on the internet sounds like something that would horrify someone who is an introvert IME

Dukeling

@Termatinator You can have a date at one of your houses too, although I'm not sure how appropriate that would be for a "first date".
Either way, I'd suggest trying to ease into it a bit more, and keep it private.

Termatinator

@JourneymanGeek I wouldn't say that I love her in public, just that I love someone

Journeyman Geek

ehh still feels like being a little too clever. Sometimes simple is best.

Termatinator

9:00 AM

Do you have tips to make it easier to say then?

Dukeling

You can be an introvert with ASD and still like to go out for a date sometimes - I'd be cautious about concluding that she wouldn't want to, unless she explicitly said that. Hanging out with a friend is different from going on a date. But it might be a fair point to not use the approach I suggested then.

Termatinator

@Dukeling I don't know, I live in the netherlands and dates usually mean something serious here

Journeyman Geek

@Termatinator well personally I just... have gone for it

Dukeling

Telling her you have romantic feelings for her is probably better than telling her you love her, if you'd want to remain friends if she doesn't feel the same, or even if you're just willing to give her some time to warm up to the idea of getting romantically involved with you (IMO).

Termatinator

9:21 AM

one thing I might add is that I slept at her home a few days ago, in her room (but in different beds

A J

@JourneymanGeek fun fact: I worked on a similar project for an Australian company.

Magisch

10:51 AM

@Tinkeringbell At least 50.000 calories on that table

:p

Tinkeringbell

11:04 AM

@Magisch Probably more :)

A J

@Magisch I think you forgot to add one more zero there. :P

ChrisW

11:21 AM

To a moderator -- re. this deleted comment which was posted by the OP: if it was the OP themselves who deleted it, then fine; but if it was you perhaps you shouldn't have... because it replied to this undeleted comment and added information.

Tinkeringbell

@ChrisW that was self-deleted, so I can't undelete it either :/

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to tell a friend, that he became an insufferable bigwig

I(m/21) had a friend(m/18), a very good one. I drove to him after work nearly every day and we saw us every weekend. But suddenly, he began to meet other dudes from his class. This is nothing bad, but he changed his personality drastically to get into this new circle of friends. Now .. He let's ...

friends friendship

0

Q: Instuctor wants me to pay for additional lessons before sign off; but didn't complete all hours of the course

I'm taking some mandatory motorcycle lessons (required before you can legally ride on the road). I've paid around $600 for these to the school the runs the course. The course is supposed to be 18 hours (of class / riding time) and runs over a weekend. Due to slow progress over the weekend - the...

conflict-aversion politeness approach teachers

JAD

11:40 AM

@Tinkeringbell if it was self-deleted, maybe it shouldn't be posted here either

ChrisW

@Tinkeringbell OK thanks. Perhaps you should delete it from chat too then.

Tinkeringbell

It's gone :) Stupid me.

JAD

:>

Jasper Loy

11:52 AM

@Tinkeringbell and @Mithrandir: I just made some singing vids today: youtube.com/watch?v=X2OTA4VVNLo

Extroverted Main Man

12:05 PM

0

Q: Friend keeps making jokes about my ethnicity which are not funny

My parents are from India, but I was born and raised in the Netherlands (which is where I still live). I am in university and a friend keeps making jokes about the fact that I am of Indian descent. The problem is, the jokes are simply not funny. Although I am not offended by them, I don't know ho...

india netherlands humor

Mithrandir

@JasperLoy not bad

ElizB

1:29 PM

Kinda weird that my mentor hasn't given me feedback yet on the recent edits to my presentation.... I just emailed and asked about it. I hope things are okay. Otherwise I feel like i'm twiddling my thumbs :P

Good morning people :)

avazula

@IPSCommentBot tp

!!/alive @IPSCommentBot

@ElizB I hope they will be happy about your changes. You're a hard worker, there's no reason things wouldn't be okay :) :pep_talk_done:

ElizB

1:48 PM

@avazula Thanks! I found out that my mentor hurt her back and hasn't taken a look yet. She is gonna take a quick look now, and I'll keep editing. I wanted to make sure I didn't make any edits/deletions that she wanted to keep. Thanks for the pep talk :P :)

ElizB

2:45 PM

who knew that picking different ways to display text on powerpoint was so difficult?

Dukeling

3:28 PM

@Termatinator You could always ask a question on IPS about how to share your feelings with her, if you'd like more input from others.

ElizB

3:57 PM

wow, ya chatty bot.... :P

Em C

4:12 PM

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phew, that looks better :P

ElizB

Thanks! :D

i'm just about done with my work hours now. Played a lot with the display of text on microsoft Powerpoint, using "SmartArt"

i basically transformed wordy slides to simple and to the point slides :D

oh, and pictures. lots of pictures!

Em C

pictures are good! nobody likes to read wordy slides, and besides if they're busy reading they usually aren't listening :P

ElizB

exactly :)

I have a lot of words.

Tinkeringbell

4:46 PM

twitter.com/FinlandExplorer/status/1040254215384440832 I guess I found yet another project :P

I'm going to crochet myself a boyfriend. Then I'm going to use all sorts of silly electronic parts and make him do the dishes too

user15026

Oh gosh yes dishes are the worst

Tinkeringbell

Pfft. I'm glad we have a dishwasher but even that is bad. Once it's done you still have to dry everything off

I think I actually preferred just washing stuff myself

El'endia Starman

@ElizB The best words?

ElizB

5:16 PM

@El'endiaStarman yeah, the most succinct words, that gets the message across

Em C

if you're going to leave chatty comments, at least don't @ a mod in them :P

3

DoritoStyle

5:35 PM

For the record, I think that was valid feedback on the answer, not just chatty

Termatinator

@Dukeling problem is, i did. That was a long time ago and now we are also good friends

DoritoStyle

OK, anyone wanna tell me why that's too chatty instead of talking to the robot over my shoulder? ;)

oh wait, probably cause I literally wrote "I agree".

Mithrandir

No, because that's chatty by IPS standards

comments are to be used strictly for asking clarification / suggesting improvements here

DoritoStyle

Eh, I think I added extra info about actually emboldening the friend, but not a big deal.

Mithrandir

TIL: entertaining little kids by doing bike tricks is difficult with a (possibly) broken toe

but hey, they enjoyed it

DoritoStyle

5:42 PM

@Mithrandir Ouch. I bet your pain only added to the enjoyment though, kids are sadistic sometimes!

Mithrandir

They didn't know about the toe :P

(It was an impromptu show... I was practicing, trying to turn a corner on a skinny, and it ended with me doing wheelies, and skinnies, and jumps, and endos, and picking stuff uo off the floor from the bike...)

Em C

@DoritoStyle "I agree with this other comment" doesn't add anything, just upvote the comment. And "I think your answer is bad because..." comments are deleted as well, as discussed on meta

Mithrandir

6:11 PM

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DoritoStyle

@EmC in my opinion, I didn’t just agree, I expanded on a concept that I thought should be added to the question. OP should be worries about the friend agreeing and even further they should be worried about that answer encouraging the friend to make more bad jokes. I got caught by a bit of heavy handed moderation before the answerer could consider this point IMO.

I’m not a newbie, so I’m aware that there’s a need to curtail “I agree” and “me too” posts!

To be fair, I literally wrote “I agree” so the regex script/boy got me here in the 1st place. Oops :)

Em C

@DoritoStyle it wasn't clear to me that comment is suggesting an improvement, it sounded like you were disagreeing with the first half of the answer?

DoritoStyle

Hmm. Is disagreeing in comments too outside the scope of suggesting improvement? I guess I never considered that angle. Thanks for the insight.

Em C

well, you say "this might embolden the friend and lead to more jokes" - ok, and what do you expect the answerer supposed to do with that information?

DoritoStyle

I guess I was asking them to change their answer

completely. You’re right, should just be a downvote

Em C

6:27 PM

yeah, that's a bit outside the scope of what "suggest improvements" is meant to be...

like the meta post says - better to vote accordingly, and write what you think is a good answer (if it doesn't already exist) :)

DoritoStyle

I guess I’m the end i hoped to discourage others from accepting that answer. Isn’t that what your comment is getting at as well then? ;-)

--- good bot though, does it have a threshold to lock a thread after enough off-topic chatter?

Em C

@DoritoStyle well.. probing questions... ;) like a later comment on it suggests, perhaps this works if you use a particular tone or body language? perhaps they do have personal experience with this working and forgot to include that information?

@DoritoStyle nope, the bot doesn't actually do anything except post comments in chat if they match certain patterns

personally, if I see an answer and think "this answer is bad and wrong!" I say "ok, what in my experience leads me to think is bad or won't work? how has OP accounted for this?" -- and if they haven't, I can ask how the answer would handle that situation. (and then if they come back and say "idk I was just speculating" -> NAA because no backup, or something I disagree with -> well, at least it's in the answer now for everyone else to judge accordingly)

DoritoStyle

Good perspective

Em C

6:45 PM

I learned it from Catija :P

I think it's helped a lot with making my comments more constructive though. Someone I disagreed strongly with on Reddit recently even thanked me for being so polite in my reply, haha

Mithrandir

7:01 PM

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Extroverted Main Man

7:35 PM

-2

Q: How to deal with metropolitans using "Public School" as a curse word and laughing evilly everyday

I've been dealing with this for 15 years, since Freshman year of university. If I'm not myself getting called "public school" in the same discriminating tone as "f*****" or "n*****", I hear it being used as an explicit term, like screaming "f***" you're upset. And its always followed by evil laug...

harassment

Mithrandir

7:57 PM

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Mithrandir

9:05 PM

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obviously the people on-site are being more chatty than the people in chat

El'endia Starman

Significantly so.

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to help SO lose in games?

My SO and me like to play card and boardgames from time to time. The problem is, she always throws a tantrum when losing(crying, being mad). When she gets the slightest bit behind in any game she gets apathic and says the game is stupid or there is no sense in playing, its over anyways(but it's...

games girlfriend

Mithrandir

9:41 PM

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apaul

10:00 PM

Is anyone else noticing a spate of somewhat suspect questions lately? Not sure if it's just me, but it seems like we may have another creative writer.

Mithrandir

Mhm.

apaul

@Mithrandir Is that a yes?

Mithrandir

It's a non-committal noise that indicates that I've seen what you wrote.

apaul

@Mithrandir That's why I asked...

Extroverted Main Man

10:16 PM

0

Q: New vehicle purchased

I have recent decided to trade in my car for a leased car. So far no issues. The problem is that i usually have to pass through anything I want to purchase with my dad. I am 30 and admittedly this may have been slightly rebellious, but the car purchase was well researched before hand. I am still ...

conversations united-states parents

apaul

10:38 PM

@Mithrandir Next time you might try a "hmm" or "ah", or ya'know just not respond ;)

Mithrandir

@apaul ^_-

El'endia Starman

10:54 PM

I usually use "Mmm." for non-committal grunts. "Mhm" is slightly affirmative, "hmm" is thoughtful, and "ah" is understanding.

I think I've developed weirdly specific meanings for the words I use over time.

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