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12:19 AM
0
Q: How to politely renege on an offer for a room?

A. W.A bit of background: I recently responded to an online ad for a room in a shared home in a city close to me. The poster and I spoke back and forth a bit, and I ended up taking a look at the house. While it was never explicitly stated, even less so in writing, it was assumed that I would be signin...

 
12:53 AM
-1
Q: Is my teacher being fair?

HelpOk so last week I had a unit test in bio class and I could have used 5 extra minutes to finish the test but my teacher said he’s not taking the test if we don’t hand it in as soon as class is over. The next day however, he gave this student (who was absent the day before) TWENTY extra minutes to...

 
 
5 hours later…
SQB
5:49 AM
@IntrovertedMetaMan. needs more tactfulness.
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because you're asking us how to bully your neighbors. — peufeu 5 hours ago
No, no they're not.
Ah, now I see the commenter's deleted answer.
 
6:13 AM
morning
Maybe I'm insensitive to this because I live above a company that does woodworking monday through saturday all day, but I fail to see the big deal
 
SQB
I wouldn't call it bullying, either. That doesn't mean that there's no problem. If a neighbour of mine decided to take up woodworking in their garage, noisily, I might have a problem with that, too.
Especially the whining sound of powertools in use can be extremely annoying.
 
Yeah but unless noise ordinance actually forbids it your options are ask politely or eat it
 
SQB
But "what should I do" is out of scope for this stack.
 
so is speculating on local laws and giving legal advice regarding that
 
SQB
Asking politely is better than what their neighbour did.
 
A J
6:24 AM
@user5389107 afternoon
 
hey AJ
 
SQB
Problem with noise ordinances is that they usually handle peaks only.
I'd have less problems with an occasional 110 dB than with a continuous 80 dB.
 
A J
In terms of noise, I am glad that I live in a good neighborhood.
 
A J
7:03 AM
I wonder what IPS Comment Bot will do during the scheduled mutiny.
 
 
1 hour later…
8:20 AM
!!/reports
!!/help
yep you're a bit borked
!!/help ips
 
A J
!!/help Mithrandir
 
8:44 AM
Is it just me or does interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/14473/31 not explain why a white lie would be good?
 
A J
9:10 AM
@Mithrandir It doesn't really focus on IPS part.
 
9:21 AM
Can we get a blue one to look at the comments devolving into a dumpster fire on here: interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/2958/…
 
@user5389107 Hmmm... that fired up again? It's gone now
 
@Tinkeringbell I felt like a general discussion about the disambiguation of the word "white" was inappropriate for a meta question
 
@user5389107 Yep, it certainly is. Discussions on meta ideally focus on the answer, not ethnology
 
10:09 AM
May I have some attention for this one? It's asking for 'what do I do' and 'how to reply to these questions'... interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/14105/1599 It was closed but got reopened, any specific reasons for that?
 
0
Q: How to remain a part of the smoking company after quiting smoking?

FlorenceMy question is about the life of former smoker. After 5 years of smoking I finally gave up this awfull habit. It started after I entered the University and became more independent. I have still many friends who smoke on a daily basis and it became such a problem while walking together! I hate the...

 
 
1 hour later…
SQB
11:31 AM
@ExtrovertedMainMan #AllStacksAreStackOverflow. You should see what Science Fiction & Fantasy gets from time to time.
 
12:17 PM
@SQB If it's deleted, we can't ;)
 
A J
> If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
 
> I need to lift my feet off of the ground, the level of this conversation wants to pass underneath :P
 
A J
lol
 
12:33 PM
It kinda works better in person :P Just lift your feet and wait for people to comment on it :P
 
A J
haha
> Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
> A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
 
12:53 PM
As a kid I wanted to become a famous actor because I thought it was so cool what all these actors were doing, being recognised and influential and people holding them in good regard, entirely beside the fun of acting (I was in a children's acting troupe at the time).
Then my mum asked me if I really wanted that, because it would mean a lot of people following me around all the time, taking photos of me when I was out and about or even in my home, pressing me for interviews, stuff like that.
... I changed my mind about the famous part. :P
 
@doppelgreener Just try living in a small town: Everyone recognizes you and knows about your life, you don't recognize half of them back, the other half shouldn't have that information... The only thing that's lacking is the pictures :P
 
hahaha :D
 
Are you still acting? :)
 
i'm not; a few years after that the youth acting troupe moved location to somewhere too far away
then i moved state
 
A J
I got a question. If corn oil comes from corn and olive oil from olive, where does baby oil come from?
 
1:02 PM
Minerals :P
 
A J
lol
 
(baby minerals)
 
A J
> Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words.
 
> Aibohphobia: Fear of palindromes
 
A J
1:22 PM
@Mithrandir Speaking of palindromes, I tried to make fun of my colleague during the college. During the C++ practical lab, I was writing a program for reversing a string. When I finished the code, I called him and asked if there is a problem with my code because it was always giving the same output for the same input (input=> nitin;output=> nitin). He looked at the code like hundred times and added breakpoints, but the output was always the same. We just sat behind and had fun watching. ;)
2
 
see they could have not been dicks and called it aibophobia without the extra h
 
@AJ hahahahaha :D
 
@Mithrandir ()() isn't a palindrome... ())( Is :P
5
 
@Tinkeringbell that one's trippy as heck.
 
@doppelgreener Took me a while to see it too when I was presented with that fact the first time :)
 
1:29 PM
@Tinkeringbell Ahhh! My eyes :/
 
SQB
@doppelgreener seconded.
 
@Henders Sorry, I didn't intend to cause permanent damage with that one
@VikasKumar Hello
Here's the chatroom :)
@Tinkeringbell I respect the policies, but I guess it's more like a discussion. I will try to edit, but still I think it won't be appropriate. Now what do I do? Is there any chat where I can discuss it with experienced users. Do you still think my question can be re worded? If yes, I will. — Vikas Kumar 3 mins ago
(For those of you wondering ;) )
 
Sid
1:47 PM
@Tinkeringbell Ew. :P
 
1:57 PM
1
Q: International spelling

WendyGI just saw a post where virtually every edit was changing the spelling of a single word from the uk spelling to the american spelling. I have had edits like this happen to my posts in the past. Is there anything that can be done beyond hope a British person spots the edits and rejects them?

 
0
Q: How to confess severe mistakes to family?

Victorique De BloisI committed a grave error four years ago, I cannot exactly tell what is about, but is something that I must never do. My sister had already done the same thing before me, but no one had a knowledge about it. Then, last year she confessed and everybody got disappointed with her, except me, who got...

0
Q: How to find the right explanation quickly

Comann Silvan I hope I can explain point one correctly (main reason of this question) I have a problem, which is a bit irritating over time. In some, nearly all, conversations, I answer to a question and nobody understands it the way i want them to. Sometimes I offend somebody while I just want to say somet...

 
2:38 PM
29 messages moved to Trash
 
1
Q: Helping a non-vegetarian understand why I won't eat of a plate with non-vegetarian food

Violet FlareMy partners Nan made us cauliflower and cheese, which was vegetarian friendly. She dished it up and I was happy to eat away. She had cooked some breaded chicken for everyone else, and Quorn nuggets for myself. Since there was a piece of chicken left, she put it in the dish that had leftover cauli...

 
3:14 PM
Agreed. I'm usually someone who swallows small inconveniences rather than complaining, but that comment by the rep would have pushed me for sure. After waiting on hold for 25 minutes, the last thing I should be expected to do is be told to (essentially) shut up and be sold products I'm not interested in, especially while in a hurry. OP did the right thing and just got a bad rep. — Broots Waymb 48 secs ago
Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]
 
1
Q: Appropriate response when someone announces pregnancy?

aaaWhen someone tells me that they or their partner are pregnant, My typical response is "Congratulations!" But I have found out that this remark is not always appropriate- notably when the pregnancy is unplanned. Sometimes I am informed about the pregnancy via text or online chat so it is harder t...

 
3:29 PM
(I downvoted because I don't feel the response "Ask" is valid for any question "How can I request [xyz]". The "How" has not been elaborated upon here.) — Aaron F 16 secs ago
Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]
 
@Tinkeringbell Hi. So you read about my problem and what I want?
 
Sid
3:45 PM
@VikasKumar Is Changing your Date of Birth, not an option?
 
@Sid by changing, you mean change in my documents, replacing May with October?
 
Sid
Yeah.
They know about your Date of Birth from those documents, no?
 
That's not possible. There is no written proof for I was born around October (but it's true I was born around October). They need proof to change it.
Yeah, my colleague and some friends know about my docs and this thing.
colleagues*
 
Sid
It's kinda difficult to really help here(at least for me).
 
Maybe. That's why I wrote I need to chat some experienced users (maybe those who have known about such things) :)
 
4:08 PM
@VikasKumar I did :) You still around? (Sorry, dinner got in the way)
 
Yeah I am here. I'm very serious about this.
 
I'm seeing several ways your question could work... but I'm not sure which one you're after so I was hesitant to edit it.

- Your wanting your co-workers to wish you a happy birthday on a different date then now, you haven't told them yet and want to make the first statement as effectively as possible
- You have told them but want to handle the fall-out (got some kind of response that you need to handle?)
- You have told them and they repeatedly refused to honor the request?
Which one is exactly?
 
Sid
@Tinkeringbell Aren't you like 3 hours behind me? Dinner, so early?
 
@Sid Yep, Dutch dinners are at 5/6 pm... although younger people often eat later nowadays
(I still live with my parents so their rules :P)
 
Sid
@Tinkeringbell Don't you feel hungry at night?
 
4:14 PM
@Sid Not really, no
There's fruit at 8/9 pm-ish and bed at 11 ;)
 
3rd is not the case at all.

2nd is not true for my colleagues (i.e., haven't told them yet), but for some other friends. And yes, I want to handle the fall-out.

So 1st is more likely. But to the 1st, I want to add this:

I need a good reason (ethically/morally) to explain why should they wish me on a different date. I'm also not sure if celebrating on a different date (that too is not fully correct, only month is known) would be bad or not.
 
@VikasKumar Okay, so the 'good reason' is something that needs to be discussed in chat... because on main we don't write your arguments for you... Wouldn't the truth do it?
"I've never known my real birthday but recently found out it's most likely to be October. So I'd like to switch from May to October"
Over here, most people would certainly honor such a request (or be demanding double parties :P)
Lot's of questions, I know. Maybe it's a cultural difference... I don't see why it would be bad to just ask :)
 
Maybe this will help me explain 'good reason':

One thing I want to say is: I will definitely follow what world honors, even if they say celebrate in the Month that is on my documents (May). But that will really "kill" me. I'm not a kid but still I feel very sad. It would kill me every year. But I would respect the world if it's correct thing to do. But again, I'll do it only when celebrating on October is more wrong than celebrating in May. This is what I want to know.
So good reason would be if someone with knowledge explains to me: There's nothing wrong if I celebrate in October. It's not wrong, not bad, and celebrating in May is no more correct than October. Something like that.
Hope you understand now. If you still don't, I can explain further.
 
4:29 PM
@VikasKumar I'd say there's nothing wrong with it :) My birthday is in August but I've always celebrated it in September because often people are on vacation in August... You said you've shared your October birthday on social media, how are your friends about that?
 
Sid
My Birthday is in June but I never celebrate my birthday. :/
 
I shared it 2 years ago. I made it private a year ago. At that time they didn't know about this thing. They wished me on social media. Face to face, some close friends (no family members) wished me. With embarrassment, I said Thank You. Also, I think it's a good reason for you. Because people on vacation, there wont be your friends there celebrate in August.
@Sid I don't like cutting the cake and parties. I just want a self respect. That will kill me less and help me live longer :)
 
Sid
@VikasKumar It seems you are more embarrassed about admitting your birthday on October than others are about wishing you.
 
@VikasKumar You have a similar good reason: You found out that despite what's on your papers your birthday is supposed to be in October :) It sounds like your friends are okay with that, that they're wishing you well in October and not in May, so I think you went about it well...
 
@Sid little bit but true. Only because I'm afraid I don't have the confident to explain them this thing. Once I explain, and become confident about how to explain further to new people, I'll be less embarrassed.
@Tinkeringbell can we edit my original question somehow?
 
4:38 PM
@VikasKumar Maybe. The real problem seems to be the embarrassment you feel about admitting this, so you're looking for a good way to do so without showing the embarassment?
 
Yes a great deal. But only if I can also explain with a valid reason that celebrating in October is not wrong and not too complicated (I currently assume it's very complicated, but I can handle it). This point is very important for me.
complicated => complex or tough or not easy to understand.
Example why I said complex/complicated: I have to remember both Months, one for docs, and one for my self respect.
 
@VikasKumar Hmmm... so you're afraid you going to forget you asked your co-workers to celebrate your birthday in October, and look surprised when they do or something?
 
No. I just said it. It's complicated but I can handle and remember it. Just read the sentence before " This point is very important for me."
If they don't remember, I can handle it pretty well. I will remind them.
 
So you want help on explaining that there's a valid reason for doing so? Or you want answers to come up with that valid reason (which is off-topic)?
 
I guess it's not easy or not possible to come up with a valid reason? In that case, I would say I want help on explaining it somehow.
 
4:55 PM
@VikasKumar Well, we could make all sort of reasons up for you ;) Like 'I'll be out of town in May' ... but they'd all be equally valid and primarily opinion based ;-) I think your best bet indeed would be help on explaining the reason you have, which is that you found out that the date on your papers was fabricated and that your real birthday is more likely to have been in October
 
0
Q: Let's "Be Nice" with LGBT Issues

Physics-ComputeJust as we expect our members to not suggest someone has a mental disorder for merely believing LGBT issues are not a lifestyle choice (innate), it's also expected that we not suggest members have a mental disorder for believing it is a lifestyle choice (not innate). The use of the term homophob...

 
@VikasKumar Would you like me to take a try at editing it that way, or would you prefer to do it yourselves?
 
@Tinkeringbell if you consider this a reason and good reason (the true thing you wrote in your last sentence), I won't mind accepting it. Maybe I just didn't pay attention to it.
Can it be a reason?
I want you to know, I don't want to tell lies. I just want to be honest.
Sure you can edit it. I'll let you know if anything is missing or not.
 
@VikasKumar Then it's not so much a question of whether it can be reason as of whether it should, and if you want to be honest, it should. But to me, it doesn't seem weird to be honest at confessing the birthday on your papers was made up because your real one was lost...
 
Yeah but you know people believe things when they hear it from a lot of ones. I guess I need suggestions and motivation from elder people. Their positive advice. I think that will work for me. So far with your conversation and some previous answers there, I know it's not a bad thing to go with October. :)
 
5:02 PM
@VikasKumar It really isn't. One last thing though: where are you from? Culture may be important in this, what's perfectly normal in the Netherlands may be weird in Germany :P
 
It's not maths and science, it's life, and sometimes motivation can change things, at least for me.
India.
 
@VikasKumar Do you mind if I add that to the question as well?
 
No. I won't mind if it corrects the question and details to follow the policies and rules. Do your best and include the things I said important somehow if possible.
Do you make drawings?
 
@VikasKumar I sometimes draw ;) But I crochet a lot more :)
why?
 
I saw that in your profile.
 
5:09 PM
@VikasKumar Hahaha okay :) (I already forgot it was there :P)
 
Okay. I'll wait for your edit.
 
@VikasKumar Take a look, tell me what you think :)
 
" or be critical of me: choosing a date that's not the one in my docs." does it mean they want me to celebrate in the month written in docs?
 
@VikasKumar Yeah, that was worry nr. 3 you put in your questions?
 
Okay. Now, here, since some detail is removed, users who will answer will assume that celebrating in October is not a bad thing. No? That was a point that I also wanted to know. But it's missing now. But do you think if they answer and explain the worries, that will cover all missing things?
 
5:22 PM
0
Q: How to avoid lack of respect due to perceived youth / lack of experience

YElmBackground I'm a woman of small build (1,60m) and have a rather high pitched voice. If asked to estimate my age, people guess me at least 5 years, usually 10 years younger. I am 31, so people guess me at about 20 - 25 years old, which would be the very beginning of a professional carrer. I work ...

 
@VikasKumar Whether or not celebrating in October is a bad thing can't be in your question, that would make it off-topic... I think if people really think it's a bad thing they'll tell you regardless, that there's no way to explain this effectively since you're supposed to celebrate in May ;)
 
Yeah, just before your reply here I thought same!
:D
But is it sure?
We should proceed than.
I also don't want people wrongly motivating me :(
 
I'll ask another mod to check (just to make sure I didn't miss anything)... and then I'll reopen it :)
 
Okay.
I'll wait for your answer too :P
 
@VikasKumar Hmmm? Like encouraging you to do it while it's not a good idea? Or are you more worried about people thinking you have a secret evil plan/motivation for doing this?
@apaul if you want to help, take a look at this, if it's on-topic now: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/14105/…
 
5:27 PM
Evil plan? No (?). I don't think so.
Yes, little afraid people encouraging falsely just to make me happy. I don't want that. That's because I asked it on stackexchange, because people write true things here.
 
@VikasKumar Okay :) So just worried they'll say it's a good idea while it's not? I don't think you'll have to worry about that here, people are pretty good at saying... 'not a good idea, don't do it'.
 
:D
Yeah, people pull legs very easily, especially on stackoverflow.
Nice talking to you.
Many many thanks.
 
@VikasKumar You're welcome :)
 
Is there a reason the star on ArtOfCode's message is not filled while all other stars are? (in the starred bar on the right of chat on Desktop chat)
 
5:35 PM
@scohe001 Yes. That means the message is pinned: It'll always be on top. Watch this ;)
 
Oh dang, it's like magic!
Is that a fancy mod tool?
 
user15026
@Tinkeringbell well, for 14 days, iirc
 
@scohe001 Room owners can do it too :)
@Ash That short? Hmmm...
 
user15026
Yeah, it's not forever.
 
@Tinkeringbell What?
 
5:36 PM
Two weeks.
 
Ahh super spiffy. Thanks!
 
@apaul I edited that and I could use a second pair of eyes, since I'm prone to overseeing problems on posts that I edit. So, I saw you hanging around and asked for your help? Do you think it's better now, no longer asking what to say/do and good enough to reopen?
@scohe001 You can fill the empty star by starring it too ;)
Things you star turn up yellow in the starboard, things others starred are white :)
 
Dealing with other fires at the moment, sorry.
 
@apaul No worries :)
@VikasKumar I reopened it ;)
 
Thank you.
 
5:40 PM
@Tinkeringbell Ahh. I feel like there are so many little things like this across the SE network where you just need to be around for long enough (or embarrass yourself enough times) to find it all out. No complaints--it's part of the fun--but at times I wish there was a user guide somewhere
 
The user guide is wonderfully incomplete and an absolute pain to read
It's called Meta :)
 
@scohe001 meta.stackexchange.com/questions/7931/…. Have fun reading all of that! :P
 
Hahaha oh god Tink, that looks like pure joy
 
@scohe001 (It does help a lot though, I've read big chunks of it now, and if I need something it's where I start looking ;) )
 
@ArtOfCode ahh you're right. Guess I should be searching Main Meta for this kind of thing in the future before asking--good call!
 
5:47 PM
@scohe001 Asking in chat is always okay too ;) Often there's people that know where stuff is and can dig up a link for you faster :)
 
@Tinkeringbell thanks for editing your comment on meta; I was still trying to figure out how to diplomatically say something about what may or may not be name-calling :)
 
@Tinkeringbell Oof. This is like eating my SE broccoli, isn't it
 
@Cascabel Yeah, that wasn't really the message I was trying to convey... just that there was a meta where that stuff seemed to have been discussed as well.
 
a "head bob" is not a good idea, certainly not in the US at least, as it could be perceived as a nod which would imply agreement with or at least consideration of their statement. I would instead suggest shaking one's head ("no", or disapproval), omit the smile (can also be perceived as a non-verbal indication of agreement), and walk away. For things that are less offensive that you just disagree with (sports teams, sandwiches, etc) that's fine, but for something that is explicitly offensive you need to ensure you're not expressing anything that could be perceived of as approval. — Doktor J 1 min ago
#14460 Doktor J (101 rep) | A: How to quickly remove yourself from a homophobic conversation? (score: 5) | posted 20 hours ago by Knetic (779 rep)
Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]
 
@scohe001 Just skim the list for now, so that you know globally what is there and can look something up when you want it ;)
@Cascabel Also, you know where to find me if I make mistakes like that again ;)
 
5:54 PM
It was to expect someone downvotes without reason. Shame on you! — puck 27 secs ago
#14511 puck (427 rep) | A: How to avoid lack of respect due to perceived youth / lack of experience (score: -1) | posted 1 minutes ago by puck (427 rep)
Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]
 
0
Q: Bad work results from voluntary co-worker

KeshpethI am currently working on a voluntary translation project for a game. We're working in a team of ~5 people per language (3 active translators in our case) in a Smartcat project. However, one of the translators (also, the one that does most of the translating) tends to deliver very poor quality re...

0
Q: How do I fix a friendship between two of my friends?

Yuji SasazakiCouple of months ago, two of my friends (X and Y) stopped talking with each other after a argument in a game (dota 2). I thought this would pass because small discussions/fights like theese are common in this kind of game, at least in our group of friends, but not this time. I talked to each one,...

 
6:52 PM
@IPSCommentBot a comment like that will certainly help OP not get more downvotes
 
2
Q: How to discuss girlfriend's weight loss plans?

Tam CotonMy girlfriend is in the process of losing weight, and the topic comes up between us occasionally (at her instigation), usually with a context of "I'm going to be so much hotter in a few months". She's very much doing it for herself, and I don't think there's unhealthy body image stuff attached. ...

 
@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ That is the OP.
 
@Catija huh, different username and all
Just changed?
 
No... It's "puck" in both cases.
It's a deleted answer, so maybe that's the confusion?
 
Well, I propose that we appear with as much PII on the internet as possible
@Catija deleted answer?
@Catija oh
Still, a very constructive comment. Almost hypnotizes downvoters
My spellchecker thinks it's not possible to hypnotize someone
 
7:22 PM
Do we still get those sweet reputation points from the upvotes received after you reach the daily cap but before the OP marks your answer as accepted? (Assuming they eventually do)
 
@Clay07g Yep :) those 15 points are still yours ;)
 
:( meaning no retroactive points?
 
You don't receive reputation from upvotes after 200 reputation from votes in that UTC day. Accepts are exempt from the repcap.
 
200
 
Yeah but when you get accepted, do all the upvotes that previously gave no rep suddenly give you rep all at once?
 
7:24 PM
right, typo
@Clay07g No.
 
Darn
 
user15026
@Clay07g Nope. Votes care capped at 200 rep per day
 
user15026
So after that, they're effectively "wasted".
 
Fair enough
 
7:44 PM
Hello @GGMG :) Nice to see you lurking here again :)
 
0
Q: How can I explain something to someone who doesn't want to hear it?

Thomas MyronBackground: My parents have recently changed to a vegan diet. They've discovered a lot of books, websites, and videos providing scientifically-backed reasons to eat only plant-based foods, and cut out animal products entirely. Since becoming vegans, both my parents feel great. A family we are b...

 
@ExtrovertedMainMan I wonder how often people post to push some idea here
It's usually recognizable in other SEs, but not this one, I guess
 
 
2 hours later…
10:09 PM
0
Q: Is it rude to wear headphones around the office?

headphoneWearerIs it rude to wear headphones around the office? I don't mean when I'm sitting at my desk, but when I'm: Walking in the hallways to the bathroom/kitchen/printer (people often say hi, and strike up conversations around this, and would prefer not to discourage that too much). Sitting at my desk ...

 
10:43 PM
0
Q: Balancing Trips with Disabled Partner

AnonForNowMy girlfriend requires a wheelchair for mobility. I am not a very sporty individual, but one thing I like to do on trips is go for long hikes, and often the terrain is rough/rocky. Say I am taking a trip to a foreign country for two weeks. I would probably want to go one two or three hikes, eac...

 
11:32 PM
@Tinkeringbell Right, forgot you could see people who just enter the room. Don't mind me, just trying to keep a handle on the personalities that run this place.
 

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