10:11 PM
@Tinkeringbell Look... I just want to say...
I think you're one of a small handful of people who actually get how this site could work. Who are able to take a holistic view of how folks interact here, and see the opportunities for improvement.
And I know very well how incredibly discouraging that is.
So if you're feeling like you maybe don't want to be here... If it's starting to feel like a chore instead of a challenge... If it's not fun...
...you should definitely walk away.
Not necessarily forever, but for now.
Because otherwise, you will walk away forever.
I've told this story before, but...
After about two years on Stack Overflow, I'd had it. I was tired.
Tired of being called a nazi. Tired of trying to make things better and being criticized for it the entire way.
Tired of telling folks that "list of things" questions couldn't work, tired of patiently sharing observations from past sites, tired of waiting for shit to hit the fan and then helping to clean it up.
And tired of being blamed for not having a big enough smile while doing it.
So I walked away. I cut my participation down to almost nothing. I joined Seasoned Advice and Programmers under different names, and tried to help build those sites - but did almost no closing, or downvoting, or criticism. Heck, I went out of my way to defend topics and behaviors that previously I would've criticized.
It was someone else's turn.
And... It was immensely refreshing.
I stopped getting emails telling me what a terrible person I was. I stopped waking up in the middle of the night to find my inbox full of angry people I didn't know passing judgement about my life.
And 6 months or so later, when Jeff asked me if I would work for the company... I was able to say "yes" without feeling like I was being asked to put a noose around my own neck.
...ok, I stalled for a couple of months, but here's the kicker: when I went back to meta & started reading some of the stuff I'd been ignoring... Turns out, I wasn't alone. Other people had gotten sick of the fluff and nonsense too. Other people had gotten sick of lazy, poorly-written questions. A lot of other people.
It opened my eyes. Here I'd been feeling sorry for myself, feeling like I was some desert prophet eating locusts and preaching to jackrabbits... But I was just being impatient.
The problems become manifest soon enough and even the folks who'd damned me were ready to admit that something needed to be done... And they did it.
The zeitgeist changed, and brought with it the change I'd despaired ever seeing.
If I hadn't walked away when I did, I would've been bitter. But instead, I came back refreshed, energized, and willing to help.
