Whether council or police, this seems like good advice to me. If for no other reason, then for the fact that—going by Brondahl’s description alone—this whole scenario feels like a huge red flag with alarm bells and whistles on it to me. Keep in mind that no one actually seems to know that the woman is disabled; only circumstantial evidence points to this, and every piece of circumstantial evidence presented in the question is at least equally consistent with someone being held in the flat against their wishes. If that’s it, then council/police is definitely the right step. — Janus Bahs Jacquet 54 secs ago
00:00 - 18:0018:00 - 00:00
12:00 AM
#9366 Janus Bahs Jacquet (101 rep) | A: How to address awful smells from the flat above (score: 31) | posted 56 hours ago by apaul (25945 rep)
12:21 AM
I'm flabbergasted, but I agree with this above answer. I'd add that I'd nip that whole "happy family together" notion (e.g., camping together) in the bud. I certainly know zero details about your lives, but, even if everything has been amicable thus far, it just does not sound like a situation that will lead to anything positive! — A.fm. 13 secs ago
#9401 A.fm. (262 rep) | A: How to stop my ex wife from pressuring relationship between our son and my new partner? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by ArtOfCode (158 rep)
@ArwenUndómiel It is very brief but i think the last sentence counts as a why. because it redirects punishment to something that is less hassle while keeping Anne happy. — Jesse 19 secs ago
#9292 Jesse (2225 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: -1) | posted 3 days ago by user8174 (15 rep)
#9255 Hot Licks (101 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 91) | posted 4 days ago by Cashbee (1578 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5101 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
1:15 AM
The Location is South-East Asia. It isn't really normal for girls to act this way here. — SomeoneElse 1 min ago
#9341 SomeoneElse (536 rep) | Q: Friend in a group behaving a bit strange, how to distance myself without being too forward? (score: 3) | posted 2 days ago by SomeoneElse (536 rep) | edited 15 hours ago by Jarko Dubbeldam (3249 rep)
Have you tried using the search bar? Sometimes business/email questions are better suited for Workplace SE. E.g. workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/1421/… — Crosscounter 1 min ago
#9383 Crosscounter (491 rep) | Q: Who should remove many people in cc from emails? (score: 0) | posted 41 hours ago by Edgar (107 rep)
#2400 Catija (8693 rep) | Q: WAS IT WRONG TO ASK: Minimum time for responding to someones answer? (score: 0) | posted 42 minutes ago by The Rare Empathist (54 rep)
1 hour later…
2:29 AM
out of curiousity I...quietly sniffed at the key hole is one of the most British sentences ever :) — Alan Sutherland 1 min ago
#9354 Alan Sutherland (101 rep) | Q: How to address awful smells from the flat above (score: 32) | posted 2 days ago by Brondahl (277 rep) | edited 2 days ago by Brondahl (277 rep)
2:58 AM
He could tell her that Bruce is trying to set them up and tells Mary that he doesn't plan on acting on this and if she is being harrassed by Alice. — SomeoneElse 15 secs ago
#9395 SomeoneElse (536 rep) | A: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 3) | posted 8 hours ago by Mick (145 rep) | edited 8 hours ago by Mick (145 rep)
Letting us know who and why you want to introduce yourself will help shape the answers way better. :) — SomeoneElse 1 min ago
#9397 SomeoneElse (536 rep) | Q: How to approach someone that you barely know? (score: -3) | posted 6 hours ago by Boolean (95 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Catija (8693 rep)
A challenge I'm facing with this (and did with the previous ones too) is going back and finding them. If there were someplace to note outstanding answers when we see them, for consideration in the next challenge, that would help me. — Monica Cellio 15 secs ago
#2383 Monica Cellio (7448 rep) | Q: Nominations for the best answer of the fourth quarter 2017 (score: 5) | posted 3 days ago by Catija (8693 rep) | edited 34 hours ago by apaul (25955 rep)
I really don't have much to add to this answer. You cover a lot of worthwhile bases - child should never be the messenger, ex no longer has any control over your life, ex has an interest in son's life. The only thing I might consider is that the ex has no control over the Anna's relationship with your son - that's for the two of them to sort out. — baldPrussian 36 secs ago
#9401 baldPrussian (4755 rep) | A: How to stop my ex wife from pressuring relationship between our son and my new partner? (score: 3) | posted 4 hours ago by ArtOfCode (178 rep)
3:27 AM
#2383 Catija (8693 rep) | Q: Nominations for the best answer of the fourth quarter 2017 (score: 5) | posted 3 days ago by Catija (8693 rep) | edited 35 hours ago by apaul (25965 rep)
3:38 AM
#9398 Jesse (2224 rep) | Q: How to stop my ex wife from pressuring relationship between our son and my new partner? (score: 1) | posted 5 hours ago by Yasskier (109 rep) | edited 44 minutes ago by Yasskier (109 rep)
3:55 AM
#9398 Yasskier (109 rep) | Q: How to stop my ex wife from pressuring relationship between our son and my new partner? (score: 1) | posted 5 hours ago by Yasskier (109 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Yasskier (109 rep)
There is something about Bruce-Alice that really wants to double-date. It might be interesting for you to get Mary's take on it, if you happen to run into her and can ask subtly. If you are both evil at heart, it might lead to a prank that hopefully won't get out of hand. — Lurker Larry 57 secs ago
#9393 Lurker Larry (141 rep) | Q: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 8) | posted 10 hours ago by Imperator (141 rep) | edited 8 hours ago by Catija (8693 rep)
4:41 AM
@andreirom you should fully read and comprehend the question before attempting to provide an answer. — Physics-Compute 34 secs ago
#9310 Physics-Compute (208 rep) | A: How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play? (score: 31) | posted 3 days ago by AndreiROM (6802 rep)
4:52 AM
@Physics-Compute - You should fully read my answer and comprehend it before you attempt to first deface it, and then condescendingly comment on my post. — AndreiROM 49 secs ago
#9310 AndreiROM (6802 rep) | A: How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play? (score: 31) | posted 3 days ago by AndreiROM (6802 rep)
"I'm guessing you're not a native English speaker" --what was the fault in it?? @Catija — The Rare Empathist 1 min ago
#2401 The Rare Empathist (54 rep) | A: WAS IT WRONG TO ASK: Minimum time for responding to someones answer? (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by Catija (8693 rep)
There are many general errors... not capitalizing "I", "a lot of time" should be "a lot of times"... but it is mostly unclear what you're saying, so it doesn't seem like something a native speaker would write. "Don't judge me but might get a bit late on this one too"... doesn't make sense. — Catija ♦ 32 secs ago
#2401 Catija (8693 rep) | A: WAS IT WRONG TO ASK: Minimum time for responding to someones answer? (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by Catija (8693 rep)
#9398 Jesse (2224 rep) | Q: How to stop my ex wife from pressuring relationship between our son and my new partner? (score: 1) | posted 6 hours ago by Yasskier (109 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Yasskier (109 rep)
5:16 AM
The gain is to determine whether escalation to the landlord and/or police is necessary. If nobody but Ray has heard from her in a long time, it's possible she's in very serious trouble. — David Schwartz 15 secs ago
#9355 David Schwartz (101 rep) | A: How to address awful smells from the flat above (score: 37) | posted 2 days ago by AK_is_curious (1702 rep) | edited 40 hours ago by AK_is_curious (1702 rep)
@andreirom by your own words you don't understand what is being asked. Comments are for asking for clarifications, not answers. Given that the answers to your requests for clarification are already answered in the question, they have no place in your answer as an aside. Please attempt to fully read and understand what is being asked. Requesting clarification is for comments. Disagreeing with the premise should also not be in an answer and is rude. — Physics-Compute 15 secs ago
#9310 Physics-Compute (208 rep) | A: How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play? (score: 31) | posted 3 days ago by AndreiROM (6802 rep)
What is your relationship with this person? Are you a client, co-worker, contractor, student, customer, supplier, constituent, or? Also, what are your priorities for this interaction? That is, if you can get a quick response but at the expense of this person hating your guts, is that OK? Or do you need to work with them again in the future? Etc. — 1006a 1 min ago
#3362 1006a (689 rep) | Q: How to request quicker replies from someone who is often out of the office, and nobody else can help? (score: 1) | posted 138 days ago by Canada - Area 51 Proposal (949 rep) | edited 138 days ago by Catija (8693 rep)
#9148 雰囲気読めない人 (1419 rep) | Q: How do I support my partner's return to her career after a five-year child raising hiatus? (score: 0) | posted 7 days ago by Hertz (489 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by Hertz (489 rep)
5:41 AM
#9310 AndreiROM (6822 rep) | A: How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play? (score: 31) | posted 3 days ago by AndreiROM (6822 rep)
5:56 AM
-1 Likely illegal, definitely immoral, and without informing the recorded party, quite unethical. 'Pulling out a recording' won't prove innocence, it will lead to questions of why you are so interested in someone that you are recording them every time you see them. — mcalex 45 secs ago
#9352 mcalex (352 rep) | A: How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play? (score: -2) | posted 2 days ago by Benubird (129 rep)
Is the issue with the kids playing at Jane's house while you're not there entirely because of the need to enter her house to extract them? If so, would making a phone call to get Jane to send the kids home when they're needed be possible? Or timing the visit so they go to the neighbour's and your wife collects them when she returns home from wherever she is? — mcalex 1 min ago
#9309 mcalex (352 rep) | Q: How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play? (score: 53) | posted 3 days ago by MrDuk (377 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by Raghav Dinesh (103 rep)
#3498 Jasper (211 rep) | A: How to ask a neighbor if I can replace our shared fence? (score: 3) | posted 136 days ago by T.E.D. (552 rep)
#160 Jasper (211 rep) | Q: How to politely decline an opportunity to be involved in a pyramid scheme? (score: 27) | posted 208 days ago by Fodder (1238 rep) | edited 208 days ago by Yvette Colomb (1950 rep)
6:40 AM
#2400 NVZ (8319 rep) | Q: WAS IT WRONG TO ASK: Minimum time for responding to someones answer? (score: 0) | posted 5 hours ago by The Rare Empathist (54 rep)
6:50 AM
@AndreiROM ... So the very act of rebooting the machine once has probably wasted 10 times (wild guessing) the energy the standby monitor wastes in days or weeks. Note: a better estimate could be done only knowing the characteristics of the OP workstation, but you get the point. — Lorenzo Donati 1 min ago
#9261 Lorenzo Donati (101 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 18) | posted 4 days ago by Astralbee (3543 rep)
@AndreiROM I agree about the uselessness of the financial argument with Anne, but that argument has an environmentalist twist that I'd point out: those 5 minutes spent to reconfigure the system involved rebooting the system, a phase that involves, technically, a lot of wasted energy (all the subsystems must be powered on before being configured by the OS to enter any kind of power-saving mode)... — Lorenzo Donati 1 min ago
#9261 Lorenzo Donati (101 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 18) | posted 4 days ago by Astralbee (3543 rep)
7:06 AM
@Catija comments seem to be the exact place for jokes and other comments about Anne being overbearing and the negligible amount of power being used. Those are, after all, comments. — Greg Schmit just now
#9255 Greg Schmit (101 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 95) | posted 4 days ago by Cashbee (1598 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
#9255 Catija (8693 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 95) | posted 4 days ago by Cashbee (1598 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
#9303 Greg Schmit (101 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 18) | posted 3 days ago by Pieter B (448 rep) | edited 3 days ago by Pieter B (448 rep)
7:35 AM
#9340 Spagirl (2180 rep) | A: How can I get someone to stop paying for my meal? (score: 0) | posted 3 days ago by Noldor130884 (198 rep)
8:26 AM
@AnneDaunted yes, I've seen that happen before on another question too, actually had a discussion about that in chat too. I didn't act then (wasn't sure of myself), but at the time I stated that were I to judge the question as I would usually do, there would be detail lacking and I would close it as too broad, please add the details.... :/ I'll see if I can dig up that question and chat transcript later today. — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#2395 Tinkeringbell (11600 rep) | Q: What constitutes a 'lack of research effort' on IPS? (score: 2) | posted 2 days ago by Tinkeringbell (11600 rep) | edited 2 days ago by NVZ (8319 rep)
8:36 AM
The only problem with this approach would be if OP had already spent any amount of time alone with Jane in her house. Given that the offer has been made several times, and OP has said that he didn't know how to politely decline, I can only assume that he did not decline the first couple times. So Jane would probably wonder why this wasn't an issue those times, why this agreement between OP and his wife was not in place before, but now it is. — walen 1 min ago
#9312 walen (611 rep) | A: How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play? (score: 98) | posted 3 days ago by Jess K. (6861 rep)
9:01 AM
#9322 RedSonja (697 rep) | A: How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play? (score: 24) | posted 3 days ago by baldPrussian (4755 rep)
#8810 bigbadmouse (143 rep) | A: Coworker scans my body. How to best tell him to stop? (score: 1) | posted 17 days ago by Debra (225 rep) | edited 16 days ago by Debra (225 rep)
9:12 AM
I had similar problem: to add to below answer I used info that monitors should be in standby as power needed to turn it ON is much greater than used in Standby for 12 hours. Also turning all monitor at once create a large spike in power that could result in blowing the fuse off. And energy needed to produce fuse is, again, much greater than monitors use in standby mode. — SZCZERZO KŁY 1 min ago
#9255 SZCZERZO KŁY (101 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 95) | posted 4 days ago by Cashbee (1598 rep) | edited 13 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
Did you consider the possibility that Mary could have a crush on you and Alice, with the help of Bruce, is trying to help her friend to make you do the "first move"? Maybe Mary didn't even asked her help, or instead she did. Who knows? But judging from the few information you gave us, it might be possible. In other words, maybe it's not that Bruce is trying to help you getting into a relationship, but is trying to help Alice helping Mary (maybe Mary is too shy to propose herself, or is afraid of putting your friendship at risk). — Lorenzo Donati 12 secs ago
#9393 Lorenzo Donati (101 rep) | Q: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 13) | posted 15 hours ago by Imperator (166 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by henning (3542 rep)
Please don’t write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by not having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don’t use them for other purposes. — Arwen Undómiel 34 secs ago
#9393 Arwen Undómiel (975 rep) | Q: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 13) | posted 15 hours ago by Imperator (166 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by henning (3542 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
9:41 AM
#9404 Arwen Undómiel (975 rep) | Q: Talking with someone who goes on lots of tangents (score: 0) | posted 19 minutes ago by bluevapor (65 rep)
I honestly can't really tell what the problem is. Is it really so bad to be told what is highlighted instead of "please text before you call"? And the thing with the light.. he just wanted to make sure you didn't get stuck with a product you couldn't use. He doesn't understand bikes it seems, but maybe he bought something incompatible with something he had at one point, and was just trying to save you from getting in the same situation? What exactly is it about his behavior that bothers you and others? — 雰囲気読めない人 29 secs ago
#9404 雰囲気読めない人 (1419 rep) | Q: Talking with someone who goes on lots of tangents (score: 0) | posted 20 minutes ago by bluevapor (65 rep)
9:55 AM
The situation has gotten so bad at times it has led to (verbal) fights! suggests to me that you've already tried some things to address the behavior? What have you tried? — Tinkeringbell 55 secs ago
#9404 Tinkeringbell (11600 rep) | Q: Talking with someone who goes on lots of tangents (score: -1) | posted 33 minutes ago by bluevapor (66 rep)
It's Murphy's law with matchmakers - they are always there when you don't need them and never when it would be right convenient. — rackandboneman 1 min ago
#9393 rackandboneman (219 rep) | Q: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 14) | posted 15 hours ago by Imperator (171 rep) | edited 38 minutes ago by henning (3542 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
#9352 Benubird (137 rep) | A: How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play? (score: -2) | posted 2 days ago by Benubird (137 rep)
I'm exactly this kind of person. You cant do anything with it. You just can't resist the urge to develop the topic further and further until every little detail is mentioned and every aspect of the problem is spoken of; you just can't let the issue go unless you explicitly covered all possible viewpoints so that you can back up your words against any offensive statements from every possible and impossible direction. You just can't leave it be unless your original intention is properly described so that even the dummiest dummy understands it with no ambiguity. Just so you know how hard it is :) — user2851843 1 min ago
#9404 user2851843 (311 rep) | Q: Talking with someone who goes on lots of tangents (score: -1) | posted 48 minutes ago by bluevapor (66 rep)
@user2851843 - Please don’t write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by not having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don’t use them for other purposes. — Arwen Undómiel 15 secs ago
#9404 Arwen Undómiel (975 rep) | Q: Talking with someone who goes on lots of tangents (score: -1) | posted 49 minutes ago by bluevapor (66 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
#9394 A.fm. (262 rep) | A: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 15) | posted 15 hours ago by michi (1972 rep) | edited 15 hours ago by michi (1972 rep)
10:39 AM
@RandolphCarter that's just your opinion. The hyperbole is extrapolating from one person's story of post-its and an unplugging of a cable a diagnosis of 'fanaticism' and religion (and one might wonder if their gender played a part in that leap too). Contrasting some minor office passive-aggressive politics with religious fanaticism and such extreme diagnoses only encourage further dysfunctional reactions and behaviour. Case in point is the recommendation to mainly not engage the 'fanatic' and report her to the department of firing. — Danikov 1 min ago
#9264 Danikov (119 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 116) | posted 4 days ago by Randolph Carter (741 rep)
10:50 AM
I can understand how frustrating that would be and I’m sorry you are going through this. I’m not presuming to know a thing only letting you know how it sounded without knowing any backstory. — Janet 26 secs ago
#9318 Janet (349 rep) | A: Refusing gifts from an estranged relative (score: 24) | posted 3 days ago by Janet (349 rep)
11:03 AM
The OP should not bother Mary in this case because he does not know whether she is involved in this (no matter as a passive or active member). Just imagine your friend telling you "I'd like to remain friends", even if she does not intend to develop relationship. Till now this is only between the OP and Bruce — Ivan Gerasimenko 1 min ago
#9395 Ivan Gerasimenko (101 rep) | A: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 5) | posted 16 hours ago by Mick (165 rep) | edited 16 hours ago by Mick (165 rep)
11:22 AM
#9404 bluevapor (71 rep) | Q: Talking with someone who goes on lots of tangents (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by bluevapor (71 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Snow (7320 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
#9404 bluevapor (71 rep) | Q: Talking with someone who goes on lots of tangents (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by bluevapor (71 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Snow (7320 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
#9354 Brondahl (302 rep) | Q: How to address awful smells from the flat above (score: 37) | posted 2 days ago by Brondahl (302 rep) | edited 2 days ago by Brondahl (302 rep)
#9258 Pstr (101 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 138) | posted 4 days ago by AndreiROM (6910 rep)
12:09 PM
#9412 Astralbee (3562 rep) | Q: How to mitigate underperformance as a delegation strategy? (score: 0) | posted 11 minutes ago by Bob Levy (1 rep)
Could you add a location tag? Work-environments and their culture tend to differ depending on where they are. Are there any guidelines at your workplace we need to take into account? If you're not in a position to terminate the individual, what kind of power do you have over them (are you in a position of power of them, or are you an equal teammate that's bothered by their behavior?) — Tinkeringbell just now
#9412 Tinkeringbell (11600 rep) | Q: How to mitigate underperformance as a delegation strategy? (score: 0) | posted 16 minutes ago by Bob Levy (1 rep)
Please clarify if you are their superior or not. Having the authority to tell somebody else how to work is very different to be annoyed at a colleague that leaves everything to you. — Bilkokuya 21 secs ago
#9412 Bilkokuya (101 rep) | Q: How to mitigate underperformance as a delegation strategy? (score: -1) | posted 17 minutes ago by Bob Levy (1 rep)
On a sidenote, I understand the flood of comments can get overwhelming, but there is a good question in there if you can answer our questions :D — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#9412 Tinkeringbell (11600 rep) | Q: How to mitigate underperformance as a delegation strategy? (score: -2) | posted 22 minutes ago by Bob Levy (1 rep)
lol, seems like you brain is in standby mode the whole time when writing with a girl :D Dude, you are the dude, dont wait "for the other party to intiate", but do it yourself! If you are passive your whole life, you wont get "in touch" with many women... In general, women are the ones waiting for initiation, and if both are passive as hell nothing will develop. Sorry, i know its unfair, but thats how it is. The "man" has to initiate — MansNotHot 1 min ago
#9361 MansNotHot (603 rep) | Q: How to react when your flirt gives the same respond like you did (score: 0) | posted 2 days ago by HalilM (7 rep) | edited 2 days ago by Catija (8708 rep)
i must say, i am the same, and i actually like it when another person does that, because (as long as i have no time pressure) i do enjoy listening to people and discussing things :) actually cant imagine why someone would not like to talk and listen when he has the time — MansNotHot 20 secs ago
#9404 MansNotHot (603 rep) | Q: Talking with someone who goes on lots of tangents (score: 1) | posted 3 hours ago by bluevapor (76 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by bluevapor (76 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
1:42 PM
#9394 user2851843 (310 rep) | A: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 15) | posted 19 hours ago by michi (1980 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by michi (1980 rep)
Also, OP can eventually become interested in Mary at some point in the future, so I'd stick with approaches where OP should talk to Alice/Bruce instead. — user2851843 25 secs ago
#9395 user2851843 (310 rep) | A: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 5) | posted 19 hours ago by Mick (173 rep) | edited 18 hours ago by Mick (173 rep)
Answering questions that don't meet our standards encourage users to continue to post sub-par questions because they know that despite the fact that their contributions don't meet the standards, they'll get an answer anyway. Also note that if the answer has a positive score, the question will not be automatically deleted by the roomba. Answering off-topic/low-quality questions encourages low-quality contributions and brings down the quality level of the site. — Arwen Undómiel 15 secs ago
#9417 Arwen Undómiel (978 rep) | A: How to mitigate underperformance as a delegation strategy? (score: -2) | posted 42 minutes ago by baldPrussian (4751 rep)
Answering questions that don't meet our standards encourage users to continue to post sub-par questions because they know that despite the fact that their contributions don't meet the standards, they'll get an answer anyway. Also note that if the answer has a positive score, the question will not be automatically deleted by the roomba. Answering off-topic/low-quality questions encourages low-quality contributions and brings down the quality level of the site. — Arwen Undómiel 13 secs ago
#9415 Arwen Undómiel (978 rep) | A: How to mitigate underperformance as a delegation strategy? (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by Astralbee (3558 rep)
The OP does mention at one point that they can hear "skittering on the floor above and barking", though I suppose these could be explained away by other things if your theory is correct. That said, I think it might be worth adding a sentence on how to deal with this situation assuming you are correct - as it stands, I don't see how this answers the question of what the OP's next steps should be. — BiscuitBaker 57 secs ago
#9418 BiscuitBaker (101 rep) | A: How to address awful smells from the flat above (score: 1) | posted 20 minutes ago by Willem (618 rep)
@A.fm. of course not. It‘s about syncing verbal and nonverbal output in order to get across the message. Involuntarily smiling in conflict is usually automated behavior to placate the other person. Smiling in an interpersonal situation with the intention to set boundaries is one of the single most counterproductive non-verbals. OP is afraid of losing the friend, so I inferred a probability he would unintentionally smile, and thus weaken the effect without being aware. — michi 1 min ago
#9394 michi (1980 rep) | A: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 15) | posted 19 hours ago by michi (1980 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by michi (1980 rep)
Answering questions that don't meet our standards encourages users to continue to post sub-par questions because they know that despite the fact that their contributions don't meet the standards, they'll get an answer anyway. Also note that if the answer has a positive score, the question will not be automatically deleted by the roomba. Answering off-topic/low-quality questions encourages low-quality contributions and brings down the quality level of the site. — Arwen Undómiel 17 secs ago
#9406 Arwen Undómiel (973 rep) | A: Talking with someone who goes on lots of tangents (score: -1) | posted 4 hours ago by Astralbee (3556 rep)
Answering questions that don't meet our standards encourages users to continue to post sub-par questions because they know that despite the fact that their contributions don't meet the standards, they'll get an answer anyway. Also note that if the answer has a positive score, the question will not be automatically deleted by the roomba. Answering off-topic/low-quality questions encourages low-quality contributions and brings down the quality level of the site. — Arwen Undómiel 42 secs ago
#9411 Arwen Undómiel (973 rep) | A: Talking with someone who goes on lots of tangents (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by frailkitten (84 rep)
Answering questions that don't meet our standards encourages users to continue to post sub-par questions because they know that despite the fact that their contributions don't meet the standards, they'll get an answer anyway. Also note that if the answer has a positive score, the question will not be automatically deleted by the roomba. Answering off-topic/low-quality questions encourages low-quality contributions and brings down the quality level of the site. — Arwen Undómiel 1 min ago
#9419 Arwen Undómiel (973 rep) | A: Talking with someone who goes on lots of tangents (score: -1) | posted 8 minutes ago by LinuxBlanket (1566 rep)
Answering questions that don't meet our standards encourages users to continue to post sub-par questions because they know that despite the fact that their contributions don't meet the standards, they'll get an answer anyway. Also note that if the answer has a positive score, the question will not be automatically deleted by the roomba. Answering off-topic/low-quality questions encourages low-quality contributions and brings down the quality level of the site. — Tinkeringbell 31 secs ago
#9409 Tinkeringbell (11593 rep) | A: Talking with someone who goes on lots of tangents (score: -2) | posted 2 hours ago by Stephan Branczyk (1796 rep)
Answering questions that don't meet our standards encourages users to continue to post sub-par questions because they know that despite the fact that their contributions don't meet the standards, they'll get an answer anyway. Also note that if the answer has a positive score, the question will not be automatically deleted by the roomba. Answering off-topic/low-quality questions encourages low-quality contributions and brings down the quality level of the site. — Tinkeringbell 43 secs ago
#9407 Tinkeringbell (11593 rep) | A: Talking with someone who goes on lots of tangents (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by Snow (7326 rep)
My point was more that performing those actions as you described them above would lead an average person to believe the person acting in such a manner was a psychopath. That's because most people would consider the behavior being displayed as regular ole joshing and, nodding and staring into his eyes, etc., will be taken as aggressive (weird, too, but also aggressive) and out of proportion for the situation. — A.fm. 14 secs ago
#9394 A.fm. (261 rep) | A: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 15) | posted 19 hours ago by michi (1980 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by michi (1980 rep)
Honestly, this seems pretty farfetched, and not remotely helpful. If this were somehow the case then it will become obvious from any of the other approaches. — Brondahl 13 secs ago
#9418 Brondahl (306 rep) | A: How to address awful smells from the flat above (score: 1) | posted 41 minutes ago by Willem (626 rep)
2:14 PM
Be careful not to try and micro manage the stack. The content of the questions and answers are far more important than any grammar issues. — IamSoNotListening 1 min ago
#2401 IamSoNotListening (5497 rep) | A: WAS IT WRONG TO ASK: Minimum time for responding to someones answer? (score: 6) | posted 11 hours ago by Catija (8708 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Jarko Dubbeldam (3249 rep)
#9420 Tinkeringbell (11594 rep) | Q: How do I handle my mentally brutalizing, physically torturing, bullying and harassing father? (score: -5) | posted 4 minutes ago by user11500 (1 rep) | edited 42 seconds ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep)
#9420 A.fm. (261 rep) | Q: How do I handle my mentally brutalizing, physically torturing, bullying and harassing father? (score: -5) | posted 4 minutes ago by user11500 (1 rep) | edited 43 seconds ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep)
Have you ever talked to a professional about your relationship with your dad? — Tycho's Nose 1 min ago
#9420 Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | Q: How do I handle my mentally brutalizing, physically torturing, bullying and harassing father? (score: -9) | posted 7 minutes ago by user11500 (1 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep)
This seriously looks like it needs more assistance than we can provide — this question goes beyond the tools we use to interact with other people on a day-to-day basis and requires the assistance of licensed professionals (therapists, physicians, lawyers, etc)... Please contact one :) — Tinkeringbell 22 secs ago
#9420 Tinkeringbell (11594 rep) | Q: How do I handle my mentally brutalizing, physically torturing, bullying and harassing father? (score: -10) | posted 8 minutes ago by user11500 (1 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep)
2:29 PM
@ArwenUndómiel I am speaking in general terms, not just this particular question. — IamSoNotListening 13 secs ago
#2401 IamSoNotListening (5497 rep) | A: WAS IT WRONG TO ASK: Minimum time for responding to someones answer? (score: 7) | posted 12 hours ago by Catija (8708 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Jarko Dubbeldam (3249 rep)
@IamSoNotListening - Sure... as long as the post is understandable despite those errors. If it's so unreadable that we can't tell what it's talking about... that is an issue. — Arwen Undómiel 1 min ago
#2401 Arwen Undómiel (974 rep) | A: WAS IT WRONG TO ASK: Minimum time for responding to someones answer? (score: 7) | posted 12 hours ago by Catija (8708 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Jarko Dubbeldam (3249 rep)
#2401 Catija (8708 rep) | A: WAS IT WRONG TO ASK: Minimum time for responding to someones answer? (score: 7) | posted 12 hours ago by Catija (8708 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Jarko Dubbeldam (3249 rep)
Generally speaking it's appropriate to call authorities when you hear an alarm going off, as such this is a "seek professional help" question rather than an Interpersonal skills question. — apaul 41 secs ago
#9421 apaul (26130 rep) | Q: Hearing burglar alarm of neighboor (score: -1) | posted 8 minutes ago by C.Norris (1 rep)
@BeeBop I get what you are saying, but if you do really like this girl, many women enjoy the courting process. Being direct is great of course, but sometimes if it's done in the wrong way without flirting it could immediately place you in the friend zone. If you are fine with gambling, I suggest you take your route and say it directly. But, a lot of times, a young lady would like to sample the sort of treatment you would give them as a potential girlfriend . I get where you're coming from but since you aren't seeing her daily, other guys may be courting her, which is why I suggested the date. — Newbie programmer 52 secs ago
#9279 Newbie programmer (31 rep) | A: Best way to tell a new friend I'd like to date her (score: 3) | posted 4 days ago by Newbie programmer (31 rep) | edited 4 days ago by Newbie programmer (31 rep)
#9418 Willem (626 rep) | A: How to address awful smells from the flat above (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Willem (626 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Willem (626 rep)
@Catija I am speaking in general terms, not just this particular question. — IamSoNotListening 1 min ago
#2401 IamSoNotListening (5497 rep) | A: WAS IT WRONG TO ASK: Minimum time for responding to someones answer? (score: 7) | posted 12 hours ago by Catija (8708 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Jarko Dubbeldam (3249 rep)
@Arwen Undómiel I answered without noticing the "close" votes, my bad. I'll proceed in deleting it. — LinuxBlanket 38 secs ago
#9419 LinuxBlanket (1564 rep) | A: Talking with someone who goes on lots of tangents (score: -2) | posted 46 minutes ago by LinuxBlanket (1564 rep)
#167 Tyler (101 rep) | A: How to politely decline an opportunity to be involved in a pyramid scheme? (score: 23) | posted 208 days ago by Catija (8708 rep)
Whoop his *()!". (casting my mind back... ... ...) I'd hate it if I thought someone played to less than their abilities. — Strawberry 11 secs ago
#8255 Strawberry (101 rep) | Q: Should I let my wife's little brother win at chess? (score: 0) | posted 34 days ago by Lord Farquaad (590 rep)
@BradleyWilson Looks like you are not the single victim here that parents are being in trouble too and without a wall to separate them from the kid. Next thing to do can be advise them to get professional help. It's hard but maybe the kid is autistic or get some problem must be addressed by a professional. I have an autistic daughter and its can be really hard and exaustive to handle. I'm not saying you to just sit down with hands on ears but maybe your neighbor needs help too — jean 1 min ago
#1538 jean (101 rep) | A: How to politely approach my neighbours about their excessively screaming child? (score: 20) | posted 165 days ago by OldPadawan (7786 rep)
#9355 bigbadmouse (143 rep) | A: How to address awful smells from the flat above (score: 41) | posted 3 days ago by AK_is_curious (1750 rep) | edited 49 hours ago by AK_is_curious (1750 rep)
And if that doesn't work, unplug everything at her desk every time she goes to the bathroom. — Kevin 13 secs ago
#9258 Kevin (362 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 144) | posted 4 days ago by AndreiROM (6970 rep)
The problem is that whatever I am going to answer to that, which is in line with * I feel I'm blessed with greater success than some of my friends' * does not justify a trumping. That's why I say that the question is not well-formulated. — Noldor130884 1 min ago
#9340 Noldor130884 (198 rep) | A: How can I get someone to stop paying for my meal? (score: 0) | posted 3 days ago by Noldor130884 (198 rep)
+1 prospective buyers should ideally be animal lovers you really don't want neighbors freaking out every time your dogs barks — jean 45 secs ago
#4680 jean (101 rep) | A: Do we need good fences to make good neighbors? (score: 45) | posted 116 days ago by (deleted user) | edited 115 days ago by (deleted user)
3:09 PM
#2401 Catija (8718 rep) | A: WAS IT WRONG TO ASK: Minimum time for responding to someones answer? (score: 7) | posted 12 hours ago by Catija (8718 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by Jarko Dubbeldam (3249 rep)
#9312 J... (101 rep) | A: How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play? (score: 102) | posted 3 days ago by Jess K. (6959 rep)
If turning the power off by unplugging is not identical to turning the power off with a switch, then the off button is probably not saving ANY power at all. I think you're overreacting. — mjaggard 54 secs ago
#9255 mjaggard (101 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 99) | posted 5 days ago by Cashbee (1618 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
#9255 Arwen Undómiel (975 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 99) | posted 5 days ago by Cashbee (1618 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
I think the OP is lying. There's no chance that turning the power off at the wall could do anything different to turning the power off on the monitor. Unless of course the "off" button doesn't actually turn it off, in which case the point is moot anyway. — mjaggard 17 secs ago
#9274 mjaggard (101 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 41) | posted 4 days ago by Jess K. (6959 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by NVZ (8339 rep)
#9255 mjaggard (101 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 99) | posted 5 days ago by Cashbee (1618 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
@A.fm. Of course, doing it in an exaggerated manner instead of subtly nodding etc. could rather have strange effects. So do it subtly. — michi 31 secs ago
#9394 michi (2000 rep) | A: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 17) | posted 21 hours ago by michi (2000 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by michi (2000 rep)
I would disconnect her monitor and everything on her PC whenever I leave the working place. — dgrat 6 secs ago
#9255 dgrat (151 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 99) | posted 5 days ago by Cashbee (1618 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
@mjaggard Accusing someone of lying with no evidence is pretty severe. When you turn your monitor off with the power button, is there a light still on? I think most modern monitors do so it's not the same as unplugging. OP's point was that in that standby mode there's such a minimal amount of power drawn per year that's it's kinda to the point of being silly to fuss about it. — JeffC 35 secs ago
#9274 JeffC (237 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 41) | posted 4 days ago by Jess K. (6959 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by NVZ (8339 rep)
@mjaggard We don't know OP's setup but it's a little "out there" to claim they're lying. At my workplace, our laptops are docked and the dock hooks into our dual monitors. Whenever I undock my laptop for a meeting, it's commonplace that I spend about 3 minutes trying to get the monitors to correctly reconfigure when I re-dock the laptop. Hardware doesn't always behave how we wish it to. — Jess K. 1 min ago
#9274 Jess K. (6959 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 41) | posted 4 days ago by Jess K. (6959 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by NVZ (8339 rep)
Then Anne goes to HR or OP's boss and states that OP rudely interrupted my conversation with a client and embarrassed the company with his behavior. Now the OP gets to deal with the repercussions of his actions. Confronting like this generally leads to trouble on your part. Get management involved and let them sort out how important pennies a year is vs OP losing several minutes of his day because some fanatic employee decided to alter his workstation. My guess is management has already dealt with her and have handled situations like this before. — JeffC 1 min ago
#9303 JeffC (237 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 20) | posted 4 days ago by Pieter B (476 rep) | edited 4 days ago by Pieter B (476 rep)
#9303 Pieter B (476 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 20) | posted 4 days ago by Pieter B (476 rep) | edited 4 days ago by Pieter B (476 rep)
You've lost me. All I want is to understand why you would rather argue with your friends than accept that they may also feel blessed (if to a lesser extent by your standards) and wish to share that with you. If you feel it is justifiable to insist, could you tel me why it is. — Spagirl 36 secs ago
#9340 Spagirl (2230 rep) | A: How can I get someone to stop paying for my meal? (score: 0) | posted 3 days ago by Noldor130884 (198 rep)
Adding to @JanusBahsJacquet comment: The situation also seems very unstable. What if Ray's health deteriorates in a way that he cannot assist the lady anymore? What would happen to her and her dog in that case? How would neighbors know she needs help? Either she is somehow known to some welfare service of a kind, or she should be, for her own safety. — skymningen 18 secs ago
#9366 skymningen (171 rep) | A: How to address awful smells from the flat above (score: 48) | posted 3 days ago by apaul (26160 rep)
#9422 Anne Daunted (7982 rep) | Q: Dealing with a friend who takes everything seriously (score: 0) | posted 7 minutes ago by ThatOtherGuy (101 rep)
#9422 Arwen Undómiel (975 rep) | Q: Dealing with a friend who takes everything seriously (score: 0) | posted 8 minutes ago by ThatOtherGuy (101 rep)
#9255 Cashbee (1618 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 99) | posted 5 days ago by Cashbee (1618 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
All I can say is "thank god you aren't my friend". I would advise your best friend to drop you; and I would advise you to butt out of people's lives. — Martin Bonner 51 secs ago
#9400 Martin Bonner (101 rep) | A: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 5) | posted 17 hours ago by kingW3 (664 rep)
#9255 AytAyt (131 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 99) | posted 5 days ago by Cashbee (1618 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
#9255 AytAyt (131 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 99) | posted 5 days ago by Cashbee (1618 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
@AytAyt no, I have not yet forgotten to turn my monitor off since the incident, therefore Anne had no opportunity to give me something to update about. I will delete this and my last comment in a minute, please do the same (the mods are having a hard time removing all unnecessary comments here, let's help them a bit) — Cashbee 29 secs ago
#9255 Cashbee (1618 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 99) | posted 5 days ago by Cashbee (1618 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
Sorry to be an American blowing in on a convo between Brits like the Cool-Aid man, but I've never seen this use of "surgery" before. I found a Wikipedia link explaining the practice. I think in the US we'd try to do the same thing by calling a representative's local office. — T.E.D. 58 secs ago
#9359 T.E.D. (552 rep) | A: How to address awful smells from the flat above (score: 28) | posted 3 days ago by Spagirl (2240 rep) | edited 3 days ago by Spagirl (2240 rep)
#9422 Em C (4879 rep) | Q: Dealing with a friend who takes everything seriously (score: 0) | posted 27 minutes ago by ThatOtherGuy (104 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by ThatOtherGuy (104 rep)
#9422 ThatOtherGuy (104 rep) | Q: Dealing with a friend who takes everything seriously (score: 0) | posted 30 minutes ago by ThatOtherGuy (104 rep) | edited 55 seconds ago by ThatOtherGuy (104 rep)
4:30 PM
It's maybe worth noting that we have no shortage of users who fix grammar, correct spelling or improve formatting, as long as we understand, what the respective user wants to express. That's how we deal with these issues (in general) here, not by downvoting and closing. — Anne Daunted 1 min ago
#2401 Anne Daunted (7982 rep) | A: WAS IT WRONG TO ASK: Minimum time for responding to someones answer? (score: 7) | posted 14 hours ago by Catija (8718 rep) | edited 8 hours ago by Jarko Dubbeldam (3249 rep)
Unfortunately, this question appears to be asking “What should I do?”, which the community has determined to not be a good fit for Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange. We can’t decide for you what to do; after you determine what you want to do, we can help you with your goal, but we can’t make these decisions for you. Sorry. — Arwen Undómiel 1 min ago
#9423 Arwen Undómiel (975 rep) | Q: Not looking rude with a "death anniversary" (score: -2) | posted 6 minutes ago by Yassine Badache (97 rep)
Okay, I didn't know about the "What should I do" problem. I'll delete, thanks. — Yassine Badache just now
#9423 Yassine Badache (97 rep) | Q: Not looking rude with a "death anniversary" (score: -2) | posted 7 minutes ago by Yassine Badache (97 rep)
He wasn't always this way, this started about a year ago. Did you already try to find out what caused his change in behavior? — Anne Daunted 1 min ago
#9422 Anne Daunted (7982 rep) | Q: Dealing with a friend who takes everything seriously (score: 0) | posted 43 minutes ago by ThatOtherGuy (104 rep) | edited 13 minutes ago by ThatOtherGuy (104 rep)
This question still seems very broad and asking for us to generate a list of ideas. Can you focus on one particular aspect for this question? Anne's comment has some good examples of how to narrow it down. What do you mean by "support"? Has she asked for support in particular areas, or have you asked her directly how you can help? — Em C 9 secs ago
#9148 Em C (4879 rep) | Q: How do I support my partner's return to her career after a five-year child raising hiatus? (score: 0) | posted 8 days ago by Hertz (489 rep) | edited 24 hours ago by Hertz (489 rep)
@Cashbee i agree we should delete our comments and you should edit your other comments into the question, please — AytAyt 41 secs ago
#9255 AytAyt (131 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 99) | posted 5 days ago by Cashbee (1618 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
@AytAyt which comments in particular are you talking about? I don't think any edit to the Q is needed here. — Cashbee 10 secs ago
#9255 Cashbee (1623 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 100) | posted 5 days ago by Cashbee (1623 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
@Catija I think I'm just used to moderators of SO who seem to be more lenient with comments. I'm surprised that moderation of comments on interpersonal is more strict than on SO; kinda ironic. — Greg Schmit 1 min ago
#9255 Greg Schmit (101 rep) | Q: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 100) | posted 5 days ago by Cashbee (1623 rep) | edited 20 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (5111 rep) | @Mithrandir (has magic comment)
@Martin Bonner Quite close minded of you, having a friend that pushes you over the limit is a blessing in disguise, I wouldn't be where I am if he didn't push me to do things I wasn't comfortable doing, same applies to him, a lot of times me setting him up with someone saved him of anxiety. My advice, you should know ehat your best friend wants regardless of what he says but how he feels deep inside and you should help him achieve that. — kingW3 1 min ago
#9400 kingW3 (664 rep) | A: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 5) | posted 17 hours ago by kingW3 (664 rep)
@AnneDaunted, I can't think of a reason. He changed gradually, not overnight. My best guess is that he decided to be more confident (or something similar) and went too far. I never tried to ask him why he behaves this way if that's what you mean. — ThatOtherGuy 1 min ago
#9422 ThatOtherGuy (104 rep) | Q: Dealing with a friend who takes everything seriously (score: 0) | posted 59 minutes ago by ThatOtherGuy (104 rep) | edited 24 seconds ago by ThatOtherGuy (104 rep)
What you've described is not more confident behavior. Rather it appears to be a decrease in confidence. — Dan Anderson 17 secs ago
#9422 Dan Anderson (2982 rep) | Q: Dealing with a friend who takes everything seriously (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by ThatOtherGuy (109 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by ThatOtherGuy (109 rep)
IMO this is incredibly impersonal, and doesn't allow for any other scenario. If Mary is the one asking Alice (through Bruce) to help her, you've just put them into the situation of having to say any variation of "He's not interested, he doesn't like you, etc." or lead to alienating your friends. Taking a gentler approach would work much better; this seems overly unemotional for an emotional issue. Who the hell cares what some study says when talking about emotions anyway? — Anoplexian 1 min ago
#9394 Anoplexian (1385 rep) | A: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 17) | posted 22 hours ago by michi (2008 rep) | edited 22 hours ago by michi (2008 rep)
It might be helpful to link to one or more of the studies you mention. (I believe you; it would be nice to see more documentation in answers on this site, especially when they are based on more than just a gut feeling and even more especially when they are based on evidence that might contradict other folks' gut instincts.) — 1006a 1 min ago
#9394 1006a (689 rep) | A: Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend (score: 17) | posted 22 hours ago by michi (2008 rep) | edited 22 hours ago by michi (2008 rep)
#9426 Anne Daunted (7982 rep) | Q: How to tell a friend that his indifference is hurting my feelings? (score: 1) | posted 10 minutes ago by Garcia_K (6 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by Anne Daunted (7982 rep)
Unfortunately the outcome does not depend on you - like any other relationship. The best you can do is to be honest about your feelings but remember that If he is in love it may be painful to be around you so give him time. You are all very young - at this age my hormones were in command, not my brain. — Paulo Scardine 1 min ago
#9426 Paulo Scardine (131 rep) | Q: How to tell a friend that his indifference is hurting my feelings? (score: 1) | posted 13 minutes ago by Garcia_K (6 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by Anne Daunted (7982 rep)
Please don’t write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by not having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don’t use them for other purposes. — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#9426 Tinkeringbell (11595 rep) | Q: How to tell a friend that his indifference is hurting my feelings? (score: 1) | posted 18 minutes ago by Garcia_K (6 rep) | edited 11 minutes ago by Anne Daunted (7982 rep)
5:27 PM
Yes, we are on a common voice chat server with other friends, and I'm pretty shure I could talk to him over there since he doesn't avoid contact with me, just plainly ignores my existence. And I'm pretty shure he'll read the messages eventually. — Garcia_K 54 secs ago
#9426 Garcia_K (11 rep) | Q: How to tell a friend that his indifference is hurting my feelings? (score: 2) | posted 31 minutes ago by Garcia_K (11 rep) | edited 24 minutes ago by Anne Daunted (7982 rep)
5:42 PM
Why on Earth would you compromise in this situation? Someone is touching your personal belongings over their personal belief. A belief which is arguably minute but certainly not an excuse to interfere with another person's agency either way. I would be hard pressed to come up with an argument that puts a minute personal belief over an individual's right to control their property and space. — KthProg 1 min ago
#9274 KthProg (101 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 41) | posted 4 days ago by Jess K. (6989 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by NVZ (8339 rep)
I have to completely disagree with @Danikov here. The reaction and actions of the person involved could be rightly called fanatical. You are well within ethical boundaries if you ask someone to do what you want. You are an unethical person if you put your beliefs over someone else's personal freedoms and right to their property. I can't imagine an argument that would successfully convince anyone otherwise. — KthProg 8 secs ago
#9264 KthProg (101 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 117) | posted 5 days ago by Randolph Carter (751 rep)
Questions asking what you should or should not do are primarily opinion-based and off-topic on IPS.SE. We can't tell you what you should do, but help you finding ways how to do it. Apart from that, do they actually treat you differently or did you notice something strange about their behavior towards your girlfriend? Was the situation at get-togethers actually awkward, or just for you because you didn't know what they thought/knew? Maybe they don't really care. — Anne Daunted 37 secs ago
#9433 Anne Daunted (7982 rep) | Q: How to address my family and tell them that my current girlfriend is NOT my cousin's ex-girlfriend? (score: 0) | posted 7 minutes ago by Timothy Fisher (1 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Timothy Fisher (1 rep)
@KthProg It's the company's property and space - not yours. You are in a workplace and need to behave as such. If OP is so angry that he isn't willing to somewhat compromise for something he has otherwise indicated he would try to do for someone else's personal beliefs, he should be utilizing a resource such as his manager to help make a statement - not himself. If this individual was discussing a space and property that was privately owned by himself he'd have a lot more authority to say and do whatever he wanted in retaliation. — Jess K. 23 secs ago
#9274 Jess K. (6989 rep) | A: How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off? (score: 41) | posted 4 days ago by Jess K. (6989 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by NVZ (8339 rep)
I wouldn't like to talk about that on a group call either, I'm an admin on that server so I could "kidnapp him" from the group call to a private one, or even better talk to the rest of our friends and ask them to leave us alone for a second. Thanks for answering! — Garcia_K 22 secs ago
#9431 Garcia_K (16 rep) | A: How to tell a friend that his indifference is hurting my feelings? (score: 1) | posted 19 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (11605 rep) | edited 14 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (11605 rep)
I also thought about him deciding to take a break from the friendship, it's just that I'm an overthinker so I went nuts with the theories on my head, I think I'll give him the time he needs to heal. Thanks for answering! — Garcia_K 29 secs ago
#9427 Garcia_K (16 rep) | A: How to tell a friend that his indifference is hurting my feelings? (score: 0) | posted 37 minutes ago by Markino (2551 rep) | edited 26 minutes ago by Markino (2551 rep)
I kinda knew something like this would happen eventually, it just hit me hard that it was so abruptly and without consideration. Thanks for answering! — Garcia_K 38 secs ago
#9428 Garcia_K (16 rep) | A: How to tell a friend that his indifference is hurting my feelings? (score: 0) | posted 36 minutes ago by Dan Anderson (3012 rep)
There have been a few awkward jokes made about us that have been blatantly obvious. We've usually just blown them off. It's totally possible that my cousin's parents do not care. However he's spreading false information that this girl is his ex-girlfriend, and I don't really know what anyone thinks about it. Perhaps I can re-think and/or re-phrase my question. — Timothy Fisher 1 min ago
#9433 Timothy Fisher (1 rep) | Q: How to address my family and tell them that my current girlfriend is NOT my cousin's ex-girlfriend? (score: -3) | posted 14 minutes ago by Timothy Fisher (1 rep) | edited 8 minutes ago by Timothy Fisher (1 rep)
Did you talk to him about it after you started dating his "ex-girlfriend" also? There's also the possibility that they may start to think less of him, not of you and your girlfriend, if he is really doing what you are suspecting. — Anne Daunted 1 min ago
#9433 Anne Daunted (7982 rep) | Q: How to address my family and tell them that my current girlfriend is NOT my cousin's ex-girlfriend? (score: -3) | posted 19 minutes ago by Timothy Fisher (1 rep) | edited 13 minutes ago by Timothy Fisher (1 rep)
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