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12:06 AM
@ExtrovertedMainMan I'm conflicted about what to do with you.
 
1:02 AM
@SQB I'm a runner up with another candidate - if they call up any more mods after the election - I'll be called up :) It also holed me in good stead to be elected in the next election. I'm pretty happy
I've changed the name and avatar of our question feed for the main site - let me know what you think.
I don't understand why the avatar is not showing in chat - maybe it takes time for the new pic to show
@Catija I've changed the name and image
 
1:18 AM
@YvetteColomb ಠ_ಠ
 
@Zizouz212 who created the extroverted main man?
 
Yours truly.
 
Yeh I thought so
I think it's too much men
 
Extroverted Main Woman?
 
we can take it to meta if people don't like The Question Mark
 
1:19 AM
Oh no I don't mind
 
I think that's quite clever - it marks where the questions are
 
(and it's a really minor thing anyway)
 
I don't know why the image isn't showing in chat
is it showing for you?
 
Try refreshing
 
@Zizouz212 yeh I have.
 
1:20 AM
It should work - it's serving over https
 
can you see it?
 
It's showing for me
 
hm ok
 
Is it still not working for you?
 
1:23 AM
That's weird. When in doubt, blame caching
 
I've changed a pic in another chat room - we lost it for some reason and it's showing in there
yep indeed
 
@YvetteColomb why?
I thought they were great names.
They actually related to IPS.
 
@Catija I thought it was too much men tbh
 
...
Two bots is too many men? They're inanimate... why not just make one of them "woman" rather than changing them entirely?
 
1:38 AM
@Catija I think the men and meta and main created an alliteration that was catchy
I think the question mark is quite clever actually
 
How?
 
25 mins ago, by Yvette Colomb
I think that's quite clever - it marks where the questions are
If you don't like it - we can change it - or even take it to meta
 
1:54 AM
I think it would have been nice if you had taken it to meta before changing them.
 
1
Q: Globalisation and intersubjective communication

NahiriWe live in a global society and it seems the proverb 'when in Rome' applies less and less. International organisations (be it a software company or automobile manufacturers) put in a great effort to shape rules and norms acceptable for all the participants, from different backgrounds. Be a person...

 
2:53 AM
A @Shog walked through the door...
 
51
Q: Stack Overflow has too many men!

JSONBogWhen I take a look at the Stack Overflow user list I see a certain trend. Jon Marc Greg Alex Andrew Jonathan Tomalak Brian Ólafur Juliet I think you see where I'm going with this. There simply aren't enough spider-men or bat-men or other variations of more-than-men. ...

I see this room has bucked the trend with... Question Man!
 
0
Q: how to help a person who is doubtful, to choose between family and future in america, and don't know what type of life suits him the most?

parvinThere is a friend of mine. he has planned to move to Usa for study which is gonna take 5 years. He is doubtful though, whether he is gonna have a good life being far from family(it's not easy at all, some how impossible, to go for a visit or come back for a visit, due to the visa issues) to aim ...

 
... And he left :/
 
3:22 AM
@Shog9 Drive by Shogging.
2
 
0
Q: How to stop people from aligning their opinions with mine?

Nathan WoodI have noticed that when talking to people, they state their opinion on something, and then I state mine, and then they agree with me even if it contradicts what they originally said. Is this something everybody does? How do I politely ask people to preserve their initial ideas?

-1
Q: How can I politely avoid answering questions on which university I attended?

Canada - Area 51 ProposalWithout evading the question (e.g. by abruptly changing to another topic) or directly refusing (e.g. 'Sorry, but I don't wish to answer.' or 'This is a personal question.') that would seem strange because this question is common, how can I politely avoid answering? One reason: I don't believe ...

 
So, apparently some contingent of the userbase here doesn't want to have help center text.
 
My "let's write help center topics" question is sitting at 0 with three upvotes and three down.
 
3:39 AM
I'm seeing +4/-3 :P
 
All right then! Now we're cooking!
 
Yeah, not sure why people would down vote.
 
Thanks for the comment. We'll see if anyone responds... though they usually don't.
 
The votes are kind of quiet around here. They'll do, never speak.
 
3:57 AM
That comment has two up votes... But nobody realizes it's not pointing to the right thing!!! Wlaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
 
@Zizouz212 HA HA HA HA
Oops
 
I clicked one of them... And wondering if I'm clicking the right one...
And then I realized they are both pointing to the same thing -_-
 
Probably from people who have already read the related posts.
 
Yeah maybe
I was so confused when that was happening though :P
 
@Zizouz212 hey
I mean hi
 
4:09 AM
@parvin Hey :)
 
shall we discuss the question you were about to answer in here? guess it's a better and freer place to discuss
0
Q: how to help a person who is doubtful, to choose between family and future in america, and don't know what type of life suits him the most?

parvinThere is a friend of mine. he has planned to move to Usa for study which is gonna take 5 years. He is doubtful though, whether he is gonna have a good life being far from family(it's not easy at all, some how impossible, to go for a visit or come back for a visit, due to the visa issues) to aim ...

 
If you'd like
 
yes that's better I guess
 
It would probably be better too - I'm having a surprisingly difficult time writing an answer for that question :)
Just to clarify very quickly though, when is your friend planning on going? Is he planning on going for next year, or some other time?
 
I know it's not a think to mention here, but it'd be a great help if I could marry him and leave here with him but I can't cuz being accepted in an american university is a big big goal, not my thing. takes a life long to do that!
yes that would be next year or 2 years from now
2 years I guess.
 
4:13 AM
So it's just something that he wants to do right now, but he's not certain?
 
he always wanted. the thing is that he has gone to europe for a summer school and he's experiencing a sample of what he's gonna have in future
an EASIER one
so he's afraid and doubtful
 
That must have been an amazing experience!
But being afraid and doubtful is very natural. That's because you don't know what's going to happen
 
not so much. he's depressed and under pressure. but yes for his professional career it was amazing (is amazing)
he does know some how. he knows that he's not gonna be able to visit so often
 
I think more that he's taking a big step in his life, so it's going to be a different environment
 
he says if he wanna come for a visit, he'll have to come, then after visiting go to a foreign country to europe (visa required and visa takes 1 mount) wait for 2-3 weeks to get a visa for us
so that's a nightmare and people won't do it
 
4:17 AM
I wonder if this wouldn't be a better question for Expats? I know absolutely nothing about the site but it seems well suited to this. I wonder if they have any guidance about this sort of quesiton.
 
@Catija Not so much - think of it as long-term travel
But that's also from my limited experience
 
what he's doubting about is that he don't know if he's gonna be happier having family close and friends and an easier life with trips and lots of cool experiences as there is alot in europe
 
H1Bs are on topic and they're seasonal worker visas, right?
 
or he's gonna be satisfied not having those experiences and family and a soulmate, but reaching a big goal
 
It seems there is some anxiety over whether he is making the right decision - is it better to move out, or to stay with family? Am I kind of right?
 
4:20 AM
So is your "friend" your "boyfriend"? If you're in a relationship that probably changes things...
 
@Catija maybe ! thanks for that. i'll give it a try
yes he's my boyfriend
you know some days ago we where thinking of marriage but it's obvious if there's an issue, sticking together won't solve the issue.
why do you say it changes things if he's boyfriend?
@Zizouz212 you are right.
 
Because people are more likely to change their minds for someone they love as a partner than as a friend... or at least that's how things are in the US.
 
who is likely to change his mind me or him?
 
It also means that he has additional ties. If he only had friends and family to consider, that's different than friends and family and a possible spouse.
 
i don't get what you mean
aha
i see
 
4:23 AM
I think what Catija is trying to say is that you are closer together, so it will change your outlook on things
 
... I went to university late... I was in a relationship with my now-husband... I had the opportunity to spend six months in another state but decided not to because I didn't want to be away from him for that long period of time. That was only six months and I knew it was temporary. This is possibly five years and potentially he won't ever return. I also didn't have to deal with visa issues.
 
changes mine, but not his. he is more anxious about not being able to have close people in future, as he said: "not having a person at home to talk at night and feel calm or one to care about"
 
Awe
 
A J
Mornin'
 
So what do you want him to do? What do you think he should do?
Hey @AJ
 
A J
4:26 AM
Wassup?
 
Helpin' parvin with boy issues.
 
@AJ lol nothing really? You?
 
:P
 
A J
@Catija Oh
@Zizouz212 nothing much
going to work
 
@parvin If he does decide to come to the US (or Canada!), I can definitely tell you that there are support systems to make sure that they will be okay. Coming here can open up economic opportunities, but it could also, like you're saying, distance him from family.
 
4:32 AM
catija, I guess i've started to change this to a ... what do they say it in english? Confabulate maybe! lol! but i really need some help with this..
what I suggested was keeping in touch until he finishes studying and then we could go back together. I'd definitely do that but he says it's hard for him to tolerate that 5 years and it's not just me, it's mom and dad too.
what I'd suggest US is what I said above. considering his personality, I'd tell him to go and just let go of every thing he has in here and try to make a new life. then if in the middle he found an opportunity to rejoin me or
but, there are some other issues in my point of view, issue of "changes" in personality and life. he's going to a different world, we are staying in a different world. we start to become different and become less close, I mean it's not just the blood or emotional bounds that makes a relationship(even with parents) it's also common daily stuff
if he has different stuff to deal with we won't be able to understand him properly and same goes with him then we loose interest in both sides.
so , as I see this, there is no way for him to "come back" and have same life he had before with us. or see the same people he knew before. we both change.
he has to either take them or leave them
that's why I am asking for solutions. I see no way out of "leaving" him and I don't want, neither does he.
 
If you marry before he leaves, can he add you to his visa? Then you will be with him and you will change together - for better or worse
 
I know people living in far east or europe but life in these countries are so different from life in USA. that's a whole new world. a fast changing one.
yes he can
but if I go there and can't study, then what? he starts to become better and better every day and I am the same, he losses interest in me !
how ever I hope things are not as restrict and hard as I predict...
@Catija .
 
Would you consider that? There's so much technology today - keeping in touch with family can be pretty easy and inexpensive in a way that it wasn't decades ago. That usually suffices for parents (depending on how close your relationship is with your parents)... but with spouses, not so much.
 
@Zizouz212 I see. that's a good news for him !
 
I actually live in Canada, and I'm going to be going to university this year actually. At most universities, there will often be support systems for international students, and you will always find clubs and groups where he will be able to find people from Iran as well - which is good because it will help him hold onto his culture.
 
4:43 AM
@parvin Bah. He may like you uneducated :P... really, really a joke. As long as you don't stay cooped up in your home all day, you will grow and learn, too. Relationships... are tricky. One thing I know is that you can expect your partner not to change but you can't expect to stay the same. - Yes, that contradicts itself.
 
@Catija yes, even now it's one month and half he has left to europe, it's like I have nothing to tell him via phone calls or facetime. it doesn't give me the same feeling.
 
I can't speak for the US, but I know that here in Canada, holding onto your culture and values is very normal
 
@Zizouz212 that's good! i'll tell him about it
 
I'll tell you one thing - you are very supportive of him and you obviously want the best for him. That's very admirable.
 
@parvin That depends on the person, though... if you make an effort to do more than just the "everyday" things, you will have something to tell him about... read books together and talk about them... watch a TV show/movie at the same time and talk about it afterwards... you don't have to be in the same place to talk, you just have to work harder at it.
 
4:45 AM
I see...
I think he's taking it so serious as he always takes every thing serious and make a monster out of it
I think life is so damn flexible
 
How old are you?
about... you don't have to be exact if you don't want to.
 
but I'm not so sure. that's why I cant tell him for sure that life shows you opportunities you never expect to see.
we are both 21.
it's okay
 
Evening all
 
@parvin Oh most definitely. You have to make the most of what you get.
 
I hesitate to give much advice because I feel that your culture is quite different from mine. I dated my husband for 8 years before we were married... and we got married when I was 33... I'm a big fan of marrying someone you have lived with for a year at least and growing up a bit before doing so... I actually agree that you may not necessarily be a perfect match in 10 years, regardless of whether he goes away for five years or not...
And if you do marry him and you have five really good years together, even if you don't like each other after that time, you still had five years together... ending a relationship doesn't mean that the time you spent together was a waste.
@PeterJ.Mello Hi! :D
Sorry... I'm getting a bit long winded... it's nearly midnight and I should probably go to bed.
 
4:52 AM
thank you catija
I understand that
good night !
 
I think if I were to recommend anything, I would say just to be open about anything. Make sure that you understand each other.
It's a little bit difficult for Catija and I to give you lots of advice, but feel free to come back if you want to talk more :)
 
I've only interacted with one other person from Iran... a teenager. I wonder what he'd think about all this.
 
thank you both it's so good to talk as I can't talk about this much with my friends and family
catija there are so many people having such problems as there are so so many people want to immigrate or go for study
guess he's too young for that but soon he's face similar things
unfortunately
so many people in IRAN i mean *
 
5:38 AM
@Shog9 exactly!
@Shog9 you mean The Question Mark?
@Catija that's hilarious!
 
 
3 hours later…
8:29 AM
0
Q: How to deal with high tempered and angry people

Code LღverRecently I faced a problem, My colleague is high tempered and we were discussing something on some topic. Suddenly he started shouting after that I realize that whatever I was explaining, he is unable to understand. I started to explain it again in different way with example. Still his behavior ...

 
 
3 hours later…
11:14 AM
1
Q: How to respond to trivial, obvious questions?

JETMSometimes, for example, when I'm the only one in the room waiting for a meeting to start the project manager will come in and say "You're the only one here?" I don't think she means this literally, because she is very smart. I don't know how else to interpret the question though. What is the pro...

 
 
4 hours later…
3:00 PM
Hello people! Hope you've gotten a bit better at conversations in tricky situations!
 
0
Q: How can I politely make an offer on a used vehicle?

lpassadoreThis is the first time I buy a vehicle on my own, so I have no experience in this matter. Today I will be meeting someone who is selling their motorbike. I think he is asking too much for it so I want to make a reasonable offer without offending him. What is the best way to do it?

 
3:45 PM
0
Q: Stuttering in excited situations

heatherThis doesn't happen often, but occasionally, when I get really excited about something, when I try to talk, I trip up on my words, stutter a bit, and what-not. I'm not even really sure why it happens, and it doesn't happen super often. For example, once I got really excited about a physics book ...

 
4:00 PM
@Hamlet - Actually it has been the SE policy in the past that good questions that fall squarely in the wheelhouse of a more specific SE site should be migrated assuming that site wants them. I have yet to see any statement from an SE admin that contradicts that. — Chad 1 hour ago
Like what?
 
4:31 PM
@Avantgarde lol
 
4:46 PM
@Hamlet Dealt with.
 
5:42 PM
0
Q: How to console grandmother who is sick because of age?

VylixI never thought I would ask this here, but I really don't know what to say to my grandmother right now. This year, she's been admitted to hospital several times. Most of these because of seemingly trivial symptoms, but mostly digestive issues - nausea, diarrhea, and such. She's in her 80s. Just...

 
Afternoon all
 
Howdy
 
6:12 PM
1
Q: How to break bad news about the death of a family member to the family?

VylixThis is my other question, and you can find the background of this question there. When my grandmother was admitted to hospital, we (the whole family in town) are taking turns staying at the hospital. However, my biggest fear is when her health is failing to critical condition, or even worse, dy...

 
6:40 PM
hi
 
Greetings @Yvette :)
 
NVZ
@TheQuestionMark What have you done? Where's main man, you sick bot! Did you kill him?
 
6:55 PM
At least I'm not the only one.
 
@Zizouz212 :)
@NVZ I did :)
 
 
2 hours later…
8:58 PM
0
Q: How can I tell someone to do a task when telling them makes them less likely to do it?

AnoplexianI have a bit of a problem with my girlfriend, in that things aren't getting done because she is forgetful about things she doesn't like to do. We've had many discussions on the topic, and we both agree these are things that need to be done, and she agrees that she needs to do them. I do my part t...

 
 
2 hours later…
10:54 PM
37 days without mods... Awkwardly surviving with chatter and silence at random points along the way...
 
11:30 PM
@Zizouz212 there will be mods soon enough
 
Hopefully
How's your day been though?
 

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