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12:12 AM
Indeed.
 
12:28 AM
@HDE226868 I agree actually. I've only been in one other private beta. But this needs some real discussion
@curiousdannii yes people are editing and not really adding much in terms of details
 
@YvetteColomb It would definitely be good to get input from those who have dealt with it before (e.g. Parenting and The Workplace).
Cross-site user pollination would be nice.
 
there is a uniqueness about this site
Parenting.se is a little similar - in that it's asking for advice more or less
 
Hey. So what do people usually talk about here?
 
the site
and we get to know each other
@Avantgarde the main issue we are thrashing out as a new site is scope
 
2
Q: Isolating the problem

10 RepliesMost interpersonal situations are different and have little details that could change everything about the answers. I'm not sure whether questions should add paragraphs of detail to help the user, or, to be more open in attempt to help future users. For example, on the site in which I have the ...

0
Q: Should we tag questions based on age?

HDE 226868I created the young-adults tag for this question because it seems like the answers to a more general question could be different for different age groups, and this clearly pertained to teenagers. I think that there are similar cases where such categorization could be useful, such as in questions ...

 
12:47 AM
Hey, who named the chat bot?
I like it.
 
Not sure but I think it's Zizouz212.
Note: I think so I don't know so.
 
@Zizouz212 Was it you?
 
Any ideas on my meta post?
(the latest one)
 
I upvoted but am still thinking about a solution.
You're absolutely right; we have to decide who the question should be for: the user or the community.
And we definitely need just the right amount of details.
 
I think I'll give the post a more fitting title. Not sure if I like the one I gave it.
 
12:51 AM
I personally feel like we haven't had enough details - and frankly, I did a crappy job of that on my second question, so I'm not just talking about others - but it might be right if we want a question to benefit a bunch of people.
 
@YvetteColomb I see. Thank you :)
 
@10Replies I'm the same as @HDE226868 > I upvoted but am still thinking about a solution.
@10Replies the title is perfect
 
I guess I'll keep it then
 
@HDE226868 I agree - re the details not your posts
 
10
Q: How to deal with meeting an online friend in real life for the first time?

Crafter0800In a few weeks time a friend from the Netherlands is coming over to spend a week with me in the UK. She is female (and I am male), we are both the same age, and are friends (there's nothing special between us). We have known each other for nearly a year now, and I am nervous as to how to handle m...

WHAT...
Why the CVs here
This is what puzzles me
"Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question."
You can't not ask multiple questions at once in these situations
If we are going to cater to the individual user, having them separate their problems into 3 or 4 different ones seems unintelligent.
Make it relevant to others

We like to help as many people at a time as we can. Make it clear how your question is relevant to more people than just you, and more of us will be interested in your question and willing to look into it.
for reference^
 
1:11 AM
@10Replies this is where we need to thrash out scope
 
I don't think thrash is an aggressive enough verb to describe what we are doing to this scope.
 
lol
I'm so glad you keep trying with it. It's quite a large issue to deal with (another understatement) and it's one we need multiple peoples to put energy into. Many hands make light work and all that.
 
2:05 AM
@10Replies I think the reason we want a single question at once is that, theoretically, we want a single accepted answer for most posts; if you ask two questions, you might get one answer that responds to the first and another that responds to the second. SE doesn't work with multiple questions. I suspect we will end up allowing for looser, less specific questions than other SEs, though.
 
I freely acknowledge that it will be a lot harder to do in this subject than in most others on SE, but keeping post to one question is rather important to the SE goals and how things work. We really need to try and keep our questions within that guideline. Especially while in Beta, and Private Beta even more so.
 
agreed with both ^^
 
In the future our traffic will mostly come from Google (or other search engines, if there are any others), and getting a question ranked there will require that it be a one-topic question, otherwise the ranking will be split between possible key words.
The side benefit is that when a question needs to be split into multiple questions, that also gives us multiple chances to be found on Google.
 
yes
and this also brings up the issues of tags. Tags are vital for SEO
 
Tags are going to take time to develop. What looks like a good tag today could end up being to general, or to small, when we get more users and more questions.
Try to find a tag when asking a question, and if you need to make a new tag, try to think of a way to name it so that other people with some-what similar questions can mike it fit on their question, and also so that it's more easily found when trying to think of a tag.
As things progress, I'm sure that there will be lots of reorganization of the tags.
 
2:20 AM
yep
 
3:05 AM
well I've posted my questions and answers on the main and meta for the day :)
 
Thanks for the work
I'm not yet comfortable with asking my questions yet, but I hope to be later
 
@YvetteColomb What's your goal?
 
@anonymous2 I try to post no more than one question or answer on main per day and the same for meta
I tend to be prolific
@GypsySpellweaver that doesn't matter, voting and feedback is vital.
 
@YvetteColomb Prolific is the word. :) A good goal for a new beta.
 
@anonymous2 I have a dominant personality and can easily take over things if I do no moderate self control. I'm also a little literal, so by providing myself clear boundaries - like X number of posts - that works well for me. Also that way I feel like I've achieved something, by contributing and it reduces burn out, by realising I'm not the only person here responsible :D sounds obvious hey?
 
3:11 AM
Too bad we're still in private beta - that cold call question would make a great HNQ. ;)
 
HNQ ??
what does that mean? :)
 
@YvetteColomb Yes, it's a great approach, especially if your schedule permits it. In my particular case, there's no telling when I'll be working and if I'll have internet tomorrow evening or if I'll be out in the boonies or what. :) But, each person to their way. :) I contribute where I can and admire those who contribute regularly. :)
 
and more importantly why are you anonymous2 and not anonymous1? or anonymoustoo??
 
Lol.
 
__H__ot __N__etwork __Q__uestion
 
3:13 AM
@YvetteColomb Hot network Question.
 
ah coolies thanks
 
@GypsySpellweaver, yes. That.
 
51 secs ago, by Yvette Colomb
and more importantly why are you anonymous2 and not anonymous1? or anonymoustoo??
 
HNQ's end up on the front page of SE site. Get more traffic to the site from the curious people.
 
@YvetteColomb Lol.
 
3:14 AM
I think if we can solve this, we will solve many mysteries of the universe
@GypsySpellweaver hm so how do we put it there in 4 weeks?
 
@YvetteColomb The answer is 42
 
@anonymous2 any contributions are good
 
@YvetteColomb By then it will be too late.
 
@GypsySpellweaver yes! indeed it is
 
@YvetteColomb Long story, but essentially it's because I used to have a computer where my user name was anonymous. Then I transferred to Ubuntu Server, where anonymous is actually a system user in some cases. My brother recommended changing my user name, so I changed it to anonymous2. From there on, every profile takes on that name. Well, not quite. My more personal profiles have more personal names. :)
 
3:16 AM
@GypsySpellweaver can't some questions be tweeted?
@anonymous2 ok, but this begs the question, is your brother anonymous1, or is the computer anonymous1 - anonymous==anonymous1?
 
A question's hotness is increased by upvotes on the question, by answers, and by upvotes on answers. The hotness is also decreased by time.
 
do you guys reckon it's ok for me to create some tag wikis?
 
@YvetteColomb Basically whether or not it's considered "hot" is determined by a formula which takes into account three things: upvotes on the question, upvotes on the answers, and number of answers. Closed questions and questions on private betas are disqualified.
 
@GypsySpellweaver can bounties raise the hotness - by the votes I mean.. hm what I'm trying to say, can bounty questions be listed as hnq or does the bounty preclude that?
 
Wait, it also takes into account the age of the question.
 
3:18 AM
ah k!
 
@YvetteColomb Go for it.
 
does it take into account bounties
 
@YvetteColomb I recon that's a good idea. You have the experience to know what to do with them
 
@YvetteColomb Can only start a bounty two days after, I think.
 
ah coolies, thanks for that. I'm doing some site "housekeeping"
oh I know that, I am thinking of how a question can become hot after the fact
 
3:19 AM
And usually, if it's got enough upvotes to hold it out to there (we're talking dozens, if not hundreds), the bounty won't make much difference.
@YvetteColomb Age of question will play against you, I'm afraid.
 
a sudden collection of votes in Q and/or A can help, but with a two-week age I don't think it can be helped.
 
hm yep, unless the site suddenly get an inflow of thousands of members... just going off the reality track...
I don't mind if it's a hnq or not. I'm curious as to how they calculate them
 
The real math is a secret, but the generalities are known.
 
9
A: Change Hot Network Questions algorithm

Joonas IlmavirtaThe biggest problem seems to be that the number of answers has such a big effect, no matter what the answer quality is. Deleting spam answers from a question should not drop its hotness, but now it does. In my opinion answers with zero score have a disproportionate effect on hotness. This same m...

 
ooh yeh, like serial voting --- in the safe in the dens of SE
 
3:24 AM
67
A: How do the "arbitrary hotness points" work on the new Stack Exchange home page?

David FullertonBasically what's documented here: What formula should be used to determine "hot" questions? We have a few tweaks: Succeeding questions from the same site are penalized by increasing amounts. So, the first question from SO in the list gets multiplied by 1.0, the second by 0.98, the third ...

 
wow age in hours, yeh age matters
 
Yep. Over on IoT SE, we haven't had a HNQ that lasted more than a day for months now. At least, that I can remember. :)
 
On Computer Science Educators we've had a string of luck. But that can change without notice. Not sure how long any have stayed there, but there's been a fairly steady presence at least.
 
that's a lot of visits
 
 
2 hours later…
5:58 AM
@HDE226868 The site feels close to the Parenting site, which many people hate, myself included. I think we can avoid the rubbish that goes on at that site, but we'll need to be strict about questions that are too broad or too subjective.
 
Nice to have a second opinion that matches mine. Though I've not visited the Parenting site.
 
yep it reminds me of the parenting site also
 
6:46 AM
> This question is of a kind I am calling "asserting your boundaries". Please [edit] this question to add details about the specific problem you are facing beyond learning to be assertive while polite.
I've started using this comment on some questions, just as a trial for now.
0
A: How can we include the terminology of interpersonal skills into our site?

curiousdanniiTo borrow terminology from the Area 51 site, I think in general we will want this site to be aimed at a "Avid Enthusiast or Prosumer" (as poorly as that applies to this site) - not because those who know they are "beginners" at interpersonal skills don't belong her, but because we'd love for ever...

^ My answer to the question of whether terminology questions belong here
TL;DR: Being a "prosumer" of interpersonal skills means having a well-rounded competency in the area of interpersonal interaction, and it is impossible to have such a well-rounded competency without knowing the language of the field. To reuse phrasing I thought up for another site, we want this site to concern both the theory and the practice of interpersonal skills. So questions about terminology fit into this site because they serve that goal: well-rounded competency.
 
7:08 AM
Ouch, already downvoted. Someone really doesn't like me here :P
 
Maybe they just think it's too restrictive.
 
@GypsySpellweaver But I'm saying the terminology questions belong here! It's the others that want to restrict them!
 
They might think that Enthusiast or Prosumer will exclude them.
 
@GypsySpellweaver Ah, well I mean that's an aspirational title - it's something we can all aim for, and I think something we can all achieve. Of course there are a few people who are genuine experts, having done doctoral research etc on interpersonal skills, but I doubt we have any.
 
Wouldn't hurt if we could get a few to join us though. :)
 
7:15 AM
@GypsySpellweaver Definitely!
 
I know that I'm about as well-rounded as a tetrahedron.
All hard edges and lots of sharp points.
 
@GypsySpellweaver Well at least tetrahedron are very stable ;)
 
I got that part down pat. Makes change that much more difficult too.
 
 
1 hour later…
8:22 AM
@GypsySpellweaver I agree - I didn't downvote it, but we shouldn't restrict who can join
 
I guess I'm always looking for where I don't belong, since I don't belong anywhere, and notice things that confirm my expectations. Not intended but perceived nonetheless.
 
8:53 AM
This site is a vortex!
 
So are relationships, so it seems perfect.
 
(Too breathtaken to type out a coherent follow-up. (That was a struggle in itself.))
To have a question and answer site about interpersonal call and response?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sure hope there is no button to close for opinion-based or too-broad.
(And I don't have the skills or patience to rack up enough points to find out.)
@GypsySpellweaver , I was once told to go back home because I didn't belong where I was.
 
I've been told that at home
 
Do I know you?
 
I doubt it.
 
9:06 AM
"Do I know you?" = "That was good."
 
When I was 14 mom sent me to grandma's then moved and didn't say where to.
 
I hope you're making that up. If not, I believe it anyway.
 
Not a word of it.
 
I locked everyone out of the house once.
And have tried to let them in ever since.
 
I've learned to trust computers, people not so much.
 
9:11 AM
At least computers do what they're told.
Persons tell me what to do.
 
They say what they mean, that's what I trust about them. Only one face and no masks.
 
Again, do I know you?
 
Well, I don't recall meeting anyone that's a cross between a bee and a circular path.
 
I'm not really cross. Just come off that way on off moments.
I trust others to catch on when I pretend to be cross.
 
Well, there's enough of a description in my profile to likely tell you if you know me or not. Not enough to find me or identify to strangers, but someone who knows me should recognize it.
 
9:16 AM
And yes the bee can sting a welt or an arrest.
Are U I? Too much parallel to imagine.
Anyone who digs deep into programming languages has dug deep into their soul.
 
me ≠ you
 
Anyone who loves writing loves life.
@GypsySpellweaver , I know . . . otherwise this would be a puppet show
 
I love writing computer code
 
( late follow-up, not only writers love life . . .)
(that came out looking a little different than intended)
(What was meant: Nonwriters love life too.)
 
I suppose most people love life, just not the hand they've been dealt in that life.
 
9:25 AM
Lucky us to have fingers to type!
(Really, I take inventory every time I wake up and conclude "It just ain't fair.")
And when my teachers tell me of their troubles, I cry the same.
 
Only thing my teachers tell me is "Meow"
 
You've transcended to cat heaven.
I'm still in rat heaven.
 
Can't be cat heaven, the litter box always needs cleaning.
 
Stop using it!
 
r m
Hi all, I am trying to frame a question on tips and gratuities. The problem is this is very culturally weighted, and I more or less know the deal in my own country. I would love to find out what the standards are elsewhere though. Any ideas?
 
9:31 AM
Try asking on Travel
 
r m
sounds a plan, thanks
 
yw. luck.
 
That was good, but what a dilemma. I grew up without barter or gratuities.
And now I tip as if that were the only way to save a life.
 
That's sweet! Why didn't it show up as a picture?
 
9:37 AM
Cause it was a link off google search rather than a direct link to you tube
 
(Don't tempt me into backtracking all those links.)
Follow-up in the meanwhile:
 
Sorry, I can't play videos on my computer.
Ty anyway.
 
&y
 
The dinosaur that I'm using goes into thermal shutdown. Then it takes me hours, literally, to get it resurrected.
 
Do I know you?!?!?!?!
 
9:43 AM
Here's the report for the last failure.
# last reboot
reboot   system boot  4.4.46-11-defaul Wed Jun 28 17:10 - 05:43  (12:32)
reboot   system boot  4.4.46-11-defaul Wed Jun 28 04:10 - 05:43 (1+01:32)
reboot   system boot  4.4.46-11-defaul Tue May 23 13:03 - 04:02 (35+14:58)
reboot   system boot  4.4.46-11-defaul Tue May 23 06:06 - 06:43  (00:36)

wtmp begins Mon May 22 23:53:23 2017
 
37 mins ago, by humn
"Do I know you?" = "That was good."
Only two failures a day? Lucky.
Only way I can reduce my failures to two a day is by going into a coma.
 
Notice that the top two lines are concurrent usage. The attempted boot at 04:10 failed and thinks it is still running. The successful but, 13 hours later, at 17:10 is the one that I'm running on now.
 
Ah, I see the timestamps now.
 
If I'm cautious I can avoid thermal shutdown. Line 3 shows the last failure occurred after a 35 day 14 hour 58 min run time
It was a large anigif that I wasn't expecting that killed it.
 
35 days?! That's a month of Sundays. (Trying to be funny.)
Don't think any appliance of mine has run for 35 days.
 
9:50 AM
I've got the 2.8GHz CPU throttled down to 1.8GHz, and that lets me keep it alive, most of the time.
Still have to watch the tell-tales on the side, just to be safe.
 
Right (not right side, just right.).
I'm floored by any thing's working.
 
I built it, so I have a few ideas of how to nurse it along until I can replace it with a new build.
 
But no music videos on your stage? You shared one.
 
My partner likes country and finds them, sometimes I remember where to look.
Why the edit, and why the almost call by neighbors? Sample
 
... sometimes I'm minimalist. Sometimes I don't.
 
9:58 AM
That would get them calling.
 
... neighbors have never actually called the cops but I sure do enjoy trying their patience.
 
They probably enjoy the drapes too.
 
They've tried my patience in other ways. Construction, cigar smoke, . . .
My favorite cat enjoys the drapes to shreds!
 
You need a squirt bottle of water. Discipline tool.
 
I've tried everything else.
 
10:01 AM
17 cats, no torn drapes.
Christmas ornaments are safe too.
 
I think different cats, like different persons, are born with different temperaments.
 
No doubt about that!
 
My favorite cat goes out the front door time and again just to be shredded by another, time and again.
And this same kitty won't bare a tooth or unsheath a claw to me.
 
All the cats in our local colony get along fine. Though only one will allow human contact.
 
Nice choice of words. No choice in cats. They choose us.
 
10:07 AM
The "colony" is the cats that live outside. Five regulars, and 3 that pass through from time to time. Four of the inside cats actually go outside for most of the daylight hours. They get along with the colony as well. The other 13 inside cats don't go out at all.
 
Wow. You must have a silo of food for them!
 
Walmart is my friend
 
I've only made it through perhaps 7 individual kitties, but each was as memorable as how you just described.
"perhaps 7 individuals" = "exactly 7 individuals"
Back to "interpersonal" topics, one of my best friends likened himself to a cat.
 
Did he purr when you scratched his back?
 
@GypsySpellweaver ?
 
10:13 AM
@HenryWHHackv2.0 Read back a bit
 
ok
ah got it.
 
Now I treat my favorite cat like he were one of my best friends.
("Interpersonal"? I have a lifetime of interpersonal lessons interrupted by ends of lives. It really ain't fair, but maybe something to share.)
(One way or another.)
 
Only had a few lives end around me. Most from old-age.
 
I never thought I'd become this maudlin, but time has a way. Just wait.
And here is that kitty-cat, reminding me that each time out the door is like the first.
I call him "Butter" and "Header." because those are the enders that meet in the middle.
Also because he's the color of butter.
And the color of header.
 
10:31 AM
What "color" is "header"
 
The color of blood. This cat will butthead his way through anything.
On return from the county veterinarian, they remarked that they'd never before seen a cat that who wouldn't sedate.
That's why he's my favorite, forehead full of blood again and again.
 
Did he take a header off the shelf sometime in the past?
 
Haven't we all?
Repeat disclaimer: I want to swaddle everyone I meet as if they had been through all that.
 
@YvetteColomb Is my post really so easily misunderstood as to suggest that I think we should put any restrictions on who can join the site??
 
10:53 AM
> I think in general we will want this site to be aimed at a "Avid Enthusiast or Prosumer" (as poorly as that applies to this site)
 
"Prosumer"? The verbivore in me just ..."
Is that a well-known term? Thought I'd heard them all. (Did look it up.)
 
@humn I hate that word!
 
I you can vomit such an awesome word, @Yvette Colomb, why not another that tastes better?
 
(Yeah yeah, trying to come up with a good one, it would only be fair.)
(But "prosumer" is my word of the day until then.)
In contrast: "mellifluence"
Or: "confluence"
But I like the taste of miel more than con.
(Are you really French like yournym, @Yvette Colomb? If so I hope you appreciated that attempt.)
(I'm barely human like mynym, so one can never tell.)
 
11:24 AM
my name is french yes
I'm an Aussie
 
Rosetta
(I'm a language sideshow geek, on display 4 days a week)
 
 
2 hours later…
1:04 PM
@curiousdannii What bothers you in particular?
An unrelated random observation: It seems that questions are routinely getting more upvotes than answers are, which is counter to most trends I've seen before. It's interesting.
 
1:29 PM
I guess that means others like the question, maybe want an answer as well, but not so many people find the answer(s) so far useful for their own situation.
With our questions addressing personal issues, rather than technical issues with solid right/wrong answers, that's to be expected. I think anyway
 
1:53 PM
Right, it's not necessarily true that one answer is much better than another.
 
2:14 PM
@HDE226868 Where to start? :P The terrible advice. The unbounded subjectiveness. The complete betrayal of everything that makes the stack exchange format work!
@YvetteColomb Did you read the rest of that sentence? "not because those who know they are "beginners" at interpersonal skills don't belong her, but because we'd love for everyone who is a part of this site to quickly learn skills and gain confidence so that they would soon feel as though they are "prosumers"."
@HDE226868 I think everyone is concerned to make sure the site succeeds during the private beta, so they are being very liberal with their question votes. It's not a healthy sign.
 
@curiousdannii I did, but as a leading statement it gives that impression, although I suspect you're right, it will be that group and beginners this site draws. Professionals will either be doing it for a living or already have a blog.
I've got to go to bed now, see you all tomoz \o
 
2:31 PM
o/
 
@curiousdannii @YvetteColomb I'm making a meta question about experts and expert questions, because I do want this site to be popular among experts. I attend conferences that involve relationship/interpersonal skills experts, and they're huge geeks that would tend to enjoy contributing to a site like this.
 
Didn't realize anyone was an expert in this field.
Wait a sec... It all makes sense now
 
@10Replies Yup! Therapists, self-help-book writers, lecturers in communication skills, sociologists, and so on. Heck, I don't know if I'm an expert, but I co-host a podcast that intersects with the topic. I think we want those sorts of people interested in the site.
 
cool.
 
very!
 
2:44 PM
Other pet peeve of this site is that I wish everyone in the review queues would help contribute to the site as well as the review queues. Some people have been in the review queues and still have 101 rep... no edits, posts, nada.
 
Anyone brave enough to type here is expert interpersonally. But the Q/A part of this site still seems to baffle the system. Let's see what shakes out.
 
0
Q: Rejection and Saying-no tags

10 RepliesRejection and Saying-no tags Do we really need both? Should they be synonyms?

 
3:07 PM
2
Q: What sort of expert questions do we want?

Gregory Avery-WeirWhat does a good expert question look like on this site? Possibly related to Are hypothetical questions welcome? and How can we include the terminology of interpersonal skills into our site? . Our beta invite says: The first questions set the tone for the site. If you ask high quality, exper...

 
 
1 hour later…
4:30 PM
@GregoryAvery-Weir thanks for the heads up, will have a look
 
 
1 hour later…
5:35 PM
0
Q: When we should start reviewing/merging/deleting/discussing tags for the site?

Crafter0800I've already noticed a lot of similar and potentially duplicate tags for the site, and I was wondering when during the site's beta is a good time to start asking for community feedback on merging 2 tags (such as online-interaction and social-media) and also removing of duplicate tags? Can we star...

 
 
4 hours later…
9:35 PM
I think we're giving the "related questions" algorithm a mighty challenge. It doesn't seem to know what to do. :)
 
10:28 PM
Theres just not enough questions lol
 

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