It was actually pretty simple: `function WolframQuery(search,callback){var x=new XMLHttpRequest();x.onreadystatechange=function(){if(x.readyState===4){if(x.status===200){callback(x.responseXML)}}};x.open("GET","https://crossorigin.me/http://api.wolframalpha.com/v2/query?input="+encodeURIComponent(search)+"&appid=API_CODE");x.send();}` and then: `WolframQuery(m.textContent.trim().replace(/^(\/|@\w+\s+)([A-Za-z]+)/,"").trim(),function(r){
//$("#upload-url-input > input[name=upload-url]").val($(r).find("pod[title=Result] img").attr('src'));$("#upload-url-input ~ input[value=upload]").click();

<Chatgoat / Wolfram>3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196442881097566593344612847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432664821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179310511854807446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912983367336244065664308602139494639522473719070217986094370277053921717629317…

<Chatgoat> /what: (n/a)runs a wolfram alpha query (be nice I'm limited to 2000 per month)
<Chatgoat> /wolfram: runs a *w*olf*r*am *a*lpha query (be nice I'm limited to 2000 per month)
<Chatgoat> /help: shows help
<Chatgoat> /talk: talking animals
<Chatgoat> /gist: where does chatgoat come from? (source code)
<Chatgoat> /hi: chatgoat will say hi
<Chatgoat> /goat: Random goat gif/pic, what could possibly go wrong?
<Chatgoat> /carrot: ^
<Chatgoat> /kill: Kills chatgoat, why would you do this ;-;
<Chatgoat> /shutup: Shuts chatgoat up

<Chatgoat / Wolfram> Best Guess:


2nd-best guess:
George Washington (politician)full name | George Washington
date of birth | Friday, February 11, 1732 (Julian calendar) (283 years ago)
place of birth | Westmoreland County, Virginia
date of death | Saturday, December 14, 1799 (Gregorian calendar) (age: 67 years)
(215 years ago)
place of death | Mount Vernon, Virginiaofficial position | country | start date | end date
Senior Officer (Department of Defense) | United States | July 13, 1798 | December 14, 1799

<Chatgoat> /what, /why: runs a wolfram alpha query, ignores first word. Usage: /what is 3+2
<Chatgoat> /wolfram: runs a wolfram alpha query
<Chatgoat> /help: shows help
<Chatgoat> /talk: talking animals
<Chatgoat> /gist: where does chatgoat come from? (source code)
<Chatgoat> /hi: chatgoat will say hi
<Chatgoat> /goat: Random goat gif/pic, what could possibly go wrong?
<Chatgoat> /carrot: ^
<Chatgoat> /kill: Kills chatgoat, why would you do this ;-;
<Chatgoat> /shutup: Shuts chatgoat up
<Chatgoat> /say: talks english. You may add what you want Chatgoat to say. Chatgoat will always say what …

<Chatgoat / Wolfram> Best Guess:
2nd-best guess:
carbon (chemical element)symbol | C
atomic number | 6
atomic mass | 12.0107 u (unified atomic mass units)phase at STP | solid |
melting point | [5,6]-fullerene-C70 | 280 °C
| buckminsterfullerene | 280 °C
| activated charcoal | 3550 °C
| graphite | 3675 °C
boiling point | activated charcoal | 4027 °C
(properties at standard conditions)density | buckminsterfullerene | 1.65 g/cm^3
| activated charcoal | 2.26 g/cm^3
| diamond | 3.5 g/cm^3
Mohs hardness | 0.5 (between talc and gypsum) |

<Chatgoat / Wolfram> Best Guess: 1 | noun | a set of rules or principles or laws (especially written ones)
2 | noun | a coding system used for transmitting messages requiring brevity or secrecy
3 | noun | (computer science) the symbolic arrangement of data or instructions in a computer program or the set of such instructions
4 | verb | attach a code to
5 | verb | convert ordinary language into code
(5 meanings)k'ohd (IPA: k\:02c8o\:028ad)code (no hyphenation) (4 letters | 1 syllable)1303 (High Middle ages) (712 years ago)Old French | Latinwritten: 1891st most common (1 in 17857 wor…

<Chatgoat / Wolfram> Best Guess: Capra hircusgoat (feral)kingdom | Animalia (animals)
phylum | Chordata (chordates)
class | Mammalia (mammals)
order | Artiodactyla (antelope, giraffe, camels, pigs, hippos...)
family | Bovidae (antelopes, buffalo, bison, cattle, gazelles, goats, sheep...)
genus | Capra
species | Capra hircus (domestic goat)maximum recorded lifespan | 20 years (in captivity)
weight | 130 lb (pounds)number of tastebuds | 15000 (human: 9000)single hemisphere brain surface area | 120 cm^2 (square centimeters) (human: 1100 cm^2)

<Chatgoat / Wolfram> Best Guess: Rrrrrring. Operator: I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please multiply by i and dial again.
(according to what passes for mathematical humor (my favorite sub-genre), drawn from several sources but primarily from P. Renteln and A. Dundes in their paper "Sampling of Mathematical Folk Humor" in Notices of the American Mathematical Society, vol. 52, pp. 24-34, 2005)
2nd-best guess:
Tell me a joke.Rrrrrring. Operator: I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please multiply by i and dial again.

<Chatgoat / Wolfram> 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝘂𝗹𝘁: full name | George Washington
date of birth | Friday, February 11, 1732 (Julian calendar) (283 years ago)
place of birth | Westmoreland County, Virginia
date of death | Saturday, December 14, 1799 (Gregorian calendar) (age: 67 years)
(215 years ago)
place of death | Mount Vernon, Virginia
𝗦𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁: full name | George Washington
date of birth | Friday, February 11, 1732 (Julian calendar) (283 years ago)
place of birth | Westmoreland County, Virginia