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Cerberus

10:00

But you wouldn't.

Couldn't be arsed.

Just because of that silly armada.

And the second one.

Or was there only one?

ElendilTheTall

One Spanish

Cerberus

Oh.

Spanish Armada or Great Armada, an unsuccessful attempted invasion of England by Spain in 1588
English Armada or Counter Armada, an unsuccessful English naval campaign in 1589 aimed at capturing Lisbon and other coastal towns from Spain
Armada of 1779 or Other Armada, an unsuccessful attempted invasion of England by France and Spain in 1779

Wow.

You tried to capture Lisbon?? Respect.

ElendilTheTall

We were bored

Cerberus

And I don't remember that armada of 1779 at all.

ElendilTheTall

Me either

Must've wiped them out

Cerberus

10:02

But Spain had lost much of its power by then.

ElendilTheTall

Our Navy was badass

Cerberus

And France was past the peak of her power too.

And you were at your peak.

ElendilTheTall

Oh I don't know

Cerberus

I do.

ElendilTheTall

Think our peak came a bit later than that

Trafalgar etc

Cerberus

10:03

It started around that time and went on until, say, 1870 or 1900.

ElendilTheTall

The Empire you mean?

Cerberus

The rise of Germany was your doom.

Everything.

Relative world power.

It's stupid that you let those silly western colonies slip, though.

ElendilTheTall

Ach, more trouble than they're worth

Cerberus

If only you had properly exploited them...

But, yeah, those religious zealots, good riddance.

ElendilTheTall

Here's an incredible fact - at the main battle of the Spanish Armada, 50-100 British sailors died in action. 6000-8000 died of disease

Cerberus

10:06

But you should have let us keep Nieuw Amsterdam. We could have made into a decent place.

ElendilTheTall

what disease was that?!

Cerberus

Heh.

How long were they at sea?

Measles? Pox?

Cholera?

The plague?

Could have been anything.

ElendilTheTall

typhus and dysentery apparently

Cerberus

See?

ElendilTheTall

Nice, survive a sea battle only to shit yourself to death

Cerberus

10:09

Great.

ElendilTheTall

You have to wonder at people that take the time and effort to make a complete profile with picture and bio to ask one question on an SE site

Christ, I've been around here for nearly two years and I have no profile info whatsoever

Cerberus

Heh.

A picture would be nice.

Just a few clicks.

ElendilTheTall

wouldn't it just

I hate 'social media'

Cerberus

I even hate this unspeakable phrase.

Network sites is what they are.

The medium is the Internet.

ElendilTheTall

I have no desire for any stranger to know anything meaningful about me in any way, shape or form

Cerberus

10:15

How about old class mates?

ElendilTheTall

and I certainly have no desire to allow someone to sell my personal information as a commodity

Cerberus

People you met at a party but who don't have your name?

ElendilTheTall

my old class mates can fuck off

Cerberus

Well.

ElendilTheTall

I hated school and everyone in it

Cerberus

10:16

And prospective dates?

ElendilTheTall

My wife would disapprove

Cerberus

People you met at university?

ElendilTheTall

Couldn't care less

If I wanted to keep in contact I would've kept in contact

Cerberus

I like being able to check someone out occasionally. And I like being reachable for people who don't have my number. The rest I don't care about.

ElendilTheTall

If someone doesn't have my number or e-mail address, I don't want them to contact me

Cerberus

10:18

And of course I post what I have for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day.

@ElendilTheTall Why not?

ElendilTheTall

@Cerberus Why?

If they don't have those details, they don't know me, or need to know me

If they need them, I will give them

Cerberus

You know, there's also getting to know people...

ElendilTheTall

Fuck that, people are idiots

Cerberus

How will you give them your number if they have no way of contacting you?

Okay.

ElendilTheTall

Present company excepted of course

:D

Cerberus

10:20

I'm not people.

I'm a dog.

ElendilTheTall

@Cerberus Who are we talking about here?

Cerberus

You should rather except yourself.

Suppose you had an interesting conversation with your friend's cousin at a party about...a book. Suppose he wanted to let you know there was a better version of this book.

ElendilTheTall

Then I'd give him my e-mail address

Cerberus

But he isn't there.

You're at home now.

You can't give it to him.

ElendilTheTall

Then he'd contact my cousin who would contact me and I'd tell him to give him my e-mail address

I should mention that I also hate parties, naturally

Cerberus

10:23

@ElendilTheTall And what are the chances that he would do this? It would be a hassle.

Potentially awkward.

And just too much trouble.

ElendilTheTall

Then somehow I would survive without reading the book

Cerberus

So anyway, this is part of the useful aspect of Facebook for me.

Another aspect is checking out dates before the date.

ElendilTheTall

why would I want someone who is essentially a stranger to be able to access my Facebook just so he can recommend a book?

He could be a psychopath

Cerberus

Well, what would that matter?

What could he do with your Facebook page?

Of course you wouldn't put any sensitive info on there.

Just your name is enough.

ElendilTheTall

What do you define as sensitive?

Cerberus

10:26

Your address. Your main e-mail. Your phone number. Naked pictures.

Of course the latter may or may not be sensitive for you.

ElendilTheTall

Not with my profession of nude male model

In any case, I'd rather not bother

Cerberus

Then by all means put your naked pictures on there!

ElendilTheTall

Mark Zuckerberg can take a hike

Cerberus

@ElendilTheTall That is a valid standpoint.

I hate Facebook.

I just use it occasionally in ways that are useful to me.

ElendilTheTall

And useful to them

Cerberus

10:28

And laugh at all the idiots who spend lots of time on that website.

They can use me as a metric.

ElendilTheTall

So, do you still have an abysmal serifed font and 954 shortcut tabs on your browser?

Cerberus

Yes.

Since computers are never going to be beautiful anyway, it matters little.

The tabs are a sin, I confess.

They just...happen.

ElendilTheTall

How can you possibly need that many open?

I have 3 or 4, tops

Cerberus

I don't.

ElendilTheTall

and that's when I'm doing something like comparing hardware specs

Cerberus

10:35

It's just that I often open tabs that I intend to read later.

How do you deal with that?

ElendilTheTall

I don't

But if I did, I would use something like Instapaper

Then I could read them on other devices, categorise them etc

Cerberus

Too much trouble.

This way, I don't have to do anything.

They're just there.

ElendilTheTall

Taking up computer resources, impossible to read their titles

cluttering your mind

Is your desk a mess too?

Cerberus

They don't take up any resources. They are not loaded in memory.

My desk is not so bad, in fact, because I have to receive guests in this room.

But, yes, the unreadable titles are a definite disadvantage.

ElendilTheTall

Guests?

You hold court?

Cerberus

10:42

Hehe.

RegDwighт

Wow, Windows ME!

skullpatrol

Hoho.

Cerberus

Yes, I am sitting on my throne in a relaxed position typing on my laptop now.

@RegDwighт You wish.

@skullpatrol Yoyo.

RegDwighт

@Cerberus no, actually I do not!

skullpatrol

Soso.

Cerberus

10:43

@RegDwighт I am shocked.

RegDwighт

But are you also awed?

Cerberus

Microsoft showed me a huge list of "critical" updates it wanted me to install. Blah.

@RegDwighт Yes! Let's bomb the hell out of some country.

RegDwighт

"Critical update" certainly sounds like something you shouldn't be installing.

Cerberus

I know.

Tell that to @mrshiny.

It also wanted me to install IE 8, which I already have installed.

Microsoft know nothing.

I may already have those "critical" updates installed too.

RegDwighт

@Cerberus you should send them more reports, then.

ElendilTheTall

10:46

Ah, good old XP

Cerberus

Ugh.

I think I disabled error reports.

ElendilTheTall

What's it like still having to worry about WIN32 viruses?

skullpatrol

Critically speaking, you guys are critics of "critical" :D

Cerberus

I worry not.

RegDwighт

@Cerberus see! It all makes sense now.

Cerberus

10:47

@skullpatrol Exactly!

@ElendilTheTall I very, very rarely have viruses. Last time was maybe five years ago, and I am now a bit more responsible.

RegDwighт

@ElendilTheTall WIN64 still has to worry about WIN32 viruses, but not the other way round.

skullpatrol

vice versa?

RegDwighт

@skullpatrol do I hear criticism?

Cerberus

Vice versa, no.

RegDwighт

@skullpatrol Miami vice versa.

skullpatrol

10:48

lol

Con-versa

Cerberus

I will install Windows 7 by the time I get an SSD, which will be by the time I upgrade my entire computer. But it still feels very fast, so why should I?

I may skip Windows 7 and 8.

We'll see.

ElendilTheTall

How long does it take to boot

Cerberus

Not very long, I don't know.

ElendilTheTall

With all those system tray things?

RegDwighт

@Cerberus By the time you get Windows 7 it will be called Windows 17 and not available on the market since five years.

Cerberus

10:50

@ElendilTheTall Yeah, those take some time.

ElendilTheTall

Have you ever used a Windows 7 computer @cerberus?

Cerberus

Although most are very small.

skullpatrol

Windows 9000

Cerberus

@ElendilTheTall Yes. It is much the same as XP.

RegDwighт

Windows OVER 9000.

ElendilTheTall

10:51

29!!!

Cerberus

@RegDwighт Heh. We'll see.

ElendilTheTall

29 system tray icons!!!

tchrist

@Cerberus Play by the numbers, or not at all. Your eyes can tell you nothing.

Cerberus

@ElendilTheTall What about it?

ElendilTheTall

Jesus H Christ

RegDwighт

10:51

@ElendilTheTall Yes, according to Windows, 29 is over 9000.

ElendilTheTall

that is ridiculous

Cerberus

@ElendilTheTall I used to have more. I have created at least 5 of them myself.

ElendilTheTall

turn them off and feel the wind rushing through your keyboard!

29 systray icons offends me on a cellular level

Cerberus

I already feel it rushing there and elsewhere. My computer is very fast.

ElendilTheTall

compared to an arthritic snail perhaps

Cerberus

10:52

Each icon stands for a program that serves a purpose.

I could tell you what each icon does, but I can't think of anything more boring.

tchrist

@Cerberus I have 1000s of programs that serve purposes. It is nutzoid to require a picture for each of those.

ElendilTheTall

what is that red R?

skullpatrol

@ElendilTheTall Snails don't have bones?

Cerberus

@tchrist It is convenient this way: now I know which ones are running at a glance.

skullpatrol

57 secs ago, by ElendilTheTall

compared to an arthritic snail perhaps

Cerberus

10:53

@ElendilTheTall A program I created to search the Internet, the OED, and various other things, from anywhere on my computer/browser/anything.

ElendilTheTall

@skullpatrol it's a metaphor, calm down

tchrist

@Cerberus In my father’s mansion there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you so.

Cerberus

This is the red R.

ElendilTheTall

How about the green tick?

Cerberus

I select a word, do a mouse gesture, and this little window pops up.

Green tick is spelling autocorrect.

ElendilTheTall

10:54

Oh ffs, you don't need that

Cerberus

I modified that one based on someone else's script.

Sure I do.

ElendilTheTall

Any program you type in these days has one built in!

Cerberus

Otherwise I'd be typing "dosen;t" all the time.

ElendilTheTall

You have what look like 4 system resource monitors

What's the point of them?

Cerberus

My browser doesn't have a proper autocorrect. And mine works much better than that of MS Word.

tchrist

10:55

RegDwighт

@Cerberus the 1989s called!

Cerberus

@ElendilTheTall Memory, CPU, hard drive activity, and commit charge.

Not in that order.

@RegDwighт Hmm what?

ElendilTheTall

Why do you need to know those at a glance?

RegDwighт

@Cerberus Your screenshot. It's 25 years behind the times.

Cerberus

They are convenient to have there at a glance. Sometimes, when a program is not responding or something, I can immediately tell whether it is CPU, or whatever. Etc.

@RegDwighт And yet I can do anything you can on your computer, and more.

Matt Эллен

10:57

@ElendilTheTall Mr. Shiny and New! I thought you'd given up trying to convince Cerberus of his need to change his computer habits.

ElendilTheTall

@Cerberus what difference does it make what's causing it?

you still either have to wait it out or kill the process

RegDwighт

@Cerberus haha, you lost me at the "and more" part.

Your computer just adds zeroes and oneses, just like mine.

skullpatrol

Mine can divide by zero

wanna see?

ElendilTheTall

christ, I've just noticed that you've got fuckloads of Firefox plugins as well

Aaaargh, my brain hurts

Cerberus

@ElendilTheTall Then at least I can tell whether or not killing a process would make sense. Consider this. When program x is being weird or hanging, and I see a CPU spike, I hover over it, and it tells me which program is the culprit. If I don't see a CPU spike, but I see memory is nearly full, then I know perhaps I should restart Firefox. If neither, I know it is just program x being a biatch.

ElendilTheTall

10:59

I'd like to see a video capture of you opening firefox to see how many cups of tea I could make while it's opening

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