English Language & Usage: Multi-Layered Discourse Room

Robusto

05:00

Can you guys see my blog article yet?

Cerberus

@simchona Nooo seriously?

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

@rob not me

simchona

There's a history.

Cerberus

@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 That'll teach you.

David Wallace

@Robusto 404 sorry.

Robusto

05:01

WTF, it's supposed to be published on the 31st.

It's the 31st already in most places.

Cerberus

@simchona I thought people could see only the history of their own posts, but apparently moderators can see everyone'ses.

@Robusto You're behind. I am shocked.

404

David Wallace

@Robusto Much of North America is still on the 30th.

Cerberus

Here are your girls.

David Wallace

There. Can anyone tell me I was mistaken?

Cerberus

I was out with that guy, amongst others.

They're all smart too.

Robusto

05:03

@Cerberus Everyone looks so ... Dutch. Except you.

Cerberus

Oh, yes?

And what does Dutch look like?

Robusto

See the date? 12-31.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

@david not mistaken

David Wallace

Hah! A German friend of mine can't understand why people think he looks German.

Cerberus

@DavidWallace Oh? Is he blond and stout, with a beard?

Robusto

05:05

@Cerberus Oh, you know. You look more like Belgian or Luxembourgois.

Cerberus

Uhh...

The Dutch are a disparate people.

@DavidWallace I see.

Robusto

I am tall for my height.

David Wallace

and uses Stack Exchange.

Cerberus

I'm normal.

@Robusto Lies.

I've seen your picture.

simchona

Tall for your height? Heh.

Robusto

05:06

Yes. And thin for my weight.

David Wallace

I am known for my knowledge.

Robusto

@Cerberus You misspelled desperate.

Cerberus

How?

Robusto

By spelling it like disparate.

Cerberus

Odd.

Robusto

05:08

Odd looks like a Dutch word.

Or Norse or something.

Or Hindi.

Or Brobdingnagian.

Cerberus

Uhh never!

We never ever use double consonants at the end of a word.

Abomination!

Robusto

A-bomb-ination?

Cerberus

Does she look Dutch?

A friend's child wearing my shoes.

Robusto

Not tall enough. Dutch people are supposed to be the tallest in the world.

Cerberus

She insisted on putting them on.

Robusto

05:10

Maybe when she grows up she could be Dutch.

Cerberus

She's working on it.

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

Well folks, my wife is away ... or I guess I'm away, but I have the kids to myself tomorrow, which is really later today, like in 6 hours when they wake up, so I'm going to sign off and wish you all happy new year

Robusto

Cute, though.

Happy New Year, @Mr.ShinyandNew安宇.

Cerberus

@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 You are excused. Bye!

@Robusto At last. Thanks!!

Robusto

What do you Dutch call yourselves?

@Cerberus Nederlander?

David Wallace

05:11

Oh, I missed the photo that time.

Robusto

Nederlaendern?

Nibelungen?

Niffelheimers?

Mr. Shiny and New 安宇

Bye

David Wallace

@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 Happy New Year.

Cerberus

@Robusto That is the singular, "Dutchman", yes.

Do these guys look Dutch to you?

Robusto

@Cerberus Plural?

Cerberus

05:14

-s.

David Wallace

The man does.

Cerberus

Noted.

He claims Jewish and Persian descent...

Dave I have known since were we 13.

@DavidWallace But not the girls?

David Wallace

I'm not sure. I have enlarged your image and I am looking closely at the girls. The one in red could be from anywhere.

Cerberus

She is from Lesbos.

Well, not literally.

David Wallace

The one in white reminds me a little of my former neighbour. I can't put my finger on why though. And the neighbour is Dutch.

Cerberus

05:17

Really?

That's funny.

I have known her for 22 years.

David Wallace

The woman in white looks like the sort of woman I would like to be friends with. Just from the facial expression.

Cerberus

She's great.

David Wallace

Interesting that the women chose to colour-co-ordinate their clothes with the chairs they are sitting on.

Cerberus

Haha.

Who understands women?

David Wallace

@Cerberus Are you looking for a show of hands?

Cerberus

05:20

Do these people look Dutch to you?

@DavidWallace I was, but the number was....small.

David Wallace

That woman is looking at you funny.

Cerberus

Well, you know.

At my brother, you mean.

Did you really think that was I?

David Wallace

That's your brother? You look quite alike.

Cerberus

Hmm.

Some say we do, some say we don't.

David Wallace

I did. With a different haircut, of course.

Cerberus

05:22

We sort of have the same haircut usually.

David Wallace

She is looking at him as if he just made an indecent suggestion, or something.

Cerberus

He probably did.

David Wallace

So tell me. The woman in white whom you've known for 22 years. Where is she from?

Cerberus

From Holland.

She was born in the colonies.

In the West Indies, but she has some East-Indian blood, like me.

Robusto

I'm out. Happy New Year if I don't see you.

Cerberus

05:27

@Robusto Uhhh thanks a lot?

What if you do see us? Will it be a horrible new year then?

So rude.

@DavidWallace But she basically looks as Dutch as any other Dutchwoman.

Now show me some New Zealanders. I bet they look very Dutch as well.

There is no real Dutch look, except blond, but that's only a minority.

David Wallace

Why do part-Indian women always turn my head?

Cerberus

The East Indies are Indonesia to us.

So no actual India.

David Wallace

Oh, OK. So not a relevant question then. Sorry.

Cerberus

I apologise for the confusion.

She is alas taken.

David Wallace

I have very few photos with me, sorry, Cerberus. And none of New Zealanders other than myself. The hard drive with all my photos is at the home of my wife.

Cerberus

05:32

Hmm.

David Wallace

@Cerberus Oh, you misunderstand me. I am not interested in your friend.

Cerberus

Then I shall have to avail myself of Google.

@DavidWallace I know.

Just teasing you.

I'm Googling "New Zealanders"...

Not quite what I expected, but cute.

Hmm...what to say...

David Wallace

Huh, don't make me post that photo of Tame Iti again. You didn't like it the first time, if I recall.

Feb 16 at 10:46, by Cerberus

@DavidWallace Oh yikes.

This is Bernice Mene, who used to be the captain of the New Zealand netball team; and has also been in several TV ads.

This is Carolyn Robinson, one of our most popular TV news-readers.

This is Tamati Coffey, another TV personality.

Is that enough New Zealanders to keep you quiet for a while, @Cerberus? As you can see, we are a beautiful people.

Cerberus

Sorry, I was throwing away yoghurt.

It took some time, because it was really old.

Those girls look cute. They could be Dutch.

David Wallace

No, you can't have them!

Cerberus

05:44

Guy looks OK too.

David Wallace

They are both married (the women).

Cerberus

Well.

David Wallace

Not sure about the man. You can have HIM, I guess.

Cerberus

What if they have open marriages?

Does he have some Maori blood?

Haha.

David Wallace

With a name like Tamati, I'd say he's fairly certain to have some Maori blood.

Cerberus

05:46

Yeah.

It's funny, I was going to say, he might have some black blood, but then I remembered he was from Antipodia.

And yet Africans and Oceanians are not very closely related, I believe, are they?

David Wallace

Don't think that New Zealanders don't use the word "black".

Cerberus

They do look alike to me.

@DavidWallace Yeah OK.

Somehow I wouldn't use black for Oceanians. Funny.

Or perhaps I would.

I don't know.

David Wallace

@Cerberus Maori and Pacific Islanders are more closely related to Caucasians than they are to Africans, I believe.

Cerberus

Ah, really?

The thing is, genetic variation is much greater within Africa than outside.

David Wallace

Don't forget that the human race started in Africa. Everybody else is more closely related to each other than to Africans.

Cerberus

05:49

Jinx.

David Wallace

Jinx!

You owe me a joke!

Cerberus

So perhaps some black tribe emigrated from Africa, then part of the tribe split off to the north and eventually became white, and part went east, towards Oceania.

@DavidWallace Uhh I was first. And you already have a joke, so I see.

I also wonder how people in southern India became/remained black.

David Wallace

OK, here's your joke then.

Cerberus

Haha aww.

Is that Reg with his sock puppet, me?

David Wallace

Hah, that man also looks nothing like Reg.

Cerberus

05:52

Yeah, oh, well.

David Wallace

I need to find an image of a man who DOES look vaguely like Reg, I guess.

Hah! Mahnax's avatar looks vaguely like Reg, but quite a lot older.

Hi @Mah!

Mahnax

@DavidWallace Have you seen Reg before?

Hi!

David Wallace

There is a photo of him in this chat room somewhere. It is very hard to find. Kit Fox recently brought it to the attention of those of us who were here at the time.

Cerberus

@DavidWallace Quite a lot...

Hi!

I'm eating sour cream whose expiration date says August 2012.

Mahnax

Why?

Was it frozen?

Cerberus

06:01

Because it tastes all right.

No.

Mahnax

Also, I would love to see this mysterious photograph.

Cerberus

Which one?

Mahnax

Of Reg.

Cerberus

Ah.

Hmm that will be hard to find.

David Wallace

He may have deleted it. Bother. I should have downloaded it.

Cerberus

06:05

Hahaha.

Yes!

Mahnax

Haha, I see!

David Wallace

He will kill me later of course, being able to see deleted messages and all.

Cerberus

No doubt.

Quoting someone else's line is anathema.

David Wallace

flattery

Cerberus

Who knows?

David Wallace

06:07

You can't cart your star with a bat flattery.

Cerberus

A bat flattery?

@DavidWallace Hey, have I shown you the article about what having The Hobbit shot in NZ cost your taxpayers?

bloomberg.com/news/2012-12-04/…

David Wallace

Yes, you did. Thank you.

It was SO not worth it.

Cerberus

Ah OK.

David Wallace

Have you seen it?

Cerberus

Have you seen it?

facepalm

David Wallace

06:15

Jinx!

Cerberus

No.

David Wallace

Don't bother.

Cerberus

This may be the first time the jinx is 100 % accurate!

OK I won't.

David Wallace

Sorry, I mean, don't forget to show your support for the New Zealand film industry by going to see this fine kiwi movie.

Cerberus

Uhh you mean the American film industry.

Not a penny will go eastward!

David Wallace

06:17

I would like the pennies to go more west, if they're going to start from America.

Cerberus

Unless you keep on going and going until you arrive in the West.

David Wallace

Jinx!

Cerberus

Heh.

My pennies will not start from America.

They're MINE!!

David Wallace

You don't have pennies!

Cerberus

Maybe not! But I would like to. The more money, the better.

You know what? Mustard and tomato is not a good combination.

David Wallace

06:20

And yet we put them on our hot dogs.

Do you have English mustard or American?

Oh, you probably don't call them that.

I must disappear for half an hour or so. See y'all.

Cerberus

Bye!

@DavidWallace French.

I believe English mustard is very strong?

My father buys that.

We normally have French mustard.

You?

Mahnax

We buy Dijon mustard.

Cerberus

Yeah.

That's standard here too.

Mahnax

I quite like it.

Cerberus

I like mustard too.

You know what I do?

In a snackbar, I will suck out those little mustard bags/thingies.

@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 Remember we talked about price elasticity and software?

They cut the price of Spectral Souls in half for a sale, and look at what happened to the quantity.

play.google.com/store/apps/…

Heck, I might even buy it.

Mahnax

06:36

@Cerberus Haha, eww!

I don't like it that much.

Cerberus

I know.

I sort of...do.

Mahnax

I could eat ketchup like that though.

Cerberus

How about ketchup?

Mahnax

Gah, I'm so uncultured.

Cerberus

Jinx!

Mahnax

06:44

Oh, haha!

Do you like ketchup?

Cerberus

I like ketchup with some things, but not separately.

If we should ever visit a snackbar together, it is reassuring to know that we shan't have any problems.

Mahnax

Indeed. Perhaps it will happen one day, who knows?

We must be prepared for these sorts of things.

Cerberus

Absolutely.

Mahnax

The money for my Europe trip is saved up, though.

It's happening!

(Not now, mind, but when I graduate)

Cerberus

Oh!

Great.

You have earned that much money already?

That's very fast.

Mahnax

06:50

Well, I intend to add a bit to what I have saved, but I did work for a full year, you know.

Cerberus

Right, right.

You put the car entirely out of your mind?

Mahnax

Certainly.

I might never own one.

user19161

Hey @mah, happy new year!

Mahnax

Hi Jasper! Happy New Year to you as well!

Cerberus

Hi!

Wait, the new year hasn't started yet, not even for you, Jasper, now, has it?

user19161

06:52

Nope.

user19161

You are supposed to say it before it starts man.

Cerberus

Oh, oh.

user19161

So one should say it on 31 Dec SE time.

Cerberus

I see.

David Wallace

Our custom differs. YOu may say "have a happy new year" or similar on December 31 or earlier; but only "happy new year" as a full sentence once the new year has begun.

Cerberus

07:00

I don't even know what our customs are.

I only say "happy new year" at midnight.

Or shortly after.

But people no doubt say it all the time, especially afterwards.

Before, I don't know.

David Wallace

Yes, that seems to me to make sense.

What about kissing?

Cerberus

It is done shortly after midnight.

David Wallace

makes note

Cerberus

You're not preying on my female friends again, are you?

Tsk, tsk.

David Wallace

Right. I'm going to fly to Amsterdam, somehow miraculously get there in the next 16 hours, and crash your party; just so I can prey on all the women you know.

Cerberus

07:06

nods

and makes note

Hilarious.

50 % DISCOUNT ON THE ENTIRE COLLECTION*

*) Except on our regular collection.

What part of entire did they not understand?

David Wallace

Some exclusions apply.

Cerberus

What the heck is "New Zealand Auckland" doing there as a category of clothing??

Is this your doing??

You evil hacker!

steppinout.nl/collectie/men/broeken

There aren't even any items in your category!

David Wallace

One project that I worked on once was software for a footwear retailer. Shoes have "gender" - they can be men's, women's, unisex or children's. But when we investigated the data we had to convert, there were 57 different genders among the types of shoes there; and one gender was Australian.

Cerberus

07:21

Hahaha.

That explains certain things.

"Sex indeterminable", perhaps.

David Wallace

"FOKKE & SUKKE MANCHETKNOPEN" - people talk like that?

Cerberus

Hehe.

You have a keen eye, because Fokke en Sukke are actually intentional, their names.

They are faux Frisian names designed to resemble fuck and suck.

Fokke is actually a real Frisian name, Sukke is not.

Manchet = cuff; knoop = button.

David Wallace

So Dutch people f*** and suck cuff buttons?

Mahnax

Oh, is it New Year's Eve?

Cerberus

Those are cuff links shaped after cartoon characters Fokke en Sukke.

They aren't the subtlest of cartoon characters.

Mahnax

07:34

somebody star me / so I can get a hat / that looks like a good hat / that I got in Hat Da-ash of last year

Cerberus

Mahnax

Sing to the tune of "Somebody told Me" by The Killers.

David Wallace

Must I?

Cerberus

pretends to sing

Mahnax

@DavidWallace Only if you so desire.

No stars? Tough crowd.

throws lemonade at umpire

David Wallace

07:37

I starred you. Stop complaining, or I'll unstar you.

Mahnax

You did?

David Wallace

I absolutely did. You are on my star wall. Second from the top.

Mahnax

Oh, hehe. I see now.

Cerberus

You find Mahnax so uncultured?

David Wallace

"Hehe?" You mean, "sorry David for maligning you unfairly", don't you?

Cerberus

07:39

Oh, my.

retreats into corner

Mahnax

@DavidWallace Yes, of course.

I think I meant "heh", though.

Oh well.

David Wallace

You are fun to tease.

Mahnax

Thank you. I do my best.

That's… substantial.

David Wallace

Don't apologise!

Feb 12 at 7:44, by Mahnax

@DavidWallace Well, Canadians are known for overusing it, (sorry about that, by the way), and Simchona claims that she pronounces it differently.

Anyway, I have 209, so the pot has addressed the kettle.

But most of mine are less sincere.

Mahnax

Ha.

MετάEd

07:52

I think I'm way behind and I feel damned sorry about that.

Cerberus

Behind whom or what?

I can see you well enough.

David Wallace

Hah, Cerb has 426, but I think he's had longer to accumulate them than the rest of us.

Mahnax

I am very tired. Good night!

Cerberus

Of what?

Good night!

David Wallace

Bye @Mah

@MετάEd That's amazing! We should make some kind of rankings table.

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