> I was comfortable writing the [N-word] out for reference purposes well into the 2010s, out of a sense that a Black writer might have somewhat more flexibility. In a 2021 essay about the word’s evolution, I made the decision to use it, carefully. But I have since come to feel that doing so makes so many people so uncomfortable that it is not gracious or effective.
The N-word has become, in this, unique in the English language. There are still some contexts in which it could be acceptable for a man to name the most vicious slur against women, or a straight person to refer to words that hav…