English Language & Usage: Multi-Layered Discourse Room

Cerberus

00:03

Good.

RegDwigнt

00:26

2

Q: First use of American football fields as measurement

In some books and documentaries, American football fields are used as units of measurement for length (100 yards) and sometimes area. For example, a book might say The iceberg was the size of six football fields. to show how gargantuan it is. When is the first recorded usage of American fo...

Well. Somewhere between 1492 and 2019.

Also, who cares.

It's just a number.

Like, back when I asked who was the first to mistranslate the Beautiful Square as the Red Square, that's sort of mattered. Though also not really. But still. For historical context or whatever. Some moron somewhere translated "beautiful" as "red", and then other morons followed suit. That's kind of interesting. Maybe.

But absolutely any moron at all can measure anything at all in football fields as soon as football fields get invented. Where's the pep in that.

This is the actual Beautiful Square, btw. You see any red in there? Precisely my point.

Still there in Kremlin right now as we speak. I've stood there many a time. If we ever meet up in Moscow, we'll stand there together. That's a promise.

And even when the square got moved outside, the Kremlin walls were still painted white at the time. Not a speck of red anywhere.

Morons, I'm telling you.

Learn Russian, kids. Go to school. Красный ≠ червонный.

But yeah. Them murkins be more interested in football, like. And even that is a mistranslation of "handegg" to begin with. Alas.

RegDwigнt

00:54

8

Q: How could Thanos survive this attack?

At the end of Avengers: Infinity War, Thor delivered a mortal chest wound to Thanos with Stormbreaker. Thanos survived long enough to 'make the Snap', ending half of all life in the universe before he died. Yet after the Snap he was suddenly and completely healed. Shouldn't he have died of this ...

marvel marvel-cinematic-universe avengers-infinity-war thanos

Uh. Spoilers, dude!

I've not even watched the first 1537 Marvel movies yet.

Also, here's a major spoiler for you: Thanos does not even exist. If he can survive not even existing, he can survive anything at all.

Duh.

In fact I'll go ahead and see if I can get away with posting that as a comment.

Thanos does not even exist. If he can survive not even existing, he can survive anything at all. — RegDwight 20 secs ago

Get them pitchforks out.

Robusto

@RegDwigнt Well, it certainly is hypnotic. Kinda hard to look away.

"Molecular structure ain't nothin' but a thang!" Too true. And entirely unexpected.

I think I may need repeated viewings, sometimes with an ethanol boost, to grok the whole circumplex of it. But this is a start.

RegDwigнt

02:27

@Robusto ethanol certainly helps. Yet no ethanol ain't no hindrance either. I've watched it both ways and it works either way.

Hypnotic might just be the right word for it. Or maybe I'd liken it to a where's Waldo book. Every time you look, even just for a minute, you discover something new.

I've never seen anyone quite as apt at total BSing as this guy. Not even professional wrestlers.

And he makes it look really easy. That's the best part.

Even though both you and I know it's anything but. And that's the bestest part.

RegDwigнt

02:48

BTW the complete BS bit starts at around the 13-minute mark if you want to skip past the musical numbers. It is utterly mesmerizing every time I watch. He's like a living and breathing postmodernist essay generator that walks like a man. When I grow up I aspire to be half as good as him.

SmokeDetector

05:01

[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Blacklisted user (71): Follow vs Follow after by Dawn Deaton-Quartana on english.SE

RegDwigнt

11:40

M.A.R.

Well it's a song composed for Han Solo, not you

RegDwigнt

@Robusto I beg your pardon, did you say your stuff was shit? I think you suffer from the impostor syndrome. You could go on a world tour with your shit right now, selling out stadiums.

Because look at them people, what them's going on a world tour with.

This is what they publicly publish on the Internet.

"This should be impossible".

"You need a one-meter hand".

Matt E. Эллен

1m hand piano? your hand has to be a metre wide?

jinx

RegDwigнt

And after four bars they start abbreviating the piano as "harpsichord".

You cannot possibly be as shit as that.

So where's the first venue you'll be playing, I wanna buy a ticket.

@MattE.Эллен that's not even the worst stuff I've seen on MuseScore in the last ten minutes.

Now imagine being on there for a full year.

Matt E. Эллен

that's easy. I don't know anything about music, so I would be posting "uh, hey, can you turn that into drum tabs?"

RegDwigнt

11:44

I think they composed that as drum tabs. But then pressed the "harpsichord" button by accident.

Matt E. Эллен

lol

RegDwigнt

Wouldn't be the first time this week.

Also look at the wonderful title "Title", and them crediting themselves as "Composer".

@MattE.Эллен also, Matt, and I am sorry for correcting your English, but they are not saying your hand has to be a metre wide; they are saying your hand has to be a one-metre wide piano.

You need a 1-meter piano as a hand.

At least that's what they recommend.

Matt E. Эллен

rofl

M.A.R.

Too much Mary Ann Shelley

RegDwigнt

I am tempted to comment, "I don't know what you're talking about, looks playable to me. Though I haven't tried." That would be a par-for-the-course type of MS comment.

Anyway, guys. I know ELU sometimes makes you feel like losing all faith in humanity. All I'm saying here, you've not really lost an ounce of your faith until you leave ELU for a minute to see what else is out there.

M.A.R.

11:56

16-year-old girl looking for Twitter followers swearing at adults?

It's probably ancient history by now though, in Sanskrit

RegDwigнt

Yeah she's 16 years too late to that party.

M.A.R.

0

Q: Why thank you?! Used in a sarcastic, upset way

Hey guys I've upset Hermione again, I need your help. Shes been saying this Why thank you for blindly forgetting our anniversary Ron. Why do people use "why thank you" in a negative way as well as a positive way? I need to know. I think Hermione's gonna blow a gasket if I dont find out.

grammar

Someone has some time on their hands and is using it very productively

RegDwigнt

12:19

WTF is with that answer. Look at the name, too.

One Ron Weasley talking to another. Both fresh accounts.

Paganini in gypsy jazz style

►

Wait for it.

M.A.R.

Why thank you, Captain Obvious

RegDwigнt

@M.A.R. why do people use "Captain Obvious" to mean "Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire"?

I think Hermione's gonna blow a gusset if I don't find out.

And are there other phrases used the same way? I need to know.

M.A.R.

It's just an Americanism

RegDwigнt

Why thank you.

M.A.R.

Captain Cook

I mean, my abstract selfie says a lot

RegDwigнt

12:24

Your selfie is neither a captain nor a cook. You're just pulling our legs now.

M.A.R.

It's a pirate thing, pulling legs

RegDwigнt

It's just Hitler in a hat.

With shades on.

M.A.R.

Why do you think the captain cuts his own leg off

RegDwigнt

Why do you think I think anything about that.

I should think you should think that I don't.

M.A.R.

It's thinkable

As opposed to what the British navy has done

@RegDwigнt Not my best pose, OK

RegDwigнt

12:25

The British navy has done fuck all except lose all the colonies.

M.A.R.

And it was a X-ray scanner

RegDwigнt

An, you pineapple.

M.A.R.

That's insensitive to cancer patients with hair loss

You toxic bro culture

RegDwigнt

Anyway. Many things are thinkable but that doesn't mean they should be things. Case in point: MuseScore.#

M.A.R.

-3

Q: Chemistry Stack Exchange has a problem with unpleasant bro culture. How can this be changed?

My colleagues and I have had a few unpleasant experiences lately at Chemistry Stack Exchange. I have two colleagues who won't visit Chemistry anymore, so I asked a question myself and experienced the exact same sort of unpleasantness that they have. I have also seen many other examples that oth...

support

RegDwigнt

12:27

@M.A.R. I am sorry, did you just refer to me as "you"? I prefer "they", thanks very much.

@M.A.R. uh, just engage a couple pleasant bros instead.

M.A.R.

Uh, I'm not sure I want that

If they do, more power to them

RegDwigнt

Also, why is there a Chemistry Exchange. Isn't that NSFW.

2

M.A.R.

Only if you take it to be a dating site

I've had my eyes on a molecule for a while

RegDwigнt

Good title though. Taking "I have a problem with X" and then rewording it as "your site has a problem with X". No it doesn't. Which is why the X is on there in the first place.

M.A.R.

Stirring up shit is now a profitable business

RegDwigнt

12:30

Someone's gotta do it.

M.A.R.

You should know.

If you have a piano for hand

RegDwigнt

I should and I do.

I have a piano for hand and an alpenhorn for a different part of my body.

M.A.R.

Toe nails? Ha

This is why I won't get musicians and composers

RegDwigнt

Toe nails are not a part of your body. That's why you keep cutting them off.

@M.A.R. no, you won't get musicians because they have a bro culture you find unpleasant.

M.A.R.

Get away from me, hey they bro

RegDwigнt

12:33

Hey now. Bros before hos.

If you do prefer hos, I can recommend some brick-and-mortar establishments.

M.A.R.

But we should sit down and fix it! First step: Call music notes with elephant trunk references

That way it's inoffensive to everybody

RegDwigнt

How many elephant trunk references are there?

We'd need 88.

M.A.R.

I dunno, there's LOTR and Dumbo and

RegDwigнt

Well that's almost three.

M.A.R.

Homogeneity has a cost, OK

RegDwigнt

12:35

Everything has a cost, ok. There is no such thing as a homogeneous breakfast.

M.A.R.

There is

Why do you think food supplements are the hot thing since

Facebook or something

RegDwigнt

Call it by an elephant trunk reference for me to understand.

M.A.R.

🐘

RegDwigнt

Why thank you.

M.A.R.

Your sarcasm is hurting my feelings. Flagged.

A culture of toxic bromine is not to be tolerated

At least chlorine kills faster

RegDwigнt

12:40

Try Uranus.

That is an element, right?

I don't know much about chemistry. Their culture is too bro for me.

M.A.R.

Queued for 122.

RegDwigнt

Is that like Catch-22 but 1 better?

M.A.R.

Well Chemist bros needs entertainment, OK

Going jogging. TTYL

RegDwigнt

Full disclosure: I don't visit chemistry cuz I studied it.

If you have to visit Chemistry, it's too late.

You can't learn English by visiting ELU.

CYA

Sep 7 '18 at 17:02, by RegDwigнt

Futurama, Molten Boron

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English Language & Usage: Multi-Layer…