@Mitch I actually watched Titanic. I wonder what I gave it. Maybe a 3?

What is the name of the woman who wouldn't let him survive? Smiled as she watched him sink into the cold dark abyss?

Haha, a 2.

See. I know myself well.

@RegDwigнt Kinda long. Pretty predictable. Always shows its punches. Or however you say it.

I might give it a 3 today because of James Horner.

Lol, Con Air

@Mitch no, it's not that. It's that it's rubbish.

My funniest Nicholas Cage scene is when he points at a monkey and laughs

Was that Ghostrider?

@RegDwigнt Wait... YT remembers all your rankings? And you actually rank things?

@Mitch we're talking IMDb here.

Also, since when can you watch Titanic on YouTube?

@RegDwigнt Well, that's no reason to denigrate the engineer's work.

The Taking of Pelham 123 is mediocre, but not that bad, I guess.

@Mitch which is why it's not a 1.

I keep the 1 for atrocities like Cat in the Hat.

@RegDwigнt heavy sigh OK, same things I said but replace YT with IMDB.

@M.A.R. have you seen the original?

@M.A.R. The book was much better.

The remake was nauseating because it was the first movie where I consciously noticed that in every shot the camera was moving.

Wha, it's a remake?

@RegDwigнt The song about hats is pretty good.

That I didn't know

Once you see it, you cannot unsee it.

chooses not to see it the first time specifically for that fact

It was meh so I didn't check it out further.

Like, two people would just sit and talk to each other, and only for like ten seconds, but the camera would spin around them like it's fucking Matrix.

Horrible hot garbage.

goddamit I clicked on that link and now I can't leave.

Unstoppable is underwhelming

The Watch, Gawd, take my life.

Like Michael Bay movies

I can't even remember the last movie I can't remember.

Which goes without saying.

But is a good thing to remember.

The original was with Walter Matthau. And it was a completely different movie. Very slow-paced.

Lol, how can you hate Brendan Fraser.

It's rude to the maker to hate wax sculptures.

??? I thought that was Jim Carrey?

@Mitch Pelham might have been the turning point for me when I started noticing, and avoiding, Bay.

Or are we talking about the Matrix now?

Like, I watched a whole lot of his stuff prior to that. The Rock. The Island. All the other ones as well.

I'm talking about whatever Reg has oned.

@RegDwigнt My condolences

@RegDwigнt The first Transformer movie I had to close my eyes to watch about halfway through because it hurt my eyes with all the CGI metal shards flying everywhere.

@Mitch Heh, did you watch the third?

But the script was italian chef kiss mmmwwaaa!

@M.A.R. I told you, I can't remember.

@Mitch I watched the first two. Closed my eyes halfway through the third one. Haven't watched any of the rest.

I agree with you there.

maybe it was #2 that I closed my eyes.

Maybe. Even Michael Bay can't tell them apart.

again, I can't tell because 1) I can't remember and 2) my eyes were closed

Which was the one with the explos... oh yeah all of them.

Anyway. The best movie is Heat, and if you have not watched it, you have not existed.

You hated Watchmen, heh

With a passion.

I wish I could give that one a -1000.

I've never seen it in full but you'd gain the wrath of my little brother.

It's Zack Snidey Snyder. What do you expect.

Has your little brother even read the comics. Does he even know they exist.

Name just one movie on 2019 that was not a sequel or part of a series or franchise that was good...OK since 2010.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

The part that I've seen were meh, probably not 1 star.

@RegDwigнt He does, he kinda doesn't care. I know, probably no Rorschach of the comics is present in the movie and that's a letdown

@RegDwigнt Oh. I suppose Inglorious Basterds was OK.

@M.A.R. yes there were quite a few parts that were meh. Between all the other parts that were 1 star.

@Mitch Whiplash. Reg would probably hate it though.

OUATIHollywood only just came out in theaters, so your game is up mister.

@M.A.R. I liked Rorschach a lot in the movie. He was the one reason I made it through the entire thing.

@M.A.R. which one was that? The roller derby girls?

@Mitch Angry J.K.Simmons.

The Watchmen was boring.

@M.A.R. With the drumming?

@M.A.R. I have not watched Whiplash actually. But I know enough about it that I'm quite sure I would rate it below 5.

It's your run-of-the-mill highschool football movie except they replaced football with jazz.

Oh

wait..

no don't wait

I don't know the second thing about orchestras or jazz so I just replaced the object being followed with, what, science or whatever.

@RegDwigнt Come on, it's unfair to say it was just another teen flick.

That is not what I'm saying at all.

It's not a teen flick.

All novels are young adult novels

And yeah, no one knows what's different about it unless they've watched it.

Hehe, you hate Iron Man 1. My brother is your mortal enemy.

Suits me fine.

Brothers Karamazov? No one identifies with the idiot dad. It's all about which of the four barely out of their teens you identify with. If you're a girl, pfft, what a bunch of idiot boys.

It does get a bit clunky when it's trying to imitate real-life.

So I'm guessing you're a strict realist.

I have to thank Iron Man 1, Thor 1, and Captain America 1 for saving me quite a lot of money. Because after watching these I never watched a Marvel movie again.

@M.A.R. Iron Man I is OK, because it was the first one.

A bit unfair considering some of the better themes are explored later.

But I guess if you can't connect to the characters those wouldn't be fun anyway.

@M.A.R. that's like saying "Final Fantasy X is horrible, but gets much better after you've played for 20 hours". You do realize that's not a point in its favor?

Also, what kind of surgeon would make an artificial heart that leaches toxic chemicals into your blood stream? Totally unrealistic.

I really liked Winter Soldier's themes about surveillance and freedom. It sounded like it took The Dark Knight's concepts and expanded on them. At least then.

@Mitch But he wasn't one.

@M.A.R. I can connect to the characters. Which is why I watched those movies in the first place. I watched the 1980s Captain America in a cinema as a kid. In the Soviet Union. It was awesome.

Also, that's probably the whole medical sciences when they don't know or care about something.

@M.A.R. There are themes? What kind of child cried for Iron Man at his funeral? Good riddance and he got what he deserved. One last act of charity for helping to save the universe doesn't fix what a dick he was all the time.

Not Endgame. Winter Soldier is, like, in the middle or something.

It did get too much about the story and the fans close to the end.

He wasn't just a dick. He was also a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.

@RegDwigнt Wha? There are 1980's Capn America?

With marble wars and stuff.

@Mitch there are 1930s Capn America.

@Mitch I'm assuming 3 dev adam

@RegDwigнt Jesus, you remember that line and you say you're not a fan.

See, I watch all the movies. So when I say I have not watched a movie, you really understand hot damn, that really means something.

@RegDwigнt A slightly more dickish Elon Musk with a goatee and smokes weed in private.

I guess I also remember the details of meta rants way better.

@M.A.R. I remember all the lines in this chat. That doesn't mean that I'm a fan of whoever said them, or of SE as a whole.

@RegDwigнt You've also watched some shit that I could never ever get myself to watch, so I guess self-hype is a good thing.

I can meta-rant the shit out of all this.

See what I did there?

Underworld: Evolution. Like WTF.

@Mitch You shat?

@M.A.R. well yes. I make a point by specifically watching movies that I know for a fact I won't like. Because I don't want to be a dickwad who just says "meh that shit sucks". I want to have an informed opinion that I can argue.

And that's the real reason we can be friends.

@M.A.R. Kate Beckinsale is a bae tho.

Her Russian is kinda rubbish, but I kinda love her nonetheless.

Conventional take: the remake of Total Recall with Colin Firth was better than the original with Arnold S.

Still, Underworld was a clear 1, and only got worse from there.

@Mitch I saw both.

I still remember many of the lines from the original. I do not remember a single thing from the remake.

Except that Bryan Cranston was in it.

@Mitch Colin Firth is a bloody genius. Colin Farrell is a hit-and-miss kinda guy, but I like him

and your opinion about KB (avoiding spelling) in TR?

But I don't actually remember Bryan Cranston in it.

You should see him in Daredevil. Real comedy

@M.A.R. Exactly

@M.A.R. which Daredevil?

@RegDwigнt That's how good he is.

The one where he played Target?

I saw that one.

Haha IKR.

Even though I hate that hideous Jennifer Garner.

Her ears are bigger than Dumbo's.

"Bullseye heheh" I love that gesture

That is very distracting.

Also not a fan of Afflecks except maybe in Gone Girl though not really no.

Who was the other woman in TR? The one who is anti-vax but otherwise physically indistinguishable from KR?

Have you seen Gone Baby Gone?

Which is which?

No it's on my list.

Ben Affleck has been is so much mediocre stuff that I like Casey more.

It's on my hard drive, even.

And I can forget that crap with Eddie Murphy. The Heist or whatever it was called.

@M.A.R. Good Will Hunting was alright. Not as alright as everyone pretends it was, but it was alright.

@Xanne Name film that is actually good, not some crap like these guys are saying.

@M.A.R. Prince of Zamunda?

@RegDwigнt Heh, you mean the righteous woman who wants to beat up a blind guy on the street?

You should totally watch Prince of Zamunda.

Instead of reporting him to the police for harassment

@RegDwigнt It was OK. The real character in that movie was Boston all along.

@M.A.R. well beating up a helpless cripple I can see past. I can't see past her ears, though.

@Mitch that's what they say. It started the Boston craze.

Though Boston is nothing like the movie would have you believe.

The League of Extraordinary Visual Effects is dumb, right.

Oh fuck me that one was such a letdown.

Really? On the tourist tours in Boston they have one for movies. And it has like 4 stops and it's just Good Will Hunting.

I so wanted to see it, and then it was such a turd. Fuuuuuck.

Like, it's just normal dumb. Not Snakes on a Plane dumb. I can't get how people make so many memes out of it.

@Mitch Boston has started appearing in a whole lotta movies after that.

2-Headed Shark Attack? LMAO

Snakes on a Plane was meh. Watch Sharknado 1 through 3 first. Then don't watch Snakes on a Plane.

Reading YouTube comments is a more productive use of your time, but I'm not gonna rub it in your face much.

@M.A.R. I have watched all them movies. Sand shark. Ice shark. Sharktopus. All of them. All of them.

I used to work right across the street from where a couple scenes in The Departed was filmed. All I can think of during those scenes is "Hey, that's the ugly building I used not care about when I used to work across the street from it"

Haven't rated all of them, though.

@RegDwigнt I've only just seen Samuel Jackson swearing. That's gotta do.

@Mitch Departed was a horrible letdown as well. The original is much better.

@Mitch oh shoot, where they killed Queenan?

And I hate fucking morons who say things like "the original is much better". Fuck them.

But yeah. The original was much better.

Yeah, um, OK.

You should also watch The Raid one and two while you're at it.

Nothing beats DiCaprio dealing with his mental problems.

DiCaprio only ever plays DiCaprio.

@M.A.R. I don't know if that bldg even exists any more. It's in the 'Seaport' district or what they call the 'Innovation Hub' which means they tear down ancient warehouses that nobody was using because they figure it would make them a lot of money and build skyscrapers that no one uses and everybody is losing money because the rent is so high.

Kinda like George Clooney only ever plays George Clooney.

Or Statham plays Statham

That is his strength, though.

Except with Guy Ritchie

@M.A.R. But yeah...near there.

@RegDwigнt Right, those are some donkey kicks

That's why Transporter and Snatch and Crank were all awesome. Because of Statham.

Meeeh OK.

Snatch is awesome

Statham has really matured as an actor since those days.

But DiCaprio just plays himself eating a fish even though he's a vegetarian. And that gets him an Oscar. Tom Hardy was robbed.

I wish he did more of that

@Mitch One of my favorites is Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I also liked Clockwork Orange.

Hobbs and Shaw

@RegDwigнt Oscars are kinda phony when the actor is too good, TBH.

Same goes for director.

I am a vegetarian and I can film myself eating sushi. Doesn't make my fake American accent anywhere on par with that of Hardy's.

@Xanne that is one weird mix. But okay.

I can't help but think they're all like "Oh yeah, he keeps being awesome, one of these films he's gonna get an Oscar. Let's give it to someone else instead"

But he wasn't even competing with DiCaprio, to be fair.

@Xanne MMS is OK. I think as a youth I thought CO was great and then watched parts of it recently and it was kinda disturbing. Even though it's almost 2020 and a rom-com isn't complete nowadays without somebody drowning a cat.

@M.A.R. That's the to be unfair part really.

He stole the movie from Leo.

He should have been nominated for Lead, not Supporting.

But that's precisely why he wasn't.

That's how they work around these things.

That is such a you thing to say.

Not really. I don't give a shit about the Oscars. It's just the only thing that I still watch on TV.

I don't watch it.

I watch it for the advertisements

I watch it to see all the horrible movies nobody has ever heard of and never will again.

Your one stars are a bit more disagreeable (I found three things to disagree with as opposed to your 10s)

Like, quick without looking, what movie won this year?

Green something. Nobody remembers already.

@M.A.R. Wait.. and you can see -other- people's ratings? That's a bit intrusive.

That was an Oscar hunter film.

Oscar bait.

Oscar bait hunter

Well yeah it sorta was, but it was sorta lazy even at that.

That's the thing. Them's not even trying anymore.

unlikes My Little Pony: Magic the Gathering

Sand Sharks Lol. I do know why you watched it.

But I dunno then why you rated it on a different basis

@M.A.R. some of the 1s could be 2s or 3s from the time where I would occasionally lower my rating if others had rated the movie unnecessarily highly.

@RegDwigнt That was totally predictable. Everything about it. Except it wasn't hardly about the Green Book.

I wised up and stopped doing that very quickly, but I can't vow that I went and revised all my ratings from the time before.

@RegDwigнt Heh, that's one of the things I'd never get over with. So that explains your Iron Man rating.

@M.A.R. I rate all movies on the exact same basis.

A recent movie that sucks, IMHO, is Farewell. Probably a chick-flick, though.

@RegDwigнt You can't be expected to be consistent about such things.

@M.A.R. no, that one is actually a 1 for me. I found Thor better. And Thor was a 1.

Well, building a frigging mech in a cave was suspension of disbelief enough for me, so I forgave the childish portray of terrorists.

@Xanne prepares to clear throat, thendecides not to

Again, these are all very recent movies. I am not doing this thing anymore.

@RegDwigнt So, why did you not like Fast 1?

I rate for myself not for others.

Sounds a bit inconsistent with the Machismo driven stuff that you rated highly

@M.A.R. Fast what? The original Fast and Furious?

But I mean, since when have people been consistent.

@M.A.R. Right. Totally unsanitary.

@RegDwigнt Yeah that's what the 1 implies

@M.A.R. I am consistent. If you think I am not, you're applying the wrong metric, not me.

Appollo 11 (2019) is a terrific documentary.

@Mitch If I had my kidney transplant in a cave, I'd have died in two days. It was Stark's frigging heart

@RegDwigнt OK, OK, we can still disagree and be friends. Like my posts 👍

@Xanne Akwafina is not exactly a great actress, but she is extremely likeable.

If you think I rate based on Machismo, and then my ratings disagree with that, then certainly that's not an indication of inconsistency on my part, but rather an indication that your theory is wrong to begin with?

@RegDwigнt No not because of that, of course

You're not that kinda guy.

It was a metric common enough in the posts similar to Fast 1 that I probably think I saw in your high rated movies.

@Xanne Oh yeah, the one with 'never before seen' stuff.

Just because Commando was a good movie, does not mean that the Expendables was.

Boy, you do hate X-men.

Same for Crank vs Fast and Furious.

Don't blame you.

The dumbest timeline in the timeline of timelines

@Mitch It was so long for what it did. And the grandmother didn’t die after all.

@RegDwigнt Aha yeah, that one I don't get

@M.A.R. Well, Stark is practically an Elon Musk right there in the comics, so I'd expect at least being able to jerry rig his own pacemaker and implant it himself.

@M.A.R. I watched the original one in the theatre. Didn't hate it at all but didn't like it either. Didn't know that they would make a second one. But then they made 20 second ones.

Logan was alright. Not as alright as everyone says. But alright.

What do you think about the new MIs?

Mission Impossible

I watched the first four or five.

I love the first one.

@RegDwigнt Well, that one, I think, was a masterpiece.

@RegDwigнt Fast and The Furious is great because it is almost word for word/scene for scene the hot rod version of...

I love Seymour Philipp Hoffman in the third one and hate absolutely everything else about it.

Point Break

That's because I'm maybe too familiar with Mangold's style?

I like Simon Pegg but I don't like him in MI.

@M.A.R. it certainly was by X-Men standards.

Fight Club I found fascinating but had to turn it off before it was over.

Comedic relief gets shafted

By Mangold's standards it was middle of the road.

I mean, same goes for The Nice Guys. There's lots of nuances that need your familiarizing with the director's style and would go amiss unless you watch the thing lots of times

@Xanne then you literally didn't watch the movie.

@Xanne The Jordan Peterson of dude movies.

@RegDwigнt He's a marketing strategy, and a bit too bland for Simon Pegg, but doesn't stop me from smiling

If Jordan Peterson were a movie he'd be Rashomon.

@RegDwigнt 90%.

@RegDwigнt Hehe right on-spot

@M.A.R. Simon Pegg is awesome when he's at the helm. Look what he did to Star Trek. It's a miracle. But in MI he has no control at all. Not even over his own character.

Or spot-on

@RegDwigнt Yeah, which is why he's bland

In MI, I mean

If Magnificent Seven is the Seven Samurai of westerns, then what corresponds to the Dirty Dozen?

Tom Cruise is another one of those guys who only ever plays himself. But with Tom Cruise I actually don't mind that.

He should have gotten the Oscar for Rain Man.

When Edge of Tomorrow came out it was literally the best movie of that decade.

You mean this one

Sadly mistitled.

It's not that old ;)

Another thing we can agree about.

@Mitch Hans Zimmer should have never gotten his for Rain Man. Then we'd be spared the horrible BRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHMS in every movie ever now.

Easily forgotten.

Time Travel stuff is ever so inconsistent such a movie was long overdue

@RegDwigнt He did?

I thought he only has one for The Lion King

It was fantastic. Plus I'm deeply in love with Emily Blunt.

What was that movie with Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt where he keeps dying and coming back to life and battling aliens and...

Well it's that movie

She was the most gorgeous thing ever in that other movie, with Matt Damon, what's the name of that one.

@Mitch You'll figure it out tomorrow

Actually I thought Back to the Future was fun.

The Bureau or something?

@RegDwigнt The Adjustment Bureau

@Xanne Back to the Future is a solid 10.

Yeah that was cool too.

@M.A.R. Nice. Thanks pal.

Have you seen A Quiet Place?

@Xanne but old.

@M.A.R. yes that one. Also surprisingly not bad. A bit bland in the end but all around quite refreshing.

A nice compilation of all horror tropes into one.

@M.A.R. no, because she plays alongside her husband in that one and I like to pretend she'll marry me one day.

@M.A.R. In 2049, nothing will have changed from today except for the terrible constant flooding in Miami and we'll watch Blade Runner 2049 like we're in the Matrix.

Blade Runner 2049 was really really good.

@RegDwigнt That's awful

. . . Beverly Hills Ninja . . . I hate Chris Farley.

@M.A.R. wait till you see American Ninja 4. With Michael Dudikoff.

@RegDwigнt Very dusty

Like, is anyone in Hollywood ever a good comedian.

Self-designated comedians suck.

Larry David was.

Then again he never was in Hollywood.

@RegDwigнt Darn right.

The Matrix is a 10 for me.

One of those movies that hits you with a cricket bat.

Also, Larry David is sadly not a good actor at all. He should stick to writing.

@Xanne It's a 10 for everyone

What was that Woody Allen movie he played in?

He just shouted every single line of his. For 90 minutes.

@RegDwigнt Like Seinfeld. The worst acting ever.

That's not acting.

@Mitch Jason Alexander was robbed.

@M.A.R. Matrix II and III together get a -5

Everyone got an Emmy but him.

Two was philosophical. The parts that I got myself to watch.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus deserved hers. Michael Richards definitely deserved his. Jerry Seinfeld couldn't even play himself.

I don't get the hate against that one.

Three was something entirely different.

@RegDwigнt +1

On a side note, if you haven't watched Julia Louis-Dreyfus' acceptance speech for the Mark Twain award, you should.

I don't know why they gave it to Tina Fey first.

Now that bitch is overrated.