English Language & Usage: Multi-Layered Discourse Room

Mitch

21:00

(or lay, I'm leaving that choice up to you)

Færd

The poor cats

Mitch

oh the cats could care less.

and they did

And so at some point, I just didn't bother putting them in the trash.

Færd

You opened new cans for them.

I wonder if you still have the cans as souvenirs.

Mitch

and cat food cans, like any food cans, aren't exactly the cleanest things on the inside, even after you've scooped out the good stuff.

@Færd Wait for it.

Færd

Such a riveting story I can do nothing else

Mitch

21:02

so after a few months I had this pile of greasy cat cans in the corner of my kitchen.

Færd

How did it smell?

Mitch

It didn't really.

Either that says something about my senses (I think I smell pretty good (no pun intended)), or that cat food just doesn't go bad that easily.

Like twinkies

Færd

Hah. And you made can fortresses for the cats to play in?

Mitch

except made of fish meal, assorted variety meats, and some kind of goop..industrially processed aspic.

@Færd No. That's weird.

Færd

What a waste of cans.

Mitch

21:04

The cans always had the pop top still attached (sharp metal)

The cats never played with the cans or seemed to want to get snacks from them.

Smart cats.

@Færd Yes.

Cerberus

@Færd Well, mine is a water trap.

Mitch

so for a few months I had a pile of cans in my kitchen which I ignored entirely.

Cerberus

@Mitch Yeah, I've never been that bad. I don't make a mess; I just don't clean.

Mitch

Until I had a visitor over.

Færd

@Cerberus Mine certainly has one built under the floor.

But the roaches swim thru it like dolphins.

Mitch

21:07

Seeing it through their eyes convinced me that maybe I was harboring a festering colony of pathogens that would eliminate half the population of the world.

Færd

@Mitch Who was it?

Mitch

Also it looked a little weird like I was some homeless person camping out inside a home, lacking any scruples that normal people have, like a working trash can.

Cerberus

@Færd Wow, really!

Færd

@Mitch I guess they would've differ on the smell with you if asked.

Mitch

Except the trashcan was right next to the pile of dirty cans.

Cerberus

21:08

I'm glad we don't really have cockroaches here.

Mitch

Anyway, they'll never find the body

Cerberus

@Mitch I know the feeling!

But harmful pathogens?

That seems unlikely.

Mitch

@Færd The person whose body you'll never ever be able to find.

Cerberus

As long as you don't eat seriously spoiled food, and you don't have large fungal colonies growing inside, I don't see how making a mess could harm your health.

Mitch

@Cerberus Yeah. I' mean if it smelled I would have gotten rid of it. Odorless pathogens are pretty tolerable.

Færd

21:10

@Mitch Maybe under a pile of cans somewhere in a dumping ground.

Mitch

No fungus.

That I could tell.

Cerberus

Then no health risk.

Mitch

@Færd I'm counting on you not wanting to go there.

But for the record, they're not there.

Færd

@Cerberus You know fine life forms are not just what you can see with naked eyes.

Mitch

So now I make sure empty food cans go into the garbage.

Færd

21:13

You bear a burden of guilt.

Cerberus

@Færd But there are no life forms in a messy house that could harm you under the given conditions.

Amongst those conditions are "don't eat seriously spoilt food", "don't have large amounts of fungus growing inside your house".

Færd

Does piling cans come under those conditions?

Cerberus

No.

That's fine.

Mitch

And that kind of self-discipline has led me to be the CEO of a world-spanning product delivery empire. But that discipline has led to marital difficulties.

Cerberus

At least for your health...

Færd

21:15

@Cerberus Mosquitoes can sit on them and then on you.

Mitch

@Færd I bear a burden of not liking gross things.

Cerberus

@Færd But that won't harm you.

Mitch

@Cerberus Also, the five-second rule is a myth

Cerberus

We know what diseases mosquitoes can infect you with, and they aren't from a messy house.

Færd

I don't know.

Cerberus

21:16

I do.

Mitch

Guess how many seconds it is you can wait before picking food dropped the floor safely?

Færd

I know I'm too obsessed.

Cerberus

@Mitch It'll be safe under normal circumstances.

If you live in India, it's a different story.

Mitch

It'll be safe under the normal conditions of never picking it up.

Færd

@Mitch you count till three and throw it away

Cerberus

21:17

Though not inside a normal house.

Mitch

The five second rule is in reality the zero second rule.

as soon as you drop it, there's e coli on it

I make exceptions for dry food of course

Cerberus

In India, you could get cholera from contaminated stuff, but probably only if it gets in your food/water.

Færd

Wow the lines are rippling in front of my eyes.

Mitch

@Færd you shouldn't have eaten that then

Cerberus

In a modern country, you can only get a handful of diseases, mostly mild respiratory ones, like the flu. Which virus you'll get anyway, even if you're very clean.

@Mitch But you won't get sick from that unless there's large quantities of it.

Færd

21:19

@Cerberus Go google "weirdest diseases people get in Holland".

Mitch

@Cerberus I suppose your stomach can kill up to a certain amount.

Færd

That'd make your day.

Cerberus

@Mitch Hah!

Mitch

@Færd I refuse to go there.

Cerberus

@Færd But not from a messy house.

Færd

21:20

@Cerberus No skin diseases at all?

Mitch

It's like expecting a book on dermatology to have pictures of funny rashes but then OMG THAT"S DISGUSTING

Færd

@Mitch I should'be been to bed.

Cerberus

Unless you deliberately smear other people's/animals' poo on things in your house.

@Færd I don't think there are many skin diseases that you can get from touching a mess you've created yourself.

Mitch

@Færd The whole point of chat is to keep you up way to late. It's in the fine print.

which your eyes are too tired to read

@Cerberus stop thinking. stop thinking

ew

I couldn't stop thinking about ways that could wrong

Færd

@Cerberus Some guests of mine who don't know any better come in marching on the carpets with their boots on. Sometimes wet shoes.

Cerberus

21:23

You can get the herpes virus from sharing a glass, but then, just as with the flu virus, you will most probably touch the virus many times a year anyway; some people just don't get sick from the virus while others do. It's not really a matter of avoiding the virus altogether: I don't think that's possible.

Færd

That is not something I can tolerate.

But the difference is that I eat on the floor.

I sleep pretty much on the floor.

Mitch

[blind date] JEFF BEZOS: I brought you flowers HER: Oh thanks. That's very sweet JEFF BEZOS: I see you’ve liked flowers. Perhaps you’d like these other flowers

Tweeted by TheToddWilliams on January 9, 2019 at 4:49 PM

Cerberus

@Færd But the problem is not health. It's aesthetics, rather.

Færd

That too,

Cerberus

@Mitch Hah.

Mitch

21:24

@Cerberus puts down glass

Færd

I want my carpets clean.

Mitch

@Cerberus Esthetics? Like dying is just so outré?

Cerberus

Exactly.

Færd

@Cerberus It's a matter of shrinking the possibility.

@Mitch Do I need to know Amazon ads to get that?

Cerberus

Or at least, as the intercom in Theme Hospital continuously reminds people: "Message to all patients: please try not to die in the corridors. Thank you!".

@Færd But those easily transmissible diseases have nothing whatsoever to do with a messy house.

They don't grow on food or objects.

They grown only in people.

Færd

21:28

I'm taking it easier than before.

Maybe I'll reach there and understand you. But right now it's just jibber-jabber.

Mitch

@Færd Whenever you buy something on amazon, afterwards you always get suggestions, while looking for other things, about similar things to what you've bought before. and sometimes he suggestions are silly because the thing you bought is usually a one-time or long-term purchase.

Færd

I can't imagine crumbs on my carpets or too much dust on the tiles.

Cerberus

Most Westerners, especially Americans, have some degree of mysophobia.

Don't be such a person.

@Færd As long as it is because of aesthetics and pests, rather than irrational fears of disease.

Mitch

@Cerberus I'm thinking I'll suggest to your parents to get you a housecleaner for your birthday. Just once.

Færd

@Mitch Ah thanks I guessed as much

Cerberus

21:30

Cleaners don't clean herpes, influenza or the cold virus (does it have a Latin name?).

Mitch

@Cerberus rhinovirus

so no.

Færd

@Cerberus I'm getting there.

At least I should be easier on my guests.

But it takes time.

Mitch

crumbs attract mice

and mice are cute

or on the other hand could be a source of food for your cat

you win however it works out

didn't the netherlands historically have a mosquito and malaria problem?

Færd

What birds do you allow to clean out your ears?

Mitch

what with all the wetness

Cerberus

21:33

@Mitch Ah, yes. Poor rhinos.

@Færd Hilarious.

Mitch

@Cerberus Rhinos are actual unicorns except they're not as photogenic as the sparkling rainbow ones so people don't realize it.

Cerberus

@Mitch Mice pee and poop around the house, from which you could possibly get toxoplasmosis, if you eat the poo.

So don't eat mouse poo.

Mitch

@Cerberus Only because you are saying it, will I take that advice.

Cerberus

@Mitch Mm we have always had lots of mosquitos. Malaria, I don't know. Isn't it too cold here?

Mitch

Otherwise...

Cerberus

21:35

I know it's difficult for you.

Færd

@Cerberus You should visit and see for yourself.

@Cerberus Zackly. And why would you have mice in your home?

Crumbs.

Cerberus

I'm not sure I would dare!

Mitch

@Cerberus that's my prejudice, that it's too cold for any kind of mosquito. but I read once something something malaria mumble mumble wetlands mumble up north.

Cerberus

@Færd True. But if you shield the actual food you've still to eat from the mice, you won't eat their poo.

Mitch

@Cerberus what if they poop in little crumbly bits that look like crumbs, convincing you that it looks like crumbs you could eat?

Færd

21:37

I'm glad I had this conversatoin.

Mitch

You're welcome

It's a service

Færd

It really must make a deep impact on me. I'm rolling in the deep at the moment.

Mitch

But you should really clean up.

Færd

The first steps of curing phobia is to confront it and talk about it.

Mitch

@Færd You could have had it all

@Færd What if you're a soldier and you have a fear of being shot in the face?

Maybe if you talk more about it, your commanding officer will tell you to walk backwards into battle.

Færd

21:40

They do away with your fear by washing your brain.

But I still think it's not all phobia or obsession.

Mitch

You'll avoid the face shooting, it'll really confuse the enemy, and you'll always see where you just came from.

Færd

I'm not planning to go to war.

Just to sleep.

Laterz.

Cerberus

@Mitch It seems that we have always had some malaria here, but it was never a huge problem, possibly because 1.) it was much colder than in Africa, which inhibits the growth of moquitoes and parasite, and 2.) there was some degree of immunity.

Then it was eradicated with quinine, DT, and good healthcare practice.

@Mitch You shouldn't eat stuff that has been lying on the floor for a day if you have mice.

@Færd Good!

Sleep well.

Mitch

@Cerberus Another good piece of advice that I will now strt to follow only because it was you who told me.

Cerberus

22:05

@Mitch I truly am a fount of wisdom.

There, another bit of precious information divulged to you.

It keeps flowing.

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