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10:00 AM
@MattЭллен No result found
 
See.
 
user116848
Hah
 
Masons are secret.
 
table flip
!!wiki Fortnum and Mason
 
Fortnum & Mason (colloquially often shortened to just "Fortnum's") is a department store situated in central London, with an additional store at St Pancras railway station, and various stockists worldwide. Its headquarters is located at 181 Piccadilly, where it was established in 1707 by William Fortnum and Hugh Mason. It is privately owned by Wittington Investments Ltd. Fortnum & Mason is recognised internationally for its high quality goods and as an iconic British symbol. It has held many Royal Warrants over the past 150 years. Founded as a grocery store, Fortnum's reputation w...
 
user116848
10:00 AM
 
user116848
Fortnum and Mason
 
Not Saint Pancreas again.
 
user116848
Ah found it
 
user116848
Kinda cheesy don't you think this "Mason"?
 
Only Mark Twain slaves ever say "mason". Proper British people say "my son".
 
10:02 AM
:D
 
user116848
haha
 
Which is why it's shortened to just Fortnum's.
Painting over inconvenient facts.
 
user116848
So this is different from free masons? Right? lol
 
Again, "free masons" is improper English for "let my people go".
 
"Mason" as a surname will inevitably be related to mason meaning "stone worker"
and free masons were all initially stone workers
 
user116848
10:05 AM
I see
 
Don't get me started on masonines.
And masonleums.
 
and the mason dixon line
oh, that's a real thing, nevermind
 
It's only called the mason dixon line because calling it the masoff dixoff line would've been too communist.
 
mace on, mace off. paint the fence
 
I'm firmly off the fence.
 
10:09 AM
you'll get paint on your legs
 
That's spelled Paintone.
 
oh, you said "off", nevermind, again
 
I even wrought it.
 
Like iron ore
 
I will never like iron ore.
Well, not in the next six years anyway.
 
10:11 AM
what happens in six yearS?
 
I might start liking iron ore.
Also, Germany wins the UEFA Cup.
But the former is more important.
 
well done, Germany.
 
Yeah nobody will care because ore.
 
very imporetant to have iron in your diet
 
That's one heavy diet.
In fact, one pound of iron is heavier than one pound of fat.
 
10:14 AM
but it's easier to grease a pig with the fat
 
Not all nations are into greasing pigs.
In fact, it's a rather quirky hobby.
 
I guess I'll just leave it to Pauline
 
!!wiki greasing pigs
 
@skullpatrol The Wikipedia contains no knowledge of such a thing
 
lol
being coy, now, eh, Jarvis?
 
10:24 AM
!!google greasing pigs
 
!!wiki pig wrestling
 
Pig wrestling or "wrasslin' " (also known as pig scramble and with the variants hog wrestling and greased pig catching) is a type of game sometimes played at agricultural shows such as state and county fairs, in which contestants, usually children or young adults, try to grab a slippery pig. In the most common version of the game, a team of four members chases a domestic pig around a fenced-off mud pit and attempts to place it in a barrel, in a race against the clock. In some events the pigs are d with vegetable or mineral oil in order to make catching the pig more difficult. Rules Rule...
 
!!youtube greased pig contest
 
10:28 AM
Is this your second favourite sport after American Football, @skullpatrol?
 
If we use the same word for different things, people complain. If we use different words for different things, people complain. — RegDwigнt ♦ 59 mins ago
What a complainer.
 
10:44 AM
Nah, what an observer.
 
I guess that makes you coplaner
 
You're a font.
 
a font of knowledge!
 
10:50 AM
I only know that because it's the house style of my employer.
 
11:00 AM
@AndrewLeach So what is Bunte? Comic Sans?
 
c c
I guess it's incorrect to say: "I was surprised to not find this thing..." ? :)
 
@Rob, they have an ELU-chat-ping @1:52
 
@cc seems OK to me
 
c c
Oh! , ok
 
@MattЭллен I'd say "not to find" there.
 
c c
11:07 AM
@Robusto yes was hesitating
 
I would not say either because I was not surprised.
Still, all three are equally grammatical.
 
@Robusto I don't object to either
 
c c
and also worried the only correct form would be the verbose: "I was surprised that I couldn't find ..."
 
@JohanLarsson I think you just got pung there. I didn't hear any such thing.
 
@cc There is literally never only one correct form.
 
11:09 AM
"I was ultimately very surprised, astonished even, that finding this thing was something that I simply could not do for the life of me."
 
But some forms are better, especially in certain situations or registers, than others.
 
c c
ok :))
 
I didn't think, therefore I wasn't. Including surprised.
@Robusto of which neither has been supplied, or is about to be supplied, or will be supplied in the foreseeable future, or ever.
 
@RegDwigнt That's why you have to be good at something in order to, well, be good at it.
 
Yeah.
 
11:10 AM
We discover the rules as we go along, most of the time seconds after we break them.
 
Same with vases.
 
Gimme a break.
 
Leg? Neck? Instructions unclear.
 
Promises, or your word, as usual.
 
Promises of no more lies fell flat upon an empty stage before the audience arrived.
 
11:14 AM
Empty stages are always flat. It's in the rules.
 
As usual costs extra.
 
You can also break some rules if you like.
 
But not without making an omelette.
 
Fuck, I'm sitting here trying to work and once again I'm not getting the right data from the back end. Man, these people hang on to their data like it was money.
 
People with no real money have to hang on to surrogates.
 
11:16 AM
wonders if surrogate is a verb
 
Surrogate is a Bruce.
 
c c
!!define surrogate
 
That is super-surrogatory.
 
@cc surrogate A substitute (usually of a person, position or role).
 
That's Sir Rogate to you.
 
c c
11:18 AM
Verb[edit]
surrogate (third-person singular simple present surrogates, present participle surrogating, simple past and past participle surrogated)
(transitive) To replace or substitute something with something else; appoint a successor.
Synonyms[edit]
deputize, foster, replace, subrogate, substitute
 
Sir, a goat
 
I shall deputize and foster.
 
I know it's a verb. I just was making a joke about Reg's use of it. We make jokes in chat a lot. You may frequently whoosh.
 
You must not whoosh infrequently.
 
I wasn't asking for permission.
 
11:20 AM
@Robusto and of course you will say that now.
And you are even right and true. Of course now you know it.
 
c c
But I didn't know it was a verb, even unsure of its sense :)
 
It's like to swim, only different.
 
@RegDwigнt Yes. I did not understand English until you arrived in chat.
When we say hair in English we mean head hair unless something else is specified: arm hair, pubic hair, whatever. — Robusto 4 mins ago
 
@Robusto Why do you waste my time with telling me scientific facts?
 
c c
!!urban whoosh
 
11:21 AM
@cc [whoosh](http://whoosh.urbanup.com/898836) Single word exclamation, accompanied by a gesture where the hand is swept palm down over the head from front to back with about three inches clearance.

Indicates that the joke just told was too sophisticated for the listener and has gone "way over their head".

Sometimes comes to mind when reading feedback on Urban Dictionary quality control.
 
@Robusto but what do you do if you mean arm chair?
 
We heard you like hair, so we put hair in your hair so you can hair while you hair
 
Stop putting on hairs.
See, a Brit like Matt will pronounce that "airs" and it will be the source of much humor. Excuse me, humour.
 
Hairy hairy lady, going through emotion love is where you find it, listen to your heart.
 
@Robusto but that's where love is
 
11:25 AM
What is this, the '60s? Stop talking about love and start talking about practical things.
Love is nature's way of tricking us into thinking sex has a larger purpose.
 
Nature has no love. It's indifferent.
 
sex is for
a) making babies
b) making money
c) making friends
d) all of the above
 
It doesn't need to trick you into anything, it doesn't give a shilling if you so much as exist.
 
@RegDwigнt If it's indifferent, then it must be the same.
 
lonches!
 
11:28 AM
No, you have to think inflammable.
Again, it's like to swim, just flammable.
 
Déjeuner? I've scarcely had petit-déjeuner.
 
Dejeneur?
 
@RegDwigнt No, no, not inflammable . . . you're thinking of what you do to a pool toy to get it to float. Also what you probably do the pool boy as well.
 
Is that like ingenieur?
Or moteur?
Or saveur?
@Robusto see, in this modern country we have pool girls. While you still s(t)uck in the Middle Ages.
 
@RegDwigнt Hey, I don't spell French good in the morning.
 
11:31 AM
Neither does Ellen Dejeneur.
 
@RegDwigнt We missed the Middle Ages. We found enough ignorance and violence without them, tyvm.
 
Wow, rich shores indeed.
 
Je voudrais parler Anglais, s'il-vous-plait
 
@RegDwigнt Yeah. She's like Whoopi Goldberg: the world conspires to elevate to the empyrean someone who has no talent for humor at all.
Just like George W. Bush, I guess. And Putin.
 
@pipja Donc tu le fais.
 
11:34 AM
Putin and Bush: bookends for fucking up the new millennium.
 
RegDwight hahahaha, my french is too rusty to answer you :P
 
See, and suddenly you're speaking English.
It wurks!
 
but yeah im sitting at this ordinateur trying to claw out some francais mots for you
wait
 
Nous ne parlons pas Anglais.
 
was it mots francais
 
11:35 AM
Neither.
 
mais oui nous nous parlons Anglais
 
For starters, francais is not a word in any language except perhaps Ripuarian.
 
dude i don't have french kb installed
i know what's a c-cedile
 
What do you mean 'oui' whitr man?
 
I can't type for shit this morning.
 
11:36 AM
Cette salle est bien incompréhensible !
 
"oui" was actually used to override Robusto's "ne-pas" sentence
oh shit
i was supposed to use "si"
 
Type harder then. And squeeze.
 
@pipja And see how well that worked for you.
 
see my french is too rusty, so i don't care
 
Si. Ne qua non.
 
11:37 AM
My sentence remains, unoverridden.
 
I shall override your sentence in two minutes.
 
dude, last time i used french properly was 20 years ago
 
With life.
 
i'm glad i can still conjugate the goddamn verbs
 
@RegDwigнt You should underwrite it instead.
 
11:37 AM
@pipja we always see our past through pink-tainted glasses.
 
I have conjugal visits with my verbs.
 
RegDwight how true
 
@Robusto kinda hard as you already did that.
 
Rose-tainted, producing a rosy view. Pink-tainted produce a pinko view.
 
Rosebud-tainted.
 
11:39 AM
Oh.
 
@RegDwigнt Loser talk.
 
@Robusto I'd rather lose to you than Putin.
 
Looser talk.
 
The plural of loser is not looser, it's leese.
 
You think your verbs are strong. They're not.
 
11:40 AM
ok not my type of channel
im bailing
 
As an owner of this room, you have to stick to the roules.
 
It's OK. Not everyone can cut it in The Incomprehensible Room.
 
I once cut a bread in there. It was the best thing since sliced bread.
 
Cut it out then
We'll that cut it.
Damn you iPhone!
 
I am not an iPhone. Please do not call me that.
 
11:46 AM
Nobody ever called an iPhone.
 
iPhone -> open hi -> Hi? Nope. -> Oh, I pen.
 
Oh, peni!
> Since nubile is so often used salaciously, this is a particularly zesty male equivalent.
 
user116848
Can I ask a question?
 
How about another one?
 
user116848
Is this sentence okay? "I am an ACCA finalist and would like to submit the enclosed resume for your opening as Trainee accountant at your company".
 
11:58 AM
Sure.
 
user116848
I see
 
user116848
And although I have no relevant experience in the field can I write this? :- " I'm confident that I am fully qualified for the position and would appreciate a job interview".
 
"Just give me money". Short and sweet.
 
user116848
@RegDwigнt haha Very funny
 
In fact, forget about the position and the interview.
 
user116848
12:01 PM
Seriously guys
 
user116848
Mitch you tell me.
 
Well, if you are confident, then yes, you can say you're confident.
 
user116848
@RegDwigнt You are a (pardon me) jerk :)
 
I don't see a problem but then again I'm not in HR.
 
What if you're not sure if you're confident?
 
12:02 PM
@Arrowfar I think you misunderstand. My answers are actual answers.
 
@Arrowfar are you asking us if it's OK to lie?
 
You should take them in the same spirit they are offered.
 
@MattЭллен No he's just wondering if it will be enough to get the interview.
 
And that, ladies and gentlemen, nobody at all can tell.
 
12:04 PM
@Arrowfar He's just messing around.
 
No, in point of fact I am not.
 
user116848
I know :D
 
Can I write this? Yes, you can.
I don't understand how that is messing around.
Or did you expect a no for an answer?
 
user116848
@Mitch He's kinda AH :D
 
@Arrowfar That doesn't sound bad at all. But I'm not used to reading requests of this type.
 
12:05 PM
Nah, Adolf Hitler is long dead.
 
user116848
Its okay. Thanks :)
 
12:18 PM
Actually @MattЭллен American football is my second most favorite sport after heavy weight boxing.
 
@skullpatrol ah! so pig wrassling is your joint second favourite?
 
@MattЭллен sure :D
 
it makes sense, I suppose. They both centre around chasing pig skin in a field
 
yep
isn't the rugby ball made of pig skin?
!!wiki rugby ball
 
A rugby ball is a diamond shape ball usee for easier passing. Richard Lindon and Bernardo Solano started making balls for Rugby school out of hand stitched, four-panel, leather casings and pigs’ bladders. The rugby ball's distinctive shape is supposedly due to the pig’s bladder, although early balls were more plumb-shape than oval. The balls varied in size in the beginning depending upon how large the pig’s bladder was. Until 1870, rugby was played with a near spherical ball with an inner-tube made of a pig's bladder. In 1870 Richard Lindon introduced rubber inner-tubes and because of ...
 
12:21 PM
maybe it used to be. certainly isn't now
pig's bladder! that's what I meant. not pigskin at all
 
Eeewww pig's badder
 
!!american football ball
 
@MattЭллен That didn't make much sense. Use the !!/help command to learn more.
 
!!wiki american football ball
 
You seem to have a thing against non-native speakers. One tenet of ELU is that it is not primarily for fluent or native speakers. Many of our best questions come from NNS's (two of our moderators are NNS's and Matt comes from some island). It might be difficult to ask a good question on ELU if you are not fluent, but fluency is not the demarcation line. See PHenry's answer for a reasonable way to deal with this instead of being xenophobic. — Mitch 28 secs ago
 
12:25 PM
A football is a ball inflated with air that is used to play one of the various sports known as football. In these games, with some exceptions, goals or points are scored only when the ball enters one of two designated goal-scoring areas; football games involve the two teams each trying to move the ball in opposite directions along the field of play. A football is generally a tool of the offense. The first balls were made of natural materials, such as an inflated pig bladder, later put inside a leather cover, which has given rise to the United States slang-term "pigskin". Modern balls are ...
 
@skullpatrol oh! right :D
@skullpatrol it's the same for all footballs
@Mitch ha! You just come from some part of a continent.
 
@MattЭллен well, yeah, better than from an incontinent.
Andrew comes from some dumb island too (probably the same one!)
 
@Mitch oh! you will be
 
Oh... um... gotta go. real bad. BBL
!!afk
 
@Mitch Why are you leaving me!?
 
12:32 PM
@JarvistheBot an awfully mislabeled article if there ever was one.
Clearly it should be labeled Football (egg).
 
why egg?
 
Are you not seeing the image?
 
have you seen an egg?
 
Have you seen a ball?
 
!!wiki egg
 
12:34 PM
An egg is the organic vessel containing the zygote, resulting from fertilization of the ovum, in which an animal embryo develops until it can survive on its own, at which point the animal hatches. Most arthropods, vertebrates, and mollusks lay eggs, although some do not, e.g. scorpions and most mammals. Oviparous animals are those that lay eggs, with little or no other development within the mother. The study or collecting of eggs, particularly bird eggs, is called oology. The term "egg" is used differently outside the animal kingdom. Reproductive structures similar to the egg in othe...
 
!!wiki ball
 
A ball is a round, usually spherical but sometimes ovoid, object with various uses. It is used in ball games, where the play of the game follows the state of the ball as it is hit, kicked or thrown by players. In the context of sports, "ball" need not refer to a spherical object, as is the case in American football. Balls can also be used for simpler activities, such as catch, marbles and juggling. Balls made from hard-wearing materials are used in engineering applications to provide very low friction bearings, known as ball bearings. Black-powder weapons use stone and metal balls as pro...
 
QED.
 
don't "QED" me, you don't even know how to spell QED
 
I don't need to know it, I have a macro.
 
12:36 PM
xkcd.com/853/
(No onebox, just for Reg)
 
Mods can kick mods. Just sayin.
 
I'm out numbered by all these mods :-O
 
Also, it's been posted to this room like thrice by now, and that's on my watch alone.
Why don't you go post a photo of Gorbachov instead.
 
!!wiki gorbachev
 
Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev (; born 2 March 1931) is a former Soviet statesman. He was the seventh and last leader of the Soviet Union, having served as General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union from 1985 until 1991, and as the country's head of state from 1988 until its dissolution in 1991 (titled as Chairman of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet from 1988 to 1989, as Chairman of the Supreme Soviet from 1989 to 1990, and as President of the Soviet Union from 1990 to 1991). He was the only general secretary in the history of the Soviet Union to have been born afte...
 
12:38 PM
See. Now post it two more times and see just how to tears you are bored.
 
Is now a good time to ask for a life time ban?
 
It is always a good time to ask for a life time ban.
 
No cheques accepted.
 
@MattЭллен wanna practice kicking me from the room again?
 
12:41 PM
Again?
As in, you have all the proof in the world that he completely sucks at kicking you for life?
I would look for a more competent executor.
 
yep, him and foxy chose me
 
I'm good, thanks. :)
 
ok, just offering
 
Funny. They have a bot, but they choose to practice on people. So nazi.
Speaking of which, I still can't get used to the Jarvis name.
 
"the bot"
 
12:43 PM
Yeah "Bot the Jarvis" would be a start.
But really, "KitSox" was best.
Short and to the point.
 
not a robotty enough name for some people
 
Then give those people more robotty names.
 
what point?
 
Seven point six.
 
7.6
 
12:45 PM
My point exactly.
Now drive it home.
 
7 ☞ 6
that does not look much like a hand
 
nice one ^
 
at a regular font size
 
7--->6
 
It looks like a chalk stain on the monitor.
 
12:48 PM
 
Crap, I just discovered I confused right and left in an email I sent earlier today.
 
@RegDwigнt What the heck is that, and why is it called "spam"?
> Beste Lezers! Vandaag tonen we u de mooiste foto's van vogels leven op onze planeet:
Dutchfail.
They probably mean "vogelleven".
 
@Cerberus it's their humour/fun/nonsense department. Mostly the latter.
 
I see.
 
But it's the first time they nonsense in Dutch, so I thought I'd mention.
 
12:51 PM
It's kind of funny.
 
Yeah.
 
As far as German humour goes.
 
Humour does not translate to Dutch.
Not even from Deutsch.
 
So the Germans think.
In reality, humour cannot exist in Germany, and doesn't.
 
Nah, trust me, the Germans don't think about Dutch at all.
 
12:52 PM
trusts you
 
They are too busy thinking of themselves.
 
Except during the World Cup
 
The Germans won't be laughing after France gets finished with them in the world cup.
 
@MattЭллен well, what shall we do if the finals is going to be Ger vs. Ned?
Can't help thinking.
But they'd rather not.
 
Who'd rather not what?
 
12:53 PM
Yes.
Next question.
 
Do.
 
Wo?
 
Di.
 
Lady?
 
Penelope.
 
12:54 PM
@skullpatrol yeah it will be rude to laugh about France losing eight to zero.
And Germans are very polite.
 
Thunderbirds are go!
 
@RegDwigнt I'll take that bet
 
That's one orange agent.
@skullpatrol facts are not bets. Not in this room.
 
!!wiki fact
 
12:56 PM
A fact (derived from the Latin factum, see below) is something that has really occurred or is actually the case. The usual test for a statement of fact is verifiability, that is whether it can be demonstrated to correspond to experience. Standard reference works are often used to check facts. Scientific facts are verified by repeatable experiments. Etymology and usage The word fact derives from the Latin factum, and was first used in English with the same meaning: "a thing done or performed", a use that is now obsolete. The common usage of "something that has really occurred or is the ...
 
!!wiki bet
 
Black Entertainment Television (BET) is an American basic cable and satellite television channel that is owned by the BET Networks division of Viacom. It is the most prominent television network targeting African American audiences, and currently reaches more than 90 million households. The channel is headquartered in Washington, D.C.. Programming on the network comprises original and acquired television series, and theatrically- and home video-released movies, along with mainstream rap, hip-hop and R&B music video. As of August 2013, approximately 91,159,000 American households (79.82%...
 
See. QED.
Totally not the same.
 
:D
!!wiki sports gambling
 
@skullpatrol The Wikipedia contains no knowledge of such a thing
 
12:58 PM
Bot spammer.
 
No illegal activities in this Wikipedia.
 
!!define gambolling
 
@MattЭллен gambolling (UK) Present participle of
 
Of what?
We will never know.
 
Sports betting is the activity of predicting sports results and placing a wager on the outcome. It is generally considered to be a form of gambling. Types of bets United States of America Aside from simple wagers such as betting a friend $20 that one's favorite baseball team will win its division, $100 that a college football team will win a bowl game or the national championship, or buying a football "square" for the Super Bowl, sports betting is commonly performed through a bookmaker (bookie) or through various online Internet outlets. The many types of bets include: *Straight Bets ...
 
12:58 PM
never
 
No.
 
@RegDwigнt It's the present participle of.
 
I don't think gamboling is the present participle of sports betting.
I refuse to believe it.
 
It's the present participle of betting on bacterial races, as can be seen in the drawing after "of".
 
12:59 PM
I am not interested in drawings, only in winnings.
 

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