:D

@JimReynolds WHAT?!

@DamkerngT. Instead of 'every' I should have used 'each'

Right?

I think you should rephrase it.

I am friendly. I'm not too friendly. It's dangerous you know...

Like, instead of "my every book", you say, "every book of mine".

And 'my' could be avoided it.

Each of my books

Or even, "every book I have" if you don't want to use my or mine.

My every noun is correct, actually.

@JimReynolds Ah, really?

But it is very formal and not common.

@JimReynolds Your every noun? o.o

So, you can communicate better if you rephrase like they suggest.

@JimReynolds Is it the same with each? (We have a whose each question on the main site.)

Okay!

My each book (I mean, in a very formal occasion.)

No. Can't say my each thing.

My itch book

nods

My every xxxxx is highly formal and we would only use it to achieve a certain style.

Your every wish is my command.

It has a very grand, serious, and traditional feel, perhaps we can say.

But we don't use it normally. So as a practial matter, not to use it is good advice.

Now I'm getting yelled at to go eat my dinner. What a happy thing.

But we hope you come and visit us more!

:D

I am writing a small story for children. I want you people to check that for me and let me know if there is any grammar mistake? It is very small I think just 350 words. It is a task which was given to me by my teacher for small kids. Would you like to help me out or it is not a professional request here?

Enjoy your dinner!

How about you post that, we star your message and let people help edit your story when they want to?

@user62015 It's not a professional request, but @Dam'll help ya. I'm reading something somewhere. I'll come back and help.

@DamkerngT. Was last message for me?

Yes.

Yes.

Fine. So I will post my story on the website and you will mark it star so people will give me feedback on it. Are you sure because they can delete or suspend the post. Should I inform you before I post?

I think it'll be easier for most people if you'll just paste your story here.

@user62015 What?!

No. Post it here!

It has no place on ELL!

In chat?

Yes.

Yes.

@user62015 Copy-paste

Fine. I will ping you guys soon. It would be very small so it does not waste your time.

I understood.

Should @user62015 also post the story at writers SE?

Where?

I am sorry. I have never heard it before?

I'm not sure if Writers.SE is about correction.

I just need grammar correction.

Story does not matter to me.

The way I remember, it's for writers helping writers, like how to do this or that in a story, how to publish a book, how to deal with editors, etc.

Ok. I don't know much about it.

It could be different now. I haven't been on Writers.SE for so long.

I'm sure that there are some professional proofreaders hanging around on the Writers stack. If you're lucky enough, they might help fixing your sentences for free. :P

@JimReynolds No. Writers.SE is about techniques of writing.

I will go there and suggest typing.

:D

Short story, not *small story.

Oh, that reminds me, how short can a short story be?

The shortest?

@DamkerngT. 2 inches long.

O.o

Yes. Let's say... in words.

As long as @MAR's . . .

Is a 100-word story a short story?

<<thinking>>

Can we write a short story in a tweet?

O.O

@JimReynolds Why you!

Once upon the end?

:D

Well I meant a short molecular chain.

Of course.

@JimReynolds That ain't two inches!

Oh.

giggling...

But chemicals' inches are very short.

@JimReynolds Yes. We call them Angstroms.

A chemical's entire ruler is short enough to fit on one of their little desks.

Ahh... "flash fiction" is what it is.

How short can a short short story be?

LOL

7 angstroms?

@JimReynolds 42.

A short short story: Hello! Silence. Hello! Silence. "..."

Once there operated a robot.

He was always concerned about having enough . . .

<Error RAM capacity exceeded.>

T_T

It's a 16-word short short story about a poor robot!

@DamkerngT. I am done. May I send you the story here now?

It is very small.

You can paste it here.

Thanks, so here we go!

I'm going out, but I think others will help you with it. ;-)

Be back later.

There was a boy. He was twelve years old. He was living in Delhi with his family. His father was in Indian army and mother was a simple-house wife. He failed Math subject in 10th board exams and after that everyone teased him about it. He got very upset and locked himself in his room, after sometime he stopped communication with people and left himself alone. He never played after the result day. As everyone started school again but he couldn't as he had to give the Math exam again..........

And his all friends also forgot him as they had got so many new friends in the new class. But there was a girl in his school who liked him but they never got any chance to talk so she kept her feelings inside they never talked but it doesn't mean that she never tried but things did not work for her. So one day she collected her courage and went to him but she did not think that it was a good time to talk on it as he had been depressed because of the result. ....

...So she did not mention the topic and talked to him over his study and during talking she got to know that he was very weak in Math so she could help him easily as she had done top in it. She offered him help on it but he was hesitated to accept her offer but after her request he got agreed. They both worked hard and he got good marks in the exam. He was so happy as he got good marks, his parents were also so glad as their son got good marks and he would join the new class soon...

...One day when she found out a perfect time to tell him her feeling she did that and he accepted her offer as she was so beautiful and was a decent girl. They have been happy with each other since she proposed to him....

Is it over?

Yes.

I am done with it.

Okay. I'm gonna pray. Be back in 10 minutes or so.

Sure. Take your time.

in the Indian army

and his mother

simple housewife

Okay.

I agree.

He failed Math subject in 10th board exams

It was a mistake.

No capitalization for math

ok.

I don't know how you say it in India . . .

But it is a name of a subject.

Do you mean he failed 10 times?

I agree.

That is a very common mistake, but we don't capitalize names of academic subjects

Unless:

No it's 10th class.

Okay.

I agree.

10th grade?

In the 10th grade?

Maybe the school systems are different, so I don't know. I'm American.

Yes.

He failed his math board exams in the 10th grade.

That's one possibility.

Okay.

Again, that is one option.

We probably won't say "after that."

Okay.

Is it Grammatically fine?

room. Ater some time he stopped communicating with people and kept to himself.

Which?

Mine?

Oh. Yours.

yours is ok grammatically. Yes.

He failed Math subject in 10th board exams and after that everyone teased him about it.

He failed math in ___ 10th board exams and after that everyone teased him about it.

He failed math subject in 10th board exams and after that everyone teased him about it.

We need "his" or "the"

not math subject

At least not in UK or American English.

haha

Remember, sometimes "Indian English" is better!

It depends on who is reading it, right?

We will say "he failed math"

We won't say "math subject"

We can't say it.

I agree.

** As ** everyone started school again but he couldn't ** as ** he had to take the math exam again..........

We need to change one of the "as"

Okay.

again.....

Normally, just one period.

@JimReynolds Wait. I think there should be only the second as

But some people will say that a story is art, and if you want to give a feeling with those periods, maybe it is not wrong.

It's more story-like

:-)

So would you just start it with "Everyone . . . " or would you change it to "When everyone . . . ?" @MAR

Okay.

About after that, maybe since then (and change the tense accordingly).

@JimReynolds Everyone...

I will take a break. You two do some work now. :-)

Hehe!

Yes, I think that works well, MAR.

I agree. @DamkerngT.

@user62015 BTW, since this is a story, and stories are artistic, we'll be a little bit more nitpicky than usual. Most of the things you wrote aren't wrong. They are simply not very beautiful.

Sorry for frankness BTW.

That's fine.

@JimReynolds got the baton; gave it to MAR

Okay.

@user62015 In your second message/post/section, it would be better to chip in some punctuation.

Okay. Let me know feedback on it.

I think He got very upset and locked himself in his room, ... sounds a bit too much like a single event. But after sometime he stopped communication with people and left himself alone. suggests his behavior change.

Yes.

I was thinking the same way when writing.

Okay.

which one do you like more? (There's no right or wrong answer)

Let me understand one thing here.

It's ok to say got upset and locked himself in his room. It works as a cause-effect statement and it's clear.

I think, it's because of thinking as per Indian I think and English is not our first language so that could be the reason behind it.

Maybe it comes from Hindi.

But grammatically it should be fine, this is what I want.

I was thinking.. maybe "the 10th board grade exam" (no s).

Okay.

@Dam, I don't think we will use the past perfect * had never played after that day.

@Jim Catch the baton!

Ha.

@JimReynolds I was thinking about another option: c), using since instead, add (outside) or (with his friends) and maybe (again) after played, etc.

@JimReynolds Hmm... Agree.

Actually, "He never played after the result day" is ok grammatically.

Should we do it microscopically, or just generally?

I can see how it would look wrong, because it might seem like "never again."

Should we do it grammatically, or stylistically as well?

Well, depends on how we can best help @user62015.

(I guess that's why ELL chose not to do proofreading.)

It seems, to focus on grammar.

:-)

nods :-)

It's a complicated thing to make suggestions about someone's writing!

Indeed!

I want that it should be done grammatically.

But @user62015 is doing good by telling us what is wanted.

Guys, I changed my profile pic.

The questions are clear: Is it grammatical.

You wha . . . ? O.O

Ahh... I forgot the questions!

I can start from the bottom!

Hi @Scorpion_God!

Because I have felt that we do have some difference while making sentences than the UK and USA as we think different ways.

And we also got touch from our first language.

Yes.

@MARamezani What is that substance?

One day when she found out a perfect time to tell him her feeling she did that and he accepted her offer as she was so beautiful and was a decent girl. They have been happy with each other since she proposed to him.... THAT IS ALL OK.

Snot?

Thanks.

Umm... wait, is give the Math exam again okay?

Oh, you're reading it bottom up!

He was so happy as he got good marks, his parents were also so glad as their son got good marks and he would join the new class soon...

It needs a period (full stop) afer good marks

Okay.

I agree.

They both worked hard and he got good marks in the exam. -> on the exam.

'On' or 'in' he got good marks in a subject.

@DamkerngT. It's still cyclohaxane.

I think in the UK people prefer 'in' but I am not sure?

good marks in math. good marks on a test / on a paper.

Hmm..

Though I think it's sort of grammatical.

I can check.

@user62015 Why not say good at math?

@user62015 Iirc, some learners are confused by good and expert.

(That's where in comes in.)

I would love to do that and I also prefer 'at' most of the cases @MARamezani

@MARamezani Could we also say 'he is good at study'?

Or in study

He's good at studying things.

Haha in my web search, I saw several "in exam" . . . but the first three that I looked at were Indian!

@JimReynolds You can avoid that by searching only books.

We won't say "marks in exam" in the US, but I don't know about UK!

O.O

Or, he's good at his studies.

So do we always use the preposition 'at' when we talk about our activities?

I daresay "[be] good at study" is not ungrammatical.

@DamkerngT. i know that it was not for me but what did you mean by 'by searching only books'?

I agree "He is good at study" is ok.

Thanks.

@user62015 Oh, I mean that Google results will virtually include everything on the web, and a lot of stuff on the web was written by non-native speakers.

Google Books is a safer bet. At least, most books, before the self-publishing era, would have editors and proofreaders doing their work before the book would get published.

I understand, thanks.

I have to leave now. Please continue and tag my name with the feedback so I can find it when I will come back.

Thank you so much everyone. I love feedback from you guys.

I will see you soon.

I must leave now.

Bye.

See you soon!

TTYL.

Jim was of great help this time!

Hooray for @Jim!

:-)

Ah, actually I joined this chat during a Hats fest!

I agree and appreciate everyone's hard work.

Bye

Bye @user62015 See you later!

So I think it must've been after that Hats season (Jan 2014) that I felt like I was alone, and snailboat picked me up. :-)

Hats?

I think the official name is Winterbash.

:-)

That sounds like a happy story!

It seems like SE has a Winterbash every year. :-)

Snailboat picks up more than snails!

Indeed!

I mean I was alone in this chat room.

Less drama. O.O

No drama at all!

I was just trying to learn English.

If we all disconnect from the Internet . . .

Peace!

lol

O.O

That's my first message in the room, I think.

Wow. Historical!

Monumental!

And in perfect English.

Hahaha!

Even the tricky "two l" problem in "hello"

lol

Oh, it was a conversation about my learning method.