@TimStone i'm just imagining Pompeo going "look we've all seen it, my boss will alter any prepared speech so can we save some time and just indulge him"

@TimStone i really, really want to walk through that tweet to him and yell "FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE NOT THE CENTER OF THE GOD DAM UNIVERSE AND THAT EVERYTHING ISN'T ALL ABOUT YOU"

Washington Post: Doctors are considering universal DNR orders for COVID patients

@Jolenealaska :/

Some of our health care workers (ones that don't die) are going to have PTSD for life.

Harvey Weinstein has tested positive

The Senate has passed the $2T coronavirus stimulus bill, unanimously minus the four Republicans in quarantine

Now they'll go on recess because why not

House will vote Friday morning, apparently

There's probably a lot to say about the bill and giving money to big business but on the other side people are dying right this second so I guess at least they're not arguing over it for another three weeks

It's not enough but it was previously nothing so at least get the President to sign it before he starts throwing Rona Rallies idk

the title more or less explains it but someone, who i will quote the police as "an absolutely ########", thought it would be funny to walk into a police station, cough on a police worker claiming he has COVID-19 as a prank

yep, he was arrested and to face court over that "prank", the dipshit

the video also says there was another case of this where some guy coughed on a police officer when asked to do a breath test and said he had COVID-19 and that was a lie too

@TimStone wasn't it 5? Who left quarantine?

@Stormblessed i assume a Democrat maybe?

@Memor-X no all five were republicans

Rand Paul, Mike Lee, & Romney are who i remember

@TimStone ah I see Skeletor and company did indeed drop their objection to employment insurance expansion

people are already comparing Trump to the mayor in Jaws, who wouldn't close the beaches until people died

Record 3.3 million unemployment claims filed in last week; previous record is 695,000

This is just insane

Almost the population of Wyoming, Vermont, DC, Alaska, and North Dakota filled in one week

@Unionhawk It turns out that when you give people the bare minimum you're still not really helping the poor so I guess it was okay

@TimStone also Lindsay Graham and whoever the other one was is now just Rick Scott's minion this is canon now

Accepted

@Stormblessed maybe it shouldn't be trivial for people to get fired!

:o

We shouldn't shame people for how they look but it remains surprising to me that Rick Scott has had so much success looking like he literally eats souls and also mismanaging the state of Florida

Insane idea I know, no one does it

> MNUCHIN: High jobless numbers right now “are not relevant.” He says biz will rehire due to the bill Congress is passing, hopefully.

lmfao

Well I'm sure the producer of Suicide Squad know what's right

You will be unsurprised that the banks made out in this bill, though I don't know that the latter two are necessarily bad things given that the government, especially in its current state, isn't good at doing things

Like theoretically it should be easy for the IRS to send you money but history has shown it is somehow not easy

@TimStone Okay, the full statement is marginally less dumb

He essentially says "Look we passed these protections, it'll be fine either way" which is not really true given how little the bill protects people outside the short-but-not-immediate term

I don't think anyone knows what the economic consequences will be, there is just no data for comparable events.

That's okay because Trump says it'll all be over in a week

The one thing that I wish we knew but never will is how much he believes any of this and whether it's because he's genuinely that dumb or because Jared is and assured him his feelings were right

> "all my friends are saying you know, this is not a priority, people are dying and i realize that, but they can't get their nails done"

Feel like if you really realised that you would just not finish the sentence, honestly

many people are telling me that, you know what this doesn't actually matter that much relatively speaking, but

SDNY has uhh…indicted Nicolas Maduro?

South Korea over here like "Oh really we can indict Trump for spreading coronavirus I guess?"

> The U.S government has decided to cut humanitarian aid to Yemen this week, including funding for #COVID19 prevention programs. This suspension will take effect on the same week marking 5 years since the start of the U.S backed Saudi intervention in #Yemen

The President does like big arrows

So Canada is implementing the quarantine act, which means a refusal to self quarantine could lead to fines or jail time.

@TimStone ??

The President of Venezuela apparently also runs a violent drug cartel or something

I haven't read the indictment because I should be working, tbh

Isn’t that basically a declaration of war though?

Because that is the only way a sitting autocrat (or really any leader) could ever be prosecuted by a different country

SDNY doesn't have the authority to declare war, so it probably works out to something more like "Now there's an outstanding indictment, in case we ever get a chance to execute it"

I mean the united states government already doesn't recognize the election so this isn't really that much more than that

> Key number - 1290 people across NY state now in ICU

In Delaware we have 14 hospitalizations for 119 cases, but interestingly more cases in the 18-49 year range than 50+

> Alex Jones wont stop suggesting that the supplements he sells provide a benefit against the novel coronavirus. In recent days he has been ramping up marketing for a multivitamin he sells called The Real Red Pill that costs $40 a bottle

C'mooooooooon indictment

> PM Trudeau confirms @globalnews story White House wants to put American troops near the Canadian border to monitor for illegal border crossers. Trudeau says they are in discussions with US officials & in best interests of both countries to remain demilitarized #cdnpoli

@Wipqozn and fellow Canadians, is Global News somehow an unreliable source or is this some new dumb shit we have to contend with?

@TimStone No, he confirmed it in an interview an hour ago

jfc

> M6.1 #quake hits Mindanao in the #Philippines

@TimStone Yeah

> He survived COVID-19. He’s broke. But he thinks America is overreacting

> The divorced father of two made $10.65 an hour at Waffle House and has lived with friends since being evicted last year from his apartment

@TimStone one. horseman. at. a. time.

was i not clear about this last earthquake?

Okay my dude I think maybe the universe is trying to send you a signal here and it's that your choices are bad

@TimStone oh no

> Gantz was just voted in as Knesset speaker, paving the way for a unity government with Netanyahu. The stunning move cost him his own party

How are you going to roll up being more dumb than Bibi? My god

@TimStone Still reeling over this absolute libertarian. I demand he Thunderdome with Rand Paul

@TimStone for a second i read this as "gaetz"

lol

> An estimate of 81,114 deaths from #COVID19 over the next four months in the US, predicts @IHME_UW

Jail

Throw her directly into jail

that's a paddlin'

It’s definitely not Costco, and that’s all I have to say.

The oil Bible, but with pizza.

> Officials don’t take these kinds of incidents lightly, given that grocery store employees already have a high risk of being exposed to the coronavirus. Cashiers can’t avoid coming into contact with customers, and one Whole Foods employee in Atlanta told the Atlantic that he overheard a shopper telling someone that he was “pretty sure” he had the virus but needed to get a few things before he went to the doctor.

Are American groceries even doing anything to protect their staff?

I know the ones around here have installed sneeze guards and the like.

@puzzlepiece87 I'm glad they're throwing it out but at the same time I'm wondering how the hell she got to $35k worth of open food

They've also been giving staff extra money every week too, which is nifty.

Did they just toss the entire produce section in its entirety? Maybe

Even then... what would that be?

@Sterno That's what I assumed

I just filed my taxes. $6k owed. Oof

Oh right, I need to do my taxes.

I still need to call to get some more info

ugh

Yeah, I need tog et some medical bills to claim.

Why mine isn't done yet

@Wipqozn I can't say myself, I haven't been to the grocery store since this started. First my in laws were here from China and were doing the grocery shopping themselves. They went home last Friday when the State Department issued its final warning (my MIL contracted coronavirus en route), and we had two weeks worth of groceries at that time. In a few more days I will be going to the store for the first time since this started.

It was suprising how little the census asked

Just names, ages, race

Nothing about income, language, education

I had to answer the ancestry question with "unknown".

Urgh, we had our first COVID-19 death :/

A 53-year-old woman who was arrested Tuesday and released on Wednesday was arrested again on Thursday morning for allegedly violating an order to self-isolate. cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/…

@TimStone Who's we?

Delaware

Although the man died at a hospital not in the state so I'm not 100% sure how that works statistics wise

Quebec grocery stores kick out returning snowbird not self-isolating despite mandatory COVID-19 quarantine montreal.ctvnews.ca/…

Imagine how quickly this would die if people actually followed quarantine

Also I'm universal income would help too

@Wipqozn oh lol I thought that was a silly headline about a literal bird

@TimStone Our (Alaska's) first death was the same. Alaskan in Washington.

We have a 25K fine for entering Alaska from anywhere else and not keeping immediately isolated for 14 days. AK and HI have a distinct advantage in this.

@Wipqozn Sadly, it wouldn't

Without 100% containment (obviously impossible), it'd just start the cycle again once lockdown ends because there isn't enough herd immunity until either a ton of us get it or a vaccine is developed

@Sterno But, it would help our hospitals not look like hot war zones.

Trump keeps talking like anyone in the American public gives a damn about the cruise line industry

@Jolenealaska Yes, but that's different than it dying

@Sterno Yeah. It's like trying to save the video rental industry.

@Sterno My vague hope is that there's a chance to do all the contact tracing and testing stuff properly after the initial wave is stopped, with only limited restrictions on bigger events

@Sterno A certain segment of the population does I guess but literally only that segment

It's so weird, they're not even good businesses in any way that impacts the US!

Excellent at dodging US taxes by registering overseas too!

Exactly

Cruises are horrible floating petri dishes even when there isn't a pandemic, and that story of the one where the toilets were overflowing with sewage…no thanks!

...

These press conferences are entirely ridiculous

I never understand why reporters keep asking questions all over top of each other while the president is leaving

@Sterno in rare cases you can still get an answer there

> US now leads world in number of confirmed coronavirus cases, according to Johns Hopkins University tally

"We're #1" chants ring out

I had the same reaction.

Fauci saying they'll produce vaccines before they know if they work is a pretty interesting thing, but it makes sense

CNN keeps saying US has the most, no China has the most, no US is #1, no it's China. FFS

@TimStone Damn it, I wanted to come here to make this joke!

The plasma treatment Dr Birx is talking about we do all the time in veterinary medicine for parvo.

We had lists of blood donor parvo survivor dogs.

It's so easy you could rig it in a kitchen if you've got needles and IV catheters.

@Sterno Wouldn't everyone following quarantine result in 100% containment though?

I mean to be clear I know that's impossible, but only because people don't follow quarantine guidelines

@Wipqozn everyone on the whole world with 100% compliance, yes.

@MadScientist Exactly. That's all I want.

> If you have been laid off, you might consider looking for another job, says @GovRicketts Unemployment benefits end at some point, he said, and you'll be in better shape when this #coronavirus outbreak ends if you have a new job

lmfao, thanks buddy

I would simply not be unemployed

> Mid-size businesses seeking loans under new coronavirus stimulus legislation moving in Congress would have to agree not to oppose unions looking to organize their workers

Props to whoever added this in because even though the language isn't clear, lol

> A trade association representative who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the bill’s provision establishes a dangerous precedent for business

Oh noooo

@TimStone Why are all your politicians so terrible?

June 2 is the new Super 2sday

CT, DE, IN, MD, OH, & RI

@Sterno yeh but over in which way because maybe it will be over in a week or two in the US in a very different way from what he's deluding himself

@TimStone better than sharpie

@TimStone some of those replies

if only there was a way to make every person whos dismissing the number to experience what it would be like to watch someone they love choke to death slowly like those in Italy