@HDE Right after you stop being an arsehole and undelete my post. — Mark Micallef 37 secs ago
00:00 - 14:0014:00 - 00:00
12:00 AM
#12145 Mark Micallef (97 rep) | Q: How to deal with an abusive moderator - Catija (score: -2) | posted 16 minutes ago by Mark Micallef (97 rep)
@MarkMicallef While I appreciate your point that this might, in some places, be an interpersonal issue (I don't think it is though)- the core issues you have are with the site moderation, and the workings of the site itself. It's a well -established SE practice that this sort of stuff goes to the site Meta, as that's what it is there for. Also, this is barely about Interpersonal Skills insofar as the site handles them - you're not actually asking for any sort of help with interpersonal skills. There's no issue to be solved and no real question to answer (beyond telling you to go to Meta.) — Ash 1 min ago
#12145 Ash (473 rep) | Q: How to deal with an abusive moderator - Catija (score: -2) | posted 17 minutes ago by Mark Micallef (97 rep)
Catija is being a dick and editing my answer. Short version: your GF is clearly engaging in abusive behaviour. Get rid of her. — Mark Micallef 1 min ago
#12141 Mark Micallef (93 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 3) | posted 2 hours ago by anonymous (16 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
Catija is being a dick and editing my answer. Short version: your GF is clearly engaging in abusive behaviour. Get rid of her. — Mark Micallef 3 mins ago
#12141 Mark Micallef (93 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 3) | posted 2 hours ago by anonymous (16 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
12:47 AM
This looks helpful, but I suspect the downvote came because it doesn't very well serve to answer the question. Useful information, but not an answer :-( — can-ned_food 1 min ago
#12146 can-ned_food (214 rep) | A: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: -1) | posted 42 minutes ago by user15644 (1 rep)
12:59 AM
While this is a good approach in the general case, I am trying to picture taking the lightfooted executive approach in a scenario where two people are arguing about what colour something is, and I can't imagine it as anything less absurd than the "Expert" sketch. "Okay, so we have a disagreement. Let's recap where we've got to thus far. You're saying that this is red and this is green. You're saying that these are both red. We seem to have a genuine difference..." Honestly that's just going to come across as condescending, no matter the facts! — Lightness Races in Orbit 55 secs ago
#12126 Lightness Races in Orbit (344 rep) | A: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 28) | posted 8 hours ago by Spagirl (8822 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by Spagirl (8822 rep)
"I'd do my best to have the message be 'You might want to have that checked out'" This wording, particular from a vendor, would not go over well with me. — Lightness Races in Orbit 1 min ago
#12117 Lightness Races in Orbit (344 rep) | A: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 2) | posted 11 hours ago by baldPrussian (9265 rep)
1:33 AM
#12126 Ooker (140 rep) | A: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 30) | posted 9 hours ago by Spagirl (8842 rep) | edited 8 hours ago by Spagirl (8842 rep)
1:52 AM
#12038 Asteria (145 rep) | Q: How to convince a family member to stop victimizing themselves? (score: 7) | posted 45 hours ago by Asteria (145 rep)
2:29 AM
#11826 Rodolfo Perottoni (101 rep) | A: As a woman, how to avoid angry stares from other people's wives or girlfriends (score: 63) | posted 6 days ago by Em C (5918 rep)
A meta discussion of the abusive moderation of Catija and HDE 226868 has been created at meta, including the full text of the original response before it was vandalised by Catija: interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/2659/… — Mark Micallef 1 min ago
#12141 Mark Micallef (92 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 3) | posted 4 hours ago by anonymous (16 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
@RodolfoPerottoni interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/a/2502 tldr if you have an answer, please write it in the answer box, not as a comment here. — Em C 1 min ago
#11826 Em C (5918 rep) | A: As a woman, how to avoid angry stares from other people's wives or girlfriends (score: 63) | posted 6 days ago by Em C (5918 rep)
3:31 AM
Characterizing the OP with that would not be nice, but talking about the subject of the post, the GF, in rather stark terms is not really within the context of a be nice rule. — Jon 13 secs ago
#2660 Jon (477 rep) | A: How to deal with abusive moderators like Catija and HDE 226868? (score: 4) | posted 50 minutes ago by HDE 226868 (6361 rep)
@Jon Historically, Be Nice has a wider range than just an SE user - and even though the answerer is obliged to be honest, "sadistic, narcissistic and emotionally unstable" is perhaps over the line. There's stark honesty, and then there's gratuitous characterization. This seems like a case of the latter. — HDE 226868 ♦ 56 secs ago
#2660 HDE 226868 (6361 rep) | A: How to deal with abusive moderators like Catija and HDE 226868? (score: 4) | posted 57 minutes ago by HDE 226868 (6361 rep)
3:54 AM
Is she playing with actual other people in the game? Like is she able to communicate with them via some form of text chat within the app? I am just curious if this is literally her in a closed box and her only interaction with other players is her building cumbling and a name appearing in a sidebox without them unable to even say "haha i pwned your face newb". Is this game merely text choices or is it more interactive than that? — patrick 1 min ago
#11889 patrick (101 rep) | A: My fiancée is addicted to a "free-to-play" (pay-to-win) game (score: 91) | posted 5 days ago by Jhal (859 rep) | edited 18 hours ago by Peter Mortensen (115 rep)
You have presented zero evidence for your accusations against the moderators. In particular, how would you know their motives if they haven't shared them? If you can back up your claims, you should present them dispassionately to either the community (here on meta) or SE (via the contact link). Ranting and tossing around baseless accusations does not help your cause. — Monica Cellio 36 secs ago
#2658 Monica Cellio (10704 rep) | A: How do we engage more people to contribute on meta, to create a wider mandate for our policies? (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by Mark Micallef (88 rep)
#2660 Jesse (3500 rep) | A: How to deal with abusive moderators like Catija and HDE 226868? (score: 5) | posted 1 hours ago by HDE 226868 (6361 rep)
#12130 fkraiem (101 rep) | Q: How might it be appropriate to ask someone to back up a claim they make in conversation? (score: 1) | posted 10 hours ago by Touchdown (11 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by Em C (5918 rep)
4:10 AM
@Jesse It was indeed, technically - though more in the sense of censoring an obscenity on TV, instead of, as Mark is alleging, the sense of a government censoring a dissident opinion on TV. — HDE 226868 ♦ 27 secs ago
#2660 HDE 226868 (6361 rep) | A: How to deal with abusive moderators like Catija and HDE 226868? (score: 5) | posted 1 hours ago by HDE 226868 (6361 rep)
4:23 AM
Really nicely put, especially the bit about legal advice. With the exception of Law, legal matters are right out - and even their scope rules out legal advice, and focuses on legal information and analysis. Same thing goes for not giving medical advice. Taking incorrect medical/legal/etc. suggestions based on limited information can be really dangerous. — HDE 226868 ♦ 28 secs ago
#2661 HDE 226868 (6361 rep) | A: How to deal with abusive moderators like Catija and HDE 226868? (score: 7) | posted 1 hours ago by Ash (473 rep)
Note: This answer, and edits made/moderation actions on it, are being discussed on meta. — HDE 226868 ♦ 45 secs ago
#12143 HDE 226868 (6361 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 0) | posted 5 hours ago by Mark Micallef (88 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
"in a relationship she needs to be able to tell me what she thinks" - this is a prevalent but immature way of thinking. Politeness and respect is more important in a relationship than among strangers, because you can always avoid strangers. Unfortunately, the emphasis you place on politeness in a relationship seems to be hard-wired into people. You either believe it is important or not, and I have found it very hard to change this. You may have a big red warning flag here. Sorry. — Stephan Kolassa 31 secs ago
#12141 Stephan Kolassa (461 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 5) | posted 6 hours ago by anonymous (26 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
This does not go beyond the "what I have already tried" part of the question. — Stephan Kolassa 45 secs ago
#12147 Stephan Kolassa (461 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 3) | posted 3 hours ago by Guy who types fast (476 rep)
+1 for the first part. I am very skeptical about someone being able to deal with insults from a romantic partner on what seems to be a regular basis, though. It may be bearable in a long distance relationship, but when OP moves in with the GF, this may turn into Chinese water torture. — Stephan Kolassa 39 secs ago
#12142 Stephan Kolassa (461 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 4) | posted 5 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2246 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2246 rep)
5:02 AM
This doesn't answer your question, because it's not very polite, but the way I refuse it is by charging. Basically, "Sure, I'll tutor you. My rates are $30 an hour, rounded up to the nearest hour." If they really want my help, I make $30-$60 (most of the time) which is a nice bit of cash, and makes me a lot more willing to help (because I get something out of it). If they don't, I shrug and say that I don't enjoy it, so I'd only do it if there was something there to offset the cost to me (of not enjoying 1-2 hours). Also, note this is tutoring, not flat-out giving away work. — Nic Hartley 47 secs ago
#12043 Nic Hartley (103 rep) | Q: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 34) | posted 43 hours ago by user8979192 (171 rep) | edited 8 hours ago by IconDaemon (109 rep)
5:32 AM
I don't see why that edit would be classed as legal advice, and in any case, that rule is more about prohibiting questions which ask for legal advice. There's no rule that says you can't make factual statements about the law in answers. I think it should be rolled back to edit 5. — curiousdannii 59 secs ago
#2660 curiousdannii (887 rep) | A: How to deal with abusive moderators like Catija and HDE 226868? (score: 5) | posted 2 hours ago by HDE 226868 (6361 rep)
5:51 AM
She knows that it hurts your feelings. She wants a change in you as a man. If you were my brother, I would be your gym buddy. — two black lines in the middle just now
#12141 two black lines in the middle (101 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 5) | posted 7 hours ago by anonymous (26 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
6:20 AM
#12155 Jesse (3500 rep) | Q: How can I convince her that I truly changed? (score: 0) | posted 5 minutes ago by ash last (1 rep)
#12155 A J (5364 rep) | Q: How can I convince her that I truly changed? (score: -1) | posted 10 minutes ago by ash last (1 rep)
This is really too broad for us to answer. There so many variables that would impact this so we really would need a specific example that can be described in more detail if we are ever going to be able to answer a question like this. — Jesse 6 secs ago
#12154 Jesse (3500 rep) | Q: How to let down a hopeless romantic as a female? (score: 0) | posted 29 minutes ago by two black lines in the middle (101 rep)
6:41 AM
@LightnessRacesinOrbit How is selling your help grounds for dismissal? I'm not saying he should be selling his homework I'm saying he should be selling his help. Also, even if he was selling or giving away his homework, how is that grounds for dismissal? Maybe, if the teacher is really strict, he'll immediately fail his class but a dismissal? Hardly. — John Hamilton 54 secs ago
#12100 John Hamilton (528 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 1) | posted 24 hours ago by John Hamilton (528 rep)
7:25 AM
"If you respond with anger, you effectively give her insults credibility, and you will stoop to her level, equalizing you two in a pointless, unproductive argument." Which will lead to either her realizing she can't go on like that or both breaking up. With all seriousness, I do think sometimes anger is a valid response. It shows that you are hurt way better than just saying "I'm hurt". — DonQuiKong 13 secs ago
#12142 DonQuiKong (201 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 6) | posted 8 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2266 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2266 rep)
@Ooker I don’t always, but I can use it in a phone App, rather than needing online connectivity and my 14 digit library card number that I don’t always have to hand, as I do for the OED. I also find that sometimes Chambers feels closer to English, as I speak it, where the OED can be precise to the point of confusion. As a general point it also has better coverage of Scottish English due to its origins. — Spagirl 17 secs ago
#12126 Spagirl (8892 rep) | A: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 35) | posted 15 hours ago by Spagirl (8892 rep) | edited 14 hours ago by Spagirl (8892 rep)
Important question: Did you disclose out of the blue? Or as a response to something? — Tinkeringbell 32 secs ago
#12149 Tinkeringbell (16642 rep) | Q: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: 1) | posted 3 hours ago by Jesse (3505 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Jesse (3505 rep)
7:39 AM
@Tinkeringbell In both cases I disclosed during a long conversation with plenty of context, however the introduction of talking about my feelings on it was out of the blue. (with my friend, we were talking about movies for a little while and then I transitioned from talking about the mediocre CGI or great dialogue of one movie, to another movie and this time I talked about how much of an impact on me it had and what it made me feel) - so i'm not sure if you would call that "out of the blue" or not — Jesse 1 min ago
#12149 Jesse (3515 rep) | Q: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: 1) | posted 4 hours ago by Jesse (3515 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Jesse (3515 rep)
In the case you provided it might also just be that the teenager said those things to make a bold statement, they tend to do that. — Robin 20 secs ago
#12130 Robin (806 rep) | Q: How might it be appropriate to ask someone to back up a claim they make in conversation? (score: 1) | posted 13 hours ago by Touchdown (11 rep) | edited 10 hours ago by Em C (5918 rep)
Meh, that's somewhere in between indeed ;-) But that provides enough context, thanks! — Tinkeringbell 55 secs ago
#12149 Tinkeringbell (16642 rep) | Q: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: 1) | posted 4 hours ago by Jesse (3515 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Jesse (3515 rep)
"up to your lifestyle/intellectual standards" is a really shallow reason to reject anyone. — Stacey 5 secs ago
#12154 Stacey (5546 rep) | Q: How to let down a hopeless romantic as a female? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by two black lines in the middle (99 rep)
8:01 AM
#12105 ash last (1 rep) | Q: How can I convince her that I truly changed? (score: -5) | posted 23 hours ago by ash last (1 rep) | edited 21 hours ago by Spagirl (8902 rep) | Has magic comment
First, SPT is all about mutually increasing trust through reciprocation of sharing personal details and has nothing to do with making anyone behave in a certain way. The theory in and of itself is not manipulative. — Jesse 24 secs ago
#12157 Jesse (3514 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -1) | posted 19 minutes ago by Stacey (5544 rep)
Second, I am not trying to manipulate them. My questions goal is to improve our relationship and manipulating someone into acting a certain way does not benefit my goal. — Jesse 20 secs ago
#12157 Jesse (3514 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -1) | posted 20 minutes ago by Stacey (5544 rep)
Third, they have never said that they do not want to talk about personal feelings, it is just what is currently considered normal for us and refusing to learn IPS to improve your relationships because you don't want to manipulate them is counter-productive. — Jesse 39 secs ago
#12157 Jesse (3514 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -1) | posted 21 minutes ago by Stacey (5544 rep)
Fourth, this is IPS and understanding how to use Inter Personal Theories is what this site is all about... just look at help — Jesse 16 secs ago
#12157 Jesse (3514 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -1) | posted 22 minutes ago by Stacey (5544 rep)
Fifth, there is a significant difference between asking what you can do to gain someones trust and asking how to manipulate someone into trusting you. Just because I am applying my question to some research does not make it the latter, it just means I am trying to better understand the situation. — Jesse 25 secs ago
#12157 Jesse (3519 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -1) | posted 25 minutes ago by Stacey (5552 rep)
@Jesse For what it's worth, your question focuses entirely on "I want" and doesn't at all seem to wonder whether the other side has any interest in moving that relationship in the same direction. I'm not surprised it might come across as "manipulative" the way it's worded right now. — Erik 12 secs ago
#12157 Erik (5809 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -2) | posted 32 minutes ago by Stacey (5560 rep)
@StephanKolassa I disagree, saying "if you keep with this behavior, I'm leaving" is very different from "you hurt my feelings". The former implies a consequence to her actions. — André Paramés 15 secs ago
#12147 André Paramés (101 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 5) | posted 7 hours ago by Guy who types fast (496 rep)
#12157 Jesse (3529 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -2) | posted 43 minutes ago by Stacey (5570 rep)
8:38 AM
@Erik I would have to disagree... what I want was only mentioned once when outlining my goals and motive which is essential in asking any question here on IPS. With a possible second time when i explained how the interaction achieved the opposite of said hopes... Most of my question was focused on what i did and how my friend reacted. Again this is important to the question — Jesse 7 secs ago
#12157 Jesse (3529 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -2) | posted 54 minutes ago by Stacey (5570 rep)
The thing is, that teen has more chance to win the "argument" since it's a fact that humans are animals. If you want to argue about something, better be prepared with facts or you might end up looking like a troublemaker if you do not have "real" arguments. — Hawker65 55 secs ago
#12130 Hawker65 (194 rep) | Q: How might it be appropriate to ask someone to back up a claim they make in conversation? (score: 1) | posted 14 hours ago by Touchdown (11 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by Em C (5918 rep)
#12157 Jesse (3534 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -3) | posted 1 hours ago by Stacey (5568 rep)
8:57 AM
#12122 Angelo Fuchs (111 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 15) | posted 18 hours ago by Arthas (1330 rep) | edited 14 hours ago by Arthas (1330 rep)
Accepting some of the insults won't work, I guess, as most of them are mostly exlusively her opinion, some of them don't really make sense, as they aren't backed by any logic, for example she told me (because I am about to start running to improve my cardio) that I should not train something like running because it only trains endurance, and thats pointless. And that is highly demotivating — anonymous 1 min ago
#12142 anonymous (51 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 12) | posted 10 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2326 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2326 rep)
@Stacey, take a look at this: interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/a/1611/1599 Although it's not strictly enforced, it is a good idea and encouraged to back up an answer with references (either personal experience or sources). Do you have anything to back up this post and maybe improve on it? — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#12157 Tinkeringbell (16691 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -3) | posted 1 hours ago by Stacey (5586 rep)
I was in a similar situation in my past, that relationship has been greatly helped by applying the elements of the book "Gewaltfreie Kommunikation", which I can strongly recommend. But it stays hard anyway. — Angelo Fuchs 1 min ago
#12141 Angelo Fuchs (111 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 10) | posted 11 hours ago by anonymous (51 rep) | edited 10 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
9:22 AM
#12145 paparazzo (1228 rep) | Q: How to deal with an abusive moderator - Catija (score: -11) | posted 9 hours ago by Mark Micallef (82 rep)
If you want to know if she dumped you, and you did not get the message, just put a honest question. That should be answerable. — Daniel 55 secs ago
#12154 Daniel (1590 rep) | Q: How to let down a hopeless romantic as a female? (score: -2) | posted 3 hours ago by two black lines in the middle (97 rep)
So your girlfriend wants to be able to express how she feels / thinks about you, that's great. The huge problem seems to be that she's either a toxic and unhealthy person to have a relationship with, or, simply doesn't think very highly of you. In either case I think your relationship worked thus far only because you don't see each other very often. Once you've moved in together things will become worse very quickly. — r41n 53 secs ago
#12141 r41n (241 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 12) | posted 11 hours ago by anonymous (61 rep) | edited 10 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
9:49 AM
Thank you for taking the effort to write an answer! While I'm sure that you have a good reason for giving this advice, you might want to take a look at [this meta](interpersonal.meta.stackexcha…) about backing up your posts. Although it's not strictly enforced, it is a good idea and heavily encouraged to back up your answers with references (either external sources or personal experience). Could you please perhaps edit to improve this answer with something to back it up? Thanks! :) — Cashbee 1 min ago
#12160 Cashbee (2537 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: 0) | posted 27 minutes ago by Daniel (1589 rep)
10:06 AM
You probally speaking of
Final Fantasy XV: A New Empire which is basically a copy of Empire War. Goddamn, my mate once got hooked to that game and since he played it very often, we give it a try too.. his WHOLE clan would constantly pay into the game, minimum 20$, everytime everyone gets a free chest. I got spammed with free chests! We still were low level guild. Top 100 Guild would pay 20k$ each week at minimum! They spammed buyables in second intervals! These games are heavily addicting and p2w. He had to sign in insolvency after a couple of month and still couldn't stop the game! — Cagatay Ulubay 1 min ago
#11853 Cagatay Ulubay (101 rep) | Q: My fiancée is addicted to a "free-to-play" (pay-to-win) game (score: 122) | posted 5 days ago by Fez Vrasta (717 rep) | edited 24 hours ago by SQB (3360 rep)
I'm on tenterhooks as to what Arsenal always does! They don't walk it in, do they? — Bad_Bishop 32 secs ago
#12122 Bad_Bishop (431 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 16) | posted 19 hours ago by Arthas (1335 rep) | edited 15 hours ago by Arthas (1335 rep)
respond with ultra-aggressive laughter HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH — theonlygusti 55 secs ago
#3253 theonlygusti (101 rep) | Q: How to get friends/partner to stop texting me pointless pictures/videos (score: 74) | posted 198 days ago by Slow loris (3449 rep) | edited 198 days ago by NVZ (8588 rep)
@Cashbee: Can you specify for what you would like to have a backup. I don´t see me making any claim, just stating my opinion based on my personal experineces. — Daniel 58 secs ago
#12160 Daniel (1597 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: 0) | posted 50 minutes ago by Daniel (1597 rep)
#12141 Rohit5k2 (101 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 14) | posted 12 hours ago by anonymous (71 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
First paragraph is not necessary and frankly dismissive of single parents successfully raising happy children. Not want to challenge your view, just the relevance of it here. — LVDV 19 secs ago
#12158 LVDV (371 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 1) | posted 2 hours ago by WoJ (811 rep)
#12126 Spagirl (8922 rep) | A: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 38) | posted 18 hours ago by Spagirl (8922 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by Spagirl (8922 rep)
If you really still consider moving in with her, ask yourself if you are able to tolerate this sort of abuse daily and within your safe space (your home). If not, don't move in with her. — AllTheKingsHorses 1 min ago
#12141 AllTheKingsHorses (2914 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 14) | posted 12 hours ago by anonymous (71 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
#12141 mickburkejnr (191 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 14) | posted 12 hours ago by anonymous (71 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
I think this is a good approach to tell her how I feel, I hope she recognizes how she is hurting me and will stop it, thanks for taking your time to answer my question, I will wait for a little longer until I accept an answer to give people from other timezones the abillity to answer. — anonymous 1 min ago
#12156 anonymous (71 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 3) | posted 2 hours ago by Stacey (5596 rep)
'the ladies' are not a homogenous group with one approach.'Leading on' is often in the eye of the beholder and one persons 'hopeless romantic' is another person's 'persistent creep who won't take no for an answer', all of which which would make answers to your question primarily opinion based. Questions work best on IPS.SE when they are practical, answerable questions based on actual problems that you face — Spagirl 44 secs ago
#12154 Spagirl (8922 rep) | Q: How to let down a hopeless romantic as a female? (score: -2) | posted 4 hours ago by two black lines in the middle (97 rep) | edited 30 minutes ago by Alina Cretu (548 rep)
#12160 Cashbee (2537 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by Daniel (1597 rep)
Please don’t write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by not having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don’t use them for other purposes. — Tinkeringbell 36 secs ago
#3253 Tinkeringbell (16700 rep) | Q: How to get friends/partner to stop texting me pointless pictures/videos (score: 74) | posted 198 days ago by Slow loris (3449 rep) | edited 198 days ago by NVZ (8588 rep)
The prologue of this answer is one of the foundations to live by. If your relatives or closed ones don't support you.... Who will? +100 — OneEyedBandit 17 secs ago
#12156 OneEyedBandit (1905 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 4) | posted 3 hours ago by Stacey (5616 rep)
#12160 Daniel (1617 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by Daniel (1617 rep)
@Daniel, also, take a look at this meta. One of the answers there gives a nice guidance on how to write an experience based answer. The other encourages people to include references when answering questions about facts, which a question tagged academic-research does seem to be :) Starting with 'I think' makes it very clear this is your opinion, but it doesn't give any insight into why you think the way you do. — Tinkeringbell 12 secs ago
#12160 Tinkeringbell (16700 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by Daniel (1617 rep)
+1 but for the last paragraph. Mixing family and business - eh. And if she really does pay you've got one hell of an entitled customer who now thinks she can throw anything at you because after all she's paying. Rather, let her pay someone else to deal with the problems... — AllTheKingsHorses 1 min ago
#12033 AllTheKingsHorses (2914 rep) | A: How to deal with people who are aggressive when providing/denying help with problems? (score: 4) | posted 59 hours ago by ArtOfCode (1997 rep)
#12158 WoJ (809 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by WoJ (809 rep)
#12157 Stacey (5618 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by Stacey (5618 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Stacey (5618 rep)
Looks good. But how does it not relate to SPT? Giving people the time they need to open up seems to be a pretty important part of that theory, so while you seem to be correct in 'you don't, not the way you've been doing it now', I'm curious as to why you still seem to feel that Social Penetration Theory contradicts your experience... — Tinkeringbell 54 secs ago
#12157 Tinkeringbell (16701 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by Stacey (5618 rep) | edited 53 seconds ago by Stacey (5618 rep)
10:54 AM
#2662 gparyani (170 rep) | Q: sandbox and quality control (score: 0) | posted 17 minutes ago by Cursed (107 rep)
@Tinkeringbell The OP indicates that they used SPT and it didn't work. They have tried self-disclosure and the other person was not interested in opening up. My answer points out that SPT is not foolproof and that they can't always expect instant results. — Stacey 34 secs ago
#12157 Stacey (5618 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by Stacey (5618 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by Stacey (5618 rep)
#2662 gparyani (170 rep) | Q: sandbox and quality control (score: -1) | posted 18 minutes ago by Cursed (107 rep)
@JohnHamilton The type of "help" described in the question was literally handing them the OP's work for only minor obfuscating modifications then passing off as their own. If you mean some other kind of help perhaps clarify that in your answer :) And, yes, doing other people's homework for them, for a fee, is obviously and absolutely grounds for expulsion. — Lightness Races in Orbit 53 secs ago
#12100 Lightness Races in Orbit (344 rep) | A: How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work? (score: 1) | posted 28 hours ago by John Hamilton (528 rep)
#2662 Cursed (107 rep) | Q: sandbox and quality control (score: 0) | posted 21 minutes ago by Cursed (107 rep)
#12157 Stacey (5618 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by Stacey (5618 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by Stacey (5618 rep)
@Stacey I indicate that I tried to use SPT. Clearly I can improve my methods... Taking time to let these connections generate organically sounds great, and it protects against hurting people who might be sensitive. But it is still SPT. To answer with "don't" is the same as saying I should never try to deepen any of my relationships... The question is HOW — Jesse 1 min ago
#12157 Jesse (3549 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by Stacey (5618 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by Stacey (5618 rep)
#12157 Jesse (3549 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: 1) | posted 3 hours ago by Stacey (5630 rep) | edited 9 minutes ago by Stacey (5630 rep)
11:03 AM
@curiousdannii I wouldn't say it is exactly clear that he has made a factual statement. The Crown Prosecution Service publishes a 'government definition' but is explicit that it is not a legal definition and if it were it isn't clear that the described behaviour meets it, lacking anything 'isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.'. — Spagirl 1 min ago
#2660 Spagirl (8932 rep) | A: How to deal with abusive moderators like Catija and HDE 226868? (score: 16) | posted 8 hours ago by HDE 226868 (6361 rep)
@Tinkeringbell: You already gave a very well cited answer to the scientific aspects, which I up-voted and I have nothing to add to that. The OP ask about How to apply this in his personal space though, so I shared my toughs and my approach. The Stack...-sites already have a very good mechanism to rate and get the relevant answers to the top - in fact they are built around this very problem - no need to police around. If there is a site-policy on sources, it should be in the help-center not in some old meta-posts. — Daniel 1 min ago
#12160 Daniel (1615 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Daniel (1615 rep)
This message reads very passive aggressive, especially the final sentence. Short and simple can be fine but being too blunt or aggressive is likely to simply alienate someone or cause an argument. — Tay W 51 secs ago
#12164 Tay W (171 rep) | A: How do I talk to a work friend about their constant no-shows for catch-ups? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by Nat (193 rep)
#12142 peufeu (10008 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 22) | posted 12 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2406 rep) | edited 8 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2406 rep)
11:23 AM
@fkraiem When I talked about whether humans are animals, I didn't mean in a purely biological sense, in which case of course humans are animals; rather I meant a metaphysical one, as we were discussing human nature. — Touchdown 26 secs ago
#12130 Touchdown (16 rep) | Q: How might it be appropriate to ask someone to back up a claim they make in conversation? (score: 2) | posted 17 hours ago by Touchdown (16 rep) | edited 14 hours ago by Em C (5918 rep)
11:34 AM
#12141 Strawberry (101 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 15) | posted 13 hours ago by anonymous (76 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
#12169 XtremeBaumer (670 rep) | Q: How to respond to "Wow, your eyelashes are so long!" (score: 0) | posted 3 minutes ago by user9506231 (1 rep) | edited 8 seconds ago by user9506231 (1 rep)
@MarkMicallef The use of this question to attack a moderator for rightly questioning your poor quality answer is totally passive-aggressive. — Astralbee 46 secs ago
#12145 Astralbee (8332 rep) | Q: How to deal with an abusive moderator - Catija (score: -14) | posted 11 hours ago by Mark Micallef (76 rep)
Am I right to assume that she says "...she needs to be able to tell me what she thinks" freely, but you are not allowed to do that as well? What would happen if she was asked how she would react to being told she is stupid because the doesn't know that she is supposed to be more empathetic. — Keeta 1 min ago
#12141 Keeta (101 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 15) | posted 13 hours ago by anonymous (76 rep) | edited 13 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
Unfortunately, this question appears to be asking “What should I do?”, which the community has determined to not be a good fit for Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange. We can’t decide for you what to do; after you determine what you want to do, we can help you with your goal, but we can’t make these decisions for you. Sorry. — Arwen Undómiel 17 secs ago
#12169 Arwen Undómiel (1925 rep) | Q: How to respond to "Wow, your eyelashes are so long!" (score: 0) | posted 14 minutes ago by user9506231 (1 rep) | edited 11 minutes ago by user9506231 (1 rep)
11:50 AM
Since the idea came up today again, I wouldn't mind volunteering for helping the idea become a reality. I hope more people will do so, and we can open one up soon :-) — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#1500 Tinkeringbell (16701 rep) | A: Should we open a sandbox? (score: 11) | posted 209 days ago by HDE 226868 (6361 rep)
@Stacey I say those things because that is how the issue at hand is prefaced to me by my wife. I always told her, you have the debit card to use, you don't need to ask me if you can get things for the house or your coffee or whatever, I don't care what you get just give me the reciept so I can record it in our ledger. I don't say I need to decide how much she gets, she tells me I need to decide what she gets, it's bizare to me. — MCP_infiltrator 1 min ago
#12079 MCP_infiltrator (136 rep) | Q: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 7) | posted 39 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (136 rep) | edited 16 hours ago by MCP_infiltrator (136 rep) | Has magic comment
My wife of course gets a say, I do the budget (which never gets followed anyways), but whenever I try to sit with her and explain where our money goes, she quickly becomes overwhelmed and becomes disinterested in the coversation and exits it. You mention the chocolate bar, I don't want to be asked about things like that, its actually quit annoying, just get the thing. Right now we usually break even at the end of the year, some of my paychecks don't pay the bills for the next two weeks, sometimes my paycheck has left over. All I want is the reciept. — MCP_infiltrator 27 secs ago
#12135 MCP_infiltrator (136 rep) | A: Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance (score: 0) | posted 15 hours ago by Stacey (5640 rep) | edited 15 hours ago by Stacey (5640 rep)
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because the community has already decided that these questions, although they often provide a lot of fun, aren't the best fit for this site — Tinkeringbell 50 secs ago
#12169 Tinkeringbell (16711 rep) | Q: How to respond to "Wow, your eyelashes are so long!" (score: 0) | posted 22 minutes ago by user9506231 (4 rep) | edited 19 minutes ago by user9506231 (4 rep)
@Daniel -
If there is a site-policy on sources, it should be in the help-center not in some old meta-posts. Meta is where the policies are made. So a decision reached on meta is the policy. Something that is in the help center is more easily findable, yes, but that doesn't mean that meta decisions aren't policy. — Arwen Undómiel 43 secs ago
#12160 Arwen Undómiel (1925 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by Daniel (1625 rep) | edited 47 minutes ago by Daniel (1625 rep)
Thank you for providing a different view, I already have seen it as a challenge, while reassembling the cupboard, I gave my best to show her that I indeed am able to handle this, but instead of stopping to insult me, and acknowledge how I am handling this, she just continued to compare me to her father, which is a craftsman as well, and telling me how bad I am at this. I understand that in this particular event she might just be mad, but this is not the first time, and she sometimes does it without there being a reason to do so. So she doesnt give me a chance to improve. 1/2 — anonymous 50 secs ago
#12166 anonymous (76 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by peufeu (10008 rep)
#12141 John Bell (101 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 15) | posted 13 hours ago by anonymous (76 rep) | edited 13 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
Also I took responsibility, I told her that and tried to comfort her. The information that the staircase was to narrow was just so the readers have an idea about it. And even after telling her that I was not strong enough to carry it, she told me that I am not strong enough for a man. 2/2 — anonymous 1 min ago
#12166 anonymous (76 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by peufeu (10018 rep)
@ArwenUndómiel I explicitly stated that I'm open to peoples' thoughts and opinions — user9506231 2 mins ago
#12169 user9506231 (4 rep) | Q: How to respond to "Wow, your eyelashes are so long!" (score: 0) | posted 30 minutes ago by user9506231 (4 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by user9506231 (4 rep)
Yes, but unfortunately, this type of question doesn't really work on this site. Sorry. If you edit to say what you'd like to accomplish with your response, and ask how to accomplish that, then that would be more acceptable here. — Arwen Undómiel 24 secs ago
#12169 Arwen Undómiel (1925 rep) | Q: How to respond to "Wow, your eyelashes are so long!" (score: 0) | posted 31 minutes ago by user9506231 (4 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by user9506231 (4 rep)
@Arwen Undómiel: You are aware that the current vote on Meta can change anytime? Do you expect the site user's to frequently check and update their posts accordingly? Also the linked meta posts are explicitly calling to not make backing up mandatory and are really not entirely clear on how the best form is on this site. What is wrong with letting the stack overflow system work and bring the good answer to the top? — Daniel 31 secs ago
#12160 Daniel (1625 rep) | A: How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by Daniel (1625 rep) | edited 52 minutes ago by Daniel (1625 rep)
@ArwenUndómiel As stated: "I would like to simply acknowledge their remark and move on with the conversation". I am asking for people's ideas on how to do that. Hope this helps — user9506231 1 min ago
#12169 user9506231 (4 rep) | Q: How to respond to "Wow, your eyelashes are so long!" (score: 0) | posted 36 minutes ago by user9506231 (4 rep) | edited 11 minutes ago by user9506231 (4 rep)
#12158 Em C (5917 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: -1) | posted 4 hours ago by WoJ (807 rep)
#12141 LinuxBlanket (5294 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 15) | posted 14 hours ago by anonymous (76 rep) | edited 13 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
@Keeta I already told her that, she answered that the most important thing in a relationship is to be straight and honest with each other, without having to think about everything what you say. — anonymous 53 secs ago
#12141 anonymous (76 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 15) | posted 14 hours ago by anonymous (76 rep) | edited 13 hours ago by Catija (10247 rep)
#12169 Spagirl (8962 rep) | Q: How to respond to "Wow, your eyelashes are so long!" (score: 0) | posted 39 minutes ago by user9506231 (4 rep) | edited 14 minutes ago by user9506231 (4 rep)
#12145 Em C (5916 rep) | Q: How to deal with an abusive moderator - Catija (score: -16) | posted 12 hours ago by Mark Micallef (72 rep)
This does not really answer the question. If you have a different question, you can ask it by clicking Ask Question. You can also add a bounty to draw more attention to this question. - From Review — OldPadawan 54 secs ago
#12158 OldPadawan (8610 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: -2) | posted 4 hours ago by WoJ (805 rep)
If she compares you to her dad all the time, you're in trouble! Have you tried giving her less attention? How do you communicate? Texts? — peufeu 42 secs ago
#12166 peufeu (10036 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by peufeu (10036 rep)
12:42 PM
"You can't change her verbally abusive ways, and the problem is not about you." Well, he cant but she can, so what the op should do is to work on her, not throw away like trash just because she is not perfect. One only wants to let go of people who refuse to change. — Empischon 10 secs ago
#12142 Empischon (259 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 25) | posted 13 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2404 rep) | edited 9 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2404 rep)
#2662 Em C (5918 rep) | Q: sandbox and quality control (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by Cursed (107 rep)
The behavior described in the original post does describe abusive behavior. It is fair to moderate based on the profanity and the appearance of providing legal advice. But it would be very hard, if not impossible, to give the OP the best advice without being "not nice" to the girlfriend. — Thomas Carlisle 1 min ago
#2660 Thomas Carlisle (511 rep) | A: How to deal with abusive moderators like Catija and HDE 226868? (score: 19) | posted 10 hours ago by HDE 226868 (6361 rep)
@ThomasCarlisle Remember we aren't an advice site. We're a Q&A site. The OP asked how to communicate something with their girlfriend. Calling them "sadistic, narcissistic and emotionally unstable" isn't necessary to answer that question. — sphennings 1 min ago
#2660 sphennings (4877 rep) | A: How to deal with abusive moderators like Catija and HDE 226868? (score: 19) | posted 10 hours ago by HDE 226868 (6361 rep)
She does indeed sometime. I think the reason for this is that she lost her mother when being — anonymous 45 secs ago
#12166 anonymous (81 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: -2) | posted 2 hours ago by peufeu (10044 rep)
'I can see that you are speaking with conviction, and I can assure you that I'm engaging in this with all seriousness and respect and am anxious to work out the problem.' The use of "anxious" here sounds a bit off to me (though I admit english is not my first language, I may just never encountered this use of the word). Couldn't it be better substituted by another word like "eager" or "keen"? — xDaizu just now
#12126 xDaizu (271 rep) | A: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 42) | posted 20 hours ago by Spagirl (8962 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Spagirl (8962 rep)
12:59 PM
#2634 Edgar (2169 rep) | Q: How do we engage more people to contribute on meta, to create a wider mandate for our policies? (score: 11) | posted 5 days ago by JAD (3513 rep) | edited 4 days ago by JAD (3513 rep)
#12122 Arthas (1340 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 17) | posted 22 hours ago by Arthas (1340 rep) | edited 48 seconds ago by Arthas (1340 rep)
#12122 Arthas (1340 rep) | Q: How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her? (score: 17) | posted 22 hours ago by Arthas (1340 rep) | edited 49 seconds ago by Arthas (1340 rep)
1:10 PM
@xDaizu It certainly could. I usually note, when I offer dialogue, that it is merely an example and that people should use the words that work for them. I never intend to present a prescribed script. I'll add that caveat here. — Spagirl 46 secs ago
#12126 Spagirl (8962 rep) | A: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 42) | posted 21 hours ago by Spagirl (8962 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Spagirl (8962 rep)
#12173 Jess K. (9535 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 0) | posted 3 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
I know the systems of SE. this is about not about how to comment, but about how not to upset. — Daniel 53 secs ago
#12173 Daniel (1635 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 0) | posted 6 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
Not only it belongs to meta, but has many topics about it, and, more broadly, about how we can improve this stack — OldPadawan 1 min ago
#12173 OldPadawan (8610 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 0) | posted 6 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
#12173 Daniel (1635 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 0) | posted 6 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
#12173 Jesse (3574 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 0) | posted 6 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
What is the best way to communicate possible improvements without triggering a negative response? + I want to get the interpersonal solution on how to communicate = be nice, explain, ask (comments are for this), VTC if needed, seems to be a good start. But it's still to be discussed on meta IMHO. — OldPadawan 50 secs ago
#12173 OldPadawan (8610 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 0) | posted 9 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
Moderators exist to enforce the rules that allow us to maintain our community where anyone can contribute. In an instance where somebody's answer doesn't follow these rules (and I understand you don't think that's what happened here), do you think moderators should be able to interfere? How do you think moderators should be acting instead? Lastly, rules are largely set by the community. Do you think any rules could use improvement? Meta is a strong platform for discussing improvements. It is not well suited for pointing to an alleged problem and demanding change. — Lord Farquaad 1 min ago
#2659 Lord Farquaad (838 rep) | Q: How to deal with abusive moderators like Catija and HDE 226868? (score: -7) | posted 10 hours ago by Mark Micallef (72 rep) | edited 10 hours ago by sphennings (4876 rep)
As mentioned in the comments, we still need to know how you will have this conversation with her — Jesse 40 secs ago
#12105 Jesse (3574 rep) | Q: How can I convince her that I truly changed? (score: -5) | posted 28 hours ago by ash last (1 rep) | edited 27 hours ago by Spagirl (8962 rep) | Has magic comment
Im going to dissent with these comments. Given what I've seen in comments across the stack, this would be a good topic to discuss here, not in Meta. — Richard U 46 secs ago
#12173 Richard U (6147 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 0) | posted 12 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
This question is not about how to behave on IPS. These communication errors occur in all stacks! I thought a Q/A for how to effectively communicate in a given situation would belong exactly here? — Daniel 36 secs ago
#12173 Daniel (1635 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 0) | posted 13 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
1:27 PM
#2667 OldPadawan (8610 rep) | A: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 2) | posted 5 minutes ago by Richard U (6137 rep)
Moderators exist to enforce the rules that allow us to maintain our community where anyone can contribute. In an instance where somebody's answer doesn't follow these rules (and I understand you don't think that's what happened here), do you think moderators should be able to interfere? How do you think moderators should be acting instead? Lastly, rules are largely set by the community. Do you think any rules could use improvement? Meta is a strong platform for discussing improvements you'd like to see. It is not well suited for pointing to an alleged problem and demanding change. — Lord Farquaad 1 min ago
#2659 Lord Farquaad (838 rep) | Q: How to deal with abusive moderators like Catija and HDE 226868? (score: -7) | posted 10 hours ago by Mark Micallef (72 rep) | edited 10 hours ago by sphennings (4876 rep)
I'd have to downvote this, because I disagree that the question is good based on the meta's we have here, and the fact that you call it a 'personal problem' already makes it clear that it isn't about Interpersonal Skills. I have to say I do appreciate you stepping forward and explaining why you thought it a good question though, that helps. It seems whatever is currently decided on meta is out of line with how you feel about what would make a good question for this site, so I hope you keep contributing your views on that :) — Tinkeringbell 2 mins ago
#2665 Tinkeringbell (16770 rep) | A: What's so good about question 11583: Should I go back to therapy? (score: -3) | posted 11 minutes ago by Edgar (2169 rep)
This question is not about how to behave on IPS. These communication errors occur in all stacks! I thought a Q/A for how to effectively communicate in a given situation would belong exactly here? — Daniel 2 mins ago
#2666 Daniel (1635 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 1) | posted 15 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
Im going to dissent with these comments. Given what I've seen in comments across the stack, this would be a good topic to discuss here, not in Meta. — Richard U 3 mins ago
#2666 Richard U (6137 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 1) | posted 15 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
#2666 Em C (5916 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 1) | posted 18 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
#2666 Em C (5916 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 1) | posted 19 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
#2666 Daniel (1635 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 1) | posted 22 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
I agree with @DonQuiKong 's comment. If OP's girflriend is "hard of hearing", anger can help to make her realize she's stomping on an important boundary better than any peaceful reasoning and that she cannot give him for granted. — LinuxBlanket 18 secs ago
#12142 LinuxBlanket (5294 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 28) | posted 14 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2406 rep) | edited 10 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (2406 rep)
@Edgar The rules are more relaxed here - (on-topic) discussion is allowed in meta comments to some degree. — Em C 59 secs ago
#2634 Em C (5916 rep) | Q: How do we engage more people to contribute on meta, to create a wider mandate for our policies? (score: 11) | posted 5 days ago by JAD (3513 rep) | edited 4 days ago by JAD (3513 rep)
Does this answer your question? Etiquette for posting civil and informative comments — Em C 30 secs ago
#2666 Em C (5916 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 1) | posted 28 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
@Daniel, according to what is in the meta post EmC linked, I really think it's best to have this question here, instead of on the main site, since the post started out by mentioning SE. I'm afraid that if it's put back to main, it will get closed as being too broad or unclear... — Tinkeringbell 34 secs ago
#2666 Tinkeringbell (16770 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 1) | posted 29 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
#2666 Daniel (1635 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 1) | posted 34 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep) | edited 11 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
Okaaay, then let's work here to find out what you want to know, and maybe we can work from that. Don't delete it yet, the way it is now it probably will be useful for people looking for the information that you're not looking for, so you might as well have a good meta contribution to your name ;) — Tinkeringbell 56 secs ago
#2666 Tinkeringbell (16770 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 1) | posted 35 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep) | edited 12 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
Communicating improvements sounds like you're looking for a feedback method? Those are definitely on-topic on main ;-)... I think it would be interesting to have a question on that combined with only written communication (since that rules out the non-verbal and tone-of-voice aspects of giving feedback)... Does that help? — Tinkeringbell 8 secs ago
#2666 Tinkeringbell (16770 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 1) | posted 36 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep) | edited 13 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
@Em C: No, I am not asking how to be nice. I am asking on how to best convey constructive critique to someone in a specific, restricted form of communication to the best effect — Daniel 42 secs ago
#2666 Daniel (1635 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 1) | posted 37 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep) | edited 14 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
1:50 PM
@xDaizu In case you're interested, the sense I'm using 'anxious' in is this one 'Having a strong desire for something, to do something, or that something should happen; keen, eager, greatly concerned.' which the Oxford English Dictionary gives usage examples for dating back to the 16th century. :) — Spagirl 50 secs ago
#12126 Spagirl (8972 rep) | A: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 43) | posted 21 hours ago by Spagirl (8972 rep) | edited 37 minutes ago by Spagirl (8972 rep)
The meta answers talk about and give a lot of examples of what would be a good constructive comment on SE in the meta post so I'm not sure what you are looking for, then.. — Em C 42 secs ago
#2666 Em C (5916 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 1) | posted 40 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep) | edited 17 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
#2667 Daniel (1635 rep) | A: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 4) | posted 31 minutes ago by Richard U (6137 rep)
I think it can work on main (write a new one, don't mention SE, and leave this one here, you could edit this one to be specific to SE and have the SE guidelines here..) It does need some info on your current approach or how you're think you're upsetting... or from the other side, how a 'normal' looking comment still managed to upset you.. — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#2666 Tinkeringbell (16770 rep) | Q: How to comment/improve answers in a helpful way on SE? (score: 1) | posted 41 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep) | edited 17 minutes ago by Daniel (1635 rep)
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