I need to talk with my son, let's call him Jay, about moving out. He is 28 and has had severe depression over the years. Jay's very intelligent but lazy. He left college after the 1st year and has had several jobs. To make a long story short (er), he was living with his father and his father's g...
@avazula not so sure about that. There was a party at work yesterday. I expect a significant portion of the employees to be hungover. I know for a fact it includes me
On the fun side, my computer is nowhere near as buggy as management XD Just opened an e-mail saying I should finish some mandatory training by the end of next week, while the other mails I got about it give me till the end of March :/
@JAD But I need to practice my ASL lessons!
Also I feel like a horrible mod now...
I answered a question I still have comments waiting for an answer on.
@Tinkeringbell I think the question and answer are good at the moment but that extra information would be helpful and an edit can be performed later as it will not change the subject of the answer :)
@CaldeiraG Yeah I do feel bad about it though, as a mod I'm kinda supposed to encourage people to think about improving questions before answering them ;)
I am working an office job under a manager who I like and trust. He's very competent, a good person, a hard worker and generally open to feedback. This is his first leadership role (about 2 years in now). I consider myself lucky to have a boss like him. We have a good work relationship and person...
@ExtrovertedMainMan 'obvious struggle with anxiety' > Should I address that in a comment? It doesn't look like an obvious case of any anxiety disorder to me :/ But we're not here to diagnose :|
@Tinkeringbell yea, I had the same thought. It rather screams autistic to me but not because you have the symptoms does it mean you actually are (or that you'd care to know).
It does feel like it may go a little bit too much against 'respect the premise' (where the premise is 'boss has an anxiety disorder')... but I really feel leaving it in would just have massively distracted answers?
I just... I remembered a question from @Ælis about something similar, I think? About telling someone they might have autism too?
It's a bit... I'm torn between leaving in (very vaguely) that they suspect a larger issue at play, and want to tell the manager these may be signs of a mental health problem, and having a focused question that helps them actually address the problems caused by the behaviour :/
@avazula It's an interesting discussion. It's weird to see how many people think the contraceptive pill is THE way to prevent involuntary pregnancies, so it should be free for every female...
@avazula It does! I had my least productive week sometime last year when I was doing so much paperwork!!!
@Tinkeringbell huh. I know people who would be mad for that, given that they're already mad about the idea of period pads and tampons getting paid by the health state program
Over here, it's free until you're 18, then you pay for it until 21, and women over 21 can pay for a higher level of insurance that also covers the pill.
There's a news article about the Dutch state getting a court case against them to provide the pill in the mandatory, basic, insurance instead of just for higher premiums.
I'm on the fence about it. There may be some medical reasons people take it, but it's not expensive... Apparently one of the arguments is that 15 euro's every 3 months is too much for poor people with medical reasons to take it.
There are also other ways to get that to these people though, IMO.
Although I've had issues wrt birth controls methods and was on an uncommon one for a while. 15eur per month and it gave me allergies that came straight from Hell. I was 15. 15eur is a big amount of money when you're a teen :p
I at least don't agree with the argument that it solves a societal problem of unwanted pregnancies. There's a much more sure-fire way of doing that XD.
I also read an argument that condoms are a better choice for that, as they also prevent STDs.
@Tinkeringbell yeah, people tend to detach pregnancy and health issues. That's a shame.
@Tinkeringbell birth control is considered medicine over here so it's partially reimbursed by the state health program. But the uncommon ones aren't :/
@avazula Yep, like I said... for health issues it's a different thing. (Oh, and I just realized this isn't just about the pills, but also about implants, shots, and stuff... the more expensive forms of contraceptives, and giving poor people that are now stuck with pills the option to choose the more expensive ones... I'm not sure how I feel about that).
On the one hand it's never fair if money decides what you can/can't have... but on the other, I'm not sure how much strain our social systems can take anymore, and increasing healthcare prices are a thing that's making it break :/
@Tinkeringbell You know, I'm really glad I got a copper UID ... nothing else worked and I've needed it at a very young age because of period pains. Nothing else worked, literally. I once gained 30 kilos in 6 months because of an implant. But that doesn't come for free. I couldn't have gotten an UID at 15 because of its price.
Pills just messes up with my hormones and I become a pile of nerves and sadness
@avazula I've stopped short of trying UIDs, as they can have so many side effects too. Pills worked reasonably fine for me, until the one I was taking (Diane) got a negative recommendation here due to newly discovered side-effects.
So of course the next time I visited the doctor for something totally unrelated, they switched my prescription :/
After that, it was a series of pills, shots, and an implant, before I got the pills I have now. They're supposed to block all periods, but only work about 80% of the time for me...
@JAD Yeah, they end up in the void eventually XD It's just that the longer this 'discussion' I'm reading goes on, the less I think that 'I know what they're talking about'
@brug Oh, a reaguursel is a Dutch thing ;) It's mostly a comment with your opinions underneath an opinion piece, the term originated on some less savory sites but is mostly applicable to the entire internet now :P I posted mine on a news site, the story I was discussing this morning ;)
You know... the kind of comments we'd nuke on sight on IPS :P
@brug That's... a very idealistic take ;) I don't necessarily disagree, but I do see some problems with that. Mainly that if legislation is made that says birth control, while not a medical necessity, should be made available for free through health insurance, there's a whole lot of room for people to start more court cases to force the government to provide other frivolous things through health insurance :/
I guess it boils down to whether it's an absolute, medical, necessity, to the point that it should be provided for free within the Dutch healthcare system.
For reference: There's a deductible of 385 euros a year. If you're using blood pressure meds, you first pay your deductible, then get the rest covered. If you go skating and break a leg, you first pay your deductible, then get the rest covered.
@brug Yeah :/ It's what I considered when talking about birth control on the news site too: It's not fair if only people with money can have the birth control they need...
@brug I might be gone then, usually dinnertime comes up in about 10 minutes ;)
For Valentines day, my girlfriend told me she doesn't want chocolate or flowers. Instead of those things, she wants a specific beauty product which is roughly the same cost of chocolates and flowers. I ordered it online a week before Valentines Day, but it won't arrive until the following Monday....
@ExtrovertedMainMan "How old is she" XD but seriously this sounds so ungrateful :/
I'm not too worried about the confrontational, though one thing I use when I feel like I may be too confrontational: Don't quote their own words back at them, but paraphrase and talk about how you understood them, what meaning you ascribed to them.
You're lacking backup though. See https://interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/q/3583/1599... We're very strict on that.
@Tinkeringbell Thanks for the tip. What kind of backup would fit a "don't do it" kind of answer ? I have personal experience with not being patient with people's feelings. But I'm not sure it could backup anything. Admitedly it's only my opinion about what is respect.
If you can explain what can go wrong if someone does a certain thing (where certain thing is proposed in the question), please do. If you've bettered your ways and see how your relations with people are better now, that works :)
Apparently the secret ingredient is patience, now we want to know what happens if you leave it out or put it in the recipe ;)
Background:
Recently, a young couple moved into our area, and started going to church in our congregation. They first couple months, they struggled to make friends and fit in, so my wife and I decided that we would do what we could to help them feel more welcome.
As part of that effort, our fr...
If my girlfriend wants to go out to an expensive restaurant, is it ok to tell her I can't afford it occasionally (since I almost always pay for us both)? I'm fairly well off, but most of my money is wrapped up in investments, which I've accumulated over several years. I also have a little money i...
Background:
Recently, a young couple moved into our area, and started going to church in our congregation. They first couple months, they struggled to make friends and fit in, so my wife and I decided that we would do what we could to help them feel more welcome.
As part of that effort, our fr...
