The Awkward Silence

chumpbot

00:03

"Since virtually everyone in China uses one of these apps (or both), I would expect most people in China to be familiar with this emoji and the gesture it mimics". True, you didn't say everyone or even "everyone". But I've been at enough diverse gatherings in which the topic of one odd emoji or another came up and nobody present understood what it was supposed to mean to feel like most of the emojis may be common knowledge, but there will still be quite a few that really aren't. — Ed Grimm 59 secs ago

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

ElizB

00:19

Ping me if you want to keep in contact on discord. Recent events have made me reconsider my participation here. I won't leave right away, you all have time to get my contact info but I won't be around much longer.

chumpbot

00:35

Comparing the two questions, it seems to me the big difference between the two is the other question is about people who are apparently attempting to manipulate people with their self-deprecation, but that element is not apparent here. It's plausible that one of the people was attempting that, but the other one thwarted them by responding with oneupsmanship. — Ed Grimm 2 mins ago

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

Rainbacon

02:42

@ElizB Yes please for keeping in contact

Extroverted Main Man

03:41

0

Q: How to express frustration that friend left without telling anyone?

I have a problem where I either say nothing or get abrasive when I try to get a person to stop doing something that bothers me. This is why I'm asking here. My friend (Bob) had invited me and another person (Joe) to bowling. Bob chose a location close to his home. I was 15 minutes late, which I v...

El'endia Starman

05:22

@Rainbacon For me: I can be reached at my Gmail - lee314b or on Discord as El'endiaStarman#8918. I will probably also continue to hang out in a few SE chat rooms, possibly including this one. TBD

dhein

06:06

Good Morning everyone. And Good almost Noon to AJ :P

Extroverted Main Man

06:27

0

Q: Long distance dating, with a language barrier, while working night shift

Recently I have met a girl during my vacation in Macau. We exchanged contact and since then we have dated twice. So far they went well, but I am expecting many difficulty between us in the future. For example: She is Vietnamese and I am from Hong Kong. We can both speak mandarin but not very we...

relationships romance dating

avazula

@ElizB Me too please!

And hello everyone

Mithical

@ElizB Not even in Codenames? :(

dhein

@ElizB Do I need a sound reason, or is it ok to just say "just for the case"? :P I mean I enjoyed the 1 or 2 conversations we had in the past ^^

Tinkeringbell

07:27

@El'endiaStarman @ElizB I'm sorry to see you both go, but I can understand. If I remember correctly, @brug set up a Discord Server for IPS people, if possible, I'd love to see you both there :)

Ælis

@Tink You change your avatar! You look fierce with this new one. Like a majestic dragon but with a parrot

Mithical

or the angel of death, take your pick

Ælis

Also, morning everyone :)

@Mithical I would argue that an angel of death or a dragon are practically the same thing

chumpbot

"How's this complicated?" => OP seems (very?) young and says it's her first sexual partner, so, lack of experience and feeling insecure seems to be, at best, the 2 main bullet points here. Plus: "shave/trim" => what about people who like hair?! How do you know that OP or her partner would have to do that? To me, this isn't an answer, it's just throwing a couple of "I do this, do it too", but doesn't provide any explanation or background. It doesn't fit our criteria for IPS. It needs to be heavily edited and improved. So, to me, that's a -1. — OldPadawan 3 mins ago

#23938 OldPadawan (18087 rep) | A: Girlfriend indicated that she wants to pleasure me orally, which startled me, now things are stifled (score: 0) | posted 4 hours ago by flagshumbug (29 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by flagshumbug (29 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["+1"]

Tinkeringbell

@Mithical I did pick it because it had something sinister about it, yes.

It wasn't really meant to look fierce... it's meant to look sad.

dhein

07:44

@Tinkeringbell Looks like a tattoo. You don't plan to tatto a sad parrot, do you? :P

Tinkeringbell

@dhein No, I don't think so. I don't think my skin will react well to that.

dhein

@chumpbot Isn't this a bit problematic considering the title? I mean... IIRC this kind of title hitting the HNQ was why we got removed from HNQ at first, wasn't it?

@Tinkeringbell Maybe thats what their sadness comes from :P

CaldeiraG

Morning :)

Belle

Morning. What is that statement even? Oo

avazula

wow, @Tink ... What happened to the parrot?!

dhein

07:50

@Belle Which you mean?

Tinkeringbell

@Belle It's... all they can say. And it's highly inadequate.

@avazula It finally got too red, even for me.

avazula

@Tinkeringbell :(

Belle

I’ll talk on my computer later. Mobile is... meh. @dhein it got linked yesterday. It has downvotes

Tinkeringbell

I'm sticking, for now. Don't worry too much. I just wanted to do something, anything... and words kinda failed so I picked a picture.

13 hours ago, by Tinkeringbell

-27

A: Firing Community Managers: StackExchange is not interested in cooperating with the community, is it?

You all should know that this is very hard for us. This is what I am able to share: As you have seen, today there were some changes on the Community Team. Out of respect for their privacy, we aren’t able to comment on any specific current or former employees. We’re seeking to align the company...

(I can link it)

In case people missed it... Both Shog9 and Robert Cartaino were fired yesterday. It seems there also were less prominent people fired, including one SRE, from what I saw on Twitter.

dhein

@Belle Ah, I read that one already, Just wasn't sure what you were responding to, as I was missing the arrow to click at your message >.<

@Tinkeringbell concerning...

Tinkeringbell

07:57

@dhein It's... I have no words. These were two community managers that were doing a great job, at least from what everyone here was seeing. They helped around a lot getting IPS started too... and now they're just... gone

Belle

@dhein I’m on mobile. It’s... very meh.

dhein

@Belle Fair point

Belle

See y’all in about an hour o/

Tinkeringbell

see ya soon!

CaldeiraG

Well, i arrived at the office and a few minutes in I see SE is falling apart again :(

@Tinkeringbell :(

Tinkeringbell

08:47

@CaldeiraG Yeah

CaldeiraG

That's a bummer

avazula

Really is

CaldeiraG

Megan Risdal is also not staff, is this new or?

JAD

she left a month ago I think?

maybe a bit longer

CaldeiraG

Ah, fair enough, didn't notice :p

Journeyman Geek

09:01

She left - got hired back at her old job

She is missed, but its a choice worth respecting

CaldeiraG

@JourneymanGeek Ah I see, good luck for them!

chumpbot

09:48

How to get an employee to think more independently? Have you considered asking "How to telepathically tell my employees the exact solution I want so they can go off being oompa-loompa's and I can get rid of this hassle of trying to explain myself" Being a leader is about communicating a vision clear enough so that people smarter than you can create the path there. — Stian Yttervik 1 min ago

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

Tinkeringbell

@chumpbot tp

chumpbot

Marked this comment as flaggable (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.

Tinkeringbell

And what happened to our other comment bot?

Ælis

@chumpbot rude

chumpbot

Registered as rude and flaggable (tp). beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.

Ælis

10:02

Also, give me a cat @chumpbot

chumpbot

Ælis

@chumpbot Oh this one is very cute, I hope it gives me luck for my meeting (I'm going to ask for a 13% raise and hope for a 10% one)

JAD

good luck!

Ælis

Thanks :) (my manager is late and I'm going crazy right now)

WHY are people late? :'"(

Tinkeringbell

You'd have to ask the person being late ;)

Ælis

10:14

Well, I know why they are late. What I don't know is why it's culturaly ok to be late (in France)

avazula

@Ælis you don't know Hungary then xD

Tinkeringbell

I just hope my manager will be on time today, so that perhaps I can leave by 4pm.

avazula

10:36

@Tinkeringbell what is your normal timetable? 8-4?

Tinkeringbell

@avazula 9 to 5

On Tuesdays, a bit longer, usually 8:30 to 5

(at home, also a bit longer)

avazula

@Tinkeringbell so ... 35h / week?

Tinkeringbell

Nope, 40 hours a week but home days/Tuesdays are a bit longer, Mondays and Thursdays a bit shorter because more travel time.

avazula

ooh okay

ankii

Do adults have coffee maker machines in their houses?

Tinkeringbell

10:38

Yes.

ankii

first let me scrutinise your DP

Oh it's so beautiful! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyacinth_macaw

@Tinkeringbell does it taste better than Cafe coffee day/ Starbucks?

the latte/ cappuccino they serve..

avazula

@ankii It sure it better than their coffees. Latte/cappuccinos, idk

I don't drink that*

Belle

I have a coffee maker but I always oversleep, so I grab coffee from the mccafé

Tinkeringbell

@ankii No clue. I only drink Latte's at work, our coffee maker only does black coffee which I don't like.

ankii

If all these household coffee makers I see on google are so small, idk why our cafe has two machines 3 feet wide 1.5 tall 1.5 thick

@Tinkeringbell oh then I can buy one! does it give that yellow froth?

crema

@ankii for steaming I guess.. Latte(and a lot of other coffee) uses steamed milk

Belle

10:54

@ankii did you just... talk to yourself?

ah it's okay, if no one is talking back, you'll have to supply both sides of the conversation, I do that in my slack convo to myself

ankii

@Belle just to connect that statement to the previous one

hover on the little triangle and you get message id

Belle

@ankii I'm just teasing. Although it probably wasn't possible to read my joking tone on the screen :) I need to use more smilies.

ankii

@Belle lol.. I do that all the time

in The Screening Room, 15 mins ago, by ankii

forget it.. I am bad at talking.

Belle

I just read a post opposing wind turbines. Their logic was the following: insects get hit by the rotor blades and kills them. They slowly fall down, which attracts small birds, which get hit by the rotor blades while trying to eat the insects that are falling down and get killed too. While they slowly fall down, they attract bigger carrion birds, who also get hit by the rotor blades while they eat the small birds that are falling down.

I don't think that's how gravity works.

ankii

11:13

@Belle That's still more logical than windmills causing cancer (last para of the linked section)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Environmental_impact_of_wind_power#Birds though I'll be reading it in detail later..

Belle

@ankii Wow. There's obviously upsides and downsides to windmills. I believe the need for windmills and the problems they cause should be carefully evaluated and weighted. But nonsense arguments have no place in that.

Ælis

@Belle All those animals are falling really slowly ^^

Belle

@Ælis I have this odd and disturbing image of perpetual falling birds and insects around windmills in my mind now -shudder-

ankii

@Belle I also just realised that.. low frequency noise being the most surprising..

But it is promising that they kill less birds than cats, and coal based power plants and related pollution.

Windmill is something they can learn to fly by without hitting it, but the they can't escape the smoke and CO2.

Ælis

@Ælis So apparently my manager asked me how much I wished for a raise because he was already planning on giving me one and already knew how much he wanted to give me. I told him I was thinking of 13%. He basically told me "that's a lot, I already decide you would XXX (because we aren't that rich)". And now I'm like "why ask me how much I wanted if you already knew how much you would gave me???"

ankii

11:28

@Ælis but it was a good way to press for a higher one, then settle for something lesser but still acceptable one

Ælis

@ankii Well, I tried to do that, but it didn't really worked out. I'm still getting his first offer ><

ankii

may I ask which is ? in % ?

Ælis

I think I'm having a 5% raise (but my manager give me the amout for a full time, without taxe, per years while I asked for a part-time, with taxe, per month x) )

So, my calculation might be very not right ^^'

ankii

Lol..

gotta go..

Ælis

See you :)

Yep, my calculation were terribly wrong ><

Or... maybe not. I give up, all this is just too complicated for me ><

CaldeiraG

11:46

Conures gang war starts now

►

reddit.com/r/aww/comments/eoigua/gang_war_at_the_pet_shop

Ælis

@CaldeiraG The title is wrong. It should be "@Tink internal struggle" :p

Tinkeringbell

:) <3

Belle

12:42

@Magisch Oh hi other parrot. Been a while since I've seen you. I last recall you being a cactus.

Magisch

the cactus got too prickly

4

Belle

That's a very valid reason to change

brug

Here is a link to the Discord Server that @Tink mentioned earlier: discord.gg/648Frb

discord.gg/648Frb

CaldeiraG

@brug nice, will join it very soon

undefined

13:03

I have to make a decision between being honest and telling the truth and taking big chance of hurting someone emotionally badly or just not telling the entire truth and thus protecting the other person from potentially emotional suffering. I mean on one hand I dont think its my obligation to protect someone else. But on the otherhand it will be a burden for my self if I know words I've said hurt someone else badly. any advice?

scohe001

@Tinkeringbell not sure. TSM said he'd be bringing it back up, but then dropped off again. So I'm guessing he's just super busy (or maybe avoiding the site, which I wouldn't blame him for).

Tinkeringbell

@undefined Look into pro-social deceptions.

undefined

its a difficult topic and I feel bad and sad about it. It's about a girl which asked me why I dont want a relationship with her even though I have visible feelings for her. And I fear that an honest answer will hurt her badly

scohe001

Also I dig the new avatar @Tink. I just hear a loud "CAWWWW"

Tinkeringbell

Then decide what weighs heavier for you, integrity based trust vs. benevolence based trust. It helps if there's already a base in one or the other...

@scohe001 :)

undefined

13:06

because she has a disability and is in need of a wheelchair. And as cruel as it might sound, my honest answer would be 'if you wouldn't be disabled, I'm sure we could have a nice future together'

but I cant say that. Its so mean

I feel like a very bad person because of that

Ælis

@undefined I'm disable too. If this was the reason someone wouldn't want to date me, I would like to know, even if it's hurt.

@undefined Also, she will probably notice if you lie to her, so...

CaldeiraG

@undefined I'm not tryin to make any judgement but the truth seems like the best chance. You can lose them as friend though

undefined

we dated a few times and I really enjoy her company and spending time with her but I just cant imagine a future. for example she cant have kids but I would like to have kids later in my life

scohe001

How old is she if you don't mind me asking @undef?

Tinkeringbell

Then tell her that, be honest about it being *your* future dreams being differently from hers. You don't have to make it about her and her disability, you can also make it about you and what you want later that you can't see yourself having with her.

If it helps, and you do see another future for you two (e.g. as close friends), then you might draw a picture of that too... See where she wants to go.

undefined

13:12

yes, to lie is almost never good. I feel so torn

@scohe001 I'm 34

and she is 28

Belle

@undefined What about a middle ground? Something that's not a lie, but not hurtful. As I was typing this, I noticed @Tink wrote mostly what I wanted to say

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell +100

scohe001

Ahh then I think looking that far into the future (thinking of a family, etc) isn't unexpected. If you were both in high school it might be seen as more rude. But I think, while sad for both of you, your reasons are reasonable. That doesn't mean they're nice or easily accepted. But I think they're reasonable enough to share with her. And she's old enough to understand, even if it'll hurt.

undefined

yes, telling something which is not a lie, not hurting her and still telling the truth would be the best. I feel like its a very fine line between being honest and not making it about her disability. It is always very difficult for me to say something which might hurt someone

Ælis

@undefined Maybe you could ask a question about it on IPS? I think that's definitively something the whole community could help you with.

undefined

13:19

I have a lot to think about now. Thank you all for the input and your time

@Ælis yes, I could make a question out of if. Maybe thats a good idea

Ælis

@undefined You're welcome. Feel free to drop by anytime :)

CaldeiraG

@undefined You're welcome :)

Props to Tink tho :p

Tinkeringbell

@undefined Piece of advice: Put it in the Sandbox on meta first, if you're not sure. With questions like this, it's very important you have already thought of what to say, we can help you with how to deliver the message but not what the message should be :)

Ælis

Here is the Sandbox (in case it's needed) : interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/q/3129/21067

CaldeiraG

Here, lots of sand :p

AElis got it first :)

undefined

13:26

@Tinkeringbell yes, I know. I thought like a million times about what I want to say. It is just a little bit difficult for me to put my feelings into words, so that others understand what I mean but over all I know what I like to say, just the how is difficult

thanks for the links

ThePuzzlerThree

hi

@Ælis dig in that sannnd

Belle

@undef How long has she been in a wheelchair? If it's been a long time, she may be aware of dating as a disabled person. If it's somewhat recently, she may still not be so aware.

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to ask my mother to stop giving me unsolicited (health related) advices?

I have a lot of mental health issues and my mother tends to think that fixing my life is her duty. As such, she will often give me unsolicited health advice so that I could get "better". She would tell me "do more sport", "go to bed earlier", "eat better", etc... The thing is, she would tell me...

boundaries parents mental-health phone-calls

undefined

@Belle since ever, she was born with the brittle-bone disease

Ælis

15:05

@JAD Seems like your world is upside down now

El'endia Starman

@Tinkeringbell I don't remember seeing this. Link, perhaps?

Tinkeringbell

@El'endiaStarman Yeah, you'll need @brug for that, that's why I pinged her too...

Rainbacon

She posted the link again

Tinkeringbell

Oh, it was already posted. Good, I starred it!

It's in the sidebar now too...

Ælis

@scohe001 You're late :p

brug

15:08

><

scohe001

I just wanted to be part of the team :(

Rainbacon

Maybe schohe should program the bot to give the link on command

brug

@Rainbacon It expires after 24h

Tinkeringbell

I don't know. Do those links expire?

:D

scohe001

Lmao @Belle

brug

15:09

@Belle undelete yours

Belle

I'm trying XP

brug

I just deleted mine cause 3 was 2 too many

scohe001

I mean discord has an API I could hit for a new link if I hypothetically really wanted to try

brug

><

Rainbacon

You might need @Tink to do that? Or it might not be possible

Ælis

15:09

x)

brug

2 hours ago, by brug

https://discord.gg/648Frb

Rainbacon

@scohe001 Nah, I was mostly joking

Belle

This feels like a social whack-a-mole

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Nope, no undelete buttons, even for mods. But I edited the starred message to include a link :)

I'll unpin that tomorrow.

brug

^^

El'endia Starman

15:12

<hacker voice> I'm in.

scohe001

Are you saying you have a different voice that you normally talk with that's not your hacker voice? Amateur.

Tinkeringbell

@El'endiaStarman Good. Send Eliz over too ;)

Belle

@El'endiaStarman Now hook up the pipe to their funds to slowly drain it into a void

Or isn't that how hacker films work?

JAD

@Ælis Doesn't it feel like that a little bit?

the world being upside down?

Ælis

@JAD Well, I kind of feel like it was already like that :/

JAD

15:16

In space, there's no up :)

Belle

@JAD Why are you upside down, soldier?

avazula

yea, just saw that. Nevermind :)

brug

No worries!!!

JAD

3 mins ago, by JAD

@Ælis Doesn't it feel like that a little bit?

3 mins ago, by JAD

the world being upside down?

avazula

@Ælis gone

JAD

15:18

oh boy

whats happening

Ælis

@avazula Thanks, it was the second one from this user

avazula

@Ælis Mmh. I'll keep an eye on that.

There are one of the few features I'd miss if I'd step down

Rainbacon

Not so fun fact I learned from my book this morning: there's a long history of people making up and propagating false information about why autism exists. Long before the whole vaccine fiasco, a man with a PhD in art history started writing about how autism was a choice made by children to escape the emotional trauma of bad mothers.

avazula

@Rainbacon I've heard about that. We call them "freezer mothers" in French (because they're allegedly super cold towards their kids)

Rainbacon

@avazula The English term is Refrigerator mothers

avazula

15:25

Yesterday I learned that the creator of the bulletproof coffee method (who's also a convinced biohacker who thinks he's gonna live forever) thinks autism is curable and wrote a blog post on how he cured his ... with an appropriate diet. u_u throws table

Ælis

@avazula You are thinking of stepping done? (also, thanks for keeping an eye out :) )

brug

Ohh I think I've heard of this before. Didn't Freud latch onto that shiii

avazula

@brug yup, our dear Sigmund himself.

Belle

@Rainbacon That hits home. When I was 5 or so, my mom suspected I had autism and got me tested. The doctor said I didn't have autism because I had only 5 out of 7 criteria or something and she should just "let go of me" more. He basically said my behaviour was because of her being a bad mom.

brug

Freud really loved to hate mothers.

Rainbacon

15:26

@brug I'm not sure, but I know that dr was heavily influenced by Freud

Ælis

@brug Freud really love to hate woman too...

Rainbacon

@Belle I'm sorry that you had to go through that

brug

@Ælis Indeed

Rainbacon

As I was reading I couldn't help but wonder how many people went undiagnosed (and therefore were unable to get assistance) because their parents were afraid of being told that they were to blame. If I remember correctly, that was how Temple Grandin's mother was portrayed in the movie

Belle

@Rainbacon Thanks. I mainly feel bad for my mom though :\

CaldeiraG

15:28

@brug Huh? You can make a perma-link for a discord server

Ælis

@Rainbacon What movie? I didn't there was a movie!

brug

@CaldeiraG I mean you can. But I'm not sure I want a permalink in a public forum like this.

Rainbacon

@Ælis Temple Grandin

2

CaldeiraG

@brug I understand then :)

Ælis

@Rainbacon <3

Rainbacon

15:32

It's a pretty good movie. I highly recommend watching it at some point. Also, Temple Grandin is just an awesome person

avazula

^ +1

scohe001

Huh, that's a weird looking star -.-

Ælis

Yeah, I already knew the "awesome person" part :D We even have a "famous" (at least among feminists) comic about her (and other wonderful women): livre.fnac.com/a9697602/…

Rainbacon

If I remember correctly, when she gets diagnosed in the movie, her mother's first reaction is something like "no that can't be right, I'm a good parent" which I hadn't ever understood the significance of until this morning

avazula

@Rainbacon I mean, that's a good thing you didn't know about that

That's basically all we are about autism in France (thanks for the psychoanalysis legacy, France!)

Rainbacon

15:44

@avazula Even still it's that way?

Ælis

@Rainbacon Yep...

Rainbacon

:(

Ælis

But according to those same doctors, I "don't have autism", so everything is fine...

Thankfully we also have good doctors

avazula

The only person in France who doesn't question my diagnosis is @Ælis ... not even my mother ...

Ælis

@avazula :'( <3

Rainbacon

15:54

I have a lot of feelings from this. I don't exactly know how to describe them, but I almost started crying at my desk.

Belle

@avazula My favourite is "you don't look autistic". I'm going to scream at the next person who says that.

Big hugs to you, @avazula

@Ælis @avazula i.imgur.com/fUmNERA.mp4

Rainbacon

16:13

@Belle That's number 1 on my list of "things to never say to an autistic person"

brug

16:24

@Rainbacon Agreed!!!

Ælis

@Belle Awww, so much cuteness <3

@Rainbacon That plus the part where you are suppose to hide the fact that you are autistic because, apparently, it's shameful...

brug

@avazula F

Rainbacon

16:41

@Ælis I've been told that as well

Ælis

@Rainbacon I know. I was actually surprised when you first told me about it, but then I got officially diagnosed, announced it to my manager and it became clear that this was something they expected me to keep quiet about

avazula

@Belle aww, yay <3

Ælis

They even expected me to hide the fact that I had an official "handicap worker recognition". They didn't phrase it like that but they were "Oh, how could we explain that you are going part-time when coworker are gonna ask?" and then they give a "solution" without even asking me what I wanted to disclose or not (because for them it was obvious I didn't want to disclose anything...)

I mean, maybe they didn't think there was anything shameful with that, but, nonetheless, it made me feel like it really was

Also, they absolutely avoid talking about that. The subject makes them super uncomfortable so they never said once that I was on the autism spectrum. Instead, they use workaround sentences

It's like "you know you aren't gonna catch it by just talking about it, right?"

I wish I could talk with my manager about my health issues but, apparently, that's not gonna happen. I just always have to act like everything is fine. I'm fine, my health is fine, I'm not tired at all, nothing is exhausting me, I absolutely don't have depression and anxiety really is not an issue...

scohe001

7

Rainbacon

16:57

Yeah, I think what made it even more frustrating is the fact that my company puts a lot of emphasis on diversity. We have very clear aims to hire more women, people of color, and LQBTQ+ employees, and there are diversity groups within the company to promote and celebrate those different forms of diversity. It's great to see a company be committed to a diverse workforce, but that makes it sting even more when they say, "let's celebrate diversity, except for yours"

It feels at times like "hey, your difference isn't visible, so it's not as important"

@scohe001 lol

Ælis

@Rainbacon :'( What a way to delegitimize you... :/

Rainbacon

My current client actually has a group for neuro-diversity, which actually kind of makes me want to take them up on their offer at some point

Ælis

@Rainbacon I would totally understand if you do that. If someone asked me "do you want to work with people who understand you because they are suffering from the same thing?", I will totally answer "YES!"

Rainbacon

Sometimes I get imposter syndrome from it. I hear enough things and start to think if it's not obvious to people, then I must not be "autistic enough"

Ælis

@Rainbacon The same goes for depressed people. And depressed people who "don't look depressed enough" end up dead (killing themself). Remember that people are blind to others. They are even blind to part of themself. Autism is an invisible disability. If people think that you "don't look autistic" then it means that they don't know what autism is. Otherwise, they would know that "looking autistic" isn't a think

Rainbacon

17:11

If people think that you "don't look autistic" then it means that they don't know what autism is. <3

Ælis

<3

avazula

There are lots of amazing Instagram accounts on autism awareness and they say great shirt about how to dismiss "but you don't look autisticcccc"

Like this one

Ælis

It kind of reminds me that I "had to" lie during my annual review meeting. One of the questions was something like "What does the company represent for you?". So I said nice thing (because I don't want to be fired :p) and I said that I appreciate the values of the company. That the company was open-minded and all (which is true for some things).

But I'm still bothered by what I said because I don't think my company is open-minded enough when it comes to transgenderness (I'm still in the closet there) or autism (still on the closet there too since most of my coworkers don't know that I'm on…

I wish people there knew more about those two things, but I feel it's too dangerous for me to be the one to push for that

I wish my manager would take it upon himself to educate himself. But it seems like it's not happening :/

@avazula Maybe I should get an Instagram account, you all are always sharing very nice link there

avazula

@Ælis you don't need it if you don't plan on saving stuff I think :)

@Ælis Here's something that could help you too

Ælis

@avazula Isn't it useful to follow stuff though? Like if someone keeps posting interesting things and you want to know what they will post next?

avazula

17:23

@Ælis Sure

Ælis

@avazula "You have been clenching your jaw or grinding your teeth" -> Me, all day and night, every day of my life...

avazula

Haha

Rainbacon

My headset battery ran out, and not 10 seconds later, some sort of loud beeping started

Ælis

"You are not failing at life" -> This is so much how I feel all the time (like I'm failing at life). I'm glad that there are people out there that remember us that this is simply not true

@Rainbacon Murphy's law :/

Rainbacon

It kind of makes me want to go work from home for the afternoon, especially since there aren't many people in the office

Em C

17:30

@avazula that list reminds me of philome.la/jace_harr/…, I like how it's interactive :)

2

Ælis

So, I just made myself an Instragram account. What should I follow? ^^

avazula

@EmC This is genius

@Ælis Hold on one sec :D

Rainbacon

You should follow Finley

avazula

So me, of course haha

then

Ælis

@Rainbacon @scohe001 where is this Finley insta link? :p

@avazula Done! :D

Rainbacon

17:36

Here's Finley

Ælis

@Rainbacon Oh, lots of nice pictures! :D

avazula

hopster.the.autistic.girl / Autistic venting / Cerys the Chameleon / OMG I'm autistic AF / Dolly Autie / Confused Autistic / T'as pas l'air autiste | FR

Rainbacon

And of course there's always Me

I found out what the beeping was. It was a fire alarm. I'm fine, but judging by the firetruck parked outside and the firefighters coming into the building I would gather that somewhere things are not fine

avazula

Shameless autie / Share your autism / The Aspergian / Autistic Barbie / Aspie memes / The autistic life

21 and sensory / Stimastic's official account / Memes pour cool kids feministes | FR

And then for other topics than autism or feminism (haha)

/ Sarah Andersen | Drawing / Underpants and overbites | Drawing / Everyday Feminism (but you know that one) / Paye ton mainsplaining | Feminism, FR / L'empêcheuse | Feminism, FR

@Ælis Let me know once you're done so that I can move these messages to trash xD

Ælis

@avazula Why? They are very cool, don't throw them away!

Also, with all this reading, I will probably be quiet for a while now :p

avazula

17:48

A good number of them are in French (those with the 'FR' label) :p

Ælis

Well, if people want to learn French, that's a very good opportunity :P

avazula

I also have lots of Drag Queens accounts that I follow (I loooove that art!) and much more drawing accounts too :p

@Rainbacon :(

Ælis

@avazula Oh, by the way! Do you know that they are Drag Queen show in Paris? Do you know that some of them are at 30 minutes away by foot from my apartment? So, you know, if you want to go see one in "real life", I would gladly go with you :D (and let you sleep in my "home" for the weekend)

avazula

@Ælis eeeeeeeeeeeeeh! screams in joy

scohe001

Oh thanks for dropping that link for me @Rain!

avazula

17:53

I actually am preparing a plan to Paris for February /March. I haven't told you yet because I'm not sure when I can come but ill let you know when things are more settled! :)

Ælis

@avazula :D \o/ <3

avazula

('M looking for a house right now, takes a lot of time and energy :o)

Ælis

@avazula I totally understand that!

@avazula Also, I hope the strick would have end by then

avazula

@Ælis yeah, that also is an issue and partly explains why I won't come in January

Ælis

@avazula I can't blame you for that. Last time, it took me 2h to go home from the train station. It usually takes 40 minutes...

avazula

17:56

@Ælis :'(

Rainbacon

18:54

So it turns out that the fire alarm in my office was a false alarm, we found that out after my office manager made us walk down 20+ flights of stairs to go outside

So, I got my exercise for the week

avazula

@Rainbacon You mean month? :p

Tinkeringbell

Fitbit suggests 10 a day, so at most three days? :P

avazula

haha

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell No, I think Ava is right

Tinkeringbell

Of course, she always is!

avazula

19:01

imposter syndrome chimes in

Nah just kidding, I know I have full knowledge of this world and beyond. For I used to go by ... Janet, from neighbourhood 12578W

Ælis

@avazula After reading a lot of Instagram posts about LGBT+ stuff, feminist stuff and autism stuff, I feel like my emotions are overflowing. I'm probably gonna stop Instagram here for today ^^ But thank you for all those links <3 They are very interesting, heartwarming and also (unfortunately) heart-crushing

Tinkeringbell

@avazula I think a reference just flew over my head.

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell :O You don't know The Good Place!

avazula

@Ælis I was kind of scared this would happen ... I tried to provide you with relatively hopeful informational sites. But sadly when it comes to those topics it's a bit complicated to always be cheerful :p

@Tinkeringbell Let me try to refresh your memories :p

Hi there!

Tinkeringbell

Ohhhh! That one! :D

avazula

19:07

Yeah :D

Ælis

@avazula To be fair, even if it was all hopeful and cheerful, I would probably still be overflowing. That's just too much emotional data at once

avazula

She's supposed to be a vessel of absolute knowledge (which obviously I'm not). She's also super nice and always smiling and cheerful (which ... well, not obviously because we never met IRL but I am :p)

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis i.sstatic.net/B29Je.jpg < Have a relaxing, almost perfectly colour sorted, stack of crochet squares? :)

avazula

@Ælis Erh ... sorry :/

Rainbacon

Where's @chumpbot when you need a cat?

chumpbot

19:11

Ælis

@avazula No, don't apologize! I was the one who should have go slower, not you. You were perfect with all those links <3

avazula

@chumpbot OMG THIS IS FEDORA

(almost)

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell Oh, that's nice! Too bad they aren't in the "right" order though (yes, they are indeed not perfectly color sorted :p )

avazula

@Ælis I understand. I know it makes me feel anxious too sometimes so I only check it from time to time. Take care of yourself <3

Ælis

@avazula And the same for you <3

avazula

19:13

<3

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis Yeah, sadly they don't come out of the box entirely in order: there's one row that these off-color yellows and a blue :(

I'll send you another one once I got the pinks done, you'll love that ;)

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell Someone should definitively write to them to complain about that. How dare they not respect the color order? Are they rainbow haters? Do they wish to destroy the world with their chaos? Is this an attack on people eyes? Something fishy is going on here, we should investigate!

:p

Tinkeringbell

19:29

@Ælis It's the box size :P

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell All of this is part of the conspiracy, I know it!

Ælis

20:47

Thanks for the comment-answer @Rainbacon. The kind of comment like the one Stian is lefting are exhausting to deal with

Rainbacon

@Ælis I thought it might be, so I wanted to help you out

Ælis

@Rainbacon <3

scohe001

21:15

Oh oops. Looks like I was a little too slow

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