@chumpbot So i gave a reply to this but im not too sure of myself
queer is an umbrella term right? so you could be any type of queer, including visibly queer and it does not imply anything about any other queer person
Is there a way to see deleted comments? I saw a comment on one of my answers that I wanted to incorporate, but it appears to have been deleted since I saw it
was it this? - "Hire visibly queer workers." I'm not a fan of this language. To me it implies queerness is something that's always visible and that I can somehow act queer. Instead I would advocate opting for things like pronouns on employee name tags, asking customers for their pronoun, hanging up pride flags, etc. — jcmack 1 min ago
It's definitely complex, and the value that different trans people get out of being asked their pronouns is definitely different - closeted vs. non-binary vs. binary will all feel different about it to different extents. But it's definitely really uncomfy when it's a stranger in a situation where it's clearly out of place, very "you look weird" sort of vibe
@Tesset @NickiCaravella not a full answer, just an addition from a person that hates being accosted by sales associates asking me how I'm doing and how they can help: you can try just introducing yourself nicely and saying you'll be around in case your customer needs help. ("Hi, I'm Nicki. If there is anything I can help you with, I'll be by the counter") — Juliana Karasawa Souza 2 mins ago
2/2 The advice I'd give to you honestly, is to live your own life. Don't live for your parents. They will screw you over, treat you like trash, then turn around and pretend they didn't do any of it. It has been over a decade since then now (I'm 30 now) and I've never regretted telling them to get fucked. They did come back around and I see them 1-2x a year now. — notmySOaccount1 min ago
I'm not Asian but I come from a traditional Midwestern (US) family. My parents are the same way. They want to decide everything about my life. Despite being American citizens, they do not believe in key principles of our nation such as equal opportunity. For instance, they encouraged my brother to attend college, but they stopped me from attending college, told me that women don't belong in computer science (which is what I wanted to study) and told me I would be disowned if I studied CS anyway. Now, they lie. They say I made all that up and they've always believed in equal opportunity. 1/2 — notmySOaccount2 mins ago
I have a friend who is literally one or two hours late whenever we meet up. Thus, we don't go to anything with a set time/scheduling because she will miss the entire event. We usually just meet at a coffee shop to catch up. She comes 1-2 hours late. I usually just bring my laptop so I can work/br...
I'm alone all week, as Mr Ava is away for work. It made me realize I haven't lived on my own like, ever. Before moving in with him I was always sharing a flat with roommates. That's a weird experience. But a nice one.
@AlexRobinson Depends. There are several reasons. Rudeness to other users, consistent low quality contributions, sock puppet self-upvoting, trolling ...
@Belle Oh, that's nice! I'm sure @ava would like this recipe too :D
@avazula I hope you enjoy your alone time. It's always weird and lonely at first, but then it usually turns out to be pretty awesome (at least, that's my experience :p )
So, I was listening to a podcast this morning, and I found out that the US government has something like 100 billion lines of COBOL code still running. No wonder all of our social services are borderline unusable
But also if I become a COBOL programmer I can have a job for life
I am very disappointed with stack exchange. IMO, really all the COC should say is, something along the lines of, Be Nice, Don't be an Ass, and Don't aim to Harm
Means "The little chickens" or an endeared chicken, or a chick, or an endeared chick. Attaching "ito" to the end of a noun makes it endeared or smaller or both
@JAD Maybe? I'm the only person who is seeing the problem, but none of the tests that are breaking have anything to do with the code changes I've made. Also, the missing table is not one that I created
@FreezePhoenix I'm here pretty much every day M-F, occasionally around on the weekends
@FreezePhoenix I think I know what events you're referring to and if you don't mind, we'd rather not discuss again about it in here. It made some people uncomfortable so we decided to keep it off the chatroom.
Aha! I've found how it is related to my code. I changed a helper method that is called ~8 layers deep in the tests from another part of the code base (hint: monoliths are bad). But now I have to figure out why it says the table doesn't exist because my tests for the helper method don't have that error
@AGirlHasNoName I'm better than I used to. I think my new medication against depression is more effective than the last one. Things aren't perfect yet, but I like how full of energy I often feel :D
@Ælis That's great news. I hope it continues to get better. I've never been on medication but my wife has and I've seen how it can be when it isn't quite right.
I am doing pretty good. Things have been up and down for me for a while now and they still are but none of the lows have been too low if you know what I mean.
@AGirlHasNoName I'm surprised that you have never been on medication. I was under the impression that all trans people needed them at some point in their life ^^ But I guess it's good that you never felt badly enough that you needed to have some (if, indeed, that is the reason that you never had some?)
I've been wondering about that... I feel like I've slowly been crawling out of a very dark place over the last few months. A place I've been in for years. I remembered my mum discouraging me from seeking professional help because I 'can't be depressed', because 'nothing really bad ever happened to me'. I guess her premise was flawed. I'm a lot better than a few months ago now. I wonder if it's still worth seeking help now I'm recovering on my own?
@Belle Well, "nothing really bad ever happened to me" too but I was still very depressed and have been near killing myself more than a few times. So, "nothing really bad" isn't a good reason to not go seek help. Also, IMO, it's always worth seeking help, even if you are already getting better. If, after a few session, you realize that it's not helping, you can always stop
@Belle If that reassures you, I'm seeing a therapist even though I'm healed of all past trauma. I do this to learn how to better live as an autistic person in an NT world. It helps :)
@Ælis It's not that I have never needed them. It's that I have never sought treatment. I have had some pretty major mental health issues go untreated in the past, including anxiety and depression.
@Belle Yes it is worth it. Sometimes the way we heal ourselves gets us through the day, but it doesn't mean that we are completely whole.
And it is precisely that kind of mentality, plus the stigma that there is a moral failing and/or a weakness if you need it that has prevented me from seeking help in the past.
@AGirlHasNoName I was afraid this was the reason you never had treatment. I know how hard it can be to seek help. In the past, I waited up to three years before finally seeking help. I hope you will be able to ask for help in the future if you ever need to
The first step for me that helped me recover was accepting that I was damaged. That was a very difficult step, because I believed no single thing ever happened to me that justified being so damaged, so I could not be damaged. And while it was true that it was no single thing, it was numerous little things and they do justify the damage.
@Belle Remember you can always change therapist if one isn't good for you. Also, my current therapist doesn't know much about ASD but she is still able to help me, so you don't need to restrict yourself to the specialized one
@Belle "while it was true that it was no single thing, it was numerous little things and they do justify the damage." +1 for that. It was partially the case for me too
@Belle Also, I don't consider being bullied to be such a small thing. Being bullied, even if it's just by "small" words, can mess up your mental health very badly
As I read what I wrote I feel like I am still perpetuating the idea that the small things don't matter and I don't like that. I will need to work on that.
So I've run into this now and then when there might be a disagreement with girlfriend or ex to political issues with some friends where the other person flares up in a public or just crowded place and begins yelling and screaming. At times it can even be non-nonsensical but it seems, to me, that ...
@Ælis hahah. thanks :P the comments kept happening and ... well. if someone takes me up on it and asks Law and they say "yep, that's definitely clearly illegal" (which I highly doubt) then I'd say we have to take it out. but until then.. not so much
@AJ accurate - we just got a camera for in the house, and I check it during the day to watch my kitty...
@Rainbacon lol I think every vim user learns this the hard way eventually. Capital J pulls lines together and then when you go to undo, capital U doesn't do a regular undo anymore. Always freaks the crap out of me
New poster. Everything that I will describe happened for real about 10 years ago. If your reaction is "no person would behave like this" then you know how I felt at the time. As an introverted person I wasn't getting out of the house very often. I decided to join a public speaking society. I don't want to say which group it was; it has many hard working people who …
@Ælis Good article. That is something I struggle with. I want to embrace who I am but it is hard for me. I hope I gain that level of self-confidence at some point.
@AGirlHasNoName Other people's judgment always makes it harder. When I'm alone at home, I love my body. But if I need to go outside, then I become a shame of myself and the way I look
@AGirlHasNoName I think it's getting better with time. It's just frustrating to see how long it takes for me to be comfortable around other people eyes'
I am a 24 year old Indian male.There was a girl(22) who was staring at me in one of our common friend's party.I looked back at her when she was staring at me for very long.Finally she kept on looking at me when she realized that I caught her.I knew that she was one of my fathers friend's daughter...
Hey @ava can I have access to the gallery Trash please? (The one with the description saying to ask for access if you're an RO.) The irony being that I added that in there... :P
:) I won't be doing anything particularly special tomorrow (we're doing kind of a joint Thanksgiving + Christmas visit next week with MIL instead) - but I will be making cranberry sauce and sweet potato casserole, because they are delicious
