The Awkward Silence

Jesse

00:00

actually a quick google makes me more worried for their job security

im seeing a fair few cases where people who rightfully placed protection orders against colleagues, themselves got fired

how terrible..

hrdailyadvisor.blr.com/2017/08/29/…

Surely there is some other action you can take that will ensure you physical AND job security

El'endia Starman

@apaul Oh, that's a good point. Still, I would assume that's a relatively small percentage of people, so you're still probably gonna have the proportion of Christians with decent Biblical knowledge be less than 50%.

Alex

00:20

Well it is possible to be a good Christian without ever opening a Bible, correct?

user15026

@Alex Oh goodness, entire churches have fractured over this argument XD

Alex

Oh.

user15026

(aka you're not going to get a total agreement. Because....there's a LOT of variation on just about EVERYTHING within Christianity. It's very very very not homogenous)

user15026

Which is so funny to me, when people try to go "CHRISTIANITY WORKS LIKE THIS" because hoooo boy could i find you a ton of examples where that is not true

user15026

(I grew up Mennonite-ish, am now...a person with a Christ-based faith, but don't ask me to put a denomination on it because the whole thing just makes me shrug and go "hell if I know" because...it's complicated. Also, faith vs religion is a whole other kettle of fish.)

El'endia Starman

00:32

@Ash Probably my favorite depiction of this is the following cartoon:

user15026

@El'endiaStarman SO TRUE.

El'endia Starman

@Ash I'm similar; I grew up in a Wesleyan church and gone to a variety of others since then but nowadays I don't consider myself part of any denomination.

Em C

@Alex pedantic answer: sure, there are/have been plenty of illiterate Christians :P

user15026

I once tried to explain just the Mennonite sects in like a 20 km radius of my childhood home, and apparently the sheer amount of "and then you have this group who split off because they didn't like this rule" is mind boggling to some.

Alex

Okay, a quick search of the Christianity Stack turned up two questions about reading the Bible:

3

Q: Reasons many Christians not reading the Bible both OT and NT?

As you can see from my 'autobiography' I am not particularly denominationaly religious but interested. I have read the whole Hebrew Bible all the way through twice and the whole four Canonical gospels all the way through four times. Imagine my surprise when I read that in his 1996 book, I Was Wro...

bible-reading

4

Q: What is the importance of reading the Bible?

I have heard many pastors encouraging their members to read the Bible daily. Why do we have to read the Bible daily? Is going to church and listening to sermons not enough?

bible christian-living bible-reading

El'endia Starman

00:35

@EmC Hah, this is very true. Heck, most of the writings in the New Testament weren't written right away, so most of the earliest Christians wouldn't have had the Bible, in a sense. (The Bible itself wasn't codified until somewhere in the 400s.)

Alex

Both were closed as Primarily Opinion Based.

user15026

@Alex oh, yeah, I am sure they'd've been closed for that because...yeah, it's so not agreed upon.

El'endia Starman

@Alex See the image I posted above for the reason. :P We generally require that askers specify a denomination in their question (if it's not an overview).

Alex

So where can I find the overview?

user15026

I am not sure there is going to be one for this

user15026

00:40

Because you're trying to codify something that's not agreed upon in any real sense

user15026

Like your best bet is to pick a denomination/sect/branch of Christianity, and then investigate their thoughts

Alex

Well is there any denomination/sect/branch that says that you must read the Bible?

El'endia Starman

@Alex As a quick guess, it's probably super important to Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses.

I suspect the answer is "no". What if an adherent is blind?

Well, actually, most religions don't give a lot of thought to disabilities.

Alex

@El'endiaStarman And they had the highest levels of weekly service attendance according to the reprt you posted.

El'endia Starman

Right.

Alex

00:50

@El'endiaStarman Interesting. In Judaism there was actually a question posed to a 15th century rabbi about how blind people can fulfill the obligation of reading the weekly Bible portion.

user15026

01:02

@Alex Entirely possibly, most highly recommend it, at the very least

apaul

@El'endiaStarman You're not catholic, are you?

ElizB

@apaul I grew up catholic, and he did not, he went to a Weslyean church and went to different kinds of churches. His father is a minister and is very involved with the church.

El'endia Starman

@apaul I never was. (And to be honest, I'm glad I wasn't.)

Em C

@Alex my church (baptist / evangelical) didn't straight up say you couldn't be a Christian, but did say you were a bad one if you didn't read your Bible regularly..

apaul

@ElizB The education of clergy brats is somewhat similar.

El'endia Starman

01:16

@apaul Mind elaborating on that?

apaul

Just saying... don't underestimate the number of people who went to religious private schools at some point. In some denominations it's pretty standard.

ElizB

actually, our church is closer to a protestant-ish thing

El'endia Starman

@apaul I grew up in the South. Everyone got a religious education. :P (That's... somewhat tongue-in-cheek...)

Jesse

personally ive found in more rural Australian towns you can get some schools basically conjoined with the church. and no other option

if you are in a city area then its more diverse

El'endia Starman

Yeah, I'd imagine that's generally the case in more rural areas.

ElizB

01:19

my siblings went from preschool through 8th grade to a private catholic school that I actually think is one of the better ones in the area, they're not pushy and my mom really appreciates their structure and environment. i've seen other private schools and didn't like what I saw

apaul

@El'endiaStarman I grew up catholic-light, but am also a clergy brat. I know my scripture better than most practicing Christians even though I left the church a long long time ago.

Jesse

one main road you have the only school surrounded by 3 massive churches (this is Cairns) where my mum grew up.. i was absolutely shocked

El'endia Starman

@apaul I've got a few friends with similar history as well. Gaining a deep knowledge/understanding of Scripture generally means having to answer some big questions. Some people reject it entirely, some people go the complete opposite way.

I myself try to see the heart behind the words. I Took the Third Option, that is. :P

apaul

@El'endiaStarman May seem odd coming from me... but I thought I was called to the priesthood at one point. But.

That didn't work out for obvious reasons...

El'endia Starman

tries to imagine apaul as a priest ... fails

apaul

01:24

It was a long time ago.

Uncompromising, stubborn, ideologue... the base elements are still in there, lol

Jesse

04:52

I did not realise but placing a bounty on a question makes it unable to be closed

pretty sneaky, might keep it in mind for other close/re-open war posts

dhein

05:30

😪

dhein

06:46

Morning :)

Noon

07:41

@Jesse I suppose a mod could still close it, though

Mithrandir

After refunding the bounty, yes

Journeyman Geek

@Jesse we tend hate 'tactical' bounties :p

If there's a close/ open war talk to a mod.

avazula

08:01

Good morning everyone

Cashbee

heyoo

Mithrandir

sleepy wave

Cashbee

@Jesse that is pretty sneaky, but IIRC you can't put bounty on a new question, which is usually when a question gets closed.

dhein

@Cashbee yep there is a 2 day delay for this exact reason, but that wouldn't matter for the VTCraid on old no more ontopic posts thats going on (as I was recently told) and in that context it would be an quite abusing thing if you asked me ^^

Jesse

I don't think its so bad, really more of a slight delay since bounties run out and it would receive more attention naturally by being featured

which means its easier for mods to pick up on it

if there IS some issue

Journeyman Geek

08:13

@Jesse mods can reopen or undelete

dhein

09:09

Was that one self deleted or was it force deleted? In the latter case, may I ask for the reason ? Can't check it anymore obviously and didn't came to it yesterday. So from all what I can see now, it seems like a bad question and by guessing probably the rest of the for me hidden body was very likely gonna be Off-Topic.
But dependend on the goal that OP tried to achieve, I would assume, it might even have been recycable into an On-Topic post so I am wondering, how the following part of that question had become so horrible that closing it wasn't enough but rather it was being deleted (as said…

Tinkeringbell

@dhein What message do you get when you click it?

A 404, and there should be some text. What does it say?

Usually, when a mod deletes something, it says it was deleted for reasons of moderation.

The text you see should say something different, but I'm not sure what it was ;)

dhein

Oh. :D

I bet you did know it xP

Tinkeringbell

Nah, I forgot what it should say, only remember it should say something different ;) As a mod, I can't look it up though :P

dhein

Ah, cause you still would see the deleted post? :D

Tinkeringbell

(Actually I can but I find using incognito mode a bit too much trouble ;) )

dhein

09:14

"This question was voluntarily removed by its author."

quite clear >.<

Tinkeringbell

@dhein Yeah, we always see deleted posts, much like someone that has the privileges. For moderators, even the r/a deleted stuff isn't hidden like it does for regular users (They can expand, we always see the original post).

@dhein Ah, yeah, that was it :)

dhein

Never noticed that one. Had just noticed the moderation one before. So I didn't really expect there to be ever any other information.

Tinkeringbell

Well, now you know. Now you never have to be curious about that again :P

dhein

Is that a hidden complaint? '^.^

I take that one. :P

Tinkeringbell

@dhein No. More of a 'I'm happy I could help' :)

dhein

09:19

Ok, that even better. I also take that one :)

Tinkeringbell

:)

avazula

11:17

wow, that's really quiet in here when Noon and I aren't around ...

→ 8 messages moved to Trash

dhein

And me trying to be less spamming and more focused an work, if I may insist! :P

avazula

@dhein hahaha. How was your trip to your mother's?

dhein

11:33

huff... It was... lets say.... fiery. Had an car accident on my forward run. And at the party itself.... I realized my moms social circle increased drastically over the last years we had just little contact.

No one told me about that, as no one was aware such info is important for me. So I headed to a gathering, expecting 10 guests at most, as it usually had been. But it were like 30+ guests of which not even 20% were familiar faces. I felt quite uncomfortable. But except for that, it was nice :)

IPS Comment Bot

@user2617804 : what about a simple check-list/tasks/list? have you ever tried that? I mean, if no, it's worth trying, and we can help you with something roughly similar to: "how do I tell my family that I need them to tell me if they've checked all the points listed on the travel plan". Well, you get the point I believe, and can maybe edit accordingly :) — OldPadawan 52 secs ago

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

avazula

@dhein Oh jeesh. Are you okay? It's terrible that you had a car accident. And yeah, I get the uncomfort vis a vis your mom's acquaintances ... People seem to have problems understanding how hard it is for people on the spectrum to feel comfortable in presence of total strangers

dhein

11:48

@avazula yeh yeh I am fine. despite someone just drove into me at 100Km/H on the highway, not even my car got any real damage from it. And yeah. I mean I understand that one has generally problems understanding things he can't relate to. But it makes a difference if one at least trys to, or not.

avazula

@dhein I'm glad you're okay. And I understand.

dhein

The cake is a lie, tho? :o

but... but...

avazula

:p

The cake is always a lie

The cake will make you believe you won't get fat by eating it

The cake is a freaking lie

Cashbee

12:05

starts humming this is a triumph 🎵

harp starts playing

I need to play portal again

avazula

:D

IPS Comment Bot

So it's girlfriend. — Hans1984 1 min ago

Matched regex(es) ["short-comment"]

avazula

Good Cash what is this? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/20028/4550

Cashbee

@avazula let me read the Q first, havent seen it yet

Mithrandir

12:21

the heck

dhein

@avazula Noooooooooooooooo :(

Cashbee

@avazula it's not addressing the question. There are many ways how to let her know that you're married, but that is not what was asked. the question is how to make it so they will hopefully remain friends. That answer loses no word about that.

so i disagree with your comment

ah, well no I read wrong. that is only part of the question. the main question I would say is what's the least painful way of doing it

avazula

@Cashbee Mmh. the question in title and in body may be different then, for I relied on the title question

ah okay

I was scared to have misunderstand ^^

Cashbee

in the answer, the sentence

You can call your wife during one of your lessons; this will automatically confirm you're already married in front of your teacher.

does kind of address the question

dhein

Ok apparently you are talking about a diferent post than the one I just read.

Cashbee

12:28

but it doesnt say why it the least painful way

dhein

Anyways. I am curious about the one I just read:

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/20027/32 From what OP describes, that would raise almost all red flags I have for "She has no interest in me". SHould I reevaluate my red flags? Or should someone tell that OP? '^.^

Cashbee

I don't think it deserves close/delete votes. I think it's a valid answer, just not perfect. I wouldn't +1 it. edit: I mean the answer that ava mentioned

avazula

@Cashbee "switching teachers" is not telling her that he's married. And to me, calling your wife isn't "telling" either, even if I agree that it makes her understand that he's not single

I can edit that comment but I still believe that answer doesn't belong here. Advising changing wives isn't an answer to me, neither is to change teachers

Cashbee

@avazula I wasnt talking about the switching teachers part, yes that's not answering the question.

I can comment if you want

your comenmt is too old to edit

avazula

@Cashbee I'll retract. I may be a bit litteral here but it feels that they're not answering the question which is "how to tell the teacher". Calling the wife isn't telling. It's a passive and cowardly way to deal with the situation, although this is not the problem with that answer.

Cashbee

12:37

okay I'm leaving a comment

avazula

Could you include the tour if you comment plz?

Cashbee

pinging you when im done so you can supervise me :D

avazula

I withdrawed mine.

@Cashbee I have no regard towards your opinions :p

Cashbee

@avazula But I do towards yours ;)

muahaha

avazula

dhein

12:44

Well, the frame of OP says, how to do so without doing any negative to her feelings. Thats technically not possible. So I think challanging the frame is okay here. And if you do it in direction of "well you have somewhat to hurt her" respecting the "How to tell her?" aspect. Or challenging the "How to tell?" aspect and advising to cowardly act to not hurt her, is both in the same way valid. Everything else about it is more about moral. But that shouldn't make the difference.

Cashbee

@avazula the tour had no space in my comment.. interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/19932/…

avazula

@Cashbee Seems pretty good anyway. Thanks pal.

dhein

The only thing I see there making it a bad answer, is that it ignores the culture tag. And advises the 2nd wife things, what isn't a thing in western culture. But everything else I think is just being upset about the 2nd wife thing as it is for most of us unethical here. Isn't it that about the answer if you are honest? :P

Cashbee

@avazula whoa I just realized

avazula

@Cashbee ?

Cashbee

12:46

the question is "What is the least painful way to deal with it?" - his suggestion of switching teachers actually is an answer

avazula

@Cashbee Good Cash, how many questions are in that freaking post?

Cashbee

argh, but the title..

nah I'll leave it that

dhein

@Cashbee That was my point

avazula

Now I wanna close the question until it's narrowed down to one

Cashbee

@dhein but in the title op asks how to tell her he's married

would you agree if I edited the question body from "What is the least painful way to deal with it?" to ""What is the least painful way to tell her that I'm married?""

dhein

12:48

Me? If so, agreeing with what?

Cashbee

all of you

if you agree with the change I just proposed

avazula

@Cashbee idk... this would solve the problem. I'd have liked that OP would handle that edit, but they seem not to have addressed any of the questions in comments so it seems unlikely that they'd do that edit.

Cashbee

@avazula reading the title again, OP must have meant this

dhein

@Cashbee agree with the change to achieve what specifically?

avazula

@Cashbee I agree on the change.

Cashbee

12:50

@dhein to achieve that the question is not being misunderstood

Noon

@Cashbee I agree too (hello people!)

Cashbee

heyo @Noon

avazula

Bleh. OP asked the question at 1:13, last appearance on IPS was at 1:34... They didn't even have time to read the firstly posted answer

IPS Comment Bot

Thank you very much, I think this is a very nice way to deal with the situation. Why didn't I came up with this. Guess thats why I love this stack so much. I'll definitly try to deal with this type situations like this in the future. — Suimon 5 secs ago

Cashbee

@avazula they'll probably turn up again this or next week to see if there are any answers.

IPS Comment Bot

12:52

#20044 Suimon (501 rep) | A: How to deal with seemingly non-disabled people parking on handicap spots? (score: 15) | posted 27 hours ago by tim (1180 rep) | Toxicity 0.05530959 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

Noon

@avazula They might have read it when not registered, but yeah :/

avazula

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

avazula

good bot

<3

This is a sad day

I ran out of coffee money

dhein

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be nitpicky here. But can we actually know which of the 2 OP meant? I mean for OP apparently it doesn't matter, but... Aren't we just somewhat overmoderating? Changing OP's so they fit what we want to read for conformance with policys, achieving answer we don't like being out of scope.... That feels not right to me.

I totally am inline with your objections, but dunno....

literally dunno

Noon

12:55

@avazula Oh no :( I always feel sad when people tell me that coffe isn't free in their company

Cashbee

@dhein I am 100% confident that OP meant what he wrote in the title. What happened in te body was just a miswording

dhein

@Noon: Btw how's ur new job goin? Free coffe? :P

Noon

@dhein OP want to remain friend with the teacher so, I don't think we are over stepping here

Cashbee

@avazula you ran out of coffee on mondey and you still havent refilled it yet? /s

Noon

@dhein Yeah, free coffe :P (but I don't drink coffe, so...). Also, I have a very hard time adjusting to this new keyboard. I'm writting sooooo slowly!

avazula

12:58

@Cashbee you're a mean person. No drawing for you on Christmas.

dhein

@Noon Oh, I somehow skipped that freindship... probably stoped reading after the first "?" >.< Yeh that changes things.

@Noon Do you have to type much? :D Or just if u are in TAS?:P

avazula

@dhein yeah, plus trust me, I wouldn't want to overmoderate but in this case, OP hasn't been active since more than a week, so ... there's not really another way to deal with upcoming, not-off-topic-but-addressing-one-over-three-questions answers.

Cashbee

@avazula :''''''''((

Noon

@dhein It's mostly for TAS. But I have to long on things a lot and I always struggle to do the "@" (always doing "<à" instead. Plus, sometimes I don't know where so symbole are!!! Very frustrating! (yeah, just find the ">" and "<", know I can do my smiley "><") :P

dhein

@avazula yeh yeh, my bad >.< Still I think that answer of Ahmad Raza shouldn't be deleted. as it addresses aspects of the OP. It got the downvotes it deserves. But its a bad valid answe FMPOV

Noon

13:03

@dhein Well, there isn't much backup IMO so...

avazula

@dhein it's not deleted yet. I'm the only one who VTDed it, and deletion isn't a permanent thing, although I understand it may sound scary.

dhein

@Noon Is it a diferent keyboard layout? :O Then maybe ask for another one? :x

Cashbee

@dhein Actually now I think that it is too incomplete to be a valid answer. the approach can be made valid by providing more explanation/back up

avazula

This answer has many other problems than the one related to that question, and this is not an issue of "I don't agree with suggesting to re-marry / to change tearchers" or whatever, this is a content issue. I'm not even sure that's what the answerer meant, as it was very poorly written and I had to guess what was meant to fix the spelling

@Noon are you on a Mac girl?

dhein

Lets just lay that down for now. I will make a meta post about it in near future, asking for clarification, what I don't like about that concept. :)

Noon

13:06

@avazula No, it's an msi but I have a dell at my home and some symbol just aren't "where they are suppose to be"

Alright, break over, see you later :)

avazula

@dhein Do you think we're overmoderating?

@Noon have a nice day :)

dhein

@Noon huh? is that normal in france?

Cashbee

I left another comment

I understand how the 'deal with it' part of the first question can come across as though any answer will do. But I am 100% sure that OP wants to tell her that he is married. I edited the Question accordingly (because OP has not been online since they posted it) and I'm sorry you got caught up in the middle of it. — Cashbee 1 min ago

avazula

@Cashbee tp

:p

Cashbee

:D

dhein

13:10

@avazula That depends on, what the consensus is about it. Wasn't here for a full year so things apparently changed. For me it feels like over moderation. But that might just be, cause I as the aspie I am not really like changes. So lets just see, agree? :)

Cashbee

Hello @pipe! Feel free to join conversation or start a new one, or just keep lurking 😀 you are welcome here

avazula

@dhein ok.

dhein

Hope I wasn't offending :x

Cashbee

not at all

avazula

Nope :)

dhein

14:28

chat.stackexchange.com/transcript/message/47781430#47781430 push :P

scohe001

pull?

Cashbee

stash

dhein

....drop

yeh yeh, got it xD

Cashbee

pull my ~~finger~~ branch

dhein

Dude!!!! that wasn't safe for work xD

I literally lol'ed making my coworkers look on me >.<

Cashbee

14:37

hahaha

sry I try to not be funny anymore ;)

avazula

@Cashbee Have you ever been funny? o_o

(jk)

Mithrandir

burn

avazula

@Mithrandir qui bene amat ...

Mithrandir

....I have no idea what that means

avazula

@Mithrandir "qui bene amat, bene castigat". It means "spare the rod and spoil the child"

Mithrandir

14:45

Spoiled children don't taste very good...

avazula

^_^

scohe001

@avazula that translates surprisingly well

avazula

I guess "He who loves well reprimands well" makes more sense

what's a rod BTW?

dhein

@avazula /s you meant :P

Cashbee

@Mithrandir steam them, dont ~~boil~~ spoil them

avazula

14:49

@dhein of course. I prefer the joke label but hey, pick your fav :p

Mithrandir

or just barbecue

a rod is a stick, like to hit people with

Cashbee

c'est un bâton

dhein

@avazula I was just passively attacking cashe on that ^^

IPS Comment Bot

Since Anne is concerned by the ecological impact of letting the monitor on, an economical rebutal is unlikely to have any positive effect on her. What's more, her point of view (but not her reaction) is technically right : however little more power a stand-by monitor uses compared to an off one, it's still more. — breversa 1 min ago

dhein

But could please someone answer my question? :x

Cashbee

14:51

what question?

dhein

@Cashbee that one

avazula

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

scohe001

@avazula a thin straight bar. Used to be used alongside a belt for punishing out of line children. "spare the rod and spoil the child" is saying if you don't punish properly, your kid will end up pampered and spoiled

avazula

@scohe001 o_o

scohe001

14:57

Haha you're the one using this saying at Mith! :p

Cashbee

@dhein Well... what you are asking is highly opinion based, so I shall give you my opinion. I myself would not continue to try. A relationship has two sides and both have to put effort in it. I know it's not a relationship yet but it would not be worth it to even try with someone like that who shows so little interest. I would say to myself that I can do better and stop trying so hard.

If she will tehn continue to chat with me on her own initiative then the game is on again. If not, yea.

apaul

@Jesse Sneaky? Hmm... Just got tired of the hassling on a question I'd left in the sandbox for a week before posting, and it was quickly being buried.

dhein

15:21

@Cashbee Ok so your opinion makes up the same redflags than mine? Thanks. BTW actually I asked if thats generaizable. So it can't be opinion based. As it ob would result into a clear no.

But knowing to be not alone with my opinion feels even better :)

Cashbee

@dhein why can't it be opinion based?

everybody has different red flags they watch out for

Jesse

15:41

@apaul I'm fine with adding the bounty, wasn't trying to make a point there. But since you bring it up, you know only a few users regularly help out with sandbox. Just because it seemed okay there does not mean you should ignore any other suggestions for improvement

including extra details like what site/s you are referring to really would assist answers in responding to a very difficult question

I didn't mean to hassle either.. saw those horrid earlier answers and the last thing I intended was to pile on. I am just very aware of how difficult the question was to answer and that more details will at least give us some chance to come up with an answer

scohe001

Speaking of your question @apaul, I don't feel like I have the resources to answer well, but what you talk about makes me think of:

Racial fetishism

Racial fetishism involves fetishizing a person or culture belonging to a race or ethnic group. This can include having strong racial preferences in dating. For example, an Asian fetish focusing on East Asian, Southeast Asian and to some extent South Asian women is quite prevalent in Australasia, North America and Scandinavia. There is also a subsection of BDSM, which involves fetishizing race called "raceplay". == Theories == Homi K. Bhabha explains racial fetishism as a version of racist stereotyping, which is woven into colonial discourse and based on multiple/contradictory and splitting beliefs...

Jesse

16:01

I think fetishes like this are publicly seen as far less serious violations of racism because it conflicts with "You like what you like". And because well, fetishes are normally private

apauls question has the derogatory term attached which makes it a little easier to point to something thats not okay.. but even that is still super difficult because its not a widely accepted derogatory term and it is being posted under the veil of humour and satire which is very easy to hide behind as an excuse

scohe001

@Jesse I was looking specifically at this line from apaul's question: "The way a trans or crossdressing person is talked to, or about, in a sexual fantasy piece written by a cisgender person often isn't how they'd like to be talked to, or about in reality." I know that I've seen whole races depicted as submissive or other traits that clearly don't apply to everyone. That's a result of racial fetishism that feels similar.

Cashbee

@scohe001 the major difference in this comparison is that racial fetishists don't (I assume?) use derogatory terms in a positive or sexy way.

which is exactly the issue apaul has, at least that is what I understood.

Jesse

I thought that was only part of the issue

scohe001

@Cashbee that may be something that happens with racial fetishism too, I'm not so sure, but that seems like half the problem in the question. "How does one explain that the depictions of trans and/or crossdressing folks, and the language used..."

I'm speaking to the first half ;)

Cashbee

oki

dhein

16:31

@Cashbee yeah and I asked if that isnt generalizable. So if the answer is my red flags are opinionbased that means the answer is "no it isnt generalizable". Thats what i meant. Anyways, if that wasnt clear doesnt matter, as I liked your response more then a simple no ;)

Cashbee

@dhein aah, okay :D

apaul

Honestly the particular site doesn't make much difference to the question, it's a behavior that pops up in a lot of different places. Hell, I've heard people do it in person, they're just less inclined to argue the point face to face.

Jesse

it matters with how you go about responding to the behaviour

apaul

Racial fetishization is somewhat similar. The depictions in porn are often enough way removed from reality, and are well... gross. There is the difference in how people talk, there's objectification, but it's often not as extreme and openly derogatory.

apaul

17:18

Have we gotten to the point of being a little too close happy? Just scanning the front page, it seems like we're closing roughly 2/3?

sphennings

17:33

@apaul Are there false positives where questions that shouldn't be closed are being closed?

apaul

@sphennings Not exactly? Just seems like the scope is getting increasingly narrow and more narrowly interpreted.

dhein

18:10

@apaul I have the same impression. I plan to make a meta post about that tomorrow or on thursday. But I feel like I might lack the language skill to bring it on point so I plan to take enough time for phrasing it out.

@Noon: Btw I am still curious, about the keyboard layouts. I never found here in germany a keyboard with a diferent layout. I know they exist but for us its very unified. Is that diferent in france? Or how your keyboard struggle arose? That was really wondering me the whole day, as if I was in that situation I would be horribly annoyed by that 🙈

scohe001

18:35

Looks like 2/3 is actually lower than what we have (in the last 30 days)

Worth writing a meta question?

apaul

Probably.

Dunno, it's important to have standards, but our bars to entry keep getting higher without meaningfully improving question quality.

scohe001

Are our bars getting higher? Or is general quality getting lower? (or a bit of both??)

apaul

18:49

Quality seems about the same, we're just closing it all?

Also seems like potentially better questions/answers aren't being posted because we're so flag and close happy. Remember the Tim Post experience?

Seems like we've become so narrow that it's harder to participate, but I'm not sure that it's been an improvement. The questions left open have to be worded very carefully, so carefully that a lot of questions don't get asked, and that seems to leave a lot of things with depth or weight off the table.

Noon

@dhein The keyboards are almost always the same but, for laptop, depending of the width of the laptop, some "keys" are missing and others are just in a different place that depending of the circumstances (for example, the "> <" touch, the "Suppr" ("delete" in English?), etc...)

@apaul The Tim Post experience was a one-time thing (because he was Tim Post) and it leads us to not using the canned comment anymore

apaul

@Noon Was it a one time thing, or a symptom of a larger problem?

Was it just the canned comments, or are the canned comments a part of a larger problem?

Noon

@apaul Hum, yeah, probably an extreme symptom of a larger problem (the canned comment) and, honestly, I do believe that the only problems was the canned comment

apaul

19:04

@Noon what percentage of questions are closed again? What's our new user retention look like?Is the site still a helpful resource? Or have we narrowed it down so far that very few people can manage to ask about anything that's actually meaningful for them?

This was something I worried about as we became increasingly pedantic... We seem to be reaching a tipping point.

2

dhein

19:23

Can I have some refference what the tim post thing is about?

@Noon Ah, I got it. We have the option at work to simply plug anextern keyboard for that x) Isnt that an option for you too? We have a thinkpad docking station. Thats really habdy :)

Noon

19:38

@dhein That could be an option but I don't care that much about it, so... Plus, I know I will get us to it at some point

Tinkeringbell

19:58

I've looked through the recently closed questions. There doesn't seem to be anything in there that can be reopened as is. I also see comments on every post, so that's good. It's really up to the people that posted to improve their posts.

As long as we're not using canned comments and are actually helpful, there's not much more we can do here. Accepting 'what should I do' or intrapersonal questions just for the sake of having questions isn't going to save this site.

Noon

@apaul As long as every closed question have comment explaining why it was closed and, if douable, what OP can do that have it re-open, I don't think we are doing anything wrong (but this shouldn't stop you to ask on meta)

dhein

20:31

@Noon That makes sense :D

scohe001

@Noon I have no idea about tags. I just saw that pending a while back when I was going to make a meta post about it so I held off. That's probably a question for the mods (or someone who knows better than I do)

I'm a little late, but more SE swag is on the line!!

33

Q: Time for some more swag!

On occasion of our anniversary celebrations, we offered some cheese boards a while back. If you were late for that, though, no sweat! You’re just in time for another limited edition super special swag contest! This is the bit where you go “It’s about time, isn’t it?” To which I’ll reply with “we...

discussion featured fun time 10th-anniversary

Tinkeringbell

@scohe001 Make sure to take the tour! :P

Are you going to do more Ascii art this time?

scohe001

The tour?

Haha it looks like I was beaten to it already!! I'll probably stick to puns

Are you going to do more needle work?

Tinkeringbell

@scohe001 Look carefully ;)

Oh, and scroll down, I guess :P

scohe001

OHHHHH

Hahaha I love it!!!!

Tinkeringbell

20:42

Yay! :D

Em C

@scohe001 already 25 entries?!

seems like I am... behind the times :P

Tinkeringbell

29, IIRC :P

Hurry!

Em C

I still have 3 hrs until I'm home tonight :'(

scohe001

Guhh I can't believe I didn't see it till now!

Tinkeringbell

@EmC :( But I agree. They always post this stuff when I'm on a train. Otherwise I could just have done the ASCII art :P

@scohe001 Sorry! You would of course have expected more of a MSE mod.

scohe001

20:46

Ha probably my own fault for not lurking in the tavern today

Bleh there we go, I threw something up for now. Maybe I'll come up with something better in the next few days.

I'm surprised at the crazy number of early submissions and downvotes though!!

Em C

ooh, I just thought of a great idea... nobody better steal it until I can make and post it though lol

Tinkeringbell

@scohe001 Yeah, the downvotes are surprising me too. I think there's a few people feeling a bit sour today :(

Em C

@scohe001 so many puns!

Tinkeringbell

Luckily downvotes don't count for totals ;)

scohe001

@Tinkeringbell huh anything in particular to be sour about? Or is it just too early in the week? :p

@EmC haha thank you thank you

Tinkeringbell

20:54

@scohe001 No idea. I was just thinking unexplained sour moods ;)

Mithrandir

Too many lemons.

Introverted Meta Man.

21:05

0

Q: What's the different between the "friend" and "friendship" tag?

Are there any differences between those two tags? Why do we have both? The friend tag have a description; For questions about interactions with friends, people with whom you share personal details of your lives and enjoy shared activities. But, the friendship one doesn't. So, should the...

discussion specific-tag

scohe001

21:39

Anyone know what the character is called that's used to depict a space? Looks like an underscore but with two little arms sticking up...

Em C

22:23

@scohe001 you mean the "open box" like shown here?

scohe001

@EmC Exactly!!

Em C

oh wait, this uses "blank character" and "underbracket"

scohe001

I ended up just using a sideways bracket though and it worked...

Ooh that's exactly what I was looking for!!

Em C

@scohe001 heh, snazzy :)

Mithrandir

You're not a real SE addict until you're sitting up frantically trying to figure out video editing software, with paint all over your face, at 12:30AM, all to enter a swag contest...

;)

apaul

23:06

That's... a choice.

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