The Awkward Silence

sphennings

00:21

@AbhigyanC That sounds rough are you trying to help your friend or not get brought down yourself?

apaul

00:31

Anyone know why the teacher question got closed?

sphennings

It's very broad. Or it was when I last read it.

apaul

@sphennings It looks like it may have been edited. "How do I make this teacher stop bullying me, given that my school environment cannot provide any support to me?"

Just wanted to double check my thinking before I cast a deciding reopen vote.

sphennings

00:56

That's pretty broad to me. Bullying is a complex problem.

Given that there is a strong cultural bias in play I'm concerned about giving the OP bad advice.

apaul

@sphennings That was a concern for me as well, part of why I asked about the specific country.

AbhigyanC

01:22

@sphennings I guess a little of both... :)

sphennings

01:35

You're not going to be able to get your friend to not be a negative Nelly in a day. Be clear that you don't want their negativity bringing you down when you have an important interview today.

apaul

03:36

Ughhh... interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/10821/59

apaul

04:28

@Ash are you around?

user15026

Sure am

apaul

Had questions about this: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/…

user15026

Such as?

apaul

I was wondering if you knew if it might help with this: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/10807/…

Are you aware of any rescue NGOs in Canada?

user15026

I know nothing about this

user15026

04:32

Like other than it is a thing that people can do

apaul

Ok. Just figured I'd ask. Canada seems to have a better track record than the US with this sort of thing, saw news of a program to get Chechens out. I'll have to keep digging.

user15026

There is probably stuff that is helpful, I just unfortunately don't know anything about it

apaul

@Ash Canada is pretty awesome apparently: reachingoutwinnipeg.com/…

Sorry to bug you, I searched for US organizations first and the first things to come up were news reports about LGBT people left in limbo by Trump's Muslim ban...

user15026

04:48

No worries, this just isn't on my radar

Tinkeringbell

06:46

Morning

A J

afternoon!

JAD

07:25

morning

@Tinkeringbell at utrecht I heard an announcement about maintenance for an entire week between zwolle and amersfoort

this is such a facepalm: math.stackexchange.com/questions/2659982/…

Tinkeringbell

@JAD I know. I got a letter and a coupon for 1 cup of coffee/tea as compensation XD

JAD

oh, that's more than we got when there were no trains at some point

Tinkeringbell

@JAD I could have done that :/

@JAD yeah, it's a first for me too. There'll be busses, I'm not too worried

JAD

heh, at some point last summer there was mainenance between Utrecht and Hilversum

and no buses or anything

so I just ended up taking the week off as holidays

Tinkeringbell

@JAD that's... Not good

JAD

07:38

eh, it was middle of the summer, I still needed to take some time off, so I figured why not then?

Tinkeringbell

I'll try Monday and if it's really bad I can work from home

JAD

ugh, why is Nyancat on the radio?

>:|

Mithrandir

08:03

meh

Bhargav Rao

Hiya \o

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: I like this girl but she dont want relationship

I am hanging out with this girl for a month and we talk alot everyday. She is in my office. But there is another guy who was with her in previous office and he talk to her too and they are hanging out sometimes. I have said her that i like her too and the previous office guy propose her on valen...

Mithrandir

@BhargavRao ohai

How's Boson coming along?

Tinkeringbell

Yay, ICT women at it again: somehow they managed to send a 'I'd like to participate' to the entire mailing list...

Bhargav Rao

@apaul Hi, @mith poked me about this. The bot focuses more on the new answers rather than old answers, because of the heuristics which it was trained on. At the moment I'm doing a complete refactor of the project to help expand onto other sites. I've added a small enhancement, where I can have site specific filters, thus the "code required" would not be needed here ;)

The bot should be very easily adaptable to Interpersonal (it is now live for all answers on AU), but there must be someone who knows the NAAs here very well. (It is not a ML bot). On SO, I had 14k NAA flag exp and another creator had 30k, so we knew which type of answers would be NAA very well. With some small help, I can certainly set it up for the site. All that said, I've become quite held up IRL, so I will not be able to pick this up soon. I'll try to get some stuff on the board.

Tinkeringbell

08:14

@BhargavRao If you need help on the NAA's, I think Mith is the expert on those :P

Bhargav Rao

@Mithrandir That's going to take quite a long time. I needed an empty repo to start, so I created one github.com/SOBotics/Boson. (Higgs, is under active development though github.com/SOBotics/Higgs)

@Tinkeringbell Yup, mith's been a helping hand in many of Sobotics' projects.

Mithrandir

^.^

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir I seriously don't know where you get the time to go outside and ride your bike. Seems like you're everywhere here :P

A J

@Mithrandir I didn't know you're studying programming. :P

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell I... don't sleep much :P

Tinkeringbell

08:18

@Mithrandir OOooohh BAD! :P

But if you want help on an NAA bot, if I can do anything to help, just ping me ;)

Mithrandir

@AJ Well, I'm trying to learn some - it's certainly helpful to understand some code when you're involved in bots ;)

Tinkeringbell

What language are the bots coded in anyway?

Mithrandir

That reminds me, I was going to talk to Petter about NLP

@Tinkeringbell Depends on the bot. Smokey is python, Natty is Java (I think), IPS Comment Bot is Ruby

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Wait, you're already doing NLP? that's like pretty advanced stuff...

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell no, I'm not, but Petter is

JAD

08:21

@Mithrandir smokey is part RoR as well right?

Mithrandir

@JAD metasmoke is

Tinkeringbell

I can do Java, and that's it :P

Bhargav Rao

@Mith My idea for Boson is to make it as non-developer friendly as possible. So, lots would go into the specs of it. After the GetAllTehCommentz experience, I kinda understood that it'd be quite helpful to have such a thing. We actually disappointed Cati by not working on ArgBot (Ashish became busy IRL). If something like that was there, then we could have just spawned a new instance of the bot and helped her immediately.

JAD

@Tinkeringbell learn something else :) it's fun

A J

@Tinkeringbell @Mithrandir got more rep than you on SO even when he is learning and you're proficient. :P

Bhargav Rao

08:23

@Tinkeringbell Wanna have some fun coding? github.com/SOBotics?language=java

Mithrandir

@BhargavRao Lots of non-devs are interesting in bots, yeah. Making it as friendly as possible to everyone would be awesome.

Tinkeringbell

@BhargavRao Hahaha ;) I'll take a look when there's spare time (which means 'as soon as I finished crocheting my blanket' which may take a few months/weekends) :P

Mithrandir

Making GetAllTehCommentz was fun though :D

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir That's the comment bot right?

Mithrandir

That's my very simple comment bot, yes

github.com/superplane39/GetAllTehCommentz

Tinkeringbell

08:25

@Mithrandir It's a different on than the IPS comment bot?

Mithrandir

Correct

Bhargav Rao

The first issue in hosting such a bot would be the API Quota. But that can be solved easily, by making the requester create a new account on StackApps and ask a [placeholder]. The other bots at Sobotics are incapable of spawning numerous instances and still running on the same server.

Tinkeringbell

First time I see this... why are there 6 of us?

JAD

uh

I didn't delete nuffin

Bhargav Rao

6 of you voted "Recommend Delete" in the LQPQ.

JAD

08:28

ah

linky?

Tinkeringbell

@BhargavRao Nah, I voted delete...

JAD

I wonder which post it is

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Check LQP history :P

Should be the last one I voted on :P

Bhargav Rao

Uh, beta sites. They confuse the hell outta me :-(

4k is to delete answers

Tinkeringbell

But yeah, maybe it does it too if it gets a combination of 2 deletes and 4 recommended deletions?

JAD

08:32

@Tinkeringbell let's test!

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Hahaha where? :P

JAD

idk, pick a post?

Tinkeringbell

Mith, is there stuff in that query of yours we can use? :P

JAD

(i'm kidding btw)

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell yup

Bhargav Rao

08:37

The sad stuff now is, the OP can unilaterally undelete their post.

Mithrandir

....but that will raise an automatic mod flag, so that it can be reviewed.

JAD

@BhargavRao eh, let's worry about that when it happens

Bhargav Rao

@Mithrandir Ah yes. There's 100s of them on SO.

@JAD I always worry beforehand. :-(

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell sure:

flag-pls, del-pls | VLQ | How do I indicate interest in going somewhere without inviting myself along?

Anyway, I forsee at least one shortcoming of using a bot to monitor NaAs on IPS.

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Too little space in the LQP queue? :P

Mithrandir

08:47

What constitutes "not an answer" here can be very hard to pin down; the best the bot could do would be to spot blatant NaAs (the "I'm in the same situation", "thanks for the answer" ones). It would't spot the vast majority of the NaAs we see, because they don't have like keywords for spotting the same way as on other sites.

It would be almost as ineffective as the current regex setup on the comment bot :P

JAD

@Mithrandir I wonder if we really need a bot for that. Those should be spotted and removed quite easily

Tinkeringbell

Any thoughts on this one? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/6107/1599

(Am going through my disputed posts flags, still don't know what's so good about that one)

Mithrandir

Non-IPS answer/"try this" at the same time

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Hey, I wanted to try posting an autocomment :P

You beat me to it :(

Mithrandir

I customized it :P

Tinkeringbell

08:50

Btw, why is your autocomment longer than mine?

Ahhh.. okay :)

Mithrandir

> We also require that answers provide an interpersonal solution; this doesn't seem like it fits that.

Tinkeringbell

(there's a bit of IPS there though 'Tell him he is being too forward and his advances are unwanted'

Not really IPS because it isn't explained how to do it (which would be the IPS)

I can't flag it again :(

Mithrandir

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/10768/31; interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/10752/31; interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/4393/31; interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/4410/31; interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/4354/31

Tinkeringbell

09:05

@Mithrandir I think all the answers on the feminist one are mainly because the question is primarily opinion based... they are answers to 'can I/is it appropriate/would it be appreciated'

vtc primarily-opinion-based Can I give flowers to a feminist as a present for hosting a party?

Bhargav Rao

Interesting. IPS is at 5.6 QPD area51.stackexchange.com/proposals/92736/interpersonal-skills. I remember seeing it at 10+, a few months ago.

Tinkeringbell

@BhargavRao Yep, it was at 10+ around the time I joined... which made me think it would graduate right after 90 days passed :P

Bhargav Rao

Bah, nope. They see for a couple of months together.

Tinkeringbell

I know (now :P)

JAD

@BhargavRao well, question scope has been narrowed down slightly, which might have had an impact on that stat

Bhargav Rao

09:15

It's actually good to have narrow scope. But then graduation would get harder.

I think Ethereum was one site which was constant 10+ from start.

They graduated in less than 1.5 years

A J

@BhargavRao Are you active here on this site or you don't get time from SO moderation? ;)

It seems you don't have an account here.

Bhargav Rao

Yeah, I'm not active here. I concentrate mainly on 2~3 of my top sites.

I'm a bit free today, because I just submitted a project report. I've kinda become busy IRL, and have been staying away from active moderation. Hope to become a bit more free soon and handle flags in en masse. ;)

A J

Great

Tinkeringbell

09:34

How long does it take for my flags to show up in a queue? :P

Bhargav Rao

Which queue?

Mithrandir

The LQP queue? Pretty much immediately. The mod queue? Usually after a couple hours, to give the community a chance to handle it.

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir So, that probably means no-one is reviewing right now then :P

JAD

VLQ queue looks empty to me

Tinkeringbell

I put 6 things in there, over 15 minutes ago :/

JAD

09:40

it's kinda weird, sometimes there is a bunch of red indicators, but the queue appears empty after one review

Bhargav Rao

You can't see your own flags in the LQPQ, so it'll always be empty, if you're populating it.

If you wanna see a full queue, check our site out stackoverflow.com/review

JAD

they're not my flags though

Tinkeringbell

@BhargavRao I can see the history though, to track how my flags are doing ;)

And no status on the flags is popping up, although I can see people reviewing other stuff..

@BhargavRao Only 9,5k closevotes? :P

How many questions a day does SO get?

Bhargav Rao

Hmm, yeah. I can see just one item in the LQPQ. interpersonal.stackexchange.com/review.

Tinkeringbell

@BhargavRao Weird, I have 6 LQP flags pending...

Bhargav Rao

09:44

@Tinkeringbell 7424

Tinkeringbell

A DAY??? :/ That's... awful :P

Bhargav Rao

Perhaps they're sent in the queue after a very long delay?

Tinkeringbell

I dunno...

I didn't program the queue

I'll take some time during lunch to dig into it, if it is, it must be on meta or something

JAD

@Tinkeringbell there's also slightly more users to handle them

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Apparently not enough though :P

Bhargav Rao

09:46

Yup, not at all enough.

Tinkeringbell

Is it a problem of too little people with enough rep? Or just lazy people? ;)

Mithrandir

...which is where projects like SOCVR and SOBotics come in!

Bhargav Rao

The later.

JAD

plus, there isn't close to a proportional amount of mods

Bhargav Rao

JAD

09:47

if there was, compared to IPS, SO would have 1000 mods

Tinkeringbell

@JAD If you have lazy people you can have as many mods as necessary, won't fix it

Mithrandir

There are currently, what, 25 mods on SO?

Bhargav Rao

Yup

Tinkeringbell

Only make people more lazy, mod will handle it.

Bhargav Rao

And a few of them are on holiday (myself included).

JAD

09:48

@BhargavRao all those red arrows help push people from caretakers to apathics too

Mithrandir

flag-pls, del-pls | VLQ ("try this") | How to stop conversations about my love life?

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Seems it needs more IPS? :P

Bhargav Rao

@JAD True.

IPS Comment Bot

As an Italian I'm going to say that yes, by all means you should state that you're uncomfortable with it, but I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that there is ill intent behind this gesture: it is fairly common in southern Europe (especially here in Italy, for example) to have body contact during conversation. A funny anecdote: I worked in Scotland in a place that was bought by an Italian company and they told me that, the first time the new owners visited, the Scots thought that the Italians were flirting with them since they kept touching their arm while talking. — Hankrecords 26 secs ago

#2435 Hankrecords (103 rep) | Q: How to handle unwanted touching from my partner's friend during conversations? (score: 33) | posted 182 days ago by Tycho's Nose (5247 rep) | edited 153 days ago by Andrew T. (156 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["you\\W(really)?(need\\Wto|should)"]

Tinkeringbell

Well, if there's over 7k questions each day, I should seriously start some lurking and gain some rep :P

Bhargav Rao

09:52

Answer the typos, they're the best source of rep. ;)

Tinkeringbell

@BhargavRao Hahaha :) Thanks for the advice ;)

Bhargav Rao

(Can only say this outside SO :D)

Tinkeringbell

@BhargavRao Why?

Mithrandir

Typo questions are kinda off-topic on SO

Bhargav Rao

It's considered rep-farmish to answer typos.

They're meant to be down-close-delete voted.

Mithrandir

09:54

> This question was caused by a problem that can no longer be reproduced or a simple typographical error. While similar questions may be on-topic here, this one was resolved in a manner unlikely to help future readers. This can often be avoided by identifying and closely inspecting the shortest program necessary to reproduce the problem before posting.

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Ohhh... Kinda understandable though :)

@Mithrandir Yeah, my brain managed to think that up too :P

You know, I made my first SE account on SO because I wanted to upvote a question. Only to find out I couldn't :P

Bhargav Rao

> votes are recorded but do not change the public score.

Tinkeringbell

@BhargavRao Yeah, so I basically couldn't :P

Will people gain/lose rep for every recorded vote?

Bhargav Rao

Nopes. it's just recorded.

Tinkeringbell

@BhargavRao Yeah, what I thought. So, I wouldn't be rewarding the person in any way...

Bhargav Rao

10:02

Yup. It's useless.

Bah, should prolly go and handle some flags, whilst I'm free. Cya all. \o

Mithrandir

cya

Tinkeringbell

@BhargavRao Feel free to come back sometime :)

Bhargav Rao

Sure.

Tinkeringbell

10:35

Newest question: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/10831/… :D

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to non-verbally communicate that I am listening?

I recently got some feedback that people have the impression that when they talk to me, I am not listening. Usually, when starting a conversation with people, I acknowledge them with something like 'yeah, what about it/what is it?', or I respond to people calling my name with 'yeah, that's me, w...

netherlands non-verbal-communication

IPS Comment Bot

10:53

Welcome to Interpersonal.SE! We can't decide what you should do, but we can advise you on how to do something, in order to achieve a specific outcome. Also, your question is very long and a bit hard to read, could you break it up into paragraphs to make it clearer? — F1Krazy 2 mins ago

#10832 F1Krazy (103 rep) | Q: What approach should I take with this girl? (score: -1) | posted 8 minutes ago by Great Guy (1 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["you\\W(really)?(need\\Wto|should)"]

A J

@Tinkeringbell Seems like you're doing all things already I had suggested.

Tinkeringbell

@AJ The hand thing is new ;)

Maybe put that on the top of your answer then ;)

A J

@Tinkeringbell I got no term for that gesture. Do you have?

Tinkeringbell

@AJ No, but you described it clear enough to make me realize that such a gesture does exist ;)

Extroverted Main Man

-3

Q: What approach should I take with this girl?

I (22 yo) met a girl (21 yo) in my local gym who is very beautiful and seems like a genuinely nice person. She always go to the gym with her mother, her aunt and her cousin. I am friend with her aunt since a long time ago but I do not know her mother so I asked a gym spotter who is a mutual frien...

shyness

Mithrandir

11:01

*throws hat*

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Why? All the dating/girls questions again?

Mithrandir

No, I threw it in a ring.

Bhargav Rao

@Mithrandir Good luck. (Not a member there, but I can understand)

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Why? Usually it's 'throw the towell in the ring' right?

Mithrandir

There are several other good candidates as well, we'll see who the CMs pick :)

@Tinkeringbell "throw the towel in" is to give up, "throwing hat in the ring" is to volunteer for something.

Tinkeringbell

11:03

@Mithrandir Ohhh... what are you volunteering for?

Bhargav Rao

:|

He literally linked it

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell pro-tem on ConLang.SE

Bhargav Rao

chat.stackexchange.com/message/43001902

Mithrandir

I find it amusing that I have the user ID 32 on ConLang.SE and my co-mod on Literature.SE has the user ID 23 on ConLang.SE.

> throw your hat into the ring

to announce your intention of entering a competition or election

Bhargav Rao

I've got the user id of 4 on vegetarianism. Haven't posted once.

Mithrandir

11:07

Heh. I've got 5 on Computer Science Educators, also haven't posted there :P

Tinkeringbell

@BhargavRao Not seeing a link?

Bhargav Rao

@Tinkeringbell chat.stackexchange.com/message/43001902

Tinkeringbell

@BhargavRao not working

Mithrandir

That's what it's supposed to show...

That's the source of the message that I sent.

The final * is linked.

Tinkeringbell

Oh...

Talk about subtle

A J

11:11

@Tinkeringbell I edited to include more ideas

Tinkeringbell

@AJ Yay, a source!

Tinkeringbell

11:25

@Mithrandir I hope you win :)

Mithrandir

thanks ;)

Grmph, I really need to convince my parents that buying a bike for 2,000 is a good idea...

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir 2000 what? pieces of candy? :P

I hope you succeed :)

You could ask an IPS question on that :)

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell New Israeli Shekels

And yeah, they don't really want to commit to buying a new bike right now, no matter how much I complain that my current bike simply does not meet my needs :/

Which means I can't practice, for example, riding off a ledge, because with my current bike all that will happen is I'll fall.

....which I learned the hard way :P

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Show them that you're committed to bike-riding. Ride the one you have now until it's really nothing more than crap metal ;)

Mithrandir

It's almost there! :P

Tinkeringbell

11:34

@Mithrandir Then fall one more time, so it's damaged in such a way that you kind ride it anymore

Are second hand bikes an option?

Mithrandir

Ehh.... not really.

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Okay :) Just asking, because in The Netherlands they often are :)

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to ask an employer to relieve me earliest?

Background : I have been working with an employer for past 10 months. While interviewing me they asked me question related to my previous job profile but when I joined here I came to know that the job profile is completely different. Along with different job profile there are lots of politics in ...

conversations work-environment

Mithrandir

11:52

@Tinkeringbell Well - IPS took a jump right over M&TV.

Extroverted Main Man

-1

Q: How to help my girlfriend overcome her test anxiousty?

My girlfriend tends to over stress before tests in math and physics. She doesn't sleep well, she often cries before, during, and after the test, and she fails as a result. She didn't use to be like that, two years before she did fine in this topics. Also, it's obvious she knows the material bec...

how-to-help

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Huh?

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell IPS pushed M&TV out and took its position as my 6th-highest rep site ;)

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Ohhh... Good. Now make it the 3rd or something ;)

Mithrandir

o_o

A J

11:59

I am not sure if IPS would ever jump over M&TV. ;)

for me at least.

@Tinkeringbell It seems like it won't go in HNQ.

Tinkeringbell

@AJ Yeah, very few views. Probably going to be my worst question ever

Or everyone is busy doing actual research instead of giving opinions :D

Introverted Meta Man.

12:52

0

Q: Should we fix questions that are too broad/unclear or wait for OP?

I imagine this question has been asked before, but probably with different wording, which I was unable to find either here or on SE Meta, so if it turns out to be a duplicate, please let me know with a link - and feel free to vote to close. Often times I'll see a question that is just too broad,...

discussion editing

Extroverted Main Man

13:53

1

Q: How can I stop acquaintances from stealing my photos on social media?

Background I'm a photographer, often volunteering at events. I befriend other volunteers and visitors to these events on Facebook. I would often take pictures of everyone, the volunteers, visitors and entertainers. Event rules and laws rule that I own full copyright to the photos I take and I'm ...

acquaintances netherlands social-media

IPS Comment Bot

What's wrong with nicely explaining your situation and asking them if they could reference you? Isn't the situation already awkward since they stole your photos? I mean it isn't your fault that it is, is it? Maybe you shouldn't want "for my acquaitances to understand that what they are doing is stealing". Are you sure about this point? You have 0 benefit from that and it's purely out of spite, how does that mix with that awkward thing? — Raditz_35 2 mins ago

#10842 Raditz_35 (194 rep) | Q: How can I stop acquaintances from stealing my photos on social media? (score: 1) | posted 10 minutes ago by Belle (128 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by Anne Daunted (8519 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["you\\W(really)?(need\\Wto|should)"]

SmokeDetector

[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Mostly dots in answer: How to convince my girlfriend to let me pay for her? by Bono on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell)

Tinkeringbell

@SmokeDetector Oh... I misclicked, now it's marked spam. How do I fix that?

JAD

@Tinkeringbell you can override feedback by giving new feedback

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Yeah, did. We worked it out :)

Did I already mention I liked the Kendra person?

The fact that you had to pad your answer with extra text should help show you that you really should explain your answer. Why is this correct? Why do you advise this? Just saying not to do something really doesn't answer the question, because it does not help the OP accomplish their goals in any meaningful way, or explain why their goals should be different. — Kendra 2 mins ago

TheTinyMan

14:21

@ExtrovertedMainMan Urgh, I have a friend whose likeness keeps getting stolen for people to use to make fake Facebook accounts. :-(

Anne Daunted

14:31

VLQ: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/10847/2625

Extroverted Main Man

-3

Q: How long until they "should" worry, and how long until you would personally worry?

I'm pretending to be missing after going out on a night with friends. I'm 18, I'm pretending this to an 18 female, an online friend I've never met, known her for years. While I know this seems incredibly cruel, I have my reasons. I was wondering how long until she gets seriously worried, we spen...

online-interaction trust friendship

1

Q: How to tell my friend his novel's ending is too predictable but he should keep writing it?

Context: I have been friend with a guy for 10 years who is a writer, and he is really good with Sci-fi and fantasy themes. He has written a dozen of each so far, and each of them were really good, even if they didn't sell a lot because he is a self publishing type guy and is not well versed in m...

conversations friends conflict-aversion

TheTinyMan

@ExtrovertedMainMan This is...flag-as-abusive-level bad, right? O.o

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan abusive is mostly crap posting... this seems to be a genuine non-IPS thing... Don't think the language warrants rude either. But I feel it's safe to assume there's no salvaging this one and that we can delete it.

JAD

yep

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Yeah, it's not abusive towards IPS or its members, but I consider it abusive toward the other person in question. Didn't recall off hand if that counted, haha, and I also admit that I'm a bit more sensitive to dishonesty than most people are so I needed a sanity check even to draw that conclusion.

Em C

14:39

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/10847/3171 flag as r/a?

JAD

imo yes

TheTinyMan

@EmC Yep, absolutely

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Trust me, my hair is standing up now as well... but I can't go flagging that :P

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell All righty. Thanks everyone. :-)

Haha, well someone else must have marked it as such xD

Peter

@TheTinyMan yes I flagged it as well, see that it is removed now :)

TheTinyMan

14:43

@Peter Yeah. :-) I didn't flag it as abusive - wanted to get the opinions in here first.

Em C

@TheTinyMan aaand it's gone :)

Tinkeringbell

@Peter Was manually deleted by 3 delete votes though, not through flags ;)

JAD

@Tinkeringbell it is marked as r/a though

which only happens if someone also flagged it as such

Tinkeringbell

@JAD Yeah, that tends to happen if people flag stuff, true. Just wanted to point out we beat the flags to it ;)

Peter

@Tinkeringbell I see :D

Tinkeringbell

14:46

I dunno, but wasn't there some penalty for having stuff deleted as r/a? That won't be invoked if delete votes are cast before the flags pile on, I believe

JAD

-100 rep iirc

not sure how that works with mixed flags

sphennings

They were at 0 rep anyway. The penalty won't matter.

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell correct

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Then we might be a bit more cautious mixing those, and try to rely on flags when actually needed...

Mithrandir

Right

Also -

12

Q: Let's talk about handling spam or rude/abusive posts

I keep a pretty close watch on spam and rude/abusive posts on this site, as much as is possible for a normal user without a diamond here, using the 10k tools and some other things that I use to watch for red flaggable posts. And what I've seen is... sometimes, sub-optimal. Let me say that I've ...

discussion spam vote-to-delete

Tinkeringbell

15:28

@Mithrandir people there's seem pretty cool with delete voting as well?

JAD

SFF likes to take a meh approach to strict guidelines

And tbh, in this instance I don't necessarily disagree

apaul

16:34

@Tinkeringbell dvc.junior doesn't seem to be getting the point...

@apaul I'm consciously fine with the pronouns. Thanks. And, yes, I do know what I'm talking about. The fact I do not agree with your answer, does not make my experience less valid than yours. — dvc.junior 2 mins ago

Extroverted Main Man

-2

Q: What shoud I do that I’ve found out my dad is cheating?

I’m new to this website so I couldn’t find any more relevant topic that is related to to my question if you know so help me with that too , So I’m a 16 year girl who has found out that her dad is cheating on her mom ,and I mean it’s not like I found that out recently it’s basically like ,god I do...

conversations

Tinkeringbell

@apaul I am remarking that.. is not an improvement. Flag it for a mod/ nln

apaul

Consciously misgendering people is a pretty strong indicator of ignorance of the topic, just sayin.

Tinkeringbell

16:50

@apaul I am not going to flag it as r/a, just to have it declined again

Just nln it and let it be cleaned up that way

apaul

@Tinkeringbell Already flagged for moderator attention.

NVZ

I got NLN comment flags declined a few times. Some mod out there didn't think it was NLN. Doesn't trust my judgement on that. Meh.

Oh, hey, it's @apaul !

apaul

@NVZ Nope.

Cashbee

Chuck Testa

this is not a mod-only chat, right?

NVZ

@Cashbee Not this one.

Cashbee

17:01

its kind of cool to see all the VIPs of this stack here in a chat :) hey hey hey

Mithrandir

Hi

apaul

VIPs? More like the usual suspects.

NVZ

@Cashbee VIP? Nah, I'm just NVZ.

Yo VIP. Let's kick it.

Cashbee

@NVZ yeah, stupid autocorrect sry ^^

NVZ

@Cashbee Oh, you, I remember you. You joined very early on. But then took a loooong break, huh?

Makes you too a VIP of sorts, yeah?

Cashbee

17:08

yeah kind of :)

i didnt take a break, I was just lurking more

NVZ

@Cashbee I used to lurk on ELU SE for years before I finally clicked the "sign up".

Cashbee

anyway, gotta go again cya

NVZ

@apaul Nope? Uhm.. Okay. :/

apaul

@NVZ Sorry, just a little irritable this morning. Not your fault.

NVZ

@apaul It's Tim Post's fault. Everything is. He loses his keys. And then there is the butterfly effect...

apaul

17:18

@NVZ Nah, Tim's innocent this time. Just a little pissed about some comments...

NVZ

@apaul Well.. Have you tried ignoring them? :)

It works for me.

We have bigger things to fry.

@apaul You're not allowed to be pissed out. You're my only friend. ;)

Mithrandir

There are now 30 deleted comments by my count on that question I answered...

NVZ

Oh, "hey", to you too! @Mithrandir

Mithrandir

Me too what?

Em C

@Mithrandir dang, how do you know how many were deleted?

NVZ

17:24

Mith knows all.

Mithrandir

@EmC By comparing the number of comments that the bot recorded on the question to how many are still extant.

NVZ

See? I told ya!

Em C

@Mithrandir ahh, should've guessed the bot was involved :P

Mithrandir

chat.stackexchange.com/… returns 38 results; there are 8 comments not deleted on the question.

Em C

good ol' HNQ

Mithrandir

17:26

Yeah... last I checked it had over 100 hotness points.

NVZ

Why is the locked bounty giveaway question still showing up as featured on meta?

Mithrandir

@NVZ The featured tag feature is a bit buggy.

Catija

@Mithrandir There's actually 34 deleted.

Mithrandir

@Catija cool. They must've been deleted fairly quickly.

Catija

I caught a couple of them within a minute.

NVZ

17:31

We had some rant(?) of this sort on ELU meta. It was later revised to be a good question, and we should do the same here. How can you tell if someone here actually knows something about a subject? — NVZ 2 mins ago

NVZ

18:04

okay, there it is. my last meta.

0

A: Why was meta question 2469 undeleted?

It's quite easy for new users to find the SE system confusing and frustrating. I know because I had my own rants of sorts, although not much of my thoughts were put into publicly visible posts. But look at me now years later - I'm contributing to the SE network in whatever way I can afford. The ...

I expected 2 to 3 sudden downvotes, but I guess I'll settle for the one. Eh.

@Tinkeringbell hello. :)

Tinkeringbell

@NVZ goodbye

NVZ

Oh, I forgot. It's late in the night.

Oh, wait. I feel like it's a "goodbye" to me?

Did I do something wrong?

Tinkeringbell

That wasn't supposed to be so confusing... Hello goodbye is a television show

D.Hutchinson

@Tinkeringbell hey :) the closest analogy I can come up with is that of referees working a soccer game - or a basketball, football, baseball game. The players in the game are allowed to express their emotions, given a referee's calls during the game. They're allowed to react -- and often with surprise -- before everyone moves on ...

NVZ

@Tinkeringbell I almost had a heart-attack-level confusion. Never do that again.

D.Hutchinson

18:17

he didn't rant any further ... and it looks like he just needed some time ...

Tinkeringbell

@D.Hutchinson he's known for throwing tantrums. Trust me, if not handled they'll be back

@NVZ why not. You know now

D.Hutchinson

Oo ... interesting ...

Anne Daunted

Poor NVZ

Anne Daunted

18:38

Doris Day - Dream A Little Dream of Me

►

MetaEd

18:49

The Mamas & The Papas - Dream A Little Dream of Me

►

Anne Daunted

10

Q: How to deal with social anxiety that gets worse with practice?

I have social anxiety in very particular situations, usually things like approaching people to ask for help or similar, things where there is a significant chance of failure. This applies to the usual stuff like asking people on dates and extends as far as trying to use a coupon or asking questio...

anxiety

Voting to close as off topic.

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