The Awkward Silence

apaul

2:08 AM

lol, not sure if these should be saved for posterity... Funny though they may be.

A J

6:10 AM

@AnneDaunted Name can be blurred, but it will still be present in the edit history.

and the revision history of deleted spams is not hidden for >2k users.

@Mithrandir o/

Mithrandir

hi

Some LQP reviewers would be nice

A J

6:23 AM

Ok

@Mithrandir done. I was on phone, so couldn't check.

Mithrandir

10:12 AM

One of the queues is red, but I don't have anything to review...

Tinkeringbell

10:30 AM

@Mithrandir I had 3 red queues (first posts, lqp, and something else) but after reviewing the lqp all were normal again :)

Extroverted Main Man

11:11 AM

1

Q: How to 'reveal' my suicide attempt to a group of old friends

I've attempted suicide about half a year ago. I was very unstable and very stupid, but at least I survived. I'm currently stable, both mentally and physically (and have the necessary professional support). As most people don't have to and don't want to know that I attempted suicide, I simply te...

Anne Daunted

12:02 PM

@ExtrovertedMainMan Primarily opinion-based

Tinkeringbell

@AnneDaunted Oh? Am I missing something?

Anne Daunted

12:24 PM

@Tinkeringbell You disagree?

Tinkeringbell

@AnneDaunted Not yet, but I'm not seeing it... Arranging a private meeting is an okay question to ask?

Or is this about 'someone else's perspective'?

Anne Daunted

For sure, i may be wrong. But it reads a bit like idea generation

Tinkeringbell

Hmmm... True. Having the two options there doesn't really help either.

Anne Daunted

"I want X and I currently have options X1 and X2 that are both not entirely satisfactorily. Do you have other ideas?" That's what it reads like, to me.

Tinkeringbell

Yeah, I can see it now. How could that be improved?

Anne Daunted

12:28 PM

I'm not sure.

This is about a whole group of people we know nothing about

what would/could an appropriate answer look like?

Tinkeringbell

True. I'm not so sure either, but maybe it might be better to leave the timing of the meeting out of the question?

Like 'How do I arrange this private meeting' without giving away that I'm about to disclose a suicide attempt?

Or 'How do I time a meeting where I'm about to disclose a suicide attempt'...

They're basically two very related but different questions.

Anne Daunted

The timing seems to be crucial for the OP

Also, they already know what to say, so it seems the question boils down to subtly luring them to X's house and then reveal the truth there

Tinkeringbell

More comments! :)

Anne Daunted

Then again, am I being too mean?

Tinkeringbell

No, you're being critical, that is good :)

Anne Daunted

12:35 PM

but it feels so cold-hearted

Tinkeringbell

We need people to look at these questions critically and not just go 'oooh, sensitive subject, upvote!'

It is a bit, but we're not here for warm hugs and chocolate :P

Anne Daunted

Yes, that's true

And yes, I forgot to answer: That "someone else's persepective" was also influential

The funny thing is, I voted to close and, at the same time, am somewhat tempted to answer

Tinkeringbell

Same here ;) I'm very tempted to suggest a 'just tell them you attempted suicide and invite them to a personal AMA session... '

A J

1:39 PM

@ExtrovertedMainMan umm.... what?

Extroverted Main Man

2:40 PM

0

Q: How to properly reject an intimate suggestion?

This question comes from a situation that was quite a while ago. At the time I was 16, while I'm 22 now. I'm a male and was at my girlfriend’s house while we were cuddling. She suggested that I touched her boobs while we were cuddling. I wasn't ready at the time to touch her boobs yet, however a...

relationships saying-no europe

apaul

3:09 PM

Some very personal questions this morning.

Anne Daunted

indeed

apaul

The suicide attempt disclosure is probably something they should ask their therapist about before anything else.

The saying no in intimate situations feels too broad to be answered in its current state.

Anne Daunted

@apaul Yes, and maybe an explanation on why being honest is not a solution

apaul

@AnneDaunted Being honest probably is the solution, but there will be nuances to it depending on their reasons.

Anne Daunted

3:25 PM

@apaul and the situation, although it became less clear (situation when OP was 16, now 22, but also in the future) - the situation seems to change drastically, doesn't it?

apaul

4:08 PM

@AnneDaunted Not necessarily. See the answer I posted. Seems like a general "How do I ask someone to slow down in a intimate situation?"

Anne Daunted

did you answer both questions and voted to close them?

apaul

@AnneDaunted Oh thanks for the reminder, I need to retract a close vote...

Voted to close the intimacy question before the edit.

apaul

4:25 PM

So... Anyway... What's shakin folks?

Tinkeringbell

not much...

apaul

This place kinda dies on the weekend. Anything that can be done about that?

Tinkeringbell

I could put the room on a 48 hour time-out when I start my weekend? Just so no-one can misbehave here? :P

apaul

Die, dies, dying English is great...

@Tinkeringbell Umm... That's the opposite of what I was thinking.

Tinkeringbell

@apaul Hahaha... I know ;) I don't know, people just use SE a lot for procrastinating when at work I guess. So, they're not here on weekends?

apaul

4:35 PM

@Tinkeringbell Probably true. I work the weekends so, I'm usually still around :P

Tinkeringbell

@apaul Hahaha :) I lately feel like weekends are work too, due to the amount of stuff I have on the 'want to do' list... Maybe I should put relaxing on that too

apaul

4:56 PM

@Tinkeringbell Sounds like a good idea.

Anne Daunted

6:25 PM

JOE TURNER Shake, Rattle and Roll 78 rpm 1954

►

Mr. Xcoder

6:36 PM

← 2 messages moved from Python Byte Shavers

Extroverted Main Man

7:21 PM

0

Q: I'm going to see my father for the first time in 26 years and I'm terrified that I'll cry. Is that appropriate?

I had an exceptionally abusive childhood. I left home as soon as I could and was homeless, but I swore I would never go back. I didn't. Now, so many years have passed without having any family that I really didn't think to reconnect with my father was going to be a bid deal. I've gone quite f...

family

Extroverted Main Man

7:37 PM

-1

Q: How to be less annoying in online communication

I have noticed it quite a lot. People seem to ignore my message sometime initially or after a while and I cannot seem to understand the issue. I can give some examples and how I proceeded. A) After finishing my internship, I reached my boss after few months for a LinkedIn recommendation. He gav...

email

apaul

7:57 PM

Ughh... Stupid comment bot...

Tinkeringbell

@apaul Meh. take a look at this (edit history) interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/7712/1599

apaul

@Tinkeringbell Ya, already saw that.

Went with a scorched earth approach...

Tinkeringbell

I edited it. I don't want people to get the idea they can just be rude and circumvent all community policies.

Feels better than scorched earth

apaul

@Tinkeringbell Fair warning that user has a history of getting salty about that sort of thing.

Tinkeringbell

@apaul Hah. Mom cooked tonight. I'm pretty salty too now

apaul

8:05 PM

Just keep an eye out for the roll back and angry comments.

Tinkeringbell

@apaul Ready, set.... FLAG!

apaul

Gotta love it when you take the time to do the hand holding and they completely ignore all advice given.

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/10625/…

Tinkeringbell

@apaul I'm thinking of making another meta... on how to discourage people deleting stuff

Lot of drama for someone that's named like that though

apaul

@Tinkeringbell Ya... On second thought they are annoying in their online communication and people aren't responding entirely because of that.

^jokes

Tinkeringbell

@apaul I know ;) I

I'm just too busy crocheting for instant replies :P

@apaul Btw, that's why I don't want kids

apaul

8:18 PM

@Tinkeringbell Eh, I suppose that's understandable

Well wasn't that cute: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/posts/10626/revisions

Tinkeringbell

8:39 PM

@apaul I won ;)

apaul

@Tinkeringbell He's not bleeding, what do you mean you won?

Tinkeringbell

@apaul I kill without leaving evidence

apaul

@Tinkeringbell Last I looked he's very much alive and still talking shit.

Tinkeringbell

@apaul Well, if you think further action is needed, you might wanna involve a mod.

apaul

@Tinkeringbell You take the fun out of everything ;)

Already flagged it though.

Tinkeringbell

8:51 PM

@apaul You might wanna leave it at that for now :)

apaul

@Tinkeringbell Yes mother :P

JAD

too bad im not allowed to flag individual comments anymore, else this wouldve been a lot of free flags

Anne Daunted

Why aren't you?

JAD

Catija told me :x

Anne Daunted

And it was not a joke?

Tinkeringbell

9:00 PM

@JAD You can sneak around that by flagging the first three as they pop up, and then flag the fourth custom :P

Anne Daunted

Btw, he deleted his answer just now

apaul

In cases where there are several inappropriate comments on the same post it's more efficient to flag the post.

Mithrandir

Flagging individual comments isn't the issue, it's flagging a ton of individual comments on a single post.

apaul

@AnneDaunted Mission accomplished ;)

Anne Daunted

9:17 PM

9

Q: Should I ask my parents if our insurance covers therapy?

I'm a 21-year-old college student who's currently working almost 1000 miles away from home (From CA, currently residing in Seattle, WA) for an internship. I don't know exactly why, but I am extremely unhappy with the current state of my life, and I believe that I have a lot of mental health probl...