The Awkward Silence - 2017-11-17 (page 2 of 3)

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2:00 PM

@Termatinator possibly this

-284

Q: A New Code License: The MIT, this time with Attribution Required

Update: January 15, 2016 Thank you for your patience and feedback. We're going to delay the implementation for now - we'll be back soon to open some more discussions. Important context for those arriving from reddit and slashdot links: The status quo is not "public domain"; attribution i...

discussion licensing feedback creative-commons

@TheSnarkKnight I'm tempted to argue sustained relationship with anonymous person on an internet chat is a kind of friendship, but I'm unsure where this could end up

The Snark Knight

@Tensibai dinner and a movie? JK

:D

I knew it'd happen

My wife would disagree :)

2:04 PM

I called it two days ago

The Snark Knight

@Magisch ???????

yesterday, by Magisch

I just wait for the inevitable situation where someone asks someone else out via chat

hey @Catija hey @John

The mods have arrived \o/

The Snark Knight

@Magisch I'm just kidding around to lighten the mood.

Don't worry. I think he knew that.

He was kidding back.

The Snark Knight

ah.... ROFL

2:10 PM

I might be denser then a neutron star but I'm not that dense yet

Jarko Dubbeldam

Good morning mods :)

Why is this one getting downvotes? I'm not seeing anything rude and that's about what I would advise, apologise, preferably also in front of everyone if she thinks it necessary: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/6871/1599

afternoon for me

The Snark Knight

Not many Americans here, eh?

@Tinkeringbell if she would ask me to apolagise in front of everyone, I would decline

2:19 PM

@Tinkeringbell not my downvote

I would apolagise to her, but not in public

@Termatinator Depends on the situation I guess, but the remark was made in front of everyone as well....

@Magisch I'm currently looking to see if it is perhaps duplicate to an earlier answer

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Termatinator this.

I like anongoodnurse's answer

Jarko Dubbeldam

> this was a public shaming based on her weight that involves several more parties

this seems somewhat preachy to me

The Snark Knight

2:21 PM

@Tinkeringbell Making it a grand affair only adds to it.

Jarko Dubbeldam

^^

tbf I didn't intend it to be a weight based insult because I don't like her weight

it just came out that way

The Snark Knight

@JarkoDubbeldam yep. Sermons are for church.

@JarkoDubbeldam I missed that quote... yeah, that's not very fair to say

Like you say "screw you" to someone sometimes when they punch you

2:22 PM

@Tinkeringbell Maybe because it's one more variation of existing answers ?

The Snark Knight

@Magisch too many people are making this far more serious than it needs to be.

not sure wtf I was thinking but I clearly didn't think saying that through. There was no real calculated "I bet if I insult her weight now that'll hurt" behind it, I just went for the easiest insult given the situation

@Magisch And if she was weighting like 60Kg that wouldn't have been a problem at all

@TheSnarkKnight Dunno, I've seen it happen and turn out good... it can also give everybody a reality shake to not burst out laughing but instead do a collective 'oooh, bad' when such things happen again...

@Tensibai Yeah, looking at that, but I think it was the quote Jarko posted

The Snark Knight

@Tinkeringbell If I were the recipient of such a public spectacle, I'd be ireked.

irked

2:23 PM

@Tinkeringbell this is the same vocational class that will loudly comment on a young teacher's looks and catcall her in the lesson

fat chance in hell there'll be anything of the sort

@Magisch Hey, I don't know your classmates and you left that detail out in the question... okay.. bad idea :)

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Magisch D:

Story time: We once had a pretty good looking intern (female) for biology classes in high school.... some boys were being rude, calling for 'practical lessons' when it came to teaching reproductive systems...

@Tinkeringbell I must applause this, never saw it turn right for my part, just adding more awkward on an awkward situation

@Tinkeringbell Because I don't want half the answers to include a paragraph about what horrible sexists my classmates are

2:25 PM

Lady ordered a demo set from Durex and had all the boys come forward and put a condom onto a rubber penis...

The Snark Knight

@Tinkeringbell reminds me of what happened to me once. I was going back and forth with someone in class, and the guy finally got irritated enough and shouted out "SNARK, may your hearing aid batteries DIE". I replied "May you follow them".... Done, over... no apologies ever given. We're friends today, decades later.

As in, I know but it's not remotely relevant

@Magisch Teasing you ;)

The Snark Knight

@Magisch your classmates are not sexist, just vulgar.

It shouldn't be in there, you're absolutely right :)

Jarko Dubbeldam

2:26 PM

@TheSnarkKnight People seem to confuse those two often

@TheSnarkKnight And yes, I agree with that terminology

@Tensibai Yeah, I can understand.... in this case, the public apology was discussed in private between the two parties first ;)

Otherwise, it would indeed be something that can turn out very awkward!

@Tinkeringbell I've been the one the apologies were directed at, sounded right before hand, was horrible when it was live

The Snark Knight

Personally, I don't think it even requires an apology. She injured Magisch twice, he only injured her once. She's due one.

@TheSnarkKnight That's too snarky :P

So well, been there, seen it on other occasions, public apologies are for politics/boss/whatever, but not classmates

(my 2cts)

2:30 PM

Then we should weigh the amount of injury Magisch suffered in those 2 instances vs. the amount of her injury

The Snark Knight

@Tensibai I agree.

I once made a deal with a bully that he could make fun of me when I was not there

The Snark Knight

@Tinkeringbell WEIGHT oh her injury?

Do you really need to use 'weight' ?

@Tensibai It's needs the right classmates ;) :P But I agree, in principle might be a very bad idea

The Snark Knight

2:30 PM

GRAB THE TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS!!!!

amount would be nicer :)

@Tensibai uhh... not a native english speaker ;) Sorry!

I was talking about weighing things against each other so weight seemed okay :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tensibai significance?

The Snark Knight

@Tinkeringbell well, that's kind of the point. Magisch didn't carefully plan to insult her. He was in pain and it just came out.

Not a native speaker neither, but I can't stop smiling behind my screen and trying to keep serious in the office

2:32 PM

There's a strong feeling against using the same word twice in one sentence in Dutch... I already used amount :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

The amount of suffered trauma

@Tensibai I have such troubles more and more recently.

@JarkoDubbeldam could be a very valid substitution

The Snark Knight

@Tinkeringbell it would have been much different if she had just hurt him and THEN he said that. But she hurt him, when he cried out in pain, she literally added insult to injury.

@Tinkeringbell well, sometimes I use "dat" twice directly after each other

Jarko Dubbeldam

2:33 PM

Mr Snark. I can't help but agree with a lot of things you are saying

Well on a lighter tone, a NAA reflexion: "How to politely approach my neighbours about their excessively screaming child?" <= bring a tuba from scuba gear ?

Jarko Dubbeldam

:)

@Termatinator eeewllll

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Termatinator going out of the way to do that

@TheSnarkKnight as magish said, he may have seem overacting the pain, which she may have took as a first injury also

2:34 PM

@Tinkeringbell please don't make me laugh :P, drinking tea in front of the computer :)

The Snark Knight

@JarkoDubbeldam I'm hearing impaired, dysgraphic, autistic, diabetic, with damage to the motor centers of my brain, clumsy, have poor social skills, severe panic disorder, and a few other problems. IF I catalogued every insult or injury done to me, I'd have to end it all.

@Tensibai If that was the case, then she did a third injury to him, assuming bad intent

I grew up in a different time. We were taught "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me". Good thing too, or I would have killed myself before I turned 13

@Tinkeringbell "en ik ga ervoor zorgen dat dat ook echt gebeurt" little example of a sentence I would use

@TheSnarkKnight Well, I won't go that path, I can't judge not having witnessed the scene, that's just a possibility and fainting a horrible pain because someone in overweight just step on your toes without real injury is something I saw

The Snark Knight

@Tensibai as part of my autism, I am VERY sensitive to unexpected touch. I WILL jump because it is a literal shock to my system. How should my reactions be viewed?

So benefit of the doubt, the reaction could already be a defense against a perceived bad joke on her weight

The Snark Knight

2:40 PM

@Tensibai Well, why isn't Magisch being given any benefit of the doubt?

@TheSnarkKnight I do not condemn him neither

He had a snarky reaction due to pain and girl feedback on his expression of pain, it has hurt her more than wished, things happen

@Termatinator bless you

@Termatinator We do the same in English. "I know that that thing isn't the best quality"

Less stange in french: "Je sais que cette chose n'est pas de la meilleure qualité"

The Snark Knight

@Tensibai again, I doubt that he would have said that without the accusation of overreacting. It was an escalating incident and she was not guiltless.

Sometimes that just falls under "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes"

@TheSnarkKnight never said the contrary, we do agree on the escalation, I'm just giving a possible interpretation of the first escalation from the girl as a reaction to a perceived first joke on her weight. That's a possibility, that won't change the way thing happened, giving an apology because it did go too far from expected sounds ok, but going without sounds ok too

The Snark Knight

2:48 PM

@Tensibai okay, so we were just talking past each other. We essentially agree on most everything :D

Seems so ;)

I'm not always clear in english :/

The Snark Knight

@Tensibai Funny story. When we were kids, I provoked my brother into screaming at me "What are you DEAF!". I laughed when he said it.

She's probably also quite sensitive about her weight. Someone more confident may have taken his reaction as genuine

The Snark Knight

@Stacey that's on her.

@TheSnarkKnight it is indeed

The Snark Knight

2:50 PM

@Stacey sorry if that seemed curt. A pet peeve of mine is people using any sort of problem or handicap as an excuse to be a jerk.

@Stacey was my point, but well, we don't know her so we can just guess, that's rewriting history on guess and not solving how to act, if magish feel he should apologize, the answers should stay on this point I think

@TheSnarkKnight I didn't think it was curt. It seems like they both just hit eachothers' sore points. His physical, hers not so much

I'm playing a little the devil's advocate on this point, just the question is about how to approach to apologize, not if they should or should not or if they should talk to say 'you started the fight and I won't add a word' etc.

It is a personality thing. Some people will be stubborn about being in the right, others will be a bit more meh. It depends on what she's like. Which i think is your point too

Yep, what I think is that part has no place on IPS nor in the answers, that's not what the question is about.

Well that could have a place if the question was 'Is my classmate overreacting and if not how to apologize to forgive this incident?'

The Snark Knight

2:58 PM

It's probably not a mystery to anyone here, but I'm not at all sensitive to my handicaps.

Random musings: How did "handicaps" ever fall out of favor to the worse term "disabilities"? My problems haven't left me disabled. I can still do most everything, but my ability to do so has been handicapped. Just curious. Anyone have any ideas?

@TheSnarkKnight Just to pin in the head of those parking on handicapped spots what a wheel chair is ?

I mean I think it's more direct and bring more empathy, and that change the term to avoid habituation of a term to keep its weight

But I think I understand it can sound rude to concerned peoples

Mister Positive

@TheSnarkKnight Hello sir

The Snark Knight

@MisterPositive good morning!

@Tensibai It just fascinates me how the un-PC term is actually less denotatively strong than the new term.

@TheSnarkKnight My question is not about who is more at fault here

I already couldn't possibly care less about her stepping on my foot two days ago. and verbal insults have long since stopped bothering me

I want to make amends because I don't like hurting people, and try to undo that when it does happen

The Snark Knight

@Magisch How do you un-ring a bell?

3:08 PM

There's someone insulting mods underneath my netiquette question... can someone flag rude? I'm on mobile and haven't figured out how to flag in the app yet.....

The Snark Knight

@Tinkeringbell I'm on it.

@TheSnarkKnight Thank you!

okay... I need someone to distract me...

The Snark Knight

@Magisch another point. Do you think you could do or say anything to hurt me without putting in one HUGE effort?

@TheSnarkKnight no, but thats because you aren't like most people

most people can be hurt by words

Jarko Dubbeldam

@TheSnarkKnight Yeah, probably circle around you trying to keep you safe from any offense or harm

Create a nice cozy safespace for Mr Snark

The Snark Knight

3:15 PM

@JarkoDubbeldam BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, you just won the internet with that one!

@Tinkeringbell comment killed

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Is it racist to say "Nihao" to an asian looking person?

I have experienced many times, that a total stranger said "Nihao" (Hello in Chinese) to a friend of mine who is Asian - not Chinese though. It usually happens when they are passing by, it doesn't seem to me that there is an intention of starting a communication. Story Time My Asian friend, let'...

prosecute people for criticizing snarkknight

@Tensibai Thanks! I was very temted to scold that one :/

The Snark Knight

@Magisch ^5!

3:16 PM

@Tinkeringbell I've probably been the 6th flagger

Jarko Dubbeldam

@TheSnarkKnight :)

@Tensibai Well, at least now it's removed :)

@JarkoDubbeldam that one was gooood!!!

Uhmmm 'is it racis isn't an IPS'.

The Snark Knight

@Tinkeringbell VTC that one.

Regarding that newest question: Didn't catija explicitly say, that it was off-topic to ask if something was racist, when theat "All Jews are rich" question was the talk of the town?

Jarko Dubbeldam

yep

don't open that borehole again

3:18 PM

voted to close, too

The Snark Knight

@AnneDaunted good. Asking if something is racist is a trolling maneuver, and flame bait.

Jarko Dubbeldam

poop

it gained an answer

For an answer about microaggressions, this is pretty dubious:

> It seems untypical for Germans to randomly talk to strangers, so I assume the person you met might be slightly off the norm. (I'm still searching for the correct way to say this).

I'll flag the thing for mod attention. There's nothing there that needs saving, it only will attract comment threads from now on

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/6911/…

I hope I'm not chatty :P

Ah cool Rob deleted it :)

Better :)

Jarko Dubbeldam

who is Rob?

different account of Rob Cartaino?

@JarkoDubbeldam the OP :P

Jarko Dubbeldam

3:28 PM

:|

I just noticed that too

@JarkoDubbeldam hope they know better than to post such questions!

Jarko Dubbeldam

Don't mind me, beer has come out

@JarkoDubbeldam Ýeah, I'm on a train home. I worked in the wrong office today... afternoon drinks aren't fun there, and expensive :P

I was mentioned so many times in other answers.

Jarko Dubbeldam

expensive?

o.o

beer here is provided by the employer

3:33 PM

48

Q: Apologizing when you've hurt a stranger's feelings badly

Yesterday in vocational school I (mostly inadvertently) hurt someone's feelings very badly. In our IT class in vocational school, there is just one girl. She's pretty overweight. I don't know her well at all, essentially only from school, which is only once a week, and even then only in passing....

germany apologies

@JarkoDubbeldam It usually is by mine as well

Only Apaul and anon didn't mention my name.

But sometimes, we have to at the clients office on Fridays (sprint review sessions)....

And that office is one of those fancy offices with 'flexplekken' for 'flexwerken' etcetera... basically it means they don't have the facilities a 'regular' office has with regards to cooler space

So, for drinks you'll have to go to some sort of a 'bedrijfskantine' and pay... they ask 3,5 euro's for a can of coke

Because they have some fancy biological environmental friendly brand

Jarko Dubbeldam

what

thats...

criminal

instagram.com/p/BbWgkR0lSCK

3:36 PM

@AJ Means you wrote a good answer, if those people aren't saying the opposite :P

That reaction of our PM went viral at that time.

@JarkoDubbeldam Yeah.... You can't have 'kartelvorming' or artificially raised prices but these people that are lobbying that everything should be friendly (like Wakker Dier) are doing just that! And they are gaining [/endofconspiracytheory]

Jarko Dubbeldam

Answers should be standalone though, not just a simple expansion on what others are saying

@Tinkeringbell I would put on a tinfoil hat, but that's bad for the environment

@AJ Hahaha :D

@JarkoDubbeldam Maybe if you recycle it from some tinfoil you get as waste?

Yay, rep cap! :)

Me too

3:41 PM

Nice, that makes 27... :P

Two questions on two sites which I answered are in HNQ.

@AJ Nice, those answers often do well :)

@Tinkeringbell Just subtract these two digits. That will be my rep cap count.

-5?

:P

Lol. I expected that. :P

3:43 PM

@AJ I'm too predictable in my jokes, I'm definitely aware of that :)

My answers are garbage on average

Time for dinner

@AJ Enjoy! I'll have about 1 hour to go till then..

10

Q: Do The Big Bang Theory characters take a stand on Marvel vs DC?

Recently I half-listened to something on TV that asserted most comic fans "pick a side" between Marvel and DC and do not mix and match their fandom. I am not familiar enough with these universes to know which characters are in which. Sheldon and the gang wear shirts with character logos on them,...

character the-big-bang-theory

@Magisch Ah well, you just wrote em for the rep for the privileges right?

3:44 PM

@Tinkeringbell Not really

I just like self deprecating (humor)

@Magisch Sorry, forgot the smiley :P

my avatar is the smiley

@Magisch Hmm, that's what we're here for ...

It even has a lil headset to indicate it's tech supporting...

I like smileys behind every sentence if they aren't neutral

@Magisch Mine is a shot of tulips. Took it myself :)

They look very orange, which is a very very Dutch color :P

3:46 PM

I got this when I worked as a DB dev and game master on a early metin2 private server

@Magisch I had my face on here first, but as I started writing more answers I choose something more... unrecognizable :)

i.stack.imgur.com/XXLno.jpg?

Full pic.

Mhm

I never did much... Skype is still empty, Facebook is several years old now

I don't think my picture is on LinkedIn

So I don't know why I choose a picture for IPS :P

I don't like people finding my real name and picture based on the 'web

It's possible I think but not easy for myself

Meh, I'm not challenging you but you'll never find me

3:56 PM

You have a common online pseudonym at least so finding you will be impossible short of scouring archive.org for that photo and then doing some reverse search magic with it or buying some data from aggregators

@Tinkeringbell first couple of search results for "tinkering bell" is from some tarot card blogger :P

@Magisch Hahaha ;) Don't try to look for it, this is the only site I'm using it on :P

tbf I don't care enough either way

I'm not in the habit of stalking people

@Magisch You're right... Wasn't that @Mithrandir's thing? :P

Mithrandir is referring to a speech I gave about charcoal at the open source summit this year

he was in charcoal HQ when tanmay posted about it so it's not like he went looking

@Magisch Oh yeah, that would be pretty easy to find ;-)

4:01 PM

youtube.com/watch?v=WAKc8QUdOOM at 7 minutes

If you want to hear my awful accent

I'm on a train... they block youtube....

Maybe later tonight :)

35!!!

@Catija No, it's definitely 42. 42 is the answer to everything :)

@Magisch Is that the ted talk thing?

@Catija no

Thats a keynote

from tanmay

4:07 PM

@Magisch Yes. that's what I mean.

ahh okay

I can't imagine doing that sort of thing at 15.

@Catija ?

I can't believe how quickly he talks.

@Magisch Flags

Tanmay is extremely intelligent for his age

and very likeable. His parents too

4:09 PM

He seems really nice - from what I've seen in that talk. Does he actually participate in Charcoal?

He made the deepsmoke sub project

so yes, he's around in charcoal and the deepsmoke hq from time to time

You can probably hear from my voice that I'm sweating profusely during that talk

the nervousness was thick enough if you had a knife you could cut it

@Magisch Bah, I listened to it a month or so ago and I didn't hear that.

You did great. And It's funny - I like being able to sort of put voices to people here... in my head, and you're one of the few people I've actually heard talk and have a reference for.

I think it was worth it for myself. Public speaking experience is hard to come by and it gets easier with every time

Does it count as "public speaking" when you're not actually there in person? ;)

The anxiety was there, definitely

4:15 PM

But I swear I saw you tell them in Charcoal that you didn't want to do it again?

How did they end up picking you for that honor, anyway?

Idk if that counts or not but I got some valueable practice in not being reduced into a stammering mess

Nobody else had time

I actually did another one like a month after that

There's no video as of yet I think

Ah. Oh, wow. Did it go better?

It was at the Big Data Ignite 2017

You all should come to SXSW Interactive and talk about it. I bet they'd like it there.

I'm not the charcoal representative guy though

I was the only one who could make time at that time, that was it

4:22 PM

Who are? Art and Undo?

I'm not sure we have 1 guy

But if we do its either art, undo or tripleee

I'm not even a charcoal admin

I'm jealous you're getting your own channel... That will be really awesome.

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Dealing with the awkwardness of coming out

I recently "came out" to two more members of my family. They were very understanding, or at least tried to be, but it was still really awkward talking to them about lgbt+ issues... I obviously thought about the possibility of mixed reactions. I've done this before and know that some people don't ...

conversations united-states lgbt+

@Catija You can maybe get in on that if you join charcoal :D

Charcoal is an open place

@ExtrovertedMainMan Do we really need that disclaimer??? We're a bad place :(

4:26 PM

@Magisch IPS Question: How can I ask to join a group I haven't really interacted with (and are getting a really cool new toy to play with) without looking like I only want to join the group to play with the toy?

@Catija You're a mod, you can just hop in chat, read the wiki and start participating

we're not an exclusive group

@Magisch Oh, I already do. I mostly have a Charcoal page up and look for stuff to flag when I have downtime.

You might even enjoy the art of fighting spam ;)

@Tinkeringbell Just figured it was better to preempt the usual nonsense that pops up under these questions...

@apaul I'm sorry, I think you're just giving em ideas...

4:28 PM

The only thing we don't like is if people join and want people to explain every single thing to them

But let's see how it turns out :)

instead of reading the wiki we wrote for this exact purpose

@Magisch Like that guy on Monday?

yes :(

Yeah. :(

4:29 PM

I came in and just started doing stuff one day, too

Found out about it in socvr

I think I discount myself because I don't have any programming abilities, so all I can do is flag things.

Which I found out about from one of the members lecturing me on not answering duplicates

Thats not true

You can learn regex - it's not a difficult thing. And work towards helping with blacklisting things

Most blacklist stuff is just website\.tld

Oh, I didn't realize mods had special privileges.

Not real programming by any stretch

If you use the blacklist commands a PR will be created

which code admins can approve

if you do this regularly, someone might make you a code admin yourself, then you can do it without oversight

There is a guidance article on when and what to blacklist and what to check beforehand

Is regex the stuff that starts with the !!

4:33 PM

no, thats just the command syntax

regex is a pattern matching programming language that we use for our detector patterns

I promise it sounds more complicated then it is

Mister Positive

@Magisch I liked your answer on the "Should we delete stuff" META

\o/

Mister Positive

?

That was a compliment sir

Your response doesn't look nice, LOL

\o/ is a jubilation smiley

Mister Positive

oh

hands to the face

that looks a lot like another emoji too, FYI

4:41 PM

Hands to the left \o\ and to the right /o/ and cheer \o/ and you're done /o\

:D

Mister Positive

Thanks

Jarko Dubbeldam

4:59 PM

61

A: Does it go against netiquette to give constructive feedback on Facebook?

To me, this doesn't seem to be out of line. It doesn't sound like you were simply bashing the OP, or even trying to be hurtful. Furthermore, they specifically asked for feedback, pointing to a few areas where they might be able to improve. As your private messages show, no offense was taken. If...

I feel like I should just disengage...

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