The Awkward Silence

Beofett

00:08

@Catija Long story short: my mother feels, for whatever reason, that she should give every outward impression of wanting to spend lots of time with me and my family. However, when actually presented with opportunities to do so, she most frequently finds excuses to avoid it.

These repeated asks are her way of vocally demonstrating to herself, her husband, and (presumably), me that she's putting forth effort into making our relationship work... without actually putting forth effort.

Catija

@Beofett Sounds like the solution is to find a way to talk with her about what she really wants rather than what she acts like she wants. She seems to have an XY problem. :D

If she is ambivalent about spending time with you and that is acceptable to you, let her know that. Lots of parents want to spend time with their family... lots don't, though. I find that spending time with my dad is really stressful because he's always trying to be "in charge" even when he comes to our home. A couple of weeks ago he planned out food to eat while visiting us without ever asking me.

Beofett

In all honesty, I think that solution would require her to be a lot less disfunctional than she is :P

Catija

The end result was that my mom (who he's not married to but is on good terms with) told him that we had other plans and he couldn't just do what he wanted without asking us.

@Beofett ha ha. My mom's bipolar. Trust me, I understand.

Beofett

She could never acknowledge that she doesn't want to schedule time with me or my son if it would inconvenience her retirement.

@Catija fair enough :)

Catija

She at least attempts to be reasonable, which I love about her. Unfortunately, the condition often doesn't let you be rational.

Beofett

00:21

Yeah, I have a couple of family and friends who are bipolar. Its rough on everyone involved, even when they're putting effort in

Extroverted Main Man

06:14

0

Q: What to do if my family keeps trying to fix my relationship with a family member?

I've been estranged from my abusive mother for some time now. We always had problems and she suddenly stopped talking to me, which by no means upset me - I've been feeling better after this, because there is no more fighting. She had a mental breakdown quite recently and has been visiting a doct...

Bradley Wilson

07:24

Good morning

Mithrandir

Morning

Bradley Wilson

08:16

@Mithrandir You got any insightful solutions to your nose bleeding dilemma yet?

Mithrandir

That people are repetitive.

People keep giving variations on two options and not adding anything new to the question :/

Bradley Wilson

sigh, that's a shame

SQB

Nose bleeding dilemma?

Mithrandir

8

Q: What should I do if I have a nosebleed in the middle of a meeting?

I've got a problem with my nose. It randomly starts bleeding whenever, especially when I have a cold or the weather is changing. It's been known to suddenly start bleeding even when I'm just standing there. I've got to meet with some people (most my age (15), others 17/18). What should I do if I ...

teenagers meetings israel

I bet that seeing deleted posts here would be... interesting.

I've upvoted two out of 8 non deleted answers.

One is currently at a score of 3.

Bradley Wilson

08:34

The "don't get blood on your boss" answer is my favourite

Mithrandir

The other at a score of 1.

Bradley Wilson

(favourite deleted one)

SQB

Yeah, I need to get my rep up here, so I can see ~~dead people~~ deleted posts.

Mithrandir

@BradleyWilson especially since I don't have a boss :D

Bradley Wilson

@Mithrandir Exactly my thought

SQB

08:36

I've voted up RDFozz's and charwayne's.

Bradley Wilson

Okay, so I've flagged the medical advice comment as "no longer needed" but it was converted to a comment in the first place, I'm not sure it's needed though...

Mithrandir

If anyone feels like Google Translate reading, the meeting is re bneiakiva.org.il/nachshon

SQB

@Mithrandir translation isn't half bad, but keeps the right alignment instead of aligning to the left, which would be the right alignment.

From that translation I gather the meetings are religious studies. Have you considered asking on Mi Yodeya?

Well, what if you actually fix your relationship with your mother? Is that possible? Will that solve it? You will never have another mother; keep in mind. (I don't mean to guilt-trip you; just saying) — NVZ 2 hours ago

Mithrandir

@SQB no, they're not

SQB

I think that comment really has to go.

@Mithrandir Ah, sorry, my mistake.

Mithrandir

08:42

And yes, I have asked on Mi Yodeya about things ;)

SQB

@NVZ would you consider deleting that comment? I won't flag it for R/A, but it borders on it, since the question itself is about people asking the querant to repair their relationship with their mother, which they don't want to. Now you're doing the same as those people.

NVZ

09:01

Sure, deleted. But I don't quite understand how that was R/A.

I don't know for a fact the age of the OP. Maybe it's not really an abusive mother. It's just OP's limited perspective. Who knows? I just thought it's not a good idea to help people get away from their mothers. Whatever problems there is within a family, we in India, do not run away. We fix it as far as humanly possible.

@SQB

SQB

@NVZ Thanks.

@NVZ That may be true, but in this case the OP made it clear they did not want to reconnect with their mother. That is their right and may be the right solution for them. Their problem is with other people telling them they should reconnect, so I don't think we should do that.

NVZ

Even the upvoted answer suggests "forgive your mother".

@SQB Sure, I understand the OP's intention. But I was asking a what if scenario. What if OP actually followed the family members' advice and fixed it? Wouldn't that be nice? It's not about friends. It's about mother. There's only one mother.

If I come here asking "how to get rid of my drunk son?" would you guys get fixed on getting rid of my son for me? Or would you guys suggest a better approach, as in, talk to him, get him to rehab or whatever.

SQB

@NVZ if you made clear in your question that he's not interested in going to rehab, I wouldn't suggest that.

Mithrandir

09:18

If you asked how to get rid of your child I think SE would contact the authorities and delete the post.

SQB

Okay, not literally get rid, but break contact.

You can't change another person, but you can change how you interact with them.

Breaking off contact is one way.

SQB

09:37

@Mithrandir I'm writing an answer. Would you like a Spock quote in there?

NVZ

@SQB Exactly, breaking off contact is the easy way out. All I'm saying is that "break contact" is a one-size -fits-all answer to anything and everything here. It shouldn't be the same way for family. Anywho..

I think we need more participants from outside the US/EU.

It's a ghost town here in other time zones.

Mithrandir

@SQB sure :D

@NVZ oh, they'll come

Eventually

SQB

@Mithrandir there you go.

@NVZ I don't think it's necessarily easy breaking off contact with a person you love. But it may be necessary.

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to handle unwanted touching from my partner's friend during conversations?

My partner recently reunited with a friend from high school, who has also recently been divorced from his wife of 25 years. He has been visiting us quite often lately and we do enjoy having him around. (He is still not over his divorce but at the same time he seems to want to start dating). On o...

saying-no boundaries

0

Q: How to make small talk with friends of an acquaintance while they're giving me a ride

A couple of friends of an acquaintance of mine are doing me a favour by giving me a ride to another town that's 2-3 hours away. I haven't met them before and I'm usually awkward with strangers. How to make conversation with them besides talking about our common acquaintance? Also how should I...

conversations united-kingdom acquaintances shyness

Mithrandir

09:52

@SQB Fascinating.

SQB

@Mithrandir I hope I've added something useful.

Mithrandir

It's certainly a point that nobody else has mentioned.

SQB

Yeah, I thought it was a gaping hole in the other answers.

Also, think back to school. If one of the kids, or a couple of them, provide a distraction, the teacher will usually remove them from the room (at least, in my experience). Not necessarily as punishment, since it may be just a fit of the giggles, but to remove the distraction and continue the lesson.

Mithrandir

School? What's that? XD

SQB

@ExtrovertedMainMan Darn, it has been deleted. I was about to answer.

Rory Alsop

09:59

@SQB I had started too. :-)

Bradley Wilson

I literally wrote an answer, too

NVZ

@SQB Probably rewriting it.

Bradley Wilson

car games was my suggestion

SQB

Car games are always fun.

NVZ

@BradleyWilson Depends on the age.

Bradley Wilson

10:02

I'm not suyre

sure

i'd enjoy car games at any age

NVZ

@SQB For those who see it that way. :P

Mithrandir

I will personally just sit there with an awkward silence until we reach the end...

Bradley Wilson

You can learn about another person also

NVZ

@Mithrandir My man!

Ha

Awkward trip.

Mithrandir

I do that with every car I go in, though.

Rory Alsop

10:03

Spend the entire trip on Stack Exchange on a tablet... :-)

NVZ

I had such a trip that I'll never forget. Years ago. With my girl crush in the same car.

Mithrandir

When I ride with my parents I take my earbuds and close my eyes until the trip is over :P

NVZ

Just made a hello, bello, hi, bye. And then awkward silence in the hours in between.

Extroverted Main Man

-2

Q: Does vaping help you stop smoking?

Vaping is the act of inhaling and exhaling the vapor generated by an electronic cigarette. It has helped many smokers to quit their smoking habits. In fact, according to the American journal of preventive medicine, 31% of smokers who use e-cigarettes as replacement therapy will quit smoking withi...

humor

Rory Alsop

Heh that was quick

NVZ

10:06

It was a blur

Was it a bird, a plane?

Vaping.. LOL

@ExtrovertedMainMan Hey there, it's easy to quit smoking. A lot of people do every year. They die.

(/bad joke)

I see now my badges are in a fancy number. 1, 14, 44.

11 4s are 44..

Anywho.

Back to work.

Bye

Mithrandir

@RoryAlsop Charcoal caught it

Rory Alsop

10:28

@Mithrandir certainly did. I'm unsure whether my click got in before charcoal

Mithrandir

10:39

I am considering writing a PSA on Meta about duplicate answers.

And perhaps a meta about deleting such answers.

Bradley Wilson

I think that'd be a good shout @Mithrandir

gracious1

10:52

Greetings from your friendly neighborhood American batsh**t-crazy SJW.

:D

Okay, that was a reference to what happened to me a few days ago. I guess nobody remembers that conversation.... :/

Mithrandir

I remember!

Also, I believe that this question is off topic: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/2358/…

I cannot vote to close yet, need another 80 or so rep.

gracious1

Speaking as someone who suffers from COPD, I cannot be around "vaping" any more than smoking, so I think all anti-smoking regulations and laws need to apply to vaping.

Mithrandir

@gracious1 Yes. Yes, exactly. But spam hardly ever makes sense anyway ;)

SQB

@Mithrandir why?

@gracious1 Link?

gracious1

I was referring to something someone posted to the chatroom.

I don't knwo how to link back to previous posts.

@ExtrovertedMainMan Oh, is this how you do it. I think vaping is just as dangerous to innocent bystanders as smoking.

Rory Alsop

11:07

yes - that's how you do it :-)

SQB

@gracious1 Oh, hello by the way. :)

gracious1

Hello @SQB

Smoking has destroyed my life. I have COPD and my prognosis is not that great for the future. Thanks mom and dad for all the ear infections and now my poisoned lungs.

So I have little sympathy for smokers. They murder everyone who comes in range of their smoke. That is no exaggeration.

I cannot even be around third-hand smoke. (That's when someone's clothes or a building releases gasses that were absorbed from smoking.)

Mithrandir

@SQB Because it's not asking about interpersonal relations, it's asking for legal advice.

gracious1

Well, that was really heavy for early morning (in the USA).

@Mithrandir I agree that that post is off-topic. It's a legal question, not an interpersonal one.

Mithrandir

@gracious1 I happen to agree, but then again, they didn't know all that they know about smoking now.

SQB

11:12

@Mithrandir I disagree. The question specifically states both "how can I persuade" and "I can't afford to take this to court, nor I think I have enough proof in order to do so."

gracious1

Frankly, I didn't care for the question, because this person is really doing a lot of blaming toward someone who clearly suffers from psychiatric disorders. And if he wants to cut ties with her, then cut ties and stop trying to collect money from someone who is clearly suffering.

SQB

That's something else, perhaps even an answer.

gracious1

Not very compassionate. He should thank his lucky stars he does not have OCD, anorexia, etc. and let it go.

Yes, I am composing it now, but I don't actually belong to Interpersonal yet.

Okay, here is what I wrote:

Frankly, as this is a person who suffers from a number of disabilities, I believe that the kindest and most appropriate thing to do is to write it off as a loss.

She clearly suffers from psychiatric disorders, and the "unnecessary" plastic surgeries are a symptom of that. There's a lot of blame you are putting on someone who is sick.

It is kindest to her, but it also kindest to yourself. You are actually maintaining the relationship by trying to collect what you think she owes you. It's not healthy for either of you. You must be very angry with her that you want to keep this going.

What do you think?

SQB

Does not really answer the OP's question, since they stated they needed the money.

gracious1

They need the money? THey are not going to get it from that person.

The answer is, find another way to get the money.

Okay, I will add that.

I am not convinced she has any obligation to him.

You know what, I don't want to add that last part.

I think it is on topic. Some times the answer to the question is that there is no answer.

"How can I persuade" --- he shoudldn't try to persuade, he should let it go. That is an answer. Not the one he wants, but it's the answer.

Mithrandir

11:27

9

Q: To what extent do we respect the OP's request?

There has been a question rattling around in my mind since I started to participate actively on this site. After reading this question, I feel the need to bring it up in meta. I'm active on several SE sites, and each has it's own subset of "rules", or, if you will, culture. Looking through this ...

discussion

gracious1

Well, I guess I will find out if people like my answer or not. I am not gong to try to help someone do something that I think is wrong. Nor will I encourage him to seek help from others to do the thing that is wrong.

SQB

11:41

11

A: Can answers be off topic? - How to deal with answers that address legal issues

It's not common to refer to an answer as "off-topic", but certainly one of the cardinal sins when answering amounts to the same thing: failing to answer the question. Heck, the most commonly-used flag, available only on answers, is intended for use when... This was posted as an answer, but i...

Also, @Mithrandir, perhaps we should point some of the people over on Science Fiction & Fantasy to Shog's meta-answer, because a great many people there seem to feel that if it looks like an answer, it is an answer.

Mithrandir

adds to list of PSAs to make

:P

Mithrandir

12:59

Does anyone want to look over my PSA to tell me how I should reformulate it to get my point across better?

It's located at gist.githubusercontent.com/superplane39/… for public viewing if anyone wants to.

@BradleyWilson ^

Bradley Wilson

It looks good to me

But i think you propose something the community can do when this happens, like make sure the answer attributes another answer

or flags

Mithrandir

I was also planning on making a second post proposing deleting such answers, unless it would be better to combine them.

Bradley Wilson

I don't think it warrants a seperate post, it keeps the topic into one thread that way. But, I think it should be a suggestion moreover you bringing a solution and the answers can then contribute to your suggestion or propose a new one

NVZ

@Mithrandir Looks nice.

The community currently has not enough users with the privilege to actually delete answers.

Only two users have that privilege: apaul34208, NVZ.

SQB

13:18

@Mithrandir I (pre-emptively, since you have not posted it yet) disagree with you on this.

Yes, new answers should probably acknowledge that other answers are saying the same thing, but I like my answers to be pretty much self-contained.

While there's no need to duplicate an answer, just wording it differently, I generally dislike the "oh, and one more thing" answers, since they can't stand on their own.

NVZ

@Mithrandir you do have to be careful though. Sometimes answers are posted mere minutes apart, and they're long, so two or more users might come up with the same answer independently.

Bradley Wilson

That's a point, we did that today @NVZ

NVZ

Yeah.

But yours is more detailed.

And I notice a slight difference.

You recommend discussing with partner.

I didn't because I think OP already did the discussion.

Mithrandir

@NVZ That is true. But there's a difference between a minute apart and a day apart, and I should probably mention that.

Bradley Wilson

@NVZ I meant a discussion between the partner and the guy touching her, not between the OP and her partner

NVZ

13:26

@BradleyWilson Oh, didn't notice that. Thanks. Nice suggestion, btw.

Bradley Wilson

@NVZ Thanks

NVZ

Let's have that sandbox thingy here.

Mithrandir

I've edited it a bit gist.githubusercontent.com/superplane39/…

Bradley Wilson

Change "In the first case, I do not think that they are a problem in the first case." to "In the first case, I do think it's a problem."

i do not think it's*

sorry, missed out the not there

SQB

13:51

Better.

Mithrandir

(I'm now at the doctor's office and may or may not be able to respond to pings)

I've now posted it.

Introverted Meta Man.

0

Q: PSA: Please avoid writing duplicate answers

I recently asked a question - What should I do if I have a nosebleed in the middle of a meeting? This question received at least 11 answers (2 of which were deleted). I've read through all of the answers posted to my question, and I've noticed something: A lot of the information included in thos...

discussion answers

Gypsy Spellweaver

14:10

On the subject of answers, what's wrong with this answer? And how to deal with a presumably delete-worthy answer that is also accepted? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/2372/27

SQB

@GypsySpellweaver Answer seems okay-ish. Slightly outdated since OP has since revealed to be in southern Yurp.

OP may not have a small claims court, at least not as easily (easy? easily?) accessible.

Gypsy Spellweaver

On phone, didn't see that location was added ex post facto. Location mismatch was my biggest concern.

Shows why we need to rapidly close Q w/o proper context.

SQB

@GypsySpellweaver Is it your answer?

Gypsy Spellweaver

Nope

SQB

Answer is not great, but has two pieces of advice: a) Just cut your losses and leave it be (the X not Y problem) and b) threaten with legal action, either by threatening with small claims or similar court, or by having a lawyer writing a letter.

Gypsy Spellweaver

14:20

On mobile I struggle to chat, answers are not on.

SQB

On the latter (the letter), those things can work. Just a sternly worded letter by someone with some measure of authority (in this case, a lawyer), might scare her into paying back the money.

Gypsy Spellweaver

Because of adding location, OP effectively invalidated a US centric answer.

SQB

14:32

The answer still helped the OP and contained enough relevant information, apparently.

As evidenced by the green check mark.

Extroverted Main Man

15:05

0

Q: What should I say to my teacher who tried to use me?

I had a personal home-tuition teacher who used to coach me since I was in 9th grade. At first, he was a very sincere teacher, who always gave me sufficient homework, gave me extra practise questions, and generally helped me do better at his subject (Mathematics). In return, I tried to be a since...

india teachers

NVZ

15:58

@ExtrovertedMainMan A teacher used you? For what?

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Introvert needs help to avoid giving unintended offense

I am an INTJ and pretty far on the scale of introversion. I am frequently approached by others to either ask questions or obtain my help. I do enjoy helping others, particularly with computers or electronics questions. Not infrequently, I am asked for my opinion in the course of offering assistan...

introverts

Bradley Wilson

@ExtrovertedMainMan, isn't that a little too broad?

you should know better by now

Henry WH Hack v2.1

16:16

Hello World! :)

Loong

@HenryWHHackv2.1 hello

Henry WH Hack v2.1

I am going to change my name to short for one day.

Too much work.

Bradley Wilson

16:29

@NVZ lightning fingers there on that edit

NVZ

@BradleyWilson Sorry, what?

I added a school tag, but on a closer look, realized it isn't school-related. Removed tag.

Catija

@NVZ I appreciate you making edits that fix spelling/grammar but I don't think it's helpful for you to make edits that just change markup, like what you did on my answer yesterday.

NVZ

@Catija I understand.

On a quick look it appeared to be a use/mention distinction.

I would have rolled it back on a second reading.

I wish somebody edited my posts. I (almost) never receive edits.

Bradley Wilson

that's almost a compliment on your english

NVZ

What's the specific question in the following question?

0

Q: Introvert needs help to avoid giving unintended offense

I am an INTJ and pretty far on the scale of introversion. I am frequently approached by others to either ask questions or obtain my help. I do enjoy helping others, particularly with computers or electronics questions. Not infrequently, I am asked for my opinion in the course of offering assista...

united-states introverts

I wish to help, but to what question should I answer?

Extroverted Main Man

16:48

0

Q: What could you possibly say to a friend who cooked a meal you didn't enjoy at all?

Some friends invite you at their home. Just the 4 of you (2 couples). S/he is cooking. At the end, s/he is asking you how was the meal s/he made for you. You didn't enjoy it at all, food was far below average, not to say worse than that. How can you answer that question?! They are good friends, ...

friends politeness europe invitations

Hamlet

Ugh. The europe tag is so broad its useless. See, for example

2

Q: What could you possibly say to a friend who cooked a meal you didn't enjoy at all?

Some friends invite you at their home. Just the 4 of you (2 couples). S/he is cooking. At the end, s/he is asking you how was the meal s/he made for you. You didn't enjoy it at all, food was far below average, not to say worse than that. How can you answer that question?! They are good friends, ...

friends politeness europe invitations

There are huge differences depending on what country you are in

Mithrandir

@ExtrovertedMainMan I can smell an HNQ

@Hamlet that may be worth bringing it up on Interpersonal Skills Meta

Hamlet

@Mithrandir its on meta

Zizouz212

17:09

Hey all of you.

Mithrandir

Hay is for horses, dear.

Zizouz212

I wrote Hay?

No I didn't!

NVZ

@Zizouz212 All of me is here. Isn't yours?

Zizouz212

@Catija Are you trying to blame me for creating introverted meta people?

Mithrandir

@Zizouz212 no, you didn't, but I was recently rereading Flat Stanley

NVZ

17:11

@Zizouz212 No way. You're the maker?!

Zizouz212

@NVZ Ummm... Yeah?

runs

NVZ

Such beauties they are: Mein Mann and the other guy.

Zizouz212

To be fair... @Catija did suggest the name for the main man...

NVZ

I feel like my answer doesn't belong. Need honest and brutal opinion.

0

A: What could you possibly say to a friend who cooked a meal you didn't enjoy at all?

I grew up in an Indian setting, that means, a lot of the family members lived in the same house, ate together at the same table - parents, grandparents, uncles, cousins, and if guests are present, them too. And in practice, the men folk ate first, because they have other matters to quickly get b...

@Zizouz212 We take good care of these two.

They're loved.

They have a home here.

Zizouz212

looks at starboard

I see people like turtles on this site?

NVZ

17:15

@Zizouz212 Well, who doesn't like turtles? They are ninjas.

Zizouz212

Yes they are!

NVZ

@OldPadawan hello there.

Come online. Come to success.

Is my Indian answer long-winded and misplaced?

Zizouz212

@NVZ I like the answer. I'd most likely do the same thing.

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to ask from somebody I can't remember, where did we meet?

He is working in the same office building but by a different company. He welcomed me sometimes already, and it was clear he remembers me from somewhere. Also, I remember his face, however, I can't remember, where did we meet. I welcomed him back, trying to hide that I don't have any idea, who i...

work-environment politeness relationships germany

Em C

hi all! I am not used to chat, can I ask a sandbox-ish question here?

Zizouz212

17:22

@EmC Of course!

Em C

basically I have a similar situation to interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/2426/… but I can't tell if it's different enough to be a new question

NVZ

@Zizouz212 Thanks, but is it long-winded though? Should I cut out the possibly unnecessary family history?

Zizouz212

@EmC The general rule of thumb is that if you include all the details, and the details are different from the other questions, then it's perfectly acceptable to ask a new question.

Mithrandir

@NVZ leave it

You're backing it up with personal experience

Zizouz212

@NVZ I'd leave it. It adds to the answer :)

NVZ

17:24

Okay, thanks.

Em C

@Zizouz212 hmm ok. i guess the biggest difference is my family supports the family member over me

like i've done some of the steps in the accepted answer but it didn't help

Zizouz212

If that's the case, then that's more reason to ask a new question! It would probably also be helpful to make note of the answer then, and explain why it didn't help.

On the side, an accepted answer doesn't mean it's the right answer for you - only that it worked for the OP (who may be facing a different situation than you)

Em C

@Zizouz212 ok! I will see about that... also struggling to make it not too much of a rant but that's a different sort of problem :P

Zizouz212

Haha, if you want to post the question here before you submit it to the site, feel free to do so :)

Em C

@Zizouz212 ok! turns out it can be hard to write about personal stuff without getting too personal, who knew! haha.

Mithrandir

17:34

Just wondering @EmC: Is your username based off of the theory of relativity? Just curious.

Em C

@Mithrandir Yep :D

NVZ

@EmC LOL. True, that. For four years it was a secret that I'm an Indian. (probably)

People on ELU had to be explicitly told that I'm not a native English speaker.

Zizouz212

What in the world is the how the ??!? ?! ?!?

Em C

@NVZ Nice!

my big secret is that I'm a girl.. I usually have gender-less screennames and so I laugh every time someone refers to me as a "he"

NVZ

@Zizouz212 You must have been on a looong vacay, cuz you missed all the fire and fury.

Zizouz212

17:39

Well... Clearly :/

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How should I deal with situations where my conversation partner bashes another country?

In some cases when I talk with someone from another country, he/she starts to talk badly about yet another country, which is neither my country nor my conversation partner's country. The content is usually a strong prejudice against the culture and people in the country, and could include racism....

conversations communication

NVZ

@ExtrovertedMainMan Aren't you always talking to yourself?

Zizouz212

I'm kind of surprised that nobody decided to bring up how critical misinformation is. And quite frankly, the answers there kind of scare me.

@NVZ Haha

Bradley Wilson

I tried to portray that to some users in the comments @Zizouz212 but, there was many of flags and many of comments within the couple of days it hit HNQ

Zizouz212

Yeah :/

There's a whole bunch of dangerous questions coming to the site.

Half the reason why there are these negative views is because people fear the unknown - and then refuse to research it, and fulfill their beliefs by finding lies.

The other half is politics.

HDE 226868

17:43

@Zizouz212 Oh, yeah. That happened.

NVZ

@HDE226868 Expect more.

Flags, comments and whatnot.

HDE 226868

@NVZ Shields are up. Don't worry.

Zizouz212

Star Trek TNG - Romulan! Go To Red Alert!

►

Bradley Wilson

I'm wielding the words of @Catija, "Flag and disengage"

Hamlet

@Zizouz212 did ya know that people who use the phrase check your privilege are extremely violent.

Zizouz212

17:47

Yeah, not surprised.

Catija

What? Something up?

Bradley Wilson

Nothings up, it's more a just in case

Mithrandir

@EmC Yes, that can be amusing. Other times annoying.

(in other words, amusing when someone assumes that I'm the opposite gender, annoying when they are idiots and change how they act towards you based on your gender)

Em C

18:02

@Mithrandir Yeah, exactly. Usually it's people on stack overflow or something where it doesn't make a big difference to the conversation, sometimes I get to go all i33.photobucket.com/albums/d83/Elera/LOTR/eowynahhhh-1.jpg

Catija

I don't know how many times I've been called "sir". sigh

SQB

18:22

2

Do we want The Devil's Panties as a feed in here? It's often relevant.

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to have a casual conversation with new colleagues?

I've recently started working with a new company, and it's great. Every few months, they'll organise for everyone to meet-up in a pub after work for drinks. I would consider myself to be quiet and a bit of an introvert, and so find it difficult to spark up a conversation (and manage to keep it g...

conversations united-kingdom awkward-situations socializing introverts

SQB

@Hamlet let me reiterate that one should use a locational tag of appropriate scope.

@Hamlet no, I've never noticed.

Hamlet

@SQB and let me reiterate that for 90% of questions, europe is not an appropriate scope.

Let me further iterate that while nothing bad will happen if there is too much info, poor answers will result if there is too little info.

> The kind of person who believes commanding strangers to humble themselves is appropriate, is not the kind of person who is likely to be up for a reasoned debate. It's possible that a verbal or physical altercation will follow, and apologizing will only reinforce the idea that it is appropriate to act like this.

Taken from ananswer that somehow has a score of 6

Introverted Meta Man.

1

Q: Should we allow non-conventional approach in IPS? (i.e passive-aggresive)

I believe in neutrality (like my most D&D characters). While most people always attempt to use a polite approach to solve a problem, sometimes a non-conventional method is needed to achieve a difficult goal. This answer on How do I deal with a mother who won't take "no" for an answer? states ...

discussion answers

Beofett

18:46

Again, I am reminded that I really wish there was an "ignore" feature for specific users on the SE network :(

SQB

@Beofett only in chat. Otherwise, you can't avoid me :)

Beofett

@SQB Yeah, I'm rarely in chat much anyway (and no, I certainly wasn't referring to you :) )

NVZ

@Beofett Well, you can't have everything.

Beofett

@NVZ Give me one good reason why not!

NVZ

@Beofett Well, you can't have a reason given for that, for one. :P

Beofett

18:58

well played!

NVZ

@SQB Oh, why would we avoid you? You're our Honeybunch, Sugarplum...

Extroverted Main Man

20:36

0

Q: How to politely respond to unclear responses (email)

So my boss asked me to do something and i responded by asking for clarification, asking "do you want that as blah blah blah or do you want that as yadda yadda yadda". The response i got was "yes that sounds good". How do I respond without implying they didn't really read my response? Or am i ...

work-environment

Mithrandir24601

21:49

@Hamlet There are huge differences depending on the host, never mind the country... My Dad hates to be critiqued on his cooking, while I like something to improve upon for the next iteration of whatever it is, although I'm good with someone telling me that it was exceptionally fantastic and I should be a chef :P

steverino

22:26

I was hoping to get some feedback on editing my question to get it removed from hold:interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/2459/…

John

22:51

@steverino You are asking something pretty broad. Did you think of splitting the question into multiple questions?

This will allow you to get specific about details and what you are looking for in an answer.

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