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12:46 AM
Q: How to avoid disappointing my friend when I criticize her writing?

AlexisRecently, a close friend of mine has started writing very short novels. From a conversation we had, I could clearly tell that she is very proud of the fruit of her labor and seriously considers writing professionally. I accepted to provide feedback, which she has been eager to receive. I now reg...

2 hours later…
3:05 AM
A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

tempPartner keeps convincing me to do new adult activities, how can I reject future suggestions My partner had a birthday last week and they persuaded me to let them make a video of us being intimate. That week also had the whole Valentines thing going on, so they wanted something romantic for it. ...

1 hour later…
4:31 AM
Q: How to cope with my wife's unfinished plans?

DavidMe and my wife are married for almost 10 years. One thing that bothers me is that my wife makes a lot of plans but never finishes them, and this puts a lot of financial and mental burden on us. Some examples: We bought an old house that requires renovation. I suggested to do a small-scale renov...

2 hours later…
6:27 AM
Huh, must have been awkwardly silent here this weekend ;D
Because you weren't here. :P
That mus have been the reason :D
Hi there
7:13 AM
Hello :)
Yay, you're back!
For the autistic people around here: instagram.com/p/B8p0-h2B2Qk/?igshid=1v0d7voskrfdr
Yep, I am :D But only for one week since I will be on holidays after
@Ælis Holiwhat? Don't know what that's like :p
@avazula I think thats what the liquid one can use against demons and undead being called.
Oh no, that was holywater...
7:19 AM
@dhein That reminds me to ask how do you make holy water? :P
7:30 AM
@AJ You have to request it from your employer :'D
@AJ You boil the hell out of it :D
@avazula That would be distilled water then, wouldn't it? :P
8:03 AM
Mornin :)
Morning :)
@dhein Haha
@avazula LOL. :D
8:37 AM
@AJ What's up with the 9?
@Tinkeringbell Tribute to Shog. A bit late though.
Ah, thought it may be but indeed the timing threw me off :)
threw you off?
8:49 AM
> throw someone off
to interrupt and confuse someone; to mislead someone. The interruption threw me off, and I lost my place in the speech. Little noises throw me off. Please try to be quiet. Your comment threw me off.
confused me :)
@Tinkeringbell changed avatar as well
Ah, yeah :) I like it... it looks a bit baseball/basketball team like!
9:04 AM
:D i like the avatar
Related to Cricket I'd say.
is Reddit working for you?
totally working productively on a Monday morning
I don't use Redditt
Dang it!
@ArthurHavlicek yellow
9:06 AM
@CaldeiraG The front page works for me
Thanks for getting me on Reddit @CaldeiraG XD
@Belle you're welcome! :p
@Belle it doesn't for me :(
works for me too
@CaldeiraG Try a different browser?
@Belle IE 11 works :o
9:16 AM
@CaldeiraG huh, that sounds like a DNS issue :S
yeah i suspected the same
Edge also works
Out of a sudden it works now
probably a server side issue
9:58 AM
This one probably needs help but I don't know how to be helpful: interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/a/3962/21067
10:44 AM
@Ælis I'd like to add interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/24135/1599 to that list as well ;)
10:59 AM
Seriously, what do coworkers expect to achieve when they ask me "is this your comfort blanket" when I'm clearly using my scarf as a comfort blanket? Yes, it is. So what? Is your point to shame me or something?
I think it may be intended as a joke. It is not funny though. What I found works for unfunny jokes, is to respond seriously. You kind of want them to explain why it is funny, because it is no longer funny once they explain it.
Yeah, they all seem to want to have a laugh at me. I didn't really mind it the first few time (sinceI am aware that this is unusual) but when it's the 10th coworker who ask you that, it just become annoying.
Coworker: "Is that your comfort blanket?"
You: "Yes. Is it funny to you?"
A bit too confrontational for me ^^. But maybe I could go with a serious "Yes" and then stare at them to make them uncomfortable :p
That might work :)
@Tinkeringbell Did you get your big d back in the end?
11:14 AM
If some of you are into SEDE query, I have an IPS meta question for you ^^
@Ælis I hate you :'(
SEDE is so hard lol
OTOH I'm sure @scohe001 will love to help :)
@avazula Well, you don't have to answer it :p
I'm curious though @Ælis, why would like to know that?
@avazula To know how many we are. Like, what happen if three of us stop moderating all of the sudden? Would the site be fine? Or would there be some (more or less serious) issues?
11:31 AM
Q: How many people are helping moderat this site?

ÆlisFor a SE site to be successful, we need people to help moderate it. The more help, the better. So, I'm wondering, could we have some information about how many different people help moderate this site? Information like: How many different people voted to close a question in the last 1 months...

When you can't plan a meeting when you want because there is no available room :''(
@Belle Yes, when I turned the webcam off :/
11:46 AM
@Tinkeringbell So... it was small because of the webcam? That makes sense.
keep ds away from webcams and everything will be fine
@Belle Apparently shift+d gives me a weird popup when I use the webcam capture program: chat.stackexchange.com/transcript/message/53533387#53533387
It's also only when I use the capture program, e.g. a video call on Discord with the webcam doesn't have this problem
I'm a bit sad I missed all those "big d" discussion. But the transcript is fun though :p
Also, when I first read about it (when I was still sick and tired) and totally missed the NSFW part x)
@Ælis it's odd, it seems that close and reopen votes are not included in the Votes table. And the Deletevotes don't have a userId attached to them.
@JAD I do believe they have there own table (for closing and reopening at least)? I remember some (months?) ago, people here having the same conversation
If I remember correctly, we even had a SE employ coming in to answer us
It might have been around the 1st of January
11:58 AM
That was probably Shog, he was the one who usually dealt with stats like that.
(Unfortunately... he no longer works at SE.)
Yeah, I believe it was him. I didn't want to use his name without being certain though :'(
12:14 PM
@Ælis if they do, it's not in the schema list
12:59 PM
Anyone here that ordered something on aliexpress since the virus outbreak? I ordered two things, one never got shipped and the other one is stuck in the "warehouse in country of origin" on the tracking
I rarely import anything.
I get a lot of "made in China" materials from aliexpress. The price difference is big. My most recent order was 50 keyrings for 1 or 2 euro. Those are 3 euro for 5 in a warehouse nearby.
@Belle Yeah... I have no idea where they are.
There is a drop in fuel price here due to the virus effect, but we might run out of raw material for medicines in a few months.
I had imagined a virus-induced apocalypse to look differently
1:11 PM
@Belle I exclusively buy most phone cases and related on Aliexpress, a case that is no more than 2 Eur is like 10 in a nearby "chinese" store
@Belle Yep, I did, one arrived last week with no issue, the other one just arrived at my country
Bought it on January 19 tho
@CaldeiraG Hmm, mine was ordered about 5 days later, at the start of the epidemic
@AJ9 import importing as im
@Belle 5 days is not enough time for the stuff to leave China in my experience
one of my packages only left China on the 30 so 11 days
Either way, Aliexpress has a customer protection service that is active for 60 days after ordering, if anything doesn't come up on your door by then, you can open a dispute with the seller and get into an agreement. If you don't get to an agreement/seller didn't reply, Aliexpress will analyse the case and 90% of the time you get the cash back :D
1:30 PM
It's not like it's expensive. It's more that I want my things XD
I understand :p
I pay all my stuff with my debit so the money is effectively gone for 2 months if it doesn't arrive
For one item, I decided to order a replacement at a local store, because I need it soon-ish. It hadn't been shipped yet and I ordered it 4 weeks ago.
@Belle :o
It was 2 euro on aliexpress, 30 in the local store T.T
Bye money :(
Actually, the same item was about 25, including shipping, but I decided to go for a version of the item with a few more features.
1:45 PM
ah I see :)
1 hour later…
2:46 PM
Any wow players?
Wow, nice cats!
(but I'm not a wow player though)
They seem to be G'huun (top left), Jaina (top right), Azshara (bottom left) and N'zoth (bottom right).
G'huun looks vicious :O
I find Azshara really beautiful
@Ælis That's because you like names starting with an A
I recognize the name Jaina...
Daughter of the Sea?
2:54 PM
@Mithical Yeah, that's her song
@avazula Oh, I didn't even realize that the most beautiful cat had the most beautiful name!
@Ælis I like Azshara too. She is very proud and confident.
Too bad for the armor. I don't like it when games over sexualize women :/ (especially when I know perfectly well that the game was designed by male...)
True, I don't like that either. It's gotten a lot less, luckily, but it's still around.
3:19 PM
Q: How to Support Emotionally Drained Friend

user23953I have known my friend for only 1.5 years but we connected very well from the beginning and I would now call her my best friend. I've known her from college, she still lives in the same area though I moved away after graduating in May. We keep in touch regularly, over text and periodic catch-up c...

3:33 PM
@ExtrovertedMainMan This question might need some eyes but I like this, been through the same situation
4:04 PM
@Sandman can someone take a look at this and comment if they have a sec? This user reached out a few days ago about posting in the Sandbox so I'm hoping they get the help they need (I won't be able to help out in there until later today)
4:17 PM
A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

BelleIs the following question clear enough as it is? My fiancé has a bit of a troubled history. I knew that when we got together. He has some mental issues, which I attributed to years of being bullied. Only recently I managed to figure out the main cause. He experienced something extremely trauma...

1 hour later…
5:21 PM
Q: what are the answers the we may get from the best friend if we propose her

M KrishnaI want to know that in any one's life is there a situation where you want to propose to your best friend and then she rejected you by stating which answer? I want to know on which reason she rejected her best friend

6:04 PM
@Ælis just added one more query to my answer that I think you'll like more ;)
@scohe001 I like it because I'm at the top :p
Haha exactly why I figured you'd like it more :p
"user58" is duplicated though (if you take a longer time period you will see them and "Arwen")
Bleh. That's the price I pay for displaying usernames. Fixing that while still displaying user names would be needlessly complicated. And taking user names out would be not so great either. How much does it bug you?
Or rather, how much does it bother you that Mith has split personalities according to SQL?
6:19 PM
Wait, What!?
...I used a different username on IPS basically since private beta, as well as making it a hidden account so you couldn't get to it from my other profiles and vice versa. When I anonymized myself across the network after the TL leaks it included IPS as well, so after I decided to become recognizable again I figured it wasn't worth splitting off IPS again.
(the confidentiality thing was a joke based on the fact that most therapists have a confidentiality agreement and having a split personality would be something you discuss with a therapist)
No I just remember having seen the other personality around on the main site but never knew it was you. I also remember having thought it was interesting how regular you were in this chat despite not having an IPS account. But I just assumed you liked the people.
But, I'm not bright so I never put it together even though I knew about hidden accounts
I have many secrets :eyes:
6:35 PM
I'll share one with you WIN + ; 👀 (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
@scohe001 It doesn't bother me. I just find it funny :p
1 hour later…
8:03 PM
Oh I'm a dummy. Forgot I could just join onto the Users table after since I have a user ID. I updated the query. SQL is keeping your secrets again, Mith
I hope it's learned its lesson
I gave it a stern SELECT 'talking to'
I have a question regarding IPS but its probably too dumb to deserve a meta post
ask away
@scohe001 Nice. Plus, now it doesn't deadname user anymore (unlike the actual site...)
8:13 PM
@Ælis yup. That's another benefit. Am I missing any other data in there you thought would be useful?
I see that there are strict requirements regarding answers (that, i can understand) but also a lot of question closed these days as "need more focus" or offtopic. Right now I'm under the feeling almost no one can contribute to IPS and get it right on first try. Isn't it a problem to acquire traffic and grow ? What is the objective of IPS anyway ?
@scohe001 I don't think so, it looks great to me and perfectly answers my question. The only thing missing is a summary table of all the data but I could already do it myself (I'm just currently lazy :p )
@ArthurHavlicek IPS does have a pretty steep learning curve and that may be a barrier to some to participate, but the solution isn't to remove the standards. Those standards are needed and important. It is in how we teach people to use the site.
Objective: Questions and answers, become a knowledge base about behaviour people use to interact with each other. Yes, it's very hard to acquire traffic and grow.

But most questions we get these days are 'he's doing this and this and this and I want him to that, how do I get him to do that' without any details on what the asker has tried/thought of trying... it's just 'here's the person that's being a problem, now tell me what to do'. Which is a bit like dropping your mathematics homework on Physics.SE... the people there can probably give you ideas on how to get to the solution/the soluti
@ArthurHavlicek "I'm under the feeling almost no one can contribute to IPS and get it right on first try" -> That's probably true in most case but as long as we are good at teaching people how to improve, I don't think it's an issue
8:18 PM
Shog said it well one day:
> In this case, the question simply neglected to include a real problem at all, preferring to present a paradox - and as a result, most of the answers boil down to "don't".
Someone doing X, Y, and Z instead of A isn't a 'real problem' for IPS.
You doing X, Y, and Z and not achieving A but B is.
@Ælis oh meh I thought about doing that, but then the laziness hit me too :p
Well then, let's be lazy together :p Plus, I wrote the question, you wrote the query, we can certainly let someone else do the sum-up of the data
@ArthurHavlicek We do have a Sandbox, whose sole purpose is to help users get their questions into shape for the site. If you're thinking of asking a question and worried it might not be well received, I'd encourage you to post your draft there first.
(I know I almost always use it before posting to main)
Well I'm not having any kind of issue right now
Oh, @Rainbacon I have 7,808 rep on MSE! :D
8:26 PM
@scohe001 I think one hard thing is that unless you have some rep, you can't post there... meta requires 5 (unless you're asking about your own posts on main).
Yea that's true :/ I feel like a lot of questions we get are 101 users though
True, there's a bunch of those too :)
I just think that we have people that are lazy posters, we ask them to do quality, but it's not what they were looking for, and in the end when we "solve" a particular problem I'm not sure the base is really growing from it. Well I had the same debate at SO meta, except SO has very reproductible problem and solutions. I'm not sure about IPS
This is a first concern. The other is, I feel like the ergonomy is working against the goal.
e.g. questions are directly posted and not peer reviewed and so are answers
In the end, in my mind SO is working because there are a lot of questions, both good and bad, that are answered, and because quality is easily testable.
@ArthurHavlicek Ehh, it's not, really. Ask the people that are trying to moderate it: They're swamped. There's outdated accepted answers, endless chains of duplicates... Yes, you can easily test the answer and I really miss a compiler for IPS but... Just answering everything isn't what made SO the useful thing it is today.
@ArthurHavlicek There have been people floating the idea of letting every question start out 'on-hold' until some people reviewed it... I think in the end though, having people post then having their posts reviewed (as opposed to e.g. not making them visible until reviewed) might incite a bit more engagement, and a bit less feel like you're dropping stuff into a black hole.
@Tinkeringbell You admit it's not because of quality either, though :)
8:36 PM
@ArthurHavlicek It's about answering the quality questions, and having those quality answers. If people had to go on SO, find 20 questions and run 30 solutions through a compiler before finding one that works... it wouldn't have grown to this size ;)
It works because if it is accepted and upvoted some chances are some people made the compilation for you. In SO you don't really care there are 40 answers to a same question, as long as the most visible works.
It has a model that scale. I'm not sure IPS have a model that scales.
The goal is the same: Compile a repository of high-quality questions and answers on that topic.
@ArthurHavlicek In a sense, there's more than 1 'right' answer here. But that's also why we're working with the backup the way we do. I don't know if you've seen stackoverflow.blog/2010/09/29/good-subjective-bad-subjective before? Take a look at around the middle of the page, there's this graph of 'Objective' on one side, and 'Subjective' on the other... and there's 'Expertise' in the middle. That's the thing IPS is aiming for.
Ideally, we upvote Objective and 'Expertise' if it matches our own, we don't vote on/downvote the ones that don't (keeping in mind cultural differences), and we downvote/delete Subjective to make the site become a repo of high-quality questions and answers.
8:58 PM
I see no difference between Expertise and Subjective. It's probably subjective to a group of self-proclaimed experts. But is that any more valuable ?
@ArthurHavlicek Subjective is "I've never done/have no data on this but think X should work". Expertise is "I've done X, and given Y and Z, it turned out A happened"
We're not a site for self-proclaimed experts, in fact, those have caused the most trouble in the past XD We're a site where people can share their expertise. But only their expertise, not their opinions. We're not a philosophy forum after all.
I just have a hard time grasping how it can work. Well it probably doesn't matter
@ArthurHavlicek If I could make that easier, I would've done it long ago... there's been so many people that don't quite grasp it :/ But apparently we do work, we still exist and haven't been shut down for being completely out of hand and not fitting the SE model yet XD
Just for the record I mean the backup thing can be very authoritative, indirectly
and not always accurate
for example
if i said when i asked my SO for mariage he said yes, I could lie, and it doesn't mean much about your demand to your SO
but you could be tempted to believe it if I'm a respected, upvoted poster
Yeah... so we pray for it to be more accurate than just opinion ;) And we trust people not to lie, because that's just mean to the person whose question you're answering.
9:06 PM
At least people take the effort to come up with a lie then, and not just a great idea... Did you know my first question got an answer of 'you should mace him'? Just that...
Very helpful...
I could solve all questions here with a gun if we'd allow it...
@ArthurHavlicek Yeah, I know... bad mod. Left the church and is still praying like the hypocrite she is.
ty for discussion, it helped me understand anyway
You're welcome. It's a nice time to stop it too... BEDTIME! YAY! :D
Night, see you all again tomorrow :)

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